My Personal Trainers Wife Told Me TO FIRE HIM As I'm Getting Too Friendly r/AITA Reddit Stories

[@megshells]

story 1 - as the wife of a personal trainer, OP is definitely not an asshole for giving a token of thanks. personally, i have never gotten jealous or upset when my husband receives a gift from a client. to me, it speaks to what an excellent trainer he is, and what he has done to help people improve their lives, especially his clients with chronic pain and other medical conditions. imagine being THAT insecure… OP’s friends need perspective.

[@ginathecookie]

its also not like the gift is a flirty gift.. its a gift card (or was it cash? either way) 😂 its probs useful for more than one person since it's monetary (for stores) too.

[@meirin5316]

when my fiance got gifts from clients i was happy for him and proud - cuz that means he is doing a great job :)

[@eileenkelleghan680]

Althou i know it will be seen as geeky/freaky... thanks to the "anime trend" and a particular spot, it had been rediscovered a psych diseases previously discarded called "Obsesive Love Disorder" and many of those stalker kind of people suffer from it, the worst ones actually go as far as to murder anything they belive is in their way with their objective... crazy i say.

[@cynicalminion]

i'm also a minute in... there's a MASSIVE difference between showing appreciation, and "trying to poach a man who's wife you've never actually met..." 3:25- that person sounds like that SHIT-tastic house you HAVE to deliver a newspaper to on xmas eve because you KNOW they'll complain to your boss if you don't... and you go out of your way to provide GOOD customer service, which they accept as their "due" as if they were a royal family... so "happy holidays, no tip"

[@drewthistlethwaite8909]

My friends wife is a personal trainer. Her husband jokes but is low key serious when he brags his wife’s tips can include cars. Dudes so proud of her. Her fav joke she makes(it’s more a bit they both do) is that he wouldn’t even mind if she slept with ppl as long as he can join them 😂😂😂😂😂 it pisses off her family but I met them at a swingers thing so 🤷🏻

[@eldeano9964]

"one got stubborn, I ended up cancelling my holiday plan with them...". That's the best way to deal with stubborn/doubling down people, cut them out of your life.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Imagine being that bad of a friend that you learned your friends trainer is being stalked by an insane woman but all you focus is the gift she gave him

[@eldeano9964]

@@browhattheactualfu-2659 which was less generic than socks

[@TheKennethECarper]

Story 2: Nobody is an asshole in this story. OP clearly feels dwarfed by the shadow of his father in law who sounded like a truly good man. He's so intimidated by his FIL's memory that he's blind to the fact that his SIL sees HIM in the same light. SIL isn't an asshole because she feels hurt that OP is hesitant to walk her down the aisle. She can't see things his way, because her feelings are that of a daughter thinking her father has rejected her. There's no bad people in this story. It's a sad story. It's a very human story. And the whole story is about the love and respect two human beings have the men who were like fathers to them.

[@bwill887]

I agree with that. I thought it was funny that OP essentially played the same role as his FIL for his sister, taking on the role of her father figure and supporting her, and cannot see it. I think it is a sign of respect that OP feels awkward in the role that would otherwise be for his FIL but I doubt there is anyone that FIL would rather past that job too. FIL took in and supported OP, for him to take on a similar role for the daughter. I think mentioning the FIL in the speech would be a good way to honor the man who raised OP and allowed him to be the person that would successfully raise his daughter.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

OP is definitely TA cause he needs to shut the fuck and be The Man that his FIL was for him & he has been doing the past 20 years for SIL... It's such a weird thing to spaz out on

[@ThePinkBinks]

“Is that even his wife? Sounds like a crazy stalker.” Very sadly that was my first thought. Hate my cynicism at times though it’s usually right.

[@Daaaanielle]

I’m so impressed by that. Lol. Never in a million years would I think that 😂. Reddit is pretty amazing with that train of thought.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: *NTA* The wife is totally insecure. It was just a gift card not an open invitation to cheat on her. Also the friend saying “no one gives gifts to service people“ well Miss blueblood nice to know your classist opinion and that you’re above “the help“ ATU: Wooooow That woman is crazy on a whole new level…. The stalker thing really threw me for a loop

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I always give my "Service People" a Christmas Gift (one of them is even Jewish lol). This includes my mechanic, my attorney, my accountant, my handyman, my kids Taekwondo Instructor, even my UPS guy, (you should have seen the expression on his face when he delivered the package and I told him it was for him and to open it lol), etc. My wife is an RN and used to teach martial arts but because of her illness, she can no longer teach martial arts but she used to get a ton of Christmas gifts from the kids and adults she trained. Granted, she did have to give a couple of the adult gifts back because they were just a tad to inappropriate or bizarre (panties from one guy, another lady gave her a dildo lol) but virtually everyone I know gives their "Service People" aka friends, a gift. I do either their favorite alcohol or a gift basket of fruit, snacks, candies, cookies, etc.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

@@thomasjoseph5876 It’s always nice to give people in the “service industry“ any type of gift to show appreciation for the work (Especially considering the BS they have to put up with when they’re just trying to earn a living) I mean An old lady from my old neighborhood gave the bus driver homemade cookies as an appreciation gift for making sure her granddaughter got to school safe.

[@robertx8020]

it might be different if she had given him a new car or a $500 gift card! This was just a token of appreciation!

[@Argonisgema]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Sucks to be that one stubborn friend though that decided to dick there feet down on the issue for some reason.

[@ScarlettDragon07]

Heck, when I was a cashier, I had customers give me stuff around the holidays. It was nice and made me feel like I was doing a good job

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 absolutely NTA. You're employing a personal trainer. And, exercise is so good for chronic pain. Do what works with your body. Exercise also releases endorphins, decreases anxiety and depression and helps sleep, so win all around.

