YOUR GRIEF WILL GET JUDGED! No matter what you do, someone will disagree // One Happy Widow

This week is a bit of a rant. I have found that your grief will get judged, no matter what you do! So, instead of trying to please others, start with yourself. At the end of the day, your grief journey is your own, and as long as you are not hurting yourself or others, you should do what is right for YOU.
I will admit, I get a little more hot under the collar in this video than I usually do...blame it on grief, menopause, stress, my job, take your pick! But I needed to let off some steam, so you get to watch it in action.
And I'm sure THIS video will get a fair share of negative comments, but I'm ready for it. I also know there are plenty of my fellow #widfam who can totally relate to this topic! Share your own stories of how people have judged your grief in the comments. We all need to vent and release the pressure sometimes, right? I have lost a husband, I think I have earned the right to gripe for a bit!
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MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, counselor, or any other medical professional. Information in this video is not meant to be interpreted as medical advice. I am simply sharing my own experiences in my grief journey. If you feel that your needs are beyond the scope of the informational content of this video, please seek medical advice from your doctor to discuss treatments or medications that may be available to you. If you are having feelings or thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255
Helping you find your happy in the grieving process
Life, Love, and Laughter after Loss

[@barbaraingram5147]

Soon to be 8 years in May, unexpectedly. Grief still hits ... frequently. Until a person walks in my shoes do not judge my actions because you don't understand.

[@sandramessenger2044]

Barbara Ingram - you know I hate when people ask when did your husband pass I'm always afraid to say 2015 as I feel ashamed that I'm still saying I became a widow at 49 yrs.old. and I'm still suffering from grief. He was sick for ten years different cancers heart attacks and comas and last rites three times in different ICU situation. That horror became part of my life and it's hard to just start living without having ptsd, depression and God knows what else. I used to get anxiety when another year passed as I felt like I couldn't get past the grief and people didn't understand I was still so upset if they found out how long it had been. I understand you and appreciate your walk thru your grieving, no one has the right to judge anyone. Big hugs back at you and best wishes.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@leighg6343]

You never move on , you just move through it.🦋

[@OneHappyWidow]

Exactly! #widfam

[@dannypendergrass9750]

Yes yes

[@pj9547]

Exactly … yes You’re so right..

[@truelily7]

I was in Palliative care alone with my husband in that unit of the V.A. hospital. We were both older people. I was not sure whether to have my grandson run me home and I grab a couple of things. I wasn't sure when he would pass, if I might be there for days. We lived only minutes away. But I wasn't sure what to do exactly. It was like a strange dream. I did run home. I got back quick and he passed that night. I got to play some beautiful music for him right before he passed. I was just lucky is all. He could have passed when I went home. I had no children to consider. I can just imagine your difficult situation. I had never imagined that situation. I planned for him to die at home but he had been in hospital over a month and they said he might go in the process of making arrangements for home. I had help from docs, social workers and director of palliative care and still was a hard decision. You did nothing wrong dear. You did what you had to do. I would not have put my kids through that either. Even my grown grandchildren had a rough time seeing my husband just almost gone in the time they visited. Long story. I appreciate your candor and honesty. It is very helpful. This journey is a long hard journey with bumps. I am working on being a happy widow with SOME sad days. I will try to forgive those " Supreme Court Judges" for their ignorance.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching. I’m glad you got back to your husband in time to play him the music. None of it is easy, and there’s no handbook on how to how to watch your spouse slip away from you one day at a time. -#widfam

[@sheilafreisthler4421]

Many of the things you talked about definitely hit home. My oldest son was upset that I didn’t bury my husband, his dad, in a suit. Vince rarely wore a suit, so was buried in a nice polo shirt and blue jeans. Someone commented on the improvements I made to our home after he passed. They had been put on hold when he got sick. And lastly, I got grief about continuing to wear my wedding band at almost three years out. A wonderful old nun told me a few weeks after my husband’s death that you never get over the death of a loved one, you learn to cope. And some days I don’t cope as well as others. You have been a great help to me during this time.

[@OneHappyWidow]

You certainly have had your share of judgement! #widfam

[@truelily7]

I will wear my ring forever, which my husband actually made. I am going on seventy and no interest in anyone else. If people don't approve of my ring too cotton picking bad. What has it even got to do with them?

[@truelily7]

My husband's remains were donated to a medical school, as mine will be. But if he had had a casket I would never have buried him in a suit. The only time he ever wore a suite was his Mom's s funeral and our daughter's wedding, and that was reluctantly. I would have chosen new sweat pants and a tie dye T-Shirt. He never worn anything but that type of thing. Sometimes a flannel shirt, or button down or shorts. He thought all the other stuff pretentious and uncomfortable. I miss him so much.

[@brendaroberts1469]

You are right on with everything. Thank you because widows,especially new widows, need to know this.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@karenhusmann6881]

Way to go. I am right there with you. Lost my husband 15 months ago after being married 48 yrs. No one understands unless they have been there. Starting dating my husband at 15. I had known him since we were 12.We grew up together. So easy to judge. You are right nobody wants to hear about your grief. Time to move on.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and for your support! #widfam

[@myliverandme]

That nephew needs an attitude adjustment. So do the rest of the family who dare to say ANYTHING about what you do, how you spend money, etc. Ridiculous. Why do people think they have a RIGHT to question ANYTHING we do? Jealousy is bottom line when it comes to any comments about the life insurance money. Pitiful. Hard to believe some family members think they should be able to get what is ONLY for the widow or widower. Pure envy. Sickening. Let them go through the absolute heart-ripping pain of losing a loved spouse, then see what they have to say. Keep up the good work in your videos. We appreciate them!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Preach it! #widfam

[@sandramessenger2044]

From Kitchener Ontario Canada, it's seven years and grief still pops up at least once a day. If I'm discussing my husband's birthday date and I get emotional we are one day apart so I usually don't want to celebrate my b.d. as he can't celebrate his and if I cry about his memorial day on March 27th and I share it's been seven years I get alot of well the past is the past. Then I shut down and ignore that person for a long time. It's usually a family member so it makes it harder. If I was married to my husband for 33 years more then two thirds of my life I have a right to acknowledge his birthday or his date of departure. Now I don't share with them and I keep things superficial as I'm tired of being judged as well. Thank you for comments.

