Player BRAGS About Ruining Game || D&D Stories

HAHA I RUINED YOUR GAME AM I FUNNY YET?
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[@CritCrab]

Check out World Anvil! ⬇️ www.worldanvil.com/critcrab

[@FreedomAndPeaceOnly]

Some people are the reasons we have condoms. So that they are never even born.

[@battel_bruser3928]

hey might i ask the outro song?

[@MiseryMemory]

It's an amazing tool, however it offers only subscription models while offering no big payment purchase option, effectively locking you into that feeling of "i HAVE to use it cause i paid for it" every month. it puts a time table on your hobby more or less :(

[@vortega472]

Loves me some World Anvil for my D&D game - going to start to transition a book I've been working on and the universe I've built around it.

[@Sandul666]

Inkarnate is a tool i use with this, combined my players are already blown away at the level of detail and it has streamlined world building

[@petrusspinelli6661]

now i can finally say... "are ya winning, mom?"

[@CritCrab]

Mom: "with a son like you, always have been"

[@andohakrasi-sarpong2129]

@@CritCrab surprisingly wholesome

[@medude420024]

@@andohakrasi-sarpong2129 CritCrab is always wholesome. It's the stories that aren't always wholesome lol

[@whitelonewolf146]

@@CritCrab that, That actually made me awww.

[@Nildread]

But are they bi-winning?

[@battyrae1398]

the gamer mom group handled that exactly like how they should have. no nonsense, you're out. you hear so many stories abt this sort of behaviour escalating. its good to see one where the group is proactive.

[@Cell287]

Karen got knocked out

[@FrostTurnip]

@@Cell287 she shouldn't have assaulted a kid.

[@jetvulcan2020]

@@FrostTurnip she got punched by op then arrested by the police she called for assaulting a kid.

[@FrostTurnip]

@@jetvulcan2020 her grabbing the kid by the arm almost off the ground was the assault l.

[@jetvulcan2020]

@@FrostTurnip I know sorry If it wasn't clear in my post. its what justified the punch as op is defending the child.

[@VadBlackwood]

"Hey remember how I stomped on your beautiful sandcastle? BTW why don't you build these anymore when I'm around?"

[@JannPoo]

This is somewhat similar to that other story with the DM obsessed with cursed magical items. "Hey remember how in the past sessions every time you equipped a magical item you suffered curses so terrible you had to reroll characters? That was a lot of fun! BTW why are you ignoring all magical items now?"

[@runikvarze6191]

"Stop getting mad over a game!" Oh, don't worry. I fully plan on doing exactly that! That's why I'm not playing with you anymore.

[@primeemperor9196]

"I wanna play a homophobic rapist!" Homophobia and rape have no place in my game. Rape is not "fun," and hating someone because of their sexual orientation is wrong. You can have flaws as a character, but that is overstepping my comfort zone as a DM. "Let me play the character I wanna play, bro!" The character you wanna play crosses lines I as a DM am uncomfortable with. I will not allow a player to put me and other players in an uncomfortable situation because you wanna treat serious topics in real life as a joke. "Fine! Then I'll ruin your game!" If you're going to get angry because I won't allow you to overstep my boundaries, then you're not welcome at my table. You can either leave or learn to be an adult.

[@belafeldbusch3397]

Well said

[@thisstatementisfalsenothin5312]

I tried to make a character sexist once because I was having trouble coming up with a bad flaw for my character to try and overcome (one of the party members was a woman) I couldn’t figure out how to make a sexist character though so I had to do something else

[@jdprettynails]

I've played a racist character before. I thought it would be an interesting story arc for her where she befriends the dwarf in the party over time, confronts her own biases about dwarves and grows as a person. But I never went full on hate crime with it.

[@belafeldbusch3397]

@@jdprettynails that is something different, as you put these flawes into your character, because you wanted to make them overcome it. you didnt use it as an excuse for hatecrimes (as you said) or for raping someone

[@jdprettynails]

@@belafeldbusch3397 Yeah, every campaign we always do a session zero where we each voice anything we don't want to see crop up. My fiancé always insists on "No rape ever." Because it makes him uncomfortable (naturally). The DM agrees and another hard line for our group is suicide or self harm. The only exception to this was when we played Curse of Strahd and the DM warned us ahead of time that the story can get pretty dark in places, so should those subjects crop up...he'll tell us before hand so we can leave the room and grab a coffee. That's always worked out well for us.

[@Nazo-kage]

A Karen showing up in a D&D horror story and get shut down with the cops she called her self.....neat. As for the guy that likes to ruin campaigns I got to say if he is openly bragging to the DM themselves about how they enjoyed ruining their hard work then they obviously don’t have the awareness to take a serious talking too...well seriously.

[@tomlynmathewsjr7514]

Or even worse, they are FULL,Y aware of how horrible it is and just don't care. Game's aren't meant to be taken seriously, and if you do, you're a baby who deserves to be ridiculed for pouring ours of your life into a deeply interesting fantasy world.

[@grave2501]

those guys probably have never DM´d a homebrew campaign themselves, otherwise they would know how much time it takes and what work it is to put up a homebrew campaign, and would probably be much more respectful. more probable they are just dickheads who think it´s cool to derail a DM´s work and think it´s a sport and they need to score. if they allready had DMing experience, they would be just A-Holes knowing what they are ruining,

[@Nazo-kage]

Tomlyn Mathews Jr but neither should you go the other way. D&D looks like a lot of work not just for the DM, but for the players. there’s a lot to keep track of. (if done well) And so it’s very disrespectful to everyone involved if you don’t take the game a little seriously. That would be like playing Monopoly and because you’re bored, three hours in you grab the board yell earthquake and flip it scattering everything. Yeah it’s a game but it’s a game that they put time in that’s just being disrespectful.

