PUA Says Men and Women CANNOT Be Friends

This video is as insulting to men as it is to women. It feels like the manosphere is growing and I am genuinely quite concerned- but for different reasons than Nick.
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[@karligilbert2991]

My college friend once said "women aren't gumball machines where you put friendship in and sex comes out"

[@kfkkfk7995]

@@jdt3594 sure Jan

[@SydneySutterKolinkBattler]

Yo, that one should be used more often.

[@anib8863]

@@jdt3594 That sounds like r*pe.

[@jdt3594]

@@anib8863 no I meant they’ll let you still have sex with them if you’re a certain type of guy

[@anib8863]

@@jdt3594 It depends on the girl.

[@iamslf]

i despise the term “simp”. i’m like, dude, let me be friends with ppl just to be friends 🥲

[@josephperkins4080]

Word👍👍👍

[@els1f]

I agree so much! The word drives me nuts😒

[@Butterflier00]

i remember when it was called "being wipped" like....people have been shaming men for loving and liking women for decades...

[@jazzb3371]

@@Butterflier00 Which is so weird because if you want to be with a woman, aren't you supposed to like them?

[@NunYaBiz1313]

@@jazzb3371 if you're a high valued man, you have sex with them and then we can figure out if were guna be friends with benefits or not.

[@hmneill]

“Women know they are attracted to you immediately” Meanwhile i never feel attraction unless an emotional bond is created. So, no.

[@WarriorDragonKD]

( *insert hype music* ) wait, demiromantic or demisexual, possibly both?

[@Butterflier00]

WOOT. DEMI-GANG.

[@kamilliasaylor1000]

Right? Personally, I can be immediately attracted to someone, but it is also possible for that attraction to grow or shrink as I get to know them. Find out a hot guy is a Trump supporter? Suddenly can't see why I was into him. Sexy lady is anti choice? Now she's not so sexy lol. And the other way around: marginally attractive person consistently does awesome things? He's actually kinda hot now that I think of it. Attraction is so complex and nuanced, and I hate when dudes like this strip it of all that awesomeness.

[@2031976vikrant]

Ayyy, I’m an aroace. Woot, woot!

[@mywingsareyours]

I'm a bit half and half. I can feel attraction to some right off and sometimes it's not until I have a connection idk

[@jadeterrain4771]

I’m constantly simping for my women friends. And by simping I mean loving and respecting without expecting a romantic or sexual relationship in return. It’s a lot of fun actually.

[@MissCaraMint]

Yes it turns out that men are very fun to hang out with when they treat you as fellow human beings.

[@kfkkfk7995]

@@MissCaraMint yeah, it's almost as if women and men weren't that different

[@kfkkfk7995]

@@gamercatsz5441 if you think the life experience of a woman is the same as that of any other woman, you haven't thought your opinion through.

[@thesparkster]

I guess the meaning of SIMP changed or maybe the MRA/InCels changed its meaning by posting definitions on online databases. It's not really flattering for the woman, because it's acronym stands for a Sucker Idolizing Mediocre P***y. While they use it to mean that a guy is too attentive and submissive to a woman, it's really far beyond that, because it implies that the woman is not that great in the first place--which makes this effort even more pathetic.

[@lynnes1864]

@@thesparkster yeah but to them mediocre is just any woman who won't have sex with them, so that's all women.

[@lulu_9000]

So in sum, men and women can't be friends because women have the audacity to expect friendship.

[@lomicwind]

The audacity of those females ;-p

[@vaunsinrin7897]

I grew up with both misogynistic and racist family members. I'm 30 now and it wasn't until I was 25 that I realized how messed up I was and that's why my relationships would always go bad. I was the problem, maybe not entirely at times, but my behavior and mindset made it hard for me to understand other's perspectives. But since I've had those realizations I have a healthy relationship with my partner of almost 5 years.

[@wb8695]

Please share your story and journey with other men and boys, there's a clear need for a mind shift and no matter how women talk about these issues it's just easier to receive from a fellow man

[@bobbimke82]

Sounds pretty pussy-whipped, 'eh? When she snaps her fingers and commands "Jump", how many times do you jump and how high?

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

Im glad you were able to recognize that pattern. I was also raised in a misogynistic and racist household (though it was more covert) and have been trying to break out of that. Definitely not the easiest thing but its my job to.

[@junkabella6324]

I am so happy for you OP! :)

[@jennifer7685]

Huzzah! Self reflection is always rewarding! To many more years, William!

[@mindylee2591]

As a woman, I obviously befriend all the males I can to soak in the power of value. 🤫😂

[@Li8aGun92]

I do it because I need constant validation from men, because without it I die.

[@Li8aGun92]

@One Guy Named Ivan yea, it really doesn't. It just feels good.

[@hannerikruger7216]

Excuse me as my hoard of orbiters carry me around above their heads chanting my name through the mall where they will all buy me food.

[@bobbimke82]

["to soak in the power of value."] =====> Or maybe soak in the cash flow of free this-n-that, 'eh?

[@visaman]

@@Li8aGun92 Do you have an Onlyfans account?

[@zoesalamahill]

I remember in college a friend of a friend told me that he had a crush on his classmate and was befriending her to convince her to date him. I straight-up told him that it wasn't a good idea because she is a PERSON and PEOPLE usually don't like to be lulled into a false sense of security to then have the rug pulled from under them when their "friend" tries to turn the relationship sexual, and I suggested that he be upfront with his feelings for a better chance of success. He said no, he thinks his is a great idea! But what do I know? I'm just another woman who has many women and femme friends and we all talk about how shitty that tactic is. Also, when we first met I thought he was cute. I was interested in dating him until he said that crap. I wonder how many other potential dates he has scared away?

[@lucyla9947]

When it comes to this kind of things, I believe that it's good to get to know the person before confessing, but definitely don't try to become really close friends first. Just talk to them for a bit and become acquaintances then ask because when some random person who you know nothing about asks you to date them, that's just weird.

[@Slatersan42]

@Ashley’s Animation kingdom I'm gonna take a wild guess and say "Or." lol

[@ClayWeblogistics]

This guy is afraid of rejection you are acting as a true friend! Instead he thinks this "safe" idea will work and this kind of guy (I may have been him for a while) is smarter than that, and then is surprised when the straight forward guy swoops right in and takes the place he wanted. The saddest part of this story he had moved himself (if he ever was) out of the center on his life and put her in the center. His emotional investment now after this long time is huge and wants to turn into something that never will. He may spend frustrating years in this position before he moves on.

