Best HFY Reddit Stories: Going Too Far (r/HFY)

The unwritten laws of war...
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/GIJoeVibin
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#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[@Zakvadr1995]

Aliens: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! Humanity: *I HAVE NO IDEA! BUT IT’S WORKING!*

[@planetfall5056]

I get that you are joking but... "We learnt that Humans value planned chaos above all else. That may sound like an oxymoron, but it’s simple really. They prize chaos as a weapon, seeking to inflict it, channel it, utilise it at decisive points. *That doesn’t mean some sort of ‘can’t predict our moves if we don’t know what we’re doing’ nonsense,* it means their plans are designed to break the plans of their enemies, and shatter every possible fall back option. 70 destroyers with weapons we’d never seen before, right in the middle of our fleet, that was planned chaos made manifest."

[@gameplayer1837]

@@planetfall5056 Both are or can be reasonable effective if you know how to implement it, especially if you do "can’t predict our moves if we don’t know what we’re doing" + making plans on the fly I've no reason to share this comment but I wanted to share my thoughts on it

[@Rawkit_Surgeon]

The enemy can't possibly know what we're doing if we ourselves don't know what we're doing!

[@LordWaterBottle]

-- The Russian Army, apparently

[@petercooper456]

Infallible logic

[@dvoracj]

⁰0⁰0⁰0

[@kdrapertrucker]

Reminds me of a German officer's explanation on why they couldn't counter U.S. forces in WWII despite spies getting all documentation of U.S. military doctrine.

[@dav51]

@@kdrapertrucker what was the explanation?

[@taitano12]

Cool. So, let me get this straight. We're objectively behind everyone else in most ways, but, because we followed a path no one else even thought of... So, like if our modern civilization never discovered gunpowder, but some undiscovered tribe in the Amazon has had it for centuries. We go in with crossbows and longswords, they come out with Gatlin guns and mortar fire. Sure, the Xenos have propulsion, shields and whatnot centuries ahead of us, but we have shaped nuclear weapons and the insanity to come up with Controlled Chaos. So, some allies(?) give us a bit of an upgrade and suddenly we're on an overall equal footing. Nice.

[@Del-Moss]

Sounds like it, though its probably also running on the assumption that because on earth humans are one of the few animals that regularly attack each other, that it led to an advantage against those who only had to start true military strategy once they met other sapients.

[@gabrielandradeferraz386]

@@Del-Moss or those who unified too early to see combined arms warfare with drones and cyberattacks.

[@mr.cactus934]

Controlled chaos is a very real thing used today even. It’s a tool proven again and again to be useful and effective

[@generalharness8266]

There are two ideas in space combat, Long rang slug fests where the idea is to just unload until you get lucky. Think battleship duels of the World wars when you had rangefinders but not radar. So shoot lots and have educated guess work as range finders still required the human eye. The other idea is close combat dog fighting. Ships use some form of FTL to get close enough to harm the enemy. Knife fight. I can see a alien armada not even considering the FTL approach if they have systems in place to prevent it from happening as well as considering there battleships the prime posting. So crews untrained whose roll is either become a target or harassments but do not leave the protection of the big guns so to speak. In this its clearly implied humans did something to take over the group of aliens and we would flounder or rely on the old tactics and it appears we did for years until we managed to get a critical engagement like midway.

[@Voron_Aggrav]

Before that battle we where working with the results of our First Contact War, Xenos Tech either used as is or crudely copied, something that was Enough to get the job done meanwhile the next generation of ships and Tech got put into the reserves until we had enough to ensure their deployment would shatter their opposition, and as there wasn't a gradual uptick in Tech thrown against both sides the enemy had no chance or idea of what was heading their way Quite clever and the usage of Destroyers for a Thunder Run also brilliant

[@Executioner9000]

this is one of the best "human curbstomp" stories i have ever heard. It actually makes since and aside from one very powerful weapon, the humans are just Average in tech, but having Nuclear HEAT missiles is hilarious and exactly what humans would make if we could figure it out.

[@Ally5141]

casaba howitzers are, somewhat, real, it's a cold war project

[@worldcomicsreview354]

@@Ally5141 Every other alien: Nuclear weapons? Nice idea, but we'd never set one off in our own atmosphere, lets wait until we can deploy them in space. Humans: Bangy-bang machine goes brrr.

[@donaldscholand4617]

The cruiser Courageous, the battle ship Valiant, and the dreadnought Homicidal Insanity, to name a few. 😂

[@VRDejaVu]

Man, if i ever buy a boat i'll promise to name it Homicidal Insanity. That name rocks.

