My Secret Bidet

[@avocados9110]

“The discreet bidet” *dial labelled “water pressure” sticks directly out of toilet*

[@MegaVikingen]

Yeah I feel like a lot infomercials, including several that Charlie have reviewed, use the word "discreet" really generously. They call it discreet even if it's large, chunky and has the product name written at the front. Like the portable toilet seat cover he featured in another video, the "discreet, handy carrying bag" was bright red and had the word "potty" written on it as part of the product name.

[@MasterCrash123]

*Friend sitting on toilet; notices dial labelled "water pressure"* "Hmm, what's this?" *Turns dial; gets shot through the ceiling*

[@motazfawzi2504]

Anyone would assume it's for the flush! Edit: I'm Sarcastic

[@resphantom]

It's as discreet as the sound a person would make while a piece of their skin is getting blasted away on their ass.

[@yvrelna]

I think they call it "secret" because the spray head hides when it's not in use. Not because the bidet itself is meant to be hidden.

[@alexlyson3376]

"Get a second bidet! Just pay separate fee!" So like..... just buying two then.

[@XxRileyxX42]

imagine having Poseidon fuckin water hose your asshole

[@Matrix11BS]

@@XxRileyxX42 *Moans*

[@gothica3605]

@@Matrix11BS lmao

[@kefa5456]

@@Matrix11BS n o

[@Ledut-in-YT]

@@kefa5456 *Y E S*

[@alfiewillis4893]

You really missed an opportunity to call it a "weapon of ass destruction".

[@AtheistGamerz]

Damn and i thought i was being clever when I commented that :(

[@MrAlwaysRight]

@@AtheistGamerz nah you're probably just a comment thief.

[@ThirdEyeThriving]

@@MrAlwaysRight is that a thing? Anal

[@yeahimagamer2740]

A weapon to surp'ass' metal gear

[@JV-cw8pw]

Michael Lacy nigga what in the fuck are you saying? Weird ass

[@artwithlavi206]

We wound up getting a bidet during quarantine. 1000% recommend. That being said... most bidet attachments come with a dial that doesn't really keep human limitations in mind. On the low end you have a perfect clean and on the high end you have Piccolo shooting Goku through the chest with his Special Beam Cannon.

[@aniket8350]

😂😂😂😭I can't stop laughing at that analogy

[@harambe9461]

I have permanent damage on my anus from using a bidet, but atleast I’m clean

[@legoyoda645]

Yeah the bidets make bathroom time a lot shorter but I don’t want the water equivalent of a cannon shooting my bum

[@tankhead2645]

Listen, bidets sound convenient, but I dont want a water shooting attachment aimed directly at my pooper that can be ramped up to have the power and velocity of a firehose

[@artwithlavi206]

@tank head However, it would give you a tactical advantage against your enemy. Invite them over to your abode as a peace offering, load them up on Taco Bell, hype up the life-changing magic of the bidet, give them misinformation about how to use said bidet, then wait. As Sun Tzu probably said: "All warfare is based on deceptively benign toilet accessories."

[@oabagobaaaoooo]

Its 3 in 1. Its a bidet, a fire hose and a medieval torture machine

[@longdongdaddyfromcincinnat9083]

epic gamer and a drinking water fountain

[@MiraSubieGirl]

I just came here to see wtf "bidet" means in English. Not a word I see written much.

[@zerotheliger]

not gonna lie i have one not this one but damn has it saved me tons of money from not buying shit tickets anymore. im atleast glad these are starting to catch on.

[@people6117]

Should I jack off.

[@germanoschefo]

^you can use it as high pressure cleaner

[@burgerdiverbanandodansparc9154]

"This Secret Bidet is a weapon of ASS destruction." there ya go, fixed it.

[@jcnot9712]

I think he deliberately skipped out on going for that pun. And I think he's a hero for that.

[@paarahful]

+JC Not nah, sometimes the most obvious escapes us

[@jcnot9712]

Paarah With how rigorously scripted his commentary is I think it unlikely though.

[@hahafunni4807]

Daniel Scharn The Secret Bidet is a weapon of ASS Awesome Super Soaker

[@supportbrah4912]

m-ass destruction HOOYEA! DADUNADUHDUHDADUHDADUHDA BABEH BABEH HADUHDADUDA DADUDADUDA

[@tinytim8173]

I often shit blue sticky residue I will definitely be buying this

[@Jonny-xq5cb]

No one asked you papa smurf

[@LedgeTears377]

Jonny 5 Stop trying to be funny, you aren’t.

[@asylumrain]

SmolKeanuReeves says the one with that username.

