3 Questions You Must Ask Before Marriage with Ken and Tabatha Claytor

In this episode of Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha, we dissect the seemingly simple but quintessential questions that can save you from potential heartache - three questions you must ask before marriage. Sharing our personal journey of 24 years of marital bliss (and occasional chaos), we offer you pearls of wisdom on managing change, setting expectations right, and the art of loving when you're not quite 'liking.'
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[@samueltshabalala400]

How i got your podcast, I was mumuring to God that i don't know where to begin with marriage. There is this amazing woman I like and i had no idea where to begin, so i said God teach me. and immediately when i got home, suddenly you podcast came up, and i have maybe 7 to 10 podcast, and i am learning. I can't believe i am learning even after so many episodes i am leanging new things that i never learned before. Its awesome

[@kshennel]

Thank God there are still men like you.

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Glad you were led to our channel!

[@samueltshabalala400]

I love you guys, now i must get my girl to watch your vidoes as well@@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha

[@dorothymatthews6690]

First time watching them. Such a God ordained couple. I loved it!

[@ronnie2pooh]

@samueltshabalala400 literally the same thing that happened to me! I have NEVER seen them before going to God about a God ordained man! Also, me becoming a God ordained wife! Best of Wishes On Your Journey!

[@tebogotekane3081]

🤯 "premarital counselling is not for you to say 'I do' it's for you to say 'do I?'"

[@Richgirlshana305]

Love this ❤ I’m 29 and single and taking notes I desire marriage and hopefully one day I’ll meet my husband

[@nyishasealey5061]

Same

[@patiencemtisi9061]

It often comes across like Pastor Ken feels he has to put up with his wife's "flaws", more than she does his. But this can not be the truth. He has plenty flaws too, more obvious than hers for us who follow the couple, however Pastor Tabatha always extends so much grace to him.

[@Domine_Spinelli]

👏🏽

[@lillianmugie1473]

feels the same for me too.

[@christellen3077]

Pastor Ken ... ! Take example.on your wife in regards of the ability to give grace and to cover the other by not reproaching , and admitting your wrongs. At times I often sense that you are talking about her wrongs, but yours not really. And when she says how she says what she does well, you bring faults. You should be covering your wife. Because she does all the things you do not. You bring up what you feel is not perfect on what she does to many times. And in too many episodes. Pastor. She never insist on having the last word, and never really shows your flaws. But you are always dissatisfied. You are not thankful..... Be thankful, honor, give grace , HONOR your wife more. Most of the viewers are women. And as a woman it is not comfortable to watch. And it takes away the value of the podcast at time. May God bless you couple in Jesus Name. Which is the priority over any ministry ❤

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Thank you so much for your comment 🙏🏾 I know I am not perfect. But I cover my wife and honor her so much. She is my bestfriend. We are just being us, we don’t edit the podcast much we want to give you a true insight of marriage and how we both still have things to work on. But we love you and appreciate your feedback ❤️

[@christellen3077]

@@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha 🙏🙏🙏

[@patiencemtisi9061]

I totally agree. The criticism of your wife comes across too often Pastor Ken. We point this out because we love you both!

[@NicholCunningham-yy9fh]

I totally agree with you. I discovered their podcast about 2 months ago and have heard and appreciated a lot from their ministry, but I tend to feel annoyed how he continually point out her flaws while she try to acknowledge it with grace.

[@mayamaya-ob6dg]

No marriage Is perfect what they showing us everybody has their problem they constantly have to work through and improve the work in marriage never ends I'm single and even me understand that

[@dejanaemorris]

“If they don’t change their circle of friends, can you still be with them for the rest of their lives?” Very retable and important question, that one hit home! 💭

[@bobbiemichaelsNyc86]

He's in trouble after this podcast 🤭😅 But I definitely think this one's is my favorite out of them all 💭🙏☕🙌

[@venuslin]

1. Can you handle me changing? 2. Can you handle me NOT changing? 3. Will you love me when you don’t like me?

[@shannonwhite6591]

I like this podcast. However, he's always pointing things out about her that's wrong or the way she use to be. What about him. Can she handle him changing or not changing.? I like how she admits she has grown, improved over the years.

