Q&A: Should You Break Up With Him/Her? (Part 2) - Ep 61 - Big Mood

Thanks to our sponsors! www.StitchFix.com/BIGMOOD // www.Misen.com/BIGMOOD // www.FunctionOfBeauty.com/BIGMOOD // www.Talkspace.com + code: MOOD
Listen on iTunes! bit.ly/HeyBtchPodcast
Listen on Spotify! bit.ly/HeyBtchSpotify
Follow our Instagram! / bigmoodgirls
Read our Tweets! / bigmoodgirls
FOLLOW THE CAST:
• Gina Darling: / missginadarling
• Nikki Limo: / nikkilimo
• Tiffany Del Real: / real_tiff
WATCH ON LIVESTREAM:
• Gina Darling: / iheartgina
WATCH US ON OTHER SHOWS:
• Sh*t They Don't Tell You: bit.ly/STheyDontTell
• Tiff & Case: bit.ly/3cJ5XLH
This video contains paid promotion.

[@BigBiscuittt]

"like you're our little sister" me: a 29yo guy Lol

[@NikkiLimo]

You can be our lil sis too 😘

[@BigBiscuittt]

@@NikkiLimo Aight BET 😤😳

[@ArifahBaksh]

me: in an extremely happy, healthy relationship also me: lowkey still scared to watch this

[@brittnguyen1]

LOL meeee

[@littlefrog9553]

Facts

[@otterzz]

This podcast is so good. I listen to it while cleaning or at the gym.

[@LuiVee_.]

i listen to it at work or when i play video games 😂

[@_reyna_love_]

I love you ladies. I totally relate to Jess anger. It stems from being frustrated with the old you who made those same mistakes. Where current you wants to shake old you up and say Pack your shit we going to cobbled stone streets leading to our castle, cuz this is peasant shit, and we are Queens. That's why I am single and spoiling myself in all the ways my past free trials(they don't count if they weren't official for at least a month) failed to. I realized after being cheated on, used, manipulate.... I don't need to rush into a relationship because I am better than them. I am free and at peace. But, they will have to live with themselves. I'm learning the red flags and to value myself in practice by teaching people how to treat me. Anywho have a lovely week ladies, oh, and Happy Woman's month!

[@RaymondStone]

I think my imaginary girlfriend might be escaping into other men's imaginations. Should we break up? She's usually my excuse to order double the takeout.

[@NikkiLimo]

LOL this took me a minute 😂

[@c0rmagg]

Lmao that’s good

[@Pushi_97]

I Love Tiff insight on this one she seem to mature alot. She had really good points and reels the coversation back in when it seems to go too far out. She brings them back to reality. I like their dynamic too they balance each other out. I wish Gina would talk more tho i would like to hear what she thinks about this stuff and her experience. Can you guys talk about friendship. I'm a really shy person and i would like to know how you guys get out there and make connection. What are some topic i can talk about with people and some tips would be really helpfull.

[@danimunoz7863]

It cracks me up every time they respond with a "uuuuuu... Ooooo..... Aaaa..." 😂

[@good_to_be_gold8]

Jess has been outspoken and straight to the point. She’s great

[@1414siamks]

I watched the JK channels since I was in Middle School. I'm 24 now and love them even more. Must say, this channel truly beats the rest. Like the men are great but the women of JK are insanely experienced and so much more insight to offer. I feel like they don't get to talk this freely in the co-ed videos just cuz of the dynamic/amount of ppl. This channel truly allows them to flesh out their main characters of their movie!!

[@isabellamacae1]

Agreed with Jess about that girl who has dated the guy for only 4 months. It seems possessive and manipulating. I don’t think communication is the issue because he should see her effort. It’s an action that doesn’t need to be communicated. He should realize what she’s doing for him.

[@Shadow_Regis]

Alright made my tea i'm here ready for Big Sister Advice Corner lets gooooo!

[@fakingdeep6418]

It’s so entertaining to listen to you guys. Will you guys being doing an open ended advice episode in the future? :)

[@sarah-hc3ey]

hi I love your podcasts. please keep doing them! I've especially been enjoying the murder mysteries and therapy sesh!