[@Jonny-xq5cb]

@@asylumrain thanks for having my back bro 😂

[@glorifiedtoasterwithlegs2294]

SmolKeanuReeves ah yes, the classic mom’s basement

[@ysjrrodriguez4171]

*My secret bidet took the child's innocence*

[@kaiser7087]

Oh no

[@babyturtleshoe8451]

Oh no

[@hash9656]

Oh no

[@ohno4865]

Oh no

[@DrNJ-km3tt]

Oh yeah

[@jaaduuniverse5385]

Imagine you're peeing and the toilet pees back

[@dontworryaboutnol]

JAADU Universe HAHAHAHAHAH

[@Jackrmcmannerson]

JAADU Universe I was having a good day we where all having a good day

[@BeaudoinMotorsports]

I'm choking that was so funny hahahahahaha

[@pootpootfart]

With the power of 1000 tsunami's.

[@jakethesnekk]

Hard flex

[@user-njyzcip]

Jokes on you people are actually fighting for toilet paper now

[@ariavachier-lagravech.6910]

Imagine using Bidet. This post was made by East Asia and Southeast Asia gang

[@eddie6spd199]

Noooo😂😂

[@user-njyzcip]

@@ariavachier-lagravech.6910 Japanese toilets are better tho

[@ariavachier-lagravech.6910]

@@user-njyzcip I made a mistake i meant to say "imagine using toilet papers" since i am from ASEAN lol.

[@3starperfectdeer233]

Fingy in the bum bum is only reserved for Monday nights and I dont want shit on my hand so gram gram is going to get a fist to those fake dentures so I can clean myself properly

[@kaimast5748]

"toilet not included"

[@diecuck1694]

Shit

[@KriticalHD69]

Bullshit give me my toilet

[@enderdragyn]

god damn it

[@nannerdunlocke1231]

No shit, sonny!

[@mksmike]

When some of your potential customers are people that sue others for a living...

[@emotionallyunstableandfill2497]

It's funny how colourful his vocabulary is, but he says all of it in the most monotonous voice ever.

[@RedRoseSeptember22]

Monotone lol.

[@BoomShard17]

@@RedRoseSeptember22 "monotonous" is right in this situation

[@BoomShard17]

You said what I was thinking

[@TheGameChallenger]

80% of this man's vocabulary is dirty humor, if there were a way to measure it like with intoxication, he would be high.

[@whimsabo]

@@TheGameChallenger he can go sfw too

[@Arvac]

4:51 " *tOiLeT nOt InClUdEd* " ah man, i was hoping for a 20 dollar toilet. AWW AND I COULD GET TWO TOILETS FOR $20

[@benbox47]

3Dpopout I can see exactly where you came back to this comment with the edit 😂

[@vibez_reaper_2817]

No u could get it for 20 and the separate fee

[@louiscostanzo5595]

*Local Boy Kills 112 Classmates Using Toilet Attachment Product*

[@clapnonyabusnis2684]

Top Keksis 69

[@dachanel2076]

Nice

[@DetectiveNyx]

don't come to the bathroom tomorrow

[@arctyze]

Why did I laugh at this.

[@arnepolli5871]

In Germany this is the ambulances phone number

[@N00BSYBORG]

I'd never get a bidet because I'm worried I'd enjoy it too much.

[@killerfrenchy]

you just gotta embrace the butt pleasure sometimes

[@theringwoodbros]

killerfrenchy alright then sigmund freud

[@SpectralUmbreon197]

I'll embrace the enema

[@robbiefreakingrottenboi7701]

well if critical makes a video on it,then it's obviously pleasurful in every way

[@Krynictrace]

Either way, the floor is getting covered in liquids. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@Great_Lake_Surfer]

Imagine you're drunk and puke in your friends toilet, not knowing that the vomit water's about to spray your face

[@RedRoseSeptember22]

LMFAO!!!

[@elliottmayer-yeager8087]

Omg 😂😂😂😂

[@Eisenwulf666]

My kind of girl 😁

[@wiktor3453]

I know it's a joke but some people here sound like they have absolutely no idea how a bidet works

[@paradise_valley]

That’s not exactly how a bidet works, unless it’s those Japanese ones with a sink on top recycling water, but I’ll take it.

[@emerson8514]

“ I swear hank it’s so I can drift.” 🤣

[@kenc5999]

French Toastman That and the key blade from Kingdom Hearts were my favorite

[@epicdeadalus4345]

Smashing!

[@achilleaustin]

Tokyo drift reference lmao

[@hurusan41]

Same I'm dead XD

[@Flipindabird23]

I too watched the video. Like.

[@Skillzerk]

Getting it for a home defense system.

[@shkmru3]

Skillzerk it sure keeps brown stuff away, and now I apologize for that racist joke.

[@nicholasreed631]

this would be perfect for metal gear survive!

[@sick983]

Tired of those damn homeless people trying to shit in my house.

[@shovel4prez492]

With my secret bidet you won’t have a house

[@twilitestar96]

this should be pinned lol

[@fosterthearctic]

this product is great for us art students who shit out oil paints and pee out watercolour paints.

