Pinocchio (2022) is a Trainwreck

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Disney's "live-action" remakes continue to roll on with Robert Zemeckis' Pinocchio, which may just be the worst one yet. In this video, I go over the movie and why Disney Plus needs to rethink these remakes.
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Special thanks to Andrew Elliott (Stalli111: / stalli111 ) for editing this video!

[@captainmidnight]

Do you think Disney should continue making these remakes? If so, what should change? Sign up for Nebula Classes now at nebulaclasses.com/captainmidnight

[@killerinstinctbaits]

Big no

[@anubusx]

I would rather they didn't.

[@abbieananas]

I don't mind the ones that are really different to the original film, like Maleficent or Cruella

[@chasehedges6775]

@@killerinstinctbaits same

[@chasehedges6775]

The remakes are mediocre/average

[@MarquisdeL3]

Using Pinocchio's growing nose to get a key was literally a gag in Shrek 2. The plan was for him to deliberately lie, by saying something ridiculous like "I'm wearing ladies underwear." and then when that doesn't work, the team goads Pinocchio into denying that he's wearing ladies underwear, which makes his nose grow. So Disney using that idea and playing it completely straight is extra trite.

[@wrestlinganime4life288]

Using the same idea of a movie that essentially parodies it baffling

[@arnequis]

The "Pinocchio Lies On Purpose" in order to escape scene was also used in Filmation Studio's "Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night" (1987).

[@shealupkes]

That tactic was also used in adventures of pinnochio from 2000, another objectively better version of the story

[@binkyboy448]

Hardly. I've seen a few pre-Shrek versions where Pinocchio lies on purpose to get out of the whale's mouth, like the Martin Landau version or the Drew Carey version.

[@j-skullz]

WAIT that didn't happen in the original movie? Shrek wasn't just referencing it? lmao

[@SomeYouTubeTraveler]

The nose-growing scene totally annihilated the story's moral. It turned "You can't lie your way out of taking responsibility for your actions" into "If lying gets you out of trouble, lie all you want." He used the lies on purpose, instead of learning that it was wrong. It LITERALLY _REVERSED_ THE MORAL.

[@DarkPrince784]

This remake looks visually bad, don't get me wrong, but "sometimes lying gets you out of trouble" is actually a pretty honest thing to tell kids. In the adult world we have to bullshit quite a lot in order to survive, not cause conflict, keep our jobs....

[@SomeYouTubeTraveler]

@@DarkPrince784 "Sometimes you must lie to authority" is a concept you teach kids with regard to being straight taken advantage of, like escaping strangers or abusers. Adults who over-rely on it to "not cause conflict" tend to be in toxic relationships. Any relationship in which you both have to bullshit each other to survive ends up just a relationship full of shit. If you have to lie to keep your job, what are you doing? It's not an "adult world" problem, it's a "covering your tracks" problem, which is usually a "been up to stupid stuff" problem. You teach kids to lie to get themselves out of trouble, and you're contributing to a world where no one is trustworthy anymore. There are genuine times in life, especially for less privileged people, where corrupt authority figures are more prevalent and lying for survival really does become a necessary skill. But that's a job for parents to explain the specific situations to their kids. Not just some general vague concept played for laughs in a kids' show, especially when it directly erases and undermines the much more helpful survival lesson of "Own up to your mistakes so people respect your integrity." Maturity is a much more powerful survival tool than deception, unless you're a criminal or a salesman.

[@brokenclock1967]

@@SomeKZbinTraveler Not everyone has parents and not everyone has parents that will tell them the truth. Sometimes all people have in the world to help with life are films, it's sad but true, but that's why movies are great, they can give a little piece of human connection that some kids aren't getting.

[@nincumpoop9747]

@@SomeKZbinTraveler I’m a salesman, and after 20 yrs experience, I can assure you it doesn’t help in sales to lie. Lying salespeople are just lying people who aren’t good enough at their jobs.

[@cheddartheadventurer7511]

This is modern Hollywood - means justify ends

[@Mazra42]

1940 Disney: "Lying only makes things worse." 2022 Disney: "Lying can be a useful tool to get out of trouble." I'm oddly not surprised.

[@horaciosalazargomez9488]

Exactly! That's the "hidden" message now to kids... How ironic, isn't it?

[@horaciosalazargomez9488]

@@aaronsinger 😂😂😂 Why would I? This is the funniest response that somebody had given to me so far, hahaha. Blessings to you, my friend. Hope that you also use your time into something really useful and productive 👍

[@MrDlt123]

@@aaronsinger

[@sugar6234]

Thats what happens when the little hats start monopolizing media.

[@danieldawson-smith2780]

2022 version of Pinocchio feels like he's under duress throughout the entire movie

[@LoreofMars]

One scene in particular that stuck with me in the original Pinocchio was that lying scene. As Pinocchio is telling the lie, his nose grows for the first time. He notices and looks confused, but the Blue Fairy asks him to continue, seemingly believing him. Pinocchio sees that and continues the story, even sounding a bit more confident with each lie that she seems to be buying, despite his nose and confusion, and therefore his lie, being so obvious. The blue fairy almost acts like a mother in that scene, down to giving Pinocchio multiple chances to change his story and come clean, but when he doesn't, she finally calls him out on it and delivers the moral of that scene. Using it as a means for Pinocchio to escape just feels so empty compared to that. Not only do we lose the moral, but we lose that relatability as well. Also Shrek 2 did it better.

[@silverdays2909]

Shrek did everything better

[@artbytesia]

Part of what helped Shrek 2's case is that it's a PARODY. Not to mention that the lies told there were about something ridiculous.

[@Starwebs]

Imagine making a live-action remake (with tons of CGI) that somehow manages to look more “wooden” than the original animated movie

[@dustin202]

They failed at making Pinocchio into a character for the remake, in the original, there’s consequence for his actions which HE had chosen to do, in the remake, he is simply a puppet that is dragged along by whoever pulls the strings

[@anubusx]

Definetly.

[@t84t748748t6]

what disney movie we talking about ?

[@HAFBeast91]

As a Hocus Pocus fan, I am dreading what the Hocus Pocus 2 will turn out to be later this month. Sigh.

[@anubusx]

@@HAFBeast91 Not a sequel i wanted.

[@SpongeBobaFett]

What?? A modern Disney movie was made with a completely flawless main character that glides through the story and takes no accountability for their actions!? I'm shocked!

[@nahor88]

The Mary Sue motif has now expanded to puppets... congrats Disney.

[@bezoticallyyours83]

Haha

[@residentpotato6023]

Wokenocchio

[@AlexsaurusRex]

Glides through the arc 😭 and are all the fairies in Disney going to be men now? Watch out tinker bell

[@_Petrichor]

@@AlexsaurusRex What do you mean? The fairy in the Pinocchio live action is a woman

[@sterlingmartin3235]

Part of what makes the original story of Pinnocchio so compelling is the darkness of it. Pinnocchio gets in trouble because he misbehaves and does not do what he is supposed to do. He lies, he fails to go to school, he listens to and believes the swindler. He tries to find the easy way out and every time Pinnocchio fails to do things right, he faces the unfortunate consequences of his actions. My son was going through some difficulties when I read the story of Pinnocchio to him and we had a good time talking about the story and discussing how Pinnocchio's actions led to his troubles. When you remove the cause and effect from the story you rob it of its power. And while it is dark, it is not dark in a way that children can't handle it and appreciate it.

[@fuscello]

The original novel is something magnificent. I always loved how evil and malicious Pinocchio is (something that isn’t so obvious in the older cartoon adaptation), and how throughout the story he always seems to have understood the lesson like in the “isola delle api industriose” (don’t know the exact term used in the English adaptation, but it should be something along the lines of “island of laborious bees”) where he seems to have started taking his responsibilities, actually doing well in school and he is about to become a real boy finally thanks to the fairy… but no, he gives in to the temptation and goes to the “paese dei balocchi” to have fun with his friend. Only in the end he understands that doing what he wants just hurts himself, and THAT is the moral of the story: even the worst can become good people, they just need to realise that what they are doing is actively hurting themselves even if they didn’t notice before. And I feel like this moral is not the same as the cartoon adaptation, it’s not as simple as “lie bad, sincerity good”, but it is a moral about redemption. This is why I feel like everyone should read the book and not watch the cartoon!