[@christophergarrett3977]

One of the dopest podcast!!

[@notagamer2203]

First one, YES DUMP HIM! There is NO possible way he didnt hook up with her. I am so sorry to say that, but he chose to NOT speak to you for 48 hours while mourning the lost of your grandpa and instead entertained a teenager. Hes a coward for not being honest and straight up with you. What if you went and chatted up with some hunk for 48 hours and didnt say a word to him the entire time, while hes dealing with a death in the family. Its not ok at all. I hope these answers finds you the peace you need to leave.

[@rybo510]

First one: YES If he hasn't cheated, he wants to. No heterosexual man in my experience WANTS to talk to a girl that long unless he is getting or wants something. ETA An innocent persons reaction really plays a roll imo. I HAVE been accused and my reaction was: "FIRST of all that isn't who I am, and SECOND of all if I were to cheat I would also be betraying our kids. I could never do that." UNQUOTE lol Of course I am using myself as an example and not all men/woman will react the same. I Still say Break Up. Cue STDTY Break up button. :D

[@marysamson9228]

HI BIG MOOD!! I LIKE TO SAY, UR LAST 2 PODCAST, CRY WITH US.. WAS VERY UPLIFTING AND VERY TOUCHING. GOT US REALLY TO UNDERSTAND OURSELVES N FINDING MORE ABOUT OURSELVES. HOPE GET TO SEE MORE OF. THANK YOU

[@cute29love]

Haha why did I think of greys anatomy when Nikki said the first few lines of the second story 😅😅

[@nainaou6841]

i love this segment! please do more

[@rebas2289]

Absolutley love Jess!!! Her advice about age gaps - spot on!!!

[@Manic44]

Gina understands the struggle of not being able to pause a game lol

[@ForeverMelanie]

If you're in a culture that is more family oriented or more collectivist, it's a norm for everyone to have kids and develop their own family. There's also selfish reasons like filial piety for having kids. It's very different than Western ideology.

[@betulmurat2498]

I love hearing jess's opinions on things

[@Edmans4311]

Thanks for another interesting episode! Wondering if there will ever be a live episode? I don't think there's been one but just thought I would ask. PS: got me some knives from misen! Appreciate the discount, I didn't know which brand to get, thanks

[@ExoAlexAyeAyeHeeeey]

i fricking love this series

[@jademaryy]

Love this segment ❤️

[@dee1307]

Nikki looks so CUTE 🥺!! I love your outfit and hairpins 😍

[@shah5524]

She looks like an adult trying to be a child..

[@dee1307]

@@shah5524 can you please give us your Facebook or Instagram so we can judge your appearance as well?

[@krissyveebaby]

I love it here! luv u guys

[@Vincisomething]

I feel bad for the girls that were raised to believe that type of behavior is OK 😔

[@mikuforlife1929]

Pls do more of these!!!

[@ashleychavez2634]

Jess: " AHH, I'M ALREADY MAD" Me: Audible snort

[@motocats2611]

Agree with the insta stuff they talked about. Especially agreed with Jess on this one, glad im not the only one

[@dolsang7328]

Please do more on situationship ✨😅

[@AnaM-on8tg]

LOL i love watching Jess's reactions.

[@paperNINJAA]

Jess is on fire in this episode 🔥🔥🔥 Loved all her input.

[@shah5524]

She made a dumb statement saying that women are easily manipulated by men up until 30..

[@danimunoz7863]

The same way the girls feel about the guy wanting kids just because culture. I feel the same way whenever people only have kids so they can take care of them whenever they get old 😤🙄

[@Alisha21210]

That's why the culture demands kids. To carry on last name & be taken care of in elder years.

[@flowerh691]

Wow Tiff really came through on the second last one. Totally relate to how she explained it.

