Narcissistic men that choose porn over sex

[@tinavestal2154]

They choose porn, but then they twist it around and somehow make it your fault. Dump the loser.

[@Missybella92227]

Mmmhmm Ex fiance covert even had ED at 36 years old. Then he’d get upset that I didn’t “enjoy” having sex with him.

[@muma6559]

@@Missybella92227 The result of porn is ED. And they don't realize the fact until it's too late. Young men with ED, so sad. It will create frustration and pathologies in them

[@mariakostiukova4582]

@@muma6559 it's getting worse. I work at the Rx, and we fill the prescriptions for Hormone replacement Therapy as well as offer cialis, viagra etc. So, I looked back through the records of patients back when pharmacy was just opened in 2010 - most consumers of ED treatment were patients over 65 years, whose performance is naturally declined due to age, hormones, underlying diseases etc. But now, in 2024, we have A LOT of young men (as young as 19!!!!) who have ED and can't get it up with a real partner. Most of the men with ED we have as patients are between 21-38 years. That is alarming

[@smilesandthetwistedmd7608]

It's called gaslighting and reactionary narcissism. They will want to keep you but BLAME you for reacting to what they are doing to you.

[@milarepa1234567]

You said it! Showing affection, initiating joyfully which gets a woman turned on is absent from their logic.They try to make it somehow your fault.

[@lo-ul8nq]

My x husband was like this and yes he told me he didn't want me to leave. He was a Narcissist. I was brave to get out of my marriage, and I got divorced.

[@eastbaysf]

Porn and CUM puters are the real deal of marriage.

[@CarolynBrown-q3h]

Glad you left. You deserve better

[@AnnaParada-x3y]

GREETINGS FROM ARKANSAS IT'S BECAUSE THE MAN DOESN'T LIKE THE WAY THE WOMAN LOOKS WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE LOT OF THESE TYPE OF SECULAR UNGODLY MEN LOOK AT ONLY THE OUTER PACKAGE AND LOOKS ARE SUBJECTIVE IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF OPINION BUT MEN AND WOMEN WHO LUST WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH AND THEY WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH ONE PERSON IF A MAN KNOWS A WOMAN THAT IS A GOOD WOMAN KIND A CHRISTIAN WOMAN IS CHASE AND EVERYTHING AND MODEST HE WILL NOT LIKE HER OR PURSUE HER IF HE DOESN'T FIND HER ATTRACTIVE A LOT OF THESE MEN ARE VERY THEY'RE JUST SUPERFICIAL MOST MEN ARE THAT'S WHY IT'S BEST TO STAY ALONE BE HAPPY TRAVEL HELP THE POOR IN THE HOMELESS WHY DO PEOPLE NEED A PARTNER DOESN'T MAKE DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE GET AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE IN THE SICKNESS OF PORNOGRAPHY

[@AnnaParada-x3y]

GREETINGS FOR THE GREAT STATE OF ARKANSAS BECAUSE WE LIVE IN AN EVIL FALLEN WORLD STAY AWAY FROM MEN LIVE BY YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY TRAVEL HELP THE POOR AND THE HOMELESS IN YOUR PARENTS MY GOSH THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN CHASING AFTER A MAN AND HAVING A MAN AND BEING MARRIED WHAT A DISGRACE MOST MEN ARE MESSED UP IN THE HEAD THEY'RE JUST LOOKING FOR THE YOUNG WOMAN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN THEN WHEN THEY HAVE HER THEY DON'T WANT HER THEY GOES ON AND ON AND ON BECAUSE THEY'RE SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE THEY JUST CARE ABOUT THEIR LOOKS THE LOOKS OF A PERSON AND BEAUTY IS SUBJECTIVE IN A MATTER OF OPINION IF A MAN DOESN'T LIKE THE WAY A WOMAN LOOKS GET AWAY FROM HIM THE HECK WITH HIM HE'S SICK

[@BFku36]

Was it hard to leave? I'm also with a man like this and I just wish he'd admit that he truly does not care about me or my feelings etc., even though I know that's a textbook narcissistic male. I've tried sticking around, he promises he will stop and admits he has a problem..but then BAM. Here we are again. Karma blows his cover and I find out he's been lying again. Lather rinse and repeat and I feel sick to my stomach. I wish I had somewhere to go to save up and start over.

[@pinkposey8134]

If I had worn a bra of gold and diamonds, he would not have noticed.

[@Jai25jhns]

I got a whole boob job after he made a comment about my after baby boobs and he still didn’t want to see me or them unless HE was in the mood

[@rturney6376]

I am so sorry 😢!! I see you ❤😘😘😘🥰🥰❤️❤️🌻🙏

[@alicereed5368]

Mine made the excuse that I wore sweatshirts and tee-shirts all the time and didn't show my body...wtf....the crazy BS crap they can come up with.

[@mshiker]

my ex bought me sexy underwear and sex toys and plastic black sheets ..one time tried porn kind sex with him as he wanted that but it was mostly awkward. He never asked me again but accused me of being a whore if I asked why we don't have sex anymore (last year like 6 times a year).

[@SaystheTruth3]

​@@alicereed5368did you try to wear sexy things to see if it helps? Men are visual creatures. It's nice to spice things up!

[@lo-ul8nq]

Narcissists don't know what love is. They don't love you at all. They don't care about you at all. Narcissists are pure evil souls. Narcissists are broken people

[@ladyggsmith3261]

truth,..