[@83thechaz]

I’ve read the book. It’s brilliant. Del Toro’s adaptation might be the only version coming close to the original. Then creators need to exercise their imaginative muscles lol

[@kathom67]

What these remakes are missing is the heart and soul of the original. And that happening to Disney shows how little their decision makers understand the very own origin of the company.

[@nitewatchman1576]

PROBLEM IS YOU HAVE A DUDE GAY PERSON PLAYING THE FEMALE FAIRY. DISNEY JUST STOP. WALT WOULD TEAR DOWN THE WHOLE THING IFR HE WAS ALIVE TODAY.

[@BryanCostner]

Cinderella is the only Disney remake that has the heart and soul of the original. Literally only that, 7 years later that movie still holds up way more than the other Disney remakes

[@artbytesia]

It's so sad how the company is so driven on money that they sacrifice artistic creativity for something that the youngsters could experience if they just watched the original movies.

[@Green_Bean_Machine]

@@nitewatchman1576honestly, real.

[@Green_Bean_Machine]

@@BryanCostnereeeeh, the og is still better though, there was still no reason for a remake other than money

[@AlexOlinkiewicz]

In some ways, it's good that films like Treasure Planet and Atlantis: The Lost Empire were viewed as failures by Disney, cause it is a pretty safe bet that Disney won't have much interest in remaking those underappreciated classic films.

[@felipeneves7260]

Every barrel has a bottom. Disney will dig up any corpse as long as it gets them a couple extra bucks

[@MrBenMcLean]

I think they're almost certainly going to do Treasure Planet because steampunk has become so gay that its roots in anything even remotely relevant to the19th century have completely disappeared.

[@AlexOlinkiewicz]

@@felipeneves7260 lets are fair it is a VERY deep barrel though

[@thevioletbee5879]

I thought an Atlantis remake was already announced.

[@flannuu]

I also hope they never touch Emperor's Groove

[@jaymontana2708]

I bet they had an executive mandate that Pinocchio cant do anything bad that children might imitate. No disobeying authority, no substance use, no real lying.

[@oliviamorales9406]

Reminds me when Turning Red was released, a bunch of angry parents hated the message of kids rebelling against their parents and discovering their own identity (which is a natural part of growing up)

[@motherplayer]

@@oliviamorales9406 Holy hell, reminding me that in the same year this film came out from Disney and was far more compelling because of it and then comparing it to this film which seems to go out of it's way to not have the character have any agency of his own. Pitiful.

[@mmmk5385]

Most likely which is so frustrating. I’ve work in tv and film, and can say that networks and executives at the moment are forcing far too much control over the entertainment industry and studios. I’ve seen the notes the directors get back the networks and it is the most unbelievably nitpicky things, because they are too worried about complaints from people, about representing the brand, how do we make toys & merchandise out of this. None of this helps make an actual good film. I hope just people watching this don’t get frustrated at the screenwriters and directors, because it is truly not their fault.

[@TheMedicatedArtist]

This was definitely done for the parents and not the kids. Kids do stupid stuff, but if it has immediate/direct consequences, they’ll learn from it.

[@chasehedges6775]

@@TheMedicatedArtist 💯💯💯👍

[@JasonBrockStick]

Wow, this is unforgivable Disney. I remember the later half of the 70’s, being I was born in 1971 and I am so grateful I was in the world for that time - especially being a kid and then a young teen in the later 80’s!

[@r3claim3r]

Disney has lost the magic altogether, been going on well before this Pinocchio remake.

[@alexandrefrauches132]

5:31 Worst part: This idea of Pinochio going to school and being kicked out could actually had worked for the story benefit if it was better executed. Instead of being kicked out, the film could had show Pinnochio in school but finding difficult to fit in, with other kids finding him weird and bullying, causing to become unsure and insecure about the world and become easy prey for Honest John manipulations.

[@TheSoulWithin7]

Nah that shit was funny

[@matheus5230]

The idea had potential, and it also could play a huge part on why becoming a real boy is even so important for him to begin with

[@TacticusPrime]

Then bring the kids back on Pleasure Island.

[@thedothackerkeyblademaster]

I think the 1996 Pinocchio film did something similar to that.

[@yourbabytee]

But that’s not the point of the story. In the original he purposely skipped school. He is constantly facing the consequences of his decisions. Him getting kicked out school made no sense, why is he being punished for going with honest John when he was kicked out of school??

[@jonathanknudsen4120]

They keep doing this. Removing the grit. Removing the flaws from characters. Everything that makes the characters and story feel real.

[@GloriousGrunt]

infantilizing the audience is better for selling toys to adults then trying to teach a moral lesson.

[@alanaadams7440]

Remove the grit but adds LGBT

[@DankHunt420]

@@alanaadams7440 yeah sick of that propaganda being shoved down my throat

[@electrictroy2010]

LESSON KIDS LEARN in New Pinocchio movie: It’s okay to lie if it helps you get a key to escape. (Completely wrong lesson to be teaching.) .

[@marissashantez6051]

And race swapping, which is really I think the only reason they even bothered remaking it.

[@admiralackbar9307]

“Those who control the present, control the past and those who control the past control the future.” ― George Orwell, 1984

[@notcthulhu2650]

"Cartoon bad" - Orwell

[@giga_chad9]

Captain midnight you are one of my favorite reviewers, I’ve been watching you for a few years now and I’ve gotta say my favorite part of all your videos is your intro, that classic 50’s voice just makes me fee nostalgic, it also helps you’re one of the best review channels out there, you go really in depth into smaller things I wouldn’t think about, thanks for your content man!

[@tjones7341]

The problem is they didn’t try to make it timeless. They tried to make it dated. Using words like influencer, throwing in the sassy seagale, making Jiminy more of a wiseass instead of a good-natured parental figure,throwing in contemporary actors like Chris Pine as references, turning Pinocchio into an ‘uwu perfect good boy’. They wanted to appeal to this generation and ultimately crippled the film.

[@abraham2172]

If they wanted to appeal to this generation, they failed terrible. Ive never heard of any member of that generation who liked the movie. We need to trust the younger generations a bit more.

[@Aliens1337]

@@abraham2172 Because old 60 - 70 yo execs in Hollywood think they know what appeals to millennials and Gen Z. Look at the failure of Quibi. A bunch of execs saw the success of TikTok, and saw that young people like to watch short form contents on their phones. So they invested over $500m to make a bunch of crappy shows that had to fit into a weird 10 minute format, and only watchable on mobile. Turns out, young people don’t like to pay to watch shitty TV on mobile.

[@BababooeyGooey]

This film is more indicative of how out of touch these media companies are if they think this would appeal to the current generation, which it hasn't.

[@BababooeyGooey]

the most out of touch thing to say is "hurr durr generations bad"

[@CameronM1138]

That's not trying to make it dated, that's trying to make it modern and *accidentally* making it dated.

[@Godrocksandyousuck]

It’s definitely a trend. Disney wants to avoid controversy with their characters. Every remake is a vanilla cone shell of what the characters actually were like. By doing so, it strips away the magic we once experienced as kids.

[@nahor88]

That one little change of making the beer, root beer is very emblematic of that. We learned as children that drinking alcohol is bad through these lessons, but God forbid the current generations don't get shaded and pampered from the harshness of reality. That being said, kids really shouldn't be drinking root beer either. There is nothing positive about guzzling beverages laced with HFCS and Phosphoric acid. Those same kids that were encouraged to drink soda over alcohol are now soda addicts, and stuffing hospitals with their diabetuzzz.

[@bezoticallyyours83]

You must be new to Disney. They've been sugar-coating old fairytales since Walt's day.

[@scarlett19b]

@@bezoticallyyours83🤷🏽‍♀️Because he made them for the whole family to watch❗👍🏽

[@bezoticallyyours83]

@@scarlett19b Thank you for saying what I just said. 🙄

[@greenatom]

Well, they did add a big pile of shit to this one.

[@huntercool2232]

Everyone: “So are you ever gonna do any hand drawn films again?” Disney: “No.” 🙂

[@HRConsultant_Jeff]

Let's not forget the Steven Spielberg movie AI that is a modern (futuristic) retelling of the Pinocchio story. It is a wonderful story on its own, but it is clearly the same story at it's core. The last scene always brings a tear to me. I lost my mother about the time this was out so I suppose that is the hook for me.

[@Starlightean]

AI is an insanely good movie and a great Pinocchio adaptation. I cry every time.