[@barbaraingram5147]

Big hug from Iowa

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@karenlingenfelter6465]

You are amazing and have nothing to apologize for. My husband passed away 2 years ago after a long illness. I've experienced similar judgements. God bless you kiddo.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! -#widfam

[@kv8353]

You are so right! I have an amazing group of people that surround me and do not judge me with my second husband's death and what I do. Now, after my first husband died, yes there was judgement especially when I got remarried. Now, people instead of judging, they watch what I do and what I spend. Even people down the road watch what I do... People will be people! I think they try to 'fix' our pain by suggestions too. The life of a widow is not easy. We need to be independent, brave, secure, and thick skinned, plus deal with the extreme pain of losing the man we loved! Thanks so much for the video! Have a blessed day!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching…such good advice about having a thick skin! #widfam

[@Suhanthi96]

❤️ You got real guts, lady! You are doing enough, just remember that. I lost my husband unexpectedly a year ago, and going through much. Single parenting is so tough and at times feels like giving up. Add to that, comments and judgement just makes you feel worse. Your video is an inspiration, thank you for sharing and it is not an easy thing to do.

[@bevcorbett7839]

Thanks Leo...I was widowed 2 yrs ago...husband had Alzheimers...yes I was judged before he died too!

[@sheilab4978]

You are one tough cookie…..AND you will be judged for that too! This whole widow life is messed up!! I stay mad at everyone, because I’m so over being judged!

[@OneHappyWidow]

I did for a long time…then I realized it was hurting me so much more than them…so I’m trying to learn to “let it go, let it go!!!” Most days I can, but sometimes you just gotta rant! #widfam

[@barbaraingram5147]

Leo I look at it as righteous anger, not ranting. :)

[@rhondawilkins_]

I am 4 1/2 years out from Keith's death just like Leo. I have adult kids ages 29, 26, and 21. 2 boys, the youngest a girl. The first 2 years we were all a mess, needed counseling, grief therapy, and to figure out LIFE without my husband of 25 years, and their Dad. Keith died from stage 4 colorectal cancer at age 54, fought 3 1/2 years at CTCA NEWNAN, GEORGIA. Today, Carson , age 29 is a General Manager of 5 Fast Food Restaurants and fixing to own them. Caleb, age 26....just became a Registered Nurse and is giving back to those who helped his Dad. Ashelyn, age 21 grads college in December and starts LAW SCHOOL in January , 2023. Grateful 🙏 that the Lord became my husband and walks beside me everyday.Also, he's a " Father to the Fatherless to my kids." I'm still a SINGLE WIDOW and my children are SURVIVORS! Blessed and highly favored 🙌 of the Lord... And I will be reunited one day for ETERNITY with Keith in heaven.Psalm 91 Btw....and oh, I'm still wearing my " 10 carat princess wedding 💍 ring" and since Keith worked 10 years to purchase the ring for my 20th anniversary, I'll wear it as long as I please....JUDGE ME.

[@OneHappyWidow]

No judgement from us, of course! Kudos to all of your kids and their success. They have overcome great odds to get where they are. I pray for my children every day that they will be good people and live happy lives. A-#widfam

[@rhondawilkins_]

@@OneHappyWidow Thank you Leo! Man, this video was the entire TRUTH about a widows " walk with widowhood ,the severe STIGMA, and the awful treatment we receive [ like we are lepers]." I'm so thankful you OPENED THE EYES 👀 of anyone who watches this, and bring AWARENESS to the "death walk" we also take when our spouse is fighting a terminal illness or passes from something quickly.I am still relatively young [ early 50's] and I also had the Mother In Law from Hell who tormented me, my husband and her grandkids the entire 25 years Keith and I were married.She didn't even speak to her grandkids at the church celebration of life for Keith, and I have NOT heard from her since the funeral...she is 80 years old next week.I just try to do what Jesus did on the cross and when people hurt me I just whisper under my breath, " Father forgive them, they have no idea what they are doing." It's helped me resolve a lot of anger at people judging me during my now 4 1/2 year journey with widowhood. Keep praying 🙏 for your 4 kids....they will make it thru this mess by the GRACE OF FATHER GOD. Love to you and your family from Arkansas.❤🐽

[@tresseyz.7330]

Yep. I've had so many you shoulds... I just wish I could us it to build a stairway to heaven just to see him again.

[@sandramessenger2044]

Love that, I'd be building one to heaven right along side of you!

[@conniemcduffee5596]

Leo, I'm so sorry you have such sad experiences with criticism. My husband of 52 years has been gone a little over 2 years. I don't feel I've had a problem with critical people, but about 2 months after his death, my relative asked if I was "over it all" yet. Well, no. And I might never be. God bless you as you minister to other widows.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Connie, you are fortunate that you haven’t had much backlash. Sometimes my judgement comes because I choose to put my story out on the internet, so of course I open myself up to let people comment, and that’s where the trolls love to come out. I choose to take that risk, because I think I help more people than the number of negative comments. And most of the time I chuckle and don’t give it a second thought. But every once in a while, things just rub you the wrong way! #widfam

[@jankarel6454]

As a long-time caregiver before my husband died, I was already really over trying to think that people just didn't know what to say, and that all the bad things they said were innocent. All too often, they knew exactly what they were saying. (I could write a book here.)

[@OneHappyWidow]

Maybe you should! I’d buy it lol. -#widfam

[@blingmomangie]

I would read it!!

[@phendrahend9530]

Thank you.. So many people think they know more about losing a spouse than those of us that actually have. Even if they have, no two people grieve in the same way. We are individuals. Hope you enjoyed the birthday party! (and that your son attended too).

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you…and my son went and made a couple of new friends! #widfam

[@dorislacaze8475]

It’s hard for children to have to deal with seeing their lived one be sick and sue they don’t know how to deal with it or understand it , it’s to hard . For a grand mother to treat her grandchildren that way is uncalled for , I understand her grief at loosing her only child but that is no excuse for her behavior toward your grandchildren and if you love your child you will be kind and loving to the people he loves . She sounds like a spoiled self centered woman . She will regret her behavior one day hopefully

[@dorislacaze8475]

You never know what you would do untill your in that situation so no one should judge another for how things went down in their personal grief journey.

[@dorislacaze8475]

Thank you for this talk I appreciate it all , it helps me a great deal .