[@jgw5491]

And about gift etiquette, giving gifts to service workers with whom you have a continuing good relationship is totally fine as long as it isn't something inappropriate like alcohol for someone in recovery or lingerie. I have a friend who worked in a high end salon and these appreciative, wealthy women gave the beauticians gifts many times. A nice xmas gift given after years of help is not incorrect at all. 😊🎁

[@marshawargo7238]

LOTS of people give gifts to "service people" cash, gift cards, cookies all appropriate gifts Are Appreciated!

[@fytrndm]

@@marshawargo7238 Exactly. I always make sure I have gift cards to grocery stores or coffee shops for service workers during the holidays-I had people thank me for the grocery gift card because money was tight for them and they needed food. The fact that the friend didn't think you should appreciate service workers rub me the wrong way.

[@Ashbringer36]

It’s even more conspicious cus there is nothing romantic about it. I can MAYBE see the issue if it was something like flowers and a bottle of wine (but even then if there are literally zero other red flags a bottle of cheap alcohol dosen’t set off red flags either) Or maybe that last part is just me cus one of the regulars at the gas station I worked at brought several assorted bottles for each employee to take one of lol

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@jgw5491 Exactly. I have a lot of medical issues and for Christmas I bought some lollies and made some cookies and made a homemade card for the chemist I go to because they’ve been really helpful with my medications and really helping me when I was struggling trying to sort out my scripts. They absolutely loved it and really appreciated it.

[@pamcauble3755]

Its natural to give a gift to someone who has helped you. I've given gifts to damn near all my daughters therapists a couple weeks ago as a thank you for all the help they've done with her. My daughter is autistic and everyone at her therapy center love working with her

[@Flufferz626]

We had 3 people run the garbage truck on our street growing up. Every Christmas my parents would tape 3 Christmas cards to the lid each with a $20 bill inside. Told me that we would have trash all around us if it wasn't for them. We need to teach more respect for every level of job. My garbage man is more valuable in day to day life for me than a movie star.

[@jaredmorales5130]

I remember giving my bus driver a gift card in 10th grade. No special reason, just wanted to do something for a nice person.

[@Flakey101]

The whole tradition of Boxing day on december 26th evolved from gift giving to trade and service people on the day after Christmas. That one person that said you not give gifts to the "service" does not know what they are talking about.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I always give my "Service People" a Christmas Gift (one of them is even Jewish lol). This includes my mechanic, my attorney, my accountant, my handyman, my kids Taekwondo Instructor, even my UPS guy, (you should have seen the expression on his face when he delivered the package and I told him it was for him and to open it lol), etc. My wife is an RN and used to teach martial arts but because of her illness, she can no longer teach martial arts but she used to get a ton of Christmas gifts from the kids and adults she trained. Granted, she did have to give a couple of the adult gifts back because they were just a tad to inappropriate or bizarre (panties from one guy, another lady gave her a dildo lol) but virtually everyone I know gives their "Service People" aka friends, a gift. I do either their favorite alcohol or a gift basket of fruit, snacks, candies, cookies, etc.

[@jgw5491]

@@Flakey101 I'd forgotten about Boxing Day. That is a tradition of longstanding in the UK and a good one at that!

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

Story #2: it's not disrespectful. If anything it's the most respectful thing OP could do aside from finishing raising fil's daughter in his stead. I'm sure proudly walking sil down the aisle would have the FIL smiling broadly from heaven in thanks that his baby had such a reliable father figure to stand in his place in her life and not make her walk alone.

[@Homewarfare]

Story 1: OP's friends are as dumb as the stalker lol, NTA. Story 2: NTA, op's still saying he'll do it even tho he doesn't since he doesn't want to disrespect the man who turned his life around for the best, like what's wrong with that and just because she doesn't remember him doesn't mean OP has to forget about him like what? The YTA comments were dumb, he said he was doing it but just expressed why he didn't feel comfortable doing it (which was fair as hell).............. HOW DID HE SHIT ON THE IDEA? HE IS DOING IT!!! omg people seem to read but not actually comprehend the words they are reading fully and just piece it together to how they wanna see it.

[@BankruptMonkey]

I LOVE that the injured person got justice! The number of karens verbally and even physically attacking disabled people for daring to be in public while disabled has gone up a ton in the last few years and it makes stressed to leave my house while young and disabled knowing I'll deal with at least one ableist.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: WOW, I didn't even think about a Stalker imposter. And also no, giving gifts to service workers is somewhat normal when they do a good job, especially when they are in the education field or are tutors, to me I don't think we should be shaming people for giving generic gifts to people who do a service for us. Story 2: NAH, This one for the original post feels like 2 sides exist. We have the OP's side which is a boy who got kicked out underage and taken in by the FIL and as such holds FIL in high regard. Then we have the side of Kate, who likely feels like OP and her(Kate's) sister are more parents then her BioParents, since OP and Sis were there for her throughout Kate's life. Neither viewpoint is wrong though, and I think the issue is that OP knew FIL and respects him while Kate never did and feels like OP *IS* her father in essence so she feels like he is rejecting her. They should just talk it out. Story 2 Update: Yep, this is exactly as I expected, Kate view OP as her dad in a way, meanwhile OP held the late father in reverence, talking it out was the right thing. The reason it was NAH was he would still do it but felt hesitant about weighing up to a position he felt he couldn't fill. Story 3: NTA for one simple reason above all others... THERE WAS ALREADY AN OPEN SEAT. and technically the only thing OP would have done is move across to the open seat which would have been pointless. more then likely she is just an entitled person who believes "The youth today are SoOoOo DiSrEsPeCtFuL these days, not giving up a seat for an old lady". Story 3 update: Wow, that was an unexpected twist. And yes grief could be causing her to act out, but she can only be excused if she gets out of grief, apologizes for her behavior, and does not return to this behavior afterwards. Otherwise she is just an AH, grief or not.

