Questions To Ask Before You Get Married | Stephan Speaks w/ Lewis Howes

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

For more insight and advice be sure to visit me here 👉 www.StephanSpeaksShop.com 👈 I'm sure you'll find something you'll love!

[@kayajackson50]

I've learned so much from Stephan while being single. Stuff I never thought about before and I'm thankful to know before I start dating again. Thank you so, so much!

[@lacitafleming]

3:28 “When you comprise with something that you’re not going to be happy about, you’re not compromising, you are sacrificing.” Wow so powerful even during the lock downs due to Covid- 19. Many sacrifices being made and people are finding out who they are 🙏🏾

[@vanessalynn4064]

I think these are very important things to discuss especially before marriage. These questions will identify any red flags. Compromising on values and morals is something that I don’t recommend. It’s really hard to make a relationship work with someone who doesn’t have the same views as you.

[@shes_setapart]

So important! This can even be applicable to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. They do what they feel like they have to do to get you, but not to keep you.

[@vanessalynn4064]

Kaylani Simone Agree 💯

[@Goddess685]

Message, this is so needed in this day and time 👏🏾👏🏾 marriage is not for the weak.

[@cedricadaniels7983]

I think many women are hesitant to answer questions about how they expect their spouse to keep himself up because it has been drilled in us that we are being "too picky and will never have anyone". Some women are told to just be glad they have a man and to do whatever it takes to keep him happy (and the bills paid). The fear of being alone and being looked upon as inadequate has plenty of women blindly settling. My aunts, grandparents, and immediate family are on me all the time about being single but I just don't want to end up unhappy (like many of them).

[@anitaknight3915]

Amen huni, I'm the same way and I refuse to settle!! Your a queen, never compromise your standards. I'd rather be alone than in an unfulfilling relationship just for the sake of having someone like most people today too.

[@josiejewel766]

Cedrica Daniels i agree same here with my family can't just settle have to ask questions and see different views and see if they are any red flags

[@stephaniestephanie4545]

Hon You said it! I hear you

[@jasminebrewster9870]

Amen. The church tell us the say thing. They say, "He just got to be saved and love God. He will be a good husband." Meanwhile there are women put on façade like they happy in public. These women who are unhappy and miserable in church because got someone they never married in the first place. They trying to do activities at the church to keep them busy from being with husband. It does mean we set standards that are unrealistic and crazy. We don't need to settle with just anybody out of fear.

[@loridori]

Wow, the irony that they try to lure you into unhappy situations that they themselves have not realized they don't need and have settled for, for so many years.

[@leasah1197]

People lie to get to the altar.

[@leasah1197]

Lie to themselves and the other person.

[@ganicr]

People may lie, but Character doesn’t.

[@smileyperlishia]

Leasah So true

[@shaunaboo961]

All the time

[@jennifersnelling4966]

This comment should be pinned...the best comment I saw on here ever!

[@alponca5943]

Fantastic and insightful video, however what I have noticed with both men and women is that many times a lot of us are so desperate to be in a couple or relationship that we all will lie about it all in the name of not begin alone or having to keep on searching. Thank you for addressing so many important issues through your channel!

[@torrihoward9729]

Wow I'm listening to this video and it has come back to me, that's Exactly Why my marriages didn't work. Alot of these NECESSARY QUESTIONS were not ever asked 🤔

[@lwhite474]

We need a part 2

[@rachelsweets]

I agree

[@BlessedDivine77]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/b3fWYZylip6AhZo here's the entire interview :)

[@lwhite474]

sharonmina sheshe ok thanks so much

[@HK80sbabii]

@@BlessedDivine77 Thank you for sharing the full interview!

[@Liindiah]

Me too

[@lyrendamoore4903]

This is very important to talk about while you are in a relationship.

[@realityfake4191]

It’s not about sex.its about the affection maintained between the couple and understanding between the couple even at their lows.

[@matthewjosiah]

The values piece has been something so valuable to me personally, as well as thinking of the future!

[@prettyparker]

@Stephan Speaks How do you envision your role in marriage? Also, call me so I can make sure our values align lol! Always good to hear your input on relationship matters! 💕

[@keepthefaithwithtori]

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@prettyparker]

@@keepthefaithwithtori 😂😂 I love him

[@rachelsweets]

Hehe

[@rachelsweets]

😍😍😍

[@ilovehousemusic2637]

Girl lmao!

[@WriteTheVisionAndMakeItPlain]

These were pretty good. There are a few I'd definitely need to add in. Such as "What is your priority reason for wanting to marry (me)?" And "What are your plans to cover us spiritually in Christ as the head of our home (my husband)?" My future husband must he a follower of Christ and leading our home in a spirit of holiness and honor is his duty. And the courtship must continue between. Laughter and fun should always remain.

[@rissaroybal]

Life isn't that simple. There's loss, grief, job losses, illness that can impact our capacity for all things. So, what about incorporating that into those issues which I agree need to be discussed to keep connection. What you're saying is great in theory but the nuances of life and the minutia can complicate matters. Giving one another space through challenges and still having one another's back will keep all things in alignment. Too often selfishness sets in with one and contaminates the relationship.