[@susanswayngim1854]

So true...judging happens! I think maybe I was lucky having developed a thick skin ages ago. We got married at 17, had 3 kids close together in age. We got judged aplenty and I decided right off I can never please some people and I won't try. We were married 49 years and most of them can't claim that success! I'm still caught off guard occasionally by comments and my response has been "rather than judge me, you may want to take notes. Someday, the odds are you will be widowed." It stops them cold and I move on, lol. Not sure if that could be helpful to others, but I hope so. Thank you for sharing your grief journey. You have helped me so much over the past 6 months.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I like your come-back! #widfam

[@blingmomangie]

I am so happy to see your response! I say that as well when I am backed into a corner. The judging just blows my mind sometimes!

[@charlye6380]

I agree, you handled it well with your children. I say the same thing, "well if that happens to you, then u tell me how u would have handled it?"

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and for your feedback! #widfam

[@barbaranelson5177]

I’m 63 my husband has been in a nursing home 6 years , I get so judged for going to bowling out with friends , he hasn’t known me for for years ! This makes me so sad ,mad and bitter towards people . And people make me feel horrible about myself because I’m not the doting wife I should be , I never imagined this ever happening to me, I have even been ask why I’m in this group , I just don’t fit in anywhere

[@ladonnawilson2145]

You do belong with us Barbara

[@truelily7]

My husband was in and out of mental confusion due to liver disease before he died. Also I was once CNA in long term care and I was a caregiver for my husband for several years before he died. You have to have a break from it or go crazy. You have to have a life apart from anticipatory grief and caregiving or sitting in the nursing home. What you do is none of their business, the judges. If they are "friends" I would suggest new friends.

[@wcgl5595]

Yes, Barbara, you belong with us♥️

[@OneHappyWidow]

I can understand your frustration! You can’t be expected to spend every waking moment by the bedside…you have to live and do something for yourself to keep your own sanity! #widfam

[@barbaraingram5147]

Once again her video is right on

[@barbaraingram5147]

Anybody with common sense would not say the horrible things they said. Sorry. But I'm disappointed in the actions of her former MIL . Isn't it easy to judge somebody for something they haven't gone through. BIG HUGS TO LEO and everyone grieving Righteous anger is beautiful

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@deemarch2089]

Totally understand this a lot parallels we just didn’t have kids. God bless you ~ no one tells us on what to do when we are there lone man standing watching them actively Die in front of us. The elephant in the room is the Cancer not anyones Fault !

[@OneHappyWidow]

I agree, thanks for watching! #widfam

[@miram2053]

The thing that's so sad is that people are judging someone e else's experiences with loss. He's not coming back. We can't change it as much as we may wish.

[@OneHappyWidow]

You are right, and the judgement is all too common. Thanks for watching #widfam

[@angelofmercy3893]

You did the right thing - don’t beat yourself up - if your husband could speak he would thank you for putting the kids first

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your feedback! #widfam

[@loisweimer6832]

You are right on...I needed this so much

[@loisweimer6832]

8 years and still being judged...need a break

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@christinapatterson7300]

Leo I am so sorry people have treated you like that. I just lost my husband February 13,2022 it has been so hard we would have celebrated our 40th anniversary in June. I think you are awesome! Thank you for your channel it is helping me so much.❤️💔

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and I’m so sorry for your fresh loss. 🙏

[@bettiefrisby9844]

I am so sorry you have had to deal with so many negative people in your life. You have helped me thru some really rough times & I haven't had this criticism yet. My husband & I were married 51 years & have 2 grown sons. They didn't need to be there every second that he was dying. I chose to be there & would not have had it any other way. I can't imagine having young children go thru that. God bless you & thank you for sharing your story & making me realize that I am not going thru this alone & my feelings are not so unusual.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@barbaraingram5147]

LEO. I'm smiling and giving you high5s Everything you are saying is true. I am so very sorry you have gone through so much, and the hurtful hings people have said out of pure ignorance.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you, sometimes I don’t understand the heartlessness of people! -#widfam

[@barbaraingram5147]

I KNOW your husband would have been very proud of the way you handled everything and your life now. Continued prayers your way.

[@theprettystitch7092]

I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences during your husband's illness and death. I really appreciate your videos and Facebook page. Some people are just jerks! Unfortunately life isn't always like the movies and books regarding death. It's often messy and unpredictable. We don't always get the perfect idyllic goodbye. People who have not had to deal with loss often don't get that. I was not with my husband when he died. The ambulance would not let me go with him due to covid. However, even though he had been sick, we thought it was just a setback having to go in the ambulance back to the hospital. (He had an infection that he was expected to recover from according to the doctors, but he took an unexpected turn and didn't make it.) For the most part I have been blessed with lots of support. However, I am very careful about what and who I share things with. My kids and I have had to deal with some craziness while planning and during my husband's funeral. I have chosen to distance myself from them. I absolutely refuse to get sucked into their drama. My kids and I are vulnerable and don't need the unnecessary stress. I'm sure people have judged me, but I really don't care. God knows my heart and His opinion matters most to me. I'm just trying to do the best that I can for myself and my kids.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Such wise words! Thanks for sharing #widfam

[@jeankarcher2460]

Amen. Leo you have helped me and so many others. The non-widowed people can be just plain stupid, especially the young ones (like your nephew). Some people always judge whatever the situation. Keep putting out this important info. You are appreciated.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you for the nice words! #widfam

[@Butterfly.2002]

Leo, thank you for showing your vulnerability, love your openness and honesty….we’re on a roller coaster ride while we try to find our way in this new life we didn’t ask for. I find I rarely talk about my feelings with friends who are still married. I’m learning to not care what people think…there will always be someone with an opinion……so glad I found your Channel…you’re a breath of fresh air ❤️

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and for sharing your feedback! -#widfam

[@ladonnawilson2145]

I’m so glad you had a podcast even if it wasn’t live

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@glynnyschiavoni8896]

So hard for all of you. I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of that.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@summertakacs-michaelsonch8842]

Thank you for your pleasant rant! I will be following your channel intently in the coming days. I just lost my Husband 2 weeks ago today. 😭 It was a long, horrific journey of 24-7 caregiving. I am beside myself in grief. I thought I would be ready when the time came, and I couldn't fathom what now would feel and be like. Drama from others has exploded over my Husband dying. I thought the kids and I could simply grieve. It's a lot of extra weight to carry, to have to support others reactions, when I should have the room to grieve myself. Already, widow scams have popped up too, people calling to get my Husband's as #. Judgement over my Husbands and I decision to cremate. Your late Husband's Family sounds like mine, A whole bunch of crud. All I want is for people to remember my darling Husband of 29 years, share memories, give me a hug, be gentle with us. I was delusional! I am trying my best, but there is literally no roadmap here. I'm just holding onto my kids, trying to find the best support I can for everybody, and holding onto my best friend's hand who has been there through it all with me. Your channel is a blessing, thank you! I was surprised at how angry I felt after my Husband's passing at the drama and callousness that was dropped at my feet, unnecessarily, at the very worst moment of my children's and my life!

