Should I Tell My Best Friend's Ex-Husband That She Won't Remarry Him If He Divorces? r/Relationships

[@FreijaVanir]

"Neighbors might be d3@d" story: Do all y'all remember the case of the baby/toddler that was left in her playpen with a few (closed) bottles of formula for 2 weeks while her "mother" went to party? The neighbors heard her cry and call out for days while she starved in a puddle of feces. Nobody did anything. They weren't nosy. They minded their own business. Be the nosy neighbor. It may be a question of life and death for someone.

[@j.j.juggernaut9709]

yeah and I feel like the word "nosy" should not even apply in situations such as these where you think something genuinely terrible happened. Nosy is more for a person who wants to judge and gossip (like old women in my country who want to know if a girl has kissed someone before marriage lol)

[@BloodShed4REAL]

@@j.j.juggernaut9709 'Concerned citizen' is the word we're looking for :P

[@rachaeldumas7432]

That story hurt me so bad. At the time I heard it, my baby girl was 2. I still tear up if I think about it too hard.

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

I've always gotten really sad over stories where somebody dies in their home and nobody notices. It just hits so hard. But stories of parents leaving their child to starve to death make me some type of angry.... like, lock them in the basement of the jail and lose the key angry. I'm glad op was paying attention. It is absolutely possible to keep an eye on your neighbors for things like this but still not get into their business. "Concerned citizen/ neighbor" is exactly right.

[@carterpitbull7366]

@@rachaeldumas7432In my state we have a similar worse story, baby girl with her drug addict father and his girlfriend and mother I think. They killed her. Police found her blood on the floor in traces but somehow those people got away with it. She’s still “missing” to this day.

[@brandi5126]

S1: I get the friend. It wasn't only cheating, she suffered a miscarrage. Losing a pregnancy is devastating, life changing. Throw in cheating on top of it, I can understand why the friend wanted to put him and ap through some hurt and humiliation, too.

[@Sifya]

I get you, I mean the cheating was so devastating for op friend then she lost her baby! Or course she wants blood

[@paulinadeboer3604]

Story 2 i live in a neighbourhood with a lot of old people i walk 3 times a day my dog and keep an eye on them. A few months back i walked outside and saw my neighbour her light on at 3 am. She always goes to bed at ten. I ring her doorbel. Either she can't sleep or there is something wrong. She did not react so i called the police. She fell under the shower and broke her hip. She laid there for 5 hours. Its not bad to watch out for your neighbours.

[@masterq134]

Yeah your trust being betrayed to the point that you lose your child will change you. Who knew?

[@chickensandwich8808]

Sure does. And a good friend will be aware of that change and try to offer support as needed.

[@KeitieKalopsia]

@@chickensandwich8808 OP is not a good friend

[@chickensandwich8808]

@KeitieKalopsia heavily disagree, you are entitled to your opinion even when it's wrong.

[@sapphicgeek24]

Story 1: Honestly, OP needs to just mind their own business. The whole situation is a dumpster fire.

[@kateajurors8640]

Right like I know.She's sad about her friend changing.But her friend was literally cheated on wild pregnant and that baby she wanted at that time was ripped from her wound.Because of the stress the affair caused she's got her pound of flesh and is now moving.It's fair enough

[@johnbradbury8610]

she also needs to quit drinking so much before she posts.

[@chickensandwich8808]

In short, yes. But OP isn't wrong for being concerned her friend might be going into a dark place. The friend still needs therapy and to work through emotions. Just because they are buried doesn't mean they have been handled.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@chickensandwich8808 Yeah but wanting to tell the Ex-husband is where OP became a huge AH

[@sentientcardboarddumpster7900]

Yea she has a bizzare mindset I don't understand at all

[@nuclear2na]

1st story OP is not a very good friend. She can't put herself into her "friends" shoes, and just talks about how sad SHE feels because SHE feels uncomfortable.

[@MsMookalate]

Exactly what I said out loud.

[@GaskyChan]

OP was like “Bo ho ho my friend was so kind” she also had a miscarriage while her man was cheating trash.

[@DominosAndHearts]

This exactly

[@ButyoucancallmeKat]

I completely agree! She is kinda also acting like the ex wanting her friend to just go back to the sweetest little thing after all this! Like HOW?! Almost like her having a complete breakdown and needing her power back is a phase or something! Oh shock! How could my kind sweet friend LIKE betraying the man who betrayed her??? Where is my sweet sweet girl???

[@elizabethcox5911]

I actually understand how OP feels. She's saddened by how much her friends experience has changed her and is hoping that she'll heal and go back to the kind of person she was before all this.

[@MizMorgue1]

S2. It's so sad that with the way society functions in these modern times, ppl feel badly for being concerned for their neighbors. We're told SO OFTEN to mind our own business, that when we worry, ppl tell us we're dumb and nosy. I'd be very happy to have a neighbor like OP. Basic human kindness is a rare thing these days.

[@nwilady1867]

The ex-wife is doing the current wife a big favor , but once the husband finds out he's been duped, she will most likely take him back.

[@CanyonALynn]

S2: It may not be an actual murder, but it does sound like a DV situation.

[@lynnw7155]

I wonder if whatever it was didn't happen in the house? If ambulances and police were involved, the whole neighborhood would know. I'd like to hear the rest of this story.

[@CanyonALynn]

@@lynnw7155 True. But it could be that if someone was injured, they may have either snuck out or had someone pick them up to drive them to the hospital at an odd hour while nobody was looking. Whatever it was, this is a very sketchy situation.