[@Nildread]

The guy in the second one reminds me of etienne

[@ScreamsGeo]

That guy that brags about ruining campaigns is just begging to have DMs kill his PCs and brag about it later. Maybe he'll get it then, or at least stop bragging about it.

[@tek2095]

5:22 It's also called "Schodinger's Douchebag", and yes I've also seen it used to backpedal racist comments as well.

[@chukyuniqul]

To be fair there are some really funny racist jokes that people will take hard. One I particularly love is "Today's world is so PC! You can't even say black paint anymore, now it's all "tyrone, would you please paint that wall?"". Now you might, as a sensible person, see that the joke has racism as a theme, but the punch-line is a good ol' bait and switch and the only person it implies bad things about is the pov teller inside the joke because he's cartoonishly racist. But many groups might get pissy nevertheless, like making racism into a joke (which it is, just like racists themselves) is somehow not what you're supposed to do. Okay, I'll get off my soapbox

[@Cell287]

Chuky Uniqul well said and imma use that joke, I love the word play.

[@3XHS]

Chuky Uniqul As a person who doesn’t like Racist Jokes, the reason I don’t like them is because these jokes can make casual racism seem more legitimate. I don’t want to be rude or aggressive with this comment, just wanted to get across my point of view.

[@5amura115]

What do you call the flinstones if they're black?

[@chukyuniqul]

@@3XHS TL;DR-I don't believe casual racism is a thing or should be a thing, racism is racism and nitpicking on things with a concept of casual racism is a slippery slope. What does casual racism mean? That you're usually fair and open-minded but on the weekends you think KKK might not have been the absolute worst? Racism is racism, and no one is ever cartoonishly racist unless they're really fucking angry. Even then, it might just be because they're trying to hurt the other person as much as possible. Besides, where do you draw the line between "casual racism" and actual racial differences? You're not about to tell me I should start feeling offended when I go to an Indian and the waiter tells me I might want to try something less spicy, since I'm white and we are objectively more receptive to capsaicin, therefore we can't eat as hot as honestly everyone from the middle east? Should black people be incensed that they are advised to have a somewhat leaner diet because theirr bodies are worse at metabolizing certtain kinds of fats? Are we really gonna call researchers racist for not developing medication for subgroups of people who distrust them and don't really offer a sample for them to work on, just because their medicine works only on people they had samples for? I could go on, but I think my point is clear-if we subcategorize racism, it can be twisted to justify any form of outrage. And I don't know about you, but that's not a world I wanna live in.

[@lostbutfreesoul]

Or the third, and worse, option: They pat themselves on their back for being so good at ruining the game, and rub it into O.P.'s face all the harder.

[@csmead209]

It is what I would do.

[@TheAzCorner]

Dishonorable discharge, friend no more

[@kittyelf1485]

I’m wondering if that’s not why he didn’t say anything, so the guy wouldn’t be a bigger jackass about it. I just wonder why he hangs out with him at all.

[@TheAzCorner]

@@kittyelf1485 best not to assume the worst, but be ready for it all the same

[@Mekora]

I've found that people like this need to be handled like an unexploded bomb. Sometimes it's just safer to avoid them.

[@moh.syafrianabie8899]

Alternate title: chad mom vs ho karen

[@maxxam4665]

I snorted so loud reading this comment

[@vallaby2042]

I thought it schould be Virgin karen but then I remembered...

[@PancakemonsterFO4]

*Cartmans Mom

[@anidiotplayslivestream5206]

First story: ... I would have changed *almost* nothing. Game Mom did this one pretty damn well, not gonna lie. The only thing I'd personally have done different is press charges on the guy for whipping it out and pissing on the car. Also, let's give the DM some credit for having enough spine for telling the That Guy to fuck off - too many DMs in these stories either allow the problem to continue well beyond the point of reason, or are the problem themselves. Good on this DM for being on the ball. Second story: are you fucking kidding me? But but but... HOW? How is it possible to take pride in ruining something for somebody else? Sure, I've had my players ruin stuff in my game before. Yes, one of them was bad enough about it that I more-or-less removed them from the game. But I can also say with relative certainty that they weren't doing it on purpose. Don't blame this guy at all for not running games with them anymore - I sure wouldn't.

[@HighPriestFuneral]

Were I to guess, it may have been because of what the kid did to her car that likely ended up getting any kind of charges that his mom had wanted, reversed.

[@antonioscendrategattico2302]

I mean, considering the massive hassle that filing a lawsuit is, I can understand why some shrieking goblin pissing on your car might not be worth it. If he'd done something worse, or had shown that he could be an actual threat, that would definitely be reasonable, but just for that? You wouldn't even get the satisfaction of actually getting him any kind of substantial punishment.

[@DoktahDoktah]

People who laugh as they tear down others things are just jealous that they couldn't do something similar.

[@kcollier2192]

The Psychology of D&D: "Nothing reveals the real You better than pretending to be someone else". Congrats to OP1 and better luck to OP2.

[@DogMason]

Me playing a kobold with multiple personality disorder. :l

[@lizzy532]

God, ain't that the fucking truth. *Looks at the conveyer belt of characters I've made that have had a facet of my personality*

[@ODST626]

Me. Playing a drunk. Irl me doesn't drink.