[@sorartificial]

Man, that scene where Pinocchio lied and got the key immediately backfired in my brain. What are you teaching kids that lying opens doors ?

[@Volksoner619]

Because that’s the real truth. I was taught that honesty and hard work were key and following that philosophy has gotten me nowhere, meanwhile I see liars and thieves promoted repeatedly.

[@bartsullivan4866]

Well in a way life isn't always fair and just. Those who are better looking and great at telling people what they want to hear are usually the ones who get the promotion or get ahead. Many sleep with the bosses. Quality of work and loyalty really don't mean much anymore in today's world. But you are correct the scene destroys the moral of the story, about lying not getting you anywhere but in more trouble. Maybe if they would have used both scenes in the movie it might have worked better.

[@bartsullivan4866]

@@Volksoner619 Exactly, Der I can see it both ways. Those who are just and honest don't always come out ahead. Nice guys finish last for a reason because they got steamrolled along the way. Look no further at Wall Street and U.S. politics. It's all the blame game call one side the spawn of Satan themselves but then go out golfing with them and out to lunch on the publics dime at the most expensive restaurants while all their kids in private schools. Maybe 5 percent did any kind of military service. Doesn't matter the party. I see people who are great at telling others what they want to hear always getting promoted not by their work ethic. So in a sense the scene does work but probably needed the original to give it emphasis.

[@AbsentMinded619]

Der, what I think you might have missed from your lessons is that honesty and hard work ARE key, if you don’t want to be an asshole. For some people, not being one is important.

[@sorartificial]

@Kill Me Some people but at the end it goes bad for them, as the quote says, lies can fly long but the truth will find it in a second.

[@franka2819]

My grandmother told me a few years ago how she saw the first Pinocchio movie in the theatre with her mother, right when it came out in Germany (which was a huge event for her because of ww2). Before the movie started there was a giveaway (the prize was a storybook of the movie you couldn't get anywhere because again, the war lol), and when the man read out the winners seat number my grandma looked down and saw that she won. So she got to walk up to the front in front of all the applauding viewers and claim her prize all on her own. She is over 80 now and is starting to loose most of her memories. Honestly, I doubt she even remembers this story now. But she still has that book in her house to this day.

[@MumuTheRagDoll]

You should scan the book or make a video flipping through the pages on here!

[@NPC-rq6vn]

Interesting. Defineatly should make scans of that book.

[@Walamonga1313]

And your point is?

[@estherbosbach377]

@@Walamonga1313 The point is: it's a nice story/memory.

[@elagabalusrex390]

I'm sorry for her - that's living death. It will happen to a lot of us if we live long enough, alas.

[@paticusmaximus12]

When every frame of a film is literally a work of Art it's gonna be hard to top if not impossible.. especially with all the fail Disney has been throwing out recently

[@K.night_]

It's been a long time since I've watched the original, but when I think of Pinocchio I think of a story with morals and lessons. This new iteration, I don't think had a single life lesson to take from it, like you touched on Pinocchio never seems to make any decisions or learn from the things happening around him. Just another live action remake going through the motions.

[@kiera_rdh6697]

The worst part for me is in the original, Gepetto is a kind old man who never married or had children so he makes Pinocchio to fill his desire to be a parent and have a child. Then he wishes on the star for Pinocchio to be a real boy and be his son. (Don’t know if that is the case in the original stories, but in the first Disney Pinnochio that was my interpretation growing up) WELL in the new one Gepetto already HAD a son who died, so he makes Pinocchio as a puppet version of his son, even saying “it looks just like him!” And he wishes for his DEAD SON to come back to life, but the beam of magic bounces off the glass frame holding the picture of the son and accidentally hits Pinocchio instead. So Gepetto was like “oh you’re not REALLY my son but you’ll do” That is so fucking ghoulish.

[@ChampionElCid]

YIKES! That is... i mean I don't even know what that is, but man....and let me guess, they don't do anything with that do they? There's not a scene later where Gepetto gets mad at Pinocchio or yells something like, "you're not my REAL son!" It's a change that ended up being pointless

[@rijjhb9467]

So, the new one ripped off Astro Boy (which was, of course partially inspired by Pinocchio).

[@aj7710]

So? Have you ever read the original tales these are based on? Peter Pan and the lost boys are dead for example.

[@garym6315]

@@aj7710 The point is, this is a different medium. To Disney and the majority of planet Earth the Disney animations have become the definitive versions of these tales. The live action remakes have no intention of being more faithful to the source material...they just want to remake their films with some 2022 changes.

[@residentpotato6023]

I think Gepetto was really a Gepeddo.

[@EnigmaticGentleman]

Its funny how Disney is so allergic to criticism there isn't even option to say you dont like something on Plus to improve your recommendations.

[@mattatk92]

If you don't like Disney that means you are an evil racist Nazi

[@Vaguer_Weevil]

Hmm that reminds me of a certain website that removed their Dislike button

[@michaelcoward1902]

**Micky Mouse as he beats you with a bat** "It's...The...Happiest...Place...On...Earth!"

[@seen921]

Yep. And they have a lot of learning about what real story is.

[@santosic]

They just know this movie would be disliked into Oblivion 🤣🤣

[@christilivs8703]

Watched the original over and over with my little brother back in the day. When I say over and over!! He wanted to watch it multiple times a day. Really shaped my life and how I operate. When Pinocchio finally gains awareness and steps into his power as a human he becomes a REAL boy. A real person that is not a slave to their emotions, wants, needs.

[@BlackSailPass_GuitarCovers]

6:10 I wonder if the makers of this film realised how by rewarding Pinnochio for lying, it completely inverts the meaning of the scene.

[@dcamaraman939]

Watching the drinking and smoking scene as a child, Kept me away from that stuff because it looked nauseating, The sickened face of Pinochio when he smokes , and they really toned down the disturbing donkey transformation scene

[@Kit_Bear]

I thought the same. It's supposed to dissuade you from drink and smoking. The lesson is that there are consequences for the bad choices you make in life and that you have to pay for those bad decisions. In Lampwick's case his punishment (Like the others) for misbehaving, vandalizing, smoking and drinking is to become a Jackass for the rest of their life(s). The transformation scene is supposed to be as traumatizing as possible to teach kids that if you act like a Jackass you'll become one which is no different to reality. Instead of becoming an actual Donkey, Kids who act like this generally grow up to become assholes if they are not conditioned to change their ways from childhood. This movie basically said that if you have fun and drink Root Beer then you'll become a Jackass. It's supposed to be a metaphor for punishment of your antisocial behaviour and vices not for simply enjoying yourself. I think the transformation scene should have been a lot more severe. It's supposed to be horrifying to watch so parents can scare the hell out of their kids by saying "There, if you behave badly you'll turn into a donkey". That should make them think twice before acting up. Although the movie was quite awful. It did make me smile when the Coachman said "Bollocks". I don't think Americans know how to use that word correctly. In the context of the situation that's quite right but considering it's a PG film it's like saying Fuck. You'll have to be British to understand how to use the word correctly and the severity of the meaning in saying it. It should be used in a PG 13 or higher.

[@nahor88]

You can blame modern PC culture for that... Disney is at the center point of it. One of the most common criticisms of Disney IP is the reluctance to show adult themes/brutality when necessary. All the way through the millenial generation, we had to learn hard lessons as children. I worry about how the current generations are gonna handle the real problems when they become the decision makers.

[@k1m198]

@@nahor88 the plan is that they won't ever become the decision makers... politicians 45-50+ will be in charge for the next 25 years at least, and they hope that in that time they will be able to extend life near indefinitely.

[@michaelfranklin4276]

@@Kit_Bear So true about the transformation scene. Watching Lampwick's pleading hands degenerate into hooves is the most unsettling scene in the entire movie. This is Furries worst nightmare. Whatever creature they desire to imagine themselves as (a fursona), they still possess an opposed digit like the human hand. Personally, I felt sorriest for Alexander, the repentive donkey who could still talk.

[@Kit_Bear]

@@michaelfranklin4276 Exactly. The very thought of you witnessing yourself losing your human form right in front of your eyes is and would be horrifying to watch. In the original film we could see that the donkeys still has their humanity and their minds intact serving as even worse punishment. Them being trapped in the body of a donkey still knowing what they originally were and everyone else being oblivious to their previous human form, I believe this would be pure unending torture every day for the rest of their lives. However in this movie they kind of made it look like these people when they transformed lost all their humanity and memories when the transformation finished. It doesn't have the same impact. The Coachman in the old one took sadistic pleasure in knowing what he'd done to them and their future. He was a cruel, uncaring evil disgusting character. In the new one, true he was uncaring and an evil disgusting character but his motives were purely financial. The old one took personal pleasure and gratification in seeing the kids being tortured as they pleaded with him to be turned back. This made him to be even more terrifying.

