my parents stole my meds! 💊 r/AITA

[@JumpVentShout]

If the first story is in the USA it's really important to remember that we have FAR less labor rights than the UK or EU. Still needed more info on what their job was for sure

[@kearstinnekenerson6676]

Seriously there is no reason in the USA to give a job two weeks notice the labor market here is based on a high turnover rate

[@pcatma]

Our workers rights in the UK are actually worse that most people realise, definitely nowhere near as good as most European countries. But out of interest, what US labor rights (or lack thereof) would you say might be relevant with regards to this post that Shaaba might not have considered?

[@spectilia]

​@@pcatmaWell, at around 6:30, Shaba said something about the schedule practices of this place being illegal if you took them to any employment tribunal. As far as I know, we do not HAVE employment tribunals in the states, and the schedule for the next week within 24hrs of when you would work, as well as expecting you to check said schedule, regardless of your days off, is completely normal and absolutely not illegal here. Heck, I have worked places where the schedule was posted the day before, was only available as a paper copy hung up on the back and, if you couldn't get through to someone on the phone (fairly common, very busy lines), you would have to actually GO into work on your day off, just to figure out when you needed to be there the next day. So, idk what actual law or, more likely, wide spread union best practices the UK has, but hopefully that gives you an idea.

[@kismitj]

@@spectilia when it comes to entry level jobs it varies by state. department of labor or the employment department regarding labor violations. most states mandate that any place with more than i think 2? employess should bare minimum have the workplace rights for state and federal levels including the minimum wage for job type. the time between schedules Used to be standard, one week in advance for the *bulk* of my retail and service industry jobs. i did have to ask one employer who flubbed a scheduled day off if that meant i was getting a raise for doing the scheduling if it was My problem to have my shift covered (4 weeks after i got the written yep you're off on this day i've only walked off one job, after weeks of being harassed by management to commit to more hours that i couldn't afford to take because i Also had to pay childcare.

[@spectilia]

@@kismitj My apologies, but I am not entirely sure which part of my comment you are responding to? I am guessing the part about the schedule thing not being illegal/it being common practice. Assuming so, I would agree labor practices differ from state to state, but that is arguably a point in my favor, as far as the comment I was responding to. The person I was responding to was asking about UK vs US. So, we should only be looking at federal or at least wide spread best practices (as I believe the UK doesn't have a lot of laws on the matter, but I think they have a fairly robust union structure that more or less fills that role). I am fairly sure we don't have a federal law on the matter of schedule availability and the schedule the day before is still a wise spread issue here, not exclusive to entry level positions either. I am aware of the labor boards and such, but, as I don't know the exact roles of the tribunal mentioned, I didn't want to compare the two. Just by the sounds of it though, they seem to be much more approachable and reactive to complaints than state labor boards. From my understanding, the labor board doesn't really care unless you are reporting something major AND have sufficient documentation on the crime (or at least know where they could easily get said documentation). One dude reporting scheduling practices like this wouldn't even have them batting an eye. Even if it WAS illegal, they would probably just send one dude, or call the business, tell them to stop, and then never follow up. I will point out that wage theft accounts for the largest amount of theft in this country (last I checked, that info could be out of date). If our labor boards gave a crap/had the man power, than I imagine that wouldn't be the case. Sorry if I misunderstood your comment. I also used it to throw on some other things I thought about after my first post. So, sorry if it comes off rambley.

[@kirahight3099]

I hate when managers push THEIR job onto the worker. It is your job as a manager to find fill ins, NOT your employees

[@cosmiccall4257]

With the first story, I think it might be a cultural difference because in America, employers can fire people for literally no reason. That means the culture around work and when is acceptable to quit is most likely different from a country that might have more worker's rights

[@Arosukir6]

And with no notice, too! We're expected to put in two weeks' notice, but our bosses can fire us on the spot. Screw that! I've learned that when push comes to shove an employee is never much more than a replaceable cog in a machine as far as bosses are concerned.

[@Link-dx1lx]

Wait, what? Legally? Or is it more of a "I'm making up a legit sounding reason to fire you but actually I just don't lie you"

[@holy.diever]

​@Link-dx1lx at will employement... they can just let you go whenever they want and the law protects their ruining of lives

[@Link-dx1lx]

@@holy.diever man that's fucked

[@themadmanchannel9036]

@@Link-dx1lx At-will Employment allows an employer to dismiss their employee(s) without "just cause"; i.e. misconduct in the workplace or actual incompetence. At-will employment does not permit discriminatory firings, however. Additionally, in the U.S. it is only customary to submit a 2 week notice and not generally legally required.

[@glitterspray]

Taking the pills away but leaving the container is passive aggressive as HELL.

[@hexonyou]

and as one person suggested- definitely kind of feels like setting OP up to be gaslit. Mom's first response to being questioned is to turn it back on OP with 'I thought you said you didn't really take them anyway?' THAT is such a sidestep of the question, and a way to work OP into the position of "okay well not all the time but-" so that OP has to be the one on the defensive... yeah it just all stinks from top to bottom

[@AnAmelieAnomaly]

"They wouldn't want to let you go unless you've been bad." Absolutely not true here. In many places (like where I live) we have at-will employment, which means an employer can fire you without having to establish just cause. It happened to me many years ago, by a very toxic employer who fired several people before me in a similar way, all in the 2 year span that I worked for her in her small business. It also makes discriminatory firing practices harder to spot, or prove.

[@olivinemage4233]

This x1000000. Very idealistic. But unfortunately, the US is basically a dystopia as far as labor laws are concerned.

[@hexonyou]

growing up in an at will state and having my parent get a life changing job at a christian company.... so I didn't come out until I was an adult, because I was acutely aware of how that could have upset our lives after finally climbing out of poverty. Yeah, it happens for the pettiest reasons when workers do not have protection.

[@LightHalcyon]

I manage a 24/7/365 work place. If I neglect a 3 month old time off request that’s on me. And I have done that and I have covered it myself. OP 1 had terrible management.

[@Buggy.0827]

As someone in the US workforce I'm leaning more towards NTA for story 1. We as workers aren't treated like people. I've only quit without at notice once and it was because of inhumane yet fully legal treatment of me. OP stated their shifts don't typically change therefore it IS safe to assume they haven't. Communication is needed at work & management clearly doesn't communicate nor care about their employees. Situations like these are the reason the workforce in the US is so drained. I've developed full on stress ulcers due to employers. We need to treat employees like people not slaves like we currently are.

[@sassylittleprophet]

Fellow American here, and I agree. I've had to quit multiple jobs on the spot because of abusive managers, they really don't see their employees as people. What makes it harder for me is that I'm mentally disabled so not only am I not often believed or accommodated, I'm also not someone who employers want to hire because my capacity is comparatively limited. Why hire me when they can hire an able-bodied/able-minded person instead and save themselves the trouble? Yes it's discriminatory, but how do I prove that? All they have to say is they found someone more qualified for the job or that I just wasn't the one they're looking for. Working in the States fùçƙíňĝ SUCKS, dude

[@allison5591]

I have even dealt with the scheduling issues. There are some rules about how late they can post them though I know it varies by area. And I gave my old work place hell for doing it like that. Shouldn't have to be swinging the work days hrs so hard you get whip lash.

