My Wife Treats Me Like Her Cash Cow

My Wife Treats Me Like Her Cash Cow
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[@sweetfayce18]

I went from thinking he’s a terrible person to feeling sorry for him. Financial anxiety and depression is real

[@BboyRacing]

When you have someone next to you who isnt on the same page is even worse.

[@skaziblu]

​@@BboyRacingyou missed it.. he's creating a home that's hard to win in. Nothings good enough

[@Zoooooooooooo]

How would you even think he’d terrible

[@backyardhooper06]

​@skaziblu how? The wife ain't pulling her weight. The wife blamed him for their suicidal daughter. Why can't he be frustrated with his wife?

[@brandyk]

​@@skaziblu I don't think we missed it. There are many ways to see this situation and we don't have all the details. John has his way of reading it but he too is far from an expert and I'm sure he would acknowledge it.

[@elizabetha8565]

I think I get what he is TRYING to say. I grew up dirt poor and I've really built something amazing and my husband is just racking up debt and acts like he could not care less. It's overwhelming.

[@cutehumor]

dr. balony would say you are the problem hahaha

[@NoneYa-pg6dk]

i think a lot of us understand the frustration. i'm in the same boat, always trying to save my husband's problem. during the process of healing, i realized I wasn't allowing my husband to be an adult and take responsibility of his mess. i slowly backed off from his problems and i guess i was giving him too little of the benefit in the past. he's becoming more and more responsible. i don't believe we'll ever hit utopia, but i like what i am seeing so far. best of luck to you.

[@texan903]

Cut off your husband's spending until he reins himself in. Give him an allowance. Anything beyond the allowance should call for a discussion. Limit his credit and debit cards. If necessary, have him take a Lyft or Doordash route.

[@alstroemeria227again4]

My husband built something and he’s constantly getting himself in trouble with debt because he wants more. And I bail him out.

[@cathy7824]

Cut him off. I've been you, it's not going to end well. If he loves you he'll get on board with you because he cares about the family.

[@Cosmicvzn]

This guy even gave me anxiety listening to him!! But damn what actually lies beneath him makes completely sense, feel sorry for the dude. Hope he finds peace

[@daCubanaqt]

Me too. He cannot properly communicate and sounds a bit depressed. He is anxious because he doesn’t feel supported, but doesn’t know how to say it. I feel bad for him and his wife. They need to learn how to talk and compromise. If they can’t, then they need to move on.

[@soulanstreets222]

It's not that he doesn't feel supported...it's that he feels anxious because his wife doesn't feel the same thing he does. He's not actually being honest with her that he's struggling with anxiety and feeling anxious about it. So when she rightfully says that things are financially solvent, he thinks she's dismissing him when in fact he's not really expressing what's going on with him. She's not a mind reader. If the budget is in the black or green...why would she pretend as if it's in the red? @@daCubanaqt

[@not-even-german4892]

He can fully communicate however he wanted to lie

[@suds9365]

@@not-even-german4892??? What?? When??

[@TASmith-ou3is]

10 yrs to finish a bachelor's?

[@fdoeppen]

Wow, this man is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders! God please give him the wisdom and the strength to be the person he needs to be.

[@debbielockhart7762]

I thunk he's creating a lot of stress for himself. He really needs to chill a bit. I got a knot in my stomach just listening to his anger. His wife sounds depressed to me.

[@thabsmkhize2481]

@@debbielockhart7762 I really felt for this man too. I think I have more drive than my fiancé and I won’t lie, sometimes it worries me. The work ethic, courage to follow through with goals and discipline to be financially responsible. All you want is for your partner to pull their weight. That’s all. And I sympathise with this man.

[@avvery8593]

@@debbielockhart7762 thats like saying depressed people are making themselves sad. Trauma of your daughter being assaulted can result in anxiety and anger, just like sadness does.

[@danielasartor8229]

He's carrying the weight of a family that has too many kids and a wife who feels entitled

[@IMBLESSED-oe6dl]

Being around him do u blame her? Lol

[@luisvargas1520]

Man I’m just 22 not married or anything and these episodes are therapy even for me

[@oroville12345]

Don't get married it's a big scam just hear this caller....

[@khanhcao3123]

Run man. They are not worth it.

[@jshepard152]

Stay single. Most women are a financial and emotional burden.

[@oroville12345]

@@jshepard152 facts My rule is if her credit score is below 850 she's not Worth it.

[@luisfernando5998]

@@oroville12345if her body count is greater than 0 then that belongs to the streets

[@SJ-qf2tz]

Man I went from thinking this guy was a tool to feeling so much empathy for him all in about 6 minutes. People are really complex and you cant just look a the surface emotion man. This was so eye opening

[@sarahalderman3126]

Yeah more like the opposite. He’s off his rocker. Thank goodness shes finished school because she’s going to need it. That man is a tool for certain.

[@runnerupcsal8241]

Honest question here what does "this man is a tool" mean? Whats a tool in that context?

[@atreyuXx2]

@@runnerupcsal8241 tool in this context = jerk

[@fabiolatorres4020]

​@@runnerupcsal8241 an idiot.

[@fh1980ram]

​@runnerupcsal8241 it means that he's a jerk.

[@solc.2318]

Being home with 4 kids is NOT a summer vacation

[@sherriflemming3218]

Exactly. That's a full time job. Unpaid labour. Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

[@J-B-P]

I agree with you, but to play Devil’s advocate, he said “summer vacation” because she works at a school and the kids all go to school for the majority of the year. The July-August break from school is commonly called summer vacation.

[@christinaburkemper3105]

The collective at home parents GROANED when he said she just sat around all day with a range of toddler to teenager all summer with kids. How dense and disrespectful can you be as a husband!

[@user-rj1hz4sg8r]

Womp womp life they choose

[@johnspence5689]

I didn’t know a vacation meant you just get rid of your kids for the summer

[@jakeadams5741]

with 4 kids, she's definitely not just sitting at home all day watching TV

[@kyleelawson3029]

trust dawg, she is. -her step daughter, unfortunately.

[@DirtySouth69]

Bahahaha. The oldest is 15 lolol. Who you think is doing the house work?

[@Bethelgal42]

Definitely not. I have 4 kids between 10 and 5. Unless that TV is Disney Plus and Bluey, she isn't watching TV all day.

[@Pfffffddddj162]

@@kyleelawson3029sorry you were doxxed in this episode. Confirms that this podcast doesn’t respect anonymity enough.

[@kyleelawson3029]

@@Pfffffddddj162 well yes but at the same time my dad is the one who told me to watch these. why? no clue. but he did lmaooo

[@himynameiswaylon]

My blood pressure went through the roof listening to this call. I can't imagine how tense I'd feel living in that home. I hope for his family's sake he finds some peace.