[@IAmPhasion]

Always i can’t watch him anymore because it’s the Ken show. I have to unsubscribe. I felt oh maybe this just this one episode nope i watched about 10 episodes and it’s all of them

[@righteousmasculine]

GOD bless your marriage I’m 36 and I always ask GOD to put me in the right place at the right time to meet my spouse. I’m preparing myself with GODLY wisdom in my singleness. I always said I want to raise a child in a Structured two parent home

[@keavonta]

I just want to thank yall. I just turned 26 & although I am single, i have began preparing for marriage. i love your podcast, thank y’all for being authentic and sticking to the word 🤍

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

You are so welcome! Thanks for watching!

[@righteousmasculine]

I hope I pray GOD bless you with a righteous man of GOD

[@johnsugg1360]

I've been married and divorced twice. I have tons of wisdom learned and yalls videos are still taking me to school. Those watching pay attention. Solid Godly advice here. Marriage requires constant growth and full determined commitment in your walk with God and each other. Pray separately and together everyday.

[@dablackkitten302]

Love how authentic and real yall are! Glad you popped up on my feed :)

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Glad to have you watching. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any posts!

[@patiencemtisi9061]

I agree with Tabatha, I feel like Ken expects her to be more like him. I don't mean to be rude but I often feel that Ken criticizes Tabatha a bit too much. I wonder why that is? You are an amazing couple but there is an issue there somewhere. However, I really love your ministry and am learning a lot

[@Belindarko]

I noticed that too actually

[@lindajohnson2816]

Stop trying to dissect their marriage, and look in word. They said they are not perfect so stop looking for perfection.

[@sarag6710]

Love this podcast! My boyfriend and I are going through premarital counseling before we get engaged and totally agree on doing something similar for couples. We are plugged in at our home church and view our relationship as courting each other

[@evelyniziegbe8951]

Found this and decided to listen i pray God connect my future husband to listen too 🤣🙌🏻

[@rennieshawellington5411]

The rawness in this though! I absolutely love this as a single woman looking forward to being a wife. This add so much value because to be honest sometimes I we try our very best to try and change people into who we want them to be rather than accepting people as they are. We want everyone to be who we are and forget that we were all created uniquely. ❤ thank u for this

[@elisabethlourens6626]

What an awesome cool couple. This lady is my hero. So humble. So positive and kind towards her husband.

[@christianqueen]

I'm sorry, but I feel like this husband is continually insulting his wife. Every video that I looked at so far he starts off by saying that the first 2 years of their marriage was horrible, until he got her together and helped her get her credit straight. To me, those kind of comments are not loving and supportive. Covering your spouse includes that you do not expose them, over and over and over again for the entire world to see. Just look at Tabatha's face every time Ken makes these types of comments. 😔

[@Alexis-fu5iy]

I agree… I thought It was just me. Sometimes he’s really rude to her. “You were horrible the first 2 years” or whatever he said.. like my goodness

[@ladielox]

Tabitha agrees with him that the first 2 yrs of their marriage was horrible. They have gone into other details as to why. Her credit wasn't the forefront of that. If it bothered Tabitha as much as it bothers viewers, I'm sure she would have addressed it with him by now and he would have stopped. I also believe they are letting newly married couples know that they can get past those hard years if GOD is present and their respect and love for each outweighs the bad days. Ken and Tabitha are one of the realest Christian couples on the internet. I laughed at their little spat. I especially loved and learned from them pulling themselves back and moving the conversation forward in love. 👑❤️🖤💚👑

[@shaunjmorris]

I see your point. The thing I like about this couple, and the husband especially is how human they are. His mistakes actually show how emotionally mature his wife is.