[@christineplaton3048]

It's not so much as they are pure evil. They are very wounded. They were wounded as children. They have certain aspects of their personality that did not properly develop. The disorder, if full fledged has other aspects woven in like psychopathy or sociopathy. They are cold temperamentally. They love themselves. It's all about their needs and wants. You are secondary. You are not their priority. They are extremely painful to be in relationships with. Be they friend, sibling, mate, coworker, etc. they oppose everyone. The covert narcissist is a very formidable opponent, indeed. He or she is so nice except to their perceived enemy. They need to have their egos stroked by disdain for others and it takes many forms. These are not loving people that truly want what is best ( tell the truth ) and cry with you. We are all on a learning curve. Sadly, they are people who need love. If only they didn't harm us for trying.

[@JeremiahLOsborne]

They are not evil. They are broken, just like you said. They simply manifest their trauma in a way that is different than other people. Do. If you can have compassion for someone with cancer, you should be able to have compassion for someone with narcissism. They behave that way because they don't know how to survive any other way. That's not to permit their actions, but understanding gives you a more empathetic way of looking at life instead of being judgmental and dismissive.

[@KeeleyChristine-i9h]

Yes, I became convinced that they are actually evil when my narcissistic ex-husband & narcissistic mom purposefully turned my daughter against me & actually teamed up with each other to punish & hurt me for not tolerating their abuse. Pure evil.

[@joanb8489]

I agree with you 100% too bad it took soooooo long to learn this FACT.

[@cheryldee95]

They choose porn, but then…will take a viagra and then go searching for their partners…just to ‘use’…to get themselves off, from the lingering porn/viagra reaction. And the porn watcher calls this ‘intimacy’. And when the partner realizes the ‘disconnect’ of this porn/viagra fuelled interaction, stops wanting to have sex…and then gets ‘lashed out at’…as ‘the problem’. This viscous circle is a nightmare and absolutely impossible to endure. Yuck…yuck…yuck…!!

[@TheGrimFoot]

Viscous cycle😂😂 that's one of the funniest typos I've seen.

[@jeankipper6954]

He liked porn. Said I was fat. I've been the same size 40 years. He said, go get it if I wanted. But we both know that was unthinkable, and, if for any unthinkable reason I ever did anything like that, he would NEVER forget or let it go. Meantime I worked, owned the house, bought the food, cared for him. Passive aggressive narc oh yeah.

[@CarolynBrown-q3h]

He has it good.

[@theoryofpersonality1420]

If you did have sex with someone else he would leave.

[@jeanninerossouw5921]

it's your house, so go find someone else, he'd leave. End of problem

[@RangerGirl-iy2hp]

He wanted you to do that so he would be blameless in a divorce. The men are sick!

[@DivinaDiosa3845]

I hope you’re out of that situation ❤️

[@susanbenson3232]

Yup! My experience tells me he chose porn because he doesn't like intimacy or emotional connection with a partner. Porn is cold, detached, impersonal, & all about *self* gratification. It hurt deeply, even when I knew it wasn't about me....and it was frustrating. Yet, he expected fidelity.

[@muma6559]

that's right, it's not about you

[@trumpeterswan4177]

And peace lies in not caring what they think anymore.

[@muma6559]

@@trumpeterswan4177 accepting that they are allowed to have their own thoughts and opinions, just as everyone is

[@bls5160]

@@trumpeterswan4177 Exactly!!

[@BFku36]

​@@muma6559everyone's allowed to have thoughts and opinions, but there's a fine line between having "thoughts and opinions" and being a douche bag. 🙄

[@EllspethRoberts]

It took me several years to actually catch my x-narc with porn, but it definitely explained his rejection of me sexually. He could be a good lover on those rare occasions he did pay attention to me, but usually there were just lame excuses. He preferred porn to me because porn demanded nothing of him - especially emotionally. He is out of my life now and good riddance to bad garbage. I am healing and moving on - a slow process but each step is a success in my mind.

[@vuokkorusso-we2sz]

Just like any other addition....only the drugs matter

[@muma6559]

@@vuokkorusso-we2sz lol

[@valerielongmore5040]

Same for me. They are evil.

[@thresabeasley1812]

Boy, you had just like I have been going thru all these years. Porn demands nothing of him, yes especially emotionally.

[@bls5160]

I wish you nothing but good luck and a happy life from now on. I could just hug all the ladies that are commenting here because at last I don't feel like I am the only one who has gone through hell with a sick pervert who has no real feelings or emotions. We all deserve a good life with real love in it.

[@Lyrielonwind]

I think there is another reason, they don't want you happy.

[@nohorasims656]

Exactly they get a thrill out of others pain. They are one with the devil

[@lorrainesmith.4995]

I agree...Keep you begging for it. ( and give you nothing )

[@joyalways1179]

They hate their mothers, so they take out this hatred on their wives by rejecting them, inflicting pain any way they can, in very subtle ways. Sick.

[@eurostar8]

yes a mother wound

[@tinajeppesen5948]

Mine hated his. She’s passed away. She had bipolar, as does he. During a narc rage recently he slammed a picture of her on the ground, called her a crazy bitch & said we are 2 of a kind. I tried hospitalizing him & he wrote down that I was his “mom” just to get to me. Disturbing.

[@Ptls68]

Not always mine only love his mom and our son.

[@lindanorris2455]

and they absolutely cannot admit to hating their mothers.

[@bonitajolie9341]

Yep! 💯 True. I watched the video about narc husbands withholding love and affection. My ex also had a porn addiction. Divorced that demon a long time ago. Never been happier.