[@imonlyheretoarguewithidiots]

His wife is 90% of the problem

[@shannon2740]

@@imonlyheretoarguewithidiots how do you know this? She works full time. Has four kids and has been a part time student on top of that for 10 years while having 4 babies during that time

[@imonlyheretoarguewithidiots]

@@shannon2740 let's examine the statements just for starters. I think "part time student for ten years" says a lot lol. You can read my full comments in the comment thread. This woman is bad news.

[@Halaria13]

True that

[@anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788]

@@imonlyheretoarguewithidiots I think you are right mate. Even if we consider that having 4 babies while working and "studying", let's say we take a year per baby, that's 6 years to complete 60 hours. That's 10 hours a year! She might have mental health issues and finds life overwhelming. She needs help. Something is not right with the wife. She didn't work during the summer even though "they" are paying debt. She's not supporting him. However, listening to this man, I know he's a lot. He probably comes back home all frustrated already and pays little attention to the kids. They both need a reality check.

[@Paradoxology17]

Healing is contagious. As he gets better, he’ll start seeing a side of his wife that he’s never seen before. This episode was deep.

[@Kermit46]

The wife is lazy and trash. He needs to divorce her

[@BboyRacing]

But she still needs to get up and contribute to this marriage. I feel him. Ive been there unfortunately.

[@somethingclever8916]

Most people dont want to heal. It's easier to blame other and be a victim. As long as being a victim is profitable (financial, emotional, attention) some will stay a victim until the day they die. And probably carry that into the afterlife

[@TrishDigginsDesign]

@@BboyRacingwhat more? She keeps four kids, a full time job, and went to college while doing all that. I don’t see how that’s doing nothing. It may not be what he wants - should she get a second job to pay for daycare for the younger kids while the teenager(s?) runs unsupervised and wild during the summer?

[@ORSkie]

​@TrishDigginsDesign right?! She's been swamped, with a judgmental man telling her that everything she does is worthless.

[@lorim2000]

This was a great call. Digging into the caller’s core emotions instead of harping on her behavior was interesting to see unfold.

[@Magroot0914]

I agree. At first I wanted to call that guy an a-hole and then it kind of broke my heart.

[@rizoo2098]

Shout out to all the dads/ husbands out there providing for their families for 30+ years and never complaining about it once.

[@katemiller7874]

Absolutely.

[@cookinsteve9281]

I’ll take “Humans That Don’t Exist” for $500. You want a slave to stand around and absorb all the bullshit, not a husband. Communicating is very important.

[@grreeeeee]

they always complain about it. they take it out on their wives and kids in weird ways and everyone resents them. being vulnerable is the only way to be a good dad.

[@fishincognito]

Yep. Real men

[@watermelonlover745]

​@@cookinsteve9281they do exist.

[@cess4089]

I actually like this caller. I totally understand the feeling of financial fears. I respect my husband’s feelings and anxiety about money. We go over a budget together and set boundaries and I want him to feel like he has a help mate not a dead weight.

[@skincareceo]

I feel like you're the only person who got it right, he's the ship, but his wife should be the anchor.

[@JKNat9004]

Yeah, I got the feeling he has a strong work ethic and intends to be a provider, but he wasn't seeing the stress his wife was going through at the same time.

[@HALFAMAZINGTV]

@@JKNat9004 If all things are considered, the we should take into account the fact that the wife is NOT supportive of his financial concerns as he expressed in the call. She doesn't have a sense of urgency, which is what men of his caliber needs. she doesn't need to be the breadwinner, but follow through on your goals and be understanding when the husband has some concerns regarding the future of the family.

[@jacobwiebe1460]

@@HALFAMAZINGTVexactly. I could easily look past the fact that it took her more time to get the bachelors degree. But no 7 times as much time. So he may be burnt out and frustrated, but she is most certainly not helping the situation at all. She’s only laying it on thicker. I get where he’s coming from.

[@ChristianOne]

I agree about how she could help with budgeting and everything. But I grew up with a stay at home mom and THAT was her being an anchor for the family and anyone who thinks raising 4 kids is "not working" has lost their mind. I find it absolutely INSANE the expectations that are put on women these days. My dad ADORED my mom and HAPPILY and GRATEFULLY paid for everything. It was his JOY to spoil my mom...surprise her with new clothes, dates, flowers, meals out, dancing, new housing etc. Put all the kids in FULL TIME daycare for the summer and see how much that adds up to...she is contributing AT LEAST that much. Now hire a maid and a cook for the summer. If she is not a 100% slob/hoarder/non-cook.... Then she is doing those jobs at least part time. Add those part time salaries up...she is doing AT LEAST that much of a contribution. I bet it adds up to WAY more than 40k per year that he CLAIMS he would be so happy with. Then add dealing with a rage filled, anxiety riddled, unappreciative partner...that can literally make a person sick to be around. Yes, they need to VALUE each other, and help each other...and find solutions without blame. If he couldn't support a family/childcare then why in the heck did they decide to have a family? What do men think providing for a family MEANS???????

[@tripleekitchen...6676]

We really need to hear from his wife. Her side of the story.

[@catherinenelson4162]

We don't really, because this is their marriage, not a spectator sport. The person who does need to hear both sides would be a counselor - one they both go to.

[@hansonallie]

The fact that it’s on a universally accessible podcast certainly opens it up for us listening to speculate! 😅 Not saying it’s “woke” but hey 🤷‍♀️

[@franziskani]

We did hear. Between the lines. That man completly denies her contribution. And on top calls her lazy.

[@ImCantuxxx]

@@catherinenelson4162lmao you mean going to a certified idiot ? Lmao they get paid to hear your bs lol take they’re paycheck away and they wouldn’t give a F which means it’s a waste of time it’s joke a scam grow up and solve your own problems if you go to counseling your WEAK and a CHILD toughen up and figure it out

[@littleme3597]

@@franziskani Bingo. He didn't have 3 kids from his body.

[@dy9278]

I think wifey is taking a beating. Not everyone is capable of earning 60 credits in 1 - 2 years while raising a family, holding down a job, taking care of a home and husband that is on the edge

[@raflim]

10 years

[@suds9365]

If it took 3-4 years that’s understandable but 10 YEARS??? It’s perfectly unstable why he’s upset

[@dy9278]

@suds9365 Money, energy, and time considerations come into play when you are currently putting in overtime plus for two jobs.

[@rheinhartsilvento2576]

​@frleaks6482 You didn't listen: she already IS working as a teacher's assistant or whatever - all school year.

[@frleaks6482]

@@rheinhartsilvento2576 summer job

[@longstoryshorts6249]

The ability of Dr. Delony to see through, no matter what the callers situation or initial description of it, to see the actual reason and pain is incredible! Not just in this episode of the show, but at any call he received. He is listening to what a person has to say and sees what is behind and real reason or problem is. Thank you so much for this show! ❤

[@sobeliever1638]

I get what he means by desperate. People who struggle with money have a better appreciation of its value rather than those who never felt uncomfortable.

