r/AmiTheA**Hole For Not Attending My Future SIL's Childfree Wedding And Starting Some Drama?

#AITA #redditparents #redditfamilydrama
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[@chelbanna]

"And then I had incels messaging me saying they agreed with me, so I knew I was in the wrong". Omg I died laughing XD

[@douglasluiz2225]

Yeah seeing that make me realise this is fake

[@dandytastic7465]

@@douglasluiz2225 You don't believe people like that exist on Reddit?

[@oceana3070]

@@douglasluiz2225 lol yes his complete 180 was just bit too smooth to sound entirely genuine

[@Tim85-y2q]

That's definitely the point where you have to re-evaluate your life choices for sure.

[@angelabell8326]

33 e rrrrrrrr4f

[@chrisester2910]

About the brother who called CPS... If he thought that the house was a mess and knew his brother was trying to do everything, having a terminally ill wife, why didn't he pick up a broom, do a load of laundry, bring a meal, etc? Just a little help would have gone such a long way.

[@lightwork11]

The father who sits on the floor with his kids on Christmas in his pajamas to open gifts. That sounds absolutely wonderful, warm, and loving. His children will have these amazing memories of their father and Christmas all of their lives. What is wrong with his wife and mother-in-law? Get the poker out!

[@cj-scorpio7225]

LOL...I’d get behind the poker or what we do when the furr babies are annoying (spray bottle or water gun). Personally I think water gun to MIL for that behavior would likely go viral. js

[@SapphWolf]

MIL and the wife sound like the kind of people who get annoyed at people who enjoy doing "childish" things because "that's not how adults behave!" or "that kind of thing is for kids!". How dare the father let his big kid out on Christmas and share in the excitement with his kids. No! He must appear and act like a mature adult all times! No wearing PJ's and enjoying the holiday! That's for the kids only! Sounds like MIL and wife need to get the sticks out of their ass learn to have fun again.

[@dianasmith8248]

You don’t have a child free wedding if a lot of people are coming out of state and expect everyone to come. That just doesn’t happen. Even if OP legitimately hates her SIL.

[@tooth2887]

ok its kinda funny how it took incels telling him he was right for him to realize he was wrong XD

[@WobblesandBean]

She's NTA for not going to the wedding. She's TA for literally everything else. She's an entitled mombie who seethes with hatred towards the poor bride simply for being childfree, and is cackling with glee after she convincing the rest of her family not to attend her own brother's ceremony.

[@tooth2887]

@@WobblesandBean your right

[@douglasluiz2225]

Was them when i see that its fake

[@arronmcallister6321]

@@tooth2887 86

[@sostrucking]

You caught that too? Lol.

[@greenjedi8]

Story 1. It's perfectly fine to want and to have a child free wedding.Its also perfectly fine to have a wedding where nearly all the guests have to travel. However, you don't get to complain if many of the guests, even close family, choose not to attend!

[@candlegal10311]

I babysat from age 13-21 I have watched well over 20 kids in that time. I still have each of those kids' birthdays on my calendar. I know their favorite colors and what sports they played. At this stage, the kids have all grown and are starting to have children or are on their 5th or 6th kids in some cases. I have even babysat some of those new babies. I was a kid and yet each of my kids left a soft spot on my heart and a streak of grey in my hair. I have celebrated their wins and cried over their losses. One of my girls was attacked (she got away before anything bad could happen) and she came to me shortly afterward to let me know She made sure to hurt the guy so bad: One he could not finish what he started and Two they found him in the ER an hour later. It was something I taught her and I was happy she was safe and so damn proud. One of my boys joined the Army after High school. He sends me letters every day when he is deployed and when he comes home he makes sure to stop and see me so I can hug the carp out of him and see he is still in one piece. these kids will always be my kids. I get Mother's Days cards and birthday dinners even though I have not watched any of them in well over 20 years. You can't watch a child grow up and not have a love for them at all. You can't do your job and take care of them without feelings. I'll love my Kids till the day I die.