[@mfitzburger5137]

When we're aroused, our genitals secrete our parents disappointment.

[@BlumenCT]

i know i get turned on thinking about how i dont have a job

[@depressedcheems9961]

Whatever floats your ass......I.....I meant boat.

[@dickuskickus6010]

Logan Barnlund if your Japanese whatever sinks your boat

[@depressedcheems9961]

zohi kayden I have German ancestry, so whatever fills your chamber.

[@Shnozzler]

This actually a good idea. Most of the typical Japanese toilets have bidet functions, and they work out impressively.

[@EnderElohim]

You can't find a toilet without bidet in Turkey Even older version toilet nowadays people don't use anymore you still use water. I didnt know american use toilet paper to clean poop. WE only use toilet paper to dry XD

[@danitho]

@@EnderElohim It's not rocket science though. You just wipe your ass

[@corywashington9580]

@@EnderElohim One of my friends told me this as well. I installed a bidet recently and it is honestly life-changing. I'm not sure why it isn't standard in the US

[@EnderElohim]

@@corywashington9580 from my perspective i can safely say it must be something to do with toilet paper companies at this point :D I wanna move to America and if i can manage to do that i would certainty gonna spread bidets to everybody there i can reach too :D

[@edrispro]

Ngl, since I've experienced Japanese toilets, there was no going back.

[@thelawyerdoggo]

heated toilet seat are the shit.

[@snoogkies]

the lawyer doggo Literally.

[@Thejigholeman]

They said bidets were foolish. Then all the karens ran out to buy all the toilet paper. Now i laugh as my booty becomes nice and clean.

[@Thejigholeman]

@GrungeKid_27 and when you wash your hands the sink takes a piss on your hands.

[@Thejigholeman]

@Chairgamer Pogger that's a spicy icon you got there , m8.

[@rudyrhyner5842]

What a neat drinking fountain no longer do I have to stick my head in to get a drink incredible the technology that’s coming out nowadays.

[@LazionLove]

How pets see this as but they would get decimated by that water pressure

[@AbhisarRawat]

TOILET GOES YUM YUM

[@dungww2006]

r/cursedcomments

[@soynomilk]

this is very cursed

[@kineticneticcat]

please no

[@warrencan4221]

I bought one and it hurt my balls. Pretty sure it’s a power washer.

[@yurika12]

thank you for being a martyr for us all.

[@rayakoth]

"Power Scrubber"

[@renasance2]

I should get one to wash my car.

[@AMan-ct1gu]

If you enjoy your car being covered in shit water

[@maddie_aedits]

*hog wash*

[@hossamsaffieddine3316]

*Muslims, Japanese and Koreans laughing in the background*

[@doomguy8718]

*Bangladeshis, Indians and Pakistanis join the laugh*

[@let716]

*all of Asians hosting the laugh party*

[@cljalamana1190]

Every asians laughing

[@Dඩී]

@@cljalamana1190 why? Can you explain meplz?

[@cljalamana1190]

@@Dඩී asians conserve nature by using eco friendly solutions by using water saving billions of trees like theres no hoarding of toilet paper in the philippines we use a bucker and a tabo in tagalog or kabu in bisaya its basicly a small bucket with a handle we use it to clean our buts and most asians use waters prayers which is much more eco friendly and much more efficient in cleaning than western toilet paper cuz the water is recycled and it is clean its like using those hoses you use to wash your car to your ass

[@cklounge2096]

I got a genuine ad for a bidet before the video and there was a child actor who looked way too happy to be using a bidet. I’m traumatized

[@nothanks39]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/nZ_LqmaMjtuSipI

[@cklounge2096]

no thanks that was precisely the one

[@hideyourwenches]

Me too 😞

[@cicelypatterson3927]

Same, I thought it was a joke

[@5H4NKTH35HARK]

Cuties be like:

[@catanalinacazenave130]

I just realized this whole commercial just repeated itself like 3 times

[@Sypaka]

Repitition will make things burn in to your head. Repitition will make things burn in to your head. Repitition will make things burn in to your head.

[@christopherminutolo9384]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/nJC2qHdth9uYhKc kzbin.info/www/bejne/nJC2qHdth9uYhKc kzbin.info/www/bejne/nJC2qHdth9uYhKc

[@dakotabakken9539]

EXcentriX but it won’t make you spell ‘Repetition’ correctly

[@VoidHalo]

Head on, apply directly to the forehead. Head on, apply directly to the forehead. Head on, apply directly to the forehead. EDIT: HAHAHA I posted this before I even realized somebody else posted a link to the actual ad. Been years since I've seen this and I still have no idea what it's for.

[@95TurboSol]

Wait how is it secret when it makes your toilet look like a cyborg?