[@notarealfirstnamenotareall746]

Destroyer crews being the most well trained goes back to the world war times. Originally it wasn't some sort of pride thing, but because a destroyer crew could train much more often than any other crew. A destroyer can fire off 100 practice rounds for the same price it costs a battleship to fire 1, or a cruiser 20. So those crews quickly become much better trained. If that wasn't enough, navies put their most aggressive commanders on destroyers. If a captain believes in shoving his ship straight down the enemies throat and then murderizing everything within range, then he will be put on the cheapest, most replaceable ship class you've got. After all, battleships are expensive and navies would much rather those boats stay safe than be put where they would be shot the most. So you combine the most aggressive commanders with crews who have the most training, and you've got a bunch of elite lunatics who are out for blood. There's stories during WWII of destroyer gunners missing limbs begging the people trying to extract them from a destroyed turret to help them load one last round into the already destroyed gun so they can shoot it at the biggest target they can find.

[@lukaszjanusz4230]

Destroyer crews during WW2 where some crazy bastards. During the Atlantic war the ORP Piorun engaged Bismarck 1 v 1, and maintained artillery contact for about 1h allowing the British destroyers to close in. ORP Piorun got as close as 7km from Bismarck.

[@Voron_Aggrav]

@@lukaszjanusz4230 all the while the sodding thing was signalling the Bismarck "I Am Pole!"

[@s1p-manalomarcusangelor.819]

The HMS Glowworm being one of those, straight up ramming the Admiral Hipper.

[@eindrake8418]

@@s1p-manalomarcusangelor.819 Thank you for mentioning this, I hadn't heard about it before and it made for a very interesting read.

[@spymaster0017]

​@@lukaszjanusz4230 let not forget the time 3 destroyers took on a Japanese taskforce

[@mattbrown5511]

Ask any man that has been in combat if there any such thing as "overkill". I dare you to. This 4-combat tour infantryman can tell you that there is no such thing as overkill. There is prepared and defeat. And defeat brings death to you and, more importantly, your friends.

[@zambekiller]

Alien - Human how did you know where we would show up? Pvt Jake - because I called HEADS!!!

[@reggiehigh22]

If that was the story that was released to the aliens that would be even scarier in my opinion

[@zambekiller]

@@reggiehigh22 unlike to think the coin flip is the correct story but the humans had to give the aliens a more logical answer because telling them it was some random Pvt flipping a coin would have made them die of embarrassment

[@thomasschulz2167]

I read that in the German Commander's voice from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged... "WHAT DID YOU DO?!?! I CALLED HEADS!!!!!!!" 🤣🤣🤣

[@zambekiller]

@@thomasschulz2167 Nun, das war der Punkt

[@katathoombz]

What a coincidence. I just learned about the nuclear-detonation-to-plasma-beam-tech a day or two ago, and now I bump into this.

[@Kualinar]

«UNV Walkbacks Into Hell» What a Lovely name.

[@thatoneradiohost2737]

"(I will face god and) Walk backwards into hell". Nice.

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@empty_thesaurus]

And for the Blood God

[@Gamba.2213]

Yes

[@shadowwalkeroffire4853]

The title and the first sentence had me thinking of something else entirely. Like there’s a metaphorical line for morals you shouldn’t cross or you’ll suffer a hellish wrath.

[@peterwall8191]

Brilliant piece of writing, brilliantly narrated.

[@prometheuslxi3125]

The name for the frigate at the end was beautiful

[@benjamintherogue2421]

Warship names should always be so beautiful and/or defiant.

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

He’s just over there.. orbiting... MENACINGLY!!!’

[@johnadler6987]

"theories on that are they had no idea on how much was kill, so they opted simple and went with overkill..." correct, but not for the reasons you think: Most of the time, we don't even know the difference between kill and overkill... we're just too good at killing. Lmao.

[@benjamintherogue2421]

"Huh, we thought that was going to be a lot harder." Humans so used to being the least physically threatening thing on their own homeworld they subconsciously apply that to their combat engagements with aliens.

[@spymaster0017]

​@@benjamintherogue2421 or huh it still not powerful enough, cause why not make it bigger

[@thomasschulz2167]

Overkill is under rated. -Hannibal Smith

[@foxalpha09]

Kill is kill

[@tinfoilhat3268]

Nuclear powered explosive plasma penetration you've my attention

[@billtheunknown917]

it just a overpower HEAT round

[@billtheunknown917]

@@VRDejaVu he said they use nuke to propel a bit of metal at absurd velocities that a HEAT, a HESH is Squash againt the armor then Explose to produce a shock wave traveling in the armor and causing spall in the fighting compartment

[@tacticoolshaydes5349]

@@billtheunknown917 a nuclear propelled rod would be a radioactive sabot shell, the casaba howitzer is a true HEAT round

[@SirAlex0014]

I really loved this one! More from this author please.

[@hunter5822]

5:11 I like this story, well thought out so far.

[@Nemean-se5k]

HEAT warheads using nukes xD

[@diegosmith2569]

Lol the training required to master weaponised organized chaos

[@mikearroyo3961]

I think I would be asking, "Are you a spy"?