[@sandrakranzwinther3286]

Op doesn't understand how devastating cheating is. Her friend was destroyed and her whole world shattered. If this "revenge" (I'm not even sure it is revenge as it was the ex husband being the active part/pursuing and OP's friend just played the hand she was dealt) makes her move on, then brava!

[@chickensandwich8808]

I have a hot take. I don't think the OP is as awful as people are painting her to be. Should she mind her business? Yes. But, part of being a supportive friend is recognizing when your friends need saving from themselves. THIS time the revenge turned out well. But most of the time when a revenge plot if protracted to this degree it doesn't end well for those enacting or receiving it. That said, I'm glad she didn't tell the Ex about this because that would have been the wrong move even as a supporting friend. I don't thinkbits that she dkesnt understand how devastating cheating is, I think it's that she likely hasn't had to try and be the support for someone in this situation before. It sounds more like she wants her friend to bot fall into a dark place, which I understand. I just don't think people should be as harsh as they are being in their accessments.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@chickensandwich8808 I think you're a little bit off the mark there. It didn't seem like the OP was that bothered about the safety aspect of it. It feels like the OP was still grieving their relationship. She thought they were the perfect couple and couldn't come to terms with them breaking apart so badly. She was worried about her friend going down a bad path but she was also seeing the actions as worse than they were because she wasn't letting go of the idea of them. That's why she was feeling so bad afterwards despite the revenge not even being that bad. We know that the guy didn't actually care about the friend but the OP wasn't understanding that. It's like when people get super attached to celebrity relationships and take it personally when they breakup.

[@ladyv5655]

The friend, the ex and his new girl suck. They all deserve what they get and OP needs to avoid all of them.

[@ajzephyros7454]

I have no idea how I feel about story one, but friend needs to stop focusing on her ex ETA: Ex is idiot-incarnate ETA2: Story was sounding like a murder suicide. Also I do hate the term unalive FFS it gets under my skin ETA3: Ok so sounds like ATTEMPTED murder suicide

[@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas]

She already did. She just wants revenge and she took her revenge. People say that revenge won't help you feel good but hey , she feels great and that's the most important thing. No one have the right to judge her except God himself.

[@chickensandwich8808]

​@@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas except that it's been shown time and time again that revenge doesn't actually address the underlying issues of loss. Her friend still has baggage. And the revenge is her version of coping while also proving he was in her mind enough that she needed to go out of her way to hurt him, that's not really great revenge it's actually kind of pathetic. On top of that said friend still needs to address the emotions she is pushing down because the high of "victory" will go away, and when it does, OP's friend will have no outlet. A better revenge would have been to see if there was a route of legal recourse regarding the miscarriage. But ultimately focusing on delivering pain to her ex rather than addressing her issues will only hurt her later on regardless of the mask she puts on now. This isn't about God, it's a human flaw.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Okay you have to remember that on some platforms saying things like "dead death suicide murder etc" gets flagged especially when it's in the title or apart of the rules on particular Reddit pages. So the only other option is "unalive"

[@lasmirandadennsiewillja9435]

@@TwiggyHetfield27 Yeah, the admin in one FB group I'm in (the main reason why I even still use FB lol) once posted a warning, to please not use certain words, because groups have randomly gotten flagged and shut down because some people's posts or comments. It's just a writing group, mind you, nothing crazy but apparently, we can't freely discuss the plots of murder mysteries or thrillers without risking the scorn of the random algo. Even here on youtube. Does anybody really still follow the rules? This week it's this, then it's that, then it's just for the video creators within the first one, two, or seven minutes, but you're free to talk in the comments, but sometimes, using some words gets you an "Are you sure this complies with the community guidelines?" pop up... 24/7 redditors can do the Rumplestiltskin dance all they want, but in the vast context of the world and all things social and written in letters, it's not special enough for most of us to read into and memorise whatever little extra rules reddit or a subreddit has. Which is probably one reason why so many buro and amIthedevil addicts got banned from AITA ages ago lol So what if someone cares enough to not want to be banned and follows a "better safe than sorry" mindset? Nobody unalives spontaneously by some people self-filtering. (as a random side note that I find funny - I only care about the specific rules of two or three subreddits, one of them is a family-friendly community of a game, so, no profanity or suggestive language, please. This is funny because a major inspiration (with many small easter eggs and references in the game for those who know) is a book series that doesn't just have suggestive language, but steamy, semi-explicit, mildly flowery naughty scenes in almost every chapter. Has nothing to do with this comment thread or the video, I'm just easily amused).

[@clockwork3494]

Honestly I was thinking her sister died in an accident and the partner took their own life because they couldn't handle the loss and wanted to be with her. All aroud creepy af, wonder if we'll see a conclusion that at least expalins things a bit better.

[@DragonflyandTheWolf]

Story 2: really weird the police didn't know what was going on. i called a welfare check on a friend a few years ago. She was in a toxic relationship and the last I spoke to her, she was telling me she'd be late for work because her ex and her were fighting. I called the no emergency number for the police to check up on them, but it turn out the police had already gotten involved and were trying to mediate the situation between them. The police let me know she was physically safe, and they were presently handling it.

[@invisigoth510]

Story one: OP said they were very much in love. I can tell by how vindictive her friend was Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is

[@chickensandwich8808]

Indifference would have been the better revenge. Which is why instead of focusing on her ex OP's friend should have been focusing on herself. I don't begrudge her for her feelings, but it's clear she was and still isn't in a good place.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@chickensandwich8808 Easy for you to say. Not everyone can turn the other cheek and smile

[@justadragonwithaphone8878]

This might be just me but I dont like story 1 Op. “…were so happy together at one point in their lives” Yea and they he betrayed her multiple times playing both of them, she got publicly embarrassed, and she miscarried they started it her friend just ended it

[@yamairad1]

I don't think OP can comprehend what her friend went through. I didn't go through that, but I was emotionally abused. It's been over a year, and I'm happy and at peace, but I literally think he killed something in me. I don't think I could ever be that person he knew again. Some pain can not be undone. It just changes you. OP needs to understand that instead of being pissy, her friend is not the same as before.