[@elevin8858]

Retired teacher here. I have so many children despite never once having been pregnant. If all I was there for was the paycheck, I’d not have lasted and I sure as heck would not have spent thousands on my classroom, on food for the kids, etc.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Mom loves drama, she instigated an argument between you and your sister by running to her about what you said. My guess is Mom has been playing each of you against each other your entire lives.

[@JCC_1975]

I had the same thought

[@demonheart13]

Yeah, I fully believe that OP and her sister probably could have been normal people, but it's obvious OP and her sister have been gaslit by there mother for years for the mothers entertainment They need to realize who the true antagonist is

[@ruthpowell1944]

@@JCC_1975 YEP

[@beqiblaqheart9388]

You can have a childfree wedding. And parents can decline. The end.

[@savagesavie1701]

Thank you.

[@mistysgamingchannel9918]

Exactly

[@daniellalights159]

Yes

[@Cardez99]

Seems legit

[@theilluminati682]

And if the person organizing is angry that someone doesn't want to leave their kids at home for a few days, pay for their nanny.

[@internetfairi]

To the bf who said his gf was paid to be loved by nannies : Nannies actually tend to grow close to the children they take care of and take care of these kids like their own kids, often knowing a lot more than the children's own mothers.

[@JCC_1975]

Absolutely. I nannied for one family almost 30 yrs ago. Those kids have (all 5 of them) invited me to their weddings and introduced their children to me. I still get calls and texts from them. I loved them as if they were my own. I only worked with their family for 2 yrs. So I can only imagine how close a nanny and child would become after an entire childhood. The "boy"friend is just that, a boy who should grow up.

[@rollothecat2010]

I loved the children I used to babysit one night a week while the mother went bowling. We had fun.

[@-MaryPoppins-]

I nannied two beautiful little girls. I was even pregnant with my own little lady while caring for them. They are STILL in my life, and I would still die for them all❤️ I absolutely adore them. They even gave me the first birthday I’ve ever had (cake, and balloons, and all 😩). They are stamped in my life forever. Their mother is like looking in the mirror (she’s my size, my temperament, very easy going, and so so so loving to me). I don’t think I’ve ever felt so loved by a family not my own. Nanny’s aren’t paid to love. They’re paid to make sure no one dies and everyone is happy and healthy. The love, is a natural, beautiful extra that sometimes comes with the bond. Not always. But my gosh I’m so incredibly grateful for having formed this bond with these gorgeous little ladies. Can’t wait to watch them graduate and move on to live their lives ❤️

[@mysterygirl1606]

She was right to dump him for what he said about the nannies and her memory of them. If the nannies didn't like children they most likely wouldn't be good at their job nor would she get them sweets and make cards for them. They obviously cared about them if they left a lasting impression on her.

[@MainStar10]

@@JCC_1975 m. Spank look b ooo I

[@susanminer2088]

Things not to do at a wedding: 1. Propose to your significant other 2. Wear a white dress 3. Announce your pregnancy 4. Come out 5. Get in a fist fight 6. Drink too much

[@rollothecat2010]

Number 6 is done quite often. I went to a wedding where the bride did it. I wondered if that marriage would last. It did not.

[@cj-scorpio7225]

I’d only add one other thing (at least where I’m from) Unless it’s the Brides choice of colors, wearing head to toe Black is seen as a silent F/U & protest of the marriage.

[@Krisna_K]

@@cj-scorpio7225 I had my bridesmaids wear long black dresses! I just wanted something simple!

[@Cantmakeupmymindonaname]

​@@Krisna_Kthats why they said unless it was the brides colors 😅

[@Ventura574]

7. Don't start crap at the wedding because of perceived slight.

[@leila6735]

I sleep, eat, study, shower and will probably die to a backing track of your long videos. Your lack of random interruptions, well balanced opinions, and engaging storytelling voice are just something that helps me focus and calms me down all the time. It's kind of crazy that you have no idea who I am but I listen to like 3 hours of you talking every day. Like I've had dreams where you narrate them and we've never met ever. The internet is crazy. Thanks for the great content and hope you're doing well buddy

[@blacksnow648]

For child free weddings it’s actually hard to find a group babysitter… with over 20 kids yeah you try that she’s not the ah

[@em0via]

She is the ah she left out KEY details. You can hire more than one sitter

[@blacksnow648]

@@em0via you do know most babysitters charge 30$ per kid per hour

[@just_apotato]

@@em0via that shit is expensive as hell.

