Pick up on "avoidant speak"

#avoidantattachment
#theheartbreaksurgeon
#breakupadvice
Ready for an appointment?
www.codyweldon.com

[@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life]

These are fair assessments. Your point where actions match the words seem to be opposite in my situation. My DA would overly talk about his fears of commitment due to expectations of having to show up in certain ways. However, he shows up more than most men I've dated. He was also the one in the end to ask me for a commitment after stressing the label thing. I'm a healing FA and he was right to have fears because I used to expect a lot from others and had a sharper tongue. Once I healed all that, he showed up amazingly.

[@Kinteresting]

‘A sharper tongue’ 😂 Lol I love this. How generous to us 🫣🥰 And same re my DA. He shows up more deeply and immensely than most men I have known. I do have to keep my tongue in check. Not as difficult once healing but, yes

[@Fresh_Baked_Bread_Is_Life]

@@Kinteresting I learned that just because I'm dating someone doesn't give me the right to give an attitude. I don't do that with other people so why would I think it's okay with him? A lot of people miss the boat on this and think that the avoidant should "man up" and "take it like an adult". When I hear that I cringe not only because it's so unhealthy, but also because it shows how unwilling others are to do any healing and take accountability for themselves. Glad to hear a nice DA story. I get attacked in a lot of threads when I dare say kind things about a DA. Lol 😆

[@sherinakapany]

Where was this video 8 years ago lol but thanks so much anyways. It’s amazing content

[@taylorbee4010]

If I become avoidant I’m gonna actually avoid people. I’m ND and have trauma. I have every reason to be but I’m not. “I need independence in a relationship” My brother in KZbin, STAY SINGLE. Relationships are interdependent. All this stuff is just “I’m scared you’ll hurt me”.

[@taylorbee4010]

Why do they Start off texting And then Avoid texting

[@cherrellefrye2002]

Because there is not fear of intimacy in the beginning. Avoidants want connection at first so they will be VERY responsive for the first couple of months. Then it’s going to be a shift so big you are going to notice it right away.

[@wizardofaus2985]

​@@cherrellefrye2002yup. I married one. He was so perfect in the beginning. Now he avoids so much i don't know where he even lives.

[@rajisinghsoni2321]

You are gorgeous, wow

[@Kinteresting]

My DA is also a super avid texted so… depends on the person

[@taylorbee4010]

Why do they all say the same things

[@martakeczek6476]

Because they're probably so limited in what they think. Like a tight box of thoughts and phrases since they repress most of emotion and burned out even positive ones.

[@wizardofaus2985]

Heard all of these from my avoidant husband. It's exhausting and lonely. I've never felt so low.

[@bulldog1080p]

I'm anxious and use a bunch of these phrases. I;m probably a little disorganized...but either way I'm unavailable lol so it checks.

[@kittykatsanchez]

As an avoidant, ive said a lot of this.l

[@ParisianStreets]

Mine told me they are not coming back. Nc for 2mo. now. For real have I lost them forever?

[@wizardofaus2985]

They might breadcrumb you and ping-pong in and out of your life. But it's never the same.

[@all1nerd377]

Not sure why you are framing avoidants as he. Its not an either or scenario.

[@someoneyoudontknow7705]

Because it’s easier to say “he” when talking about people of either gender instead of saying “he or she” everytime. Also, most languages use the male form when speaking about both genders. I think the real question here is why you are so triggered by this.