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

@@ClayWeblogistics and thats his choice. If you want to k ow how "get" a woman you should ask women. Im sympathetic to men who are frustrated with being single but a lot of guys like youve described become absolute dicks when you bring up the issues with their tactics. If hes frustrated after doing this to so many women then thats on him.

[@vicu_negru]

my way of scaring potential dates away was by just not noticing "the clues"... i was so clueless... at one point a girl in college actually said to me: "hey, what are you doing tomorrow evening? wanna go out for drinks" and I was like "sure, whole else is coming?" she goes "just me" and I go "oh, then i`ll make some calls to see whom we can get to come with us"... only when I see the confusion in her eyes I understood what was going on... ps: I am really not social awkward, do go out, was dating, am getting married (after 12 years of living together) put god damn I was clueless and that is just one of many examples

[@kelly-annmaddox]

'Fellas, is it gay to have lunch with a woman?' 🤣

[@jamestheawsome100]

I’d have lunch with anyone, I love food. (I’m straight)

[@cuttlesquish6723]

Hands down my favorite quote of the video

[@artemsmirnov1134]

it's not gay if two women or less are involved

[@darlalathan6143]

Only if you are a woman, lol!

[@DrummerGhisi]

@@jamestheawsome100 idk man, kinda sus

[@pinkpincol]

Someone: "you can't be friends with someone of the gender your attracted to" Me a bi person: "guess I'll have no friends then"

[@falcoperegrinus82]

The gender part is fine for me. When it's the individual I'm attracted to, then things get much more difficult.

[@KreeZafi]

You know, I find it interesting that people don't have the same skepticism towards gay people having same-sex friends. If I had a lesbian friend I wouldn't be constantly hearing "she just wants to sleep with you" like people say about my male friends. Funny how that works.

[@chaosqueen7644]

Me, an ace person: "everyone is my friend now"

[@paulogaspar8295]

I always hear this argument and if you actually use your brain for 10 seconds you can understand how it applies to bi people. If you are attracted to certain types of people (doesn't matter what are they) it's impossible to be very close friends with them and one side not want more than friendship. For example you can be bi but if you are attracted to tall skinny dudes that are smart and you have a best friend that is a tall skinny smart dude you will eventually think about "what if I dated him?". That will eventually happend. When people say men and women are impossible to be friends with it's based on the majority of people, which are hetero and that like each other sex/gender. It also implies that people have similar ages for examples. A 19 year old man can be friends with a old lady because he is most likely not into her physically or emotionally. This statements have some implications with them of course, but if you where not disingenuous you would understand them. You can't have any argument without making some implications and have some exceptions, doesn't mean the argument for the majority is wrong.

[@joem6622]

@@paulogaspar8295 thank you I appreciate some logic in the comments which is hard to find I hate when they bring the “I am a lesbian so I guess the argument isn’t valid” we are talking about heterosexual dynamic not homosexual And even in that case that they wouldn’t be friends if one of them has attraction for other person

[@adriandaniels1]

Wow, imagine being so toxic that you think a woman wanting a genuine friendship with you is some sick way of "using" you.

[@catthestitchwitch1200]

Excuse me, I never received my standard issue Emotional Support Guy and I'd like to file for compensation.

[@hannerikruger7216]

I'm also enraged? I have no Food Guy? I'm sitting here, being female, with no food?

[@TheDevilsbard]

I think JG Wentworth can help: 877-Simp-Now. 😂

[@catthestitchwitch1200]

If we get enough of us together can we file a class action suit? 😂

[@MsCorica]

Don't bother. I've got the standard "entire hoard of manipulative, sorry, manipulat*ed* orbiters" package and until now they've been entirely useless. No one wants to grant me expensive gifts, drive me around or - god forbid - give me some of that sweet, sweet value. And the refund takes for ever! Just how am I supposed to live like this?!

[@stianl6035]

As a gay guy, also upset I haven't been issued one. XD

[@goodoldmat4085]

The straightest thing to do is to hang out with the bros and avoid contact with all women. Like even visual contact. Huddle up into a cuddle with the guys till you merge into a singularity of bois. Yup, I think that's his point.

[@zaharu4375]

lol

[@hiigguys7395]

There was this man who approached me at a coffee shop, we started talking about shared interests and we exchanged numbers. We went on one date but realized while we had no real romantic interest, we really enjoyed each other's company. Then, we proceeded to go on these "friend dates" once a week for years, where we'd go out to lunch and just talk. We did end up having sex once but decided afterwards that while it was fun, we still had no romantic feelings. He was the one to bring up not wanting to do it again despite still wanting to be friends, and I fully agreed. I guess these incels would think I'm a really bad lay? Or maybe, is it because I now have been used? But somehow, I must still have value to this man because for some reason, he still wants to be around me? He was a bridesman at my wedding and is really good friends with my husband now too. Also, *gasp* my husband knows we slept together once. What a fucking plot twist that we all get along.

[@twiggledowntown3564]

That's really good, that you guys managed to stay friends after all this. Also, I hope your wedding was fantastic!

[@hiigguys7395]

​@@twiggledowntown3564 The wedding was great! Thank you.

[@Luubelaar]

Bridesman. That is an excellent term. Right up there with the girl who was a "dudesmaid" for her friend, the groom.

[@rayjaymor8754]

Incels will spin whatever story works for them. Women will only be interested in non-gamer dudes who are awesome providers and are insanely good looking. And yet, here I am, definitely a gamer, I'm absolutely not at all rich; and the only way someone is comparing me to Ryan Reynolds is that we both have four limbs - and yet I've been happily married for years. *shrugs*

[@markprice5651]

No, these "incels" would tell you they were right in that at some point you and that "friend" were going to have sex.

[@yaninajenkins7667]

You made me laugh so much. My husband was listening too and he was loving your take on this guy. Congratulations on 3k!!!

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

Thank you!!

[@Dwonis]

And now congratulations on the 4k!!!