[@biancagomez3402]

First question. 5 years together why weren’t you invited to the party as well? I was with my ex for 5 years and he made sure from the beginning of the relationship to introduce me to people he grew up with. I made friends with all his female friends and I made it a point to build trust with the them. I guess to me it’s just weird that she wasn’t invited🤷🏽‍♀️ the mourning I went through that with him too. I lost a family member but my partner made it clear that he just wasn’t good with those situations and I understood. He was there when I needed to be heard but I never pressured him to be an uncomfortable situation

[@kween5748]

i love u guys!!!

[@shitdontmatternow]

what jess said here 1:03:29 really struck a cord in my heart

[@poorpixie3866]

can you guys please do an episode on anxiety or mental health?

[@JiselleMartinez]

Loved this episodeee can you guys do more like these please? 😭

[@grouchysoup]

31:08 LMAO JESS ILY

[@yoursiobhan]

I definitely recommend you guys to read the book 'Attached' by Amir Levine (M.D.) and Rachel S.F. Heller (M.A.), if you haven't yet! It's all about the science of adult attachment and actually gives you tools to recognize attachment styles in yourself and others. It helped me realize so much about my past relationships and gives actual tools on how to work with your attachment style to find someone that's good for you and your mental health. Plus what I also love is that it talks about the misconceptions that today's society has put on mostly anxiously attached people and how someone anxious and dependent is quickly portrayed as clingy and needy, but how dependency is actually a fact; not a choice or preference.

[@HaloHuntress]

1:02:02 Situationship

[@nyanray]

"unless it's ranked". Gina gets it!

[@nikkia6200]

Hi tiff! Please do a talk about co-parenting

[@salsabiilee]

Age and maturity don't always go hand in hand. My husband is 35 and I'm 27. I've been married and divorced at 24 years old with a guy the same age. Everyone's maturity and experience is different, as well as their needs. I get where Jess is coming from. I used to be adamant on never going for anyone more than 4 or 5 years my senior since 21 but experiences change you.

[@mikuforlife1929]

Of course she’s talking in a broader sense since most people at your age aren’t already married and divorced. But successful age gap relationships, possibly like yours seem more like the exception than the rule. Also I would be really wary of those that have a strong pattern of going for others that are way younger than they are.

[@salsabiilee]

@@mikuforlife1929 yeah I get that. But it's also individual to individual. Also depending where you are in life, of course. The stereotype that men take longer to mature than women do is almost 100% true 😅 So sometimes it's not a bother. I personally was tired with man babies that just wanted to mess around. I'm not saying that all men are like that or all women are like that. People enjoy what they enjoy and take different steps in their life choices. But like after 26, you may already feel like your life is starting to go somewhere.

[@ahmadoufaye8939]

I’m here for it

[@willcee4966]

58:22 fr Lmao. Some people aren’t used to communicating to solve issues. I feel like that stuff comes from how you were raised.

[@BushidoBrownSama]

Thank you Gina for defending us

[@jujuness26]

jess's insight is so real and genuine. she should be relationship therapist lol

[@sweetangelchick10]

Lmao “ he takes a shit at some point!” 😂😂

[@retrofb5264]

My gf has convinced me to listen to them while I’m at work…

[@saveion106]

i love this segment

[@liveyourlife243]

Firsttttt! Love ya girls

[@maximustitan8171]

You guys should be guess on BloodBath.

[@marissaogeda4747]

Jess 😂 “YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT IM GONNA SAY”

[@kaleyc3418]

Where do you submit questions??

[@RankedZero]

I know its case by case for each person, but in regards to response delay time, I personally have days where I'll randomly work on something in the yard, and not have my phone on me, Other days I won't even check my phone anyways, but I'm a home body, if someone wants to reach me they can wait till night time or just visit me

[@marymouabeauty1307]

I’m already pissed by the first story ☠️

[@nemoneon]

I know Jess meant the Missy Elliot song Hotboyz ..you got what I want

[@samanthacrawford8241]

You ladies are awesome!💕 I feel like you girls should make a Narcissist red flags and/or manipulation episode cause I feel like I know but I don’t?? and I need to know 😩🥴 anyone? Lol

[@adrianaveth7235]

Love this segment, it's probably one of my favourites. But omg please stop interrupting Nicki while explaining the stories. It's hard to keep up

[@henny925]

Did tiff describe the one of many plot devices of Death Stranded???