[@feraldragon850]

My hubby is a rehab therapist and he gets small gifts. The place where he works even made a policy long as the gifts are $50 or less it's all good. The trainer was acting as a rehab therapist and she was showing her gratitude. I've never heard "No gifts for service workers", you realize that means docs should never get thank you gifts, nor should anyone who does anything for anyone else, including teachers

[@janedoe885]

I appreciate that you showed compassion for OP in story 2 Mark. Think that was a NAH situation. People want there to be a good and bad guy all the time, but sometimes life is just messy.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

Yeah. Not everything is simply black & white, but some people just believe it or don't want to believe it

[@ginathecookie]

@@Pastel_Dreams exactly

[@samuelgeanes4026]

@@Pastel_Dreams Nicely said.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Truer words have never been said.

[@bautistalover]

No it’s mostly immature people who can’t see pass their biases. Definitely a NAH, his feelings are valid but they all dismissed that because all they can see is her feelings.

[@flamelily2086]

Stalkers can be frightening. I heard of one KZbin creator who eventually had to move to another city with her family because of a crazed stalker.

[@dollface2907]

The sad thing is in stories of male stalkers it's taken more serious, the few female stalker stories are all the same where it's not taken to seriously til they do something stupid

[@TsukiKageTora]

So story 1, the wife is so damn insecure that she would rather have her husband lose business and money? OP isn’t the asshole for not ending up switching to someone the gym didn’t recommend her when she said “someone who knows about chronic pain” ETA: stalker is worse in this situation than a wife with insecurities but those friends are damn ridiculous to think she should give up on having the only person who can help her with her chronic pain when working out. “Be in pain, you can’t make other women feel less than themselves when you pay their men for the services they provide. Be in pain, better than a woman feeling insecure!” What a terrible mindset and OP should drop that friend who doubled down instead of apologized, and she should see to a restraining order against the stalker since she not only stalked him but her to the point she knew what she looked like.

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes, op definitely needs better and nicer friends!

[@Ashbringer36]

Hell I’m a fucing gas pump attendant and even I got a small gift from a regular or two, usually the guys whom are so regular you know what they are getting.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA. You weren’t being ‘overly-friendly’ with your trainer; you were being nice to the personal trainer you employed. Story 2: unpopular NAH. Yes, since op basically raised his SIL it makes sense that she wants him to walk her down the aisle but op’s feelings are valid. I think once op thinks it over he’ll realize that he’s basically her father.

[@Ally.81]

Story 1: it is really hard to find the right trainer for you. Also to be honest if you go for so long and see that person weekly maybe 2-3 times a week sometimes you do become like friends cause you end up talking about things and get to know each other. My trainer is married and I have his phone number and Facebook. Why? Because we schedule the sessions through text as he has another job that is a bit unpredictable and Facebook because he posts training videos. Also I do text Merry Christmas and Happy new year. One time I was looking for a math tutor for my kids and he told me his wife was a teacher(not math) and she actually sent me the phone number of a friend of her. Point is trainers or not they are still people and as a co-worker when u spend so much time together you to end up developing a friendship of some kind and I don't see anything wrong even with the gift card. If he will have had a problem he could have always said no thank you.

[@BurroughsProductions]

Idk I think he's the ahole in story. He's worried about disrespecting someone who died 20 yrs ago and what's the alternative? She have no one walk her down?

[@karmageddon9047]

Unpopular NTA. she asked why he hesitated, he answered honestly, and she yelled at him and disregarded how he felt? NTA, an imo, not an NAH moment. she can be upset with his decision, but she has no reason to call him an asshole for how he feels, and he shouldn't lie to appease her.

[@AndyyWithAY]

NGL the stalker caught me by surprise. I know some spouses are overbearing and insecure so I just thought that was the situation

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 3, OP isn't the asshole here. The woman was an entitled person who decided that OPs spot on the bus was to be hers. Even at 40 or 50 years of age, this woman didn't have the right to remove a person with an injury, wether they're 60 or 19. The seat is taken, find another one for Pete's sake. Because you're older than the person sitting there, you have no more rights to the seat then they do. Because she caused a scene, everyone else in the bus will be looking at OP like he did something wrong. OP isn't the asshole here.

[@Poeticfloetic]

*whether *than

[@IKKclauKR]

The third story reminded me of a time when I got into the bus, and I stayed in front of some of the elderly/pregnat/disabled chairs, specifically in front of an old man and a girl who seemed around my age (middle to late 20s) and had her backpack in her lap. In the next stop a woman (probably around her 50s, but seemed to be ok) got in, went to this girl, and told her to give her seat to her because the girl didn't needed it...the girl told her that she did needed it, and then the woman started going about young people disrespecting their elders...so the girl proceeded to remove her backpack and showed her obviously pregnant belly...the woman standed there speechless while the old man and me, started laughing really hard about it......the woman ran away to the back of the bus

[@wmdkitty]

Pregnancy is not a disability, she should have moved.

[@audreym3908]

@@wmdkitty OP stated elderly, PREGNANT, disabled chairs. She had every right to sit there. The older woman may or may not had the right to sit there.

[@carolroberts4614]

Shawna Burt it can be sometimes. Vein problems for instance causing difficulty standing, and lots of other things!

[@Callimo]

​@@wmdkittyI wonder, have you ever been pregnant or have had pregnant family members?

