Pete Holmes - What You Know About Green Eggs And Ham?!

#PeteHolmes on how even scary people sleep and the TSA agent that gave him a lifetime of joy.
#PeteHolmesStandUp from the Just For Laughs Festival in 2015.
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[@audioa41]

“That sounds boring...” “No no, my brain plays movies that I’m in.” Lol

[@ultraman_99]

People with insomnia disliked this

[@clark987878]

I laughed hard at that

[@spirosmousouris3908]

I love this dude's energy. He is amazing.

[@gunfuego]

you should check out his work with College Humor, The Batman sketches are hilarious 😉👍

[@knotshure8806]

ExMen Pete Holmes. Look it up

[@knotshure8806]

@@gunfuego yes !!!

[@samfilmkid]

He’s like a Yoga instructor who clearly does not do yoga himself.

[@madwilliamflint]

The monologues from his show are just great.

[@myles7061]

"That's right, *through her.* "

[@mst3k54]

Don’t math-check my joke

[@mathjoker]

I love Pete Holmes for his relentless positivity.

[@SS3Jake.]

He should name his next special Relentless Positivity 🤣

[@nebulousisgod]

I swear he comes up with his jokes whilst baked to the beans. Also I love his total confidence in all his jokes, even the bad ones.

[@romeoromero9612]

Thats probably a true observation but i find the use of the terms 'whilst' and 'baked to the beans' hilarious and i will have to try and incorporate them in my day to day

[@RegstarRogstar]

Watch his segment "wash my damn towel" on his old show, i watch it with full understanding that the jokes get tired after awhile but him cracking up himself realizing how dumb it is makes me really happy

[@iwatchyoutube6539]

He definitely doesn't smoke hes like mormon

[@STSGuitar16]

Wait, Pete tells bad jokes??

[@BigZencreates]

Dude there's no high person with this much energy. He doesn't do drugs actually

[@Midnight-Starfish]

I would love it if ol' Petey got his own Netflix special.

[@mediaholic07]

Have I got exciting news for you

[@slayerd357]

Pete has so much fun doing his routines. That makes his act even more enjoyable.

[@Go_EZ-ier_On_Us_And_Enjoy]

What you know about Pete Holmes' Routiiiiiiine?!!?? 😆

[@mimineko1019]

... Everybody sleeps made me think that everyone's vulnerable at some point 😅😅😅

[@jmcd21182]

I'm think that's what he meant

[@Elbarto150]

This guy is quickly becoming one of my favorites

[@ivobo6227]

I remembered hearing this story on the Pete Holmes show a few years ago. Out of nowhere this gets in my head 2 days ago and I cannot and cannot remember from where it was. Today KZbin recommended me this video. Life is good.

[@MattBanwart]

"aaaaand we're back", what a great way to get out of a riff!

[@happybirthday146]

You don't have to believe me at all, but I'm absolutely as psyched as Pete regarding the phrase "Whachoo know 'bout green eggs and haaam!"

[@CalvinHikes]

For sure. I wrote it down in my list of important things to remember.

[@foxhazhax4845]

as a recovered methamphetamine addict I can attest that not sleeping for a few days literally makes you insane. You see and hear things that aren't real, your temper gets exponentially shorter and after a while your brain starts taking micronaps; you'll be in the middle of a thought or sentence and just blank out, still sitting/ standin, eyes still open, you regain awareness a few seconds later feeling somewhat lost and confused, unsure of how long you zonked out for. Reality subtly and gradually loses its context; people, places and things slowly become abstract and unfamiliar, time and space seem to expand, contract and otherwise deform at random. It gets difficult to maintain a train of thought, your mind incessantly intruded upon by every little sound and movement, the world gets loud and chatic around you while you basically sit around going mad. Keep up on your rest, even if it means occasionally blowing off seemingly important plans or events , make sure you get

[@HotelBedSheets]

That 360° joke killed me! 😅😅

[@vigneshas7426]

Reinaldo Torres because he went through you

[@Dani_London]

don't math check my jokes, don't math check my jokes

[@mrjozo-pr6ih]

I didn`t get it, thx

[@Mushroom321-]

@@Dani_London 😂

[@00chimininja80]

“It’s land-o-lakes down there. I can’t believe it’s not an erection.”😂😂😂

[@oscarsalazar5876]

That one was honestly funnier than his actual act. I miss his show.