[@OneHappyWidow]

I feel you…went through so much of his myself! Prayers for you and for your kids…God Bless you! #widfam

[@summertakacs-michaelsonch8842]

@@OneHappyWidow God bless you and your family too! THANK YOU!❤

[@stscc2009]

I just finished the video and wow. I experienced almost all the same things as you. I wish I could put words to all the things I’ve been through following my husbands passing. I experienced nasty family, friends and neighbors who only made things worse for me. It seems as a society we reserve our severest judgement for the widowed wife. The judgement is off the charts. I wonder if widowed men are judged as harshly. I always ask myself why are they acting this way towards me, is it me am I flawed. This alone caused me so much pain and agony. I have felt like I had to prove my love for my husband to so many people. Because in my mind I think they thought I didn’t love him enough. After all he got Covid from me which he ultimately died from. I chose to have a private funeral because of the pandemic and I was judged for that. I never even received condolences from some of his closest friends because his family dragged my name through the mud for the way I handled things after his death. These last 15 months have been transformational. I feel almost like a completely different person. It changed the course of my life for sure. I’m still dealing with the different grief stages. I know one thing for sure you never get over the grief. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It helped me today to share some painful things that I need to get off my chest. I’m so sorry for the pain and sorrow you experienced from others, widows deserve better.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I wish our stories were not so common! And I can tell you, my current husband is also widowed, and he has gotten plenty of judgement too, especially when he first started dating me. Once I responded to each of them, I shut them up, but they also cut ties with us… you can’t win! #widfam

[@blingmomangie]

I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate seeing your response. I have and am still experiencing this exact same scenario 3 years out! Every single family member except 1 cousin (Mom, my 2 sons, siblings,etc) and most friends have all left me abandoned with not 1 phone call, visit, text, email, etc checking on me! I am so shocked at this lack of empathy, compassion, & empty promises, displayed by those who claimed to love me! Some feedback that has made it back to me is, I don't reach out asking for help, I am grieving too much, I need to "figure it out," I am young and can meet someone else, I am the strongest person they know...I have asked for help, I have expressed that I have met my match now and it is winning! So, I have completely shut down.

[@viviannaranjo-eisen8418]

You are so right on!!! Thanks for sharing!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@viviannaranjo-eisen8418]

@@OneHappyWidow your podcast has been funny,uplifting, and encouraging. Encouraging to realize that “we” all experience grief differently and our stages are not the same. Grief comes and goes, and who knows when it will happen. You are never prepared. Thank you for your time that you open up your heart and feelings to everyone. And yes, I believe once you are a widow you are always a widow. It has happened to me twice. Widow-Married-Widow….

[@ladonnawilson2145]

Thank you so much for all your words

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@jennychathao]

You are amazing. My kids didn’t want to see their dad in that weak state. They wanted to remember him a strong person. He probably didn’t want you and the kids to see him go. My husband held on and once we left he started to go. The nurse even came to get us but she couldn’t find us. We was home for 5-10 mins and they call and told me he had pass. We was 30 mins before. And all the funeral process thing happen too.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and sharing your feedback! #widfam

[@katherinefarnham8187]

I’m so sorry many people were rude to you, even to this date. Until they have walked in your shoes, they need to “zip it”! TY for sharing your journey. This way others who are widows and widowers help them understand how people sometimes do not think! Everyone grieves differently, no proper way to time. I’m actually a nurse and volunteer for our Hospice near my home. I love loving on our bereaved families. Often they just need an ear to share their grief and be heard.❤

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks so much for watching and sharing your support!

[@blingmomangie]

You have no idea how much I appreciate you making this video. I have and continue to experience everything you stated!!!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching -#widfam

[@dannypendergrass9750]

I have listened to this 2-3 times thanks for the insight. Have not experienced this yet but I feel it is coming!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones who doesn’t experience this! Thanks for watching, and feel free to subscribe and watch the other videos if you think they might be helpful. #widfam

[@dannypendergrass9750]

In a mild way it has begun some people thinking I should do this and that when I’m not mentally prepared for it much less emotionally ready

[@kbenton8609]

You are so right. It seems every single thing I did was not acceptable to someone and unfortunately the worst seemed to come from "family". Slowly I am learning to ignore the negative, not easy for sure but worth the effort so I can have a life I am content with. Thanks Leo for all you are doing.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@doreenchen2019]

I experienced the same situation as you did and I totally agreed to you and support what you did - I didn't let my kids around w;hen my husband went... They didn't need to have this kind of memory in their life and they are totally fine with my decision.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and for your support! #widfam

[@lauriearcher7939]

Leo you have helped so many people with your honesty and openness in sharing your story. I am so grateful for you and all your videos. I don’t know where I would be without our Widfam! Haters are gonna hate no matter what. Just know how much you are loved and admired by your widow family!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you for your support, name buddy! #widfam

[@pamelariley5427]

My husband passed 6 days ago. I went home and took a shower, and right back. When he was transferred to a bigger hospital, I stayed with him constantly, I was 60 minutes from home. I was holding his hand when he took his last breath, it's my worst memory. My husband is being cremated, it's what he wanted, and that's all that matters!! Your videos are a great comfort , thank you 😊

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and sharing your support #widfam

[@michelleallen1948]