[@AndyyWithAY]

I loved the update to Story 3. I love when horrible people get their due. Maggie has had enough of mama's bs. The mom probably has a habit of lying also

[@thomasjoseph5876]

What's sad is all the hoops this poor guy has to jump thru in order to get surgery for an actual torn ligament. Even a partial tear would benefit from surgery and make the repair actually stronger so it doesn't happen easily again in the future. I had to have my lower back basically rebuilt and the hoops I had to jump thru were crazy (shots, therapy, etc). Now, with another issue in the lower back arising, they just let me go from MRI/Dr. Consult directly to surgery. That's how it should be.

[@pansprayers]

A trainer who understands chronic pain is GOLD. I can promise you that whatever he's getting paid isn't anything near what he's worth. Thank you gifts are a fabulous way to show appreciation.

[@chamomileandcosmos471]

Story 1, OP's friend sounds inconsiderate to OP's pain, thinking giving a gift to the personal trainer is inappropriate. I think it's very thoughtful to give a little gift to people, paid or not, for providing relief for someone's chronic pain. For a much smaller personal example, I was a pet sitter for 3 years. Some of my clients were very nervous leaving their animals with someone while being far away. These clients came to really trust me and it gave them so much peace at mind. They would leave me notes of appreciation and a tip or gift. It always made me feel so appreciated and encouraged me to do my best. This was all from just doing my job and taking it seriously (like all animal care workers should). But some jobs have that nice side-effect. It's very appropriate to show appreciation when those good things arise from someone's service. If we need anything in this world, it's sharing appreciation and kindness.

[@carolroberts4614]

At one time in the UK the tradition was to give a Christmas tip to all service people. The milkman, paperboy/girl, coalman,breadman and postman! Oh, and in the late fifties when I was a small chi ld, a bag of carrots for the milkman's horse 🐎!

[@carolroberts4614]

Forgot the dustmen!

[@wheelsndealz]

Story 2. You kinda hit the nail on the head, why I hate the AITA system. Because someone being wrong doesn't mean they're an asshole. So if they were just saying YTA because that's what the sub calls for in judgement that really sounds wrong. He's not an asshole for feeling that way and the people railing on him for it sound like assholes themselves.

[@Mr.2Dirty]

Man it’s not even that. There was one cat that gave NAH, so all those jackasses are just shittin on this dude for no reason other than to be jackasses.

[@philwill0123]

My only thing would be, who did OP think would accompany her down the aisle? Her with a pic of her dad? I think there is a point were OP have idolised FIL to a point where the option was "noone". To be asked like that is an honour and OP overthought it to a point where it insults the girl. Overall NAH. Grief is complex and there is some latent grief issues at play.

[@samuelgeanes4026]

​@@philwill0123 Yea, not all of these stories are black and white, however I do empathize with OP and kinda dislike the people just bashing him.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 3- the seats are reserved for elderly AND disabled aren't they? NTA. Hope OP has a speedy recovery.

[@melanellie_art]

9:29 “I just feel like the wrong person to do it” Unfortunately the “right” person to do it is dead. This girl has known you as her male parental figure for the majority of her life and by all measures you are indeed her father. The only disrespect would be to make her walk alone. Maybe carry a framed photo of FIL to acknowledge him, but that decision has to be up to the bride. Don’t hurt the living to honor the dead.

[@meredithchapman2009]

Right… her parents are dead. It’s not like they are alive and she is banning them from her wedding. It is not disrespectful. Theirs two have a skewed view of what is and is t appropriate.

[@danedee6563]

People on Reddit Seriously lack reading comprehension. Unpopular opinion for story 2: SIL is the AH. Op made it clear he does not feel comfortable with the idea but will do it for her. That was it for me. He made it clear he doesn’t like the idea because he has a right to feel the way he does but sympathized enough with SIL to do her that favor. SIL overreacted and made an issue out of nothing. If OP said he wouldn’t do it at all then that would be one thing but he literally said “I’ll do it for you”! is that not what she wanted?

[@BurroughsProductions]

Ops Def the ahole in sorry 2. Like who else is going to walk her if not the man who raised her? Ops letting his own issues effect the girl he raised.

[@samuelgeanes4026]

@@BurroughsProductions Honestly, asshole is way too strong of a word here. He is obviously still grieving the loss of a great man in his life and is now realizing that some of the things that late FIL was going to do he will have to step up and do it. It's a really sad story with a heartwarming end and im glad OP was able to step up and follow in his FIL's footsteps.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

@@danedee6563 you're wrong... OP is just being a fucking weirdo about the hero worship of FIL trying to force that falsely onto his SIL who only knows OP in that role. FIL gave him the example & tools to do right (which he did) then OP needs to carry that Honor himself

[@NotWorthBeans16]

Story 2: I completely understand the concern of thinking you are replacing the parent. You are definitely worthy of this request when you took that little girl in. If it helps what my husband and I did at our wedding was make a small remembrance table for our relatives who had passed. I.e. our grandparents, very close friends, etc. It was a way to say we wished they were there and pay respects. Maybe propose that to your sil so that you can feel like your fil is with you in some way.

[@minagica]

That is so touching about the raised daughter and the BIL "dad" that raised her. It's so adorable, both people just have different sets of memories and thus different points of view and emotions that are both valid and they "just" need to, well, handle them and face their peculiar reality's quirks, tragedies and silver linings 🤷‍♀️

[@samuelgeanes4026]

Very nicely said

[@sierrasasmartass7755]

Story 1 NTA. In general, a person's partner/so shouldn't come into their workplace and harass their clients. It can reflect negatively on the person who works there and runs the risk of them losing their job. The fact that it's a stalker just makes it worse because on top of now knowing this person knows where they work, when they're at work, who their regular clients are, etc...is so unnerving and depending on management could cause those in charge to decide it's too risky/uncomfortable to be employing someone with that kind of issue going on.