[@aacee.]

Lol that second last one sounds like it’s from a Hmong couple.

[@gaberomero127]

I assume by liking certain photos it would cause Instagram (at least for me) to show more photos/content of that. I imagine cause I know Jess asked

[@paytonvandy8140]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@-amosc.presley-7192]

_Happy Tuesday's_ *it's just about **9:17** o'clock in the AM Early in The Evening time right, over here._ *How about you?...* _Also, please remind to have to Joint Down ya' Timing before my Name.._

[@JennysCorazon]

Agree

[@caroliinec]

the 2nd question sounds like It’s just a fwb situation but she's expecting more..? Either accept the situation as it is because its not gonna change or leave...cause thats the only way its going to change

[@missmalexa]

Where do we submit lmao

[@KeturaSaint-Fleurose]

Instagram dm I think

[@christiancamacho3841]

I hate that I'm like gina I have been talking to a guy for a little more than a week so my time is a little different lol but like I don't hear from him for like 6 hours and I'm like damn maybe he doesn't like me anymore and then I hear from him and I'm just like never mind we good still. Also thank you for being the sisters I didn't get to have damn brothers lol

[@humanii9037]

Dude same! I feel weird asking him like hey can we text a lil more because we have had 2 date calls and 1 in person we have another date next week so is it ok to communicate that with him or is too early 🤔 ...help pls

[@jerrettbarkley456]

You ladies age difference arguments kinda confuses me.

[@viggohoejer5972]

yeeeees

[@edmondtan142]

What happen to Jess' voice?

[@HugoLopez-nm1qn]

"he has a woman at home" sounds like you can't have McDonalds we have food at home lol

[@mikuforlife1929]

Frijoles de la olla is all that is needed

[@HugoLopez-nm1qn]

@@mikuforlife1929 sometimes we all need a Big Mac 😤 but frijoles be fire

[@peekatchuuu23]

I need a Jessica in my life

[@Brodie3K]

I'm with Gina on the texting back. You can at least tell the person what's going on at some point in the day.

[@animallover7857]

I kmew it

[@arianaconnors1463]

The guy liking other girls pictures. Here's my opinion, not that anyone cares but here it is. Yes, it's human nature to look and admire someone for their looks , taking a double glance at someone at the grocery store for instance. He, however, is going out of his way to look at other women.

[@MoietyVR]

To play the devil's advocate: What's the difference between this and porn? There seems to be a stigma that a partner shouldn't have issues with these things. (Personally I am anti-porn but I am not among the majority @FightTheNewDrug)

[@x2pm]

@@MoietyVR porn is more of a mindless thing. the instagram is more personal that you are actively giving an interaction (following, liking, commenting). following to get it onto your feed opposed to something random. this is one more effort and step than watching porn

[@MoietyVR]

@@x2pm You are right, and there is also the possibility of a response from a real person on IG. I wasn't defending it by comparing it to porn, I was pointing to the fact that we (society) usually allow porn in a relationship but have a problem with something like this which could feel like a contradiction.

[@emmaaaa2839]

Is Nikki pregnant and playing it off? She’s been glowing so much lately and keeps talking about it 😳😳😳

[@pacharuna6507]

Steve is probably infertile. Busts "all kind of nuts" but no result

[@amelbenmessaoud1629]

When it comes to the age thing - I think I’d depends on the individual maturity. I’m 23 but spot manipulation and call it out faster than my 26-30 years old friends. It depends on how confident and how much self respect you’ve developed 🙌🏼 most women sadly develop it at an older age - because they are used to people around them subconsciously telling them they should be “grateful” for men and that “their value” depends on men.