[@justanoob12321]

My toilet is augmented

[@hegyimutymuty]

how secret do you expect it to be, when it has it's own commercial? it's not like it appears from nowhere, like your creepy old uncle under your window, who states, that likes little boys younger than the latest presidents mandate :D

[@joaopedrodossantosrocha5279]

95TurboSol ii

[@badappleinthebunch5623]

your toilet never asked for this

[@operator8014]

Would YOU ask a cyborg toilet about its secrets? I thought not.

[@harrisonsmetana2506]

Instructions unclear toilet now screams “I am a bidet” when it detects a human within 106 feet of it.

[@marbleswan6664]

4:51 wait. You can get a second one for free as long as you pay for a second one. What.

[@nataliafan14]

“Perfect for a second bathroom- just pay a separate fee😃” .. Que??

[@EroSennin404]

N..nani...?

[@rulerworld1289]

I think it meand seperate shipping fee but im not sure

[@averongodoffire8098]

M...mhm Um pardon👌

[@twoeyedlibrarian]

なに

[@sabrinaadam8557]

Why is it called secret? There’s a giant timer attached to your crapper.

[@ApartmentKing66]

It's not a timer, actually; it controls water pressure.

[@motazfawzi2504]

@@ApartmentKing66 It looks like a timer at first glance

[@notarobot5815]

@Spastik may i ask you for your phone number so we can do..... business

[@JezzmanGAMES]

Imagine your friend using your toilet and then turning that button out of curiosity. Hilarity ensues.

[@RidleyUwO]

@@ApartmentKing66 Ohhhhh my fucking God. Thank you for laying bear these secrets we cro-magnon have not known before. What would we ever do without you.

[@wdf70]

2:04 That is legit some dude using a small hose to wash that blue shit away. Didn't even try to make it look like it was an even spread like the glass test.

[@ailospjellok7475]

"just sit back and relax while the My Secret Bidet rinses you clean!" me: Blastoise use hydropump!

[@EmilioExploring]

I'm going to use this to keep cats out of my yard.

[@binuuls5747]

You won’t have a yard after you use this product

[@Mega-P71]

決して離れていない永遠にともに I'm weak 😂😂😂

[@camcam2235]

El Emilio - use is to keep dogs from stealing my FUCKING WATER!!

[@user-em4rk4qo1f]

or toilet

[@ezzy7917]

Can I have them? jk.

[@etharchildres3976]

Idea -Change the logo to a radio name -put instructions that tell user that it plays music -Invite a guest over and have Mexican food -Tell them about your new radio toilet -wait Have fun

[@lanaslay2163]

And don’t forget -listen to there screams while there anus is destroyed by the bidet

[@ming5577]

And then your sprinkler is covered in shit congrats

[@inkystars19]

@@lanaslay2163 *their

[@brianchen5606]

The Japanese know. Once you live with it, you can never live without it.

[@_____._..--_]

I use a bidet myself, they clean my ass more than toilet paper thats for sure,

[@raynex2902]

I honestly don't know how ppl live with dookie leftovers on them fulltime

[@cloroxbleach3023]

Sometimes when I'm bored I use my secret bidet...

[@INatalkaI]

Europeans too. I'm from Eastern Europe and we had bidets in most bathrooms. I prefer them to TP.

[@kittananj]

Or South East Asia. I prefer it over toilet paper or wet wipe.

[@anniet494]

2:23 GENTLY? someone lost their VIRGINITY USING ONE OF THESE lmaoo

[@Zoeee0000]

THEY *WHAT*

[@anniet494]

@@Zoeee0000 OMG WHY WOULD I COMMENT THIS IM SO EMBARRASSED

[@angryturtle7436]

@@anniet494 IM HERE TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU COMMENTED THIS SO YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IT WHILE TRYING TO SLEEP. (btw i laughed at your comment):DD

[@shelby5809]

Here's your yearly reminder !

[@inamorato6663]

contiuing the chain lmao

[@austinalexander7953]

wiping leaves behind skin, the my secret bidet removes your skin

[@ky3644]

Austin Alexander 💀💀💀

[@Weediebaby420]

Omgggg😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀

[@ezraf.7759]

And rips you a new asshole

[@dylanholder8379]

To be completely honest I need this. not ironic. Actually.

[@clompus]

Do you not have arms or something?

[@RvB_Fan_since_8]

My mother has one, she loves it. Makes me uncomfortable.

[@klj2382]

+Lucas Ludwick 😂; she put the 2nd one in the front.

[@fragile1723]

Kevin2382 oh . . \_/

[@K10_Productions]

.,.,,.,.,.,.,

[@DrShaym]

Let's go back to what the Romans did: tie a sea sponge to a stick and wipe with that.

[@nepnep3043]

Dr Shaym you sexist man pig, I love you lmao

[@nicoleburns551]

SHAAAAAAYYYYYYYYMMMMMM

[@tncorgi92]

Oh, Spongebob, NOOOOOO!