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I must be as salty and sassy as you, because I make decisions based on what I think is best for my children and grandchildren, and sometimes I make decisions based on what is best for me. I have many friends from many faiths. If you can believe it, I was criticized by someone on the day of my husband’s funeral for asking a pastor from a different faith-other than my own-to take part in my husbands service. I decided then and there that the only one whose opinion I need to worry about is my Creator’s. There may be many people who have opinions about me! I don’t even know. Lol! I used to worry a lot about what other people thought. I have reached the point where I don’t know or care if if they do or don’t. I am very sorry that you have not been supported by your late husband’s family. I can only imagine how that must hurt. Friends from a Widow support group I belong to told me to do things when I felt ready. So, I left my husband’s clothes in his closet until I was darned good and ready to go through them. I go by “Ms.” but I still wear my ring. I designed the headstone for my husband I only asked my daughter for her input-I wanted it to be a fitting tribute to the man I love with my whole heart and soul-I didn’t want anyone else’s opinions or criticism. I revealed it after it was delivered, and I love how it turned out. I have received nothing but complements. It makes me happy and brings me joy. I have many widowed friends. I post things on FB to lift and cheer us all. I occasionally share my feelings when I’m sad, because I can. My husband is cherished by his family, many of his past students, and people in his congregation-he was a spiritual leader and people remember him fondly, they tell me how much he is missed-I still post photos of him on occasion-on his Angelversary, his birthday, and on holidays. Like you, I share most of my true feelings in groups with other widowed people who really truly get it.) I will always love my husband with my whole heart. I am who I am because of him. You don’t forget your soulmate or get over them. You’re spot on-“people who really matter won’t mind, and if they mind they don’t really matter.” You are exactly right. There is “no training course on how to move forward after losing a spouse” or how to go through grief, it’s just something you do-one day at a time. I have had People tell me I am strong. Maybe that’s what I look like from afar. I am trying to heal. They don’t know what lies under the surface. Some days I am very strong, other days I am not as strong as they think. I am continuing my education. I may or may not find love again. Only God knows. I am trying to discover who I truly am. Some days I am doing things just for me. Maybe people think I am selfish-but how can I give unless I replenish and nourish myself first. I still have difficult days but I am starting to have good days. I am tired of being sad. I am slowly pulling myself up. I will continue to move forward, and like you; I am trying to lift others who are grieving. We are all moving forward on this journey through life in the best way we know how, and one of the biggest lessons everyone needs to learn is to not Judge. Have faith and hope. There are angels among us watching over us. God bless you and the many other widows and widowers that walk this difficult path. God looks out for the fatherless and the widows. ♥️🙏🏽

[@OneHappyWidow]

Amen, such wise words! Thanks for sharing. -#widfam

[@patriciachenvert2920]

Thank you for sharing your experiences and letting us know that we are not alone in our grief. Even though grieving is an individual process, we still have a lot in common and even in our darkest days, we can help and support each other. I lost my husband of nearly 44 years a little over three months ago, I feel so lost and alone and your videos are helping me immensely. Thank you so much! I appreciate it so much..

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching and sharing your support #widfam

[@susankeenan686]

I hope you don't mind but i thoroughly enjoyed your salty rant. I could totally relate. If only everyone knew how hard it is to be a widow.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Of course I don’t mind, I was more worried that people would be offended lol. But o had to share what was on my mind, and hope that others can relate, if you’ve had moments like that too! #widfam

[@jessicavaia2122]

Hi Leo love your videos. Omg I’m so glad you did this subject. I could not believe that I was going to be judged on certain things by my closest friend. She actually said to me 2 days after the first anniversary of my husbands death. She told me I was acting like the widow in black. I posted what I thought was lovely memorial in his memory well she went off on me telling me that I needed to stop posting anything on Facebook. I should take my husbands pictures off the wall then yelled at me saying marriage is till death do you part he’s gone you need to move on. I couldn’t believe it the one person I felt safe with lost it on me. I got real angry for awhile didn’t talk about husband it was like walking on eggshells. I realized she going through a lot she was depressed didn’t want to hear my stuff on top of her depression. I let it go and we don’t really talk a lot about my husband but you know what shocked me was today my husbands 12 year old niece made a comment about me posting on the year anniversary. A 12 year old can you believe that. I’m being judged by 12 year old because she doesn’t like Facebook I shouldn’t be doing that. I understand what your saying your going to judged on everything so now I don’t care. I’m going to live my life and your right they don’t have a clue what we’re going through. Thank you again because I actually feel normal after watching your videos.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and I can’t believe your friend and a CHILD feel they have the right to judge your grief. Wow. #widfam

[@barbmeyer1829]

Hope you have a great week!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks and same to you! -#widfam

[@kathrynleannazuck9305]

No judgment.🥺

[@kathrynleannazuck9305]

Thank you.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@marshamagic8551]

Your videos are right on!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! -#widfam

[@pj9547]

Leo you are amazing !. My name is Sherry and my husband passed away a little over two years ago , I was feeling sad today And I went on KZbin and I put in the search bar how to move on as a widow , and I came across your video and everything you said is exactly how I’ve been feeling ! Everybody wants to be a critic, sometimes I feel like I’m under a microscope at all times And the people that are judging you are not widows !!! They have no idea of the of pain that I feel the day my husband passed away was the day that half of me has also died with him… And part of me I will never get it back … And you are so right there’s no right way of grieving we are the ones that have to learn how to move on in this life and learn how live without our person anymore … it’s not easy Especially when people are judging you if you talk about your husband too much they complaint and say your reminiscing and Than tell you to move on and then when you move on or try to get dressed in a go places in laugh oh she forgot about her husband she Must’ve moved on .. So you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t … I am 52 years old I am considered a young widow I started dating this man that I knew for many years he was also my husband’s friend as well so you can imagine the judgment everybody has something to say about it… And I just am trying to be happy nobody gets it I will never forget my husband or my 30 years that I spent with him but that part of my heart will always belong to him…. But my heart still needs love I don’t wanna live alone for the rest of my life I want to have a partner again and it’s Scary to try to start over again… Put only thing is left to do is try and get the best life you can…. And when people try to judge me I tell them I didn’t Choose-to be a widow God made that choice for me…. So once again thank you for your videos it makes me feel a little bit better that I’m not alone in this and somebody understands may god bless you and your

[@OneHappyWidow]

Sherry, you are speaking the language of the Widows! There is absolutely nothing wrong with moving forward and wanting to find love, companionship, or whatever else you need. You are a person, and still alive! We deal with the guilt in our head enough, we don't need it from others. Best of luck in your new journey. Feel free to join our FB group at facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

[@alisonanthony1228]

It's been 6 years this month and today, for the first time, I've opened his wardrobes and cupboards and am clearing out his clothes and I've been listening to you while I sort out his stuff for the tip or the charity shop. I've been living in a shrine all this time - everything is exactly where Clive left it, down to his beer in the fridge and the magazines he was reading on the bedside table. I hit 60 this week and decided that now is the time to claim the whole of the house for myself rather than keep living on the edges of our home, too frightened to move anything. So thank you for this - I really, really needed to hear it today. You've turned tears into laughter because you're so right about everything.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and for sharing your story!