[@monicalrochelle]

Please write a book on this.....all things to consider before getting married. This brought up a lot of good ideas that I have not heard before..

[@smileyperlishia]

Keep the same love and passion that brought u two together. Honesty and communication u win!

[@carolecurd5475]

Great video. These are topics that get swept under the rug and end up causing major conflicts later. Thank you for the awareness..

[@jasminebrewster9870]

You right! It will save people so much heartache. Everybody's view of marriage is not the same in what their ideal marriage looks like. People have different views on what the roles in marriage looks like. Everybody does not have the same values. I found out that Christian man and woman can be on different pages.

[@tranquility9325]

These are good questions. They open the lines of communication for topics that would normally be tricky to bring up. Thank you Stephan.

[@trafficcontrol2420]

Like seeing these two together ❤

[@NYCAppl3]

I enjoyed this interview. Great questions. Great insight. ❤

[@frederickhoward5598]

🤔"The One" although a good phrase, is often misunderstood. Unless you understand the Innerwork and Self work regarding partnering, mating,and companionship-( relationship) which is a huge and challenging ; requiring diligent work, fun,and meaningful play at that!

[@ek1648]

These are great questions, and very important to have answered. But I wonder how truthful both parties will answer these.

[@elikaadhiambo]

This is truly important things to consider n ask well spoken n well said!I totally agree..

[@shararose7170]

Very important discussion points to address before marriage and long term relationships.

[@salsasoul4112]

Marriage is an all in deal. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially... It's heavy stuff. There's so much that needs to be completely clear before marriage. Especially, if you plan on having children. Ex. Please find out if any diseases, etc. run in the family on both sides. Watch their character. I was once in a relationship and from observation early in the game, I realized that he liked young girls. The spectrum is very long. Personally, I don't trust anyone enough to marry them and have them deeply involved in every aspect of my life.

[@PsychTherapy]

why is that surprising? Men of all ages sexually prefer young girls to older women. Men will only pursue an older woman despite having younger options when he is in love with her personality, how she makes him feel.

[@ruth5316]

I agree 💯 you need to have open communication

[@olivia7192]

I used to be too fat to breathe.. I’ve kept my weight off for 3-4 years now I’ll fight till death to make sure I don’t get that unhealthy again.. the struggle is real

[@rachelsweets]

You got this hon

[@Ms.Jamieh297]

💪🙏❤

[@cherryb7821]

Well done Olivia,you deserve good health. I hope you don't mind me suggesting rather than fight why not incorporate fun activities into your lifestyle such a dance, pilates or yoga class. When you go to a class you have a support system with others. It's worth continuing to be healthy for the energy, self esteem, fashion choices and love life. I imagine you are an inspiration to family and friends. You are worth it.

[@lacitafleming]

Reason #1 scares me. This is very good! I’m taking notes, thank you for saving our lives from making mistakes before marriage 😅

[@HK80sbabii]

Thanks for sharing this snippet I watched the full interview also, and it got deep! You truly have sound advice for both men and women. I also appreciate your transparency in telling your personal story. Thank you. P.S. Stephan it's time for you to get an ol' lady for things like helping you keep your elbows moisturized and the little things like that. I watched the full interview and I couldn't stop noticing your elbows lol.

[@thelookout5802]

Elbows? I've never noticed a man's elbows before🤣🤣

[@hersh6216]

True true advice!! Much appreciated!

[@milachyc88]

Find God together in order to maintain a HEALTHY emotional, spiritual and physical RELATIONSHIP with YOUR SPOUSE! Find someone who understands THE DEPTH of your soul, someone who is patient,kind and understanding. Take time to grow in a relationship before getting married.

[@jemimasimpson3393]

When should I ask him this questions, should I ask early in the relationship or few weeks or days to the altar?

[@FeelGoodWithin]

Yeah it's good to ask ques & set right expectations

[@georgia6127]

Heys Guys, how about having a few workshops in Australia?

[@lwhite474]

Great questions

[@lwhite474]

Stephan Speaks you’re welcome!!!

[@2012ladura]

Let them dreads go Stephen!

[@ruth5316]

I prayer to God to help me use the right words

[@TheQShow53]

What an amazing video!

[@rachelsweets]

Great advice thank you

[@realityfake4191]

I am always honest to relationship.But I already broken with my spouse.

[@rafaelmuele496]

Hi 👋 brother thank you so very much for your wonderful advice regarding relationships. I have a question, knowing that a distance relationships are difficult to realize it, but what can I do or can we do to make it work until we be together. Once again thank you 🙏 May God bless you more

[@rachelsweets]

Love this

[@ReginaBell]

I'm glad I watch this because me and my fiance suppose to get married in June. We talk a lot about what we going to do but I don't think we think about it all like this though. Right now he currently working and I am not. But planning to get a job because I don't want him taking care of everything or we get anything argument if it came to that. Because I been in that situation before but my ex's weren't trying to help me be a better me either.