[@YoutuberGrudge]

That's terrible. My first job out of college was like that too. I didn't typically work on a Sunday, which is when the schedule is out, so I'd have to make a trip to work just to check my schedule. I also had 2 jobs, which made being able to take earlier shifts at the last minute impossible. Now, though, it's so much better given that the schedule is now online for most if not all businesses.

[@alexp712]

AGREE! I'm also in the US and run a program at a non profit. It's my responsibility as a manager to assist with coverage, not my team. Plus, OP had never had any disciplinary infractions before, so its WILD to me to get a write up after a miscommunication. Standard here is a verbal warning first anyway. The only thing I think OP should have done differently is text about the app being down to proactively find out about the schedule. But quitting last minute a job/manager that doesn't care about you is being petty with a purpose, and to me doesn't make them the asshole. You can be fired for no reason other than a manager doesn't like you, not like they give you notice for that. I've worked for a place with awful management who fired several of my coworkers for absolutely no reason.

[@callitags]

It's something that a lot of people outside the U.S. don't understand and aren't familiar with. We have far fewer employee protections, so the culture around work, especially for hourly, not unionized employment is very different. We all know that, unless there's a contract, we could be out of work immediately with zero warning or notice.

[@Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears]

On the missing pills one. No one brought up that the mother could have an addiction problem and took the pills for her use and is hiding that with the smokescreen of concern and maybe genuine concern of her daughter falling into the same trap as her.

[@leggyegg2890]

This didn’t occur to me but genuinely seems like the most likely scenario given everything.

[@thoughtsofanobody]

I think the employer “won’t blink twice” comment is actually quite accurate. Especially recently, in the last couple years more than one company has announced record profits followed by massive layoffs. One of the very first steps following a merger is laying off “redundancy” even though a merger is usually beneficial to a company stocks wise. We are just numbers on a spreadsheet to many companies, only seen as the highest expense to any product/service.

[@sassylittleprophet]

Yup

[@soundlessbee]

I love how optimistic Shaaba is about companies laying people off. Some probably feel bad for letting people go, but many still fire people without a second thought while paying huge amounts to directors and shareholders. The first OP is also quite optimistic about their employer being decent, when everything in the post says otherwise. Telling week's shifts on a previous Sunday is absurd. People actually have lives out of their jobs and need to be able to plan ahead. I hope the new job works out. I don't think it was too big of an assumption to make that their shifts are going to be the same, since they tell that at some point the schedule started to be regular.

[@glitterspray]

“Right to work” = Right to fire without notice.

[@olivinemage4233]

Yeah, all the assumptions op made sound pretty reasonable. It sounds like maybe Shaba is assuming the employer/management is completely normal, good people/people just like her, who would definitely tell op if their time off was approved or not. But most places I have worked will not tell you, even if asked. And if you ask management again, they might right you up for that if it's a particularly toxic company, which it seems like this place is. Many places will give you that time off without telling you, especially if notice is given more than a few weeks in advance. So it seems completely reasonable that op would assume that. Plus, if it's a physical schedule which work is making you come in ON YOUR DAY OFF to check if you're working the following morning, as the story implies... that is just straight up illegal, even in the US. So OF COURSE op would assume they would be told if they were working the following day! There is no scenario here where op in even slightly TA (in my opinion).

[@meggerz5687]

I absolutely hate the idea of employees are responsible for finding a replacement. Do managers really expect to know other people’s schedule and contact info?

[@caitlinmtaylor]

For the first one, I feel like requesting a day off 90(!) days in advance is notification for management to arrange shifts accordingly, not asking if I may do whatever it is that I am planning that far in advance

[@Desimere]

yeah, it depends on the country how the vacation laws are. Where i live, i don't think the employer could even legally deny a vacation notified that far ahead.

[@callitags]

Expecting employees to find cover for their shifts is so stupid. That's part of managing!

[@Serenity_yt]

​@callitags Yeah and the realise you're replaceable bit is also important. Like I work in EMS if I don't show up no wee woo truck for that area. There's still systems in place to replace me and I can put time off requests in 1 month in advance if it's less than that of course I'm responsible for finding someone else to cover my shift it's in between the regular and Emergency deadlines but it feels way more reasonable than the OPs employer and my employer is pretty shit compared to others (pay is way better though so ehh)

[@claudiamcfie1265]

My hubby's contract specifically says that if leave has not been specifically denied it can be assumed as approved. Unfortunately it is frequently denied unless there's some compelling reason.

[@s.a.4358]

True, but why did OP not even ask about it when they did not hear back? It’s possible the manager did not see the leave request (IT glitch or so). It’s odd to not follow up when there is no response to the request. The employer is being the drama, but OP is also not communicating as they should. It’s not even a question of being right or wrong, but wasn’t OP wondering why they never heard back about the leave request?

[@SRHtheHedgehog]

The clothes parents clearly have NO idea how much fabric, thread, etc costs and have no understanding how long sewing takes. It would be literally impossible for someone who doesn't do it professionally to make all those clothes in a few months.

[@emilyfleischmann]

Yep, I came here for this comment! Sewing is not cheap, and it takes a lot of time!

[@Jay_T62]

seriously!!! sewing is so expensive the parents sound like terrible people for putting this much stress, work and financial burden on a child

[@arbisofficial]

If it's feasible, I would totally encourage OP to sit down and calculate how much money and time each piece would require to show the parents why it isn't possible. Maybe parents can keep an eye out for cheap fabrics (thrift stores are great places to find old bedsheets/curtains) and request something for one of the siblings every once in a while (obviously understanding if she said no because she shouldn't feel obligated)

[@violetsnotroses3640]

Yeah. I sew professionally, but there's no way I would take on a project like that. The fittings alone! I'm not sure I would do it even if I was being paid. I do specialize in a really specific kind of garment though, and the idea of making a range of things for a lots of different ages and sizes and style preferences sounds very overwhelming to me. But what they're asking for has a value of thousands of dollars, at least.

[@Oakleaf012]

As someone who also takes klonopin for anxiety I would lose my effing mind if someone stole my medication. When you need it YOU NEED IT and op is just lucky they didn’t find out it was gone in the middle of a panic attack. Way to make the anxiety WORSE. Also (although this is not op’s situation) if they were taking it regularly, the withdrawal hits hard and fast and if someone stole their medication and they couldn’t get to refilled for the restricted amount of time, that could be awful and possibly dangerous. Messing with anyone’s medication is a huge red flag and they’re absolutely right to cut off anyone who would do that to them

[@YoutuberGrudge]

Absolutely! I take medicine for my own anxiety and if my meds disappeared out of nowhere, I would be losing my mind because I get a 3-month supply of medication at a time. Losing one bottle puts me out for 3 months. Often, you can't just order more refills without your doctors approval. Even getting that can be tricky depending on the medication or insurance coverage for the cost of said scripts. OPs mom just wasted time, money, and OPs sanity just to be a nosy, busy body.

[@alexp712]

@Oakleaf012 Also with OPs added comment, it's wild because Xanax has WAY more of risk of dependence than Klonopin.