[@elaineotterman2815]

Leo, some people don't want to die in front of people. I have lots of stories of people leaving the room to go to the bathroom and the person dying. You never know how long it will take. We tried to be there for my mom . She hung in there until we all left her alone, then died. Men are stubborn to get them to go to the hospital. My husband died of blood clot. He got mad when I wanted to call the ambulance or take him myself. Until he passed out , I called and he died, I tried to given him CPR on the phone with 911. So hard to let go of the guilt. People need to remember not all Mother- in-laws are nice. I thought mine did. Man, was she nasty after my husband died, when she first saw me she said " I am going to be alright". Nothing about me or how sorry she was...... this is an excellent video. Thank you. You are doing great, you go girl!!!! Hugs and prayers 💕

[@OneHappyWidow]

Wow, sounds like we have the same Mother-in-law! Thanks for sharing #widfam

[@DontBeAlarmedItsJustMe]

I wished I would had found your channel when I was in my fresh grief. I appreciate you sharing. Ive watched numerous videos of yours and you talk about the good the bad and the ugly and awkward and I appreciate every bit of it.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your feedback, it helps!

[@emarshal1]

When everything was still fresh a few months ago I decided to write chapters of my story on Facebook to explain what I was going through to my friends as well as find a supportive network. One of these chapters was full of anger towards how I was being unfairly treated by the family, land lord, ex wife etc. I hadn't even fully explained the attrocities these people had committed against me, but I had so many reasons to be angry, aside from the standard stage in grieving. Some people told me that I needed to stop venting and implied that I was too angry, acting out of line in some sort.🙄 Of course they haven't loss someone so close. What people don't realize is that some days you'd rather be holding onto the anger than the sadness because atkeast you're motivated when you're angry. When you're drowning in the sadness you feel like you can't get anything done. Not only are you experiencing emotions you've never felt before, but then if you're unlucky like me, you are dealing with the ugly true colors some people show after death. We have every right to feel what we want, when we want, and express it how loudly we want.

[@OneHappyWidow]

That’s an interesting take on your emotions- and you are right, it is easier to get things done when you’re mad and looking to channel that anger through action, instead of being sad and wanting to hide from the world. Plus, focusing on the anger is a distraction from the grief. Being mistreated as a widow/er is more common than we realize. You would think people would cut you a little slack after suffering one of the greatest losses you can as a human- but surprisingly, we often become a target of everyone else grief, as if we are the ones who caused the loss for everyone else! It’s very unfair, and only complicates our own grief! #widfam

[@cindyblanchette7149]

God bless you. You did the right thing. Nobody has the right to judge you. People can be ignorant. I lost my husband in December 2023.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching and sharing your support #widfam

[@kirkmikayla]

I love all your videos! They have helped me soooo much! Thank you! ❤️

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! -#widfam

[@jmm9829]

Thank you so much for your honesty.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@didomilan1725]

My husband died unexpectedly on Christmas Eve, so that was the first thing (great conversation for others). My kids went back to school after their dad had died during Christmas break. Our house had been torn apart and we lived that way for a year after death. Very depressing for the three of us, but I have a very nice remodel now, and live in my home, and life insurance because my husband was smart. So can’t win there, can’t be too happy with it. Anyway, at the hospital, I told my kids that they were going to hear all kinds of dumb stuff and I was sorry, but it’s true. I just knew it was coming. Luckily I have a great friend that lost her husband at the same age and she helped me with everything. It has been 4 years, my kids are good. Honestly I’m a bit of a pariah, but I know who my people are. I found you today because I might go out with an acquaintance I saw at a mutual friend’s funeral :). I’m not sure about it. Thanks for being here. I’m sorry people have been unkind to you, especially your family. It’s not right.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and good luck on your meeting! #widfam

[@christinawilliams2207]

Good for you lady some people need to be put on their place.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@toniberryman7605]

I feel for you. My husband of 53 years was hospitalized 1 hour away. I would leave him every night not knowing if he would still be alive the next morning. I had a plan to get there if I needed too but, it would still take over an hour to get there. I praise the nurses at the big city hospital for keeping me informed and taking time to answer all questions I had. My adult sons couldn't watch him die, they had to leave. So far, I haven't heard any back talk but, it's only been 2 weeks. Thank you for your candor and love.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m sorry for your fresh grief. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us #widfam

[@livewithpurposen2n534]

I understand and I hope you are doing ok. It’s crazy that ppl act like this. My husband died 1yr and 4mon ago. Ppl judge me about how I’m dealing with my kids. I had our 3rd child 2 weeks after my husband funeral and I was just lost. You did what was best for your children. I did not let our 13 and 1 yr come to the hospital. I was 9 month pregnant and I sat by his bed day and night and then the last few days his mother would come during the day while I went home took shower and checked on the other 2 kids who were with my mom. I took care of the funeral myself. Ppl judge how you spend money if they or if you move. It’s so annoying.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Yes, it is terrible feeling like you are in the spotlight. And you being 9 months pregnant while in fresh grief was a double-whammy of grief/hormones/joy of new birth/sadness of him missing that…what a roller coaster of emotions for you. Praying for you today! 🙏

[@stscc2009]

I’m just starting this video and I had to comment. Yes! The judgement has been almost as bad as my husbands death.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Yes! -#widfam

[@phantomsharmony]

Thank you for your videos so very much. I’m caring for aging parents, one in a wheelchair, and I lost the love of my life in January. I feel so alone and, even though I know there’s nothing I could have done, feel so guilty for not being there. He had a lot of heath problems and was very well loved and our mutual friends keep reaching out, but I don’t want to see them because I know I’ll be judged and I don’t really want to have to relive the pain over and over and deal with their should haves on top of mine. I’ve been clinging to your videos to help me survive, and you have given me hope that I can be happy again. Shame on them for judging you when they don’t know you and weren’t there. I have nothing but love for you and wish I could give you a big hug and some chocolate. I’m happy to see it’s okay to be frustrated too. I’m so worried about his celebration of life, because people will have something to say about how I am or how I dressed or how I cried or didn’t etc. Just thank you for making these!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Hang in there and just take things one day at a time! Maybe they won’t act as you expect..let’s hope they behave. And I love hugs and chocolate, I’ll take both! Lol #widfam

[@naomiferreira8255]

I truly enjoyed this video.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@eve_evescollection]