[@bills755]

He didn't answer the important question, though. What does he know about Green Eggs and Ham?

[@DHodges187]

Bill S you can eat em with a fox.

[@Nonenunnen]

Listen to his podcast. He does.

[@Elbarto150]

It all

[@tzeege]

The important question is: Where are the other drugs going?

[@calviincalifornia4048]

harvey dent, can we trust him? @@tzeege

[@5001Fergies]

the way this man commands a crowd is impressive to say the least. absolute pro at performing

[@danielluna7648]

He looks like the love child of Zach Braff and John Ritter.

[@pennymcgirr7651]

I was thinking John Ritter and Richard Thomas (John Boy Walton) 🤣🤣🤣

[@levi1929]

Naw,, you’re close, but he’s the love child of John Ritter and extra buttery cookie dough

[@umbilicalcreature1529]

Sounds like it too

[@marqueematthews4949]

Sounds Like John Ritter!!

[@emdawg4285]

I was just thinking that. Omg

[@FirstnameLastname-jz1ux]

Pete Holmes: Come for the laughs, stay for the Joy Hacks.

[@808Goose]

Pete Holmes is still my favorite guest to appear on “Hot Ones”.. and that’s tough to say given how many ppl are truly incredible on that show; but Pete has a way of making a humble remark humbling to hear.. idk if that makes any sense to anyone but he’s just comes off as such a wholesome human.

[@djublonskopf]

Unless you’re in the X-Men, then he’s just mean…

[@808Goose]

@@djublonskopf or the justice league 😉😅

[@Lord_Pistachio_Nut]

"My brain plays movies that I'm in" This man is a genius

[@jaryttjt]

Mans doing donuts in a Walmart parking lot screaming "would you could not on a boat" for 45 mins straight

[@HnTr_VDH]

Btw, people, this is from 2015 in case it wasn’t obvious that Just for Laughs reuploads old sets

[@kayleeo7330]

Oh, thanks!

[@popcornisfromcorn]

+

[@andytrahan1400]

It DOES say that in the description

[@dkgiann87]

I used to hate it when comedians repeat jokes, but this man’s TV show, crashing, really actually made me start appreciating it from an effort perspective.

[@scottthegreat9393]

“ Harvey Dent, can we trust him?”

[@N0B0DYC4RE]

He's just sleeping

[@Vohlfied]

We're way past that.

[@dieselbreakfast]

Pete Holmes is my Ram Dass

[@Tiyath]

I had no idea what I was getting into watching this video. I didn't even read the title. I just thought I'd give Pete Holmes' stand up a try. This changed my life xD xD Man, not all heroes wear capes, some wear TSA badges, mothafuckaaa :D

[@fishsticks8155]

His sketch comedy is unmatched thanks to his weird comedy style. Love it

[@Dr.MikeGranato]

He’s just genuinely fun and funny

[@MrMrdraken]

Just discovered 10 min ago. Amazingly talented and creative with a different approach. I hope I'm not the only one picking up on all those references!

[@Teiber-made]

Samesies!

[@Vohlfied]

Harvey Dent. Can we trust him?

[@josiemcmillan5012]

I think it was, “WOULD YOU, COULD YOU ON A BOAT?” that really got me

[@karlycrooks2209]

2:53 I literally died 🤣

[@joerohle5082]

my mans out here shaped like a bowling pin

[@Tiyath]

Internet, I call upon thee! Make "buttercock" a thing!

[@ssc172]

Done, I submitted it to the Urban Dictionary.

[@murphragous]

This routine is so McDonald's.... I'm lovin it!