[@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607]

💯 💯💯💯💯

[@beccadotelpy]

They also have more anxiety when they are actually ok financially b/c they know it can all go away and that anxiety can be suffocating but we call it being realistic. I know b/c I am that way.

[@LuluBeLulu]

The flip side is that they frequently struggle with financial anxiety and, even if they're doing well enough, still feel as if they are struggling to stay afloat because that's all they've ever known. Then people who've never had to experience that see that their needs are met and that there is some level of financial security and feel comfortable. Then the financially anxious get frustrated when everyone around them doesn't participate in that anxiety

[@Gemmarose9012]

@@LuluBeLuluThat’s what therapy is for.

[@Jinger17]

@@LuluBeLuluyes!! My husband frees up with not much $$. He is 45 and has a really good job and never seems to be able to accept that We as a family are o.k. And I did not grow up like that so he gets mad at Me for not having the anxiety You mention.

[@annakitchen8692]

You can't put a price on a parent being home with 4 kids. There has to be adult supervision. She's working most of the year, 4 kids and school, yes, it's gonna take a long time! Classes are not always available when it's convenient for your schedule.

[@reeseerhardt7052]

Mom is taking care of FOUR kids, works, cooks, cleans, car pools, doctor appointments. Dads have no idea how much time and effort this takes. His issues are more within him than what his wife is doing

[@evanl889]

She doesn’t work. He even said that. She goes to school during the school year and takes the summers off. She also took 10 years to get an 18 month degree.

[@reeseerhardt7052]

@@evanl889 men don’t understand the amount of work it takes running a house and being responsible for 4 kids

[@harryhayward4841]

@@reeseerhardt7052what a stupid comment, there are countless male primary care givers and just as many women working to provide, anyone with half a brain would be annoyed at an 18 month degree taking a decade take your misandry somewhere else

[@killafish2697]

@@reeseerhardt7052he was literally explaining to us how she doesn’t take care of the house and just sits around watching tv lol

[@user-pm9tk4tf5k]

So stop failing the test and wasting money down the drain. It has nothing to do with cooking and cleaning. It also probably was her idea to have 4 kids , not his

[@beebeelicious]

His story does not add up. He complains that she doesn't work, but then states that she works in a school and then she looks after the kids during hols.

[@ceewng5042]

Works, 4 kids, getting a bachelor's. Sounds like work to me. I laughed when he claimed she watches TV all day. That sounds not possible.

[@brendondowdy5651]

Selective hearing. He also said shes been working on this basic degree for 10 years lol making 0 money

[@americanart2003]

I’m confused with that as well

[@kalikiller1771]

She's not working during the summer because she's a teacher. My friend's wife works at a school the seasonal money puts more stress on him.

[@philp7648]

He said she works at the school but clearly said she refused to work this last school year i guess u didnt catch that

[@lilarose9348]

This guy is stressed and burnt out. He must feel like he’s drowning. She’s taken 10 yrs to get her bachelors degree but she has 4 kids and he works a ton of hours so she most likely takes one class a semester to balance all of her responsibilities. I don’t think that means it’s not her dream career. This poor man needs to save his life and get intense therapy to heal his trauma 🙏

[@tomoates8568]

@SOUL SEEKER Yup, I'm alone at 30 and my life is great lol. Nothing but peace. The most stressed out and mentally unhealthy portions of my life have been when I was in relationships

[@kellharris2491]

4 kids in 10 years while getting a degree is very hard. And she works fulltime.

[@randykinder2736]

@@kellharris2491 excuses.

[@AshleyLebedev]

@SOUL SEEKER it’s not about want. It’s about need.

[@pb-gv1nc]

😅 9:42 😅😅😅😅😅 9:42 9:42😊😊 9:42 9:42

[@lynnebucher6537]

She's popped out 4 kids while in school and working also. How many spare hours in a day does he think she has?

[@SandraStachowiczLtd]

Enough to watch soap operas all day long in summer time lol

[@franziskani]

@@SandraStachowiczLtd We have to take his word for it. he obviously does not participate in daily chores and has no idea how much time it takes. And: If he ever saw her folding laundry while the TV was running, that was her "watching TV all day long".

[@WesM757]

​@franziskani No he is an adult, before he got married and kids. He washed clothes, made his own meals. Listen to what he says... He comes home with a dirty house... If you can take the wife's side you should also take the husband's side also. 10 years for 6 credits is insane. They are drowning in debt and she thinks they are fine with 50 bucks in savings. 4 kids and parents... 50 bucks!!! He should have never had children with this women. You are screwed.

[@sharroon7574]

Yeah, it's a lot to ask from a woman. It makes me sad what some people expect from women with children, especially 4 of them.

[@debwinkelman762]

He isn't getting any that's his problem, o and he sounds like a b****** instead of helping

[@karenholt8441]

I love how you ‘weasel’ out the REAL deal of what’s actually going on. This went from “my wife thinks I’m a cash cow!” To an absolutely broken, hurting, husband & father, who is working so hard on the outside but needs so much more on the inside. And his daughter now at age 15, NEEDS her dad more than ever and it sounds like she’s testing him to see if he will reject her and prove that she’s the worthless human that she thinks she is. He needs some regular date nights with her, so she knows he’s her safety zone not her deserter!

[@kyleelawson3029]

hi i am the daughter in question. i just wanted to make it clear that i NEVER once blamed my dad. i actually blamed his wife and my own mother. now i realize there is no one to blame but myself. i love my dad and i will never understand why he thinks i hate him 😕

[@nathanroark3339]

This women is a loser and sometimes I don't think john truly understands how women sometimes suck and they always seem to side with the wives and girlfriends even when they are clearly wrong

[@johnmcmanus2447]

​@kyleelawson3029 I hope you're doing better now, Kylee. I've had those thoughts too. I never acted on them, but I thought about ending it as well. Just know you're loved. Wishing you all the best

[@soulanstreets222]

He probably thinks that you hate him because he's blaming himself. If you have your own children some day, you will understand what it feels like to have such an unimaginable amount of love and affection for a small being that you helped make, and watching that being grow up under your care. He is your father....and he might feel guilty because when you needed protection the most, he was not there and he feels responsible for that. He might feel as though he failed you. He mentioned a letter you wrote him when you were 12...and from his perspective, all those feelings you put in that letter reaching out to him, seeking him, might have felt to him like it was confirming that he couldn't protect you. When you tried to delete yourself...twice....he felt responsible because he couldn't' protect you. Now he probably hates and resents himself for it...because like he said on the call, he doesn't know how to reconcile those feelings and recognize he's not at fault. @@kyleelawson3029

[@kyleelawson3029]

@@soulanstreets222 i understand that 100%. but i didn’t ever write a letter to him. i don’t know why he says i did because i didnt. i remember being asked to write one letter to all 4 of my parents and thats what i did. but i know he hates himself for everything that happened and it sucks.