Excellent topic and excellent guidance Leo! All your videos are wonderful and so helpful! Thank you!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@purpleviolet207]

Leo, I really enjoyed your video! Hope you had a very good time at the birthday party.🎊🎉🍕🎂🍰🍨🎁🎉🎊

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you! We froze our butts off as it was outdoors, but it was nice to get out and spend some time with friends! #widfam

[@purpleviolet207]

@@OneHappyWidow Glad you enjoyed yourselves!🙂

[@merrilspender]

I'm so glad I found your UTube. My husband of 38 years passed 3 months ago. I had to make the decision not to resuscitate, it nearly killed me, I felt like I murdered him. I'm not over that yet. I was judged terribly by a family member. I was shocked. My husband had Parkinsons Disease, complications set in. I was fortunate to be by his side as he passed. I feel for you on being judged. You made decisions based on what you had to face. No one has the right to judge you. I had to family critised the funeral. It's awful. ❤️

[@OneHappyWidow]

Everyone wants to give their opinions, but no one wants to walk in our shoes! #widfam

[@janahankins183]

Right, amen!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@susanenglish3875]

No judging from over here. Stand tall, girl! Mama - love your man and care for your babies. Check and check. You rock!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching

[@pamcornelius9122]

My beloved husband of 41 years died in August of 2022. Unfortunately the harshest judgement came from my grown daughter. We no longer speak. She has also turned my son against me. I’m really hating my new life.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m so sorry…I have found that kids (even the grown ones) can sure take their grief out on us…maybe one day they will come around. #widfam

[@wcgl5595]

Leo, I cannot believe first of all his mother did not call you. That was wrong period. I feel the medical staff should have called you; that is negligent on their part. I think the way you handled things were absolutely acceptable. If the kids didn’t want to stay at hospital then they should not. They did visit him. It didn’t need to be everyday for hours. That is exhausting for adults and it’s compounded for kids. People who are judging don’t know the dynamics of your family nor your marriage. I would bet Dewey was fine that his mother took him to the ER. YOU TWO decided to have 4 children together and that responsibility did not go away because Dewey was in the hospital. Plus you had to work. Several of your extended family members are shocking at the stupid inconsiderate things they did. For the love of Pete. You are 100% right. We are judged negatively by someone for most everything. That in itself is stressful let alone the things that really matter. I could say so much more but the widows already know what it is and they are who this utube is for. As long as what you are doing helps us, they can take their “expert” non asked for advice and…. I’ll be polite. You are helping many, including me. ♥️♥️♥️

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks so much for your support, and I do put my story out there to help Others feel that they are not alone. And that we are not perfect and don’t know how to grieve, so we do the best we can every day. As for the nursing staff, they did call Me as soon as they came in and realized he was gone. When he starting taking a turn, they told his mom to call me and she said she would. They had no idea she would ignore them…I don’t blame them, but his mom knew exactly what she was doing. When I got there, she even said to the nurse right in front of me “I was there when he came into this world, and I was there when he left this world”. She sure was, and I think she wanted that moment all to herself. When I finally did get there, she wouldn’t get off of his body or leave the room, I had to scream at her to get her out just so me and the kids could spend a moment with him alone- the nurses had to escort her out. There is so much to our story, this is just the tip of the iceberg! Even last week, she was trying to pull something about an old bank account and asking one of the kids to forge a signature and steal the SS cards out of my pocketbook without me knowing…not sure why, but she’s always up to some secret stuff to get something that isn’t supposed to be hers. She’s a piece of wok for sure!

[@Charalldredge]

Lost my husband of 25 years in January of this year. My in laws apparently feel more grief then me because “ he was our brother first” these are the actual words of some of his siblings. However for 25 years we were inseparable. We did everything together and with our kids. It’s hard to think that all these years in there eyes I am second hand to him. I know the truth so that is the only thing that gets me through.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Grief is not a competition, but others want to make it one. Watch my videos about that, and the one about secondary grief…the loss of our lifestyle when our husband dies uproots our daily lives so much more than a sibling does! Thanks for sharing your story #widfam

[@ninashelley5044]

A great lesson today. Your a great role model.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@tyrinalondon]

I know this is an old video, but it's one of the best I've listened to. I completely agree with your comment of "I did what I did with the information that I had at that time". I refuse to feel guilty for decisions I made. I had to make those decisions, no one else had that responsibility - My friends have been awesome and if they've made comments I haven't heard them. I only have to answer to my God. I have to live with myself. I have to live with my decisions and the consequences. Were they all the right decisions? I don't care at this point in time. I'm moving forward, but I'll always love and miss my husband.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you for this response! I appreciate your feedback #widfam

[@dorislacaze8475]

Good luck in the job search andGOD Bless

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you I’ll keep you posted! #widfam

[@pigletsbank437]

I am glad I had a a very loving and" successfully marriage" to use your words. Life afther that won't ever be the same and the judgement... They will find out one day. I see it as ignorince. But in the beginning it did shock me, I got used to it very quickly, sad to hear every widow or widower say exactly the same. It's almost insane, they should teach kids/ adults about this at school because sooner or later it will cross their ways

[@OneHappyWidow]

Wise words, friend!

[@roseanne1234]

Relate 💯% thank you for your honesty.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

[@richardbattles8858]

My wife passed 17 months ago at home, married 45 years, dated 2.5 years. Meet a woman at church 3 months later, she help me not be alone, we are still seeing each other. Several months passed, ladies of the church, pastor, etc felt that I did not grieve long enough. Got mad at her, and then me, and ask us leave for they could not stand it when they saw us.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m so sorry, and I can’t support a church doing this- even the Bible says you fulfilled your vows, so finding a new person to spend time with should not be an issue. My current husband faced the same, and it was mostly his fellow church members. Needless to say, we do not attend that church! Find one who accepts you as a couple and get a fresh start!