[@cakecinema9385]

@@EmmaThorneVideos wow, 3K to over 12K in THREE months. Congrats! (Edited as I commented this on the day you hit 12K and I didn’t realise because I’m dumb)

[@icravedeath.1200]

@@EmmaThorneVideos I have troubles with emotional connections, due to my autism, which means I have probably, little to no chance of getting hitched, but even I can see rancid bullshit like this, somebody should tell him to shut the fuck up and realize it's actually better to not expect anything in return!

[@hannerikruger7216]

She has 17k now!!!!!

[@rulerofflapjacks6838]

"women instantly know when they're attracted to you" Me a clueless lesbian: God I wish, this would make everything much less confusing lol

[@jordanrayne4779]

Same

[@ogliara6473]

Seconded

[@greek_geekgirl1326]

Me an equally clueless Demisexual : well damn wouldn’t that be nice 😂

[@snooganslestat2030]

@@greek_geekgirl1326 Haha exactly. Also demi. So what is this instant attraction?! 😉

[@Bloomingtide]

Clueless Bi here, so saaaame :D

[@lexiekuhn2861]

I’m bisexual and I have just learned I can’t have any friends because I obviously am trying to sleep with them.

[@pablobratcat]

This had so much "who hurt you, hun?" energy

[@nitehawk86]

Probably himself out of stupidity.

[@djwikkid]

I think I am realizing these guys are talking about a specific "type" of woman - one who uses toxic masculinity to her advantage. I've dated this "type" of woman before, one who would pit me against other men, try to provoke me, will take advantage of other men.. The word I use to describe her is "abusive". I wish these guys would stop putting out "advice" on how to further toxic masculinity and instead talk about how to treat women as human beings. Unfortunately, I think some guys (a lot of guys?) are looking for advice on how to gain control of the situation - which is why they dehumanize women. This does not excuse them of course. I just found your channel and I love your analysis of these videos. I also love how your advice boils down to "listen to your female friends". I tried that advice in high school and it has been invaluable to me ever since.

[@TheGin31029]

Very true. And if you try to tell these guys that "not all women are like that", they'll say that's an invalid argument because it's just anecdotal, not statistical. (I was married to one of these guys, so I've heard it all.)

[@paulsmart4672]

What if you really hit it off with this girl... there's immediate chemistry. She's fun to hang out with and you make each other laugh and she has partially overlapping interests with you so you can "talk shop" on some stuff and explain to each other about related, cool things that the other person didn't really know about with other stuff. Also, it's been a bad year and her advice and encouragement has been really helpful in getting through some really bad days. And she's really very pretty. And she's explained to you that she's ace and she can't be sexually attracted to you or anyone else and there is no possible scenario where sex happens. And I should what? Throw this extremely important and rewarding relationship away because of the one thing I'm not getting out of it? I guess it's never occurred to these doofuses that the women who are "using" them for emotional support and validation... that can go the other way. This person who tells you about her life and her problems without sleeping with you, you can flip it and tell her about your life and problems without sleeping with her. Even if you *would* like to sleep with her, you can still do that. You can get the same thing out of the relationship that she's getting. Two people can support each other without having sex. I guess its the toxic masculinity thing you were talking about with douchy guys being trained to think they can't have any kind of intimacy outside of sex.

[@WhichDoctor1]

Yeah they see talking about your feelings with literally anyone as such a beta move. Doing it with a woman practically makes you gay all by itself. Emotional intimacy is something that holds zero value to them because they've never experienced it. So when women do it with them it just makes them confused and they have to look for some transactional motive as to why it's happening.

[@MissCaraMint]

Yes. I love making a point of celebrating platonic love on valentines day as I really do have a deep emotional connection and you know love for my friends regardless of sex or gender. They are there to support me and I'm there to support them. It bothers me that platonic love often is depicted as secondary to romantic love.

[@Arlesmon]

I recently had a blast with a certain girl, we got chemistry and we like to talk about stuff and we are pretty good friends. But the thing is, she doesn't find me sexually attractive, or so it seems. And she only seems me as a brother. TO a certain point, it devastated me because I did want to be her boyfriends, but she considers me a great friends. Part of me appreciates this and will keep supporting her, but other part of me is disapointed and would like for her to reconsider, but I can't force her, she has her reasons. I don't know how to feel personally.

[@paulsmart4672]

@@Arlesmon It's an emotionally fraught dynamic to have, but I think as long as you're being honest that things are not 100% platonic on your end, and as long as that's okay, it's worth it.

[@Arlesmon]

@@paulsmart4672 I'll let her know that. Hopefully we can still be good friends, because I do like talking with her.

[@greenbeanb]

“women know they are attracted to you immediately” *Nervous demi laughing*

[@saniwa655]

Add: *panicked greysexual panromantic eyes darting around and sweating*

[@thesupremeoverlordofice121]

*uncontrollable Asexual lesbian laughter*

[@BubbleBunnyy]

Same like I only like someone if they are good to me and then it takes a really really long time to trust them with my body.

[@alyzu4755]

Huh. I'm 51 years old, and have friends who are men that I've known for over 30 years. I guess we've all been misguided for decades. Thank you, 20-something incel, for opening my eyes. 🙄

[@hannerikruger7216]

No you just wait... You're stringing them along... You just don't know about it

[@alyzu4755]

@@hannerikruger7216 🤣❤️

[@user-do2ev2hr7h]

I'm honestly convinced that a huge part of the reason why so many are in the manosphere are so miserable and toxic is that they've classed so many normal types of relationship/social interaction as unacceptable for some reason. I'd be lonely too if I did that.

[@LizzieBelina]

The red pill thought process that there must be value and an equivocal exchange in relationships as if every friendship/relationship is a fucking business transaction. I want to scream into the void for a thousand years.

[@Li8aGun92]

Every time a man says "men can't be friends with women", it says so much more about the man who said that than all men. I'd be like k I'm out, don't even wanna talk to you lol.

[@vicu_negru]

best thing a boy/man can do is be have a "gang" friends of the girl/woman "persuasion"! god damn you learn a lot! due to external circumstances I was always surrounded by girls in my teens, by chance I was always in a class with 20+ girls and 5-7 boys. Man, that really helped me understand girls/women. And best thing for that age was that girls make the best wingman! They hook you up so easy!

