Parasitic Narcissists HIJACK Codependents' Emotional Umbilical Cords

[@irinamladenoska7539]

I love this. I am recovered codependent. I had the fight of my life. I went no contact with mother and grey rock, coparenting with the ex narc. I am free like a bird. And I love my self. Freely, unconditiinaly. At last. I am 53.

[@matilda4406]

Wow! We are never alone! Vi ste u Srbiji?

[@irinamladenoska7539]

@@matilda4406 North Macedonia

[@matilda4406]

@@irinamladenoska7539 e pa lepo! Tesko je kad je majka narc. Svaka cast sto si mogla da se odlepis. Power to you.

[@irinamladenoska7539]

@@matilda4406 ❤❤❤🙏

[@starlingswallow]

Yay!!! I'm so glad you got out and are healing!! I'm out 4 years and the healing is hard but so worth it!

[@SKC1962]

Well said!!! Married 40 years in July. From day one something was off. His grandfather was a narcissistic angry alcoholic who beat his grandmother. His mom was as a narcissist. I searched all over the internet for decades trying to figure out what I was dealing with. Didn’t discover fully until several years ago. We’ve lived as roommates the last three years because I separated myself from him. I worked mostly part time raising our three children so I don’t have a career to fall back on to support myself. I find peace in my relationship with God. God bless everyone that’s lived through this or currently living with these parasites.

[@realliving7340]

God bless you. May your life have joy and peace ♥️

[@irinamladenoska7539]

I am sebding you love and light.

[@cmbhalupowski]

I just want to tell you it’s not to late to live your life again. Your children are going to get old enough to process what is happening. Figure out what you like? Hobbies. You don’t have to go to college to get a good paying job. There are certifications on a lot of fields now. Ask God to show you your path. God bless.

[@noodlesm8282]

As a sober recovering SLD - this video is outstanding. Ross’s advice 🏅

[@euaalanaoliveira]

What it means? I am brazilian...

[@Garden366]

Oh my. Now I know why I went off on my narcissistic sister and cut her off. I always was worried that I was the narcissist because I was so brutal in my attack against her, but I see through your video that I was reacting to the garbage fed to me by my narcissistic, BPD mother and now this psychopathic narcissistic sister. I apologized to this “sister” but of course, she NEVER apologized for anything she ever did to me or anyone in the family. She rages “in secret” at family members until their eyes bleed. I kicked her out of my life after I excoriated her and will never allow her to return. There was never any love or respect in our relationship. I see that I was right to leave and even though I know I should never had said the things I did, I now understand why I did this. (I recounted the horrible, evil things she did throughout her life. In technicolor.) I was OVER the crap and I had had enough- this I knew. I pulled off her leash from off my neck and I’ll never look back. God help me to never react so abusively again, but she deserved everything I said. Now, another puzzle piece has been fit into the healing jigsaw of my past toxic family life.

[@Caparason824]

Well done!

[@cloudwalker8266]

I was married to this and barely made it out with my life. Thank you for bringing up this topic, Ross.

[@AdamNPDSurvivor]

This video is brilliant. How the co-dependent ends up (sucked dry) is exactly what happened to me. I spent 22 years with a blood sucking covert narcissist to the point I had nothing left. I am 2.5yrs into recovery. It is hindsight now but the ex-wife did absolutely NOTHING to help me with our 3 kids or life in general. There were days where I was chronically stressed out and couldn't cope but she never offered to share the burden or lighten the load. I was so wrapped up in the dysfunction that I was unable to take a step back and assess the situation as being very messed up. Becoming consciously aware of what you are involved with is massive. I became aware after I was discarded and turned to Google.

[@mariesprowl2348]

Good for you stay strong 💪

[@ninath13]

Same here you actually have to look up what is going on with these Devils

[@CanadianMathMagician]

Thank you Ross Rosenberg for several years of your dedication on the NPD subject matter. I cut the umbilical cord three years ago. The tap was running full blast and then I turned off the spigot instantaneously while using the worst case scenario approach. I was ready for war because I was well armed with the knowledge necessary to protect myself and buffed myself with multiple layers of armour. My support system was well fortified upon my immediate exit. To this day, I'm ready for the fight of my life should the narcissist decide to return and continue their stalking behaviour. They were in sheer disbelief upon my unexpected exit. They now fear being exposed and understand that I'm now the galvanized version of myself. I wish you continued success in your studies on NPD.