[@Allison_White]

Same. ✅

[@CarolynBrown-q3h]

Same here 😊 ❤️❤️

[@alysiahite7086]

Me too❤

[@paulagratefulnoend9683]

Yes Narcissists start to see us as their MOTHER!!!! Once they begin the devalue stage, you’ve become his lousy MOM!!! Its sick!

[@bls5160]

That's exactly it! But then they are so immature that you actually don't see them as anything but a child and that made me feel no attraction for him either in a way.

[@BFku36]

Both comments here are regrettably fascinating and so fkn true 😪

[@moniquedebont9493]

He's taking care of himself sexually and your doing his laundry!

[@teresaz7152]

Nailed it!

[@mshiker]

I totally agree. Felt like that: doing his laundry, cooking, ironing, cleaning.. with no sexual connection to him what so ever.

[@karenk2409]

Thank you for telling the truth about a very dark subject. The truth is that you couldn't destroy your marriage quicker than to bing porn into it, Period.

[@brookebenton8192]

My ex husband would deny me sex and go into the bathroom to watch porn and masturbate. He would literally show me the porn on his phone and say "I'll be right back" and go disappear into the bathroom. The part that also really hurt is that he had a bunch of naked pics on his phone of different nude models and porn stars. They were always the opposite of my appearance. Sometimes he would purposely show them to me and tell me those were the body types/looks that he actually liked. I am a petite brunette and the women were always blondes with huge butt and hips. My body could just never look like that. He made it impossible for me to be what he "really wanted."

[@DianeRaines-mo9vx]

I am so sorry.

[@Kim-gq5dt]

I am in shock reading this. That is disgusting and abusive. Good riddance!

[@TheJoan48]

Words can't describe what torture that was. I'm so glad he's your ex and is out of your life. Thank God you're free of him. He's insane.

[@Vixinaful]

Thats triangulation. He triangulated you with porn. Same happened to me. He tried by saying how hot they were so I lied and said I watched porn too and oo the mens abs and tanned bodies. It ended with him being very upset so I turned his triangulation against him. He did NOT see that coming and blew up, haha! W.I.N. 😁

[@wardogproud]

I'm so sorry .

[@jennifermiller5041]

This was my marriage. He put me away recently. I was willing to give in that area, but he never initiated. I didn't realize until after I left, that it may have been part of control. I always figured it was just because the porn addiction was somehow killing his drive. I never caught him physically actually cheating, which is strange, because I caught him a few times flirting with a young neighbor girl from a distance. I desired greatly to fulfill him and love him by giving sexually, but he neve sought me out for it. That was an incredibly deep rejection. I hope to have a hubby in the future that will be blessed by my willingness and drive.

[@christineplaton3048]

Porn addictions. No woman is perfect enough. You can't compete with sit brushed beauties. If he has to compare women don't even try to believe you are good enough. You can't compete...strangely they don't seem to worry about whether they are the perfect Ken Doll either. We aren't Booby Barbies. Real men don't need porn.

[@styles2155]

I wish you the very best in life, but after my ex husband put me through this hell and has destroyed me from the inside out, having another man in my life is something I don't need. I can't trust another man bc of the fear of going through this hell all over again. I don't mind being alone, I've been alone with him for years. I just can't put myself through that again. Much love to you ❤️

[@PricelessJesus]

Bless u x left my marriage after 24yrs

[@raworder]

I finally get why my husband cheated and why he ignored me! Thank you. I was the good girl he could take to family events and raise his children and give the happy family persona. That explains the trashy bad girls he cheated with! 💡 moment again thank you!

[@muma6559]

yeah! You made him look good. That was your role. That's it.

[@raworder]

@@muma6559 That’s exactly right and I understand that now 5 years down the road.

[@muma6559]

@@raworder only 5 years, lucky you!

[@raworder]

@@muma6559 I was in the marriage 25 years I’ve been away from him only 5 years

[@ChelGriffith]

We are their normalcy prop.

[@vuokkorusso-we2sz]

When the sex is gone so is the marriage.

[@sherylhunter4040]

We never had that. Not even when we got Married. Never Nothing. He was Mean. Evil.

[@mniks8860]

Wooooow!! Really?? How many wives that aren't really into having sex with their husband have you told that to?

[@mshiker]

yes, no intimacy because no trust and then no sex - life with a narc just constant quarrel, abuse, lies, cheating, apologies and back to quarrel. Who wouldn't be fed up with that? It's not love. If you stay and try to change things but not able to run away it's codependency. Not love.

[@gabrieleurbanmiller4246]

Not true! How long do we have to have sex? Rule in life? Sex is boring after 20 years ! What for having sex? Until 100 ?? Society expect having sex for ever? No and some people have other interest.

[@sherylhunter4040]

@@gabrieleurbanmiller4246 there wasn’t never nothing. He acted like he hated me. SPITS in my face. Took a hammer 🔨 smashed a lot of my things I wanted to keep. Knocked me down on the porch. His other fat ex wife. Tried to punch me. Cuss me like a dog. Both of them. The whole family did. There not nice none of them. I was threatened a couple times. I got it on my other phone. My daughter has it all. He moved his ex wife In while o was visiting my elderly mom out of State. I keep taking him back every time. Begging him. He doesn’t love nobody.

[@ronies41]

The narc in my life caused me to feel ugly and undesirable. I had been a beauty queen. He was the only one at our wedding who did not tell me I looked beautiful. He made me wish I had never been born. He was always saying mean things about my appearance and pushing me away like I disgusted him. He loved porn.

[@sonyablackwood4389]

Same here!