[@helina2423]

Shaym? Didn't expect to find you here

[@StevenTheAristolianNerd]

Dr Shaym Fancy seeing you here

[@ryang5441]

0:23 fun fact: this segment caused me to realize something was wrong about me, go to the doctor, and be diagnosed with IBS

[@babygroot5594]

the toilet at my grandpas house has a my secret bidet all i can say is that thing is *VICIOUS*

[@0neDoomedSpaceMarine]

Does it clobber your nuts?

[@flngodingo9647]

We need to know

[@unaverageavocado159]

Run.

[@nishantdesai3705]

like a sane person use the dial properly to control water pressure, if you go all out starship maneuvering then obviously it'll hurt you just like poking fork in power socket is VISCIOUS

[@sherwing9054]

you mean viscous?

[@Error-ye1vq]

My parents got this because why the hell not apparently, but I literally can not use it on anything higher than the lowest setting. THEN the cold ass water just makes me want to die. Like this thing is ten times as bad as an Ice Age. I've just given up hope on that piece of garbage. Send help, my mom got a machine gun for the toilet.

[@El_Cabaro]

Error 404 heh. “Ass water”

[@Error-ye1vq]

@@El_Cabaro heh.

[@ferment4459]

Error 404 has it ever slapped your nuts?

[@britney65100]

Error 404 tushy is better so is frida mom portable bidet way more gentle and it cleans u way better

[@Lolinkassi]

KZbin recommended this to me as "Lifestyle"

[@Mega-P71]

Lolinkassi it's gaming for me 😂

[@arnz5050]

you have a message

[@dankestranch8738]

It's not a bidet it's a lifestyle

[@raksh9]

For penguinz0, roasting infomercials is a lifestyle.

[@its_rns]

This product is actually very useful, even the advertisement is on point. You wouldn't touch poop and just wipe it off with a paper instead of washing your hands right?

[@reyvaldosoetiman2389]

yeah , but idk why this guy talk bad when a lot of asian toilet using bidet in their bathroom me in south east asia use our hand to clean our poop + water and after that just wash my hand again in the sink

[@RedRoseSeptember22]

You should still wash your hands since you touched the toilet.

[@cherilynsarts8845]

*laughs in Filipino*

[@BaderHashmeh]

@@RedRoseSeptember22 people still wash their hands when they use a bidet

[@arianamaria_]

Yeah but I’m also not touching other people and things with my asshole. It’s just a fold between my skin that is covered all day and gets washed daily. It’s going to have bacteria and smell disgusting either way. If the concept of just wiping is really that upsetting if you can use a wet wipe but I can think of nothing more viscerally upsetting than ice cold water shooting out at my ass at 100 psi

[@rubinephiljames]

Hurt using the bidet ? Flextape® to the rescue

[@thatnerdinthecomments4678]

NO NO NO Flex Tape won't help you with this one! Flex Seal Liquid is the only product that will save your anus.

[@Strange_Man1911]

But can it repair the explosive damage done inside the scrotum?

[@toshi2623]

Flex seal that ass full

[@Ze_eT]

@@toshi2623 Flex paste*

[@Hassonn88]

Flex tape is the answer to all our prayers

[@healthya7975]

Did Anyone make the joke already Analiation

[@dooderbug2437]

THIS MAN IS A GENIUS

[@euronymous8370]

analhiliation

[@jurajanal2277]

Weapon of ass destruction

[@klj2382]

I would give you a thumbs up but you’re on 420 right now!

[@Strange_Man1911]

Auto correct says annahliation.

[@case3270]

2:13 nobody gonna talk about how that’s a dry erase sharpie on glass

[@awsomedragon7220]

Oh wow, didn’t notice that

[@vermontdoesstuff2546]

Spastik I don’t remember asking to talk about the fact that he is grey for only you

[@case3270]

@@vermontdoesstuff2546 can confirm im not gay.

[@vermontdoesstuff2546]

Sire Sheep sorry misread it thinking he was saying your like button was grey Please forgive me

[@thanos4959]

Bruh

[@theaviator1152]

3:47 Lol this woman’s facial expressions are gold

[@martyr025]

"Looks like a key blade from kingdom hearts."

[@brokenking5044]

The Analiator

[@gabrielamejia4840]

I died when i heard that my bf left the room lmfao

[@sebastianoschiatti4115]

3:46 ''for kids is awesome, they do it themselves, it vaporize them and i don't have to hide any evidence''

[@lGalaxisl]

My secret bidet, as a weirdly shaped thing attached to your toilet, with its name on it in print. They're not even remotely trying to make it a hidden, secret bidet.

[@brianagee2790]

20 years ago (dammit, I'm old) I had visited Japan to teach English for a summer and had the opportunity to use a bidet while staying with a host family. To this day, I had never forgotten how great it was. Now I finally own my own and it's got heated seats, pulsating water, and and air drier. So happy!

