Pizza Hut & Birkin Bags | The Tim Dillon Show

Tim talks figures, Pizza Hut helping you find a job, a woman’s purse choice, Sydney Sweeney, the former Abercrombie CEO, Jimmy Carter outside and why Fresno kids have no shot.
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#TimGivesBack

[@eatpraybrightboquet]

Petition to appoint Timothy as the 1st gay White House Press Secretary Edit: Best episode in months

[@drones7838]

Yess 100%

[@jimmy87587]

he would prob last longer than Scaramucci 💀

[@ttabasso]

first ???? hello

[@MikeNBikes]

No double speak, no sugar coating he would be great

[@KarlSnow-z9j]

I thought Corrine Jan-Luc Picard was lesbionic

[@85bstout]

Watching Tim reorganize and straighten those papers more aggressively as the show goes on is why I show up every week 😅

[@P1xi3_7]

Very Alex jones 😂

[@Youtubeiswoke-p7i]

Adderall😂

[@uodbouqwerty7128]

It's called journalism.

[@DarhkCrizzus]

amen!

[@tapetrader2590]

The shuffling of the papers gets more Brokaw every show .

[@TheMrbillearls]

I tried to OD on sleeping pills and I just woke up refreshed the next day.

[@kathleenp3135]

😂😂😂

[@ShaneMclane-PrivateEye]

Better luck next time.

[@earthwalker7992]

That’s all you needed.

[@Jdn326]

Sorry for your loss

[@notthatkindofsam]

So that’s the trick to a good night sleep 😂😂😂

[@fronproductions3527]

I love how I immediately know it’s an ad when tim’s audio goes from crystal clear to 10 feet away inside a walk in freezer.

[@DeShawnGreen2001]

because thats where he'll end up if you don't BUY BUY BUY. its a real knife fight out there

[@askmemum]

@@DeShawnGreen2001that’s life in the big city

[@KiRa-fy6uq]

​@@askmemumit's a doggy dog world

[@isai4130]

Hearing someone with $35k glasses call someone with a $32k handbag mid, is the most American thing you can do.

[@interesting7906]

32K handbag you mean..

[@nellyb1594]

Way of the road baby

[@j0el]

His glasses even if official are no more than a few hundred bucks

[@SquatSage220]

He was gifted those $1200 LV’s by the Mossad, reluctantly

[@isai4130]

@@j0el you must be new

[@thegnosticalien]

“People can’t afford the amount of drugs needed to overdose” is most likely the GREATEST beginning to a podcast of all time lmao

[@dirttravelertales270]

I’m 100% going to send my Pizza Hut resume to Papa John’s for a job

[@AnnCronin-ds6pu]

😂

[@phettywappharmaceuticalsll8842]

I don’t like your chances with papa Johns

[@monguskooklord7867]

they'll put a hit out on you bruh

[@whiskeyguzzlerpaso]

please actually do this, and report back

[@phettywappharmaceuticalsll8842]

@ relax we’ve got our best people on it

[@FamousActor_AlPacenis]

“They go to heaven and get 72 Birkins”🤣🤣🤣

[@monsteranne7324]

Tim dillon is now a freemason. Joe Rogan was his sponsor. Freemasons are the ones behind the start World war 3 and support Israel. Tim Dillon sold out and that's why he slowly not funny anymore. he used to be the cool conspiracy theory guy but he doesn't believe in that now because he's a part of the club.

[@Jeff-tt7wj]

This is peak Tim Dillon. I laughed so hard I cried during the Pizza Hut resume part. What a state of affairs. We must embrace the coming void. It’s over.

[@slampersand3145]

I listened to Chris Hedges end of the empire thing right before and this is perfect.

[@jw6487]

It’s never ever ever ever ever ever ever over

[@KamPatterson69]

Just emailed a pic of my footlong turd I dropped last week 😂

[@BLK_MN]

It's actually rock bottom. He's lost so much integrity

[@jcb1535]

@@BLK_MNwth? 🫵🏻🤣

[@virgo4200]

Tim back with the Paper Shuffle ASMR for my weekly real news journalism show

[@LBTennis]

I can't afford to overdose

[@ToedCobra33]

it's a real knife fight out there

[@Jay-nx6dr]

Get your priorities straight 😂

[@JesterJames22]

If you can afford internet, you can afford OD. Now get out there and make Timmy proud!

[@LBTennis]

@JesterJames22 Gotta finish Ghostwire:Tokyo and then I'll get on it

[@bigbody1842]

For real for real

[@martinlawrence2885]

My god I’m so glad I found this podcast lol you’re a genius

[@DoomAndLoom]

Standing in line to cast my vote 2 hours wait listening to Tim Dillion, the true American Dream.