[@Qui-Dad-Jinn]

murphragous One of my favorite quotes. I use it constantly.

[@anthonyschroeder3611]

“Would you could you on a boat!!! Would you could you on a goat!!!!”

[@brandonesquerra4992]

This made my day I’ve heard his green eggs and ham joke before but still this made my day

[@Dudeldani]

wait what? this is not pete holmes. pete holmes doesnt swear like a sailor. hes a good christian boy

[@frostpat3759]

is that a haiku?

[@Dudeldani]

Frost Pat hahahahahaha! You made my day. It's close. All I had to leave out was the "wait what?" Had to look up the details of a haiku though :)

[@adamzez]

I thought he was a youth pastor

[@calviincalifornia4048]

i was surprised to learn about his drug addiction and alcohol addiction. his character on crashing was nothing like that.

[@cleverusername9369]

@@adamzez so does he haha

[@HeidiSvenson]

This was PERFECTION.

[@ilovemybuddythunder]

we must protect Pete Holmes at all costs!

[@TomRiddleMeThisSpock]

Pete's voice brings me peace

[@DavetheTurnip]

Pete is so wonderful. One of my favourite stand ups these days :D

[@jeffreysanders9186]

I can only pray to God that one day, I'll see Pete Holmes in an airport.

[@princessaur]

The way he says "do you understand?" after his jokes gets me every time.

[@jaceylynmanning8633]

I'm just imagining him turning in a complete circle in front of me and just starts walking into me

[@denischen7541]

Pete out of hibernation

[@NARKISDUDE]

lol with that belly? don't you mean right before hibernation?

[@AAMarc]

cuz hes a big fucking teddy bear

[@justfetus]

this is from 2015

[@BattleAxeRX]

He's one of my favorite comics starting now. That set was Mac Donalds

[@cellagp321]

I love pete! Funny and original content...great comedic timing😆

[@harshaakashsantra2819]

If you see this comment Mr. Holmes- Good to have you back!! Expecting new videos from you soon ..

[@Jack-zz7bc]

Can we all agree that it should be “I can’t believe it’s not boner?”

[@christinadrescher3163]

No. It was his joke.

[@justindarcy5672]

I'm a fan of the podcast. First time I seen him do standup. He's deep on the podcast. He kills on stage though!

[@somedudenamedcaleb]

i haven't laughed that hard in months

[@fat.E]

Dude has really good Kylo Ren impression that he isn't aware of yet. I wanna see the prof. X series with star wars characters

[@Drugtestcups]

I love you, Pete Holmes. You are a national treasure.

[@xuyahfish]

I bet he's received tons of that Dr. Seuss shirt now

[@JJWildMusic]

He came to Canadia & Made It Weird.

[@MJISA5]

Comedian Jedidiah James - thank you for calling it Canadia! It’s what I have always called it and people look at me like I belong in a nuthouse, which I probably do but that’s besides the point.

[@10000subswithnovideos.]

Canadia 4 lyfe.

[@Wyattap125]

Hey! Hey. Hey... Pete you're a delight. Loved your late night, loving this stand up snippet. Keep doing you, 'cause I would bet real people money I'm not the only one who enjoys you.

[@clearvoyant924]

It’s like Landa Lakes down there. Died, saw the video again, died again.

[@peterspellman2746]

Love this guy

[@AmiraLala99]

His awkward humor made me cry laugh omg

[@tpmgx6]

A masterpiece. Thank you

[@johnralph3704]

Got to see him at the Laugh Factory several years ago. Always funny.

[@myhounddog]

Fab and my new favourite 😁. Love his original material 🤩

[@parke4112]

I love reading these coments and realizing we all just love Pete

[@lilitulee]

Missed you Pete, so glad to see recent videos

[@iggysixx]

"Everybody sleeps" also works as a threat. ('You might be tough, but there are times you're not vigilant.. Every. Single. day. Sleep tight.')