[@aidanshea5942]

It's kind of funny that three Pinocchio's are within the cultural zeitgeist at the same time, one a memeable disaster, one a beautiful passion project of a talented director, and... this I guess.

[@KwadDamyj]

Remind me what the first two you speak of are again?

[@aidanshea5942]

@@KwadDamyj the one where Pinocchio was voiced by Paulie Shore and The Guillermo Del Toro one

[@destinyweb1311]

not to mention the Bloodborne-inspired videogame too??? what's going ON

[@dutchmansmine9053]

@@aidanshea5942 "Father, when can i leave to be on my ooooooooowwwwwwwwwwn?"

[@darwincity]

If your window includes 2019, another passion project from the director of the most memorable 21st century movie on the mafia.

[@princessrainbow3756]

I really love the original. Do bad things, get bad consequences. Become better and you may redeem yourself. See the value of a friend who doesn't give up on you. It's really good storytelling and it was already very clean compared to the original written story. I say this from the perspective of the latest version of a Millennial.

[@Dacoldest7]

"Competition is stiff" "Empty shell of itself" I see what you did there sir 🎩

[@arandomfox999]

The Fox and his Cat companion look like they were meant for a film that's actually good. They're the only two characters that didn't seem lifeless.

[@wil.d_sage]

Thats where all the budget went

[@wil.d_sage]

@Kill Me This is true lol

[@razielashura5673]

"A shameless attempt to pull your nostalgia strings" is modern disney in a nutshell

[@invaderzim1265]

Disney's disgusting.🤨 SMH

[@OnionChoppingNinja]

buddy... it's modern day hollywood in a nutshell.

[@WhiteCandle]

Seems to me that a teacher seeing an animated puppet walk into the classroom would be an understandable FREAK-OUT moment.

[@josephdavis4956]

I'm surprised that in this remake Disney didn't make him out of mahogany, or walnut. or any other dark wood. 😂

[@MareShoop]

Well … look at the blue fairy 🤔

[@marieantoinette4816]

@@MareShoop she was supposed to look like an ethereal being, a beautiful Angel like fairy. But ummm…. Yeah

[@NathanTyph]

What strikes me most about the "live action" remakes are how colorless they are. They always feel dark, even in scenes during full daylight. Everything looks so muted and dead. Like the movies themselves.

[@dashcamandy2242]

It's cheaper to produce CGI in dark scenes, the studios don't have to pay for extra detail that the viewer would see in brightly-lit scenes. Unless you meant "dark" as in Darker Than Tim Burton, but in that case you are also right - in which case Hollywood needs some good therapy and a prescription for Prozac.

[@alexanderfretheim5720]

Yeah I honestly don't get why anyone would even want to see that. The Broadway musical of the Lion King KINDA made sense, but even that was a little bit of a stretch. The creator of the film chose animation for it for a reason.

[@san1eong]

Is like seeing a batman movie.

[@eucliduschaumeau8813]

The scenes are so muddy I can barely see them and Pinocchio looks like a cheap plastic McDonald's toy.

[@GloriousGrunt]

@@dashcamandy2242 a Tim Burton Pinocchio would be awesome

[@weston407]

The original lying scene is so charming and sweet and teaches a great lesson all in about 90 seconds; it's a shame that they abandoned it in this one for a cheap scheme to escape from the cage.

[@fabiofuoco]

Yeah also why didn’t the fairy return? She just gave him life and then left him to his own basically, like she has no responsibility over him whatsoever. It felt really cold, in the og she let him make mistakes but when it was really needed she would intervene.

[@KABLAMMATS]

@@fabiofuoco the dude went to buying some milk and cigs and never return

[@Lollipop.er42]

@@fabiofuoco it reaffirmed the idea of loving someone the way they are. Like shrek!!

[@championboy4782]

@@fabiofuoco ah yes Motherhood

[@edwincortes8423]

When Jiminy Cricket says "one does not simply walk to Mordor, I felt that.

[@johnathan1506]

I love how this pinocchio is all like,"lying is such a great way to get out of trouble" while Del Toro's Pinocchio is all like,"Lying is super wrong you absolute imbecile, but it can sometimes very scarcely be used to get out of trouble." Really shows the contrast in how much the people working on these two movies cared for what they where producing.

[@LeonardoKlotz]

A movie is set for a theatrical release, but when the studio changes its mind and sends it straight to streaming, it means even they had little faith in it Now it's just like a movie that goes straight to video

[@busebuse8968]

Pelaldlelelsl şesşwğğwğğeşeşwşşeğeşwşe

[@NeoAya]

@@NillaVille very much not true, look at no way home

[@vigo894]

🐂💩.

[@SuperSilverJay]

@@NillaVille nobody goes for movies they don't care about.

[@lucaskp16]

@@NillaVille LOL. the box office numbers are the biggest they have ever been. you fail to remember that there is now almost 9 billion people while there was only 2billion when the original movie released. that you don't go to theaters doesn't mean people in general don't go. is about going out with friends and family today not so much about needing to go to see the movie. they didn't release this in theater because is was going to flop hard like mulan shit

[@KaeMcSpadden]

Pinocchio’s cartoony design clashed with the realistic designs of the other cgi characters, and it makes him look creepy. And the decision to get rid of the beer and cigars in the pleasure island scene ruins the point that kids should not do them because they will be irresponsible, plus it ruins the comedic timing of the scene when Lampwick starts to transform into a donkey.

[@EpicJoshua314]

Even without smoking and alcohol, the kids still are naughty: they break clocks, steal things, insult each other and vandalize things.

[@KaeMcSpadden]

@@EpicJoshua314 true, but Pinocchio in the remake is too much of a goodie two shoes and doesn’t partake in the mischief and destruction, making his donkey transformation feel unjustified.

[@animezilla4486]

@@KaeMcSpadden I do agree with you that Pinocchio is a too much a good Two-Shoes but at the same time you're arguing about removing cigarettes and beer from the movie I don't agree with even if Disney wanted to include those items into the movie they know that will be a big mistake because I don't think the last thing Disney needs is angry letters from parents and besides no kid movie or cartoon will ever include cigarettes or beer . Do you honestly think it's a good idea to include beer and alcohol in the film it's not keep this in mind this is live action having kid actors be around beer and cigarettes is a recipe for disaster not to mention against the law

[@dan_hitchman007]

@@EpicJoshua314 But Pinocchio doesn't like doing it in this version. In the original story, Pinocchio is gleefully naughty and destructive and bratty and truant until he realizes his actions are hurting someone he loves.

[@KaeMcSpadden]

@@animezilla4486 they can easily show Pinocchio acting badly without him drinking and smoking, just have him break stuff acting destructive. Using root beer is so forced and shows that they are trying too hard to be PC.

[@ajs3147]

"Ain't it funny how you feel When you're finding out it's real?"

[@heatherdale5571]

I learned a lot from watching Pinocchio as a child...I would think of him when I would think about lying...also taught me to trust my instincts with people. Though I might have been wise to learn more from the Pleasure Island portion of the film...but that's another story. 😀

[@matthewnagel1654]

What I hate about these movies is when you criticize them for looking wooden and lifeless, the studio thinks the CGI just needs to get better rather than accept any criticism.

[@angelindenile]

It saddens me that they literally are removing any and all flaws to some of the most beloved characters of all time. It hurts, having grown up so closely to all these movies, to see them get... ruined? Idk, it feels harsh to say it that way but it certainly feels like it.

[@chasehedges6775]

Same

[@janeenschultz8502]

No no, you're right. They're ruining these movies.

[@CoOlKyUbI96]

It sucks. Character flaws are arguably more interesting for characters than character strengths. At least for me

[@lizc6393]

Exactly what happened when they got their hands on Star Wars (with the miraculous exception of The Mandalorian, and for the most part, Rogue One, just imho.)

[@sindri1447]

@@BlueAizu_ overcome the bad guy with great ease of course.

[@TheDeathmail]

Ironically, purposefully lying to grow the nose was Dreamwork's schtick...