[@sixxygrrl]

If it was all local, I'd say that Op was a bit of TA. Since it's out of state, nah. I don't see that the information she left out is all that important really. She doesn't have to like SIL at all. That doesn't mean she actually intentionally caused any problems for her. That's probably why she left it out. Because she doesn't think it is pertinent to this issue.

[@HighLordBaron]

If you decide to have a child-free wedding you have to realize that some people might not be able to come. Or don't want to. That counts for basically all rules and events. You set rules, some people won't like the rules and won't come. I really don't understand why people think people are shitty for not wanting to come, as long as they do so politely. If they don't want to come they don't want to. You aren't bad for not wanting to go to some event.....

[@megaman37456]

To OP with the controlling parents: Don't apologize, in fact laugh in their face every single time they demand you bow to them in YOUR home.

[@rollothecat2010]

What awful parents. 🥶

[@sufferable]

Sister's wants-list story: OP didn't say she used the term failure in life. To me she's saying that is what could be the interpretation. OP's mum should not have squealed. It seems like she has her golden child and OP is second best NTA

[@SilverMaychan]

It is really annoying to talk to you mom and her only talking about your siblings problem.

[@FirstLast-dd5bx]

Her sister is pretty low on the desirability scale to draw a man as listed, he has better options than a directionless mother of 3 in her 30's.

[@nilianstroy]

And i guarantee sister's plan is to become a sahm.

[@adriennesimpson9679]

If the SIL going to have a childfree wedding out of state for most of the guests, and most of those guests have young children, then maybe she should hire professional babysitters.

[@shammydammy2610]

Or just accept it when people with children rsvp no.

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

@@shammydammy2610 I actually saw this post, op left some comments and it becoming increasing obvious she hated sil and had bad mouthed her. It wasn't over it being child free, it was about op hating the women. I think the sil was either from a lower income family since op called her a gold digger, but some thought it might be a race thing as multi day weddings are a thing in some cultures.

[@nilianstroy]

​@@WiseWordsbyWiki well isn't gold digging demanding people to pay for their wedding but wanting most of their family out of it?

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

@@nilianstroy ..... I don't think "children" count as most of the family.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

​@@WiseWordsbyWikiThose cultures are not usually quite so child hostile.

[@wplains]

Who harasses a dying woman with false allegations of abuse? I’ll bet OP’s brother wanted his child. He’s a horrible person. I would never forgive him - he’s a monster! As to the sister story, she may not be a failure but she sure is a an out and out hypocrite!

[@leeann5530]

I don't blame him for not wanting his brother in his life. It kills me that no one bothered to help them. Even just coming over to cook or do dishes and fold laundry. Cancer is a horrible and overwhelming thing for a family to go through. My husband passed from it. I think I only slept like 3 or 4 hrs a night for almost 6 months between caring for him and our 2 young kids. One with severe ASD. Hospice only has a nurse out for about and hour a week and there really is no other help unless family steps in. Luckily mine did as much as they could. My poor husband was so ill, just every horrible symptom a person could have with his type of cancer. There's no way he could have helped with our youngest. He still did everything that he the energy for. Even went out and insisted on changing my car battery for me, though he was struggling to get up the stairs at the time and it wore him out for the day. It finally got to the point though, that he couldn't get out bed. Watching him go through being eaten up by his disease was the one of the hardest things I've ever had to witness. To see a 6ft 210lb guy drop to 140lbs in less than a year, and losing all strength and independence, was heartbreaking. And as a bad as it was for me, he had to live through that pain. Ops wife sounds as brave as my husband was. It seems like both he and his wife we're doing everything in their power to help each other and care for their son on top of all the other things, like piles of paperwork, doctors visits, constant pharmacy runs, that come with illness. So if there's some dishes that didn't get done and stuff that has to be left for tomorrow, there's a reason. It's not like the utilities weren't on, or exposed wiring or something. No one's going to die if the laundry and toilet bowl, and build up of general clutter need to wait. Just ask my teenager who has only a passing relationship with a vacuum, leaves cups and bowls out for days in his room, and shoves empty drink bottles and dirty socks between his wall the mattress until I finally get sick of waiting for him to decide to stop living in filth of his own accord. He's still alive and gets sick less than any of us. Lol. Help if you feel like it's so bad, don't call CPS and heap more stress onto an already difficult situation.