[@anairam1950]

Oh man!! As soon as he said "well my wife just stays at home and watches daytime television" i was like oh no he didnt just say that!!

[@sammadlin8868]

Ya, 4 kids ranging from 5-15 and he says he works 70 hours a week? Sounds like he doesn’t have much of an idea of what she’s really up to. Who is staying with these kids over the summer when they’re out of school and he’s at work 70 hours a week?

[@kdphotos4691]

@@sammadlin8868 - I don't believe him. Why should anyone believe him? He complained about his ex and now he complains about his current wife and then he will complain about his next wife and so on. This guy will always blame others for HIS choices. He chose these women.

[@jacksquat4140]

@@kdphotos4691 : It sounds like he should sign up with MTGOW and be done with it. In this day and age, marriage has lost most of its significance.

[@jacksquat4140]

Why did you say "Oh no, he didn't just say that?" Do you believe all wives are created equal? Do you believe women walk on water? You seem to be following a false, self serving, sexist stereotype. I've seen a lot of shitty mothers in my day, and I've seen some real shitty wives, so please advise.

[@Vhhandle]

Looking after 4 kids is not a joke it’s hard work 😓 You can even begin to comprehend until she leaves then with you for 3 days straight no help

[@rickardotorres]

Calling all men everywhere… it’s perfectly ok to be vulnerable and scared. This one ☝🏽 cut deep. I was not ready for the depth of this pain, shame and guilt. Thank you Dr. Delony for your gift of this podcast for Brian and all of us out here looking for help.

[@linhaton4957]

He should be proud that he provides enough for his wife to be at home to care for the children all summer.

[@YASMINOGBU]

Yep ✨👌

[@wil404]

You're forgetting the 10 year student debt.

[@MrRolloBaggins]

She should be working to pay off her debt. She should be more thankful

[@vsand9798]

That like a big corporation telling the underpaid employees they should be grateful they have a job. He feels under appreciated, that is the wife’s failure.

[@notyourtypicalcomment2399]

@@MrRolloBagginsshe only didn’t work for the 3 months, she went to school and worked and raised the children. He said she works just didn’t work 3 months.

[@tina22tina]

This poor man. I feel bad for him and for his family and especially his daughter for the pain she has. She needs her Dad glad he called and got some help and guidance.

[@tina22tina]

Actually cried for this man with this show. Wow how deep.

[@eleanorwalmsley635]

The guidance was beyond poor

[@lbslott]

I’m so sorry that happened to his daughter. 😢

[@kristydickens1283]

This sounds like my husband when he was deeeep in anxiety and depression. It was actually hard to listen to for me because it brought up some not great emotions and memories for me. Dr John impresses me with his ability to cut through the bull and get to the heart of things.

[@isay207]

I think the wife's depressed he's carrying the load

[@angied1178]

This is one of the best moments I've seen on this show. That man truly had so much self discovery. I had a feeling Dr. John truly helped him change his life on this call

[@bettysmith4527]

Maybe if he would take a break from relationships he would have found himself a long time ago!

[@taraalbarran]

I sure hope so because he sounds like a real piece of work… kind of made me wonder about the ex-wife being an “emotional terrorist”

[@patray162]

This guy's first call was to blame his wife for his daughter's su*cide attempt, on the radio, the day after it happened. The day AFTER.... He had not made an effort to talk to his daughter. He had not made an effort to find out WHY or HOW she got to that point....he called into the radio, to moan to strangers for attention, and he LOVED it. I don't know how he found time SO QUICKLY to get on a public airwave and triangulate his child's tragic circumstance to paint an evil image of her mother. It made me so sick at the time that I recognized his voice immediately and couldn't believe I had the misfortune of hearing it again. Listen to him mention her attempts on this call. It sounds like she did it AGAIN since he first called in, and he can still only think of himself. He's not a father. I'm glad she knows that. The only explanation for his daughter's su*cidal depression that he could give was them being home together during the pandemic, which had been "hard" on him. Hint, hint...HIM... And when he calls in this time, he describes their prior interaction as being about his wife being an "emotional terrorist" with a chuckle rather than mentioning any kind of a family struggle or hardship with a child. People who grew up without the ability to emotionally cope can be very, very good at false contrition to juice up on sympathy before going back to let it out on their inner people. Cowards trading on moments of fake vulnerability to keep people in their favor. It is at the heart of so much family tragedy as trust seems possible. Just sharing b/c if you compare his two calls, the manipulation is incredibly dark and sad for all of the children. I hope I don't hear his voice a 3rd time but if I do, I can't imagine it would suddenly show any genuine empathy toward his kids or that he'd be able to demonstrate accountability for the damage he's caused. I wonder if it seems like he made a lot of self discovery because Dr. John is so good at helping people "get there"...Brian just had to follow along.

[@7somekindofsomething]

@@bettysmith4527yeah people need to figure themselves out before entering serious relationships in my opinion. At least to an extent. A healthy partner will hopefully guide you on that path but many don’t.

[@73odus]

I don't necessarily appreciate the tone Dr. Delony used with him. I felt he could've been way more conscientious with that. But yes, very helpful.

[@trisha8415]

This reminds me so much of my exhusband. So completely unhappy with himself and no tools to address it, or self awareness to look at himself as the problem. So he decided I was the issue - I was the reason he didn’t go back to school, have the job he wanted, have the life he wanted. Isolated me from friends, ignored and dismissed and abused me. Cheated for years and put me and our son as low priority in his life. Navigating the rage was a constant battle to protect myself and my son. As much as he hurt me I know he was hurting. He still doesn’t know how to help himself and he’s having the same issues without me to blame. Sounds horribly lonely. Just glad to be out of the line of fire. I hope more men feeing this way learn to look in the mirror and get help.

[@adrienne2838]

i don't have children but saying that raising 4 kids is nothing is insane to me, it is wild. no duh its taken her 10 years , I struggled without kids and financial support from my parents to make it in 4 years. I can't imagine what she's going through

[@lav7161]

He's held everything in and now he's letting it all out at once. I can feel his frustrations and I think he needs to take a step back and knock down each problem one at a time not all at once. This was a tough call. Him and his wife are 2 adults with no clue where they're heading. The world is deciding their fate, not them

[@IMBLESSED-oe6dl]

Shouldnt have knocked her up w 4 kids. This is the problem men want unlimited sex n no responosbility n when divorce happens woman shouldn't not ask for any support. Sad

[@elonr1018]

I would really love to hear from his wife an ex-wife tbh.

[@joannawrzelikowska3273]

Oh me too 🎉

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Me too, especially the wife who has a job, is doing a bachelor study and takes care of 4 kids alone all day while he's at work. I'm sure she's just as burnt out. I'm a SAHD and doing a 1 year course and even that one takes 1.5 years for me to finish because there's only so many hours in a day. And I don't even have a job or 4 years bachelor to do like the wife.