[@shellyshantel1]

LOL......This one was toooo funny! Love Tabatha getting offended, felt like I was watching myself🤣

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

😂

[@LiyahLova]

They were both in their feelings when they pointed out something about the other 😂 there’s no need for him to accuse her of being offended…

[@suzzetteturnbull4557]

This was outstanding!! As someone twice divorced, I co-sign everything said in this podcast. Please take it seriously whether you’re single dating or not dating or if you’re married. This context and wisdom is priceless.

[@growwiththeflow.]

I could see how him saying that you only want the "last word" is triggering. It's not that you want the last word. You are sharing your perspective. Honoring each other includes hearing each other out. It is a continual conversation.

[@patiencemtisi9061]

I agree. I feel like he often shuts her down, doesn't really hear her put. Great couple on the whole though

[@IAmPhasion]

This why I’m unsubscribing. I came to hear both views not feel like I’m with my ex all over again 😢

[@nekondehmyrick3666]

“Tabatha showing off” is wild 😂 Just discovered your guys show and I love you already ❤

[@ems4202]

This came at the right time. God bless you both 🙏🏾 🤍

[@tierramonique]

love this episode. love the realness, practical tips and spiritual nuggets.

[@hazelsemper7145]

I love these two. Great couple and great information.

[@edmondletasichosen]

I love you guys!! Thank you so much for what you do! God’s blessings to you and your family! ❤️

[@niajones3101]

I love this, thank you for blessing relationships and helping prepare relationships ❤

[@MyQueendom8]

I love watching your podcast, always great conversations and insightful 👍🏽

[@kimmycup_xo]

God bless your marriage and family and thank you for this new episode!! ❤🙏🏽

[@t.r.8794]

I loved this! As a single woman, this made me really think. Thanks for the nuggets😊

[@graceolagunju7174]

Loved this video!! Thank you!! It was helpful.

[@kelvinchukwubuikem3214]

Very Organic conversation.

[@kenyatamagette]

This is so good! These 3 questions is it! So good! Thank you for this!

[@ceetyler1302]

Ken and Tabatha " Thank You" both for this beautiful podcast. Your personal experiences and Godly advice are so needed reaching african american singles, couples. Your Podcast has truly been a Blessing to me. May you both continue your life journey as friends first, lovers and cherish the covenant of your L❤Ve for one another. God 🙌 Bless to both. #❤thisPodcast

[@bri_marie0406]

Thank y’all so much for doing this podcast and coming to us authentic & vulnerable! I came across your channel a couple of days ago and as I am listening through episodes, I have already gleaned so much wisdom 🙏🏼 yes please to creating a podcast where you teach on what it looks like for a man to lead his family. I did not grow up with any strong examples of this and would love to know what to look out for in dating as I am preparing to find my spouse. Thank you both again, and may the Lord continue to bless your marriage, your family, and your ministries.

[@pastorandrewdavis496]

Love your podcast!! Thank you for your wisdom !

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Thanks for listening!

[@soniaverver5156]

You two are real love your podcast!

[@sophiaentzminger5011]

AMAZING !! Good Word!

[@godfirstcustoms]

Yessir we need that man of GOD pod cast

[@smangamoy974]

Hay guys you are doing a good job with marriage stuff. Keep going, you are amazing.

[@sheisgracegold.875]

This was so good, and both of you always crack me up, i love you ma'am and sir.

[@IamROYALTY_]

This was DYNAMIC!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉!!!

[@marciamariarheingold5290]

I love you guys!!!!! Both of you are sooooo natural!!!!!! Just found you today!!!!!! This is my third podcast watch!!!!!!

[@darleneanderson7188]

I love the way the both of you respectfully present your reservations yet move forward in love when needed❤ healthy communication.

[@davidowino9439]

I've watched @ken and Tabatha for a few days now. I enjoy the realness in Ken and Tabatha as a married couple. Today I have subscribed to this channel.