[@Li8aGun92]

@@vicu_negru lol good for you

[@KreeZafi]

A man not having any female friends is a huge red flag

[@localvega688]

@@KreeZafi This is very true. If no other women want to be a part of his circle, there's a story there. 🤔

[@rowantritton8659]

I feel sorry for this guy's friends, who he's been stringing along for all these years without letting them sleep with him :(

[@ThakYuki]

My (I'm female) closest friend is a male. We first started talking because we had similar interests and liked each other, but we decided not to date. Years later, we've reached the point of sharing essentially every little detail of our lives, sharing adult content, and down to the sex we've had with our partners. He's now married to a lovely lady, and I'm over here enjoying the single life.

[@katherine6181]

that's really wholesome

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

This is the stuff! ❤ Some of the friends that I talk to daily, share emotional stuff with and love on a really deep level are male or AMAB and this notion that we can't be friends is just???

[@WhichDoctor1]

One of my closest friends for years now has been a girl I met on a dating app. We went on a few dates but it didn't work out. I was too reserved for her and her life was to manic and chaotic for me (also she's 100% heterosexual and I turned out to be transfeminine, neither of us knew that at the time but it probably had something to do with it 😉). Anyway, we stayed friends and she helped me enormously with my confidence. Encouraging me to try new things. Coaching me through a panic attack over the phone the first time I took the train alone to visit her. And so much more. And She said talking to me was like an island of calm and peace in her crazy life. We can talk about anything, our romantic and sexual endeavours, other friends, mental health issues, philosophy, history, anything. She's wonderful and I'm soo glad to have her in my life.

[@muctusca5017]

@@WhichDoctor1 omg that’s so wholesome your story just made my day, also happy pride month❤️

[@jdt3594]

Boo boo, a broken clock is right twice a day. Just because you have a simp as a friend, it doesn’t mean most men that have female friends aren’t just trying to find a way into their pants Edit: Fixing autocorrect blunder

[@anaionescu8913]

One of my best friends is a guy. We've NEVER had any romantic feelings for each other and he genuinely feels like an older brother to me. These assholes have never treated women like humans, so they invalidate other people's joy in having pure friendships

[@VibingMeike]

Yeah same, I have two good friends who are guys lol

[@icravedeath.1200]

Aww.

[@icravedeath.1200]

@@VibingMeike yay

[@SH-vo5je]

I lost all of my male friends (And I don't have any female) because I got a boyfriend and it turns out they just wanted to use me so because now I am no longer single they don't want to be around. If I continued to be single they'd all still be around, hoping, even though you tell them it ain't going to happen

[@HappyHyperHuggieNini]

Girl, I can related! I lost my best friend of so many years....because he started dating my cousin. He didn't 'need' me anymore and didn't need to 'seek my happiness'

[@SH-vo5je]

@@HappyHyperHuggieNini It happens far too often yet it's us that's made out to be the one in a friendship for gain by these nasty guys :(

[@jamesy3851]

You're better off without them. A long time ago, and not long enough, I used to be like that. I'm ashamed of it. I've grown, I'm in a happy, healthy marriage, etc. My point is: men need to be called out for shit like this. It's unfathomable that, as a society, we still have men behaving like petulant little boys. The real epidemic for men, not what he says, is toxic masculinity. Believe me, you are better off without them and one day you'll meet people who actually understand how to be friends.

[@carlavandermeer9732]

Been there. It hurts and it's disappointing to realize that the only reason they were hanging around was in the hopes of sex. I felt disgusted and used and had a hard time trusting people for a while after.

[@SH-vo5je]

@@carlavandermeer9732 I still have a hard time and I'm essentially living without friends now. I've never been able to become friends with women so I had no other option really. I grew up on video games and isolated in my room so I literally grew up around guys and didn't have the opportunity to develop friendships with my own sex and now as an adult I physically can't.

[@Bringon-dw8dx]

My ex is my absolute best friend in the whole world- why is that so wrong :’) Not everyone ends their relationship because of some huge, dramatic break up with cheating and burning of the entire relationship

[@emilyw1001]

Rarely

[@MsCorica]

Yeah, same. My ex and I are on great terms and we still hang out a lot and support each other. Why completely ban him from my life simply because we just don't work out as a couple?

[@Bringon-dw8dx]

@Emily Shors completely depends. Within my friendship group we are friends with 90% of our ex’s

[@Bringon-dw8dx]

@Mumphley exactly!

[@Firedeath25]

Same, one of my ex's is my best friend

[@paper.trailing]

GOD FORBID ENJOYING A PERSON'S COMPANY WITHOUT WANTING THEM TO PUT THEIR DANGLY BITS IN YA.

[@kellycowley3535]

This guy is such a hypocrit, "Oh I used and only be friends with women for sex but when they don't have sex with me they are only using me for 'validation'." He implies that sex is expected in any friendship he has with a women which is both ridiculous and disgusting. And then they wonder why women would prefer to hang out with a 'chad', like maybe it's because chad will actually act like a proper friend and not use them for sex.

[@GamingintheAM0801]

Reminds me of an old xkcd comic where a guy talks about his plan to "win over" his lady friend through years of good behavior so that she'll one day "realize" he's the right one and start dating him. The comic ends with the girl saying, "No thanks I'll just date this random jerk instead." The message of the comic was intended to be "women date the guy who's honest about his intentions." Yeah, that burly jock asshole is only using her for sex, but at least he wears that on his sleeve. And of course, plenty of incels misread the message of the comic and act like the "nice guy" is the victim. 🙄

[@GamingintheAM0801]

@Sting 02 I never said it was ideal. But if your choices are between "guy who uses you for sex" and "guy who uses you for sex but pretends he isn't," which is the better option? The point of the comic isn't to advocate for abusive relationships; it's to illustrate why the "Nice Guy" mentality IS an abusive relationship.

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

I also saw someone explain that being friends with an abusive "chad" can be more appealing because ypu know upfront what youre getting into. Men like this pretend to be friends for sex.

[@KreeZafi]

Exactly, HE has never had a female friend who he didn't want to have sex with, that seems to be where this is all coming from!

[@dimiex2972]

Jdj

[@Faerie_Kim]

Lesbian perspective: I'm attracted to a lot of my female friends. But friendship is not a consolation prize. I love being friends with beautiful women. I don't need it to be sexual just because I am also attracted to them. Friendship is just as valuable, probably more valuable.

[@Kagomai15]

Also, you can be attracted to your friends and still just stay friends with them?? There doesn't *have* to be any romantic or sexual development, and there doesn't *have* to be any drama either.