[@michaellively6467]

Loved this one. More from this author please!

[@russellperry9902]

meanwhile china is sailing balloons at us and shooting grr=een lasers at hawaii and montanna...

[@lanceknowlton1871]

For the algorithm and Terra Sol!

[@gregoryfrechou]

UNV Walk Backwards into Hell me: (snorts)

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@codycannon8507]

Brothers and sisters, now is not the time to be covetous, for the algorithm hungers.

[@arlyssstewart3040]

+

[@benjamincasatimcintosh2918]

The nuke particle beam and nuke kinematics were brilliant

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank You for the reading Merry Christmas

[@tomhchappell]

Kept my interest from beginning to end!

[@00Athus1]

NUCLEAR SHAPE CHARGE

[@JRRodriguez-nu7po]

Weaponized organized chaos: kindergarten.

[@seanrobert9661]

[documented contact]

[@someasiandude4797]

We made nuclear shaped charges 💀

[@The_Racr1]

nuclear H.E.A.T. missiles, lol

[@kevinthiago413]

the algorith has reached me!

[@g00b3rguts3]

Really good one

[@Impuu]

damn good piece of writing. good job with the narration.

[@isaiahpelly8370]

First For The Algorithm

[@steve-oi5qn]

Would love to say to enjoy this more. As a non native speaker, it is hard for me to follow the story with the immense change of tonation of your voice and the increadible speed of your narration. Would love to hear a more 'calm' and/ or 'slow' narration in the future. Thanks for your effort and time to tell this story despite my criticism. 😊

[@lunarwrase]

Yes only a human could come up with a name “Walk backwards into Hell”

[@juanpablo4831]

What is this from i love this

[@norneaernourn8240]

We are good with things that go-boom. Not quite as good with pew-pew. So I think it makes sense to harness that power that go-boom proper. Propelling whatever we can get our hands on, things that can withstand that kind of acceleration without getting pulverized, with accuracy and mind shattering speeds. It is only logical.

[@brayachdragonbane7529]

in the end, all of our ranged weapons are merely an evolution of "pointy stick throwers"

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@channelcatfish7862]

Naval raider doctrine

[@guard3298]

FRICK IT RANDOM BS GO!!!!

[@calvingreene90]

Jeune École done right.

[@hokutoulrik7345]

Probably the only example of it actually working as intended.

[@calvingreene90]

@@hokutoulrik7345 It is a strategy for a poor weak country to stand up to a rich powerful country's navy. You have to achieve surprise.

[@calvingreene90]

@@hokutoulrik7345 It is a strategy for a poor weak country to stand up to a rich powerful country's navy. You have to achieve surprise.

[@hokutoulrik7345]

@@calvingreene90 I know. I follow Drach. He has explained it many a time in the drydock.

[@Djm95454]

What language does the joke work in?

[@prestonjones1653]

That's what I want to know

[@maheswarpradeep2816]

English. Alien is talking in his language. Mistake at Mitrovak

[@jmoneyjoshkinion4576]

Fifth. FOR THE ALGORITHM!!

[@TheHighborn]

Can somebody tell me what is ISFM?

[@brayachdragonbane7529]

he lists it off at the start the FTL nukes/ planet crackers... hence why you keep a celestial body near your fleet, so that they cant shoot them without killing the prize for winning

[@rodgemic]

2nd

[@JaneDoe-xi1sn]

3000th like nice

[@jackuellee]

3rd

[@angrygnome44]

11th

[@bruhbruh1606]

very good narration. Just wanted to let u know for the future, and if you want to, the accepted way to pronounce the acronym CIWS is: see-wiz! stands for Close-In Weapon System

[@halogeek6]

No. You say the letters you heathen!

[@maximsavage]

Also accepted is "R2-D2 with a hard-on", I've heard. Though that takes longer to say and is probably less accurate in space-future-land.

[@bigjtexas2309]

Idk, part of me likes this story, but I was taken out of it due to the “light damage” to the human fleet. I get the weapons being stronger, but for the shielding and armor to not be at a lvl to allow for damage to be taken took me out of the story. I was expecting heavy dmg to most ships or most of the fleet being heavily damaged.

[@brayachdragonbane7529]

we're talking about kinetic penetrating shells being launched by NUKES, ionized plasma lances cooked off by atomic fury... the xeno fleet was prepared for ENERGY weaponry and was hit by concentrated Unga Bunga on a interplanetary scale. being launched by ships moving in and out in such a frenzy that the attacked forces barely had the time to TRY and react... its shock warfare; Blitzkrieg combined with Asymmetric warfare... or as the story itself said, pure controlled chaos. its hard to shoot someone who just punched you in the back of the head so hard you cant see straight, and then ran off before you could stand back up.

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the algorithm