[@grapespace]

still waiting for square enix to announce the shitty infomercial world so I can get my bidet keyblade and fight alongside Billy Mays' nobody

[@marxeatsbatteries5829]

Mood.

[@JMikaelian95]

your voice is suited for running a noir jazz radio station that runs all night. your videos kick ass man keep it up

[@JMikaelian95]

or a right wing radio station. lmao

[@Toxin___InterHalfer]

C1tikal for Fallout 5 DJ!!!

[@nonamewhatsoever231]

Now it's OUR secret bidet.

[@scottshepke669]

Oh god 👁👄👁

[@italyisntreal]

*Soviet Anthem plays*

[@dommyboysmith]

"Installs in minutes! Anyone can do it!" *she closes the seat cover and it's completely misaligned*

[@flipperbooch2194]

That annoys me so much when it’s like that

[@SubtleHawk]

If he just kept wiping then the blue gunk would be completely off. That's why you don't wipe once but multiple times. You don't just wipe once and then be like "oh shoot, looks like I didn't get all the shit off, better luck next time!". I do have an actual bidet though and every once in a while it's good.

[@treebear8364]

Yeah it works, but using that much toilet paper is bad for the environment. A combination of bidet and toilet paper use is better.

[@sibakhin5191]

If you accidentally got shit on your hand, would you wipe it off repeatedly or would you wash it?

[@jadecoolness101]

Siba Khin wait you eat with your ass?

[@ming7831]

SubtleHawk *_better luck next time!_*

[@darthchungus8820]

@@sibakhin5191 Id probably trick my friend into giving me a high five and then wash it off.

[@XLNC_YL]

4:50 Toilet not included

[@FlightSimXtreem]

Ahhh why???

[@ronaldmcdonald662]

FlightSimXtreem whats 2018 like im from 2016

[@FlightSimXtreem]

Apple made some more iPhones. WW3 threats getting bigger. That is pretty much all for now.

[@FlightSimXtreem]

And need to add, the curren iPhone you maybe just bought. Isn't supported anymore. Get already 1000 bux ready for another shitty iPhone with B quality batteries

[@pauly.4692]

Anthony B I

[@LemystereManCarloc]

3 years ago: how funny Today: who’s laughing now

[@grnsgottaM]

I can believe more cheap bidet seats haven’t sold, meanwhile NO toilet paper to be seen, for months.

[@malignoerat68]

still me

[@tempatchtheveryweird3665]

Still me.

[@ComXDude]

Still me

[@NiceDayToU]

It was published on my birthday

[@chihiro_-._-._-._-._-._-._-._-]

"Gently rinses the mess away" Has the same energy as "Dumbledore asked calmly"

[@1Yooter]

I would turn on the bidet and pee standing up while aiming at the bidet's stream just to see which of us has the strongest stream.

[@arcanonn]

‘Duel of the Fates’ worthy

[@SteenSpinal4LIFE]

But you would have gravity in your advantage..

[@1Yooter]

@@SteenSpinal4LIFE it’s called having the high ground.

[@Mercer45X]

@@1Yooter You get a like.

[@DefinitelyNotDiego]

this comment is seriously underrated

[@disboi9336]

"Their colon would probably *probably* explode"

[@tidepodpadthai2633]

Dis Boi Definitely*

[@lexxurevg1]

4:20 Missed a perfect opportunity to say Weapon of Ass Destruction. I am disappoint. Rest of the video was awesome though, love these!

[@onehalfatsquared8333]

That was my exact thought as well.

[@Person-lh5fp]

Notice the time he could have said it. Damn.

[@95TurboSol]

I am disappoint too

[@vinvinthegreat]

Hello disappoint

[@omarhuda4997]

lexxurevg1 disappoint

[@noxturne16]

Ok but bidets are fucking amazing, my uncle had it in his house and once I tried it toilet paper and water bucket was never the same

[@giornotriestino1364]

Good nephew, being clean is important however do not use too much water, i am a mafia boss but that shit is still expensive.

[@misterports3995]

BTW this is presented as a invention, i live in middle east and all the toilets has this, for a very long time.

[@KFCGAMING55]

Damn the middle east in 3019 while us peasants in 2019

[@noornasri5753]

Yeah, there's nothing new about this. Other cultures use water instead of toilet paper and that's generally the market audience for these products.

[@ahmad_hcomposer9276]

Exactly lol

[@timoyr2954]

Here in Finland (and I think rest of the Nordic countries) we have "hand bidets" which are kinda' like tiny shower heads next to either the toilet or the sink (or it's just a flaucet that can be pulled out). It's super handy, granted most don't actually use them as bidets, but rather to wash their hair/face or the bathroom.

[@AgniFirePunch]

@@timoyr2954 Fins really out here washing with the shit faucet

[@neurofiedyamato8763]

Or I can get a Japanese toilet and listen to music while taking a dump, get my ass warmed and being cleaned all at the same time.