[@graysonsaylors3565]

2 hours?!

[@DoomAndLoom]

@graysonsaylors3565 Yes, sir.

[@nickinskeep]

Good lord where are you? I've never had to wait more than 20 mins, and that pissed me the hell off

[@DoomAndLoom]

@nickinskeep Ya, when I lived in a smaller suburb, I my wait was pretty minimal, but I'm in a major city now. To be fair, Saturday wasn't the best choice on my part.

[@jaynegaston55]

And this was early voting...man I'm in for it on the 5th. I think it's gonna just be a day off bc I'll be waiting

[@sjohn-th9ok]

smart people talk about ideas. really smart ppl talk about Tim Dillon.

[@murrduckulous]

😂

[@DefaultSettings-kz8vs]

You are all brainwashed low IQ Trump betas. Tim is a sellout puppet now. Bring back OG TIMRAY 2024 ONE LAST MEAL

[@riffraff9070]

“Do you thinks it’s eaaaaazy being the head of Hamas?” 😂

[@Lopfff]

Tim’s commentary in the midst of world affairs is like a well-crafted improvised cadenza in a great violin concerto

[@guestuser5852]

Tim please fertilize my brain with knowledge

[@Your_pixels_are_showing]

That's hot lol

[@presterjohn1697]

Fertile Myrtle

[@presterjohn1697]

Aww Skeet Skeet Skee Skeet Skeet Skee

[@someoneanyone365]

I’m 1 min in and already SO excited for next week’s video post-election. When we need Timmy’s takes the most. We wish him well♥️

[@phettywappharmaceuticalsll8842]

We need an election-night coverage episode from Tim the terrible

[@notthatkindofsam]

@@phettywappharmaceuticalsll8842agreed! Live stream

[@someoneanyone365]

@ that would make my year

[@fredocuomo5386]

tim live streaming the election would be amazing

[@justhiphopau]

We need to get this to the TOP! US PIGGYS DEMAND LIVE SLOP! we can't wait until the 9th November! Vote this ⬆️⬆️⬆️

[@kylemorden4436]

“Are we going to just get a bunch of spam emails” Proceeds to conduct fake business

[@jlshel42]

Gotta put them to work

[@Levipaulsen]

I add "..and I will continue to conduct fake business" to 10% of my statements.

[@presterjohn1697]

Let's do Kamala Business

[@phettywappharmaceuticalsll8842]

I like my chances with Blackrock thanks to this pizza idea

[@Your_pixels_are_showing]

Damn. Not if my pizza makes it to them first 😂😂

[@phettywappharmaceuticalsll8842]

@@Your_pixels_are_showing I ordered stuff crusted bro it’s a wrap

[@Gcm42011]

As a Pizza Hut employee, this is hilarious

[@QEsposito510]

Do you have any PT roles open that pay over $100k?

[@Gcm42011]

@ I make just under that doing PT

[@D3AMM]

This man is true national treasure

[@caddyshack68]

These large sunglasses have become a staple for the show.

[@zackbarkley7593]

They're basically a mirror for the 4th wall. He should just have a live studio cam graphic.

[@dudsbarbde9116]

Have you not seen the latest episode of him on Joe's podcast? No shit it's a staple, Joe Rogan put on a pair just to film the episode. Didn't even wear them the entire time, just did it for the thumbnail and Tim is one of his best friends.

[@jaynegaston55]

I used to hate them but I'm used to them now.

[@11even_]

Tim as White House press secretary would actually be the greatest thing to happen to american politics ever 😂

[@adamrumball2582]

11:27 the laugh! “Can you imagine someone chewing when they call to say they are not interested” 😂. Let me know how many pizza resumes get sent to you now, ironically.

[@rollingthunder5944]

Enjoying the show from St Petersburg. Wish me well as I aim to conduct some fake business and enjoy life in the big city.

[@DikembeMutumbo]

Those ad reads looked like a hostage video lol

[@therealko7013]

That first one was a straight up jump scare lmao

[@bengraham4959]

😂

[@WalkerLarson497]

You’re so right. It looks like the start to an Isis video. 😂

[@Moncters]

“Take your Burkin in the tunnel”😂 This is one of Tim’s greatest episodes.

[@CantUnderEstimate]

“Shes not thrilled in the tunnel I wouldnt be thrilled in the tunnel”😂

[@DoomAndLoom]

I have now watched Joker 2 because of you, Tim. So this better be good.