[@rachaelcameron1542]

Especially because Mom is at home dealing with a teenager with potential ptsd, suicidal thoughts and anxiety. Oh and the other 3 kids. I’m sure that’s smooth sailing and everything’s fine

[@littleme3597]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm Thank you. Then he is gone so much....his choice.

[@JML542]

​@@Nathan_BookwurmNot "just" taking care of kids but actually going through pregnancy, delivery and nursing, too.

[@tiffanybolden1319]

He feels like it's all (everything) is on him.....he feels lonely because she's not hearing him

[@aleee9214]

I feel bad for the guy who wife is taking ten years to finish a bachelors. He has every right to be upset.

[@ThaBloodWitch]

I was not expecting the call to go like this and to me, it sounds like the wife has her own bag of issues but damn. Deloney really yanked it out of this guy. 🥴

[@tacooflove6175]

Like a fingernail yeah

[@dudeorduuude5211]

He is really good at this. I compare him to Dr. Drew, who talks over people and rushes them off the call. But I suppose he is a medical doctor, not a therapist. Where Dr. John clearly is trained.

[@thereflextester]

Brian is a better man than me. I'd probably be in jail

[@rachelgooden9981]

I like how John just says and feels things as they are right away. From tones and how things are said.

[@isay207]

Dont marry for lust

[@sarahhuse9709]

She works and has 4 kids and I'm sure does the majority of what needs to be done in the house. 10 years is a long time, but I can understand why she couldn't get the degree done in a year or two. 10 years is a really long time, but she probably feels like she is drowning too. And like John said, she probably feels like it will never be enough for him. He really needs to work on how he expresses and directs his emotions. Even when he was talking about his daughter needing to get help he sounded like he was angry at her. I don't think he really was, but if I was his daughter hearing him talk about it I would feel that he resented me.

[@rebekahwilson7703]

And as far as his 15 year old daughter goes:She tried to end her life twice? Gee, her father is never around, he can’t stand her mother, and he most likely doesn’t bother with her, which she probably thinks is her fault. Hmm…

[@tiffanyroberts5993]

Her father could be around more if his wife brought in better income.

[@tylerborntraeger8677]

@@tiffanyroberts5993 The underlying message there is "I would appreciate/love you more if you were more financially useful to the house"

[@littleme3597]

@@tiffanyroberts5993 Not her job. She is already wearing many hats in that marriage. Wife, mother, school teacher, part time student, and doing all the household chores. He is the problem.

[@misslara23abq]

This is probably one of the best calls of this show!!! Great Job Dr. Delony!! Helped me understand how some men deal with stress and emotions.

[@BGP_23]

Fortunately, he got in touch with the right person. Many don't and just give up and cash in their chips. That situation is more common than can be imagined.

[@MichaelJones-rn2pq]

"The only common factor in all of your unhappy relationships is you." He needs to change, although he has the provider / work ethic part down. That's a good start.

[@cristinabadea6344]

Fabulous session, before our eyes the caller's life is being changed in 30min! Great Dr.JD, you don't just create, you stand for something. ❤

[@lbslott]

People put forth effort when they feel appreciated. He needs to start thanking her for all the little things she does.

[@maisybee2091]

True

[@Obsidian_9]

Why doesnt she have to do the same for him to put forth effort?

[@soni05131]

This guy...wow! looks like he's on divorce #2. The resentment in his voice is brutal. I think he had a different expectation of his life and it's not working out. Bless this family.

[@franziskani]

@@soulseeker1729 Not even HE says she does not care about her 2 step kids and the 2 she gave birth to (within 10 years). The college degree is one of many things she takes care of. - It is possible that she works more hours per week than him (unpaid and unappreciated, and called lazy). He says he drives trucks 70 hours, but her workload during schooltime when she holds a paid job might be even higher. btw he also complains about the 150 bucks for the tests she failed. Likely she did not fail 20 times. It is a nuisance to "waste" 150 bucks, and the more severe financial harm is that she could earn more in the same time as soon as she is qualified (and find a job nearby - although some commenters said she is not going to make 40 k in their state) But the 150 bucks (or 300 or 450 for 3 exams) are not going to ruin them. Moreover she is not a shopping alcoholic, these expenditures will not go on forever. Either she passes or she gives up. Imagine if she chose to get tutoring, so she can pass the math section (or whatever is hard for her with that exam). Can you imagine his denigrating remarks and his complaints about that ? He is not there during the week, so all the child care, school appointments and administrative tasks, household chores, shopping she has to handle w/o him. On top of that she DOES have a PAID job. She is "lazy" according to him because he is even jealous of her 3 "free" months in summer when teachers do not work. He is right that she could earn more money with the same amount of hours when she passed the exam - but likely he would find another problem with her. As the test seems to be rather easy, I wonder if that is her passive-aggressive protest (but other commenterss have claimed that the math sections is a problem for quite a few people and many folks have to take the test at least twice). No doubt he is coming down on her hard and it has been going on for 10 years. He may have worn her down. Not to forget at least 2 pregnancies (heaven forbid she had a post partum blues, or was exhausted) and 2 step children (one of them tried to take her life 2 years before). And you can be sure that the WOMEN take care of the appointments of the girl and supervise her. Either the allegedly so toxic ex that is the mother - or the step mother. He brings home more money than her, and he works long hours - but I guess in return he can delegate all other time consuming aspects of having a family and a house to the women in his life. (current and former wife).

[@eclipse.5295]

I think he just doesn’t like women, unless they’re doing some thing for him 😉

[@Candace-M-]

Wow this was intense 😬 I can just imagine how his wife probably just shuts down bc he's constantly pacing around and anxious bc he feels like he has to be that way or else everything is going to come crashing down. When you're around a constant anxious person you get to the point where you just go into survival mode, and you either always fight, you leave, or you just shut down. This guy needs to just chill for everyones sake🙁

[@hommy1614]

What a powerful discussion. You can't help but feel the trauma from all sides of the family - him (working so hard on the road), her (working full time and trying to take a class here and there), the daughter (trying to bury her hurt and pain)...I hope he had that pivotal conversation with his wife and they went to the battlefield together.

[@Lightandlove995]

This man said he had to support his family by himself for 3 months. Men are supposed to provide. I have worked and fully supported myself and I have been a SAHM. Staying at home is way harder than going to work. Work is a vacation! You get to pee alone and go to lunch by yourself or with coworkers. Adults! You get to talk to adults and wear nice clothes without spit up or vomit, pee, poop…

[@ifc1035]

Are you really comparing a cushy office job to a man driving a truck 70 hours per week?

[@lindacornell7881]

So much is going in this guy life. He has many broken relationships to repair. Hope he can find peace without losing it all.

[@reginaldphillips7615]

Probably one of the best I've heard. Amazing job getting to the underlying issue that had nothing to do with his current wife.