[@fritzyfritzyfritzyfritzy]

me playing a character yearning to see their childhood best friend and realising oh shit i have a crush on them 👀

[@kendaris5410]

That moment a game mom Crit succes in fist fight. BEST MOM EVER.

[@nukiradio]

Toriel intensifies

[@zerotohero884]

@@nukiradio *Trow Slug* Look this slug *Make a Slug-Pie*

[@adamnakamura8003]

I made a “Detect evil and divine smite” joke on one of crit crab’s other videos, but this is literally the second half of that joke.

[@sadvec6328]

- First OP - Early Forties - Game mom - Could easily be any of the player's mother - Makes them cookies - Make someone comfy after a bad day Noriaki Kakyoin: Yeah, this one right here

[@zer0_meow]

I was trying to go to bed, but this is fine

[@hagstik]

East coast I see. Also fine.

[@thomascollins5622]

You sleep?

[@birb125]

You try?

[@mr.whitehat5911]

Same

[@eareandilthemariner9361]

Me too, I’m from Texas, it’s 11:47

[@dekucake4395]

Friend, shooting op in the head: *laughs and gloats about ruining op's campaign* Also friend: "why don't you dm our games anymore?"

[@litigation_jackson]

Who killed Hannibal?

[@9liveslie-cat-lie129]

I wouldn't call the first story a horror story. I would call it a truiphment story cause good was truiphment over evil.

[@gentlemanbear]

Yep! Only it's *triumphant

[@9liveslie-cat-lie129]

@@gentlemanbear that as well

[@paradiso123]

Plot Twist: Both of these That Guy's were the same person!

[@andrewfreshwater1843]

2nd Plot twist: It was actually Critcrab in disguise all the time...

[@cheatcode436]

@@andrewfreshwater1843 3rd Plot Twist: It was actually his evil twin (Barc Tirc)

[@ChurchAtNight]

Um as soon as he says rapist he’s gone wtf

[@catsrcool1106]

Yeah seriously, why did he think anyone would let hims stay?

[@lailasabaazila97]

I completely agree, but I listened to enough pnp stories here on YT, that I am 100% sure there are groups out there, that are completely okay with that kind of stuff.

[@motymurm]

You can definitely plays as jerks and evil characters without ruining plot and your group's mood

[@aegisScale]

@@motymurm but certainly not in the way THAT guy was planning.

[@b.vaegler6983]

@@aegisScale that's exactly what he implied captain obvious

[@vertigowl]

Wheres the peanut, Crab. Where is he?!

[@CritCrab]

🤫

[@xdwindy504]

@@CritCrab I will find Peanut

[@peterlane7128]

#savepeanut

[@-carbonunit3594]

What peanut? What am I missing?

[@peterlane7128]

@@-carbonunit3594 watch the previous episode with DavyChappy

[@DAsrada]

I was running a game - my first time doing so - and I set up a plot twist well in advance, using a lot of foreshadowing, that the DMPC Ordin (a spunky nice Lawful Good Paladin) had more issues than he let on, and that few things in the homebrew set up were as they appeared to be. Culminating in the big moment - Ordin is broken by the princess he loved turning out to be in love with the traitorous knight who kidnapped her, his best friend turning out to be the traitorous knight in disguise who desperately wanted Ordin to turn against the Kingdom, and the king he served turning out to be a tyrant and he broke his oaths killing the king, losing his powers. Then Ordin becomes the Big Bad Evil Guy Yctrax, Demon God of Destruction, whose presence in the future warped reality and brought the heroes there in the first place! ... ... That Guy who'd been shipping his anime catgirl with Ordin did not take kindly to that development.

[@Cell287]

And the cat girl player shouldn’t ship in these types of games

[@diegodankquixote-wry3242]

I don't care at all that some pc was shipping there Catgirl oc with a character. Why did the guy turn in a demon god? Did he use his intense rage and will power alone allow him to channel the demonic volcanic baboon god into him? Was he inside of Ordin the whole time like that one thot in Diablo 3?

[@DAsrada]

@@diegodankquixote-wry3242 basically there was a Demon God before but all that was left of him was a really nasty leyline running through his old stomping grounds - his energy left behind after his body was destroyed. Ordin tapped into this and became Yctrax, whose presence retroactively brought the heroes there and empowered their various enemies.

[@DAsrada]

@@Cell287 yeah, and even more than that, he tried to continue on even when Ordin was obviously the Big Bad going forward. Even tried to outright betray the party to side with Ordin, even when that would involve his ultimate goal - destroying everything - coming true. The other players were getting very angry with how That Guy was acting OOC and IC, and I did not know how to handle it.

[@nataliealphonse4634]

Ah yes, the ole reverse Cecil from FF4 trick

[@XaviusNight]

You go, Gamer Mom, you're one of the best.

[@flame3942]

I litteratly started clapping when i heard "And thats the story of how i punched a gamer's mom and got her arrested by the cops she had summoned" shoulda been titled "rpg mom decks another mom"

[@TheMightyPatapon]

Always be kind to your fellow players and DM's and make sure everyone is having a good time. ...Also, be kind to crabs, unless they are of the coconut variety. Those'll eat your cat.

[@WarmLusamine]

*sad Crabominable noises*

[@bloodgodsprophet3047]

That's actually true...i hate it

[@kittyelf1485]

Things I didn’t want to know for $500 Alex. Boy am I glad I live where’s there is nice, tame nature and that my cat is indoor only, just in case.