[@teslagirl1]

EXACTLY! Just WHAT in the name of all that's holy would make contact with that exceptionally cruel and petty man and his complicit wife and the rest of their complicit family a BENEFIT to ANYBODY? Also...I distrust their reasons for seeking contact with grieving OP and his baby. Seeking it, btw, without EVER having SINCERELY apologized to the VICTIM of their vile attack...which they had ample opportunity to do. She didn't die the day of that vicious act of malice...she experienced the pain and fear that resulted from it during each and every one of days which remained in her tragically shortened life. That disgusting man made a dying woman's already overwhelming problems and emotional distress just that much worse. The only thing he could have done that would have been even worse than that malicious call to CPS would have been if he had come over himself and physically stolen the child from that poor woman's arms. Which is essentially what I think the a hole meant to do...just in a more cowardly way. I hope OP keeps the man away from his child.

[@Krisna_K]

Maybe he thought he and his wife would get custody if CPS took the kid away! That’s where my mind went as soon as OP mentioned his brother and SIL had fertility issues!

[@wplains]

@@leeann5530 That’s terrible. So sorry. Saw my own Dad die of lung cancer which was also awful. Cancer is a horrible disease.

[@tonyrock1983]

If information was purposefully left out to make herself look good, then yes OP us TA. While I don't agree with them, if a bride and/or groom want a child free wedding it's their choice. Parents have to decide if going is feesable. There's also the option of taking turns or having other family members stay with the kids at the hotel.

[@yoink6011]

Imma just say it.........”new borns”

[@HighLordBaron]

This goes for all rules tbh. If someone doesn't want to comply with the rules your set and doesn't want to come, well, shit happens. As long as they just politely deny I don't see an issue.....

[@zashgekido5616]

She absolutely has the right to decide what her wedding is like. And those parents have the right to decide what their afternoon is like.

[@omegasobsessions]

Everyone missed the part where it is a 3 day string of events, all of them child free.

[@dwightehowell8179]

@@omegasobsessions Dumping your kids for that many days plus travel time is not a great idea. Forget this event.

[@KaJEN01231990]

Go live with your dad. They are stealing your money. I applaud you for speaking up for yourself. Do not feel bad. I am a single parent with a daughter and I would never do that to mine. You seem like a good girl but you have been through a lot because of your mother and Gary.

[@alfr1]

Good! Leave the thieves that do nothing to show you love and caring.

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

Child free wedding: Why should everyone else run around, spend a boat load of money, leave your kids with those that they don't trust mostly when their kids are real young ones. Sil should have known this was the outcome in a family with parents full of lil ones. Also if someone called my kids a " problem " yeah I wouldn't like them or be nice when speaking about them.

[@fandomfan2800]

lol found op

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

@@fandomfan2800 umm no, but I've raised kids and know how hard it is taking them places or leaving them alone with a watcher 💖

[@thefeathertalks8956]

I personally was raised by live in Nannies and yes some of them my family still in contact with but saying that they were only in it for the paycheck just wow 🙄

[@BruinPhD2009]

The thing OP seems to forget is the nannies were important BECAUSE HER MOTHER DIED. Frankly, he’s more of a snob than he’s low key accusing his girlfriend of being; he thinks his middle class life is better than her upper class life. Or worse, he’s just jealous. Whatever he thinks of the nannies, by OP’s own account, they raised a nice, caring person. I was glad she ditched this guy, hero to incels everywhere.

[@draconicfeline6177]

@@BruinPhD2009 And also she's the opposite of a snob - she appreciated the people who took care of her and didn't just write them off like bratfriend did.

[@raz7573]

When I was a kid, a relative on my mum’s side had a child free wedding. The wedding was out of state. My sibs and I went for a long weekend at my paternal grandma’s. Grandma fed us lots of great food and sweets and we got to stay up late.