[@anaclarke697]

Absolutely, damned if you do, damned if you don't.. people should mind their business and worry about themselves.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Amen to that! #widfam

[@deborahkannewurf3829]

Thank you for sharing your story. It was similar to mine. I lost my husband two years ago to metastatic pancreatic cancer three months from being diagnosed. He was 68. Keep doing what you’re doing I know it’s helping me and a lot of others.Peace and love to you and your family ❤️❤️❤️

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

[@marilynsabatino2674]

thank you what you said in this video is so so true my husband will be gone a year one 12th August 2023 and I have had so much judgement from friends and Family it breaks my heart thank you you are amazing love from South Africa your videos have helped me God Bless you!!!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you for your feedback and kind words. Thanks for watching #widfam

[@jeannettecatchpaugh5500]

Lost my sweet husband of 62 years a week ago,I am so lost and sa.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m so sorry for your fresh grief! Feel free to join our FB group where you will find lots of support: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

[@lifeinmyemptynest]

My husband’s hospice nurse said he had 1 to 2 months, he passed the very next night. 😞 I’m very sorry that your husband’s mom did that to you. I understand why you protected your kids.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Wow, how could they get that so wrong? I guess you just never know. Thanks for watching and sharing your story with us.

[@lindseysummers5351]

Still new at being a widow. I went through being my wife's caregiver for 2 1/2 years. At the very end, when it was apparent that we were about to lose her, more than one person asked me, "Why didn't you take her to this other hospital for treatment?" Yeah, that bothered me. A LOT. All the battles she fought, I fought them with her. All the victories and setbacks were my victories and setbacks. For everything WE had done to fight this illness and try to make her life better, to hear anyone suggest we didn't do enough...just, wow. That hurt. I think the only reason I didn't say something is because I was hurting so much. And, yes, I dealt with the family drama about her final arrangements, especially because Julie never put anything in writing and gave it to me. Her family just assumed we would have her buried in a casket and refused to understand why I had a problem with that. And argued with me about it IN HER HOSPITAL ROOM as she lay clinging to life. And played that crap as we met with the funeral director. Her sister tried to tell me not to hold a wake because she personally didn't want to be part of that, and insisted we have a closed casket (though Julie was cremated, we rented their casket for her memorial). Thankfully, that crap died down and things are better. And let me tell you, I know truly understand how grief has no time limit. My aunt lost her husband, my uncle by marriage, 22 years ago. And she was the only daughter around when both my grandparents died (33 and 29 years ago, respectively). I tried to call her to get some wisdom about losing a spouse or a parent (Mom isn't doing the greatest), and she short circuited it. She still has trouble talking about losing them. Thankd again for doing these videos, helping us widows and widowers gain perspective. Keep 'em coming!!

[@OneHappyWidow]

These stories sound all too familiar, I’m so sorry you have dealt with that mess! Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

[@lauriebaker7608]

Thank you I'm a widow you just cheered me up I laughed andi smiled through this video ❤😊

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching- my real name is Laurie too!

[@yewyoshodi]

Sorry Leo to hear how you were treated by these insensitive people. Thankyou for being vulnerable and sharing from your experience. I have also experienced one or two of these items you listed. I believe it is a literal journey that a widowed person finds themselves on needing all the kind assistance along the way. In some situations it may be thoughtless judgemental people or unintentional comments from emotionally unintelligent people. I think it's best to distance yourself from unhelpful critical people while embracing the helpful and supportive ones we are blessed with. Hugs and blessings Leo. May God help us all. Amen.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Very wise advice, thanks for sharing! #widfam

[@sandratalbert4253]

Yep,that's where I was too. Thank you.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching

[@loriramminger222]

My husband was in Hospice also and I was not there when he passed. because we shared time with him with our kids adult kids and I was at my camper and I didn’t have good phone service. So I feel for you. I was there everyday from 8 till 12. He passed at 2:33pm

[@OneHappyWidow]

Perhaps he planned it this way...to spare you the pain of that memory. #widfam

[@delbertmullet5106]

It really doesn't matter what people think about our grief. But God is able to help us process our grief with his our comforting grace & peace!! Blessings! Anna Marie

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@evelynkaiser8175]

Thank you for sharing and good for you!! ❤👏

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@carolb3869]

I think you did the right thing!!!!!!! Bless you💙🙏

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@kattygonzalez6208]

Hi. Just found your video and I need to say thank you for this specific video about being judge. I been judge on so many things on your list. Lost my husband Aug 2022 and he was only 42 and I was 46.

[@OneHappyWidow]

It is sadly too common for us!

[@christinawilliams2207]

You should have no regrets. Don't worry about what people say ,l going through this judgement now.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I think we all do! #widfam

[@carolb3869]

This video has been so therapeutic- thank you for ‘letting it rip’ 👏

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your feedback! #widfam

[@hollichristensen6419]

Thank you. I lost my boyfriend May 24th. Today was one of those days I felt like I couldn't go on and not knowing what to do. Watching you talk helps me not feel so alone.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching. Join our FB group for more support: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

[@alexbautista449]

My wife died last week. Pancreatic cancer. I'm not sure if I'll make it. I'm broken. These videos seem to help.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Alex, feel free to watch the others, as they will help also. Praying for you to take one day at a time. It doesn’t seem like it will get better when we are in fresh grief, but it does.

[@lisalambrecht6676]

Everyone is different and handles grief the best you can. I functioned on auto pilot. Unless you’ve lost a life partner keep your options to yourself.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Amen! #widfam

[@glynnyschiavoni8896]

Leo, I can feel your pain and frustration. Again, I’m sorry sorry that people are so thoughtless and unkind. When I talk to my widowed friends, I try to ask, how are you feeling today, and then just listen. I understand that everyone grieves in their own way and time. I do have a question though, about Christmas. My ver good friend’s daughter died on Christmas evening a couple years ago. She had brain cancer. When the first Christmas after the death came around and I was writing Christmas cards, I didn’t know if I should send her a card or not. I kept thinking about it so asked my friend. She said, yeah, go ahead and send it. Do you have any opinion to share? I wanted her to know that I love her, but didn’t want to be insensitive to her pain. My other friend’s daughter died at 29 from breast cancer. Every year on May 3, the day her daughter died, I send her a note reminding her that I’m thinking about her as she thinks about her dear daughter. She always calls me because she’s glad that someone remembers. Have a good rest of the day, dear Leo. Glynny from upstate NY.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Wow, your friends are lucky to have you! While everyone is different, maybe on Christmas, don’t send a “Christmas” card to your friend, but instead send a regular card and put a similar sentiment that you do to your other friend, just say you are thinking of her during this difficult time of year. Somehow, wishing her a Merry Christmas seems a little insensitive, like wishing your late spouse a “Happy” birthday after they died. I hope that helps! #widfam

[@glynnyschiavoni8896]

@@OneHappyWidow thank you, Leo. I knew a Christmas card didn’t seem right, but didn’t know what the right thing was to do. Glynny