[@TheMightyPatapon]

@Nospam Spamisham You are absolutely correct. I have just seen them eating said dead cats before. I just think they look horrifying : P. That said, I believe they were an endangered species, so be at least neutral to coconut crabs.

[@Mokiefraggle]

Coconut crabs are also said to be delicious, as all that coconut means they're literally loaded with coconut oil and taste of it as a result. Like coconut shrimp, but without the extra work of dredging them in shredded coconut before cooking. :3

[@dudeist_priest]

Never a good time when the wizard is using a grapple.

[@connorjohnson8590]

LOL

[@Zombiewithabowtie]

Tenser's Transformation is niche, but has it's moments.

[@ODST626]

Heh little did the know the wizard has 20 strength

[@thenailsageofgeo4975]

I’ve never actually played DND, and don’t really have anyone to do it with (might look into it in a few years, but for now most friends my age seem to enjoy the more joking type of the game.) So I really appreciate these videos, as they let me feel like I’m a bit a part of the action, and I get to hear the good and the bad! Thanks for the continuous supply of amazing content, and thanks to all those who comment on Crit’s discord too

[@Chatedh]

You may try to play on discord, it has been pretty fun for me.

[@MsLucho1998]

You can always give roll20 a chance, I found my current online group there and they are a really dope bunch.

[@MsLucho1998]

@R3d D0t on the search list I saw a lot of other tabletop games on it, so you could try finding what you wanna play there.

[@firebladeentertainment5739]

same answer as the other ones, you can play it over discord and i highly recommend it. my group sadly is full and i dont think they would be too happy about a stranger from YT where i didnt even confirm the age (its an adult campaign)

[@lailasabaazila97]

I don't know how old you are, but you just have to find the right group for yourself and not worry about the age ;) I have run a Shadowrun campaign for a group of 9 players, all 45+ years old and therefore nearly double my own age at the time. It was intended as dark and a little depressing, but turned into hilarious laughing fits by all of us because of all the shenanigans by all of them. It is still one of my favourite campaign memories to this day. (Even if I never intend to gm for a group that big ever again...) But you see, age has nothing to do with the seriousness of a group. :D

[@kendrickrochelanzot2053]

The second guy is me... my playets literally agreed on trashing my campaign Went from the goblin crusaders to the adventures of notgoblin and buggy bear: the search for the fabled table

[@newbienoah9461]

Thing is that you all probably consented, *He* didn't.

[@kendrickrochelanzot2053]

@@newbienoah9461 i didnt consent at all

[@newbienoah9461]

@@kendrickrochelanzot2053 Oh. Sorry for assuming.

[@kendrickrochelanzot2053]

@@newbienoah9461 its fine

[@DrPluton]

I think the detailing of the campaign could have been avoided by noticing the ventriloquist bard and idiot barbarian would go against the themes of the campaign during session zero.

[@Mokiefraggle]

I don't think that everyone uses session zero to full-on create their PCs. Most people I've known only use it to lay out the setting (or create the setting, if you do it by committee like my group sometimes does), get the group invested in it, and maybe break down who's going to play tank or heals, or something like that. Just as often, by the end of session zero, we might get as far as saying "Hey, I think I'll play the Cleric this time!", but we're just expected to have our PCs rolled up and ready by first session. The only time our DM might call us on something is if we come to the table with a ridiculous stat-set or something (like, a 22 in a primary stat at level 1, when we use 3d6 and reroll 1s as our stat determination method), but if it's a character behavior thing, it wouldn't play out until the game got rolling.

[@jeffmayo6002]

I played idiots before they can be a welcome sight in a serious game. The whole party can haggle for a room and meal but the dumb half orc shouting you take 3 gold or I eat three toes will get the job done

[@AtodaK]

Game Mom for the win. Shadowbanning trolls? I'm fine with that. Maybe a talk with the troll player would have helped him, but if he was boasting about how much fun it was derailing a game the DM had worked on for a year then I can't blame the OP for not bothering to sit down with him. Treat your DMs with respect. Treat your other players with respect. Treat any spectators who may, or may not, actually be the player/DM/owner of the home you're visiting with respect.

[@links-gut-versifftergrunme1809]

*Treat anyone with respect who didn't proved of not deserving it.

[@carolinebarto8553]

Oh that second story gave me flashbacks to when I had one player say TO MY FACE as I was DMing that ‘it is my personal mission to destroy the DM’s plans in campaigns.’

[@TrueHavoc13]

Doctor: scumbag meme crab doesn't exist. It can't hurt you. Scumbag meme crab: 9:44

[@thenailsageofgeo4975]

Last time I was this early, CritCrab was still moving in sudden bursts of speed instead of this constant smooth way

[@milkjug4237]

When I was this early, he still used Neverwinter gameplay for his videos and had 14k subscribers. I remember that, it was only seven months ago.

[@xdwindy504]

This sounds like that DM from the story where she relished in TPK'ing the party

[@xedalpha1]

Game mom is best mom and possibly the most wholesome thing I’ve heard today.

[@Joostmhw]

As a person with bad social skills these videos are so anxiety inducing as I keep thinking I'm like the people talked about. My group assured me I'm not, but it still scares me sometimes

[@Calredic]

You’re not, because if you were like these people you wouldn’t worry about it. You’d just be an unapologetic asshole like they are.