[@lorellgingrich6603]

😅😆

[@tatertot4810]

Dude. I seriously am in tears laughing. This guy is the funniest comedian on the planet

[@gijoey5912]

Gonna listen to this on my drive up to Chicago to watch Tim perform tonight.

[@tuesgayy]

You want a cookie?

[@hellraiser666666]

you want some milk with that cookie?

[@FaterialL]

Want me to put that cookie on a nice ceramic plate for you?

[@pretty_troll]

get ready ! saw him last night 😊 soo worth it !!!!!!!

[@prestoncrocker119]

Bro that’s awesome, Enjoy

[@alex6472]

Can you imagine how good next week's episode is going to be?

[@jaynegaston55]

He better not pre-record it I swear to God

[@eddwright]

“Wait a sec, don’t open that box of pizza check out this guys resume” said nobody fucking ever

[@kylemeis5455]

55:13 “How dumb do we all look?” was so genuine and quantified Tim Dillon’s whole life perspective 😂

[@sresbombastic]

Donald trump needs to come on your show and Alex jones at the same time

[@OptimistPrime1985]

Holy sht…Now that’s brilliant.

[@damiens6465]

Hell Yeuh

[@jamalydude]

Now THAT would break the internet

[@notthatkindofsam]

The internet doesn’t have enough bandwidth to support that 😂😂

[@antonyjh1234]

If a surprise show comes out before the election know it was you, maybe separate them and have Alex till after the election

[@joshuamiller125]

Exactly what I needed while getting drunk at the airport waiting for my flight home

[@sirg-had8821]

I wish you well. *Tee-off*

[@jamalydude]

Tim is life

[@Lopfff]

…in the big city

[@jlshel42]

Ironic since as a gay he can’t make life

[@user-tk1lf5hi6f]

Tim is my wife

[@amandam6263]

Tim your election coverage is unparalleled

[@itsalwayssunnyinwesteros2966]

Hurry up you gay

[@CjMooseChuckle_1]

😂😂😂

[@williamjohnson9158]

🐖

[@Andrew-m2w]

lol.

[@ezkoney]

Fact that can’t be debated.

[@lammypie3561]

Bet you’ve mumbled that phrase to your stepdad many times whilst biting that pillow

[@spencerandersenn]

Loving the Fall colors Tim, nice touch.

[@TD-qi2rw]

Uncle Tim, happy Saturday ! Have fun in Chicago and stay safe !!!!

[@uocana1]

Can’t wait to see Tim tonight in Chicago, I will be attending front row with the Costco family 😂

[@CantUnderEstimate]

Bring the BOOM

[@TheMilkMansMilkMan]

GOD DAMN IT TIM!! You have done it again 😂😂😂 absolutely genius material. Dying laughing at work. Love you so much

[@Doopersteen]

I’m fckn crying at this Pizza Hut rant Absolute throwback classic Tim Dillon vibes

[@AUSHARDSTYLE]

I trust this podcast more than the garbage patch in Puerto Rico

[@Steve-ev6vx]

The great Caribbean garbage patch 😂

[@iheartwheelies]

fuckin garbage stole my cabbage patch kids

[@kger4643]

The garbage patch IS Puerto Rico 🇵🇷

[@JallenSandusky]

Racism! You must listen to the Nazi Tony Hinchcliff

[@justhiphopau]

Did you report me for making a TLDR comment on KT about Tony's "PR" comment? If you didn't, welcome to hell 😁 where in Aus? Roughly?

[@lizbec1085]

Thank you for the Highly Highly Highly Intellectual Comedy, Tim! Your show is Truly the Dark side of Cool!

[@xSirDudex]

"who wants to be principal of that shit school" 😂😂😂im dying laughing.

[@HybridTrapMusic]

tim dillon should be pizza hut spokesperson

[@jayweiss4378]

Tim really is Wreck-It Ralph all year! No need for Halloween costume 🎃😂

[@presterjohn1697]

F*ck-It-Ralph

[@xxrkg8437]

Tim’s preparing to be apart of the JD Vance 2028 administration

[@JG-jy7pe]

the saturday 12pm timeslot is fucking perfect tim

[@MrShaunDu]

Tim was on his shit😂 . In rare form. He said “ RHWOH”😩.

[@Dev-In-Denver123]

0:13 I’m gonna stop right here and just say the OD rates have fallen for the last 6 months because everyone who used drugs to the point they OD had already overdosed and uh, you know. Not around to OD anymore.

[@vagabond251]

There was a similar consensus on Reddit to this statistic.