[@araeast6923]

I think she DOES understand her friend is not the same as before, though. I definitely think she’s focusing too much on how her friend and the ex’s relationship looked from the outside, but I think her friend’s actions are disturbing her. Bear in mind that while the friend’s rage and grief is justified, she still went out of her way to intentionally manipulate and hurt someone. Her plan WAS cruel, intentionally made to be so. I don’t blame her, but I don’t think it’s fair to expect OP to agree with her friend’s actions.

[@justadragonwithaphone8878]

@@araeast6923 her plan was not that cruel. There have been much much worse fates for cheaters, loss jobs, losing all their family and friends, and worse. All she did was lie about taking him back. He ruined one relationship but he can just become a better person for the next one

[@valgardener7656]

Holy heck what is wrong with you people? Yes, she lost her baby. Yes she was betrayed! Yes, that was horrific. Yes, that is what is causing her to behave this way. That doesn't mean that the way she is behaving isn't disturbing. When y'all watch "Dexter", do you insist he not actually a serial killer, because childhood trauma? You all know the story of that actor whose good friend got attacked? After she told him, he started walking the streets with a baseball bat just hoping some random person would attack him so that he could kill the bastard. He talked to his priest and his friends, they were able to talk him down, and he stopped roaming the streets like a psycho looking to kill someone. Good thing he didn't have friends like you folks. You'd just have said the random attacker would have had it coming, and how dare anyone criticize him, because trauma. And I guess he'd have spent his life in jail instead of Hollywood. Ugh!

[@justadragonwithaphone8878]

@@valgardener7656 she didnt kill him or do anything illegal. She did not stalk, she did not destroy proper. She only lied to him and tricked him into admitting that he is a bad person who wont get over her and doesn’t love his affair partner. For being the reason she miscarried and wrecking her life he got off easy

[@kissedbypalefirex]

story 2: as someone who lives in rural TX....gunshots and fireworks are different, they sound different. op shouldn't feel bad, she wanted to help/was worried about the neighbor

[@faeriefire78]

Last reminds me of a true crime story I watched a few weeks ago. The wife had been murdered at home by her husband. Her family hadn't heard from her for a few days, cops did a wellness check. A neighbor saw the cops and walked over to casually drop that she'd heard screams and cries of "No!" and "It hurts, stop it!" a few nights back. She said they were "serious screams" that went on for several minutes, but because no one yelled for help, she did nothing. If she'd called the cops immediately, it's possible the woman might have lived instead of being stabbed to death in her own home and dumped behind a Walmart before her husband took off on his dream road trip. At least he could've been caught mid-cleanup. Be mindfully nosy, everyone.

[@poocumber7806]

Her friend is high on that sweet sweet karma, she destroyed her love rival and played her cheating ex, ego restored 🤷🏻‍♂️👌🏻

[@chickensandwich8808]

For now. That won't last though. She still has emotional baggage to address.

[@bonjourputas]

Sometimes the only way to be satisfied is to get your lick back. ⚖️

[@ruthsaunders9507]

That high will fade fast. Doesn't change anything that happened. Hope she finally gets away from it , otherwise it'll continue to fester.

[@KeitieKalopsia]

She’ll still have some things to work out after the fact, but it’s still a nice victory to have won

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@KeitieKalopsia Is it? What did she win? She's still where she started.

[@kurotsuki7427]

Haven't finished story 2, but if your worried about someone, it never hurts to call in a welfare check

[@theunexpectedsmile5535]

In certain places, and with the wrong police officers, history has shown that it most certainly can…

[@lucannor6202]

Story 1: I don't think it was just about petty revenge, but actually to prove a point to everyone. Both the best friend and AP will never be #1, and a cheater will always remain a cheater.

[@Dan1ell]

S2: Wait, how do we know the random woman who showed up is in fact the neighbour's sister? Because she said so? She could be the killer's helper or even the killer! OP still hasn't seen either of the neighbours alive, we just have a random stranger's word that she is family and that the neighbours are alive. We know nothing!

[@jakemarie828]

I think if the friend had made a multi-part post as the betrayals were happening, we'd all be cheering when ex fell in her revenge trap.

[@jakeand9020]

I was cheering anyway, well, I would have been if I wasn't too busy laughing!

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

I can't I can't say I feel sorry for the Ex-husband, but the friend still being so hung up on messing with him is concerning.

[@KCohere33]

She lost her baby because of him. I’d be shocked if she wasn’t still hung up on getting revenge.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Yeah, I'd be alot more concerned about the well being of my FRIEND rather than whether or not she's been mean to her cheating ex that led her to a miscarriage.

[@valgardener7656]

@@DragonbornMike-ym2er Doesn't sound like it. It sounds like you are willing to overlook extremely concerning mental health symptoms from the friend, just because you want the cheaters to get what is coming to them. That is putting the cheaters first, in a way

[@carterpitbull7366]

@@valgardener7656I’m willing to bet that HE is the one who keeps reaching out. So if she decides to fuck with him that’s his problem lmfao

[@valgardener7656]

@@carterpitbull7366 Again, you are looking at someone who is totally traumatized and unhinged, and instead of feeling a smidge of sorrow or concern, you gloat because her psychological state hurts her ex in some way. Okay, whatever.