[@skyelindsey687]

Depending on state, the person moving to their dad’s place will cause the mom to lose the child support as well as have to pay child support. Screw Gary, his child, and the mother

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Poor OP. Their family is repugnant.

[@skyelindsey687]

The mother’s lilac dress. Lilac is very obviously a shade of purple and could not be mistaken for white unless one is colorblind. If there was a dress code and the dress went against that then she would’ve been the Ahole for wearing it. But there was no mention of a dress code so NTA

[@thebigmystery7841]

The social workers advice is actually very VERY spot on. When I left my moms house after high school to live with my dad for college (divorced parents) I had looked forward to it. My mom was emotionally abusive and my dad had always been my freedom the two times I saw him in the year. (Summer and christmas time) But...unfortunately my dad didnt know how to be a dad to an adult daughter. He missed out on being a cinstant parent, and I only saw him during "fun times" and when my mom was at her worst. So he didnt know HOW to treat me. One minute I was a best friend, someone hed share his hobbies with. The next, hed want to enforce rules or boundaries that were not appropriate for an adult daughter. Like wanting to control who I date, or control how my education was going. I WANTED him as my dad and appreciated him as my dad, but he had a lot of trouble not being just...a dad, and not defaulting on "the good guy dad/friend".

[@lorifiedler13]

If neighbor parks trailer on your property without permission, you can get it towed. But put up cameras. And perhaps ask the police community officer to stop by and remind him of your rights.

[@sostrucking]

Yes get a paper trail going and hopefully he stops and if not you have documentation. Maybe hurting his pocketbook with fines and restitution would make him stop.

[@hollywade6761]

Regarding the MIL wearing a lilac dress to SIL wedding, I have to disagree with you Markee. Lilac is perfectly appropriate and I am sure she looked lovely and not at all competitive with the bride. SIL was malicious in tossing her coffee on the dress and was being a total Bridezilla.

[@aichelsworld]

Lilac is not a very bright color. it's a pale purple and a classic color. Subdued and elegant. Perfect for MIL's.

[@Amy_The_unbearded]

It really depends on the shade of lilac. If it was a pale lilac, that could be an issue.

[@dustyrose192]

@@Amy_The_unbearded Have you seen pale lilac?

[@kmbaldwin5325]

Nanny story: YTA. I used to be a live-in nanny, and while I was obviously being paid to do a job, I also loved, and still do love, the family I spent nearly 2 years of my life with. You basically told her that she was unlovable and that the only mother type figures in her life were only there because they were paid to be there. Wow.

[@FrogsForBreakfast]

I'm not even a nanny. I'm an elementary school aid, and I love those kids after spending a year with them. Nannies are so much closer to the kids they care for. The paycheck is crap lol. We only do it because we love it.

[@tegantalks9612]

@@FrogsForBreakfast I feel this. I’m only a substitute EA and I still love the kids I work with.

[@markedwards3647]

OP is missing the part of the brain that humans use for empathy. OP should not be considered human.

[@termythewormy]

I'm a Girl Scout Troop Leader and only spend two hours a week with my girls and I'd die for each and every one of them. That poor girl needs to get out of that relationship, that guy is a jackass.

[@stephenwilbur810]

First time my brother ever made complaints like that and comments like that in front of my sick wife who's Diana cancer I'd tell him it stops now or you can get the f*** out of my life second time he made them he'd have to remove my foot from his ass via the top of his forehead and I'd tell him get the f*** out I no longer have a brother don't call me don't contact me don't even try and talk to me you threaten me in bad mouth my wife and the way our house is and threaten my kid no I'm going to show you threatening I'm going to promise you you ever come around me again they'll have to remove both my feet from your mouth after I show them up your ass and out your mouth no you're not the a****** and I will cut all contact with a****** brother

[@rebecca4480]

Not gonna lie but my evil side says call cps on ur brother to teach him a lesson on what he put u through.

[@thegoodkelly]

When the SIL is sick with the flu...

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

OP is not the A hole. She said she didn't want to go in the first place and got pressured to go to the wedding. I myself never went places my daughter was not welcomed.