[@SteelyBlue2013]

Parasite, is the perfect word. Yes, Thank you Ross Rosenberg. 😊👏👏🎉🎈

[@summerhill93]

Indeed it is!!

[@veebliss1266]

That title is spot on 🎯

[@munchey99508]

Absolutely! He called me selfish, entitled and accused me of being a gold digger. He jumps from job to job, he’s had this last one for just over 2 years. Ive worked for the same company for 20 years this coming July. I had good credit. I helped him buy his truck because his credit was crap. He moved into my home that is paid off. When he lost his job (his company, his income ) because of a DUI, which I incidentally was the one who called the police and he was arrested in my driveway. All I wanted was a happy, loving marriage. We’ve been separated for over year. I have divorce papers and I have zero interest at this point in dating anyone. I need to heal myself first and that’s what I’m working on. Thank you Ross! 😊

[@aureliafox2924]

Right at about four minutes in you start describing the exact experience I have had since moving in to help take care of my parents! It’s been about eight months and I have learned so much about myself, my childhood, and our family dynamics!! It’s been an unbelievable ride and I am thankful for your videos which have really helped to shed light on the reality of the situation! 🙏✝️ 💪💓🪽

[@aureliafox2924]

Now I need to find more information on how to navigate the reality of the situation lol it’s one thing to recognize SLDD in myself and see that my parents have a classic narcissistic/codependent relationship… yet the boots-on-the-ground daily warfare will most likely continue until they are gone. I’ve been doing my best to emotionally disengage from their dynamic and I definitely have moments of success in that regard… but it’s still our by hour and day by day just trying to get through it. I need resources lol

[@bpassion4fashion581]

I lived with a SOCIOPATH for 18 years. For the last 10 years he squatter in my living room and refuse to leave. The law in New York gives rights to anyone living in your apartment for more than 30 days - He prayed on my fear of authority and the legal system. I am glad you are talking about these type of Narcissist bc many people don’t know there is a difference! Mine was the worst parasite ever bc he was equally intelligent. Pretended to run a restaurant when I met him , while I was the one with a job, savings, new car and stability. He sucked me dry ! Financially. Emotionally. Psychologically. Spiritual. Think of a predator that grabbed you by the neck and won’t let go until there is nothing left of you. I got him out of my home but I have been in a state of frozen since 2020. May God help me and help anyone else in this situation.

[@wendydaniel1110]

Thank goodness I am very comfortable being on my own and choosing to walk my spiritual path . I don't miss relationships, especially if it comes to take from my place of Peace and happiness. Been there too many times starting from having a bad relationship with a narc mother , sisters, and ex romantic partners. Love myself, my cat and a few close friends. Feeling relieved since releasing all these dysfunctional people from my life.

[@SoulSeeker2025]

❤❤❤I'm amazed!!!

[@akai.christo]

Thank you Ross♥️🙏🔥wish you and all here a beautiful weekend✌️

[@mariesprowl2348]

Fabulous video Ross. I believe these types form energy cords to our energetic wounds from previous trauma. That would also explain intense sexual magnesium since the sexual chakra is also the seat of life force sexual energy but also shame, blame , emotions and past trauma. ❤

[@Pecan215]

I do agree with this although I could never figure that one out until today, Marie.

[@mariesprowl2348]

@@Pecan215 Thanks for your reply, I actually needed to read my own comment again today . Predator types are good at sensing weakness in their prey,, it’s makes their job easier.

[@judylee1860]

Allowing being made a fool isn’t self love, no matter who it is doing it. I just took a (probably permanent) break from my PTSD therapy team for making me out a fool. They have brought me a long way but allowing my therapist to gaslight me does not serve me very well. I was actually surprised the therapist did that. I don’t know why she did it but it put her on the other side of the fence as dishonest, not forthright and is no longer trustworthy. I don’t care why she did it, all the way around it was wrong. The umbilical chord is a good analogy to describe the anti social narcissist and the co-dependent. I was personally attacked, slandered and defamed by two couples like that to cover up their own bad behavior that should have landed them in prison and would be if not for their higher positions in life and better connections. What they have done they did for 18 years, ruining me. That is why I’ve been in trauma therapy. What my therapist did last week certainly hasn’t given me closure when it appears she practices in alignment with the predators. I know my situation is not the norm. Or maybe it is? It just so happens I have survived when many others don’t. Sorry to blow up the comment thread. It’s just when I heard the dynamics and commonalities of those couples I’ve had to say something. Because when they have power and sadism in their fabric (or umbilical cord) they can be killers.