[@aragorn2861]

S1 Never thought I would root for this kind of villanry, but apparently I do. And the tipping point for me is the miscarriage. She has every right to get this revenge. I really hope she can move on now.

[@snafubar5491]

Well, first we only have one side of a cluster f. We only have her word this is what caused her loss. Was she even expecting??? Not like she would.......I don't know, say lie about it to paint her ex as the badguy and garner sympathy. Looks like it worked.......no??? No, I don't 'just believe' anyone. x10 that for a woman scorned.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

Right? It’s not like there are even kids between the ex and side piece that were collateral damage to her revenge. Big whoopdie doo that she wrecked their marriage after they wrecked hers. Seems fair to me. Lmao.

[@aragorn2861]

@@snafubar5491To be fair that's true of all these stories, the whole thing could be made up. Maybe the best friend was the one who cheated first and she just never got caught. I am responding to the story we heard, assuming it's true.

[@aragorn2861]

@@Rose-yt5hi Yup, not saying it's well adjusted response. But it's understandable, and feels fair.

[@chickensandwich8808]

​@@aragorn2861 eh, my issue regarding it is more how people are focused more on the revenge and the cheater getting comeuppance rather than how potentially disturbing OP's friend's behavior is becoming. The purchasing of gifts to keep the charade is kind of what Seals that for me. It's disturbing.

[@PawleyGirl]

Story 1: I wish I could have gotten revenge on my ex like this. Karma did it for me, though. He married the girl he cheated on me with. He ended up going to jail for a year for fraud, while his precious new wife and their newborn daughter left him. She's now married to someone else. She was fake friends with me, she's a garbage person too. I hope they both have the lives they deserve.

[@duaneglaze7229]

While I understand why she did what she did, I would pull back on my friendship with her

[@madcatlady]

I am the nosy neighbour who calls the police when I hear fighting and loud thumps coming from a neighbour's house, the cop car when it arrived was soon followed by an ambulance, no idea what happened but something must have

[@Tiogair]

First story: OP is not a friend and should really look inward to reflect on why she cares so much about the feelings of people who hurt her friend so terribly. I’m so sorry for the friend who has gone through cheating, a miscarriage and now this unsupportive friend who was absolutely considering also going behind her back to benefit the man who hurt her.

[@jomc6734]

Story 1: OP definitely needed to keep out of that sh!t show situation. OP can say that her friend and the friend's ex loved each other and were happy together but that didn't stop HIM from cheating. I don't blame OP's friend for going scorched earth on her ex and his AP/second wife.

[@mercycunningham2813]

Story1: Did OP sleep with her BFs cheating Ex too or is she just not very empathetic? Ex cheated while GF is pregnant. AP humiliates the pegnant GF very cruel. GF looses baby. Yay forgive and forget? Nope. He and AP deserve every bit of revenge that's comming their way.

[@orchidoxs126]

Not even Gf that was his WIFE of several years.

[@mercycunningham2813]

@@orchidoxs126 Then OP is even a bigger AH.

[@laurenc4138]

I had the same thought about the first story! Glad I’m not the only one who thought it was incredibly weird she was willing to betray her best friend for a dude that cheated on her, caused a miscarriage, then tried to cheat on his cheating partner as well! The guy is scum, she can’t accept her happy go lucky friend and her perception of their “couple goals” relationship was just her opinion and not reality, so she can’t accept that this level of trauma can fundamentally alter someone and it’s his fault for that change. Her friend needed that, whether it’s right or wrong, and it sounds like she was totally at peace exposing him as a disgusting capricious piece of garbage. She didn’t even do all that much, she let him dig his own grave and he willingly jumped right in.

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

My chronic illnesses flared up bad the last few months, so I'd been spending most of my time asleep or too out of it to leave bed. My friend got increasingly concerned when I wasn't staying in touch, and told me that she had actually begun to half-worry that maybe I'd died and my husband was covering it up lol. Speculation can do weird things to our minds!

[@colleens1107]

Story two: PLEASE LET THERE BE ANOTHER UPDATE. I NEED TO KNOW IF THE NEIGHBOR KILLED HER HUSBAND

[@laurenc4138]

The last thing OP posted was that she thinks the landlord killed them 12 days ago still so no update yet.

[@annhans3535]

When your heart is broken and you are left in a void, to hell with being civilized. There was a story of a banking employee who died at her desk at work for 4 days and no one missed her or knew she was dead at her dest. When the other employees in the front noticed a smell and complained then they found her in her cubicle at the back of the office. So sad.

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

That was fairly recent, too, wasn't it?? I remember hearing about it..... like HOW? In a cubicle AT WORK and it still took them FOUR DAYS to realize something was wrong. Smh

[@annhans3535]

@@nyxspiritsong5557 I guess no one at work visited her desk and she most likely didn't socialized with anyone at work. No family to miss her. Poor woman.

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

@annhans3535 damn that just sucks so bad..... wish I could go back in time and just give her a hug.

[@annhans3535]

@@nyxspiritsong5557 I felt that too.

[@KCohere33]

S1: I’m sorry but I don’t begrudge her friend her petty revenge one bit. Imo, he deserves it and so does the AP. I don’t know why OP is so sad about it. I don’t think the friend is going to turn into Cruella Deville now. “Living a happy life” might be the best revenge ideally but not always possible.

[@valgardener7656]

She's sad because the friend she knew is gone. She's gone. Her best friend was traumatized so badly she has essentially become a different person, and OP is grieving the loss of the person she knew. What is so hard to understand? You understand the friend turning into a psycho due to pain and loss, but not OP feeling sad for the same reason?