[@mandykarevicius9746]

I was pretty much the "Snuggly Mom" in our World of Warcraft raid group. Helped many of them with their bills, rent and ordered them pizzas across the country. All the while teaching new players how to be excellent healers in our guild and giving them gold to buy in-game items. I often wonder how they're doing, ten years later.

[@alyssinclair8598]

that is so adorable. I hope one day I can help peeps like that

[@johnathonhyer9550]

Seriously, thank you. I had a similar guild mom, who without I'd probably still not understand taxes, letter heading, and probably have went hungry a handful of times.

[@geneclark4657]

given the extra details 2nd op put in his post, I dont think even talking with his players would have fixed the problem. It would be one thing if they if they had done it out of ignorance of the effort he put in, but they didn't; they did it out of assholeish spite of his work. you shouldn't have to 'talk' someone into being a decent human being.

[@WineRedEchos]

problem guy in the first story sounds like a dude I know from my mmo friends who used to be a "mythic raider" in wow and shits on literally every other game because of it. even though he hates wow.

[@conit4125]

Everyone I've met who plays too much of one game will talk about how much they hate that game.

[@nicholaspeters9919]

Yeah, I once had a roomate that constantly raged at that Siege game for whatever reason. He was ex-military, so I think he was being nit-picky for some part of it, the rest was accusing people he thought were cheating. Apparently the neighbors could hear him, but that’s a completely different saga.

[@chukyuniqul]

@@conit4125 idk man, I hate wow even though I've never played it. I also loveguild wars 2 and I'm reaching into the 1000s of hours for it and I don't hate league either which I've been playing for nigh-on 10 years (with breaks in-between, granted, but still).

[@D13G0Z]

Normal people:Who see's d&d horror storys at 1:30AM? Me: *OH boi critcrab made a video!*

[@biggerkahunas2398]

I'll take "Things that never happened" for 500 Alex.

[@alyssinclair8598]

meh. when it comes to random stories online it might as well all be fiction. still fun to read

[@jakeand9020]

These are honestly more believable than most of the virtue signalling Reddit stories you get. First one is definitely exaggerated, but hard to really say not true. I've seen a Karen mom mom do what " that guy's" mother did (minus the getting punched part) and get arrested for their trouble, which seems to be the part most people have the hardest time believing.

[@biggerkahunas2398]

@@jakeand9020 Idk about other people, but I feel like inviting strangers to your house is always a horrible idea. Like I want to be super comfortable knowing the people that either come to me or I go to them. People are just crazy and unpredictable

[@MannyBrum]

"Why don't you run D&D anymore?" "What do you mean? I do." mic drop

[@jesseproebstel2835]

As a player who plays for story I appreciate when the dm keeps troublesome players away

[@pumpkinhead7466]

Is anybody else about to go to sleep but a critcrab video releases and you just gotta watch it??

[@debatablemonkey9506]

Honestly @CritCrab thnx for doing these narrations I really love listening to other ppls dnd sessions

[@c0dexc0re71]

Straight up kinda wish second OP had just told their 'friend', "I do, you're just not invited." It's harsh but like...

[@micahjones1451]

I honestly can't see the first story being real. At least I hope not.

[@juniperrodley9843]

Neither can I. It's *very* tropey.

[@aosleosbus6737]

Therapist: Gucci crab doesn’t exist, he can’t hurt you Gucci crab:EpIc TrOll

[@FrigidWayfarer]

I'm addicted to this man's videos, thanks man I listen to these at work.... particularly when I shouldn't...oh well I love these vids

[@hexdoingthings]

As someone who's used World Anvil on and off over the past year or so, if you have literally any need for a worldbuilding tool T R Y W O R L D A N V I L IMO World Anvil, even if you're just using the free version, is the best worldbuilding tool you'll ever find. Also, "Schrödinger 's asshole" is great and i'm definitely using that term in the future.

[@TheAdarkerglow]

Just when you thought your opinion of the first guy couldn't get any lower... his mom shows up and calls the police. Then gets knocked out and arrested. Expectations Subverted. 10/10.

[@ocinidolegna]

Why was the first story so wholesome, despite the problem player? everyone else was so kind and helpful. id love to know people like them. it seems like such a nice environment 🥺

[@ocinidolegna]

I hope to be a game mom when i grow up

[@key6955]

I love listening to your videos because i can finally fall asleep

[@clydewill2340]

I honestly have no idea why someone would WANT to play as a rapist in a game like DnD. It genuinely concerns me since some people use this game as a way to play out particular fantasies. Out of all the ways you can customize and flavor your character, from stealthy ninjas and swashbuckling pirates to silly knights and musical priests, why on earth would you want to play as a rapist of any sort?

[@justinsanchez8693]

I can understand if someone wants to be an evil character (Sometimes it can be fun to play a villain), which is why evil campaigns are a thing, but that doesn't justify the first player. Heck, why would someone opt into being a rapist over a powerful necromancer, an evil king, or a bloody assassin?

[@XxTaiMTxX]

This particular player, in my estimation, is doing this for a single simple reason. They are gay and not out of the closet yet. "I'm going to kill homosexuals! That proves I'm not gay!" "I'm going to rape women! See! I want to bang women! I'm not gay!" Or, you have the more disturbing option for the person... They are angry at women for not wanting to date them, and probably had a weird religious upbringing about homosexuality of which they feel some weird desire to prove their faith by having to kill homosexuals at every opportunity. This is the more disturbing options because most people like this tend to end up murdering people... or committing particularly heinous crimes.