[@Pastel_Dreams]

1st Story: NTA. What are the odds that the first redditor was right about the lady being a crazy stalker? 😂 2nd Story: Rare NAH. OP and his wife are not to blame to feel as though they are disrespecting the memory of the wife's late parents. The SIL is not in the wrong for wanting the people that stepped up to become her second family to have the most important roles on her & her fiance's special day.

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

Story #3: not the butt. Being old doesn't make being entitled right. I actually made a long distance bus trip with my daughter once and aside from 1 of the buses we sat directly behind the handicap seating because while I am disabled my minor daughter isn't. The one time we sat in handicap seating the bus was full and I was the only handicap person there that time. Just a bit of info to explain why I feel this event was relevant in reference to my response to OP's story. I have a barrage of braces and a walker that had to be stored under the bus. I wasn't entitled to take up 2 handicap seats (in my opinion) because I had my able bodied minor daughter with me so I sat a seat further back. If I could do that there's no reason an elderly person can't sit across the aisle from OP instead of trying to take OP's seat. ETA: I was 41 at that time however one of my conditions caused my bones, joints and organs to age very quickly so at that point tests & imaging had already dated me to be in my mid 80's internally. So yes I a now 43 year old woman can fully understand what it feels like to be a woman in their 80's with medical ailments. The older lady was being an entitled idiot simple as that.

[@Swnsasy]

I have no idea what kinda friends OP has to say, oh yea YOUR FAULT.. Wait, her fault for using an employee at the person's JOB? Glad things worked out and I REALLY hope the PT is safe though!! A Stalker can be an extremely scary thing and I hope it doesn't turn out to a deadly kind...

[@valh889]

For Story 1: Wow, it's incredible that a Redditor was able to deduce that the woman who got mad at OP was a stalker! Def NTA, and I'm glad that stalker woman got figured out before something worse happened

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 1: My mother delivered newspapers for years. Every year during the holidays, she got many cards, tips, and even gift cards from her customers. These weren't people trying to get with her, they were just kind people showing their appreciation for her hard work.

[@emasters8619]

Story 1: The friend who said not to give gifts to service workers is one of those people I hate as a client. A thank you note and a tip is always welcome, especially with longterm clients. She was probably the one who doubled down after everything came to light and will now lose op's friendship

[@darkshadow5581]

Story 2 NTA. Sounds like OP said yes, but just felt bad that their father figure was unable to walk down their daughter down the aisle, despite wanting to. It doesn't sound crazy to me for OP to be saddened, and Kate specifically asked.

[@TsukiKageTora]

He said yes and all the “Y-T-A” comments were like thinking he downright said no. This is why I think people on the subreddit aren’t right for judging crap if they can’t even read the story correctly before latching on an assumption they made

[@samuelgeanes4026]

@@TsukiKageTora Exactly, this is why I never take reddit comments especially tough judgement ones at face value. With these types of tough and heartbreaking situations, people try and make sense of it all by putting it into simple black and white terms when the majority of the time it goes deeper than into the grey area.

[@AllistorMichelle]

story1: "no one gives cards to service people" Excuse you, my grandmother baked cookies for the people who worked on her house. we sent a Christmas cards both to our landlord and my dads home nurse. NTA op

[@LOLtz1]

Story 2: This is not a NTA or YTA situation; this is about a guy who doesn't feel like he living up to the image of his Father-in-law he made. So calling him the YTA disingitious to the situation.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 3: OP qualified for that seat and that Karen was hostile right out of the gate. Sure, he might have not covered the crutches with his coat, but that's beside the point.

[@strawhatcass5848]

My coworkers ex gf calls and says she's his wife or shows up at our workplace. Had to call the cops to get her to leave a few weeks ago. This kind of thing really does happen more than you might think.

[@alyzu4755]

Story 1: OP needs new friends. People ALWAYS give gifts/tips to "service personnel". 🙄 Especially at the holidays. Story 2: Not the AH. This made me so sad. He didn't feel worthy. I'm glad they talked and worked it out. Story 3: OMG, definitely NOT the AH! OP has a temporary disability. That woman found another seat, don't know what her problem is. Update: Ah! She's a Karen! Amazing that her daughter turned out so well. Probably takes after her dad. ☺️ Happy New Year! 🎉

[@bluebeanie561]

Second Story: Feel sorry for OP that once asked on what's wrong and told his feelings, instead of being an adult about with a calm manner, the SIL flip her shit. B, he said he would but doesn't make his feelings that it is wrong to him fade with your tantrum.

[@kdcats4092]

I cannot imagine many 24 year old girls who would be mature enough to handle having the man who raised her since she was 4 years old telling her that yes he would walk her down the aisle but no he didnt want to and didnt feel like a father to her. That would hurt like hell at any age to be denied a father/ daughter bond with the only father she remembered

[@restinwalken]

More ESH but OP is an AH. What most people are failing to see is yes OP feelings are valid. But Kate was 4years old when her bio parents died. She does not know them. She was than taken in an raised by her sister and her BIL. Kate's sister and brother in law are more parent than siblings to her. Kate most likely thinks of their bio parents the way may think about grandparents who die when they where young. Family they love hearing stories about but are people they will never know. They are sad they missed knowing them but you can't make a relationship with a dead person, sorry it just doesn't workm. So yeah OP and wife(Kate's sister) are Kate's Parents not her siblings. An OP basically just said I'm not your dad. When she was trying to give him a highly important role. Saying she values him as her an equal to a bio father. An obviously from her reaction more of a father than bio dad as she doesn't even remember bio dad. Yeah this suck for OP and wife(sister). Because the realisation that her mom and dad a ghost to Kate. She does not know them outside or stories. An has given their role in her(Kate's)life to her BIL and sister. This situation sucks. OP handle this worst than a 24 whom he raised. Getting upset that her parents basically rejected her.