[@Oakleaf012]

@@alexp712 RIGHT also being on klonopin is nuts bc even doctors are trying to get me to switch to other meds that are WORSE and I’m like??? Why??? Please just let me have what works for me. I’m constantly afraid of my providers cutting me off, I can’t imagine if it was my family too. Poor OP

[@alexp712]

@Oakleaf012 That's crazy doctors are trying to get you to switch, if it works for you it works. I work on Staten Island, NY, and out here its impossible to get a Xanax prescription because of how bad the addiction issue is. People who are trying to get Xanax get prescribed Klonopin.

[@moonface710]

@@KZbinrGrudgeyessss!!! it’s not exactly the same w my adhd meds, but even if i’m completely out of them for some reason before the refill date (like i lose the bottle or they fall down the drain or going on vacation or something) i can’t get it refilled even if my doctor calls the pharmacy and sends a new prescription for it. in general my adhd meds are so hard to get cuz there’s shortages and stuff, and i understand that they only give out a certain amount because there’s a lot of people abusing them or selling them, but dude please i need them to function otherwise i’m literally a sloth. but yeah i digress.

[@lfr8666]

That last story just reminds me of a girl in college who spent Halloween in the ER because the _make-up_ set off her peanut allergy. Nut allergies are hard to deal with because we use them in everything! That being said, yeah that camp better get vigilant about cross-contamination before they've got a wrongful death lawsuit on their hands!

[@Emnms68]

As a sewist, I guarantee that making clothes for all those kids would be more expensive than just buying cheap second hand or new fast fashion clothing. I wish this weren’t the case, but it is.

[@s.a.4358]

True, especially with the younger children who are likely to grow fast and not get a lot of wear out of the handmade clothes. Making one’s own clothes is wonderful but not a cost saving at all unless one will wear the item often.

[@MeenakshiAnanthapadmanabhan]

For the first story I see where you're coming from Shaaba but I do think your viewpoint is a bit idealistic where corporations treat employees with respect etc. And (not to be that person who thinks everything is from the US) if it is from the US, the labor laws aren't set up to protect the employees. So the power is tilted more to the corporations.

[@glitterspray]

OP sounds naive and inexperienced. Manager is just a selfish immature brat.

[@tyrannapusandfriends6254]

Yeah I'm not gonna blame Shaaba for her take, since I'm also not from the US, but I read a lot in the news about the shit corporations there pull, and as someone who lives outside the US perspective I can get not noticing that. But firmly I'm gonna say NTA on that story (even if it's not in the US tbh) due to the shit companies pull on employees

[@s.a.4358]

⁠@@glitterspray this! OP is not the drama for quitting, but they definitely sound very inexperienced regarding working life, communicating better and even understanding that being a ‘good employee’ is no guarantee of anything.

[@hexonyou]

@@glitterspray my take away also

[@kuromushi3464]

I know Saaba is stuck on why they would leave the pill bottle empty, but people do that. My sibling would steal my medicine that I needed for terrible back pain. He left the bottle empty and I was sol and in pain. Later in life he'd go into my room and steal my alcohol bottles (we were all of age). He'd put the bottle back empty. From my experience it's what addicts do. I can't say this mom is one, but in my experience my brother was on a lot of stuff and did whatever he wanted without thinking about others.

[@olivinemage4233]

It does kind of sound like the chaotic train of thought an addict might have... Maybe the mom became addicted after she was prescribed them and wanted to spare her adult child that same pain? Or she is addicted and is worried the meds being in her vicinity would be too tempting for her to resist taking them, so she tried to convince op to get rid of them before she could give in to that temptation? Then she did end up giving in and stealing them and is ashamed for op to know, so she lies to cover for her addiction.

[@missnaomi613]

Yeah, it sounds like the mom is addicted and stole the pills.

[@sockpuppety]

Mom's stolen the pills, and the out loud lie is "to keep you safe!!!" but the real story could be: Mom is the addict and possibly going to take them herself, the real lie might even be from the Mom TO herself: "I'm doing this to keep Daughter safe! I'll just hide these over... here... shame to waste them... just one..." I'd start watching the mom's behaviour like a hawk... You'll never get an admission of guilt. You just don't. stay. there. ever. again. Whether or not Mom can be believed, that's now an untrustworthy environment, doesn't matter WHO did WHAT, it's not a safe place. Or, you never TELL the parents anything, ever again. I know a lot of families like that. They wouldn't tell their parents if their house was on fire; everything is FINE. Technically a lie of omission, but it keeps the peace.

[@sockpuppety]

@@olivinemage4233 agree this is very possible. and sometimes the lie becomes convoluted in the liars own mind: "I didn't steal the pills, I saved her"; "she still had the bottle, those pills in that other container I have are something different"; sometimes a liar can gaslight themself into thinking they are in the right, no matter WHAT happened. I think OP needs to give up getting an admission and simply never trust, or even tell, the mom anything personal like that again.

[@rebeccajesse4604]

When I put in my day off requests (everywhere I worked had very similar policies, except my second job which was just toxic AF) the policy had been “no news is good news”. Basically they will tell me if that doesn’t work, they don’t tell me that it works. So if I hear nothing, I will assume I am approved. If I find myself on the schedule anyways I talk to my manager and they apologize because they forgot and get the schedule changed. This has held true at multiple work places in multiple fields so unless a different process was made clear to OP I can understand their assumptions surrounding the vacation.

[@olivinemage4233]

This 100%

[@s.a.4358]

I have never worked in a place where not rejected means approved - and I have not been working for over 15 years - so this is definitely not the case in all companies. A lot of places have electric approval, so there is no verbal communication about the leave request, but there would always be a record of the request in the system (whether approved or denied) otherwise how is anyone keeping track of who has leave when?

[@rebeccajesse4604]

@@s.a.4358 I’ve never worked at a place that used electronic submissions for time off so maybe that’s the main difference? It was always a note or verbal communication with the scheduler/manager. My jobs included McDonalds and Starbucks, (didn’t ask for a ton of time off there so my memories are fuzzy), a hospital, and a restaurant grocery store. So a lot of shift work that may be easier to account for? I am not sure what happened on the back end but that had always been my experience.

[@Onehorniboy]

If the first story is in the US it’s important to note that not only are Americans laborers/employees not taken seriously or treated fairly, but every assumption made by the OP in this story is completely normal and expected here. Our managers/whoever sets the schedule generally call or text us to let us know if our schedule changes! They also generally say they will contact us if our days off don’t get approved, not if they do. OP is HEAVILY NTA.

[@v3ru586]

Stolen meds: my mind instantly went to the possibility of some expert telling OP's mom some bs about the meds. Speaking from experience, my mom's still trying to treat my ADHD by telling me to stop using coping mechanisms as they were believed to worsen ADHD. I still didn't tell her that I'm on meds, as she already told me it's unnecessary in my case, as I'm highly intelligent

[@Desimere]

yeah, or it might be because lots of people believe that if they had some reaction personally, then everyone else would also have that reaction. My mom recently told me that coffee is not what it used to be, it has been ruined, because she started experiencing negative symptoms from caffeine.