[@deasiasimone5302]

💯💯👏🏽 well worded

[@robynmixon94]

I like this video its very informative.

[@robynmixon94]

Thanks for the comment!!

[@ruth5316]

Continually communication in all areas even if it can be nerve recking

[@realityfake4191]

No doubt you are a machine.Lewis howes.

[@olivia7192]

His last words to me were “I don’t want to get married”... 6months ago.. Ouch...

[@rachelsweets]

Sorry love

[@krispy41956]

SMART MAN

[@almetatrammel5687]

Sorry to read his last statement, but please be encouraged

[@komplexsimplicitydavid5353]

His Loss! Thank GOD for dodging that disaster!

[@Keturah-Renet]

What's irritating about the weight issue is the fact that as women we have babies and many other changes that can make it more difficult to lose the weight. So now I've given life, but I should be okay with his vain standard when he leaves? I get it. It just makes me never want to try at relationships again.

[@jhay360]

Keturah Renet there’s a man that will love you for you, that will appreciate the sacrifice of you bringing life into the world, and will be just as in love with you after a pregnancy as before it. Dont give up Queen, God has one for you! ❤️

[@Keturah-Renet]

@@jhay360 I appreciate that! Thanks. 🖤

[@SimplyQuintessa]

Keturah Renet I feel the same way.

[@anitaknight3915]

Amen girl preach!!

[@XAudreyS]

Women do go through hormonal and weight changes however we can all control what we put into our bodies, and the time we put into our physical health.

[@easydiycrafts-cheng4167]

What if they change after the marriage?

[@realityfake4191]

Great training🤭

[@realityfake4191]

Lust is the only reason that my exspouse always disconnects from me.

[@kerryanderson3060]

Damm fine questions, one thing though, how do we know how many times a week we are going to want sex, shouldn’t we letting it be spontaneous???❤️❤️

[@kathiesuper_star3825]

Someone can write for me all this questions please

[@Pheonix1111]

Stephan, how can women speak with their husbands/boyfriends without hurting their fragile ego? A man's fragile ego is a very difficult issue for women. We are scared to approach men about difficult topics - it feels like we are walking into a minefield. We sincerely do not want to hurt men. We simply want to discuss/improve difficult, sensitive issues for everyone's benefit. Could you please consider doing a video about this topic or address this issue in one of your upcoming videos?

[@Coolct]

So dope and true I’m one of those women he’s talking about dealing with weight I pray my man respects the fact he can’t get obese on me and expect me to still want him JS

[@realityfake4191]

I never cheat the married ones.i separated from him because of the abuse.

[@alicea561]

That will never work if you are not loyal to God you cannot be loyal to your mate period. We can try other strategies but it will always fall. Your foundation has to be built on Jesus Christ.

[@missyadams3542]

EXACTLY.... YOU WOULD PRAY BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE EVEN IN CHURCH TODAY, ARE PLAYING CHURCH BUT THEY DON'T KNOW JESUS WHOLEHEARTEDLY! MY HUSBAND WAS ONE.... AND A NARCISSIST, SO SICKENING BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE NOT THINKING ABOUT THEIR SOULS! THEY PLAY NOW BUT NOT THINKING ABOUT THEIR SOULS LATER, SAD!

[@g-max2810]

DAVID ALICEA YES!!!!!

[@g-max2810]

R WHAT !!!!!! the fear and love of God when you know he is really really Real oh YES YOU WILL!!!🍎🍎🍎

[@g-max2810]

R if those people of God has left him and just pretend to be with God then I can say yes.

[@kenyafromcali]

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[@DR.Habesha]

💯

[@realityfake4191]

The relationship should be let go And it shouldn’t be dance on the kinfe for each and every second. My exspouse expected me to dance on the knife even after I dance I failed.

[@realityfake4191]

Do you think that the feelings will come according to the schedule?😊

[@elp1246]

You're an attractive guy, but you would look much better without the long hair. Great advice, Dude!

[@Stylishheart101]

Disagree! His hair looks great!!

[@BlessedDivine77]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/b3fWYZylip6AhZo link for the entire interview :)

[@stoney1962]

Why was dating so easy in 1950 60 70!.

[@realityfake4191]

It’s not possible to fix as it went upto murder.

[@qmdox]

👏🏿

[@CalLadyQED]

This bothers me because there seems to be an assumption that people do not change. How does a virgin woman or celibate man know what they need or want sex-wise in their marriage? How ca 20-somethings expect to know what they'll need when they're in their 60s? It's good to talk about some of these things, but Stephan makes it sound like you cannot change later on.

[@deanagatlin4388]

Do you want to do God s will only if you dont I do not want to marry you. I only want to do the will of God

[@lolastarr8738]

I'm always up front....don'tput all femalesin one lump, I don't care if it hurts, to bad, I want to know...I don't like fat dudes, he can't let himself go bcuz I'm wont....I would say whatever ...I don't care about ppl and their judgment

[@krispy41956]

Don't get married it's a trap

[@umaxi96]

I am just here to laugh about the hair.