[@tinalongfellow7170]

The brother calling CPS!!??!! I'm speechless Can't even call brother a weasel cos that would be discriminating against weasels Even cuckoo's have a better reputation than the brother and they kick other birds eggs out of nests and take over

[@Thatspookychick]

people love to threaten cps. I live with family atm, last year he decided to move in this girl (that he had a thing for) and her kid and bf. They were horrendous slobs, he knew this as they had previously lived with him once before. well, one day I had enough and said I wouldn't be cleaning up after them or cooking for them anymore because they are two capable adults who needed to care for themselves and their own child. It started a fight and he threatened to kick my family and me out and then call CPS because we would be homeless. It only got resolved because he realized how much he needed my and my husband's help physically and financially. The other people ended screwing everyone over and moving in with some of their family. We're still here but hopefully not for too long, I don't exactly trust someone who threatened us with something like that.

[@jjbud3124]

Jaysus! All that over someone's dress? What a non issue. When I got married I payed absolutely no attention to what anyone was wearing. I couldn't have cared less.

[@jaggirl]

Me either. I loved my dress soo much and I look fabulous. No one out shone me on my special day. No matter what others wore..😁

[@christinaostling3632]

Pajamas on Christmas: One of my cousins posts a family pic on Christmas every year...everybody (toddler, teen, parents AND grandma) is wear matching pajamas. Usually red and black plaid. It’s adorable!

[@My_scootie_world]

My siblings and I had a nanny for 17 years, that was 5 years ago. I call her at least 2 times a week, I see her as a mom and she sees me as her child. She taught me morals, how to cook, clean and a little Spanish. I spent the majority of my days with her for a decade and a half. I love my parents very much and I love her the same. Fuck that guy.

[@DivusMagus]

Marries into a family with a lot children, make it out of state with multiple days of events. Than be shocked that some parents aren't comfortable with leaving their children when out of state. I mean seriously imagine the stress you would have having a toddler that uses hundreds of miles away with no family. Even if you got a sitter what happens if something goes wrong you are so far away.

[@lianabaddley8217]

Right! I live in the West where the States are sooo much bigger than in the East. 10 hours to drive from top to bottom at least. My sister lives in Texas I think it Could take up to 2 days. I've told my kids that they can't live more than two hours away from me. In case they need me. Two hours is a Really long drive when your kids need you for an emergency. And yes I was kidding but then we actually like our kids.

[@lorenbell5701]

1st story: NTA OP has no obligation to go to any ones wedding.

[@fandomfan2800]

YTA

[@iamhungey12345]

She is an AH for everything else however.

[@shammydammy2610]

@@fandomfan2800 She has no obligation to attend. End of.

[@iamhungey12345]

@UCC27AFGpLpiL8qPlpKb2qDQ The story went beyond not attending the wedding you know. Also there's a post mentioning that there's a story in the bride's POV which is something to consider. If one wants to be fair, both should be taken with a grain of salt. Edit: Hmm...

[@janet6421]

When the SIL ruined MIL's lilac dress my first thought was, "Ok if lilac is too close to white, I will wear full funeral black with a widow's veil."

[@michaelplunkett8059]

And tell everyone that you are in mourning for the beautiful ruined lilac dress.

[@thegoodkelly]

All children are a problem at a wedding, specifically sitting still and silent for an hour. I solved this by hiring a 2nd grade teacher to watch them in a playroom in the church. Children were welcome at the reception so they could dance and mingle with their relatives. BUT, the parents understood that they must remove any child throwing a tantrum, crying creating a ruckus, or getting in the way of the wait staff. I had a wedding coordinator who was designated to tell the parents that they must remove the child until they can calm down. My reception was at NATO SACLANT Headquarters so we had muscle power to remove anyone too loud or causing trouble.No drama or screaming at my wedding reception, thank you.

[@hwiley8141]

This is the way to do it.

[@vanzy01]

🎵This is how you do it 🎵 a lot of people want the kids at the wedding but don't put any effort to keep the kids entertained or have a dedicated adult to watch the kids.