[@giraffe7604]

Why does my brain insist on mixing up the acronyms PUA and MUA on a daily basis

[@elwduecentonove6080]

No worries, I straight up cyclically forget what they mean and have to think about it over and over again

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

I kept reading it as POS initially

[@anaionescu8913]

Exactly. They sound way too similar

[@flyingskyward2153]

@Tara Allen MUA is a brand of cosmetics, I think it comes from Make-Up Academy, it can also mean Make-Up Artist. PUA is Pick Up Artist.

[@ekat1]

I wish I could pretend to be shocked or surprised by this dude - but as someone who spends a ridiculous number of hours a week playing a VERY male dominated online game (World of Warcraft) this guy is actually pretty mild compared to what I've encountered. I HAVE to be in voice with men when I raid and boy oh boy has so much of this been normalized amongst the online gaming community. I hate that the internet is such a vaccuum, and the more people like him watch videos like the one he made, the more like it will be recommended to him, and the more normalized this will become. puuuuuke

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

I was into online gaming when I was a kid- but the amount of toxicity you get when the community finds out you're a woman absolutely ruined it for me, I got so much anxiety from it! I'm only just getting into playing online games with friend groups again, otherwise I just play single player for that reason ):

[@emilyw1001]

I think they saw doms in the bdsm community and only took away the dominant part not the respect your partner physically mentally emotionally part.

[@artsdragons2779]

I used to play WoW (my then boyfriend, now husband got me into it). I found that while I enjoyed raiding and loved endgame content (circa BC and WOTLK), I could not do so in groups that required voice channels. The entire atmosphere would change from “we’re all having fun enjoying the Arthas storyline while killing mobs” to toxic masculinity and female-degrading humor. I don’t play any MMOs or online cooperative games anymore.

[@icravedeath.1200]

@@artsdragons2779 I faced a similar problem on games like that, being emotionally open, autistic and gay.

[@mnomadvfx]

@@EmmaThorneVideos "I was into online gaming when I was a kid- but the amount of toxicity you get when the community finds out you're a woman absolutely ruined it for me" Ironically I played SWTOR for years and only got invited into a group twice. Groups are generally just not the way to go unless you already know them from outside the gaming world. Which of course means that I played through most of an MMO entirely on my own 😅, they really don't make it easy for you to do that.

[@tempesttossed6029]

I find it very funny that these guys say logic is not emotional and emotion is never logical. They clearly don't know there's a thing called emotional intellegence, which is a very important part of successful people of all job descriptions.

[@TawnyGryn]

Sounds smart but is it??

[@tempesttossed6029]

@@TawnyGryn emotional intelligence? yes, it's hard to grasp for a lot of people, therefore it takes skill.

[@tiptoes9847]

@@TawnyGryn Yup! Social intelligence (emotional one) plays a huge role in the animals kingdom. Dolphins are considered highly intelligent because of their social skills due to their empathy.

[@TheBaldapap]

I tried being friends with females when I was younger and all that ended up happening was me having a handful of treasured relationships that I foster to this day, and honestly it sucks because I just wanted to have grotty sex behind some bins.

[@annajoy3323]

The “guys, is it gay to [do normal human thing]?” genre of sentiment drives me up a wall for its sexism and homophobia.

[@vainpiers]

I'm a woman and my best friend is a man, I am a lesbian but still we're good friends and it's 100% platonic.

[@visaman]

You are his Gay Best Friend, LOL!

[@palindont9238]

I definitely seek validation from people who creep me out. The same way I go to the butcher to file my taxes.

[@impishinformation7237]

The whole “just ask” thing is totally accurate and, from personally experience, pays off way more than just waiting around.

[@martaelisa4417]

I want "citation needed" merch.

[@nitehawk86]

I think Tom Scott sells it :P

[@HappyHyperHuggieNini]

"Women like a constant stream of validation." Only if they are like me and suffer from terrible low self esteem because of past trauma. And even then, I just like to know if I can have feelings about things...not too hard honestly.

[@davelewis8270]

Sorry to hear that, mate. I struggle with this a lot too.

[@twiggledowntown3564]

(Virtual hug).

[@icravedeath.1200]

You need big hugs.

[@victorialascola5593]

The amount of times I said “ew” at what he was saying is alarming. I’ve never said it so many times. 😂 you are hands down my new favorite youtuber Emma!!!!

[@kaiabehm9458]

In highschool i was friends with this guy and then he said he was interested and i just kinda ignored it bc it was over text and he was a good friend and i didnt like him that way so i just kept being friends and then he accused me of doing this... and being friends w him for validation...

[@VibingMeike]

I suppose you aren't friends with him anymore?

[@kaiabehm9458]

@@VibingMeike i mean it was like 8 years ago so no haha

[@VibingMeike]

@@kaiabehm9458 Oh okay haha

[@Satchiidesu]

Imagine being nice to people in general, with no alternative motive

[@stevenh2535]

Great video and thank you! Unfortunately, I went through a period a while back where I was watching the content from the manosphere and I just felt like a miserable person. I distanced myself from that garbage and I am much happier now.

[@uniqueLeo08]

I hope he seeks therapy. I also hope the girl he's yearning for is safe from him because his thoughts are not just creepy but dangerous. Date when who are interested in you.

[@niyatipandit7353]

Thanks she is safe now 🙏🏾 honestly girl this is all of Canada.

[@JordyShaye]

Haha! Oh my, I thought he looked familiar and turns out he is 😂 I dodged a bullet for sure.

[@pollyc.1957]

I had to double-take. If he had big, full lips and more chiseled cheeks, he's the spitting image of my boyfriend during the lockdown. 😂 Even the way he's moving his lips and eyebrows is tripping me the f OUT.

[@s0515033]

I think he is confusing women and narcissists or sociopaths. I have a female friend who literally just uses me to complain about her bf. I don't think she is like that because she's a woman. She's just like that. She feeds on "external validation." But that's something all unpleasant people do. Sometimes, I feel like I am not really a friend, but free therapy. No interest in hearing anything about my problems. It's a very 1 way friendship. Like, if I am honest, she doesn't want to hear it lol. She wants me to puppet repeat the lines she wants to hear. Kinda shitty. I had male friends who did literally the same shit. But with girl complaints.