[@kevinmclaughlin3088]

I was real angry at this guy at the beginning of the call. Now I'm just angry at myself. This guy is me.

[@fairlyenjoyable]

This was a beautiful call. I hope Brian has found some peace in this storm. ♡

[@aprilfox9205]

So she has a full time job, college, 4 kids and I'm sure does the lion's share of the chores and she's lazy???wtf...🙄

[@seadragon1456]

Ya know she probably does too. Her watching reality tv is probably her watching it while folding mounds of laundry like most mothers do.

[@jshepard152]

18 months of college over 10 years shouldn't even count as college.

[@randykinder2736]

Excuses and all excuses are lies which makes her a liar.

[@3roachkidsdhe]

I’m watching this show while in the carline to pick up my youngest

[@7somekindofsomething]

18 months of college over 10 years…

[@cchat6262]

Wow. This was a whole counseling session for him. What great words of wisdom I hope he takes to heart. I hope he listens back to this call and hear how broken he is.

[@SaystheTruth3]

I agree... I also think his wife should listen to this call as well. Hopefully she'll get some understanding on how he feels... Sad situation.

[@vsand9798]

As someone who was a stay at home mom, before I entered the workforce, some of us don’t understand money and how hard it is to make. My marriage ended for many reasons, I became a single mom and it was definitely an awakening experience. Both people in this relationship are contributing to its demise. She needs to see how hard he works in appreciate that by respecting the finances. And he needs to see that she’s a stay at home mom and that’s not an easy job. Teens have to be supervised more closely than most people think. I feel for this family.

[@andreathompson-bg4hl]

From the time I was 10 I had no supervision outside of school. When people make comments about teen supervision it blows my mind.

[@TheDemonCaine]

A stay at home mom is nothing compared to working a 70 hour per week job. Get in touch with reality.

[@sarahm.7081]

​@@TheDemonCaine stay at home mom is 24/7 hours a job with no pay😅

[@TheDemonCaine]

@@sarahm.7081 You've resorted to lying now? 24/7 when you have to sleep as well and everybody knows stay at home mum's aren't doing hard work at all times of the day. They get a lot of time to relax. Plus why would you get paid for raising your own children. You're deluded.

[@sarahm.7081]

@@TheDemonCaine you never stop being the mother of your child. You are mum in sickness and in health, you bring up your offspring, wash them, clothe them, feed them, do home work with them, support them, guide them, shop for them. You wake up at night when they are still tiny and it ls feeding time (or when they are teething and they scream at the top of their lungs right in the middle of the night, effectively depriving you of sleep for days and weeks in a row). You clean up their vomit, do the school runs if they are not homeschooled, Iron their clothes... and you get blamed whenever they are caught misbehaving or if the house is not immaculate by 6.30pm, with dinner ready and steaming while your body is prepared for "nightly duties" You raise your child to become a productive and well ajusted person who will contribute positively to society. All this combined with being a supportive wife to your husband. It is indeed à 24/7 job, which many look down upon because yeah, apparently the only women worthy of respect (if I hear you) are the ones that choose to slave away for a boss that only cares about the money they bring in and can replace them in a heartbeat, while they are left to go back to their cats and teenage kids who know their Instagram friends more than their mom🤷🏾‍♀️ Right ? Is it closer to your truth?

[@vickimerritt2832]

I was married to a man like this, with less introspection, but he is blaming everyone and creating massive stress.

[@mushroombird9400]

I was too. Key word, ‘was’. Angry tyrant. Always grumpy and took it out on me. Thank goodness we didn’t have children!

[@luisfernando5998]

U had to marry such men because you wasted ur self of stranger D from like tinder before marriage …

[@kdphotos4691]

@@mushroombird9400 - He's a truck driver yet he somehow magically knows what she does all day. He also had a problem with his ex. He is the problem, not her

[@KateAmberYoga]

I'm so sorry. That's so toxic.

[@CraftyStayAtHomeMama]

Recently separated from someone just like him. Coincidently, he is also a truck driver, gone for 2 weeks at a time.

[@kristinam2719]

The missing piece in this scenario is that he does a job where he can’t help with kids, ever. Both my husband and I were on career paths when we had kids, however he seemed to think he should have cart Blanche to spend as much time as necessary to be successful and I was almost 100% on the hook for childcare + working full time. I wish there had been a grandparent around to help us out, but there wasn’t. So I ended up quitting my job to be at home with the kids and he has resented me ever since, even though he was making half a million a year.

[@eve_63]

Exactly!

[@neisci]

Sitter wasn't an option discussed? I am not saying neglecting the children, but having a balance where both of you could financially contribute. Some people want their spouses to be financial contributors of the household (probably one of the reasons he was attracted to you) and and they see no much value in staying at home partners hence your husbands resentment. Everything you spend to him seems like you are spending "too much " you as a family never have "enough ".

[@HALFAMAZINGTV]

@@neisci You get it.. It's the sense of urgency that counts, not always the act.

[@V.E.R.O.]

@@neisci Agree, if he was making half a million and she was also working they could have someone to care for the children and someone to help clean and cook.

[@ChristianOne]

​@@V.E.R.O.WHY on earth would she want to spend most of any paycheck she makes on childcare instead of raising them herself??? It is a JOB to raise kids...that is why you have to pay a stranger to do it. It is so bizzare that so many people have lost respect for the carreer it is to raise children. It is a noble profession to try to raise children with quality character, morals, values, and a loving heart. Long after your career chasing money, it is having adult children as your dearest friends that makes life so meaningful. Money isn't everything. If I was a millionaire, I would be DELIGHTED to provide for my partner to stay home...my PLEASURE to make their life EASIER. I wouldn't feel resentful about taking care of my family.

[@bethanyboothe4817]

Brian has been through a lot. Hope he can get help to work through his past and have peace in his life.

[@JR-dt9ie]

Conversations like this are what our young men & women need to hear during dating. Marriage is Work. It's awesome to be in love.

[@NerdyBirdie77]

He’s fed up and he’s not getting his cup filled while trying to fill everyone else’s cup. I get her side too but she may not be there for him emotionally. Which she may be so stressed from school and work and kids and her dreams but is leaving out what’s supporting it. There’s a lot of love In a back rub, listening to someone’s stresses or problems, and figuring out what’s not working together.

[@beaglerescue5281]

I think you nailed it. Everyone needs love and attention even the big, tough, trucker guy.

[@JordanJimmyDavison]

Dang this was a real one. Hits home for me. Thankful for this guy sharing his story and thanks to John for the help. 🙏

[@preciousgoje2193]

John you were so gracious and kind throughout this because wooooo child, I sure will be stressed.

[@vaska1999]

He's been supporting his family for three months, i.e. during his wife's summer break as an assistant teacher, ergo his wife treats him as her cash cow?! Wow! This guy's a head case.