[@acracehorse22]

This guy has a trickle of John Ritter, and I love it: but this makes me miss “Three’s Company”* and that reminds me of my age? Which makes me feel so cripplingly depressed. Goddamnit.

[@Mushroom321-]

agreed!!

[@maryrosekent8223]

acracehorse Being reminded of your age is a good thing! It means you’re still alive.

[@lawman6063]

Don’t math check my jokes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@macungieman100]

Pete is off the charts different ❤

[@cloud9lifee]

It's shut down time 😂 shiiiit I love sleep.

[@ryukaganzeroful]

me too i do it every day. shit is bomb

[@Emel451]

Show me a 9 is wild😂

[@peppypp]

Brilliant. This is like something of a Mozart of comedy.

[@xw7239]

I gained a new understanding of him after reading his book.

[@kokocipher685]

lov'n this guy

[@aidanknoll1019]

It's hard for me to watch other Pete Holmes comedy with this being my introduction to him.

[@eclipsewrecker]

Not sure when he wrote this, but………I remember an 8 year old back in 2000 who said that in tears (“everybody sleeps”) to his 3 older brothers (11, 12, 14) after he felt like they bullied him…I had to enlighten them on what he meant….he meant that they will be more vulnerable than him soon enough. Scary sheet

[@Bongwater33]

You seem like a totally Green Eggs and Ham kind of guy to me, Pete!

[@jedipat204]

I like this guy, natural entertainer ✌️

[@PodcastDeclassified]

He's like the worst, but also he's kind of ok. I bet mom'll love him.

[@maryrosekent8223]

Trap Profiles Watch his “I Dropped a Dog” clip...even if you don’t like it, your mom definitely will!

[@mcflywalker83]

Pete Holmes in on fire

[@talynn9008]

Pete Holmes is my childhood best friends face on my grandpas body.

[@siddharthkrishnan3317]

This man is a saint God Bless 🤣🤣🤣

[@OscarVoigt]

People do love the way she says “ham” HaMmmmmmmm

[@Dani_London]

Incredible! Laughed throughout the whole thing

[@cher236]

That's hilarious! Everybody sleeps! I say that all the time to my husband 😜🤣😂 I always tell him I don't have to touch you to mess you up! I know where you eat! I know where you sleep!! 🤣😂

[@mousepolice55]

His voice reminds me of John Ritter. It sounds so familiar though this is the first I've ever seen this guy.

[@MPHswayze]

He looks like he's wearing a bad "spare tire" fat suit for an episode in a 90s sitcom

[@douglashunt5546]

Lmfao don't math check my jokes 🤣🤣🤣

[@MCSWAG]

yo, I'm pretty sure he used a jedi mind trick right at the end that was insane wft

[@mattasticmattattack8546]

My brain plays movies im in lol

[@utubit22]

I'm Badman

[@gunfuego]

Commissioner Gordon: Yes, you're Batman... **shakes head**

[@StaticTeaz]

Well, Simon Conway Morris has me thinking aliens might not be all that different. They probably sleep, too.

[@GundamGokuTV]

This dude started on CollegeHumor can y'all believe that?

[@richarddweckcomedy]

GundamGoku well actually he started at open mics in Chicago with John Mulaney, Hannibal Buress ,Jared logan who all hit it big like him

[@iridxnt]

i would die for this soft, silly man

[@dragoncyclopstv4167]

Wow I wonder what it would be like if he had a show.

[@bubzilla6137]

I probably shouldn't be eating while watching this guy anymore. I thought he was done with green eggs and ham and had moved on to the stolen parking spot joke. So when that punchline hit, I had a mouth full of food, and now I have to a mess to clean up. Oops! Lol! 😂🤣

[@Kainthemain]

He needs to do more batman sketches

[@samsonhendrixiii3933]

Always return with Positivity, you add negativity to negativity you just get the same a-holes wasting Good people’s air and energy. My Facts. ♥️🖤💚

[@MsAdventure531]

“I gave you that Goof-Goof face, now wear the uniform!” -God

[@JerKur18]

This guy is adorable 😄