[@fisharepeopletoo9653]

That's just not a good friend and should probably be someone you consider cutting out of your life, or at least having a conversation with to discuss this issue and then consider cutting out of your life depending on the response.

[@Emnms68]

Me, completely clueless to anyone ever being interested in me, assuming any and all flirting is just being nice: oh is my female psychic power broken again? I hate when that happens.

[@miglek9613]

Pickup artists thinking women read minds are why my clueless ass is considered to be a flirt despite the fact I don't even know what the social norms for flirting and dating are. Like, guys start talking to me, we find common interests and shit so I continue the convo just to find out the guy was actually flirting with me and was very obviously trying to impress me. From other people telling me. Then people assume I'm cheating on my current bf with those guys literally because I talked to them

[@saniwa655]

I'm not alone, then. Good to know.

[@barbaral743]

I can't stand guys (or girls) who think if you're in a relationship, you can't talk to anyone else.

[@icravedeath.1200]

I'm a guy, and even I don't get any of this (I'm autistic).

[@icravedeath.1200]

@@saniwa655 no you are not.

[@NickKzig]

So I know this has literally nothing with the content of the video, but I am IN LOVE with your contrast and saturation settings, it looks phenomenal!

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

Thank you! Honestly my kingdom for a proper colour calibrated monitor and grade friendly room, but I make do! ❤

[@infinitusfinitus]

Ahhh that top and glasses combo looks so cute on you. For real, if you're only hoping to date me, don't pretend to be my friend. I've lost count of the number of times this has happened to me. I need more female friends.

[@curiouscomrade8680]

Damn. By this guy’s logic, I can’t be friends with people of any gender.

[@julzbehr6696]

Yeah, same here

[@visaman]

Be like Joker, The Better Bachelor, fix up a bus and live in it alone until it breaks down

[@williamqin5051]

Pangaroos unite :P Or Biguys, who knows :)

[@karkosgiehex]

As a guy who has female friends, yes, there has been that point of introspective 'do I like this person as a person or as a potential partner?' You know what? That's a great time for a conversation. With a friend of the opposite sex. Because you are friends who respect each other and literally do not want to fuck things up either way. Being honest and open is what friends do with each other, right?

[@Sarablueunicorn]

I have two guy friends who actually told me they approached me with no friendship ideas but then saw me with another guy and backed off, meanwhile they already liked my company and talk to me so they wouldn't stop being my friends because of that. One told me there was a period he was really confused about how he was feeling about me, he just genuinely enjoyed spending time with me. They got girlfriend and then would come to me for advice like bday gifts or something. Having friends of the opposite gender has so many advantages.

[@MiadasSchaf]

One of my best friend we met on a dating app and we hadd a few dates before we realised we vibed a lot more as friends and even if I still find her attractive I'm not waiting or expecting sex from her because I value her as a friend and a person with her own wants! It's not that hard and to basically imply that I'm a simp is stupid. She just got in a relationship recently and it made me super happy because I could see and feel her happiness over it just like she would be for me if I got in a relationship as well. The views he expresses are the reason why I can never maintain friendships with guys, I never feel understood or listened too and they cringe whenever I try to be more emotionally honest with them. I've had to fight toxic masculinity in myself already and I do not have the patience or energy to deal with it from someone else. It doesnt help that I was always much more feminine than what is expected (led me to realise I was non-binary which is a wonderful new chapter in my life). It's so sad that even guys who aren't incels tend to share similar beliefs as this guy it makes it so much harder for them and for everyone else too

[@twiggledowntown3564]

I feel this. I remember being in High School, and how some guys always thought every guy had to be in a relationship all the time.

[@twiggledowntown3564]

Needless to say I wish I would've had more confidence to say it's okay to not be in a relationship. You are still valued and loved, even if you aren't in a romantic relationship. Jr High felt so much easier.

[@MiadasSchaf]

@@twiggledowntown3564 honestly yeah our society places so kuch emphasis on the importance of ending in a relationship as the ultimate goal of one's life but not everyone wants/can/care of they end up in a relationship! I think we should be more explicit that you are still as valuable singla as in relationship cause it's your character on not your status that will have an impact on your happiness

[@justinwatson1510]

The more I see straight people interact, the happier I am that I’m gay. My condolences to straight women, you guys have it pretty damned rough.

[@Hildervinge]

This made me laugh out loud 😂 thank you. Wish I was gay too sometimes.

[@MissCaraMint]

The majority of guys are good guys, at least were I live. I could just be lucky with the culture I was raised in.

[@videofan1010]

@@MissCaraMint Where do you live, lol? Don't know many good guys.

[@MissCaraMint]

@@videofan1010 Norway. I suppose I have a certain privilege of growing up there, and with a very accepting family.

[@Tigman401]

Man,are you actually serious? Straight women have it pretty rough 😂😂😂😂 Thanks man,I've had a rough week and that just really cheered me up.

[@tiaqmal4224]

Goddamnit. I was being a hooligan and watching this at work. Deeply regretted that because I was laughing my ass off. This was beautiful. Thank you.

[@sierramielock1570]

Who is really the “emotional one” the person who wants to just be friends or the person who refuses to talk to you again when they find out they’re never going to sleep with you? 🤣

[@Clarytee217]

Women are constantly looking for validation..... I supervise a lot of men and I love working with them but the tendency to want to be admired is definitely strong in them. Also, I'm pan, so I can't have friends then? Or do I just not exist to him? I often wonder what women they picture when they talk this garbage.

[@Clarytee217]

Isn't he sort of demonstrating that he is exactly the type of person he's complaining about?

[@sw9573]

What BS! All of my friends growing up were boys because I was a tomboy. I joke 'became' bisexual because I felt more like a guy hanging around them so much. I ended up dating one of my best friends, a guy, for over seven years. The rest of the gang of guys might have had a crush on me to varying degrees at varying times, but they never let that affect our friendships. They were there for me emotionally when that same best friend and boyfriend left me just so he could entertain the idea of dating other women. And then I began dating and marrying my husband. He'd been part of the group and I actually met him first. He loved me as a friend the vast majority of those years. He's still my best friend. I have very few female friends. So fuck those men and women that claim guys and girls can't have real friendships!

[@s7d788]

"The sexes are... just too different. Men and women can't be friends" Wow that made me feel kinda bad for him. I've had such wonderful male friends in my life and I'm really close to my brother as well. It must be conflicting to be both attracted to women and have such a warped view of them as a group. And it's self-perpetuating too, since he believes what other men tell him, his relationships with women are doomed to be shallow.