[@echomoon3381]

1st story, out of state childfree wedding. OH HELL NO!!!! No way would I go off out of state, being gone overnight or 2 days for anything, leaving my littles with anyone not family!! And I was never a helicopter mom!! But the idea that I would be far enough away that I couldn't get to my kid immediately if something happened? NOPE, not happeninh!!

[@wmdkitty]

You're entitled and rude.

[@echomoon3381]

@@wmdkitty Really? I'm rude and entitled? Considering you don't have the least idea who I am, your rude to make judgements on my personality. And if it's entitled to not want to leave my littles home with someone not family while I party hours away in another state?? I'll take it! If much rather be entitled than get a phone call them at one of my kids is in the hospital and not be able to get there quickly. BUT I am a mom, but apparently you aren't.

[@moimeself1088]

@@wmdkitty methinks you don't get what entitled means. Bride can have her childfree multi-day out of town wedding. More power to her. Not everyone can make it. Expecting *everyone* to turn their own lives upside down for her wedding *is* entitled. Those who can or want to can go for it. Not everyone will want to. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@shammydammy2610]

@@wmdkitty It's entitled and rude to decide to parent your own child?

[@fandomfan2800]

@@shammydammy2610 yes

[@groofromtheup5719]

I think you are way off base on the child-free wedding. If you want a child free wedding, that is a free pass to not attend for anyone with kids unless maybe the wedding organizers take care of the child-care.

[@Orinatl]

I suppose it depends on how close you are with the people getting married. I love my sister-and if my husband can’t watch the kids for a few days while I go to a witness a massive life milestone for her then I might as well be a single parent.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@Orinatl I never said you weren't permitted to attend, just that you get a guilt free pass if you want.

[@Orinatl]

@@groofromtheup5719 if you love you family. You shouldn’t be guild free about missing so,etching important to them.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@Orinatl if they love me and mine, my children wouldn't be excluded. Once you have kids, every thing else is secondary, and a marriage without children is a lesser marriage. The institution of marriage only exists to help in the raising of children, so excluding them from a wedding misses the whole point.

[@adrianacasares1130]

@@groofromtheup5719 No, it doesn't. People wants weddings without kids and is normal, it's a party and people dance and drinks, kids get bored in the ceremony and are noisy. It's OK to put the kids first if you had them, and is not a problem if you can't go to a party or a celebration because those kids. But ask the rest of the world to put your kids first and shame them Because they don't want to deal with kids or add them to their events it's just selfish. If you had kids you are going to lost a lot of adult stuff and events And this is nobody fault just part of life

[@jinxedblackcat4609]

STREAM THE WEDDING LIVE!! I hate this crap. No way am I leaving my kids with anyone not my sister. So I stream most of the weddings I attended now. The kids dress up we put it on the big screen and buy a pretty cake from Walmart....

[@dustyrose192]

That sounds like a great idea, you can also mute yourselves so you kids dont interupt

[@cniknik9863]

That's what my cousin did for family out of the country that couldn't attend.

[@shammydammy2610]

If you make your wedding childfree, do not be surprised if it becomes parentfree.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

People have a right to have the type of wedding they want. If they don't want kids there, that's their decision. OP starts out saying it's for TWO days, then makes it sound like it's going to be much longer. If SIL has enough time to figure out what to do with kids, then OP also has that same amount of time to arrange childcare for what she herself says is two days. She also had some very nasty personal things to say about the SIL, so it's clear that she's not being entirely honest about her reasons for not going.

[@jaggirl]

I bet you don't get invited to many functions Karen...🤣

[@shammydammy2610]

@@jaggirl I do get lots of invites. I turn most of them down.

[@krystalfloods6197]

I agree, I have kids and if I was in the same situation I wouldn’t go either. It’s not worth traveling and having to go to a wedding for a few days and find childcare. Obviously it’s her choice to not want children there, since apparently what her fiancé wants doesn’t matter, but she shouldn’t throw a fit when people with kids don’t want to go.

[@shammydammy2610]

@@hodgeelmwood8677 you make it sound like it's easy to 'arrange' multi day child care. It might be for some people, but for a lot of people, it isn't...especially for something like this when your usual emergency child care is also going to the event. As for the unkind words...sounds like princess bridezilla deserves some.