[@KCohere33]

@@valgardener7656 She didn’t turn into a psycho. She and you are overreacting. That’s what I don’t understand.

[@damien678]

Oh this is way beyond petty, but I can't really begrudge her either

[@valgardener7656]

@@KCohere33 How is OP over-reacting? Can you explain that to me. Her best friend went through a severe trauma, and she is now a completely different person that who she used to be. OP has lost the person her best friend used to be. And she is sad. She's sad. And that is over-reacting, to you? The fact that she feels sad? Then I say OP has the right to be sad, I'm over-reacting? What is your problem?

[@chickensandwich8808]

​they are too busy j**king off to revenge p*rn to be concerned woth how disturbing the friends behavior was becoming.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

That first OP is definitely giving alot of toxic positivity vibes. Doesn't care for how her friend was hurt, or the fact that the ex is basically proving he never changed. Feels like she's one step away from telling her friend to just be the bigger person, get over it, and forgive the damage done to her.

[@chickensandwich8808]

Thats not what toxic positivity is.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

@@chickensandwich8808 And incel doesn't actually have anything to due with toxicity or sexism, but we still use it in that way. Phrases and words have different usages all the time.

[@Lady.B0420]

What even is story one? The mind games are wild

[@ChristineKrannich]

The first story was sad but absolutely relatable.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

Story 1.. well played the player. This woman made her loose her child. The revenge was not only hubby but the B also. I t has nothing to to with beeing hung up to hubby, it was justice for killing her baby. Nothing so vindictive as a mamma bear.

[@theletterm2756]

I had to call a wellness check on a co-worker. The police were required to make contact before leaving in my area. I would insist on the police going in again.

[@bookmarkr7694]

Story 2: i wonder if the terrible accident was the garage door spring. Those things sound like a gunshot when they break, and can kill you. I wonder if maybe the husband was trying to fix their garage, with the wife looking on, and it sprung. That could have killed him and injured her

[@Dragonemperess]

He caused her to miscarry. I don't blame her one bit.

[@yamairad1]

I'm generally against revenge because it takes a toll on the victim. The victim is the friend. This time, I'm kinda happy he destroyed the marriage that should never have happened and exposed the husband flaky nature. OP doesn't understand the pain the friend went through. She lost her wanted baby. I don't blame her. It's an inconceivable amount of pain.

[@maheenahmed6653]

Do I think seeking revenge like that is healthy? Not really. But I also get it and don’t blame her for it and think op needs to keep their mouth shut.

[@diamcole]

Eh, I don’t know. I think it’s always a touch easier for people to hold on to that moral high ground when they’re on the outside looking in lol.

[@whitneybennett4857]

That's how I see it. Does the ex deserve all of this? Damn right he does, and I don't fault her for wanting to ruin him. I'd want to screw with his life, too, if he did that to ME. But I do think OP's thoughts really are coming from a place of concern toward her friend's mental health and not just a place of, "I think you need to stop being such a vengeful bitch." However, OP does need to just stay out of it because in the long run, I think this really is what the friend needs to be able to move on with her life.

[@undine608]

If the second story ever has an update, PLEASE cover it. There is something wack AF going on there

[@diamcole]

S1: OP is an interesting “friend”.

[@TopazFire15]

There are several stories of murder where the killer just… lives with the body, either in a fugue state or in a misguided attempt to pretend like nothing’s gone wrong. The woman’s answers make it seem like the husband is in jail for attempted/successful murder 😢

[@SXLLYSTRXNG]

Story 1: OP has never been horribly betrayed in their life & it shows LOL I can tell they’ve never had a single traumatic thing happen 2 them ever or they’re just really dense/clueless about empathy💀💀

[@lina9535]

Anyone recall that meme using the news report of "Florida man goes to hospital for headache, turns out wife tried to shoot him when he was sleeping"? Story 2 gave me that vibe

[@stellamccoy5259]

The only reason he married the coworker is because he didn't want to feel like he made a mistake. Both women need to stay away from him.

[@SapphWolf]

Story 1: OP's friend wants revenge for her baby. The shock of finding out about his affair caused her miscarriage and I wouldn't blame her if she puts the responsibility for their baby's death on his head. She is actively fucking up his life as a form of revenge.

[@kateworkman921]

Story 2 - How the hell did OP NOT call the police the night they heard what was suspected to be a single gunshot??? Why would they wait for what was it, over a week?, before calling for a welfare check??

[@invisigoth510]

Texas. Fireworks &gunshots go off constantly here no matter what kind of neighborhood you live in You don’t call the police for every little pop you hear unless you see the neighbor chasing someone down the street with a gun

[@itsbeckylmao9692]

They said they live in Texas. Even in larger municipalities, gunshots and fireworks aren't uncommon

[@fufufuaru]

the number of times my eyes rolled at the first OP. i wanted her to shut the F up so much. hope the friend ditches op.

[@DominosAndHearts]

Same

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Me too. If I were OP I would've been helping her plan and took her out to celebrate when everything was finished.