[@samuelgeanes4026]

@@restinwalken Asshole is not even the right term here, it's way too harsh. There are a lot of tough feelings in this whole situation, so I try and look at it from both sides. While OP is the only parent SIL knows, she should also understand that she has a former parent who died. Not only was this man her father (BIOLOGICALLY) he also, most importantly, played a significant role in OP's life. At her age, she should understand what OP has gone through and what asking him to do this means. This by no means makes the SIL the antagonist, however she should be more empathetic on how OP is feeling. OP did not say that he's not her dad, in fact if you read the story, he was willing to go along with it if it made SIL happy, all OP wanted was to make sure this was the right decision. He was going to do it anyway regardless of what SIL said, he just had some doubt and he wanted to clear it up before going through with it. I feel for OP as well, he lost a great person whom he was very close to, you don't just get over that, I know it's been over 10 years, but grief can take years or even decades to get over. I'm kinda sad that some people were bashing him for even having a smidge of doubt on something that wasn't even his to start with, FIL died and it's obvious OP still hasn't gotten over it 10+ years later, he had to take on a role which he didn't even feel he was worthy of, and people have the audacity to bash him about have doubt and seeking advice for it. What this man needed was people who understand what he went through and could empathize with him. However, I'm glad things all worked out for him and SIL and I hope OP doesn't doubt his ability anymore to be a good father to this young lady.

[@adollahfiddy1015]

I’m actually really surprised that the gym gave a client that kind of information. Having a stalker is a very precarious situation and I really can’t see a gym just giving out that info.

[@emo7636]

That 2nd story made me laugh a bit at some of the comments. This 'lovely young lady' made me cackle. She gave her family members 'roles for her wedding' as Xmas gifts, and then threw a hissy fit and screamed at this guy when he asked a seemingly heartfelt question, such a 'lovely young lady' right.

[@BitterSimplicity]

Story 3: NTA. I had an old lady snap at me for not moving out of the standing area on the bus. Literally walked up to me (with a walker) and said, "Are you gonna move??" I was so baffled that I just sat down in the empty seat a couple feet away. Some people are just freaking entitled.

[@Hilaryous25]

Your empathy is one of the main reasons I like listening to your narrations. A little more kindness and understanding in the world is never a bad thing.

[@samuelgeanes4026]

Yea me too, when I would listen to other channels that didn't put their input, I would always think I was wrong for empathizing with someone in a no so black and white story like story 2. However, his empathetic views really make me see things from a different perspective and make me confident in my initial opinion and standpoint.

[@Davtwan]

“Nobody gives gifts to ‘service people??’” I’d force that friend into a retail job and see if she thinks the same.

[@Eirilyn]

Service people love to receive a token of appreciation. A card is a lovely gesture

[@pourpeopledrinks]

story 1 -- her friend is the asshole because you absolutely do give gifts to service people, especially if theyve provided a literally life-changing service. we give apples to teachers (an outdated example, but theyre technically service workers), at the start of the panorama we gave gifts to health service workers, and every year my mom taught me to give holiday gifts to the mailman. this is super common and if you appreciate someone, showing them through a kind gesture can make their entire year. we (service workers) get mistreated so often that honestly even the littlest gestures (a good review with your name mentioned on yelp/google reviews, an above-average tip, a book or gift card) is so outrageously appreciated that, when it happens to me, I often get emotional about it. also, OP didnt even have his phone number. she obviously hasnt crossed a line lmao

[@sharvanims9733]

In Story 1, OP should get a new set of friends.

[@oceanpuddle6439]

Mark should always be unapologetically empathetic, just be sure he doesn’t become a doormat 🥰

[@damien678]

man it honestly hurts to hear ya get hate for being understanding and compassionate, because those are some of the best qualities I see in your videos, vibes, and why I come back to watch ya like you talking about how grief is different for everyone, and you just mentioning how some disabilities are invisible, is genuinely so nice to hear

[@searchfield]

As a disabled person I would like to say that temporarily disabled is STILL DISABLED.. you're not magically in less pain or more able to stand and move just because at some point in the future it may get better! Also, no-one should question if you really need that seat, they do not know your story. Anyone may ask you to move but if you say "no, sorry, I need this seat" then the person who asked has to sit somewhere else OR get off the bus(like a wheelchair user would have to if they got on a bus and found there was already a wheelchair in the designated space) Someone sitting down on the bus of any age may be in danger if you make them stand and they are too weak/dizzy/in pain. There is a good chance that the other people on the bus were glaring at HER for being so rude, especially as there were other seats available.

[@digitalharmony26]

As a 23yo who has been dealing with chronic pain for a decade now, I feel for crutches guy. I’m so sick of not being taken seriously when I’m out in public on days I should be bedridden but needed to leave the house. It’s frustrating feeling like I have to explain myself and share my medical history. I don’t, because they don’t deserve to know, but the expectation of me carrying my diagnosis around in case anyone doesn’t believe me sucks.

[@blackrosebud2331]

Story 1: absolutely nta there is no reason for you to switch trainers also The comment where Opie said their friend said that you don’t give gifts to service people I work at a hair salon and people bring Christmas presents to the stylists all the time for the holidays, sometimes regular customers will buy all of us coffee

[@Jenifer_R_]

"You don't give gifts to service people". Yes, I'm guessing her friends would never lower themselves to fraternize with 'the help'.

[@ferretunicorn838]

My aunt is a dog groomer and her clients give her gifts all the time. I feel like when you work closely with service people it’s different. It’s not like you’re giving it to a waitress you met once.

[@kristys7172]

We have an occupational therapist that has worked with us for 2 years now, we give Christmas gifts to all the service ppl in our lives.