[@djmutt2000]

There’s a 1996 Pinocchio movie where he purposefully lied and that was years before

[@barrymoore4470]

I was lucky enough to grow up during a period when the old Disney classics (both animated and live-action) were regularly rereleased in theaters, so I got to see these special films on the big screen for which they were conceived and made, and didn't have to settle for these anodyne remakes. The previews for this rehashed 'Pinocchio' do look pretty uninspiring, and beg the question again of why any of this is necessary. If the studio were interested in preserving its historical reputation for quality and innovation, they would do much better to simply rerelease the originals to the cinemas once more, and give audiences young and old a fresh taste of that old Disney magic.

[@thejakyl1369]

The ENTIRE story is about a young boy learning to be a decent person. Learning to delay instant gratification for doing the right thing and accepting responsibility for your actions. Its no surprise that in this day that message does not go over well.

[@beto3k]

Nowadays no one takes agency for their actions or mistakes. makes sense this failed.

[@Fantallana]

There are enough actual problems with this movie to criticize, y’all don’t have to come up with a bunch of boomer bullshit lol

[@thejakyl1369]

@@Fantallana thank you for proving my point

[@beto3k]

@@Fantallana lol point made

[@TheNobleFive]

@@Fantallana Thank you for having a brain in this sea of terminally online behavior.

[@Neevkl_7]

One random thing that irked me was Pinocchio’s hair being made of plastic in this film. In the original it looked like it was made of velvet or some other soft material which let it bounce around and get messy. But here it’s so stiff and lifeless.

[@HolesGuy]

yes omg

[@nahor88]

Not to mention FUCKING CREEPY. I was honestly hoping the whole movie Pinocchio would get destroyed by something. The animated one looked cute and made you feel empathetic. Also got to mention the Blue Fairy... I have zero issue with her being black. I have an issue with her being FUCKING BALD, and honestly not very attractive. If they really wanted to make a diversity casting, there had to be actresses of color that way better matched the beauty of the original fairy. Anyone saying "you racist prick", eat a fucking dick. I'm also a person of color, and anyone should feel comfortable calling a person ugly regardless of what race they are.

[@doughyjoey_8742]

Easier and cheaper to animate. The magic of Disney still alive in 2022

[@chachyesmeralda18]

I agree with everything you said, Captain. While watching your video, it suddenly occurred to me what it was that bugged me about the look of the remake -- colorless. It's either too dark or too bright; my cones & rods were as unstimulated as my brain. You're right about the lack of energy. Everyone and everything stayed within a Neutral Zone. Pleasure Island scared me to death as a kid. As an adult, I kept wondering why Pinocchio was such a goody two shoes. Jeez Louise, he wouldn't even drink the root beer! And the lying scene was a snore. Thanks for verbalizing why. And poor Pinoc, why did they make him look plastic? At least he didn't look like wood to me. (His clothes were awful too.) I hate the whole remake mindset. You'd think Hollywood would have learned their lesson with "Psycho". You can't copy a classic, even if you go line by line and shot by shot. I haven't minded remakes like Disney's "Cinderella" because the Rogers & Hammerstein version was remade so many times I was used to seeing it in "real life".

[@Tonabillity]

I’d love to see Captain midnight’s first feature

[@DellamorteDellamore0]

Its amazing that Zemeckis managed to direct Tom Hanks into an even MORE uncanny performance than that of Polar Express

[@chasehedges6775]

Tom Hanks deserves better

[@Lord-Emperor-Vader]

Polar Express is a great movie though.

[@michellewilliams5947]

@@Lord-Emperor-Vader Yes it is.

[@kauswekazilimani3736]

@@chasehedges6775 Does he?

[@ForrestFox626]

@@Lord-Emperor-Vader It's okay

[@peterfrank3365]

Such a shame of what's becoming Robert Zemeckis's career. The man is responsible of several classic and iconic films, and he hasn't done just a decent one since 2015.

[@colealbinder2025]

He should have his CGI privileges “revoked” so to speak and make something that relies on practical effects like he used to.

[@peterfrank3365]

@@colealbinder2025 The problem isn't just his reliance on CGI.

[@colealbinder2025]

@@peterfrank3365 no of course, do you mean that he’s forgotten how to tell a story or something like that?

[@peterfrank3365]

@@colealbinder2025 Yes, I do believe he's lost his charm in storytelling.

[@colealbinder2025]

@@peterfrank3365 I feel that a bit too, especially in The Witches where I felt like he was doing more telling than showing with Chris Rock’s narration and not letting actions speak for words. It spelled things out too much for the audience, especially kids. But we the audience and kids are smart and he shouldn’t have to baby us with the material, his older work knew how to do this well.

[@conformistbastard9842]

Ay Tom Hanks has no problem acting with inanimate objects. He spent 3/4 of Cast Away yelling at a volleyball.

[@teampenit]

it's Pinocchio the 2022 Version: He can't be making decisions and facing consequences!! He HAS to be a 'victim', a helpless leaf blown in the wind with no control over his life.

[@bub5842]

Disney used to be a studio that created experiences both children and adults could enjoy. Now, they are so afraid of any backlash they turn a movie into the most child-friendly, non offensive, no stakes story ever. Which truly teaches the kids nothing and makes it so adults cant even enjoy it. They literally told you the lesson of the story in the first 5 seconds. Let the damn kids watch and learn, they aint as stupid as u think and can handle sad moments.

[@dcmastermindfirst9418]

Go woke go broke

[@brewdaly1873]

@@dcmastermindfirst9418 first of all, Disney is still making money hand over foot. Second the problem with these remakes is not inclusivity, which anyone with half a brain can see is little more than disingenuous pandering. It's that they're just empty hearted cash grabs. There are plenty of great movies being made that you would probably call "woke," because oh no, they feature people who aren't straight or white, the horror.

[@Verilee1970]

The problem is some kids are that stupid. More importantly, many parents are that stupid. You can't fish the money out of those stupid wallets without making stupid bait.

[@fabiofuoco]

@@dcmastermindfirst9418 how is being woke of any relevance here? The backlash movies like these are trying to avoid isn’t coming from “woke” gen z on Twitter, but from overly sensitive parents who can’t handle talking to their kids about serious stuff so everything must be brainless and sanitized

[@dcmastermindfirst9418]

@@fabiofuoco Um Disney sucks now. As he ironically pointed out in the beginning of the video Disney just throws cash at any old shit now and it's backfiring on them. All their recent live action remakes of their best cartoons are bombing before they even hit cinemas. From Lightyear to Pinnocio to everything else. They are suck... they're nothing but wooden, poorly written cash grabs. Even marvel is beginning to fail. Thor 4 was lazily written garbage woke garbage too. It didn't even make 800 million despite a huge opening. It had an almost 70% 2nd week crash. That's an atrocious number for any film. Especially a marvel film and don't even get me started on the mcu shows. The cgi is horrendous garbage and the acting is terrible too. They turned Hulk into a pussy aswell. Disney got too cocky and now it's costing them

[@Kira1Lawliet]

I sincerely hate the company that Disney has become. Which hurts all the more, because Disney was such a near and dear part of my childhood. I still hold their animated films in a precious corner of my memories, as well as a number of the live action films I grew up with like PotC. And while I do still enjoy some of the things the company puts out, like the MCU, I can't deny that it ALL feels corporatized and sanitized in a way that 90's and early 2000's Disney never seemed to be. It breaks my heart. The company that founded animated films as a genre and that lit fires of imagination in the hearts of children all around the world for generations has become more focused with pumping out mediocre Star Wars spinoffs and Marvel movies than staying true to their roots. They don't even put out the best animated content anymore-they just let Pixar handle that for the most part. And while every now and then they'll put out a legitimately great animated movie like Encanto, for the most part they seem content to just fart out these atrocious and grossly disrespectful cash cows that vomit all over the name and legacy of Walt Disney and his greatest passion projects. And when they're not busy doing that, they're jerking themselves off for how many intellectual properties they now own. They NEVER miss an opportunity to remind us how much stuff they own, to the point where it's crossed over from being simply obscene and become completely gluttonous and vulgar. This is what capitalism does to art. This is what it does to imagination. The larger you become, the more difficult it becomes to escape the spineless, soulless bureaucrats, pencil pushers, graph mongers, and financial trustees who care more about rattling the fewest cages as possible than about creating something that will inspire and last through time. There's a part of me-and it's not as small as it used to be-that hopes that somebody will break Disney apart one of these days, rip Star Wars and Marvel and all the other companies out of their hands, and force them to return to what they used to do best, and learn again that they need to work and dig deep to earn their audience's money and patronage.