[@Minxyminx68]

😂😂 that could be! All the weaklings are outta here! Old heads still standing strong💪😆 Or it's because trank n meth have taken over the US, and tranq just knocks them out n meth is pretty hard to OD from, before they continue to do more.🤷🏼‍♀️😆....seriously tho, idk if you can od on tranq 🤔..🤔 I think it just tranquilizes n knocks ppl out immediately.... and drug dealers are tellin ppl to be careful for once because they know how strong tranq is🤷🏼‍♀️ I used to know dealers like that😏 so its not like it's impossible🥴🤷🏼‍♀️

[@sagetmaster4]

Correct.

[@porks8947]

But why these six months specifically has it fallen? Isn't there always new people getting into drugs/od'ing?

[@GideonHawk-j8i]

So the cartels are out of business then right?

[@jaybeerants5682]

I'm new to Tim Dillon. We are basically aligned politically and comically if that's a word. Keep it going mannn!! 👊 ✊️ 🤛

[@challydad3454]

The rant about the pizza box resume is the hardest I’ve laughed in years. I laughed to the point of ugly face with tears.

[@timothyfoley3]

“Give her a Birkin! Who cares?!” 😂😂 Funniest podcast in a min, he was on fire 😂 And you’re right I can’t even afford to OD anymore 😅😭🫣

[@AB-un4io]

This fuckin’ guy is a genius. I’m already laughing hysterically and I’m only a little way in. Tim Dillon is a national treasure! 😂

[@jander510]

10 seconds in and I remember why I love Tim. 1:30 in and he’s in a league of his own. He’s priceless

[@TOTKHub]

Are we going over Peanut the squirrel on this episode?

[@linchen5129]

i say we riot for peanut 🥜

[@Capoferri15]

Free peanut.

[@Nohandleforme-9000]

@@Capoferri15New York euthanized Peanut already.

[@Blindstoic]

Justice for Peanut.

[@Big_AlMC]

​@@Blindstoic Did they atleast eat peanut? Squirrel is very good meat.

[@ccgre4205]

JIECO! Tim's great attention to detail and his interest in anything other than politics adds a realistic, hilarious spin to the everyday bullcrap that is fed to us. Hail' Tim Dillon!

[@NCSpeedDiva67]

Is that MR. SNUFFLEUPAGUS in the cup on your desk, Tim?? I'd like to say I'm excited to see it cause of my Grandkids, but nope, it's ALL ME😂 Whatever it is, I ❤ it!

[@lifesajoke6965]

He was on Sesame Street as a kid

[@Azimandozi]

TImmy's going hard in this one, bringing old Tim back!

[@kaithekook760]

Pizza Hut might be my savior

[@twosret2210]

When i watch some shows on KZbin i fast forward through the ads lol but never Tim dillons 😂😂😂 he is amazing

[@dkrueger85]

Holy shit when he started breathing heavy during the DXL bit I couldn’t take it lolololol

[@BackhandsAllDay]

😂 i know right

[@fasthall0788]

Tim dropping facts and making me cry laugh at the same time #GreatestOfAllTime

[@questioneverything1682]

Tim's insights into American life in 2024 would inform LOTS of public officials if they would just pay attention to his wisdom! 😄

[@baileyjacobus7276]

“The pizza was a nice thought, but at our company we won’t accept anything less than an edible arrangement.”

[@ThirdEyePsychology]

We wish them well.

[@tyguy3876]

Ehhhh thank the Gods! One thing I look forward to every week.

[@wills242]

Hearing Timmy D identify a gun first try brought a tear to my gey little straight eye

[@CampaignColinBambury]

24:03 GET IN THE CAR 😂

[@heelmoxley365]

The weekly satire for us piggies as this titanic we call a society drowns us in freezing cold water. The lords work truly!

[@riffraff9070]

“Shouldn’t they have built a water treatment facility instead of living in luxury in Qatar? Yeah and they should have built it in Flint, Michigan 😂

[@throwawaygaming]

Tim dillon for first former gay cocaine addict president

[@BenjaminCason]

Your going with he’s the first of those? I’ve got hard suspicion on at least 4 diffrent ones lol

[@NCSpeedDiva67]

Wait. Formerly gay or coke junkie? Either way, he's a quitter 😂

[@revbr4v087]

🤣

[@jakemo7650]

lol first? Haha maybe

[@Fugged1998]

“Seasonally” recovered cocaine addict 😂❤

[@fjws7652]

Just had to come over from spotify to say i was howling during this episode 🤣👌😅

[@CristianRodriguez-uf6pv]

Seeing Tim tonight at the Rivers Casino Perfect pregame

[@-zeina-8008]

Tim being poignant and hilarious, as usual❣❣❣ Love love LOVE the laughing in the background!!)