[@caroliinec]

for the 2nd to the last question, the girl deserves way better than that guy. Forget "life experience" she does not need to deal with that kind of trash and she is so young and has so many responsibilities already to have to deal with an immature "boyfriend" who just causes more stress. If he doesn't even see you as his girlfriend and can't even post about you but posts about celebs???? Why would you call him your bf?? Not to mention, him being incapable of understanding that your family comes first, especially since you are still young, is another red flag. Take out the trash, girl. Relationships do not and should not have to be this stressful. There is someone who will treasure you and will post about you without you even having to ask for it, and it is NOT this guy. Take out the trash, girl. You deserve better and you KNOW it.

[@snowpearl5908]

I hope Gina gets better after the tik tok incident

[@citlaligiljacobo11]

What happened?

[@snowpearl5908]

@@citlaligiljacobo11 the guy she dated gave her chlamydia. His name is Read Choi and everyone is canceling him. He targeted other women too.

[@allessiaella6744]

I think I’m building maturity even if I’m in my young 20s bc I’m learning tons from big mood girls!! 😏

[@thePapiWolf]

Idk... for the instagram thing is different. You mean to tell me y'all don't follow a guy who isn't a personal friend and you never like photos or follow someone off the opposite sex? Double tapping is mindless. It doesn't mean he worships the women of instagram. To me that is kinda narrow...but he is absolutely in the wrong if she asked and he agreed only to ignore her request. The part where he is looking into certain links from local friends is pretty bad..

[@zegsi364]

Ladies, tell Bart and Joe to use rumble instead of youtube

[@dylanjohnson3346]

Or little brothers lol

[@rickyang1749]

When is geo and Bart going to be in the podcast

[@Lalalalala...]

The fact that he's in his 50s and still pulling that crap is bad. It's bad either way, but I feel like it would be more understandable if he was a teenager too

[@ShofnaBagel]

Jess at 34 mins is literally what I tell EVERYONE 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@naiomipyorala8937]

Can we stop with the age thing? "Women under 30 are this" "women over 30 are that". To each their own..

[@alexlilano1931]

@@plumochazuke 30 is so old. 30 is when women will have start having trouble having babies. We need to stop talking about 30 year olds as they were 18.

[@mikuforlife1929]

@@alexlilano1931 it’s actually until 35

[@mikuforlife1929]

Age is super relevant. And for you and others to say it doesn’t matter at all just shows your naivety of issues concerning age in relationships.

[@naiomipyorala8937]

@@mikuforlife1929 I don't think it doesn't matter at all. I just don't agree it's super important in every submission. There's one email they read where someone was in their late 20s and the other was in their 30s and Jess was trying to include age so heavily. I thought it was irrelevant in that case, especially. I totally get it if someone's like 18-22 while the other is 30+.

[@alexlilano1931]

@@mikuforlife1929 It starts at 30. I know a couple couldn't get a kid at 30. Not sure it was because of age and they are really sad about it though. I forgot the percentage, but the percent is much higher at age 30 than 20 for conceive related problem.

[@alexlilano1931]

First off love your Podcast. My thoughts on advice is not to take them. When I was in my early 20s, I scored big with an amazing person. Good looking with a great personality and hard working. Everything you want from a person. I took advice from one a person I knew and my relationship went from good to extremely bad. I lost a really wonderful person and I felt I really hurt the person too. I still feel bad about it today. It turns out that person I got advice from got divorce four times and the person wasn't that old. I also didn't like the person I took advice at all after I got to know the person more. The person will spread rumors and called me stupid. That person was awful. My advice be careful who you take advice from. I ended up with a good person, but still feel really bad about what happen with that person I hurt and I still feel really bad about it because the person didn't deserve it. I look for relationship I admire and copy what they do with their relationships. I usually look into old married couples because they went through a lot to last that long.

[@poppyzol]

This ia so true, advice can be dangerous. People should be cautious of giving advices, too, look at yourself and whether you are 'worthy' of giving that advice. I went through the same thing but it's about where i went to university and i still regret it to this day (even though i've graduated haha).