[@SheSharpNotFlat]

So gooodd!! That third step is big for me. 👏🏽👏🏽so glad you spoke about the infatuation stage. That really helped me be thankful for my spouse after 10 years of marriage. Thankful for this podcast.

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

So glad!

[@ViRiXDreamcore]

This is such a great episode! I love yiu guys chemistry.

[@melissasuarez2574]

This was sooo good. Definitely going to do the premarital counseling before the engagement. And yes please do a podcast for Men to lead right. There’s not many for men to understand how to biblically lead.

[@laquandacoleman7083]

I had never heard of your podcast before but I asked god to be a wife, for my mate and I to be a power couple and all of a sudden I saw your podcast and I’ve listened all last night and today. Very very informational in helping me to check my boxes as marriage material

[@SimplySybella]

I like that they don’t edit anything out in their videos, not even the freudian slips or spontaneous disagreements. It builds trust to your viewers 🫶🏾 and normalises natural behaviours

[@LethoHali]

Thank you guys!

[@nuance10]

This is so good. Nona Jones spoke about High Octane Married Women at ILS 2023. Crucial for a heart check in this area. Husband and his wife (Nona) spoke on this. Highly recommend a look at this. She (the high-octane one) had to learn how to understand and respect her husband, she explained, as her career took off and saw how her husband's wiring didn't allow him to do things in the same capacity as her.

[@WAWG716]

Great content, I took away so much from this. I’m glad I watched it, even though I’ve been married for years. Hope you do all three podcast you mentioned.

[@ogonemazunga3904]

Been watching them for a while now ❤Their teachings do touch lives and helping me personally 😊Keep going you are doing amazing 🔥🔥👏👏👏

[@katerinehidalgo4009]

Enjoying your podcast thank you 🙏🏻

[@VanesaCristabel]

This is so raw. Thank you 🤍

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Glad you liked it!

[@lionelcyrillebomgning7681]

You're doing a Great job Ken and Tabatha. I really appreciate the different episodes, they are full of wisdom and divine advices. May God bless your Family, bless your ministry, provide everything for you and keep pushing you forward from Glory to Glory in the Almighty name of Jesus 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@IamIrene57]

These are some really great questions!

[@maritzaxiloj6709]

Love this! ❤

[@rocionavarro9580]

Congratulations to you our daughter and the both of you! I agree ☝️ I wish I had the same experience but my son is something no mom should live!

[@Kiaajordan]

Great authentic video, thanks

[@kdt272]

😂 Oh my gosh I really appreciate you two. Such candid moments and anointed all the way through.

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

😊 thank you

[@pleasedeliverme]

Omg yes on the pod cast to show and help men lead❣👍

[@brittanydiggins6145]

I love this podcast and I love how we can see you guys be real ❤❤❤😂

[@aurorahubbard-newman1470]

I love this!!!❤

[@sacosta1474]

Can I handle you changing? Depends on how u change..if u become a toxic person no..but if you change because you have evolve then yes 😇

[@AnanyaLikhi-qp5ej]

I love you guys. This adds so much of value in my singlehood journey:)

[@GuidedbyStar]

Hey y’all good tips! I’ve asked these questions in dating once early on because we connected in communication well so it worked with ease.

[@theresajeffers3982]

❤❤❤❤this been so much wisdom thanks so much 😢

[@jadewong1771]

Wow!! This was such a blessing and so fun ❤ God bless you both dearly!! Your marriage, family and ministry 🙌🎉 Sending love & prayers!! Looking forward to more 🤍

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Thank you!

[@carollehutjo7436]

i just found you guys recently, I love your Authenticity. Love from South Africa

[@Chris_Bukasa]

Wow I like it, God bless you 🙌🏾 Peace 😊

[@daseanclark5462]

This was a blessing thank you 🙏🏽

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Glad it was helpful!