[@toddmatelski4650]

One of the best parts of this show is his engineer or producer laughing off camera!

[@kathleenp3135]

Ben’s laugh was the greatest😂

[@alex-qd6of]

That's what i was going to say. Tim's not quite the same, without him...😢 I wonder why he left?@@kathleenp3135

[@jaynegaston55]

ghost of Benjamin

[@tonyranzini4958]

Can't wait to see you in Chicago tonight!!

[@DallyFaut]

"I love a good kislux because it helps me decide if I want to buy the real thing or NOT." That part right there. That's IT. I feel like people stigmatize dupes but for me, I pause on large purchases that are trendy or when I feel the overconsumption mania setting in FOR ME. (It's something I struggle with LOL! I'm easily convinced to buy things I don't wear or use. They'll literally have the tags and I'll even forget I bought something and have 2 or 3 of them in my closet.) Love this video!

[@gabagoolenjoyerr]

This show is my news.

[@jb7720]

37:46 legit was wondering when he was gonna bring this up and how much longer he can keep doing the pod above all the same stories 😂😂😂

[@classifiedocs]

Petition to have a second Pizza hut episode with Ray Kump.

[@jaynegaston55]

They can do it outside the crumbling memorial of a Pizza Hut building in my county.

[@rubydefelice3034]

The sound of Tims fake notes tapping while he re-organizes them while having a theoretical debate with liberals seeeeennnnds me to the moon and back 😂😂

[@julieterrell1973]

I dont even need a job but im bout ro send my resume to my dream job... just for shyts and giggs😂

[@cooltroop2]

Tim was really on fire this episode. Hilarious and true. Thank you for entertaining us, Tim. 🙏

[@leratyukankina8819]

"7,000 birkins in the tunnel" 😂

[@elvisman2000]

Tremendous episode, by far my favorite.

[@briangallagher3106]

I did t even realise he did live podcasts. Excellent

[@NathanWiki]

not live, pre recorded

[@Blinker485]

Ya definitely recorded. Just a "live" premiere.

[@manicmondaypodcast8008]

Also, one of the reasons ODs are down in my opinion is cause fentanyl sucks. As someone who used to be a full blown heroin addict. Once fent started being mixed with Heroin, me along with most people I know started getting clean. I can almost guarantee, without any hesitation that if the old stuff was around I would have relapsed many times. But knowing all there is out there is fentanyl, I have zero interest. The high from it sucks.

[@danithedime]

i thought fent was way more potent?? why is fent worse? just curious.

[@manicmondaypodcast8008]

@ it’s a completely different high. Especially when your doing intravenously, traditional opiates, Original black tar or china white was a super calm relaxed warm feeling. Fent was more like a Xanax feeling mixed with a little opiates, it’s hard to explain but their different highs and fent is a gross uncomfortable high.

[@manicmondaypodcast8008]

@@danithedime but yeah when dealing with weight of it fent is much more potent but it feels a lot different than a regular opiate

[@Eaglemadhatter]

I know I have zero desire to go risk my life for a short lived crap high. #bringbackthetar

[@EiGhTyNi9e]

I voted for Donald Trump today in NC

[@Mitth.Raw.Nurudo]

🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

[@EiGhTyNi9e]

@@Mitth.Raw.Nurudo 🇺🇸

[@mariosharks]

That's strange. he is a pdf file who was good friends with Epstein. I guess everyone likes what they like.

[@adamgardener8624]

I like when Tim taps the papers on the desk

[@JAllDay22]

Tim not wearing the worst polo shirt you can find is throwing me off lol

[@johnwalker2073]

Tim is seriously the best no one could have a bad day listening to this 😂

[@dylan_bartel4]

Thank you Tim. I needed this today.

[@kaitlinbrowell8903]

This episode split my side, dying at the Abercrombie and fitch story!

[@scootr777]

If Tim does a segment on peanut the squirrel next week our brains will then be able to see the fourth dimension! GO NUTS!!!!!!!!

[@BrianNineTails]

Its an Object Nga that's nuts!

[@MicDude108]

"She's not thrilled in the tunnel. Not at all. I WOULDN'T be thrilled in the tunnel either." LOL Tim is Rant Champ

[@mikeblxde4735]

Tim needs to leverage his homosexuality into a DEI political position for all the piggies, he will be our leader

[@BrianNineTails]

But will Vamce kiss the boy? This is part of my platform as to whether or not I'll support government or fgtry