[@teresahunter6202]

Spot on! Classic behaviors 😭heartbroken but aware… now my confidant , sexy , hard working , brilliantly loyal and broken ass needs therapy!!! Because revenge only makes me equally evil.. I love the idea of our relationship… but I 💯agree with all of your podcast, believe me I have traded my moral compass to please this demon and it just gets worse ! It’s an endless cycle of chaotic ,heartbreaking loop of a sick, toxic mess that true , loyal souls do not need!!! I’m working on me… because he is definitely a hopeless human and a shame to the male race !! Beauty is truly skin deep. I don’t like the levels that I have done for “ love” but I’ve learned something or 5 I love men and I won’t let this brake my faith in them! There are very good people in this world so I thank the fuckers who are not because now I know who not to be and be fooled by! Like this world needs more asshole evil people!💪🏻✌️😇🫶💯🙌

[@bls5160]

Went through the same thing too.

[@Vixinaful]

Same. Found myself beautiful but they (more than one of these relationships) convinced me I was ugly.

[@Kristain473]

Same

[@kristenmcclellan4120]

Thank you so very much for covering this topic. I had been experiencing this in my relationship for many years and even though I left the relationship it still haunts me. It didn’t matter how hard I tried to be enough, he would never capitulate. I finally have some insight as to why I wasn’t enough for him and why porn is. He still is angry because I left and still tells me he loves me. But I deserve better.

[@karenmeacham798]

my husband goes on websites to talk to other women and then blames me for me being me, what a prize he is

[@ziziscorsese9475]

Are you thinking of leaving?

[@DivinaDiosa3845]

Please leave.

[@PricelessJesus]

Leave I did

[@kerryannmoor5908]

Yeah, a real prince!

[@thriveteam2688]

He is not a real man...

[@karenk2409]

I left the sob and am so done with this sick crap.

[@Pandan1351]

It’s so contradicting that they think like this. The commitment they say they have is so fake! I’ve also experienced this from my NEX, ssoooo many occasions he had issues and I figured out it was due to porn. It was going on before we met. He was more interested in and aroused to the unrealistic fantasy life, that he didn’t know how to love, It was a different level. AndI don’t like it! I can’t believe this is going on and relationships are being destroyed. My NEX and porn, online dating is exactly why I’ll be single and celibate for the rest of my life. It’s so hard to trust anyone or be genuinely loved by someone. Thank you for the informative video Kevin.

[@kathybrem880]

I understand

[@islandlady-rr3fm]

Celibate for two years now, never agine. God's protection

[@lydiabutler6345]

It all makes sense now. Gut feeling he was cheating but no proof. Huge wall between us and realizing he was emotionally absent. Got worse when I became a nurse and started taking care of my emotional health. Now getting my exit strategy in place!

[@ritadoran5039]

Porn is cheating it's ruining relationship and making good women feel invalidated and unattractive and unnloved I'm speaking about myself here. I was heartbroken when he acted like watching couples have sex and being on apps while engaged is ok? I don't believe I will heal from this repeat trauma not fair😢😢

[@Jessica-J.ones.]

Sweetheaet. Dont let that devil get a stronghold over you. Your fiance is embarrassing and needs prayers. You havent done anything wrong and you are beautiful. Chin up, butterup.

[@shennelgayle976]

Same thing here before we get married it was so now we married for 10 months now no sex no intimacy no nothing wedding night said he was tired honey moon only 2 times out the 1 week we were there yet he's taking blue chewy and other viagra and on the internet every time smell discharge on tissue in the garbage as a Christian he said he is and I am I know how do I leave divorce when the Bible say Christian must not I cry night and day and I saw the red flags and ignore which man having sex with his wife then pull out and start masturbate for hours he there with his hand jerking off 🤢 I want out

[@desireefournier9083]

Straight up, watching porn is cheating.

[@muma6559]

yes it is

[@krystalgardiner5591]

I agree, I was always called a prude, jealous, etc. The bible says, to look at a woman with lust is committing adultery in his heart. There is a spiritual aspect when a man masturbates to videos and pictures, there is a demon on the other side of that screen that’s taking that energy. I don’t care what anyone says.

[@muma6559]

@@krystalgardiner5591 a man watching another man having sex, just common sense wrong. I've heard that it can turn them homosexual.

[@janetromey7522]

They withhold to hurt. That's exciting for them. The cheating with porn is exciting to them. They have to hurt you or they won't sleep at night. Evil doesn't sleep it watches porn and plots to torture someone. There is no Madonna where syndrome with narcs.

[@LS38389]

⁠@@krystalgardiner5591. I’ve heard that an actual demon watches them masturbate. And they are tall beings. Quite scary

[@DF-dd5nf]

I love and respect your channel, I am pleased that you are giving advice for women as many women feel trapped in narcistic relationships. Godd bless you. ❤❤❤

[@TerpsichoreanSelenophile]

Yep. That's what ended my marriage. He used porn, prostitutes, and phone sex lines while denying his attractive young wife. And that's not the only man I was with who withheld sex. It goes on a lot more than most people think.

[@bls5160]

Same here. Porn and hookers. I just don't understand why these creeps ever get married in the first place. They would have a lot more money for what they want to do and no one to lie to.