[@matilda4406]

"that's your lot in life" was the motto of many of our forebears, whether accepted or forced to accept

[@briand3420]

Thank you! Please keep posting. This is needed. I’m going to get therapy soon.

[@briand3420]

I plan on downloading all the books you recommended. Going no contact has freed me in so many ways. Especially financially. Now I can really work on me.

[@susanneosborne7861]

I've watched a thousand videos on narcissistic relationships and this one is the holy grail of describing the dynamic of my relationship of 9 years that is ending. I only recently labeled him as a parasite and I stumbled on this video when I searched for my boyfriend is a parasite. I feel nauseated. Certainly gives me more strength to stay the course of moving on. I'm exhausted.

[@tiatorus]

You are hands down THE BEST psychotherapist in this specific topic. I haven’t seen better

[@SupremeAtheist]

To me it’s hard to even try another relationship, the red flags pops up more than ever when you learn what narcissistic abuse is. Especially if you’re a gay man, finding a match is like unlikely. I don’t feel physically or emotionally attracted to women. My mom is a narcissist herself, I can’t change that.

[@SupremeAtheist]

@@matilda4406 I’m sorry but I do mean when I say I don’t feel attracted even for friends, I had some “friends “ enabling her, female friends. I’m really completely 100% gay.

[@starlingswallow]

I hope and pray you find someone who sees you, accepts you and loves you the way you deserve to be loved ❤ I'm so sorry that they are everywhere....the toxic people 😢

[@TwoGendersOnly]

What I don't understand is why it's hard to move on from this past relationship. I've been alone but not lonely. I always had friends loving parents etc. I've had relationships come and go and felt hurt but this withdrawal is brutal. It has been a month and the past two days have been exceptionally bad. I went no contact once before and around the month mark was the same thing and I gave in and contacted her. This time I am staying vigilant despite feeling anxious sick depressed sad and getting migraines from tension and stress. Maybe this time is hard because there's some guilt involved. It's always easier to move on when it's clear who's at fault I suppose. It's not just that I miss her and the good times, I also wish I could fix things. But the logic side of me knows that it's toxic and it was detrimental to my health. Both of ours actually. Being pulled in both directions is so awful.

[@CybertronGangsta]

Dr Ross, you are a bloody legend.

[@thinker646]

Yes! Bob hamp of Think differently academy, describes the abuse dynamic as one has plusses and the abuser has minuses. No amount of giving of plusses reduces the minuses of the abuser. Same as what you are describing

[@katthompson3852]

There is nothing more important than looking after yourself... and it is not selfish. Hard to break that conditioning. That goes a long long loooong way back. It is NOT selfish.... repeat... repeat... decondition.... Thanks Dr R 💟 (When is the 3rd edition due?)

[@brianmccranor3879]

Excellent analysis using the umbilical cord, resulting in the victim being drained over time in the same way the mother does over the period of her pregnancy...Great presentation 👏🙏👏

[@realliving7340]

Outstanding video!!!

[@ShippyPap]

I strongly suggest performing a cord cutting spell to assist with this issue. There are a lot of videos here on KZbin to assist with understanding that personal ceremony. Ross, another way to explain this is that both parties are addicted to one another. One is a parasite, using and abusing energy, and the other is stuck in Stockholm Syndrome mind, addicted to the abuse. Annie Lennox sang about this while in the Eurythmics… “Sweet Dreams are Made of This.” “Some of them want to use you; some of them want to get used by you; some of them want to abuse you; some of them want to be abused.” ALSO! Narcissists are “invisible substance” abusers, first and foremost. They are extreme addicts in this respect. This, of course, is aside from any other addiction to visible physical substances they may have. Thanks and have a great day!