[@Sypaka]

i'll use it while screaming "I am gonna make stinky poo poo on your stupid japanese face" then unload some chunks of burning love. This shit killed Elvis before, but I am a strong man.

[@randomytuser6775]

EXcentriX what.

[@Lummerbummer115]

Been to Japan, they are incredible toilets.

[@des-oe1vl]

I bought one of these just to take it apart and make an anti-tailgater for my car. From experience it can really launch paint remover.

[@Skelterbane69]

I need this for my truck

[@AtheistGamerz]

@@Skelterbane69 i need a truck for my bidet.

[@cogcog5264]

Please post a vid of this in action I need to see this comedy

[@brunoglopes]

Well, bidets are actually way more hygienic than toilet paper and/or wet wipes.

[@giornotriestino1364]

Wait, for bidet you mean this spray for your ass or an actual bidet?

[@someonewithaphone3108]

@@giornotriestino1364 They're both bidets. In my country most houses have a toilet and a separate bidet, but humbler homes have one attached to the toilet seat.

[@SilverReviews]

Bidets are absolutely more hygienic. Anyone who acts like this is a dumb idea, is gross and dirty.

[@someonewithaphone3108]

@@SilverReviews I know, no amount of paper will leave you as clean as water. Plus, it's quick and better for the environment.

[@Mr.Bimgus]

@@SilverReviews You people need to learn how to wipe. Wet wipes have soap and water in them. If you are telling me that water is more effective then soap and water, you are insane. Plus, I can't imagine how easy it is to accidentally flood your bathroom with a bidet. Like if that's what you like using, great, go for it. But just because some people don't use it doesn't mean they're disgusting.

[@Mothbean]

I think the phrase "That would wreck a kid's anus" got Charlie put on an FBI watchlist.

[@dsamuel2116]

I would like it but it’s at 69

[@OrigamiAhsoka]

😳

[@Anna-tc6rz]

According to my s.o. when you grow up always using bidets to clean after using the bathroom tp just doesnt cut it. They can tolerate just using wipes but bidets are cheaper long term. After using one I agree they're nice. Especially since I have..... digestive issues so to speak. Use much less tp this way lol

[@ezraf.7759]

I imagine they're very useful for heavy periods bc wet wipes and toilet paper on the first day just doesn't cut it.

[@knight3612]

Am I the only one that's used a bidet and gets extremely uncomfortable by water slapping my asshole?

[@wibs0n68]

@@knight3612 get used to it

[@lv9265]

@@knight3612 I fkn hate the feeling too, idk why.

[@eobardrush2112]

@barung1 Not only Italians but whole of Asia use them

[@OVERBYTE2000]

The water that runs into my toilet is almost ice cold. It wouldn't work because I would be clenching from the shock.

[@Souleater787]

You'll clench all the poop back inside.

[@J-R-2000]

Not gonna lie, i have this. Pretty good. Us filipino, we use soap and water to clean our downstair everytime we went to bathroom. Sorry but tissue just wipes out your doo doo but water and soap will clean the shit out 99.9%

[@SeroGrave]

Reason I subscribed: Your monotone voice and how hilarious you and your jokes are. Wish I could meet cha someday.

[@epic-a]

mc jammy charlie

[@htlchtlc]

mc jammy meet you --->meetcha

[@IqraKhan-vc7lo]

*laughs in middle eastern and we have been doing this since the start of time*

[@suwaidajalal]

Probably everyone except the "west" has been washing rather than wiping. And, boy, is it great during the pandemic!

[@IqraKhan-vc7lo]

@@suwaidajalal yes omg😂😂😂

[@treesome3979]

@@suwaidajalal We all have a bidet in Italy as well

[@suwaidajalal]

@@treesome3979 I am aware that most of Europe uses bidets. Sorry for the insinuation.

[@assaultedbysalt5041]

are they supposed to be that powerful tho?

[@JdotSweapA]

"Looks like a fuckin Keyblade from Kingdom Hearts."

[@cameronpeterson6734]

RenoVatio Oh the memories

[@baronvonbeans9887]

This keyblade doubles the power of your ice magic

[@Thesketchfox]

RenoVatio it's aquas ultimate keyblade

[@duracotton]

😂😂

[@rexyrex1599]

RenoVatio it really does, now I gotta go replay kingdom hearts one and two

[@mememan77]

Is it sad that when i got recommended this and it said "my secret bidet" in the title i thought of those Jewish hats and wondering how its going to be secret.

[@SuperHeladoYT]

" Perfect for children i now don't have to help them " kid : goes to bathroom my secret bidet : DID SOMEONE SAY SKIN

[@Margo-No-T]

Hahahahahaaah I pooped my pants when you said itd spray shit all over the bathroom

[@ALonelyMeerkat]

sounds like you needed a secret bidet

[@VueiyVisarelli]

Sounds like he _has_ a secret bidet.