[@janpressler1491]

I'VE BEEN LIVING THIS WAY FOR 35 FUCKING YEARS!!!! wish I made enough money to leave

[@lesleyclark1906]

I'm so sorry to hear this, it has been 26 years for me and I eventually confronted him about it and said that he made his choice to deceive and lie to me, replacing me with his porn addiction so I was now making mine and would never be accountable to him ever again. I asked him to leave but because neither of us could afford to go we have started living separately in the same house and I am slowly making the gap wider and wider by meeting new people, going out etc , not making his dinner or doing his washing and not having conversations with him. I'll answer his questions with a short reply but won't go into any discussions. It's not 100% ideal I know but its certainly the next best thing to do if you are unable to leave. Make a life for yourself and try to find your own happiness on your own as he will probably never change . Counselling also may help and if you have faith in God just know that he cares for you and will help you through it all. Take care.

[@juanadrianrobaina5763]

Just leave that mf,it is not gonna get better ,I swear😮😢Good luck to you

[@tinavestal2154]

I divorced my ex after almost 35 years of marriage...scary, but I finally realized that I needed to live in peace, with people who valued me...or not at all.

[@annbressie8615]

35 years here too - here's to new beginnings. It's hard to leave financially but you can do it.

[@lesleyclark1906]

​@annbressie8615 Thanks for the encouragement and you are right I can do it and am in the process of making it happen right now. It has taken 5 months but in that time I have gotten stronger and now have the confidence to take the next step of leaving. 😊

[@conversingwithconita]

This was a great video and is 100 on point Kevin. 😍

[@juanadrianrobaina5763]

OMG no sex for soooo long and I am starving literally yet my narcissistic " partner " is right there lol😢😮

[@gloriacoleman7012]

Not just porn I found out my ex-narc had joined a swinger club in 2003, he had time off work but made it appear he was going to work and would say he would be out on site all day so as not to phone the office, his life with me our child our home a Christian was window dressing to cover for the life he really wanted to live.

[@kerrymcgeown4286]

I was in a similar situation with my X, he used prostitutes, swinger clubs, gay saunas, hook up websites, live cams etc. I'm sure i was just used as a cover for his sick life and the fact he's gay

[@Evewasfraimed]

My ex was very withholding on sex. When i talked to our marriage counselor. He said," when a person says "no" in the relationship, who has control?? It really opened my eyes!

[@alisonjones9751]

My husband doesn’t want intimacy, connection….he wants uncommitted sex. Doesn’t like emotions. His words. We have been together 30 plus years. Porn, online cheating with someone he worked with, flirting with and wanting anyone but me😢

[@thereturnoffrancesblogg]

Get out.

[@smilesandthetwistedmd7608]

Get a divorce. Porn is cheating spiritually.

[@bls5160]

Same here!

[@suzismith9681]

10:24 and thats when I removed that gold band. All offers, or bets were off the table. I was done.

[@1sinequanon]

Yes. It didn't make sense but I knew it was true. That's when I left, too.

[@ziziscorsese9475]

A band on meant ….😢

[@ladyggsmith3261]

and no can not be fixed .. NARCISSIST NEVER CHANGE EVER FOR NO ONE ... LEAVE THE MARRIAGE ..

[@lindab6974]

Yes, and it's a power play as well

[@christineplaton3048]

This is an important video for men. It illustrates how they destroy their own ability to love. Some men will not care. As you described, I went through exactly what you said although to a lesser degree. Religion was a part of our lives. He also came home one day and said I was a saint. So exactly as you describe he did have problems and was a narcissist, yes. I divorced him. The relationship was not possible to repair. Narcissistic Personality Disordered spouses are your opponent. They do not love, and it's not going to get better. They are resistant to change. Perhaps there might be hope for some depending on the degree of type of selfish destructive behaviors. Marriage childbearing. all of it is so difficult in today's world. It's a man's responsibility to communicate with his wife, keep his relationship alive, not stray, and be a real man. Not among those lost in base carnal pleasures. True love and Intimacy involves the heart. Many men and even women have no capacity to love. Fueled by narcissistic self love they destroy the family. It's a difficult time to live. Teaching how to choose a worthy partner is crucial. And not rushing into commitments. Cautions. Precautions. Thanks for trying to help others .

[@muma6559]

"they destroy the family" and so determined to destroy everyone around them

[@a.garcia7127]

It's a difficult time to live, indeed.

[@sophiasdreamquinnblue8977]

No, they don't get turned on by normalcy, that's why. They want different/extravagant and real affection is a threat to them.

[@dogdefender6946]

I’ve heard in every Psychology pro. i’ve ever spoken with, it is a very common tactic to withhold sex as part of their toxicity.. thoughts? it is punishment imo.. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@muma6559]

Do you think it's very conscious with awareness of what they are doing, or sub-conscious and not aware of what they are doing ?

[@VictoriaSeers]

My husband still wants sex withe, while he watches porn and has affairs with other women at the same time. So I refuse to have sex with him..he thinks he's Casanova.

[@VictoriaSeers]

But that being said,btjetebis no intimacy and I'm very lonely most of the time. And everyone thinks I'm the bitch for it..

[@nohorasims656]

@@muma6559 its on purpose . punishing you for what they do

[@muma6559]

@@nohorasims656 wow, that's pretty twisted logic... and degraded values, "for what they do"... punishing themselves at the same time

[@writer1986]

I watched a video conference, years ago, that said men imprint on their first sexual experience, therefore they try to recreate this moment over and over. Because we--the partner--may not be their first, we cannot recreate that with them, so they find other women (even if fictional) to relive that moment with. This is why it's so vital to hold off on sex until marriage, so the man can create his first experience with his wife and imprint on her.

[@tanyac.c.macbean4707]

So, the wife stays, but cheats. She's now labeled the home wrecker & her reputation smeared & tarnished. Meanwhile the saintly husband is a douchebag.