[@darkstarr984]

It’s so bizarre that people were against coping mechanisms for ADHD when I spent my whole life getting by without detection, because of using multiple combinations of time management techniques that I changed around about every 4 months until I was 25 and finally got diagnosed with moderate ADHD.

[@kellydarling1]

Sadly, a lot of people don’t recognize the time and value that go into handmade items. I remember when I was engaged I knit some leaf shaped dish cloths for a friend who got a new place. My mom said it would be a good idea to make them as favours for my shower. I told her no. She doesn’t knit so it would only have been me making them for 30+ people, on top of the fact I had a short engagement and a DIY wedding.

[@callitags]

Sewing clothes is not cheaper than buying them in this economy. Fabric for making a dress can but more expensive than buying many items at a place like Target. That's before factoring in time and labor. The last story is absolutely ridiculous from the parents' side.

[@PoopcakesTheThird]

As someone who sews on a budget, here are a few tips- fabric is cheap if you use bedsheets from thrift stores and to strip any clothes/purses too far gone for donation for parts. If yarn is more your style- many people will sell “destashes” at a VERY discounted price just to get rid of it. Feel free to share- we all broke out here

[@rebeccajesse4604]

For the first story: if I requested time off before the schedule is made then it is the managers responsibility to find someone to cover or change the schedule around. If I requested time off when the schedule has already been made then I could see it being my responsibility. I have been burned in the past when I had called in sick and they said I still need to come in because I didn’t find coverage for my shift. Dude, I can barely talk and I don’t have any of my coworkers phone numbers (I would have to go in to the RESTAURANT while febrile, coughing and sneezing all over the place.) I was young and just caved and worked while sick. I was a customer facing position so believe me, I scared quite a few of them away from eating there that day. But at least the manager didn’t have to make some phone calls. 😒

[@maxc.2411]

I normally agree with Shaaba's takes, but I don't think she understands how corporations are in the US. They absolutely wouldnt blink twice at the idea of firing people. They want to make the most ammount of money with the least ammount of help here. Like I really feel that the fact that things might work differently in another country should be taken into consideration and it shouldnt be assumed it's the same everywhere

[@bradiedean7466]

If the sewing OP doesn't have a sewing machine (which is a very real possibility if money is right side they can get really pricey), then sewing that much by hand in a short time frame could severely damage her hands. I remember the first time i got really focused on a hand sewing project, and just sewing for a few hours a day for a week left me unable to use my thumb without pain for another week, even while using a brace

[@leobeboop4944]

Reddit has a big issue with calling people the asshole for accepting assholey behavior. Example- am I the asshole for upsetting my partner and then the story explains how they aren't the asshole at all and the partner has a million red flags and reddit decides to say op is the asshole for staying with their partner. Reddit also has an issue with actually answering the question and they love to find a completely u related thing that could make the op the asshole rather than answering the question they've been asked

[@qryptid]

My partner just quit because of stuff like the first story. He was hired on for part time for a particular shift and was repeatedly given opposite shifts (if you don't know switching between dayshift and nightshift repeatedly can ruin your sleep so much it causes brain damage) and last minute schedule changes and consistently given twice as many days as he was promised when he signed on. He only gave 2 weeks notice because he respects his coworkers, many people who've quit his workplace in the past few months have just no call-no showed until they were fired because its terrible and there's no respect from management or from customers. The only people that are staying are people who can't leave until they have something else lined up, because they have no choice. No one would put up with being treated as subhuman if they could choose something better.

[@samiwilliams3587]

The last one with the nut allergy. They could very well not be properly decontaminating the kitchen/ preparing allergy safe foods in a safe area. 100% the camp is failing to feed the kids correctly whatever it is....

[@soundlessbee]

The one about clothes is ridiculous. Many people in my family make clothes themselves (sew, knit, crochet) and it is not cheaper than buying from the shop. The materials only are going to cost more than a mass produced product and that doesn't take the time into consideration. The parents are crazy. I also agree with Shaaba's point about huge families. I can't imagine parents who can be there enough for that many children. Years ago, I read an article about grandparents who had 10+ children and 100+ grandchildren and only the grandmother could remember the names of the grandchildren. To someone whose grandparents doted all their grandchildren, that was so sad.

[@tinkerbelle_belle1980]

I have to say, with story #1 I fully understand where the first comment was coming from. A year and about a month ago my husband was laid off from his job, not because his performance was bad (he was getting shout-outs from the CFO and had actually managed to save the company millions of dollars) but because everyone was laying off a metric ton of people in the tech sector. Seriously, there were 5000 people alone from his company, and tens of thousands more throughout many others. Companies, especially large ones, don't even know the people they're laying off, they simply pull a name out of a hat, nod that that's money they don't have to spend anymore, and you're gone. Sure, his higher ups had to do the dirty work, but that's not the same.

[@cathleenc6943]

5:11 I disagree. If a person has had the same schedule for like a few months straight, it should be expected for the manager to say something if there is going to be a change.

[@Nachiebree]

First story is 100% NTA. I've worked in a grocery store with irregular hours and it really gets to you sometimes. Quitting part time work like that is completely fair and justified.

[@moonface710]

OMG YES SHAABA THANK YOU FOR SAYING THE STUFF ABOUT HUGE FAMILIES IT ALWAYS RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY!!!! like at that point once you *intentionally* have 10+ kids, there’s no way you can give them the attention and care and love they deserve. there’s no way you can go to all the recitals, and games, and plays, and ceremonies, and everything for every kid. kids deserve to feel loved and cared for individually and have undivided attention at times.

[@WiloKun]

That last one makes me so mad. A nut allergy is so easy to account for! It is literally one of the most common allergies, and so many foods don't use nuts of any kind! What in the world is this camp doing to trigger a nut allergy twice in two days?! Slapping together PB&Js and then prepping salad on the same surface without even disinfecting it?! That kitchen needs a thorough inspection because clearly somebody isn't abiding by food safety guidelines, which is Serious Business as it can and has killed people!

[@meggerz5687]

The last one made me teary eyed. I survived bulimia and she did the absolutely the right thing. She dealt with her friend with passion, empathy and compassion. I wish I had more friend like her when I was in recovery

[@cherenkov_blue]

Firsr one is definitely NTA. You shouldn't have to remind your employer about processing TO requests or schedule changes. That is the employer's job, no exceptions. In fact, it's literally all they do, because you as employee are the one doing the actual work. If the employer can't do their one job as the administrator of the business, they have in essence made your employment contract void.

[@leggyegg2890]

Idk what industry they’re in or what country but where I live (Australia) the managers absolutely do the same job as all of the other employees in pretty much every case. I can actually think of very few jobs that are lower level (OP is clearly young and inexperienced so not working high up in corporate), or even higher level, where the manager in charge of rostering doesn’t also do the job the employees do. A CEO or owner for sure, but they’re not in charge of the schedule. 90% of the time what you’re saying isn’t true. Agree 100% that the manager is overall TA but I think you’re misunderstanding how most businesses run in general. OP comes across as very naive and in no job is it professional to not check the schedule just because it’s been the same recently if you don’t have contracted hours. Like I said, manager is completely in the wrong and things like bullying and not giving people the roster until the day before are completely unacceptable. I’m just not sure where you get the idea that the person in charge of scheduling isn’t also an employee working the same job as the others.