[@clydewill2340]

@@XxTaiMTxX an interesting take, and I think those could also be a possibility, though i think the most likely explanation would be that he's in a particularly edge-lordy phase of growing up. Like he wants any kind of attention, and being a rapist is deplorable enough to get him the amount of attention he wanted, but ultimately not the kind of attention he was looking for. Otherwise i dont think he would have announced it like he did as he took the "look at the horrible no good very bad kind of person I want to play guys!" approach pretty much immediately.

[@XxTaiMTxX]

@@clydewill2340 I took the announcement of it to be a "I dare you to do something about it" type action of the particularly entitled. It is very likely that he's used to his mother bullying people into doing what he wants. He's not being "edgelord" at all in such an instance. He is, instead, a terrible person, his mother enables and smooths over every incident, and likely will continue to do so until her "darling baby" gets into severe real trouble.

[@clydewill2340]

@@XxTaiMTxX oh yeah, I forgot about his mother intervening. That's probably the most likely cause then, which hopefully his mom getting put in her place opened his eyes a little bit (I think she got punched iirc).

[@azzarox6661]

First story: I feel like it's probably fake, but "I'm calling the cops on you" then assaulting the people you called the cops on is the biggest brain 300iq move. Second story: Big yikes. I agree with you, OP should have talked to them. And if they got defensive drop 'em.

[@if7723]

I mean, I've seen someone call the cops on someone and then start trying to smash windows of the house they called the cops on so it doesn't seem too far out there.

[@azzarox6661]

@@if7723 That's not the only thing that makes the story feel fake for me. But I agree that that sort of thing CAN happen.

[@NEETKitten]

Said this in a different thread, but the first story seems like it's true, with some parts blatantly exaggerated for probably brownie points. I've had That Guy in my group before, and he did a lot of shit Game Mom detailed, but never to those extremes.

[@kegmonkey5648]

What is language comprehension? The karen who got punched called the cops, not the one who punched her.

[@MrBanarium]

This is the most wholesome group of people I have ever heard of. Everybody should seek to be more like them. ♥

[@Nob911]

How does this guy not have 1 mil subs already And kudos for punching a Karen and getting her arrested

[@peterlane7128]

Bro its bedtime, but I'm legally obligated to watch your vids as they come out, help a brother out

[@Gashnaw]

I would not play with people who would purposely ruin the campaign . I allow banter and even allow dead ale wives quotes. But as long as it does not ruin the game.

[@nataliaperez678]

Gamer mom and his gamer family sounds like a super delightful group and I would love to see more of them (in better circumstances of course)

[@Psykolord1989]

"Schrodinger's asshole" is now part of my lexicon, thanks Critcrab!

[@nerderiffic8682]

Holy shit OP in the first story is genuinely amazing. They deserve an award or something omfg

[@damianblack]

Maybe a hugo award for best internet generated fiction...if it were even slightly beliveable...

[@daviserhart7497]

the 2 dislikes are the kid and his mom.

[@xherdos400]

Nice a CritCrab video on 6:35A.M you saved my morning :)

[@Signal_Lost.]

I just wanted to say that you deserve way more subscribers and I hope you're doing all right in the real world.

[@hisho2255]

I do not belive this first story even for a second.

[@Gellidus]

Frist story seems too R/Thathappened for me.

[@juniperrodley9843]

Absolutely.

[@bmfg100]

"schrodingers asshole" I love it

[@brunodemathe4102]

Listening to this kind of stories makes me feel so lucky that my players are so wholesome and invested in my campaigns and the only "asshole" in the sessions is me by saying things like "oh, you guys haven't made notes about this NPC? That's too bad..."

[@TheScaredLittleScholar]

Rule number one of playing D&D- Never compare someone else’s campaign to a preexisting piece of media.

[@carsonsugden9807]

I spent 2 weeks, 5 hours a day, making a unique universe on World Anvil only for my team to start their own campaign.... No regretti, mom's spaghetti

[@raistlarn]

Keep working on it, because eventually you might have a group that'll play through it. Or worse comes to worse you could lift those thing you were making and incorporate them into a different campaign.

[@carsonsugden9807]

@@morinomajou hahahaha that's the most hopeful response I've ever seen. You just made my day

[@shadowman21282]

I love you Game Mum! So good to see groups like that out there.

[@Dragoon601]

Reminds me of when my friend’s brother and her brother’s friend talking about the time that her brother’s friend didn’t like how the DM they played with wouldn’t let him do whatever he wanted, so he made miniature figures in game and had the PCs play D&D in game. The DM tried his best to get the game going again but the players decide to continue playing “a new game” in game. The DM eventually quit after 10 minutes of failing to get the group organized. The friend then started to take over as DM and they truly thought that it was the funniest thing he did.

[@andrewthegeek6522]

The first one sounds like fiction so does the second I doubt either of these ever occurred

[@Commandant_Aeon]

I agree for the first, the second however I've had similar experiences so I can't dismiss it x)

[@kimarous]

8:03 Every hook you place / gently or chuck straight / I'm ignoring you...

[@tatumfowler3603]

Man, 'game mom' is just such a wholesome thing to call someone.

[@mungus4246]

Anybody else feel like the first story is "and then everybody stood up and clapped" sort of story?

[@Darkrazer91]

Totally

[@nicholaskosmides4936]

Hey CritCrab, I have an borderline insane D&D story that I would to share to your channel. It's not a horror story in the literal scene but it might as well have been one. Is there a way I can send my story to you?