[@kellysmith1430]

I've been steeped in researching this subject for over 3 years now. I cannot agree with your conclusion. Any man who chooses to cheat on his wife through the use of elicit abusive sexual material (porn) does not respect or love her. The destruction to a wife as well as her children living with this is immense, not to be under estimated. Omar Minwalla speaks to this with research behind him as do many others. Research shows that around 1-5% of men will actually do the hard work to change their thoughts and behaviors and become good, safe men. The best thing women can do is get away from these toxic men and do the work of healing the damage that was done to them. Natalie Hoffman for women and Andrew J. Bauman for men.

[@1fancychik4God]

It’s much better to get away. Those odds are not good enough when you are also looking at possible d@ath

[@amandamaddalena6526]

Im stuck in this right now after 11years. It's absolutely horrible

[@mereka448]

I'm in a relationship for 10 years with a trash like that.

[@Jessica-J.ones.]

Over 8 years here. Its just getting worse.

[@CleverChimney]

Yep ex was like this. It was nuts. While I was secretly planning to leave I hacked his pc so he couldn’t access porn or adult dating sites on there which was his fav way to get it and he couldn’t say or do anything about it because that would be admitting it. Have to say it was pretty hilarious to watch. This was 20 years ago

[@nohorasims656]

so what ended up happening?

[@CleverChimney]

@@nohorasims656 he couldn’t fix it so he ended up taking it to work to have his IT person fix it. I left him shortly after that.

[@tracy245]

I would love to know how to do that . Would you let me know how?

[@CleverChimney]

@@nohorasims656 I left him

[@CleverChimney]

@@tracy245 all I did was make myself admin of his pc and changed his settings to work as if he was a kid and wasn’t allowed to access certain stuff. And he was not a PC expert by any means so he couldn’t figure it out 🤣

[@jill4268]

Oh GEEZ My EX Narc , it was 24-7 even at work any spare minute. Would run to the store then check the phone. ..... Porn site . Check computer porn site. I was making dinner and he got up to go in the other room. On his phone and there it was porn site. Left it open and saw his oh my gosh reaction. 🙄 Lord have mercy it's Ludacris

[@INFJ2]

So much porn. Like ridiculous. Then strippers and women on Adult Friend Finder. They dial a fantasy and bam get exactly what they want. Until porn aint enough it becomes live people. Its sick and a real problem. Ruined my marriage

[@emmarae4322]

My ex watched porn. He was impotent with me and called me sexually inadequate.😢 It was extremely painful and demeaning. He also was kinda sadistic in bed…was it the porn or was it him?

[@Lyrielonwind]

Him. Porn adds to it.

[@trumpeterswan4177]

Impotence, this is another topic that needs to be exposed and why ot happens. My ex was always impotent.

[@JeremiahLOsborne]

I believe he was impotent because he was having, no pun intended, performance anxiety. As a narcissist, he is criticizing his performance in bed from your perspective, and because he is so shitty to himself, he's going to assume that any tiny mistake that he makes you're going to notice and you're going to hate him for it. He is so afraid he can't literally get an erection. His body is too focused on putting out fight or flight hormones to put out sexual hormones.

[@KeeleyChristine-i9h]

Narcissists are oftentimes sadistic

[@narcisticinjury629]

Both of them

[@pjmrees]

My NEX of 24 years was a sex/porn addict. He lied a million times he didn't do porn. It took me 18 years to finally get the evidence he was an addict. Even doing it before work in the car, at work and after work on the way home and more. He was also very abusive and HAD to do the opposite of what I asked for. He was happiest when he was in defiance and doing something "naughty". He's a 3 year old in an adult body.

[@alexp24370]

The faster women understand that a relationship with a narcissist never going to be a relationship of equals based on mutual love, respect and understanding where is going to be fairness and equal give and take the better. Ladies you are not "married" to a narcissist you have given yourself as a free titled deed for someone else to abuse you at their whim that's all. The narcissist doesn't love you, he loves what you can do for him. One day you are going to discover this bitter truth, a few years down the line when you discover he had been cheating all along. If your relationship is based on someone else devaluing you then you have no relationship. I married a covert narcissist it took me 3 months to know it wasn't going to go anywhere. So I visit my lawyer behind his back and SURPRISE he got the divorce papers. He thought I was the perfect free meal ticket and didn't see that coming. Best thing ever!!

[@marybethmooney7490]

WOW/THAT EXPLAINS A LOT!!!

[@ariankabakci8930]

What about the marriage counselors that tell these men it’s healthy to watch porn? And they don’t realize the damage they are doing to these people .

[@mariposaswallowtail4410]

Wtaf???

[@marybethmooney7490]

Also imperative to know while seeking equally yoked partner!

[@debnn4854]

I got this. He was and is now legally blind

[@nohorasims656]

was he a porn addict?

[@tinahill2134]

This happened to me .I found out that he was watching porn all the time 😮 I was fit ,worked out on regular basis. I tried everything.

[@octoberdawn1087]

When they yo-yo you back and forth, putting you in your place that you aren't their type, but then claim you are close to perfect, but not ideal, but they love you... its so f*ing confusing & painful... the porn gives it away that the girlfriend/wife will never be good enough.

[@VanessaDayleRaeWaggoner]

I am both of these women in one, that way I can still be attractive to my husband while being a Good mother. But it doesn’t matter how much of a mistress porn star wannabe for him, I was never enough. It’s definitely narcissistic. And he would gaslight me and tell me it was my problem not his. I’ll never put myself around a porn narc ever again

[@nicolemarie7684]

Omg! I know a guy with this Madonna/"Whore" split! 🤯 Don't forget strippers! I was actually searching for what this was and what caused it! Thank you...and Freud!