[@user-lk8zb9bp6n]

John, you are amazing. Thanks for supporting that guy in such a compassionate way

[@DAng-ze6lj]

I just want to reach through and give this man a hug.

[@The-Oneness11]

She knows she can't please him, so she just gave up.

[@nervotica7991]

BS. She does not understand Men, and it manifests in her Daughters behaviour.

[@vickimerritt2832]

She likely has burn out and if measured puts in more working and non paid time toward their lives than him.

[@tiffanyroberts5993]

I think she’s lazy and doesn’t want to get a real job.

[@ydoucare55]

@@vickimerritt2832 If that's the case, then ease the burden and go get a job like him and pay for childcare.

[@sowutsurpoint]

She gave up on her kids then As she's not helping financially and spends money on a study she don't want

[@Zielnik333]

That was mind-blowing, my favorite episode so far. John is amazing at x-raying peoples hearts.

[@foxtrotcharlie8106]

I feel so much like this guy. It doesn't matter how many times or how I say how scared I am "we are always fine"

[@BitterComments]

I went from disliking this guy to feeling terrible for him.

[@marianemashkalo4182]

Really? I went vice versa. First "wife can't finish a degree for 10 years and it costs money" , but then "oh,and I am always away while she has a job+ 4(!!!) Kids,how lazy she is". So I disliked him at the end. And.... driving is easy job,not intellectual exactly....so he should not consider himself a star.

[@rogermarr9067]

Oh no I just started listening to the episode and right away I'm already calling this guy a jerk so now you definitely got me wanting to listen to the whole thing to find out why you said what you said

[@BitterComments]

@@marianemashkalo4182 “Driving is an easy job because it’s not intellectual.” Spoken like a posh, condescending faux intellectual who has never had to stay awake and alert behind the wheel of a ten ton vehicle for fifteen hours straight.

[@wnm8888]

He wove a web of lies. Listen to his first call. He's a professional victim.

[@marianemashkalo4182]

@@BitterComments I actually used to work night shifts in tech support, but yes, it's not driving. I get how my comment might have sounded condescending, that is not what I meant, I think I did not express my thought too well. Of course every honest job is honorable and physical jobs are hard in 1 way, while intellectual- in another way. They are just different and you get tired from both jobs. My comment was more in response to his implication that he's the only one working and she's a lazy teacher(!) with 4 kids at home(1) + he works for 70 hours(!) and yet is magically home every evening. If he rally works that much, comes home and falls asleep immediately then it's not much help with the kids. Something does not add up. And again, working for 70 hours is not a virtue: work smart not hard. Why can't he advance his career to something yes, more intellectual and would pay more for 40 hours. Why not? He can, I am sure, we are intelligent beings, it's in our nature to strive that way. Doing repetitive job for 70 hours is not a virtue, if you think that's condescending - it is not, I assume he can do better, that is actually uplifting. The issues his wife has obviously need addressing, I'd love if she called and John heard her story and advised her on now she can better manage her life and their relationship. Because we hear him whining and that's all. The title made me think I'll hear about an unemployed lady without kids paining her nails and buying clothes or something. The call turned out to be much more complicated and the fact that he sees himself as a victim is also wrong. They both can and should be actors, not subjects in their lives.

[@sbentsen2714]

At the beginning of the call I was ready to assume Dr delony would automatically side with the wife, but as I listened to the entire thing I love how he wove it into finding the heart of the pain & fear, the stuff in his past. So good thank you Dr John 👏🏼🙂

[@jdkayak7868]

This is another woman he married after a divorce in April this year, the guy is clearly stupid in choosing life partners, he dug his own hole.

[@wnm8888]

Is there another video of this caller?

[@jdkay1390]

​@@wnm8888 yes

[@wnm8888]

Would you please drop the link or video title?

[@jwlsngold5026]

@@wnm8888 try searching his name, city, and state, Dr John Delony. That should get you his first phone call.

[@user-lf4td9xr4v]

oh my goodness, my heart breaks for this guy and guys like him. Until we figure ourselves out, we are gonna hurt ourselves and people around us.

[@CC12398]

This was so masterfull. I just felt every feeling for Brian, at the end I cried for him ❤️ it's easy to forget how many men will Express fear and sadness as anger. I hope he changed his relationship with his family. UPDATES please

[@Jane_1994]

I was ready to side with him before I heard his tone/attitude and the fact that they have FOUR KIDS. 🤦‍♀️ I'm glad he can admit he's arrogant, but the next step is to act on that and *listen* to his wife like she's a real human being, and not a lazy, irresponsible idiot.

[@davidhale4647]

Right She works as a teacher and going to school He is mad she took the summer off they have 4 kids Teachers have the summer off I think he needs counseling this is his second marriage Sad there daughter has problems

[@dudeorduuude5211]

Well, she is being lazy, but it may due to depression or just feeling stuck and directionless.

[@racheljames7]

She is irresponsible though. She wastes time on a degree she has no intention of completing while he forks out the money for it.

[@watermelonlover745]

He's a grown man and needs to act it

[@vickimerritt2832]

Wife works full time, maybe more as teachers put in a ton of unpaid overtime, goes to school studies, and has 4 kids 24 7, with zero help from him on the homefront? She does not sound lazy

[@pattyajones]

Brian, wait...what? 4 kids....."she's just sitting around all day"????????????????

[@BagznBirdz]

Has the wife been tested for neurodivergency? Trouble with learning, being exhausted with everything, failing the test over and over again - I'd make sure she finds help if she needs it.

[@TheYazmanian]

Sounds depressed too "she hardly cares about anything"

[@BagznBirdz]

@@TheYazmanian or neurodivergent. The behaviour can seem like that, but in reality they are desperate to get stuff done. Procrastinating is one symptom.

[@BagznBirdz]

@@TheYazmanian yet you wouldn't know which one it is. When you're neurodivergent you get overwhelmed very easily and start to procrastinate.

[@lisalister8002]

Has he ever actually seen a report card from the college... How does he know for sure she is attending college.

[@EdieRoxUrSox15]

That man has a type. People he doesn't like 😂

[@lynnebucher6537]

I just had a thought. Does this guy pick a fight with his wife shortly before this big exam? I was with a guy who did that. Finally he admitted that he was afraid I'd lose interest in him once I got my degree and got a decent job. So he was trying to make sure I failed. And just like this caller, he denigrated and devalued me frequently.

[@meomy29]

Acting like this is a good way to lose one's spouse.

[@LaShawnLatera]

Wow, didn't expect this call to get this deep. I pray that Brian and his family find healing.

[@4wheeldrivegunner]

He broke that guy down like a fraction. Who knew how deep that rabbit hole went.

[@Shanshu72]

I really resonate with this caller. I have a strong fear of not thinking about everything around me because I’m typically a lazy, dysfunctional person. I struggle with self-defeating thoughts, and tend to go quiet. It’s been the main reason I don’t look for a relationship because I don’t want my partner to go through this.