[@moonface710]

the medication story pisses me off to no end. like OP needs those meds??? she’s an adult, her parents (mom) needs to butt out of her life and let her live, she’s not doing anything dangerous or hurting anyone, in fact she’s helping herself feel better. also like,,, i’m pretty sure it’s legit a felony to tamper with someone’s medication, if i were OP i’d be bringing that up with mom tbh

[@dishevelleddev]

On the parent story: you would leave the bottle hoping OP won't notice until they are home and you don't have to face them while having that fight. Also gives mum time to destroy the evidence. Given Mum's initial emotional response and the history of boundary-breaking definitely doesn't help her case. BAD MUM!

[@YoutuberGrudge]

Considering that at a discounted rate, a yard of cloth is about $3.99. Even if you made 1 item per yard, that's $52/13 pieces. A weeks worth of clothes per person would be 2 pieces per day, 5 days a week, that's 10 pieces of clothes, which is $40/person in just materials alone. Those parents are insane! One great thing about hand me downs are the fact you can customize them to fit you.

[@scloftin8861]

i was thinking maybe she could offer to help customize and teach her siblings, the ones that are old enough, how to do it for themselves as well. Sewing is great skill to pass on. (For the little kids, not as much fabric is needed and recycling older stuff is really functional! )

[@shannono9421]

If mama has her own prescription for a similar medication and also emptied her daughter’s, I wonder if she has her own pill addiction. Plenty of commenters pointed out the risks of dependence and if mum thought the daughter wouldn’t notice them, she might’ve emptied them into her own bottle and is now afraid or ashamed of that action/not ready to confront her addiction

[@bambino05]

My old workplace made me prove I was at funerals and at hospital the time I was hospitalised. Still got "punished" for taking those days off. My attendance was almost 100% and I regularly did overtime. Some workplaces just suck and leaving them in the lurch is the only way to go.

[@gilesluver]

3rd-- NTD!!! I've done sewing. It is a time-consuming process. Ask parents to pay for materials and time, and restrict it to one outfit each. *quick math*That will still take half a year. Yikes! Look OP, may be look into altering thrift clothes to be more the person's style? Starting from scratch for so many siblings is crazy.

[@veronicafoxx8590]

Shaaba, you are so very off in the first one. This is clearly a retail or food service job with a horrible manager. I was exactly this kind of employee in a retail job. I got written up and demoted for getting rear ended on my way to work and having to wait on the police for a report. I quit without notice soon after. OP is ABSOLUTELY and completely NTA. That job was not worth the toxic management, for either me or OP.

[@olivinemage4233]

Completely agree. I think maybe Shaaba is seeing herself a little too much in the employer, because Shaaba is a good person who would obviously communicate with her staff if she could/couldn't give them the day they requested off. And Shaaba probably would be alright with the employee repeatedly checking in with her to see if she gave them the day off if they didn't hear from her. But SO many places just have crappy managers with terrible communication skills, and who are willing to break labor laws by demanding their employees come in physically to check the schedule despite it being their day off. And the schedule being posted less than 24hrs beforehand, literally giving people less than 12hrs notice if they are working that Monday?? No, in no way is op the drama. Just like with the toxic parents stories, I think maybe Shaaba might want to take another look at how she interprets toxic employer stories. Not all parents are loving, just like not all employers are good, unfortunately.

[@blackmoonroze9336]

Oh Starry, we need more friends like you! Extra browny points for checking about crossing the lines after being a super caring friend who did all that was possible to keep your friend safe!

[@vcutler4735]

Shaaba, bless your heart, you truly believe too much the best in people. I have been working a long time and most employers do not give a fig when it comes to firings. Its actually a huge problem right now where in order to balance the books higher ups demand x% of staff be cut and it isnt strategic cuts. Major employers (here in the States at least) have made the job market excruciatingly mercenary so you have to return that energy or else you will be chewed up and spit out.

[@lindenbug]

My heart is racing with second-hand anxiety and anger for the sewing one! I sew myself and it’s WILD how badly they don’t understand how difficult and time-consuming and even EXPENSIVE it can be. It’s not like whipping up a PBJ sandwich. Moreover it’s very weird of someone to feel entitled to someone else’s hobby just because it’s a useful skill. Why is that a thing?? People are so casual about being like, “hey I noticed you do ___, can you do it for me?” without stopping to reflect on how big of an ask it is

[@Rynn_J]

In regards to the first one: as a person living and working in the US all my life, there are A LOT of things employers do to us that are legal but should not be. Most of he jobs I’ve worked have only cared about the company and not the employees. I think in the UK, the work force is VERY different and employees seem to be treated far better. In most of the jobs I’ve worked in, I’m just a warm body that can be replaced.

[@moonblossom9433]

For the first one, one thing that my mom always reminds me of is 2 weeks notice is a courtesy you CAN extend to the company if you choose but if they've been treating you like crap there is no reason to extend that courtesy after all it's not like they would give you advanced notice to make other arrangements if you were to get fired. Edit: I didn't watch far enough to hear Shaaba's response to a comment very much like mine but I stand by my comment, sure some employers feel bad when they have-to let people go, those employers might even let you know ahead of time when something is coming and they're going to have-to let you go for budget reasons or whatever, if you have a good boss who treats you well please do treat them well in return including when the time comes for you to part ways, but that doesn't mean that a bad boss is deserving of the same respect.

[@neilcognito]

I'll always remember a past coworker of mine reminded me of this, she said "read your contract, and see who needs to give notice for quitting, and who needs to give notice for firing, and realize that when they are firing you - they don't have to give notice, but you do."

[@arbisofficial]

Meds story-- the reason they left the bottle was either to hope OP would think they'd just finished the bottle and not suspect them, or to hope they wouldnt notice until they needed to take it and then be forced to go through the situation without it and "prove they don't need it." The second one is downright cruel but unfortunately the more likely one IMO

[@Mr_Eef]

I have worked retail and customer service for almost 20 years and have walked out for my break and not returned once due to how shit i was treated. I got written up for days i had doctor notes for, schedule changes last minute without informing me, multiple new hire training when i had been there less than a week, and countless times when my managers broke store policy to make irate customers happy while making me look like a jerk just for following the rules.

[@anakiwaanaka2815]

SHABA.... LITERALLY every job in the USA is not human enough to let you off a day when your dog dies. They probably wouldn't for a life long friend dieing. Only people they will for is if they are related because they are legally required to.

[@HatoraTomoen]

For story 1, if it’s in the US then Shanna is giving the manager a lot of good will. Companies in the US are set up to make the management exploit the workers to the max. Also while it may be an AH move to quit on such short notice, it’s pretty normal in a retail setting

[@AliceAzemGold]

My first job as a waitress; I use to have to plead/beg for my weekly shifts as I was the ONLY floating staff whose hours changed. At times i just turned up to work around when i normally started only to be yelled at for being late.....Boss once texted me 30mins from me starting a shift that I wasn't needed despite the fact i was already in town. I also was the only person who didn't work Saturdays so i had to walk to work every Saturday night to get paid..... Im so grateful to of left and found a new job with a great boss.