[@aanyzhiadavis7186]

i’ve been watching video after video for a couple days now because God revealed who my husband was this past weekend. i cried like a baby because i’ve been abandoned by two fathers at a young age that i still need to heal from. instead of rejoicing and being happy like most people, i was sad and confused and i asked God, “what did i do wrong?” LOL 😭😭😭😭😭 i’m like a child hanging on His leg and at first it felt like He was giving me off to someone and leaving… i know it’s not true but it was so hard to accept, believe it or not. but i’ve finally come to accept what He has for me and God is constantly reminding me that He will never leave nor forsake me. My husband knew that i was His wife the first couple of weeks speaking to me lol 😅 you guys are such a blessing and have been helping me!

[@IomaraYeboah]

been tuning in for months and THIS is my favourite episode thus farrrr! the transparency, authenticity and humor are so refreshing. THank you 100x for the blessings in this episode

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Wow, thank you! ❤️🙏🏾

[@crystalshaw4524]

Love this ❤

[@valerylawson3525]

I love them so much!

[@joanajayi-majebi638]

This is soooo good 👌🏾👌🏾... especially the aspect on leadership. Please do the podcast on leadership 🙏🏾

[@AnnieOrji]

We are really getting a blessing out of your podcasts. #inspiration

[@yungkelvin6931]

Sure baby we do❤❤

[@SelmaMwatile]

Good for encouraging as you are leading as to our spouses

[@cherrieogandaga377]

This podcast is sooo funny and sooo relevant

[@hollyrosario5355]

So good❤🔥🔥🔥

[@cherrieogandaga377]

ORU Alumni here 🥳 Great school

[@erica8657]

Really good. ❤

[@Loymtyoki]

Talk about Christ centered relationships ❤❤❤... Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us, you 've just rekindled the desire to be married... God richly bless you

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Love that! Thanks for watching!

[@lifewithsuzzyq2039]

I enjoy listening to both of you, we need positive marriages today.

[@hetty7891]

Love the podcast…

[@sacosta1474]

You have to get the last word! You guys are soooo real😂😂😂

[@abischmidt1516]

This is so amazing and so helpful for my future marriage :)

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching!

[@asmbacke]

ORU alum here! She is going to have the time of he life. One of the best decisions I've made was going to ORU:)

[@shamikahartgrove6990]

I loved this on so many levels including the real real moments yall had lol Thank you for these questions. They are amazing. My follow-up question to this is...let's say the man I am thinking of marrying answers "no" to one of the questions...would you say that is an automatic deal breaker? Can you work through that? If you feel you dont want to continue on after hearing the "no" how do you exit the relationship in love? I know this might be a whole other podcast lol but was just wondering. Thank you so much in advance for answering when able🙏🏽

[@JustLoveria]

I love honest you guys are 😭😭😭😭

[@Doinglifewithkenandtabatha]

Thank you, we are continually trying to be HOT (Honest, Open, and Transparent)!

[@Stephanie-hl4fx]

I am learning alot

[@tarynbutler5864]

This is good

[@jessicacottrell1071]

❤❤ love this

[@diamoniqueconwell2307]

Such a honest podcast. I thank you all for your vulnerability in posting this. Watching your dynamic and the way you both got on each other nerves reminds me of the natural tensions we have because we are men and women. I HIGHLY encourage EVERYONE even you pastors if you haven’t already to read the Love & Respect book by Dr. Emerson. It’ll help you better understand your spouse or future spouse. Again, thank you for allowing us to view the imperfections of marriage, it’s refreshing. I would love to see a follow up of this podcast showing how you all addressed the small moments of indifference from this podcast. A lot of us are not familiar with positive conflict resolution and it could be a great topic. ❤

[@wanitawilliams5666]

This is Good Good 👍🏾

[@mindbodyandgoals6821]

I love this, especially when she says 'if I have an appointments at 8am I am there at 8.45' Hahahaha

[@thealainarene]

I laughed at this too😂