[@RaymondStone]

I don't believe Gina at 28:45 or Jess at 29:04 when they say they don't want to be the ones to birth the children. Back in my broke junior college days I fell in love with someone I modeled with and she would say the same thing. We hung out one-on-one regularly and during one of our conversations she said she would never have any kids because she didn't want to ruin her body. After she chose someone else over me (he probably wasn't broke like me at the time) fast forward a decade later and they are married with two kids. It reminds me of what the male dating "experts" on KZbin always say: women will make rules for men they're not into and break them for men they're into. That's why those "experts" will often tell you to use the Brad Pitt rule, which has recently turned into the Jason Momoa or Chris Hemsworth rule: as a woman replace the man in question with one of those stars and ask yourself if you feel the same way; as a man replace yourself with one of those stars and ask yourself if you believe the woman will feel the same way.

[@c0rmagg]

10 years is a long ass time to have changes in mindset, man. She could have whatever opinions and ideas one year and things could change the next year, even the next month. It’s okay to have changes in mindset. That’s what makes us human - we are adaptable and moldable. But I also do agree, women (and men) will have their specific wants depending on their partner. She could’ve just not been feeling you, man. And it could’ve also just been her temporarily not feeling you. Who’s to say things would’ve changed in the future? I had the same situation with my girl where she straight up told me that she can’t imagine having kids with me (she’s Asian and used to Asian men, and I def don’t fit that bill). Fast forward two years later, and she is down to have kids if we come to making that move.

[@RaymondStone]

@@c0rmagg It's possible she wasn't feeling me, though it was more of a mixed signal dynamic. For example, she always wanted to spend time with me one-on-one and usually initiated our time together but never wanted to escalate beyond friendship, almost as if to say, "I may find you attractive but you don't have your financial/career ish together for me to be comfortable enough to tie myself to you." And funny enough, I never even said I wanted kids. My whole life I've been undecided on the kids issue so I don't even remember how it came up in one of our conversations. I agree with you that people can change their minds and that it's what makes us human, but it's also what makes us less believable when we claim certain things that evidence doesn't support, even if we truly believe those things we say. It's why someone on the opposite side of the political spectrum can sound ridiculous while also truly believing the things s/he believes. I think your situation is proof that if you give a person enough time to get used to a certain situation that person can eventually become comfortable with things s/he previously couldn't imagine. The real challenge from someone in your situation is getting that person to even give a relationship between the two of you a chance in order for greater things to actually be possible.

[@mikuforlife1929]

Y’all weren’t even together stop being so bitter dude

[@RaymondStone]

​@@mikuforlife1929 That logic makes no sense. Whether or not two people were together has nothing to do with how bitter one of the two are entitled to be about their relationship.

[@tammyclairs166]

Tiff... lack of communication?! Seriously? That’s not the biggest red flag of that relationship. I hope this girl didn’t listen to that shit.

[@CheeseOnEverything]

Never talk to ur bf when he's gaming, you'll get the same answer every time

[@evoltaocao5078]

women ghost men so much in life that when the tables are turned we can't possibly have sympathy

[@Espresso_plz]

Ghosting in general is shitty. Regardless of whos going it.

[@mikuforlife1929]

Who hurt you lolol

[@evoltaocao5078]

@@mikuforlife1929 guess ...men ghost too, but women are on another level. let me put it like this; i'm 100% against murder under any circumstance lol but i understand how some of them happen

[@loreleiluna1418]

Honestly, think we pay attention to much to the age differences. I've seen long term relationships with age differences of 15 years. It's not like once you hit an age difference of 10+, it's automatically a pathological issue

[@loreleiluna1418]

@@plumochazuke I'm still inclined to disagree. Then in that argumentthe issue is differences in power and not age. It's just as possible for someone younger to manipulate/abuse someone older as it is vice versa

[@mikuforlife1929]

Thanks for the anecdote 😐

[@mikuforlife1929]

@@loreleiluna1418 Yes it’s possible but a lot less likely.

[@jordanthornton4440]

I love you guys but DAMN, what is y'all's problem with age gaps? Hahaha! Just because someone has more than a 4-year difference doesn't mean it's already a bad thing. Lmao! I especially don't agree with Jess's argument about girls under & over 30 and why a man is or would be dating someone younger. I just have a dilemma there. But again, love you guys.