[@kirara2516]

Agreed completely

[@CampingforCool41]

I would love to see Disney break apart and for the artists to band together to create what’s in their hearts rather than whatever shit Disney makes them pump out. They still put out good stuff under Disney, but it’s in spite of the company rather than because of the company.

[@jmpl_aaren]

Preach! 🙌

[@commandercaptain4664]

With Phase 4, these remakes, and Star Wars theatrically spinning their wheels, and the Fox debt still looming too large to surmount, Disneyfilm may not have long to recover. A streamer ain't gonna save them.

[@catprog]

I don't think it would even require a full separation. If the Disney big cooperation owned the individual companies financially but did not have creative control over them then each company would have a difference.

[@gambent6853]

Story isn't the random things that happen in the plot. Story is about the protagonists internal conflicts and how they learn to overcome those inner struggles through the choices they make. Before, Pinocchio was relatable because he was flawed. He made poor choices, and ignored his conscience. He was relatable because we could not only sympathize, we could emphasize. We've been the child, or at times adult, who tried to lie to get out of a bad situation, but we failed to recognize how blatant it was to those around us that we were lying. We've been the one who got swept up in the moment and got into a bad situation, like pinocchio's theater or going to and enjoying pleasure island, and then dealing with the unforseen consequences. What the remake failed to do is show that we, as people, will make mistakes. We're flawed. But we can learn from those mistakes, find and treasure our conscience, and someday become real girls and boys, grounded in reality, and able to learn, progress, and grow.

[@emmanuelsantos7914]

Excellent synopsis - thank you for this video - much appreciated and thoroughly enjoyed!

[@Grnvolpe]

The degree to which they feel the need to sanitize their own story to the point where the film no longer has the same messages or morals is insane. Shame on Disney.

[@Matt-zp1jn]

Even with every valid point the review here makes, especially the screwing up the morality tale of Pinocchio, Disney is still trying to whitewash certain dark undertones of the original to play to todays audiences that this live action pinocchio should be at the forefront to their minds, not the old original. WHY? Why have Gheppedo need a son who died in this new reboot to justify his love of his boy pinocchio and love of childrens toys in the original? Why is tom Hanks playing Gheppedo in this new version? Why completely whitewash the child trafficking undertones away in this new live action reboot? Why were the fox and ol’ bald blackbeard in the original so dark an trying to manipulate, groom, and enslave pinnochio and the boys with manipulative temptations to get them on the island away from their parents, friends, and authorities? What could have happened to all these boys being coaxed away from their guardians, and being preyed upon by men with immoral selfish interests, questionable intentions or ulterior motives? Does Hellywood have a similiar trend of “enslaving” child actors, underage children, and even a dark underbelly of abuse of young boys (&girls too), like we have heard reported onto mostly deaf ears from Feldman & Haim, and many other famous child actors (who are now grown men) who are silent on this? Just like the MeToo movement with Harvey Weinstein and female actresses being abused, could it be possible that male actors and young boys have been targets of older men in powerful positions in hollywood who prey on their innocence for selfish gain? Could Disney be trying to do damage control regarding the publicized child abuse allegations of child predators who worked at the park? Could this be a tip of an iceberg that goes deeper than even Epstein island? Could there be even more abused an trafficked children underground who have been abused or worse?? What is “frazildrip”, what isAdrenochrome, how do the Elite rich & famous look so young? Why did Barack order “hotdogs” an pizza for late night feasts? Dyor.

[@electrictroy2010]

Too long… not interested in reading a college essay on my day off

[@electrictroy2010]

LESSON KIDS LEARN in New Pinocchio movie: : it’s okay to lie if it helps you get a key to escape. (Completely wrong lesson to be teaching.) .

[@springboard1994]

That's the sad thing to remember. Disney is not fucking up it's own stories. It's greedy raiders fucking them up. The juggernaut we have today is not really Walt Disney's Disney or even his idea of it. It's been chopped and shopped so many times. It gets more alien with every corporation purchase/ acquisition. This is just what people feared would happen to the great creative tradition and heart of Disney. It's violated by people squeezing the life out of it for every dime and not giving a shit.

[@maggieallen5985]

It was also a weird choice to have Geppetto effectively replace his dead child with Pinocchio. Even weirder that we know nothing about this former child and how he differed from Pinocchio. The message seems to be about Geppetto accepting his new son for who he is, wooden warts and all, but I feel like we’re missing important context for that growth of his to be really impactful.

[@kirara2516]

They copied that trope from Astro Boy

[@nickimillennium3748]

They had to eliminate the creep factor of a grown man making a boy doll for no reason.

[@AbsentMinded619]

What’s creepy about an old man who never had kids wishing he could be a father? He’s a craftsman, he makes all kinds of dolls and puppets, and after making a particularly good one, it makes him muse about the son he never had. It’s adorable. Making a puppet that looks like your dead son is creepy.

[@spimbles]

damn. i remember seeing the trailer and going "oh wow, the animation looks great and the tone seems right, maybe this will be a good ass movie". its a damn shame that trailers just dont accurately capture what a film is anymore

[@oo0Spyder0oo]

I only learned recently that the original tale of Pinocchio has him kill Jiminy Cricket! I’m glad my book of the original Disney release didn’t do this or it would have been darker than it already was. Sometimes change can be for the better. Not so sure of this new movie however, the first one didn’t need to be remade.

[@sophieamandaleitontoomey9343]

Honestly this one made me angrier than the Mulan remake. They took a perfect film from every angle and somehow watered it down to not being anything but devoid of everything that made the original special. And it’s infuriating.

[@interceptingfist5682]

Jeez chill out. Getting worked up over a children's movie. This movie is for children. You want to watch the classic, just watch that. No need to get worked up over a movie your grown self doesn't like.

[@zachanikwano]

@@interceptingfist5682 Getting angry at lazy, cash grabby work is valid. Especially from a company that has the talent, money, and history to be able to do better.

[@interceptingfist5682]

@@zachanikwano it's free to watch 😂

[@demo2823]

@@interceptingfist5682 You mean if you have Disney+. You're still forking over money for access to every new piece of garbage they churn out. The fact that you thought this was some kind of charity work because you are so used to your Disney+ access makes me wonder if you are even the one paying for it. Meaning, you are probably a teen, and a delusionally consumerist one at that. So you don't really have a leg to stand on when criticising an adult for being critical. Also this was clearly a film made for adults with kids, what with how they sanitized Pinocchio to be almost perfectly guiltless, rather than kids enjoying Ponocchio's mistakes with him and then later learning why it was wrong, so yeah, the adults are allowed to complain about and protest it. And even if it was just for kids- there is no need for brainless media to exist. Things can absolutely be stimulating for children and not a total drag for adults. I was raised on friggin The Road to El Dorado. We shouldn't let studios profit off of producing entertainment with no real value, or else we will just encourage them to keep producing it.

[@nigerjohnson4977]

@Intercepting disney+ simp?

[@memorian8472]

The sanitization and softening of the flawed protagonists in recent Disney films is such a disappointment. Disney storytelling nowadays can be so black & white when it comes to these things because they're too afraid of people finding the main character annoying or bratty, so everyone is just so darn nice, they just end up being blank pieces of wood that offend no one. God forbid their characters so much as fart in the wrong direction and someone calls them out for being a little shitty. A lot of today's characters don't have to experience character growth, so things just happen to them. The story drags them along for the ride instead of them moving the story forward and it's everyone around them that has to change because the protag is flawless. This really sucks because they are crafting a whole generation of features where the main characters are perfect and don't get to be flawed. As if flaws are inherently and morally bad and you don't get to be represented if you have them. How can you show kids that they too can change, grow and actually learn things if their stand-ins in these feature films don't get to. Who are these movies for? I wouldn't dislike these remakes so much, if so many didn't seem like flawed remakes that completely missed the point or straight up OMITTED THE POINTS THAT the originals were trying to make.

[@r.jclark4641]

I think it's down to how harsh a lot of early-2000s era online critics were for the sake of comedy. The kids who watched those videos grew up and are making movies tailored for those kinds of reviewers, unaware those videos were exaggerated for comedy.