[@ayajade6683]

The reddit page in the description r/critcrab or the discord

[@honq8792]

You should probably post it on his reddit r/critcrab

[@nicholaskosmides4936]

Oh, as a matter fact I think I will. Thanks

[@stepheningratta3856]

**angry gamer stabs another player** “What you guys can’t take a joke?”

[@thecharmer5981]

She failed her concentration check after getting punched, which is why the cops turned against her

[@Fanthrose]

W...why have I watched five straight videos of a talking crab? How did this even even show up in my recommended, and why am I enjoying the stories so much? Oh yea, cause it reminds me of when Spoony's Counter Monkey series, and I loved those vids.

[@gaming_with_twins6305]

....Was the mom of the problem player...a Karen?!

[@DePhoegonIsle]

what blows my mind is ... why the homophobic comments when a younger dude is leaning against an older lady? Like .. seriously, just ... wow... I get wanting to play a 'taboo' villian role, but.. damn, that's kinda not ... ok to do that and I'm pretty sure I've earned about that entitled kid & parent some where.

[@SamLabbato]

bruh, my crab out here with an actual sponsor. I'm so proud of our little crustacean. Moving up in the world

[@NotAHologram]

Toriel and Bruno Bucciarati to that mom: Welcome to the badass’ moms, gal

[@miguelvega4888]

Late night pog

[@CritCrab]

Crab pog moment!

[@animatedwolf5873]

Something about this seems realllllly fishy. What is an adult woman doing with nearly ~15 kids during doing DnD? Second, the snuggly player was staged in such a way that he seemed almost entirely way too innocent and perfect, victim to the maximum. Third, the new character was so borderline satanic that it was nigh-comical. I also found it a little unusual that all the new kid's mother did was yank on a kid, and then OP DECKED her in the face and for some reason the cops arrested the other woman and not the one who ASSAULTED THE OTHER MOM. I get that self-defense was a thing, but nobody was threatened with their lives and it seems really extreme for something you could just restrain her or push her out of the house, not deck her in the face. Cops are way too black-and-white to just let a mother deck someone in the face for grabbing a kid without at least filing a warning or going through court for deliberation first. Also, 'a borderline homophobic comment' toward what was a male kid leaning against a mother's shoulder? What? This even adds more insane extremism to the new kid's behavior. ALSO, WHO INVITED THIS KID?? WHO LET HIM IN??

[@BericD]

"Battery is a crime and also the basis for a lawsuit as a civil wrong if there is damage. A battery is any: a. Willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another; or b. Actual, intentional and unlawful touching or striking of another person against the will of the other; or c. Unlawfully and intentionally causing bodily harm to an individual. " definitions.uslegal.com/b/battery/ The kid's mom committed battery (specifically example b) to the child she grabbed first. After that OP punching her to protect the child could easily be ruled self defense since self defense doesn't just mean protecting yourself but also others from harm or threat. When you then factor in the earlier behavior from her child and the kid's mom showing up uninvited to a strangers house and committing battery on said property it's pretty open and shut, the mom would get arrested and OP would simply get their statement taken.

[@animatedwolf5873]

Self-defense is defined as the right to prevent suffering force or violence through the use of a sufficient level of counteracting force or violence. Src: criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-law-basics/self-defense-overview.html#:~:text=Self%2Ddefense%20is%20defined%20as,of%20counteracting%20force%20or%20violence. You know what, you taught me something. I legitimately believed self defense was ONLY applicable if you felt like you were about to immediately lose your life. Whoopsies. Regardless, who the hell invited this kid over?

[@BericD]

@@animatedwolf5873 Yeah seriously who the hell did invite that kid over? There had to have been red flags of the kid's behavior prior to this. In a case that actually goes to trial self defense can be a little more murky depending on circumstances though. You have to have only used appropriate force (which often can be up to the jury to decide if it was appropriate) and often you'll have to prove you couldn't have reasonably removed yourself from that situation without using force, again depending on circrumtances. Of course that's only if the incident goes to trial, which most don't they just take a plea-bargain since a trial can be even worse if they lose. But during an arrest cops typically go with "yeah, person A seemed to start it so arrest person A, take person B's and any other witnesses statements and let the courts deal with the rest."

[@Mokiefraggle]

Considering that the story 1 OP said she's in her 40s, not that she *is* 40, and she mentions that the "snuggly player" is now at a better job than before, and the "cleric player" is her regular pet-sitter, implying ease of transportation and such, and the new guy was around 18-20, I don't think there's actual "kids" in this game. I'm pretty sure they're at minimum 18, especially given all the talk at the start about helping them with cover letters and such. Like, I know kids as young as 15 can apply for jobs (I've worked with several), but most of them aren't exactly the sort who are concerned about putting together a good resume, but are rather just out there to get their first job. I imagine it's much more likely that this is a group of 18-20+ folks, it's just that she's probably at least 20 years older than most of them, which puts her well into the "adult even to adults" level. She's wiser and more experienced, and possibly more willing to help them out than their actual family might be, for all we know. She also mentioned that her son is involved in the group, which might be how they came to find out about the group and join up. Also, I've known lots of people like the "snuggly player," who want physical comfort/contact when upset, and/or are very non-confrontational and wouldn't want to start a fight when they're there for a game. And in this day and age, I wouldn't put a "Hey, what are you, gay?" comment past even a not-psycho-just-kinda-dudebro guy, for seeing another guy who is actively seeking out hugs. So even that seems to check out.