[@LS38389]

There are millions of em out there millions!

[@aliciasierra5295]

I was looking for this comment! They definitely go lust after strippers and feel like it's valid🤦‍♀️

[@mshiker]

I bet internet has a huge role of addicting people as many young boys are seated infront of computer (to be able to success in the working life). They see almost naked women in the net and they have an easy access to sex services online. In the kitchen there's mom taking care of their needs when needed. This scenario is later moved into a relationship with their partner: man has his satisfying moments infront of computer/phone etc but the wife's role is to do everything mom did. This is narrowed thinking of what a word woman means to nowadays men: just a person fullfilling their needs. One way road in a way. They don't understand that their mom also has her own needs and dreams. Their exsistence is all about serving their family. Sad isn't it? So many lonely men are stuck oon online porn. Women are like things to them: to get their satisfaction through them. However sone of them are tired of pleasing women. They are tired of trying. They want an easier mean to meet their needs. My ex was a porn addicted narc. Lived in hell for years. As soon as your spouse starts explaining why there's no sex in your marriage you can be sure that he get's it somewhere else.

[@stellarhope6954]

what a nightmare. how many women do i know who live with this. i sure did.

[@LB-lt3pz]

Me!!!

[@OliverWoodphotography]

This is why I believe porn and prostitution should be universally banned. I know prostitution is illegal in the USA but the country is the world's biggest producer of porn. Both activities are fundamentally degrading to women and enable misogyny in men!

[@debbierippy759]

They also try to defeminize you by rejecting your feminine attributes because they really want a man and are bisexuality or homosexual or both.

[@semsijacass133]

I am a Christian believer, married, to a diagnosed malignant narcissist, for 26years. Therapy for many years. Now the world tells us there is no hope for healing for a narcissist but the Lord says we have victory In Christ. What does healing for this toxic shame look like? My husband “wants” to change, sometimes sees himself, tries at times, but is never all in with the healing process, and always falls back into his default mode. I have stayed in this abusive relationship, I have grown and worked on myself, and we are in the middle of a divorce because it is unsafe to stay AND I believe that my enabling is a sin because I have made this marriage an idol. He has never been held accountable for his pathological behavior because he presents himself as a kind and gentle victim.

[@DF-dd5nf]

God bless you !!! You will be must stronger without him as he was talking your self-esteem. ❤❤❤

[@annbressie8615]

Literally my life. I cannot believe I put up with this.

[@1fancychik4God]

All the time corn, VHS tapes, now prob CDs and cable and even a secret PO Box. I found more things than I cared to know and I hurt so much. I’m sure there was more

[@susannegoldmann6491]

It might have to do with mommy issues, too...

[@melodywoolf171]

I cry every day

[@shelertkitchen2250]

Please don't cry narcissistic love porn to watch and mastubation .and giving wife bad word

[@xtianrondow3881]

I had a common law wife for seven years that would bath after work once or twice a week.... Maybe... Then turn to porn and blame me for not wanting to be with someone who doesn't bathe... She also gained two hundred pounds over seven years... She refused to take care of herself... I was still there as a partner, step father to her children, and provider.. Narcissists are not gender specific.... They are just narcissists.... I am free now... Hindsight is 20/20 ... Love and respect to everyone this holiday season... Agape, Christian Rondow.

[@connieinman2467]

We are talking about the women who have taken care of themselves! Who are pretty inside and out have beautiful bodies! My husband could be with Melania Trump! He still wouldn’t be happy. He would do what he wanted to do with her and after a couple months, he’d get bored with her she still wouldn’t be enough and he’d go onto someone else. It doesn’t matter many of these men. You can be the most beautiful woman in the world that most men would love to have and you’re only good enough for a short time!!!!

[@flowerchild3312]

​​@@connieinman2467 Most of them don't care what they look like it's all about the attention and Validation they receive from strangers. Most have way less attractive affair partners than their own spouse. You are right! They get bored fast and basically take on anything except their partner

[@trainingthebeasts]

This is sick! This is psycho! Why dirty things even exist!?

[@Times-of-Jonah]

Read the book called Tomorrow and Tomorrow,written back in the 1960s or so. It describes two types of people, the Vikes and the Rees. Vikes lived vicariously, they preferred porn and disliked actual sex and raising children. They did drugs regularly and women often went bare-breasted. The Rees were the realists, enjoyed natural relations and having children. I remember getting goosebumps when a friend handed me the book. Tomorrow and Tomorrow seemed prophetic, and a lot of the details are Today and Today.

[@lynnschaeferle-zh4go]

Thank you for the topic. My love life tanked when internet porn got good. 1) I got old and he didn’t 2.) I expected mutual pleasure and I could tell he was paying someone so he didn’t have to do anything 3.) I didn’t deserve it 4.) he physically trashed his body so the mechanics weren’t fitting. 5.) he enjoyed making love to himself better. Now I’m gone I laugh at the idea that if he wants another woman he has to pretend to make love

[@alisacinnamon1693]

Wow!! I'm blown away. It so accurately describes where I used to be with him.

[@muma6559]

Wow!! They see sex as dirty and degraded instead of lovely and wholesome and appropriate

[@SarahLynnLove888]

Great video!! I appreciate the explanation!