[@Warlady_]

Same

[@ComaLies225]

Yea seriously. The whole “ThIs SiTuAtIoN mAdE mE sO sAd!1!1!” Girl pleaseeee 🙄 🙄 🙄 Bestie shouldn’t care. She was hurt AND she lost a child. That’s a whole level of hurt you can’t really get over

[@chickensandwich8808]

​@@ComaLies225 yup. Why pay attention to a concerning pattern of behavior that shows unhealthy coping mechanisms? What a horrible friend for actually being disturbed at her other friends personality turn. Look. Not going to begrudge OP's friend, she has been traumatized. But we learn very early on that revenge doesn't heal trauma. It's a momentary high, and it can be all consuming at times or reinforce the awful emotional baggage. OP was misguided in thinking talking tk the Ex was a gokd idea? But being worried about just how far her friend was willing to go for revenge isn't out of left field. The lady was gearing up for a protracted situation. That speaks to an unhealthy method for dealing with her grief and anger. The fact comments want to see cheaters get punished more than those who were cheated on getting help and living their lives well is baffling to me. It says more about y'all.

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: If that guy divorces his mistress, then thats solely on him And tbh the mistress doesn't deserve any better for deliberately going after a married man The friend did what she did to get atleast some peace and revenge for her miscarriage

[@Batmanapplejax]

“Living well is the best revenge” feels a lot like “be the bigger person” when you’ve been betrayed. Let the person suffering say that after the fact. “I chose to be the better person, I decided that living well was the best revenge.” Don’t give it as advice. All it says is “your pain doesn’t matter. Swallow it to maintain the peace of everyone around you.” Even if that wasn’t the intention

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: Being cheated on changes a person. I had a guy friend who was super sweet. He really made his gf feel special. And she used him for what he could get her, while cheating on him. He turned into one of those "I'm just going to hit it and quit it, take what I can get (give nothing back) and use women left and right" fuckboy types. It was so sad to see him turn into that, and honestly, it killed our friendship, because that's not the kind of person I want in my life, who is going to treat others around them like that. I've also been cheated on, and it changed me, too. I'm jaded and I don't trust people easily. But at the end of the day, I had to make a decision about what kind of person I was going to be, and I decided my ex wasn't going to be allowed to drag me down into the mud with him.

[@benjie128]

I had to kinda laugh when OP stated they'd posted on the ring app about hearing a gunshot. I'm also in Texas and every other day there's someone posting asking if others heard gunshots. It not uncommon. The other post that seems to keep repeating is the question of the sirens going off. First Wednesday of every month, they test the storm sirens. They're to warn us to take cover for tornados, which are not only a springtime phenomenon as we get them year round. And the moment a tornado is touching down is not the time to realize the siren doesn't work.

[@averycheesypotato]

Story 2 is messed up- not on the OP’s end, but just the nonchalance of the police. If someone is either dead or possibly alive but too injured to get help, nothing can be done? No other avenues to check? Can some kind of probable cause/emergency warrant be used to make sure?

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

All I can hear in my head is the Brandy & Monica song "The Boy is Mine". 😅😅😅

[@heathermiller5765]

Lol such a good song 😄

[@Raaslen]

Story 1: OP seems like the kind of people who would say "wou should forgive them because they are FaMiLy"

[@srsmedic8285]

When I came back from Iraq my wife mentioned that she had been finding cockroaches in our kitchen all week… I went to get a drink in the middle of the night and got a whiff of a smell.. one that I got acquainted with on my deployment.. I went to the apartment manager the next morning and said they need to check the apartment on the diagonal from mine(corners touching) they did… 5 days later.. he’d beeen dead for two weeks.. the smell had become unbearable at that point.. at that point my wife could smell it

[@kateajurors8640]

6:44 I think OP needs to realize that their friend literally was cheated on while pregnant.And then the baby ripped out of her womb due to the stress that the afair caused. She got her pound of flesh and is moving on now.

[@rachaeldumas7432]

So, I've noticed that Markee has stopped saying "And now, on to the update!" Guys, Connor has officially assumed our Aussie hubby's identity! Please Trousers, halp! You'll get treats and scritches. (Totally not a bribe)! #FreeMarkee

[@andrelini]

s1: with that kind of friend who needs enemies, she lacks any sense of empathy and has a huge napoleon complex about being in the right, going as far as almost including herself in other people's drama

[@terrieBTSOT7]

My thing is that it's not OP'S business. She needs to tell friend that she can't tell her about this stuff because is a weight on OP'S mind. OP can't control friend so let it go

[@sammieh9695]

Story 3 A lot of people leave a TV and some lights on when they go on vacation. Still waiting for the resolution but my first thought.

[@dm9078]

Why would this woman consider for one second betraying her friend for a guy who broke his friends heart? YTA for even thinking this. Actually calling this person an asshole is an insult assholes. Edit the friend didn’t handle this like a boss. She didn’t handle like a queen she handled this like the baddest empress in the history of empresses! But man, I would hate to get on her bad side!

[@forthebeans]

There’s a phrase that goes something like “don’t be a b word to kind people cause they’ll rip your life apart in the most inconspicuous way possible and you should fear them”. Something like that. Story 1 OP seems worried about their friend’s vindictive side even though they’ve stated themselves they never saw it until her husband cheated on her and caused a miscarriage. Seems like nothing to worry about unless you’ve screwed her over. I’m happy for her, personally.

[@MariaPlacido-b7s]

Good Tuesday Morning Markee and Fans. Sending good vibes to all from Toronto Ontario Canada at 6:12AM 😊

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Good morning and have a wonderful day from Louisiana 🐊

[@OKAYOKAY420]

I don't think revenge is a good idea. I personally would mind my business and distance myself from her as a friend. I don't think the ex is a good person and he was playing with fire. I was cheated on by my ex husband. But I'm not trying to get revenge because I'm sure it'll probably only be temporary happiness. All that being said, I like listening to other people's drama as I prefer to have none of my own. So I am happy it happened in a way lol. 😂

[@jake8748]

The comment for S1 about the damage cheating can cause is quite spot on. A therapist I was getting help from had helped alot of people. One of things he had noticed from women was many who had also suffered SA in their lives actually stated they'd prefer to go through that again then have their husband cheat on them. I cant comment on the accuracy of that as im neither a woman nor have I been SA'd. But out of the crap ive had in my life, it was by far the most damaging and destructive incident for me. Me personally. It partly cost me my military career due to mental health, and 9 years of depression and anxiety. Nearly ended myself more than once. Im slightly better these days but it took a long time. And I doubt ill ever be my old self ever again. That person had confidence and hopes and dreams.