[@jennilynne1977]

Yay! Stories from Mark! I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace, hugs and love to everyone!

[@carolroberts4614]

Same to you Jenni, hope you've had a good Christmas!

[@salomerodriguez5145]

The friend who doubled down is probably the same that said you don't give gifts to service people. I cringed at that...

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark.. STAY SAFE PLEASE PEACE

[@RobertCampsall]

Walking aisle: what's bizarre about OP's viewpoint is who the hell should walk her down the aisle if not OP?

[@starrhunter633]

Story one got me when OP's friends said you don't give gifts to hired help. That is crazy to me .

[@jackspring7709]

NTA: And how nice of your "friends" to say what they said when they don't experience the pain you are suffering.

[@jessicawaldeback]

Mark, I have to commend you for trying to see the stories from both sides, and from an empathetic point of view. You often mention your background, of being bullied in school. Well I was as well, from age 7 to age 11 when I simply refused to return to that school. One of my bullies was a boy in my class. He seemed to have like a boatload of siblings, living with only his dad who was a janitor in our school. His mom had died of cancer during his formative years. I can’t imagine it being an easy situation for my former bully or his family. The guy could be nice at times so it wasn’t all bad. He acted out a lot but I can’t imagine his background and home life affecting his way of acting among peers in school. Then his father died of cancer as well during his teenage years. I actually talked with him on the phone a few years after graduating high school. We must have been about 20 years old during that phone call. I’m 36 now so my memory is foggy. He had turned his life around and apologised for how he had treated me while we went to the same school some 10+ years before.

[@audreym3908]

Character development, got to love it😊

[@samuelgeanes4026]

Wow that's very heartwarming.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 2- absolutely NTA. He’s a good man who felt he was disrespecting the memory of a man he, essentially idolized. He’s allowed to feel a certain way. He said he would do it, he just felt “ funny “ about it.

[@courtneymaxwell4652]

To the friend who said people don’t give gifts to service workers is so wrong. I’m a massage therapist and I get tons of gifts around Christmas! It’s always so appreciated! And if my husband did something like this we would have big issues at home! 😬

[@ms.andeedill280]

It's quite common to give "gifts" or "tips" to service providers. My friend runs a pet sitting/walking business and his first Christmas his clients gave him a small gift and wages for a week (extra week's pay). Delivery people also have been known to receive gifts. I remember giving gifts to teachers during my school years which continued until my daughter finished school Great video!

[@ThiccOgreBoi69]

😂 i love how at the end of the third story, Mark was immediately like "i ship OP and Maggie" that was adorable

[@AndyyWithAY]

The dad has been dead for a long time and he took the sister when she was an orphan. If I were Kate I'd be devestated by OP's reaction and would lash out too. The dad is dead, so is Kate just supposed to walk down the aisle alone??

[@darkshadow5581]

OP said they would though. I don't think it's crazy to feel saddened that the person who gave you your entire life effectively isn't alive to do for Kate what he did for OP's wife. It seems to me similar to people mourning they couldn't have their parent at their wedding, and it's not like OP refused. He said yes, and Kate specifically asked OP about it.

[@NotWorthBeans16]

Story 1: Definitely NTA. I have to interject one thing, the friend who said it's weird to give "service people" thank you cards or gifts is an idiot. My family has owned a business for over 70 years. We get Christmas cards from former employees and customers my grandparents and parents became friends with over the years. It's not weird to give people you've become friendly with gifts regardless if work status. It's not a sign you wanna bang them, it's literally just saying "thank you for your help".

[@genayeburton3000]

Story 1:OP needs new friends

[@kimmywimmy7305]

Story 2, I don’t think it’s about disrespecting his FIL. I think it’s grief over the loss he still feels.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: NTA - As someone who has worked in service positions, it's extremely touching to have a client give an extra recognition like that. If his wife has a problem with it, it's naught to do with you - it's between them as a couple. Assuming this actually was his wife, she had no business approaching his client in his place of work. Had she caught you at a hotel, that would be different, but it sounds like everything is above board here.

[@sandragarner2912]

Father of the bride: Stand ins are often used when a dad has passed. It is quite normal. Many even walk the bride while holding a picture of the father. Take it as a compliment. Appreciate that she loves you, and even enough to give you this honor.

[@waitingfortheprinter8030]

‘See you on just no mother in law’ Killed me 😂

[@red0421]

Story 3 Update Just love how Mark is like "I ship it" 😆

[@Silence-1170]

Good afternoon all of you waffles! Wishing you a great Tuesday. I'm getting fillings in a few hours so that's that. Again wishing you all well!

[@AryonaSamoto]

I completely agree with you about empathy. I see things in shades of grey. In my opinion there is always a reason for a behavior and it helps to move past others treatment of us when we have an explanation.

[@HexStaria]

It’s very common for people to gift stuff to workers who they see often. Such as garbage workers. They get so much stuff from people that the workers give stuff to the people in their office.

[@tovelokiwifeodindottir9936]

Story 1 NTA and to the friend who said "people don't give service works gift" bullshit. As a fast food manager do you know how many regulars have given me gifts over the years? My mom is a nurse and at least twice a month my mom has come home with a gift from patients. Hell my husband who is a mechanic received a very expensive bottle of wine from a regular client. Smdh. Nothing wrong with showing appreciation to those that provide a service. Especially these days when service workers are working ourselves into the grave due to short staffing, just to keep services open. There are weeks I can easily work 90+ hours. We also get shit on for slow service when we can't help it. So please appreciate those of us in the service industry we are doing our best to stay open for you all. Thank your fast food worker who is probably running more positions then what you see and most likely hasn't had a day off in 8-9 days while working 8-12 hour shifts without being able to take a proper brake.