[@muma6559]

That's shocking, but it does make sense. A deeply set path where love and arousal shall never meet. So sad

[@Naturehealingperspectives33]

Yes! First husband, second relationship, short term relationships. If they watch porn, it's a no go. 💣

[@kateesaia]

Yes, I lived with this for 24 years. My husband started withholding sex on our honeymoon.

[@muma6559]

I'm so sorry. 😥

[@muma6559]

@@LS38389 He couldn't wait to drop the facade

[@lilc5353]

​@muma6559 oh wow Okay 😮😢

[@ryanrichards8340]

Same here. Rolled over and ignored me on our honeymoon.

[@annbressie8615]

same

[@lorrainesmith.4995]

But they start off just fine with the partner or wife....it fades and women get fed up trying to keep it alive. My first husband told me to go walk the street if i want it. I left him. I am happier alone. its less humiliating.

[@sonyablackwood4389]

“Mind blowing weirdness!” Lol indeed it is. Jeeeeeeez!!!

[@stephanieelizabethkopecky565]

Thank you for this video! Ex husband prostitutes and massage parlors. Father of child porn addiction. I have zero desire for a relationship after being in these situations

[@debbierippy759]

Child porn is really sick. Tell him he needs to grow up because he's not a man.

[@tinap8227]

Yeah this was my experience, he woild gaslight that he loved me, I am beautiful, would express that also to others when talking about me. Would also try to say all men are like this and lose interest. I didn't get denied it completely but it was an effort and felt like he did it out of obligation, became robotic. Then he would leave his cumrags out showing that he was using porn ... This all made sense wmonce I figured out he was a narc, but until that I was so confused.

[@HabeshiEthio]

Thank u I watched the other video of u about 4 reasons wow! This is exactly happened to me .I found about it recently and it blows my head like hearing what I been through all alone from somebody else !!thank u again!!

[@edwinawalker6300]

yes my evil ex was caught with porn magazines years back..said wanted to know what these woman were about!! then repeatedly i I caught him online..he was evil.then when he left ..and i tried to make it ip he wanted phone sex..etc..always couldn't value me..narcissist evil..divorced him now..watch these signs ladies xx

[@SassyG17]

No the best choice for me to continue on my divorce journey.. thank you for this video!

[@katkritta5396]

Once again Kevin you have hit the mail on the head. Going through this experience was the most painful thing. It’s made me pull back from even wanting a relationship ever again. Porn is like alcohol it destroys and decays people and the natural beautiful order God put in place.

[@connieinman2467]

Thank you for confirming what I figured out on my own by living it and reading material!

[@seeUnique1]

I have been living with this very thing for over 20 yrs. I found out this past April when someone came to my house and told me he was having an affair with someone he works with for years. I cut him off but have no way to support myself now so I can't leave him and he won't leave me. I need help leaving his nasty ass but can't find any. So I keep the peace but NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER. Just waiting for a miracle.

[@a.g.h.655]

Same

[@Ptls68]

Distance silent treatment no intimacy neglect ect is punishment and controll

[@mer51227]

Wow! Thank you. This makes so much sense to me now.

[@KariPagee]

My ex literally got off on my pain. Left that guy and im never looking back. My ex has zero empathy he just loves to hurt people he gets off on it. Never again.

[@susannegoldmann6491]

Narcicists cannot love

[@pulidobl]

Also, I think some are gay deep down inside. They repress it for religious/cultural reasons. Sad…

[@debbierippy759]

Closet homosexuals are a big reason. Mine had porn issues and finally 'came out of the closet' so to speak. I feel dirty having been with a pervert. Left him when I found out.

[@debbierippy759]

Mother issues as well.

[@pulidobl]

@@debbierippy759 don’t be. You didn’t know!🫂

[@pulidobl]

@@debbierippy759 THIS

[@marleneburke-barrett6651]

Hi Kevin I finally left my narcissistic husband and inadvertently my son who is 15. I wanted him to come with me but he chose to stay with his dad. I was trying to co- parent by going by them to help out with household chore but my husband sees it as an opportunity to get me back. I had to stop. He sent me a text saying that the cost of loving me is a brokenheart after he abused me in every way.

[@kabita8830]

I find my husband watching porn and talking with lady boys online. He hasn’t meet these people in physically yet because they are from Philippines and we live in UK. I know it’s cheating. What shall do? Im in really a situation😭😭

[@mariabatlles7032]

Don't walk... RUN!

[@nicolehayes6020]

U just explained my father to me in a nutshell and maybe that’s why he was an alcoholic 🤫🤷🏻‍♀️

[@jenniferanderson1218]

Wow 🤯 I’m so glad I stumbled upon this video!!

[@angelabastida6223]

The Madonna explanation makes perfect sense!

[@yhelgacutan1558]

Everything you said is just so true... I wish I was able to see this videos 5 years ago.... I was with the a man who exactly. Match your description of being a narcissist.....

[@dmarzula]

The narcissist enjoys the degradation.

[@Rosin-x5o]

My x-husband would watch porn all the time, and not have sex with me. Made me feel like garbage, and unwanted. Sexually useless and rejected. Like what was wrong with me???????? That really, HURT. 😢😢😢😢

[@DF-dd5nf]

Oh, I am so happy for you to leave a toxic man like this !!! This world is extremely toxic, with many, many toxic people around. This is why many women prefer to stay alone. ❤❤❤

[@thresabeasley1812]

It’s happening to me for 43 years. He watched porn many years.

[@axamichelle8319]

I had whole house stinking of crispy dirty tissues,paper bins full.He had dirty books 3ft high.Vile