[@reynajohnson1798]

I really don't think Shaaba has a full grasp on US employment. Companies wouldn't want to lay off good employees? They only would if they had to? No. No no no. I've personally seen half a dozen cases where profits weren't high enough so the workforce was trimmed - getting rid of highest earners regardless of performance because they cost the most. American Corporatocracy is a hell of a system.

[@gojyosha7497]

For story 1, I would be going NTA. If a company can fire you or lay you off with no notice, then it should be able to go both ways. Yes, 2 weeks notice is what is expected but there is nothing they can do to you for leaving with less notice. It sucks for the ex-coworkers but sometimes you need to do what is right for you. I've been in a similar situation and I wasn't going to take the toxicity the manager was creating anymore.

[@lamenia]

12:55 Many employers have been laying off employees while reporting record profits. This has absolutely affected employees willing to fo above and beyond. Working through the pandemic has been a challenge.

[@heidinaegele19]

1st story, my previous job Was a grocery store and they Did have this scheduling practice. I left said employer because I finally was able to get the hours I wanted close to home, plus the writing was on the wall when all the assistant managers took a step down because they tried to decrease overtime when that was only way they made more money in the position. And they kept on trying to do things like that to force people to give up their personal libes for their jobs. When you were part time they would bend over backwards to help you and then once you hit full time you could get write ups for being sick, it was ridiculous. Unfortunately this is becoming more normal in the US and standard schedules no longer exsist in retail and instead you have AI generated schedules where your life revolves around work.

[@ChibiRandom13]

The first one sounds a lot like the job I was fired from as I was planning to quit. Barely getting any advance knowledge of when you have to work, being treated like crap even as a very hard working employee, there being no communication with the boss to make sure your vacation went through (this was by design), and the schedule being a terrible app. It was well within my rights to quit on the spot, but instead I decided the next time I saw the manager I was going to give two weeks because they were so hard up on needing employees supposedly. Surprisingly I was fired instead lol

[@s.a.4358]

Story 3: Don’t have so many kids if you cannot afford to cloth them. 14 children is a lot, even if we are talking about blended families. Stop having so many kids if you cannot or are not willing to meet their basic needs, which clothing is. It’s not even about having new or cute things, but kids grow fast so they physically need bigger clothes, shoes, etc on a regular basis. Not even talking about meeting those kids’ emotional needs, which Shaaba rightly talked about.

[@BunneahReads]

That last story I relate to hard to. I've been dealing with a physical stricture in my esophagus for the past 3.5 years where if I ate the wrong thing my body would physically reject it in the most expoditiois route possible. I became too scared to eat as my list of available nutrition shrunk. My husband and friends would need to get me to eat, they needed to check in and make sure I had drunk my warm shakes or I would simply not eat anything. They encouraged me to work out strategies with my therapist and doctors. I'm proud of our fellow peach for reaching out on behalf of and supporting their friend. Friends like them are hard to come by and worth the world. I was able to have surgery earlier this year to fix the stricture and have been happily rebuilding my relationship with food.

[@nala3055]

Gosh this sounds so similar to what I've been dealing with this year, so glad you were able to get it looked at! I know how hard it can be, solidarity ❤❤

[@everogersdownunder1242]

As i was always taught "Assumptions are the mother of all fk ups!!" Also, you *always* have to be told in writing and/or verbally that your leave is approved. Likely in writing so their is no dispute down the line. I've *never* working in any job, where leave requests were always put into writing and approved in writing and I'm turning 41 in 2 days and have had a lot of jobs. I get that the scheduling is awful and shouldn't be this way and they should have a back up method of showing your roster, as apps/websites often fail or have errors. But again, *never assume anything in life* is my motto.

[@kolimarie]

For the first one, I quit my first job (McDonalds) about 45 minutes before my shift because I had an incident with my manager at my last shift and was terrified going in.

[@tenassidy3483]

Story 1: yeah, this sounds like a good at least 50% of retail/ customer service jobs in the United States. I've worked for at least two companies that work like this, I've had managers for my part-time minimum wage job. Tell me that I need to really consider my priorities when I had to call off to help a sick relative. I've had my schedule as an opener( going in before 4:00 a.m. ) change the morning of, and therefore been marked tardy, or as a no-call no-show on a day that I was supposedly scheduled off. And the reason they make such a big deal of call offs here, is often because companies will run the most skeleton crew they possibly can to save on paying labor to make their profit margins look better. So at my current job that's a problem, it would be an okay shift if every single person came to their shifts on time everyday, but often people are sick. Have problems come up family members sick or passing on. We very rarely don't have a call out, which does suck and is bad, but that's why we shouldn't have to be scheduled on skeleton crews. It wouldn't be the end of the world if we were scheduled with some padding.

[@AnAmelieAnomaly]

I had a coworker who worked part time while she was in college doing a theatre degree. She was scheduled for a shift she didn't know about when she had rehearsal conflict. When she didn't show up (because she had given her availability well in advance), the floor supervisor came into our department to find out why and angrily said "Well does she work for us or does she work for the play?" Because apparently she needed to be available around the clock for her low paid and physically draining part time job even at the expense of her education. Wtf. (She quit shortly after graduation and moved to L.A., lol)

[@Pachitaro]

Naur that manager dropped the ball hard and lost a good employee off it. Were they supposed to cancel their plans to retain 'good bean' status? I guarantee there's other people there with more infractions and they're getting less dirty looks and petty bs 😂

[@shelleykoone2987]

I worked in a grocery store where the schedule often didn't come out until the last day of the work week. Usually we would find out sometime Saturday afternoon what our schedule was for Sunday. Occasionally, the manager would have the schedule out on a Friday. There would be a lot of employees calling the store on Saturday or coming in to find out when their first shift was or what their schedule was for the next week.

[@hyperfocused7029]

The mother doesn't want her daughter to take Xanax because she (the mother) is already addicted, hence she "solved" iwo problems, worrying about OP becoming dependent, and needing more pills herself.

[@nathryl03]

Story 1: We have a similar schedule app system where I work and if OP's request time off system is on the schedule app the same way as it is for me, the manager literally ignored the time off request. I had a manager do that because he didn't like people "choosing" their schedule, you worked when he wanted you to unless you had a really good reason not to, according to him. He knew that if he just rejected the request we would just switch shifts with a coworker and those could get approved by any member of the management team, not just him as the manager in charge of making the schedule, so he "forgot" about the requests until it was too late to do anything about it.

[@747gabe]

A regination letter n 2 weeks are corperate formalities done between 2 mutually respected parties

[@petrastedman669]

For the clothing story, I'm just mindblown. It would be one thing if the parents were willing to pay OP the money they'd spend on clothes for the fabric and notions and time, but they're not! And they're then guilting OP with the other kids. So, SO wrong. [Also, I'm just gonna say it: I think that's too many kids, esp if they can't or are unwilling to care for them properly.] I'm also wanting to shake the parents to realize that your kids are going to *grow* and change quickly. The clothes might end up being a waste by the time they're done. The parts of my family with a lot of kids usually took a page from Yours, Mine & Ours (the original movie) and bought wholesale lots of clothing and shoes or bought stuff on sale in whatever sizes they had and passed them up or down between the kids. I love the suggestion of teaching the siblings to sew if they want, and maybe making one thing the kids could use for a while. Or offering to do some light tailoring so thrifted clothes fit better, but can be usable for someone else.