[@BEDMan-vl3xy]

"Anailation"

[@eojinkim5960]

Butt Sagget analation

[@zacharygombosky4830]

To test the power of My Secret Bidet, I sawed my perineum in half.

[@TheCasua1]

Cr1tiKal needs to narrate movies imagine the beginning to pacific rim with Cr1tiKal narration

[@nottodaydevilshindowraithe501]

"This giant ass robot just smacked the titty off of that creature!"

[@philosophpascal]

Bidets are in fact way more hygenic compared to toilet paper.

[@vlusky_husky]

Wait, mini power shower beside the toilet so you could spray it to your anus isn't a thing at your place?

[@AgniFirePunch]

How is spraying shit mist on your scrotum and the back of your thighs hygienic?

[@DeathWish-DJ]

you still have to wipe afterwards....unless u walk around with a watery asshole fresh from taking a shit

[@strictlypineapple9308]

Deshon Jay u need to use water to stay clean after a shit if not u r just gross. Yes u wipe but just to dry not wiping 1000 times wasting toilet paper and on top of that the paper still doesn’t fully clean . It’s gross u don’t know how many people that don’t use water actually smell. I walk behind people on the stairs and it’s fucking gross everytime like use water .

[@fbiguy5269]

@@strictlypineapple9308 Water alone wouldn't take the shitty smell away xD. Or are you showering without soap or some kind of shower gel. Use baby wipes or some kind of wet wipe with fragrance.

[@mcj1ggl356]

Looks like a keyblade from kingdom hearts. That ended me

[@EmpiricalPragmatist]

"I put my action figures on it..."

[@bellahoffman6182]

My mom bought one of these, and I gotta hand it to them. My asshole has never been so shiny.

[@juicecan6450]

that level of pressure when the knob is at level 2...at full power you'll probly master water bending once it hits your rectum

[@mahtexas]

Honestly I would love to see someone sit down to poo at a friends house, not know what the knob thing is, turn it on and get the shit scared out of them.

[@jadecoolness101]

mahtexas but they already took a shit.

[@nottodaydevilshindowraithe501]

No, WASHED out of them.

[@suzz1776]

"the world's most viscous shit". lmfao

[@redrounin1440]

...weapon of ASS destruction I know I can't be the first to that joke but I haven't read the comments yet

[@spookytimescaryvideos4395]

redrounin boi that pfp

[@ming7831]

redrounin I put it in the top of the comments for you. Your welcome.

[@raresboldan4885]

WEAPON OF m ASS DESTRUCTION

[@faerie5926]

XD yep

[@willjohn1117]

Just shut up and praise the sun

[@yung_cheezy]

"It looks like a fucking keyblade from Kingdom Hearts." lmao, don't why I found that hilarious, but I did :)

[@itsjustrc6593]

*e n g l i s h*

[@ThatStupidIdoitMatt]

@@itsjustrc6593 bruh nothing was confusing about that

[@Sondaze]

"Looks like a fucking keyblade" i lost my shit

[@Akotski-ys9rr]

I like how the only differing feature of this is the fact that it opens like a sprinkler so they just start advertising features about it that every other bidet has

[@Nr8k]

He says “my secret bidet” so where can i get his i don’t want my own

[@Nr8k]

Allison Marie I’m not exactly sure how to word it but I’m glad you get the joke and think it’s valid 😁

[@deerdust360]

@@Nr8k bring me Allison Marie now.

[@Eva1337]

Everyone knows the proper way is the 3 seashell method.

[@2ShOoTer7]

Now that's what I call a fucking reference ! Hell yeah !

[@hegyimutymuty]

please explain? :D

[@RedSemen420]

knowyourmeme.com/memes/three-seashells

[@trequor]

Holy fuck i never thought id see that again

[@DenjiJinrey]

fawk, im glad someone remember this awesome movie :)

[@AtheistGamerz]

4:21 or you could say it's a weapon of "ass" destruction?? I'll go home now...

[@oldbatwit5102]

In Britain we say 'I'll get me coat'.

[@cultured2535]

1:08 that stuff will blast you farther than team rocket.

[@cheesebatto]

Every time I hear the word "bidet" it reminds me of that episode of Kill la Kill where Ryuko starts a club so Mako and her family won't be poor and they move into a middle high class house and the dad is like "look guys the toilet has a flush!!" while grabbing a bunch of toilet paper and then suddenly it sprays him and he has a spiritual moment.

[@Katagara84]

It's not really a secret if you put your brand's name right there on the control pad

[@madrut6679]

1:23 "Ah I swear to god hank, it's so I can drift with it."

[@ashes_menagerie]

@ 4:00 Lady looks cross eyed !🤣🤣🤣

[@StudioOfAnimationEntertainment]

I guess you could say she's "high as shit", huh?