[@memorian8472]

@@r.jclark4641 I mean I do believe that early '00s critiques of these film have in a way caused Disney to over correct in their newer creations. But I do kind of disagree on who's making them. I don't have so much of a problem with some of the newer animated films, even though they do suffer a bit from the unflawed protag problem sometimes. But specifically for these live action remakes, the only people they've gotten to direct them have been older film veterans who totally weren't kids when those critiques were popping off on the internet. Many of them were middle age when those critiques were happening and I don't think any of them particularly cared about what was said online. It honestly feels like a company mandate passed down, to just make sure they make the least offensive material possible.

[@LJ-hk4tv]

As if kids aren't pressured enough to be perfect in school or whatever trend their fake friends are forcing on them. If perfection is being encouraged on characters they're suppose to relate to on TV, suicide rates will only go up.

[@demo2823]

And when they do create non-sanitized characters in their original content, they are absolutely unlikeable with unsatisfying resolutions. Raya and the friend who betrayed her. Abuela from Encanto. Woody and Forky. Why do they sanitize tried and trusted formulas and then wreck havic with originals?

[@demo2823]

@@memorian8472 Definitely disagree with you on the animated stuff department. They haven't made a good movie with complex mains and a sensible plot since Coco, in my opinion.

[@quantumrobin4627]

Dude, I was so creeped out as a kid, I remembered wondering if I stole my dads beer and cigarettes I’d turn into a donkey/human, so dark

[@thumbsocial6754]

I'm amazed how good the original still is. And how old.

[@doooooooom]

Disney fell off ages ago, got complacent and knew people will watch any shit they push out. The way to stop this happening is for people to stop giving their hard earned money for a mediocre product. It’s not stopping anytime soon either, we all saw their recent announcements… shame Disney has seemed to have given up on making anything remotely original or interesting

[@zeroelus]

@Josh baker And there's some good new stuff in there....from their licenses/agreements. Bluey is one of the best new kids tv shows out there and it's distributed by Disney+ for most parts of the world(created by Ludo, an Australian studio in association w the BBC), but even then it still doesn't completely escape the occasional sanitization from Disney.

[@TheOmegazerox]

@Josh baker With the old classic movies and cartoons it is good but manny not all recent programs have bin disapointing. I am personally happy watching and rediscovring old programs and movies like Swiss Familly Robinson and I found an old live action Robin Hood and his merry men. I enjoy these movies and have watched manny severall times and thier are nat geo and Marvel movies I enjoy and am willing to rewatch. The problem is people are not content with what is available and always want something new. That is why they floc to theatets and despite complaints they just want more. If people wer more content with what they can watch they could ignore bad movie making and it would get better but demand for more movies and practicley annthing new encourages rushed and bad movies.

[@timreeves7963]

Best comment on here. This is what I hate about movies today. Same with Star Wars, Marvel you name it. They have learned the lemmings will just watch a "brand" no matter how terrible. And they can put "messaging" in them that people hate for the same reason. People do not seem to care anymore about the quality of a product. They just pay for memer' berry nostalgia of long ago stuff that was actually good in the vain hope that one of these disasters can be even 1/10th as good as the original.

[@dcmastermindfirst9418]

@Josh baker Lol. If you were smart you'd realise the internet still exists and you can just torrent the shit. I ain't giving Disney a cent!

[@elagabalusrex390]

Supply and demand. If it's just a product the company is supplying now, its probably cause they think that's all most people expect or want. Disney went through a similar bad period in the 70s and early 80s. Watch almost any Disney film dating from that time - they were god awful compared to what came before and after.

[@danyg4063]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If Disney is intent on remaking their animated films, they need to focus on films that deserve a second chance like "The Black Cauldron." Not remaking films that were already critically acclaimed and wouldn't benefit from a remake.

[@reptongeek]

Except if they are sanding down characters like in Pinocchio, a remake of The Chronicles of Prydain would also be the same thing and just as disastrous

[@KillahMate]

But Pinocchio is guaranteed name recognition and guaranteed money, and The Black Cauldron is not. And that's what this is all about - remaking movies for easy name recognition. Disney's live action remakes are a marketing exercise not an artistic one.

[@palladiamorsdeus]

I'd really...rather Disney not take a second crack at the Black Cauldron. They slaughtered the first attempt in spectacular fashion and I have zero faith they'd do better on a second go around.

[@davidmckesey7119]

Treasure island

[@metademetra]

Oh somebody tried. Disney turned it down. We're getting several different pairs of movies that are both remakes and movies based on the same story that have nothing to do with the remakes. (Example: a Sword in the Stone movie and a standalone Merlin movie that has absolutely nothing to do with the Sword in the Stone cannon) But we aren't getting the one remake that has a sliver of hope of being good.

[@PeBoVision]

I so wish you would have compared it to Matteo Garrone's 2019 interpretation, which I very much enjoyed. I too look forward to seeing what the inventive (and ofttimes dark) mind of Guillermo del Toro will bring to the table. Until then, Garrone gives us a wildly imaginative take, with unusual casting choices and stunning overall production design. And most importantly, a Pinocchio far more faithful to his literary origins than anything Disney would dare to portray.

[@xili0966]

They definitely changed the Pleasure Island sequence into a roller coaster because they will build a ride like it at Disneyland.

[@ebransc09]

They also omitted the Kennedy from the original

[@TheSchaef47]

They made Jiminy look more like an actual cricket and at the same time made Pinnochio look less like a wooden puppet, and somehow, both look far worse

[@mustachetwirler7617]

That scene where Pinocchio lies to get the keys with his nose feels like it rips off a similar scene in Shrek 2.

[@rennyotolinna2863]

The nose-growing scene would have been better, if the blue fairy used Pinocchio for self-complacency and said: lie Pinocchio, lie, lie!

[@ANTINUTZI]

... The shnarks moved in even while Walt's body was still warm.

[@cf87]

You really hit on something with this: Lifeless. That is the best description I can think of for the Disney remake faze. The Lion King felt lifeless in its art and songs compared to the original; Beauty and the Beast felt lifeless in song and acting; The Jungle Book wasn't awful, but the Cinderella one was forgetable. Sadly I feel the Little Mermaid remake may fall victim to the same lifeless, hollow problems, but I hope it finds some inspiration. As for Zemeckis, it feels like since he did Polar Express the magic just isn't there anymore...he found a gem with Flight, but I think that had more to do with Washington, but the man that made BTF and Roger Rabbit, Forest Gump and Castaway, the energy and spark is just gone.

[@darwincity]

At least the Cinderella remake had some life, colour and charm in it, as well as the overall good performances of the cast. The Jungle Book careened between charming and overtly goofy.

[@hairglowingkyle4572]

Cinderella may be the most forgettable but tbh it's actually the only one in the remake lineup to have slightly more character and probably even improved on the older animated film Cinderella 3 is still better ngl Jungle Book is pretty much the best one, it has it's own unique charm and a genuine good watch

[@sunsetvine6923]

Well, i agree with most of your points. But to me, Cinderella remake is actually the best among all the live-action remakes.

[@coralroper6876]

I liked the Cinderella remake, because it actually gave the prince a name and a personality and actually showed WHY Cinderella would fall in love with him in the first place. And I didn't like the Jungle Book remake, because a) in the original movie Shere Khan was a suave, sophisticatedly threatening villain and the remake turned him into a thug, and b) Christopher Walken should not sing. Ever. But other than that, I agree with your assessment about remakes.

[@Sarah-mw2hi]

I actually really liked the Beauty and the Beast remake. I think Evermore was great and the most of the acting was actually pretty good. While there have been criticisms of Emma Watson's singing, the other songs are rather enjoyable and I would rather watch the live-action Gaston song than the original. Also I'm not sure if Maleficent is a remake of a retelling but if it counts I think it is also one of the best Disney live action movies.

[@jopat87]

One truly important thing to understand- Disney’s Pinocchio *isn’t* a movie you can make today. Every major element reflects the standards and values of the era it came from. But that didn’t stop Disney, they still attempted to make a carbon copy. And this mess was the end result.

[@arnold20139]

Exactly.