[@vcutler4735]

As someone who sews: a week of clothes IS a full wardrobe and also the materials to make clothes from scratch is way more expensive than getting stuff from the thrift store. Hard NO. And also never tell people you sew they always then ask you to make stuff for free and like 50% get mad when you say no or ask for payment.

[@hatchetfieldharpie3276]

Workers don’t expect two weeks notice. Why do businesses?

[@randomdrawings123]

Thank you so much Shaaba for doing mine ( I was the last one) the camp definitely was not providing the proper recourses for food but we are trying to get that changed and it should be by next year and also thankfully after that day she was able to go back to eating normally and had no more allergy attacks 😁

[@azulmendez6946]

For the pills situation I would tell op to ask dad if mum isn't having a medication addiction herself. I lived with an addict and this sounds like an addict situation. She hates the substance but can't live with it and at the same time can't see op taking them, so she takes them for herself.

[@azulmendez6946]

And the ridicule bottle thing is the kind of stupid thing an addict does thinking that no one is gonna notice. My dad was an alcoholic and he drank a licor I had in my room that I had made myself thinking that I wouldn't be able to notice. It's a classic I would say

[@moonface710]

@@azulmendez6946ngl that alcohol thing is also soooo classic teenager. hate to admit it, but me and my friends did it w one of my friends parents alcohol collection and we just hoped they wouldn’t notice or would think it was someone else who drank it. or we’d fill it up with water LMAO, we were so stupid. but yeah, desperate people do weird shit.

[@aibella619]

I think its funny how Shaaba always get the 'assume' saying wrong. Its "Assuming makes and ass out of you and me" not "an ass out of you" lmao

[@allison5591]

Naw that first story sounds like large corp food industry work in the US. I have been there done that. The managers DO NOT care about the people under them. Sometimes quitting before a shift starts is needed. Companies can fire us for any reason at any time and don't even need a reason. So I won't hurt not giving the company that courtesy when they can't treat the workers like people. You get so tired of work even more when you have no clue what the work week looks like till the day before? You can never plan for anything. Honestly I would have went harder and quit mid shift or something. XD Edit to say I wish I was better at drawing cause I need to make a comic strip about the fighting pills. LOL

[@artheenbyrogue804]

I was mad about the medication one too because who the hell messes with someone's medicine?? I met someone who didn't believe I had really bad ragweed allergies, and took my medication and sent me to the hospital by letting me be exposed to it without my medicine. OP is SO not the drama regardless of the added information. Hopefully they can access their anxiety medicine soon.

[@lucienmyette6205]

Yeah, my job never tells us if we’re approved for vacation. They also don’t tell us if we aren’t. We have to check the schedule when it’s posted.

[@samanthavanostran5144]

First one is nta and I work in a store we have a app but we also get our schedule 2-3 weeks in advance and if we have appointments we talk to manager or coworkers and we can swap shifts with coworkers if they agree to swap.

[@StoryBird2]

8:30 the annoying part of work is that some people have a gripe with something you're doing but never actually tell you, and only tell the higher ups. I get that it's how things are done but then when the higher ups don't bring this up with you and you are silently punished for it, it sucks! This happened once to me when my coworkers didn't like me asking for a ride home during closing shifts, but instead of saying 'no' or telling me earlier in the day they didn't want to give me a ride, they talked to the manager and my closing shifts were cut. NOBODY TOLD ME, I found out after asking for more hours the week I came back from getting surgery, if anybody had asked me or even texted me about it on the app we use for doing this exact thing then they would know that I could get a ride/cab on my own. (I was asking because ever since I joined whenever I didn't have a confirmed ride the first thing everyone told me was 'ask around', I don't ask at all after this incident since clearly my coworkers won't be honest with me)

[@BunniBeshara]

I can’t STAND when adults make the choice to have a dozen kids, then become entitled to their kids’ time.

[@arualblues_zero]

#1 - I'm getting autistic vibes from OP (which could be projecting because they sound like me). It's the "teacher's pet" attitude, the discomfort with sudden schedule changes, and most of all, the assumptions. Because many of us with ASD think very logically (even when we're wrong), we tend to assume what makes sense to us also makes sense to everyone else. I could be wrong (or projecting), but I get that vibe (and I've been there myself, sadly).

[@Paigewe]

This first story gives me anxiety

[@alexiar.ramos-labonte1957]

For the first one, I really disagree. I worked a job that had similar issues where the manager would ignore requests or deny requests for days off because we were super understaffed. Our schedules were released on a similar time schedule and managers would establish regular schedules then change them while our app almost never worked. It’s not rare at all for businesses in the US to treat workers like this and, due to me own experiences, I have to rate Nta for sure

[@alexiar.ramos-labonte1957]

As for the assumptions part of it, these jobs sometimes function on assumptions and I’ve had managed bite my head off and make me feel stupid for asking questions, so I can’t blame op for not asking at all

[@alexiar.ramos-labonte1957]

And that’s the other thing, in the US employers try to make it personal and treat people as expendable so the only way to protect yourself from the capitalist machine is to treat work as work as you said, and quit when you no longer feel respected which is just not what’s normalized in the us

[@mackenziemaybarraclough1207]

That first story made me think of something my boss always says to me. I can be quite the overthinker and can sometimes get stressed over the little things. I am part of a small 8 person team and am the only person who does my role. Despite this, if I'm stressed or if I'm ill and feeling guilty for not coming in, he always says 'no one is going to die if you have a day off.' I'm not sure what badge I would give though. It's tricky. Some of me is leaning towards NTA, and then some of me agrees with ESH.

[@alex_blue5802]

I'm leaning towards NDH. OP is entitled to move on if they find other employment. Usually I encourage people to consider the full context, but in this case everything else seems irrelevant.

[@satunbreeze]

As someone who has worked in food service for a while, this was most likely food service. People there, managers, coworkers, and customers alike treat you like GARBAGE when you don't do exactly what they want you to do, and even if you do somehow perform 100% of the things they want, they still favor those who they personally get along with. Ive always been a good worker and I got nothing for it but 7.25 an hour

[@beyondfan]

If the first one is in the US, we are almost all "at will" employment, which means no one is required to give notice for quitting or firing, but the norm is 2 weeks notice if you are quitting, but possibly zero if you are being let go or fired. And sadly, in shift work, especially retail and food service, it is extremely common to get your schedule the day before the week starts and to not have a regular schedule at all.