[@user-cy8li6xt3s]

One of my best friends is a guy, and we dated for almost a year before we ended it, and now, a year and a half after the breakup, we are better friends now than we ever were. He's going through some rough stuff in his personal life rn, and we go on walks and talk for hours, and it's amazing. There are no more feelings, and its pure. We've got each other, and we're helping each other out with new relationships. We saw each other as more than just romantic interests, we we're friends before, and we're friends now. Idk my point but I friendship is magic I guess

[@SirFlopsy]

In my previous job I had a female colleague that started to flirt with me. Well, sort of. I'm ace, so that could have been pretty uncomfortable, but it was done in a jokingly sort of way so I just kinda naturally responded in the same way, jokingly "flirting" back (euch, I kinda hate that word). And speaking of communication and being clear about intentions, she asked pretty early on if she was making me uncomfortable and explained that she was having fun and wasn't interested in a relationship. I told her the same went for me. Being ace, I never had wanted to flirt before nor had done it, so in a weird way it was kinda fun to do it, knowing that it was "safe"... Meaning, no risk of someone expecting any other kind of relationship than just friendship. She asked me a few more times if it was really ok, but soon it just kinda became our thing and before long the whole team was in on it. It made the job so much more fun. I remember I made a comment responding to something she said once that kinda shocked someone who was my supervisor in the past because it was so unnatural for me to say (don't remember what it was). That moment cracked up the whole team, as well as the former supervisor. Every now and then we would have a team outing at a bar. I was also pretty comfortable with the rest of the team, so after working there for over a year the topic of relationships came up. The alcohol helped, but I felt comfortable enough to tell them I was ace. It's not that big a deal to me, but it's not something you share quickly with colleagues. So there was some curiousity, questions were asked and answered. Some more times after that as well, but only during these team outings, never on the workfloor. I had some pretty deep conversations with her about it, she shared with me some information about a previous bad relationship and that that was the reason she wasn't interested in dating anyone. When I became an uncle she told me she had a nephew that was 2 years old or something like that. Our nephews were a constant topic of conversation as well, sharing stories about baby and toddler shenanigans. To my regret still, I was working there as a temp and while there was a possibility for me to get a permanent contract I had to meet some standards that in the end I was not able to. So my contract wasn't continued. The team made my final day very memorable in a good way though, and this colleague gave me a mug with a picture where she was lying down in a cliche flirty pose with a rose in her teeth. I thought and still think that was/is utterly hilarious. Sadly, even though she is still in my contacts list we don't really communicate anymore. But I will always fondly remember this job for a large part because of her.

[@siximpossiblethings6388]

Nick: "Men and women can't be friends." Me: ... *dial-up noises* ... You know what? I have so many things I would love to say to this individual and his weak mindset, but I'm too tired today. Imma go back to colouring in this drawing and absorbing what Emma has to say on it.

[@siximpossiblethings6388]

Managed to get through the whole thing finally, and oh my gawd, he's so gross. His mindset and his mannerisms. He's a perpetual career victim with no interest in improving himself and he straight up doesn't see women as people. Where's my eject button? I don't want to live on this planet anymore. I'm even more mentally exhausted after finishing this video and trying to follow him as he runs away from his feelings and any decent form of logic.

[@christianjordan3370]

It's such a crazy theory, I was friends with all my girlfriends prior to dating and remained friends even after we went our separate ways. Not all relationships start in a bar and in a war.

[@elwduecentonove6080]

I’d like Emma to be my Emotional Support Guy

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

Here 4 u

[@elwduecentonove6080]

@@EmmaThorneVideos Thank you and same! lmao

[@icravedeath.1200]

Me too (I'm a gay autistic weeb, we have trouble gaining friendships).

[@baronsengir187]

I tried that "Open with you feelings" thing once. Turned out most women i hung out with just wanted to sleep with me and thought i was sending signals. They got really angry.

[@nizo1995]

He really thinks its the straight men complimenting their female friends and not their female friends.

[@tsuritsa3105]

Listening to incels say I can't have real male friends makes me want to introduce them to the men who have been my friends for 20 years, some of whom have been boyfriends and some who never would have been and - novel thought here - didn't want to be! Of course men and women can be friends.

[@tsuritsa3105]

@Sting 02 Or maybe - and think about this for a second - not everyone operates according to how you treat and look at women.

[@Emnms68]

“I don’t need to tack on a few females who are essentially going to lead me on” So which is it? Do you not really care about having female friends or do you desperately hope your female friends will have sec with you?

[@trikitrikitriki]

The one piece of good advice he gave was "Don't be friends with your ex just because you're hoping to get back together."

[@brandynicholson1499]

Been married to my former "simp" friend husband for 3 years, never been more secure in any relationship in my 46 years on earth.

[@AnnoyingNewslettersPage6]

Thank you for helping me to organize my apartment. I put on your playlists and folded laundry and reorganized my closet. 🙂

[@WispYart]

holy crap you left 9 comments over several days

[@MAMoreno]

Nick's unstated assumption: a true female friend will sleep with her male friend. That's apparently the only way to be a good friend. A woman who treats a man as a platonic friend is at best usurping a friendship role that rightfully belongs to another man. At worst, she is reducing a man to the status of a woman. Either way, she has forgotten her place. Eww.

[@TheGin31029]

Exactly. And if that were the case--that a true female friend sleeps with her male friend, and she has more than one male friend and is thus sleeping with all of them, then she'll get accused of riding the cock rollercoaster, or the cock merry-go-round, or the cock ferris wheel (or whatever this dude in the video called it). We just can't win.

[@HappyKat-wc4ld]

I love these kind of videos! It's so frustrating that some men out there think this way about women.

[@osmonj]

I agree with you

[@treekritter7522]

I would never accept gifts from male friends for YEARS (basically 13 to 23) because of this idea that was spread. From my perspective as a women, I was scared it was being done to get something from me OR that I was taking something from them (when I often didn't have the money to reciprocate). I finally had a good friend who we were able to mutually exchange gifts with eachother and remain happy as friends 💗😊. Funny concept that you can find value in the company of other people without the overwhelming urge to sleep with them.