[@YellaBellaReno]

S1: I get that revenge can be sweet, but I’ve never felt good about directly dealing out the consequences myself. I prefer to let karma do that work for me, and so far… it always has. Besides, I don’t want to be the target of someone else’s revenge. I realize it’s a small chance, but I don’t care to be stalked or murdered for blowing up someone’s life. I’ve never thought of that as me being a doormat; It’s not like I won’t hold people accountable or let the consequences of their own actions hit them in the ass. Like, I’ll still report you/fire you/divorce you/etc, if that makes sense…. I just won’t be masterminding my own unique punishments. Still… I kind of admire her dedication. I _hate_ lying, and I don’t think I could have pulled this off.

[@GeraldH-g8t]

first op is such a goodie two shoes. Her "friend" had a miscarriage because this man played her like a clown and here she is calling her a bad person for giving him an ounce back????? Imagine going "Oh, I'm not gonna let her get this revenge because it makes me feel uneasy". I hope OP stays away from the friend, the friend deserves better.

[@mattiekarwin3667]

Maybe I'm being drawn into the words of an OP again, but I do get why she felt it was too far. Which is weird because it wasn't too far and I know that. I just know that in OPs place I'd be terrified of that friend and attempt to ghost her, as I'd be afraid admitting why I was cutting the friendship would trigger the exact thing I'm afraid of. I can't be friends with someone if I'm afraid accidentally tripping them in public will result in my house being burned down in vengeance. I know cheating is horrible and the asshole did deserve it, but OP knows the friend better than anyone replying to her post. If she's THIS deeply unsettled then I don't believe the situation is actually as normal and sane as reddit and youtube assume.

[@VidGirl88]

S1: grab the popcorn, and be there for your friend post serving up karma. Advise friend on therapy afterwards if needed. Cheated on and losing a pregnancy scars your mental health

[@Phenomenal5266]

Story 1- OP sucks as a friend,why is she so bothered by what will happen to the ex husband? I love the ex wife in this story because she took her revenge and can now move on. Just support your friend.

[@jakemarie828]

I love revenge stories. Being the bigger person has done nothing for me but cripple my self-worth. Stand up for yourself if no one esle will.

[@bonjourputas]

I had to learn the same lesson. Be the bigger person = lay flatter doormat.

[@fritzophreenia]

Story 1 OP feels like they are the main character in someone else's story.

[@OTDinosaurScrubs]

That friend is a genius mastermind

[@mbyerly9680]

Calling the police for a health check requires nothing but a phone call. Call the dang police instead of chatting about it on Reddit.

[@stephe1506]

Op's friends ex husband is living his FAFO season, and I love that for him

[@lasmirandadennsiewillja9435]

Last Story: OOP should grab his lazy buddy neighbour and crazy ex-military neighbour and go investigate. Especially if new neighbours recently moved into another house across the street. They should check the basement for a furnace. Or maybe I should just rewatch The Burbs. It's a fun quirky movie with Tom Hanks, take this as a recommendation.

[@StephBer1]

Ther reason you don't understand you friend OP is that you obviously haven't been hurt like you friend. "She loved him so much". Yeah, and then he took that love and spat on it. She lost her baby. She lost the love of her life. And the bitch AP was gloating about it. Honestly, that sort of hurt and betrayal will turn anyone's love to hate. She HATES him now. You can't impose your life experiences onto hers. Get over yourself. Honestly, I'm not a vengeful woman, but I would have helped OPs friend out with the plan. He took everything from her. Is he going to take your friendship as well?

[@saliraalice521]

The idea that the friend would go through something like that and NOT CHANGE is ridiculous. Stop pressuring people, especially women, to be kind when somethint awful happens. She was well within limits of sane revenge. And i just have a strong feeling he was the one messaging her first considering how quickly he switched.

[@TheDarwinProject1]

Easiest way to see if a neighbor is potentially dead in their home is to check their mailbox (assuming they dont have a lock on it or a mail slot in the door. Its very common for people on vacation to keep the radio/tv/lights on, but those same people will likely put the mail/newspapers (granted, most people no longer get a newspaper) on hold with the those services. If the mail/newspapers have started to back up AND the tv/radio/lights are always on, thats a big red flag that they may be dead inside. You can also double check with immediate neighbors to their other side/across the street, as those would be the people who might be passively watching the home & were notified that they went on vacation. Its not abnormal for people to go away for a month or more if they're retired or live in a country with good medical leave. August is a very common month for people in Europe to be on vacation for a month or more. Its also a good idea to be more aware of homes that lack movement after any electricity outage or any severe weather warnings, as someone having a medical emergency will have even less time to be found. If during extreme heat, you can often check if the AC is on at an outside unit. Also, if the neighbor has animals, you can check if a dog door is open & any animal activity seen should also correspond with a pet sitter coming at least once a week for cats & daily for a dog. There is definitely more urgency in there situations when things are off! Even if neighbors don't have social media, if you know their phone number, ages, address, etc., you can often find names related to theirs with a free background check & then try to look up relatives of theirs that match the city/state/ages listed in the background check. A single gunshot doesn't guarantee murder, though. A gun could accidentally go off or a couple may have a su1c1de pact, where women typically choose poison & men guns or hanging. In this case, perhaps the gun shot was the female neighbor defending herself against her male partner from being beaten. 😢 Or maybe the gun shot was completely unrelated & the couple got in a car accident after he was driving drunk?