[@EotuaDawnwalker]

With the peanut allergy, did she have to use an epi pen or end up having to go to the hospital? At the camp I work at, any time a kid has to use an epi pen for an allergic reaction, we are told to call 911 immediately, because an epi pen only slows down the symptoms and as soon as it wears off, the allergic reaction will come back in full force. The only way to get actual treatment (from what I've been told) is to go to the hospital or urgent care. I'd assume that if she went to the hospital or urgent care her parents would be notified. Imagine showing up on the final day of camp to learn your kid went to the hospital twice. I'd be livid if I were the parent that no one bothered to inform me. This is why I think it's so important in this context to know if she had to use her epi pen or had to go to the hospital. Also, for the camp to not check if things contain nuts or might be cross contaminated is so incredibly stupid on their part. If they didn't properly mark allergen foods and gave her something with nuts or something that's been cross contaminated with nuts, and then she dies from a severe allergic reaction, you better bet those parents are going to sue. We wouldn't let restaurants off this easy. Why is it different when it's a camp? When a resultant or professional kitchen of some sort knows that someone has an allergy, at least here in the US, they are required by law to accommodate that person if possible or risk being sued or having their whole establishment get shut down by the health department. If not possible, the person has to eat elsewhere. But since it's a camp, there is probably nowhere else to eat. Therefore, they have to accommodate her. If I were the parent here, I'd be so incredibly upset that this camp didn't take my kid's allergy seriously on day freaking one. And it's not even some uncommon allergy. It's a nut allergy! It's literally the most common allergy! How can you not prepare for kids with nut allergies? That camp is sketchy as heck in my eyes if they can't even accommodate a simple nut allergy. This is so stupid of a fight to be having to have. No kid should have to go through that in the first place. The camp should see on her health form that it says "nut allergy" and immediately know what to do to prepare for that. And if that's not possible, they should absolutely be contacting the parents to let them know so they can send their kid to a different camp. Lastly, what the heck, nurse? You can't order a kid to only eat single ingredient foods. First of all, you cannot legally tell and kid what to eat or what not to eat. If I did that at the camp I work at, I would be immediately fired. At my camp, it's considered a form of child abuse to limit/restrict what they're eating or force them to eat something they don't want to. Secondly, those "single ingredient" foods might have been cross contaminated with something that has nuts in it. You cannot assume that will solve the problem. The solution is to tell the kitchen staff to get their shit together. They should be deep cleaning the place, setting up separate appliances and kitchen utensils for nuts vs nut free, and making sure this NEVER happens again. If I was the parent, I'd be threatening to sue the camp. This is unacceptable on so many levels. The nurse has to go, the kitchen staff need a stern talking to, and if the problem goes higher on the chain than those people, then those administrators need to also be let go. You cannot let people who don't give a shit about kids' well-being run a kid's camp. Absolutely the fuck not.

[@emberhayes2859]

Shaaba you are extremely wrong about #1. do not give the benefit of the doubt to the managers, ever.

[@Soberdragonfly]

If they only post the schedule a day in advance, I understand why she assumed these things. The scheduler needs to get their shite together.

[@Silly_Mousequarade]

People who don't announce their boundaries scare me cuz I can't read yo mind, how will I know the boundary and avoid breaking it? I have been crochetting for a year at this point, and my mom has been supportive and she supports me by buying materials for me and asking me for small dolls for my baby sister. Which she doesn't mind how long I take and is very excited when I do finish it.

[@blackk_rose_]

Regarding the first story, it really makes my blood boil to hear employers expecting people to come into work after notifying them a day before. A roster should be done on a monthly not weekly basis and published early enough that people wouldn't need to check it outside of their working hours. People have lives and need to plan things, you can't expect them to keep an entire months worth of schedule clear because they have no idea when they'll be working. But the worst part is that often employers get away with it because some employees have little to no other option and are glad to even have a job in the first place or because the country doesn't protect their rights or because they're immigrants and unfamiliar with the country's regulations. Sure, employers can be nice and not want to harm their employees, but in my experience even the nicer ones often disregard the lives their employees lead outside of work, especially when they're stressed themselves. And suddenly they're not as nice anymore or pressure or guilt trip you anyway. Even though they're nice when they aren't stressed or would feel bad for outright firing you.

[@bethwoodward9437]

For the first story: while I agree that the poster should have followed up on their leave request if they did not and not assumed their schedule hadn’t changed. But OP also said their schedule was consistent by then, which makes the timing suspect. It seems like the manager may have changed OP’s schedule as retribution for skipping work the previous day. I wonder if this is an American vs. British difference. As an American, I’m always acutely aware that companies can get rid of you at any time for any reason, and frequently do. It may be “just business” for them, but it’s your livelihood. (And sometimes, frankly, it IS personal. Office politics are real, and people will get thrown under the bus.) I’ve also seen a lot of managers on power trips who would absolutely play games with schedules and time off requests to play head games with employees. So yes, OP needs to learn to take more ownership over their schedule and not just “assume” things, but also, I’m never going to fault someone for sticking it to an employer. NTD.

[@Kaenightowl]

Frankly, because of at will employment laws in the states, I don’t feel that ANY worker owes their company notice. You can be fired at any time for any (legal) reason, so you can quit at any time, without providing an explanation.

[@magdak7261]

Thank you for another great video! It's so refreshing to listen to your open-minded, compassionate reflections, when sadly many people just jump to conclusions and judge internet strangers without any kindness

[@R0mbVs]

I actually used to work for a local company who set out scheduling the same way as story 1. That kind of scheduling is enough of a nightmare on its own; the other details sound pretty damning on the business. On my part the owner was very authoritarian. The last straws were that they threatened to write me up for not breaking the law doing my job, that they had essentially told me our cameras were not for security (but to spy on employees), and I told her not more than 24 hours a week numerous times to then see I was scheduled for 35 hours that week. My other coworkers consistently were scheduled during their classes (when they had outlined their classes to the scheduler). I can understand where you are coming from Shaaba. A LOT of people dont quit jobs; they quit managers. You are right that first poster couldve given constructive criticism as well though (in my experience) they often don't listen. I do usually think it is best to give notice as well. The big issue to me is that workplaces are NOT democratic; rather they are generally authoritarian. There has to be balance.

[@ALG3228]

I think the reason the parents put the empty bottle back in Op #2's suitcase is because they assumed OP wouldn't open it (given they had said they didn't take it often) . But if the bottle was missing altogether, OP might have noticed that and would have confronted the mom. I think they left the bottle to avoid a confrontation.

[@alyj6398]

To my mind, the opposite would make more sense. If the bottle is missing there is no telling where it is (purse, car, parents' house, home, work, hospital, the possibilities for where it got lost is endless after a month) so accusing the mom is a lot more of a reach, but the bottle being in the suitcase but no pills being in the bottle means that SOMEONE took the pills. 12 pills didn't just dissolve in the properly closed bottle so someone (OP, husband, parent) had to have taken them.

[@brooke6153]

I really dont understand the commenter saying "its time to set boundaries. Dont announce the boundary" How do you set a boundary if you don't announce it, someone cant respect a boundary they don't know.

[@Quickfire412]

In my experience with surgeries in the US, they have only asked me to not take my medicine when it was a blood thinner. A lot of doctors have also told me to take my anti anxiety meds because they know how anxiety inducing surgery is. So I'm less inclined to believe that OP's mom was thinking that OP should stop taking her meds because of surgery itself. But that's just my experience. I'm immediately thinking mom took them to sell them lol but damn that's something horrible.