[@tanyakashyap6944]

Thank you Ross for this superlative Information ❤️❤️

[@Aurora-Rose01]

Thank you, I love your videos!

[@WeR1bodyNChrist]

I can’t wait to see your video on this subject matter. 😊

[@altaidama]

Thank you ❤

[@alimrashid9765]

Well said sir 👏

[@kellyleighread807]

My favorite chapter was the best woman I never knew.

[@maustin950]

Thank you

[@caleuxx9108]

Great content. From my experience, I dont think that they think they are taking advantage of someone to take advantage of someone. To me it seems like they truely believe that they are entitled to recieving the extreme care and huge amounts of time from other people. It insults them not to get that. Boundries affend them.

[@warewolf4760]

Hey Doc, I'm a huge fan of your work, thank you. I have a question if possible. Can the narc family dynamic prevent their kids from settling or finding a suitable partner/relationship?

[@warewolf4760]

I'm dealing with such a severe case of narcissism, the person has severe traits of a malignant, covert narc. The family dynamic projection is one of a prisoner rather than family in a home.

[@Selfunraveled]

I feel like most people would be considered narcissists and codependent. The only ones that are neither are those that derive their energy from within- basically both narcissists and Co-dependents feel that they need one another to have power. One thinks they must give everything and the other thinks they must take everything

[@starlingswallow]

As a Believer, I always thought self care and self love was negative and selfish. It says "Love your neighbor AS yourself"! God wants us to love who we are, in a healthy way, and the "church" teaches that this is wrong. I completely disagree. I spent 39 years of my life people pleasing everyone, saying "yes" to everything. I was almost completely erased due to this codependency. I felt o was always a bother, that others emotions and issues were MY responsibility to fix, I apologized allllll the time, thinking anything that went wrong was my fault! (Thanks Dad & Mom:) I was programmed by church and parents/family to marry an abuser. 14 years of my life gone, but boy oh boy have I learned a LOT!! Thank you God!! I am me, I love who God has created me to be, I love others- sometimes from afar because I don't want to deal with the dysfunction. Loving yourself isn't wrong, and for me the Holy Spirit helps me keep a healthy balance. ❤

[@heidireyes1909]

Wow I relate

[@vanessabetanzos3618]

My mom Is like This she is very ill and manipulites me with. This what should i do

[@jamesbyrne9312]

My friend is an emotional parasite. All their negativity is transfered onto me. Especially when competing at sport

[@YahshuaLovesMe]

geeze so grim.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Disgusting!!!!! Grosss i had to detox completely

[@n0426]

Are their other types that narcissists might deal with than codependents? I do love myself and they hate me because i spot them from miles and they never stay in my radar for too long. Is it because i am female and most narcs are males so the expect the codependent type of relationship with me?

[@CosmicGuiltTrip]

I don't have a solid sense of self, making self love and care next to impossible.

[@captainrankin6865]

... you can build it, small steps ... good vibes to you 👍

[@lulumoon6942]

But you now know it, that's HUGE! Keep your eye on the good, what makes you happy, and build from there. It's easy to at and focus on the painful things but it's not that moves us fastest! God bless you. ❤️🙏💞

[@neondiosa2]

I have been accused by my narcissistic ex that I am a parasite and that I am looking for him to be my mommy. We never lived together and him being a narcissist I never really got many benefits that someone might in a healthy relationship. I keep asking myself if maybe I am the narcissist. Watching this video and taking into account my exs accusations, I am now wondering even more. Is it possible he was projecting? I spent all my free time at his house cooking and cleaning etc ... I am SO confused :(

[@ninath13]

Projectionist

[@andycodling2512]

It was full of promises but no where near perfect at the beginning middle or end😔

[@Isa-sf7jx]

❤

[@Whoifanyone]

I need therapy so bad

[@elbareyes2838]

❤😉

[@Whoifanyone]

What about when your mother is the narcissist and she never encourages you to be your own person

[@Whoifanyone]

In fact, she never encouraged you to do anything , kind of just brushed you off your whole life

[@kellyleighread807]

Not the whole thing.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Untill its NOT flawless 😂

[@kat-75]

Interesting way to express such a stupid style of relations.

[@solarionispirit2117]

Terrible metaphore

[@hnitti7589]

Thank you 🙏