[@LeeFoUnchained]

#2 he did the same thing for her that the FIL did for for him. In FIL's absence, I would say that he fits the bill perfectly.

[@KittenUndercover]

My trainers girlfriend would laugh her ass off at that first story. I think I’ll send her a link.

[@memyselfandi7782]

Lol. Maggie really hammered down in story 3

[@warpthumr47]

Story 2 - Who else could OP's SIL ask to walk her down the aisle? He IS her surrogate father & her sister IS her surrogate mother. I get that OP doesn't feel like he measures up to his FIL but he has put his FIL on a pedestal that's a bit unrealistic. Also, his FIL 100% would want OP to stand in 4 him bc he obviously thought highly of him as well. Story 3 - late 40s, early 50s isn't elderly. It's middle aged & Maggie's mother is a biyotch. I'm an RN & an ACL tear is a serious & painful injury.

[@arleneclark6369]

As a woman in her mid 50's we don't claim this lazy lady, I have no problem standing on a bus, his disability is none of her business.

[@KCCAT5]

I so miss the two-story a day routine Mark had before the holidays. I would put the two videos on while I was cooking breakfast and having breakfast now I'm down to one story and it makes me sad

[@carolroberts4614]

Me too! I keep searching hopefully in case I 've missed one!

[@nobinary2296]

To answer how common stalking is. I have had four. All were online. The most terrifying thing? I never even gave them my personal info. One even knew my gender and I never even mentioned it or had it on my profile. Two of them were obviously child predators. The third was a creep who acted like they knew me despite us never having talked before. I kept them talking and checked their profile. We hadn't even friended each other and yet they were somehow able to private message me despite it being a friend only feature. The fourth one was the most terrifying, because it was someone I had trusted and built a friendship with. I hadn't realized how toxic they were or anything until I got a chill when they mentioned my real name. We had only ever gone by our online names. It seemed to snap me out of it. I began doubting their sad life stories. Noticing I was apologizing for normal things. Like going to the bathroom, sleeping, or spending time with friends and family. It got worse when they one day revealed they knew what state I lived in. That was when I had enough and blocked them. Put my profile on hidden and it stayed that way for a really long time. So yeah. It's a lot more common than you think. I know people who have been stalked in person as well as I went to a support group. I'm just glad the guy from the first story has a good support group has good friends and coworkers who support him. Most people laugh at men when they say they have one. So I am glad it didn't turn out like that.

[@paganskye452]

"Noone gives gifts to setvice people" untrue. I always give gifts to service people at the Christmas holidays. It's a way to show appreciation for the jobs the do and services they provide

[@inthewindago]

First story. I’m a bartender at a place with a strong regular customer base. I got cards with well wishes, gift cards, cash, gift baskets, and chocolates from some of my customers for Christmas. I never really expect anything from my customers. But am super grateful for anything they give me. Even the simple well wishes. Also, I two am a chronic pain sufferer that employees a trainer to help me with it. So I completely understand how grateful you can be for their help. I lost my trainer over the pandemic (just quit, anti-vaxer) and my new one is good. But I don’t know her well enough to get her a present yet. I’m sure by next year we will be their. Lol.

[@mariajw4803]

It's quite common to give gifts to service workers. From small gifts like cards and chocolate to a little bigger like flowers, presents, coffe and cake, jewelery, gift cards etc and then for roofers you through a party.

[@diamcole]

Story 2: NAH. OP’s feelings make perfect sense, also makes sense that Kate would be hurt. I’m glad they were able to work things out and shame on some of the comments tearing into him - his heart was in the right place.

[@zerobolt9506]

Also have a happy new year 🎉 😊 to Mark & everyone else

[@Sh1n1gam1cat]

Story 1; NTA I've been going to the gym for like 3 years with my own PT. Every year I give them a bottle of their fav alcohol as a "Thanks for putting up with my dumbass" thing. It's not something I have to do, but I like doing it and they appreciate it.

[@shanittathompson2039]

Story 2...NTA...HE SAID HE WOULD DO IT, HE WAS JUST APPREHENSIVE ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WASN'T HIS RIGHT!! FFS CHILL TF OUT!!!

[@carolroberts4614]

You're absolutely right!Poor guy confused in Kate when she asked him what was wrong and she blew his head off! At least they sorted it out, but all these people saying he refused when he didn't.....I don't know...

[@sammyk.6457]

“Nobody gives gifts to service people.” What? No that’s not true, my mom works for the USPS and she got so many gifts and tips over the holidays that she was giving away the chocolates and other candies at our christmas party.

[@TraceyBoyland]

Why do "friends" always say you're wrong. In situations where OP is being attacked, harassed, mistreated. ? Keep the trainer ditch the "friends"

[@youshallnotpass112]

Story 1: it astonished me how little respect the wife has for Alex and his place of work. That stunt 100% could have gotten Alex in trouble. She should know to respect her husband's professional boundaries. You gave a gift of appreciation, which many professionals get. 100% not the asshole.

[@maniaemagna]

Story 1: NTA. Also it's not unusual to give gifts to employees in the service industry.

[@ameliahill8273]

Story 3, on some days my mobility is down the drain (yay chronic pain) i've been told to move before when i've had my cane. People are blind when they think they have a right to something.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - NTA. I think maybe comments and reflection helped OP realize that he could still honor the now-gone FIL he idolized while walking SIL down the aisle. It's lovely that he can wear FIL's watch so that, in some way, he'll be with them. Lovely.

[@sharonconnolly3820]

Never accept the blame for a SO insecurity. Someone's marriage is not your business. A tip of appreciation is not out of the ordinary.

[@zerobolt9506]

Mark you got me cry with story 2 😢