[@lydiaortiz7493]

I applaud 👏🏻 how Dr. Delony uncovered the real root of the situation in such a short time. God bless his knowledge and wisdom.

[@andreamaser]

The way john just disarmed him and got him to stop talking about his wife and talk about himself and look at what he has and can do Like damn, respect

[@sabrinafantini9974]

This was the most real and honest interview I’ve ever heard

[@tammybrown5983]

that was such a stressful call to listen too. he is a ticking time bomb and I hope he gets the help he needs

[@Lifeszebarbie]

Holy moly…. This is me. My poor husband, my poor children. The anxiety is real. I do believe this man forced his wife to contribute financially; she chose school but it’s not her dream, it’s his.

[@HALFAMAZINGTV]

it's 2022. You are delusional if you believe a truck driver's income can support four kids and a spouse. They are in it as team, not him alone. She needs to uphold her own part.

[@tommystizzle6560]

​@@HALFAMAZINGTV You may be surprised how much you could make considering the overtime.

[@HALFAMAZINGTV]

@@tommystizzle6560 Very True and good point. Then the question remains how much will backbreaking overtime continue before they both realize that it isn't sustainable.

[@Righhhhhtttt]

@@HALFAMAZINGTV I agree with you. breadwinner anxiety is real and there aren’t enough conversations being had around that topic.

[@Righhhhhtttt]

@@HALFAMAZINGTV when your whole family’s financial viability is on your shoulders (especially now a days lol) that’s a heavy load to carry for one person.

[@3roachkidsdhe]

Wow! I feel so sorry for this guy! And his daughter ! I did not see this coming

[@nancyanderson2173]

Wow, what a show. Kudos to both of you. This is one of my favorite shows.

[@marytempleton5877]

I ended up balling my eyes out listening to this. I can't imagine the parent that has to go through the pain of having their child raped over and over for two years, and then trying to kill themselves twice. That, in itself is trauma for the parent.

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

God, what a nightmare. If I was a single mom I'd stay single until the kids were out of the house. Unfortunately pedophiles go after single moms in order to have access to kids. 9 times out of 10 molestation is mom's boyfriend or the stepdad.

[@veebliss1266]

The MOTHER is toxic!

[@kyleelawson3029]

@@veebliss1266hi! i’m the 15 yr old daughter in this video (16 now) and i would like to let you know that the woman he’s talking about is my step mom and yes she made and still makes mine, my sisters, my mom, and yes my dads life a living hell. and no just so everyone knows i NEVER blamed my dad for ANYTHING.

[@TrishDigginsDesign]

@@kyleelawson3029wow. How does she do that?

[@kyleelawson3029]

@@TrishDigginsDesign she’s just insanely mentally abusive and she takes all my dads money and spends it on herself, and she has 4 kids (2 biological) and she treats all of them like trash.

[@ntme6506]

This wife sounds like she has been standing in the gap and protecting his 15 yr daughter at home, at school and in every way. $40k a year will seem worthless if she is successful at her next attempt. This is a bad situation all around and John was right on. I hope this whole family get the help it needs

[@skrzydlataglowa]

This! And probabily depressed.

[@dynamicwellness33]

The daughter is not her daughter, and probably also spends more time or right now with his ex-wife as the courts typically go that way. Personally to me sounds like she’s lazy and not willing to put her fair share in and don’t share the same financial goals or values.

[@elizabethshittu3275]

Woooow. I can't believe how John dug underneath everything he was saying. It's clear this man cares a lot. He just doesn't know how to be present or be someone people can relax around.

[@user-oq4io2lb6z]

Spot on, John. Great advice. I hope the man follows his advice.

[@chelsea7229]

I didn’t listen to his first call, but I have a strong suspicion that maybe HE was the “emotional terrorists’ in his last relationship. He doesn’t seem to appreciate anything about anyone- everyone else is the problem and it’s never him. Ugh can’t stand people like him.

[@alexandrap.961]

I agree, listening to him gives me anxiety. I can't imagine how tense he must be with his wife and kids. I'm sure his wife does a lot of housework just to keep up with 4 kids it's a lot.

[@ingrydseixasdarocha2901]

Had the same feeling

[@solimine1007]

Narcissism

[@dwhunter8904]

Rule #1 …….it’s always the man’s fault. 😂 . She could also be just a lazy slob, he’s working himself to death to pay for the house AND her college that she is dragging out and racking up more debt. Sitting on her butt while her house and marriage explodes……….unacceptable.

[@Veracityseeker7]

​@@dwhunter8904You guys always say that. It's getting old by now. If he was talking to the wife; he would redirect her back to herself, instead of blaming her husband. Y'all are just allergic to introspection.

[@l-train7876]

I understand his comments about her having never been desperate. He feels it’s unfair since his whole life has been about being the responsible one. It’s hard to feel connected to someone who’s never been there.

[@ineedhoez]

I definitely agree with that sentiment. I dont know that I could be in a relationship with someone who is very privileged (money, looks, status in the race based caste system, etc). When you are the type of person that is willing to get your hands dirty and grind in order to achieve your goals, it's very difficult to be with someone who doesn't share that same mentality. My ex had a family who was very well off. So when our air conditioner broke, it cost like $10000 to fix. Ee needed a crane to put it on the roof. We did not have that kind of money. He asked his parents. I remember being so frustrated because it just seems like such a punk move. At the end of the day, his family had financial resources to help in a crisis, my family did not. He didn't have to suffer and struggle because he had family support. You can't be mad with somebody for solving a problem differently than you would have. This isnt math class. You don't have to show your work. He took care of the situation. Ultimately, the relationship didn't work because I realized that money didn't make me feel safe, being with someone who I could trust is what I needed.

[@JoyofRVing]

You have to listen to the entire call where he talked about his daughter’s trauma. He has a lot of anger and underlying issues

[@hedge1417]

He's tired of caring the load and sees a bleak future. He feels like a man without a team.

[@Baseballbruja]

Im on the callers side . Dont expect guys to buy everything for you. They dont like that

[@aceofspace99]

I am obsessed with these videos. I love how you focus in on the root issues, challenge people, and do it with love. Yep, I'm impressed. Here I go to the next video!

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

Very well handled John. Looking at it from both side's interests, challenging and affirming to unpick the knots the caller has tied himself into. Hope they work it out.

[@daviddougherty114]

Whoa, heavy call! Did not expect all the twists and turns it took. I really think this guy needs regular counseling to complete the path Dr D started him on. Dr D surely has some magic in his bag but, I don't see how a single 30 min call will overcome the issues he has been through for so long. Prayers for his sake and his families that some healing and peace make there way into the house.

[@genorivera2207]

I think dismissing the anxiety about debt especially when the student loan debt isn’t his is kind of weird.

[@lindseyschuster8895]

Dr. Del has a gift for discernment. It's terrific to witness.