[@xubicaOP]

The Christian cross... It gets me every time I see an evil being revealing their evilness while doing so wearing SAID Christian cross. I'm a guy and I can attest to the idea that men are not allowed to be emotional. I'm super emotional and can't find anyone to listen to my pains. Those in my family think I'm just making excuses. My labor exchange value is 0. I seriously think that's how I'm seen. Worth 0

[@lucyla9947]

It's okay, and honestly I hate the way that both Men and Females are treated in the world, and let me just tell you something just because you are a Male doesn't mean that your problems and emotions are less valid then Women's. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be here.

[@captainhamada637]

I have a good friend i grew up with we met in school and have known each other for at least 8-9 years now and during times in our friendship it was like he was willing to throw it all away for "just 1 chance please" and everyone justifying him because aww its his first love why not try?? It got to the point where I had to straight up tell him to either you need to stop making me feel like you don't care for our friendship at all or im cutting you out of my life full time that seemed to work I guess for now anyway

[@ariainthemirror8470]

I’m sorry your friend was like that. Its good to set up those boundaries or men will feel entitles to your time.

[@joperhop]

I had an arguement the other week with some red pill, who was saying men and women can not be friends, pointed out I have had plenty of female friends with no attraction like that from either of us, we got on and hung out. He was full triggered mode when i said I felt sorry for him having missed out on possible good friendships. it was when i asked him if gay men can be friends with other men that he simply refused to reply back.

[@nicolasrestrepo6177]

Funny how mere common sense fried their brain

[@trikitrikitriki]

I am a 5 foot trans man. I have dated many women. These cis men don't believe it. What I find women find the most attractive about me is the knowledge I have because I was raised female. I know they're people. I know how their anatomy works (when they're cis women). I have a lot of female friends for the same reason. Because I treat them as people first, women second

[@dhinkakmed]

"Poor nasty nick, women stopped sleeping with him when they find out he's a Wanker!" Fucking killed me! Holy shit! That was so funny

[@claratalbot7613]

If I took this guy's advice & never had any guy friends I would have slipped into a nasty slop of depression in highschool because many of the girls I went to school with were shallow & petty people who treated anyone who was different like garbage. I was constantly bullied & it wasn't until I had a few guy friends & girl friends that I started feeling better because I had friends regardless of gender identity that I could hang out w/ who didn't make me feel like a freak or something was wrong w/ me

[@grantcarpenter6685]

Your takedown of "red pill" nonsense is amazing! The cherry on top was your use of "from" as a preposition following "different." At the risk of sounding like a grammar snob, I love it when people use correct grammar!

[@britnicox3929]

One of my best friends is a man, this makes me so SO angry - demeaning my friendship with him by calling him a simp for our closeness bc he isn’t sleeping with me??? I’m so angry that people devalue friendships with women so much that they don’t even think it’s worth it for a man to be nice to them without sex as a ‘reward’ AND couch the reasons why a woman would be friends with a man as wanting it for personal gain 🤬

[@lorisreality8681]

Goodness! From teen years through to my early thirties, most of my friends were MEN. I just had more similar interests as them ( sci- fi films and books). The girls I knew were super into fashion and celebrity crushes...bleh. That was just not for me.

[@araisilwenn]

Can we talk about how creepy the lighting in his video is paired with what he is saying?

[@manuelwatts1864]

"All the women I try to cultivate a friendship/relationship with hate men." No ... They just hate you, Bubbles ...

[@distantbabble]

I only recently discovered your channel and absolutely am amazed at how amazing it is. I find myself on so many of these videos just nodding along agreeing with you. I am a 45 year old boring old straight guy, but guess what, I have female friends I have had since high school. I've never slept with or wanted to sleep with them. We Are Friends. We hang out. It's what people do. I will also have to admit, at times your channel has certainly taught me a new language, SIMP is a completely new term to me. I want to share with this knucklehead on this video, Surprise! Humans can be friends with other humans! Gender isn't relevant. If it happens to grow from friendship into a relationship, that's cool. It's what happened with the awesome human I married. I'd also like to share if that I was raised Baptist, I left the church once I graduated high school, but I have been fascinated by your videos about Christianity. More videos I find myself smiling and laughing in agreement. I recently sent you a video request via Twitter, hoping to see your reaction to is. Amazing videos, truly enjoying your channel.

[@martinmckee5333]

I simply do not understand how someone can end up with such a skewed view of relationships. I *suck* at forming friendships. I have social anxiety and suffer from depression. I have absolutely not been satisfied with the relationships I have had. And yet, between rejection and loneliness, I have greatly enjoyed the few friendships I have managed to have where my friend trusted me enough to open up about how they were truly feeling. I never have felt used for being supportive. I always feel it is one of the greatest honors to be trusted with someone's honest fears.

[@bettyblu8115]

What a brilliant, lovely young woman you are. You have a beautiful mind and I hope you keep following you heart - you, rock.

[@EmmaThorneVideos]

This is the sweetest thing thank you

[@andrewschaeffer8147]

I visited a church where ALL the men treated the women like this. No one went on any dates because everyone knew the toxic situation that they were in. I showed up, took a girl to the movies, had a great time and the next Sunday every woman was all over me. Unfortunately I left that day. (I was visiting)

[@ms.mayhem9607]

They will "imply sex" What? They will imply sex so like anything ever said about sex in general is implying "having sex" This is very funny to me because I used to have a "friend" who right after I told a traumatic sexual incident too, hit on me and made inappropriate remark so ig I was implying sex hmmm🤔 very interesting

[@CesarElMago]

Love your videos! I find incredibly positive channels like yours, helping debunk all the toxicity we've been living with for DECADES, just with different names or logistics. Keep the good work!

[@iloveplasticbottles]

Wait, men and women CAN'T be friends? Boy I got some news to break to my best friend lmao

[@SonsOfLorgar]

Yup, and I've got bad news for my ex who's continued friendship is the main reason I was able to maintain a four year long distance relationship with the person who's now my spouse of six years...😂

[@narugirl8653]

'Don't be friends with women'. I hope all women have enough self-respect to not be his friend

[@BLZ231]

Jesus Christ if this guy was projecting any harder we could point him at a wall and use him to watch movies.

[@oliviawilliams6204]

And here I am with more male friends that I ever had female friends, and that number of male friends far out numbers my numbers of boyfriends I ever had...