[@rexmastersins9349]

Old enough to smoke, but not old enough to drink? I had to really think about this, because it makes no sense in most parts of the world :D

[@nplt8263]

The "don't mess with my kids" line melted my heart

[@darklord884]

I don't know. The first story's "That Guy" sounds so over-the-top evil and cartoonishly dickish that I have a slight doubt about the legitimacy of that whole tale. It could very well be true and if so, that game mom rules and I'm really happy for the whole group. Especially the part where instead of beating That Guy up or calling the cops, they turned on the sprinklers to chase him away. Nice thinking. I'm just not entirely sure. Grain of salt as it were, considering the platform.

[@boianko]

It sounds like a "and then they clapped story" so fucking much. Like the only thing missing was the guy being described as liking anime and being smelly/sweaty.

[@darklord884]

@@boianko I'm not sure. I did and do unfortunately know people like this, so it's not totally unbelievable, but I'm not even sure how this guy could've gotten together with them in the first place. Especially without being informed of or forgetting who the other players would be. At least that's the only way I can understand the granny comment.

[@kittyelf1485]

Yeah, I wasn’t convinced either. Well, in the beginning I kind of bought it, til the creepy brat’s mommy and the cops showed up. Maybe I just wanted to believe cause I don’t know any other women around my age that game anymore.

[@darklord884]

@@kittyelf1485 If it's any comfort, I know people like That Guy who just act like assholes for the sake of being assholes. One of them even pissed in the corner of my room when we were in summercamp together in high school. So this story absolutely could be true. I just have my doubts about it. But don't let that dissuade you. There are surely great people out there at that age who still play.

[@connorjohnson8590]

I get the feeling parts of it are definately exagerated...except for maybe the peeing on the car thing. That one seems within the realm of possibility while being pretty orginal. Maybe not so much about the mom coming back and getting arrested though.

[@15oClock]

Jokes aren't funny when you are the punchline. Not your flaws or a stupid moment, just you. Why do people not get that?

[@Dramoklos]

narcissism basically

[@hrolfbjornson6666]

I have a golden rule when I DM. "No rape allowed." Even in my darker campaigns where something like that CAN happen it's never something that players are aloud to do. Only evil villains do that and only to NPCs if I have it at all. (Which I think I did once on a Goblin Slayer themed campaign)

[@ultimateninjaboi]

Props to game mom for calling out the fact that "cant you take a joke," is basically gaslighting

[@adief7325]

I'd say the first story is fake

[@RaphaelRavenwing]

Idk, the first one kind of strains credulity just a little. I mean he did everything but eat a live kitten.

[@jayreese8522]

See, I would've said that was a weird story, but people have done worse shit. I can believe it.

[@Michaeljack81sk]

Yeah, while there are people like that out there this guy just seemed to tick every single box, then drew a couple more just so he could tick those too

[@NoESanity]

@Chris Manaloe I was waiting for "everyone clapped" it kind of happened, but those words themselves are a meme on their own at this point.

[@phabiorules]

I also find it kind of weird how the DM knows enough that this guy is looking for a group, but not that he is completely insane. I mean, it's not impossible, but it is slim.

[@NoESanity]

@@phabiorules that's actually not that uncommon. many DM's and GM's will have a card or sheet at their local game stores when looking for players. before the "15 day" lock down my local shop would hold a monthly "find a group" day where dm's and ungrouped players would do something like speed dating to try and fill slots and get people games. sometimes people are super cool when you're searching and only later turn into assholes. I once had a kid, like 16, who was great for the first like 5 sessions, then he just went off on one of my other players about something stupid (Iirc, apparently she didn't wave to him at Walmart) and even after telling him that behavior would not be accepted again he just kept becoming more of an asshole, like he wouldn't break the same rule twice but first it was fighting, then it was eating the diabetic players emergency snacks, screaming meme phrases like"German guy did nothing wrong" and "9/11 was an inside job" when he rolled his dice, then finally he showed up to a session late and we think drunk which was a super big deal since many of us were adults so an intoxicated minor was a major flag. so i had to remove him from the table. but again for the first 5 sessions or so he was literally the ideal player.

[@pantheggon4008]

I think I saw this in Urban Dictionary "Schrödinger's Douchebag: A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him."

[@pantheggon4008]

God damn it he explained this right after I pressed play again

[@bloodmooncomics2249]

I had a group to had to deal with a guy who flat out said he thinks the most fun was derailing campaigns. He saw it as a personal victory and always smiled when he got a session to be pushed back by a week or two because he derailed it so bad.

[@WhyYouMadBoi]

"I'm their mother figure that plays D&D with them and help them with their adulting skills" Oh yeah this is all coming together.

[@thegreysoul1149]

Not even one minute out and someone already disliked it? Their determination, or programming skills with bot accounts, are pretty good.

[@CritCrab]

The enemies of crabkind are many

[@ayajade6683]

It's someone with a shellfish allergy or a bot with a shellfish fear

[@crashedwin]

So my first and only D&D group is awesome. Ive only been with them about a year now, but they have been pretty great. We all do our best to mix it up, we talk things out, and we are pretty dope overall. We have our issues, we try to work them out. there will definitely be more down the road, but we all want the same thing out of our campaigns, and the places where we vary help to push each other and keep it interesting. If I could change anything I would love to play a campaign with a somewhat harsher DM. maybe when it's my turn to step to the plate I'll talk to them about a game with a bit more ice in it. More environmental challenges, and a bit less mercy. We'll see.

[@grahamlee884]

Me: has 5 minutes left of computer time CritCrab: you are no