[@MysticMae21]

My area doesn't have mailboxes. We live on a private road on a private road, so all the mailboxes are just off the main one on the public road. We have a po box ourselves.

[@patriciaorellana6469]

Story 1: Pro Revenge? Nuclear Revenge?

[@sardiniegenie]

If the sweetest person you know does something that seemingly cruel, then someone must have deeply wronged them to deserve the treatment.

[@SillyTeaSeal]

Like always, drinking some tea while listening markee

[@Markee]

I’m drinking tea also this time

[@SillyTeaSeal]

@@Markee Hell yeah :D

[@jakeand9020]

Honestly, IMO that was the perfect level of revenge. The friend did nothing but expose the cheating ex for the worthless POS he is, and no pity whatsoever for him OR the homewrecker. If anything she just learned if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.

[@Carehuea]

OP needs to get off her high moralistic horse and learn the difference between revenge and Justice…. People who do extremely shitty things deserve consequences for their actions and OP should not feel “bad” for the narcissistic, cheating ex after all he put OP’s best friend through, and should instead stand by her friend whether she agrees with what’s going on or not…

[@RockCollector201]

Mornin markee, thank you for my morning drama stories~ 😂

[@aanchal19puri]

Vengence is the best therapy. It allows you to move on and forgive. I will never understand why people think it is a bad thing, maybe it is made by the people who believes 'I can do anything I want and then say sorry, and if you don't accept my sorry you are vendictive, unmercififul, bitter and wrong' You punch me, be ready to have your face smacked too. It is neither karma nor vengeance. It is a natural consequence.

[@chickensandwich8808]

This is a gross and toxic comment.

[@aanchal19puri]

@@chickensandwich8808 Maybe be it is but that doesn't make it less true... Every gross thing is not a wrong thing.

[@Stormdraka]

I disagree its the "best therapy", I think it shows whatever happened (which I am not, nor I think anyone else is really trying to say its not bad or doesn't make us angry) messed you up so bad it changed the person you were, which I think is what the OP of the first one was worried about. It isn't that she doesn't think her friend isn't in the "right" for getting her vengeance, its that the experience changed her to the point she did, becoming a bitter person. The person who caused you hurt lives in your head from that point on without even doing anything. Think about it on a physical hurt level, how do you heal from it? Hurting back what hurt you? Or removing what hurt you from the wound, cleaning it and giving it time to close and heal?

[@aanchal19puri]

@@Stormdraka can't deny this thought process

[@gremlininblue2601]

​@@chickensandwich8808So you're just going to stand there while they punch you and tell them thank you? Get tf outta here with that bs

[@nansi2u]

A wonderful person I know was dead in her garage for about 5 days. The postal worker knew her habits and he knew something was wrong and called the police.

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Hey Markee 👋 Have a terrific day 👍🤗 Have a great day everyone 👋 🤗

[@MidnaNightengale]

Story 1: In my personal opinion, NTA for simply thinking this is going a bit too far, YBTA if you jumped in, and interfered though. OP's friend needs some therapy seriously though. They're never going to properly move on, if they can't stop meddling in their Ex's life. Worse yet, if they stay on their current path, they're guaranteed to turn into an arguably worse person than their Ex. Don't interfere with the petty revenge, but do get them some help, and maybe some grief counciling. They clearly aren't coping well.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, you called the police they "investigated" and found nothing. After two weeks, if they were dead in the house, you would definitely smell it.

[@littlegreycat]

Sadly it was attempted murder by the sounds of it. Im glad the OP was keeping tabs on the place.

[@morganleanderblake678]

rofl Markee the amount of times you've cheered on nuclear revenge makes 10:35 kind of silly. c'mon man, have some grounding.

[@katiecakesl4691]

Story 1: OP doesn't understand that her friend went through something horrific. The lack of empathy from OP is really upsetting. The friend was cheated on, while pregnant, lost the child and the man she loved and trusted. That's a lot of trauma all at once. It is normal that she will never be the same person, and it is normal to want to burn his world to the ground. OP also has this friend on some weird purity pedestal, which is unhealthy. We are all capable of cruelty, especially when we have nothing to lose. Though I think most people would find this 'cruelty' to be more than justified, and honestly a lot of us would do a lot worse to that garbage pathetic excuse for a man.

[@DarkDreamsAndMoonlitNights]

I laughed when he said about Filet-O-Fish. 😂

[@JettSettingBengal]

S1: Op needs to mind their own business. You’ll never know what she went through. Op is super judgmental. She lost her baby because of him.

[@radsjet]

Gona be honest here, i disagree with the notion of living your best life being the best revenge, its not even a form of justice. The most important part is being able to move on in a way thats best for you You can go get ripped at the gym and become a billionare, that still dont mean you moved on, you can still sit there and fell like you never got any justice and fell misreable. If it was me i would need to atleast shout my pain at the other person, even if they dont care, just to get it off my chest. To me op's friend was less after revenge and more after proving something to herself, she needed the affair partner to know she was not some winner, she needed the people in her life to know hes a shit person who would leave anyone, and she needed him to fell some pain back. To me this is her finally being able to move on, she finally said her piece in the only way that could satisfy that ugly knot forming in her chest, she can now finally live her best life and also be happy.