[@wafflezombie167]

If Disney attempted to make a carbon copy, this movie would've been just as good as the original (aside from the very obvious lack of charm that the old animation style had). Disney didn't try to make a copy. They tried to steal the nostalgic love for Pinocchio and implement their own modern values into it. The same reason why this movie is a trainwreck is the same reason why all the big, American cities are a cesspit of crime and decadence. The immoral values that underline this movie are the reason our society and culture are not a shining beacon to the world anymore

[@j-skullz]

​@@wafflezombie167 Imagine thinking "society" was *ever* a beacon of morality lmao

[@TheNobleFive]

@@wafflezombie167 Terminally online behavior

[@doctorrobert1339]

@@wafflezombie167 You had me until you started to talk about decadence. It's so worrying how many people believe that nonsense.

[@geraldstephens6612]

Disney had talked about the criticisms of some scenes in Pinocchio; he pointed out these scenes were in the book.

[@mathewomolo]

I never saw Pinocchio as a flawed character. He was jus naive. He was literally one day old, expected to make good decisions and understand the world and its consequences.

[@FredHMusic-gr7nu]

“Father, when can I leave to be on my own? I’ve got the whole world to see!”

[@Impalingthorn]

This was the killing blow for me. Pinnochio, next to Winnie the Pooh, WAS my childhood. How people felt about Snow White on its initial release was how I felt about Pinnochio and seeing them change the fairy, change the morals, change PINNOCHIO HIMSELF, it almost makes me want to vomit. Walt Disney is rolling in his friggin' grave.

[@rijjhb9467]

I've never seen the movie but Pinocchio was my childhood to, I had the illustrated book (not made by Disney) and I even went to Collodi as a kid. Pinocchio's legacy goes far beyond a Disney movie: growing up I watched not one, but two whole anime series about Pinocchio, and the message was always the same: Pinocchio is a liar and he makes terrible choices to satisfy his short term enjoyment. That's the whole point of the character.

[@fuzzywzhe]

Read the original A.A. Milne books of Winnie the Pooh. Disney really watered it down to make an adaptation.

[@stefannicolae2570]

Wow, what an entitled thing to say. Have you ever thought about the children of colour who are happy to see characters of colour in disney movies? NO, you only think about ur fking childhood while you still have the original Pinocchio. U fail to understand that the audience is different (AND NOT YOU, by the way) and the times and everything. 'killing blow', 'makes you want to vomit' - who TF are you, Karen??

[@drdelewded]

The new live action Winnie the Pooh looks awesome.. Blood and honey

[@invaderzim1265]

This is my breaking point. They touched something more precious than mermaid! 😖💔

[@iamspartacus3114]

The real issue is that modern production does not recognise the wit, imagination and creativity of the earlier classics. They think CGI is a substitute for those things, when it is not.

[@Anonymous-fu5ok]

They changed the moral of the story from being bad is bad to being different is okay. Welcome to 2022.

[@HarryThomasPictures]

I completely agree, I hated how they sugar coated the pleasure island scene and made it more kid friendly. They also made the villains who were terrifying in the original into jokes!

[@najhoant]

The fact that this premiered on Disney+ and not in theaters was a bit of a red flag. It’s Artemis Fowl all over again

[@byrosiemayne]

The moral of the Pinocchio story was that your choices in life matter. So, I agree, giving the character practically zero agency, making him just a victim of life’s circumstances doesn’t work.

[@wildcalmxtra]

Isn’t it rather ironic that the comparison you noted between the original film’s character and the remake having no agency, almost not driving the story, could equally be said about Disney’s whole remake output of the past decade! Thought your video was very insightful. Disney should take note.

[@Miglohara]

To remake what is generally considered THE perfect Disney film from a technical standpoint shows a level of hubris on the part of all involved with the creation of this thing that arguably has yet to be seen with these remakes. So happy to see this film get the thrashing it deserves, it has done no favors to either the legacy of the 1940 original nor Robert Zemeckis' continuing decline (he should've retired years ago).

[@chasehedges6775]

Indeed.

[@benjaminwatt2436]

Disney really seems to be hitting a lot of lows recently

[@chasehedges6775]

@@benjaminwatt2436 They really have and it’s just depressing

[@anonomas3530]

This kind of hubris makes me worried that one day they will try a back to the future remake, I know it’s not Disney but this comment about hubris is right

[@EpicJoshua314]

It added 4 new songs (really liked Geppetto's first song and the Coachman's song), added new characters Sofia, Fabiana and Sabina (the latter of which result in Stromboli being arrested), gives a backstory on Geppetto, has homages to Collodi's book, and has lots of comedy. What about the performances of the actors? I feel they did a fantastic job. Movie rating: 7/10

[@benjaminwatt2436]

I loved the part where Woody hops out of the star destroyer and yells "Help me Jiminy, you are my only hope"

[@Lord-Emperor-Vader]

You got the quote wrong he said its Pinocin time.

[@itsamechrispratt380]

@@Lord-Emperor-Vader And then he Pinocchioed over everyone

[@mostlymowiewowie2544]

Great review. Disney sucks these days, it seems they just want to ruin all their classics.

[@Dinosaurprince]

That man fairy is pure nightmare fuel. Belongs in Pan’s Labyrinth.

[@myusernamerocks3]

My daughter had nightmares after seeing that horrific creature.

[@Bendylife]

The thing about the 1940 Pinocchio is that it wasn't made for children, unlike this remake. Back then animation was either for adults or for general audiences. Disney at the time was incredibly passionate about the art and not about selling to children. it's really sad that it changed because it's hurt animation ever since. As an animator it hurts my soul how animation is treated by corporations.

[@alexanderfretheim5720]

Well, before you feel too down, remember this: America is just one country, and the mistake of the American Film Industry do not represent the actions of the entire world or the human race as a whole. There's still lots of great animation coming out of Japan, and the British also seem to have not completely lost the plot.

[@sherriianiro747]

The classic Disney movies encouraged cognitive and behavioral development in children. You had all the elements in life in the storylines that had heart. Disney today has none of that now.

[@joshuasnell7942]

There was plenty in the original Pinocchio that was clearly for children.

[@GenerationX1984]

Then there were the Disney shows that were made for kids and adults alike. Disney Afternoon was for both kids and adults. I used to watch shows like Darkwing Duck and TaleSpin and DuckTales with my friend and his mom as a kid after school. Good times!

[@darkwood777]

@@joshuasnell7942 It was clearly for adults recalling what it was like to be a child hearing fairy tales told to them, and wanting these same stories come to "life" on the movie screen for both themselves and their own children.

[@firstnamelastnane4700]

It’s amazing how they could go so out of their way to re-create the plot beats and yet completely destroy the story.

[@electrictroy2010]

LESSON KIDS LEARN in New Pinocchio movie: It’s okay to lie if it helps you get a key to escape. (Completely wrong lesson to be teaching.) .

[@im1who84u]

Disney missed their opportunity to make "Pinocchio" a male transvestite that identifies as a gay black female and Geppetto as a pervert who secretly molest little girls that identify as young boys that are persecuted by society for being different and don't really know what gender they are.

[@nitewatchman1576]

They have been doing it for years, since they went woke.

[@bluedragon1979]

A cautionary tale about the consequences of lying and acting on compulsive whims, turns into a trauma fest of circumstance that kids are led to believe, are not in one's own control to take responsibility for. And then using detrimental and destructive behaviors in order to "make things right."

[@Aultimaespada1]

You should make a video about Del Toro's Pinocchio!

[@jorgegomezespinosa8192]

For me, the 2019 version with Federico Ielapi as Pinocchio and Roberto Benigni as Gepetto is the definitive adapation. It's as wonderful, eerie, whimsical and bizarre as the book

[@mds_main]

I was about to comment this. If you want to see a good live action Pinocchio movie, that is also much more faithful to the source material, go watch the 2019 Italian movie with Federico Ielapi as Pinocchio and Roberto Benigni as Geppetto (NOT to be confused with the 2002 Pinocchio movie who had Benigni as the titular character instead). To my knowledge it was also released in the USA either dubbed or with subtitles.

[@dianakosianka5344]

9:47 - Funny you should mention Jiminy Cricket's insect-like body not meshing well here. In the original movie, he was initially designed to look more like an insect, but it didn't look appealing, so they whittled it down until he became the character we know and love today. I believe Ollie Johnston said that he was only a cricket because they "said" he was a cricket.

[@carlrood4457]

They've become so afraid making bad behavior look cool to kids that they refuse to try and make bad behavior look bad. You can't have consequences without the required actions. It's like how every time a plane would be shot down in the 80's GI Joe cartoon, they'd show a parachute.