[@doloresreynolds8145]

Story 1: since sister in law wants a child free wedding, she should hire some daycare and set up a room for children so that parents can leave them there during the ceremony. That would make it easier for everyone to attend.

[@cherylmartin780]

Lilac is nowhere near white. SIL was being a bridezilla. The MIL is allowed to choose her own dress in a wedding for her son.

[@britvica]

In my country lilac can be white, purple and blue-purple

[@nilianstroy]

​@@britvica which country is that?

[@Cantmakeupmymindonaname]

​@@britvicalilac being light-medium purple or a blue purple makes sense, but being a white does not. Lilac colors are usually based on the flower lilac color shades

[@britvica]

@@nilianstroy Bosnia and Herzegovina , but in general: the whole Balkans. My grandma had white and light shade of purple lilac in the front yard. I think there is also a song about "bijeli jorgovan" from the 80ies, when I was a kid. Note: Lilac in my language is "jorgovan" , latin name is "syringa vulgaris". For photos, type the name in google.

[@britvica]

@@Cantmakeupmymindonaname just google it: "syringa vulgaris var. alba". I grew up with white lilac (meh) and blue-purple lilac (the most beautiful to me) at my grandma's house

[@kakauling]

Re: the childfree wedding -- I understand how OP feels. While some weddings are planned with "optional" multi-day events where a shared sitter is available during the ceremony and reception, I have been invited to multi-day weddings where everyone is expected to participate in every event with no exceptions for age, physical abilities, etc. We were not given the option to only participate in the wedding/reception. It was all or nothing! (Bridezilla insisted. I declined.)

[@draconicfeline6177]

Yeah I feel like it's only polite to, with a childfree wedding with multi-day events, also pay for childcare otherwise it's inconsiderate as hell. Multiple days is ridiculous - especially if ALL the events are child free.

[@jdd9993]

The Bridezilla should have taken into consideration the amount of children in her Groom's family and expect them to come from out of state and stay for several days. Even getting a babysitting pool together is problematic.

[@sassysavageshannon6205]

Bride has every right to want a child free wedding BUT to expect so many family members and so many children to travel hundreds or thousands of miles and leave their babies with friends is unrealistic. She obviously doesn’t have children so she has no idea what it would be like for some parents to be without their children for 6 days (4 days of wedding and activities & two days travel) and yes difficulty and possibly traumatic impact it could have on the children and babies to be without their parents. Especially breast fed children. That would be impossible. And physically painful 😖 And just because she declined to go doesn’t mean she forced other family members to decline also. That was their choice because they obviously didn’t want to be without their children either but we’re scared to decline first. Having one or more babysitters watching all these children in a motel would be hell for the sitter and the babies who breastfeed only. Not all babies drink bottles. My four children were breastfed and refused to drink from a bottle so I could hardly go to the grocery store for an hour without panicking my hubby and starving my lil ones lol so I was never away from my children for more than an hr or so until they were no longer breastfeeding. And it is very painful for a mother when she cannot feed regularly and pumping isn’t always helping and doesn’t always work. My opinion…. OP’s not the jerk. Children come first and I would never put my babies in others care and stress them just for a wedding. But like I said, just my opinion 😁

[@kristy6703]

@@sassysavageshannon6205 I like how so many comments said that they can just get a babysitter at the hotel or take turns with the kids. As if a stranger or friend at the hotel is better than a stranger or friend back at home. The family doesnt want to leave thier kids with anyone who is not family. And it sounds miserable taking turns with all the kids. Leaving the reception or missing the wedding after spending a lot of money to fly there? missing time with the rest of the family? and watching a handful of kids by the pool would be so stressful. OP did sound like a bit of an AH based on her attitude and some of her comments but not because she doesnt want to go to a childfree wedding. SIL is clearly clueless if she thinks having a childfree wedding when half the family has kids is a good idea.

[@Ando1428]

The bride and groom is at fault. She said child free. If they can't do child free then op stated that they werent going. It's not her fault that other decided not to go. She is responsible for her family. As the other family is too. They want op family to go and op family want to bring children they forced a conversation to try and do a baby sitting thing when she found out that these parents weren't going to not leave their kids at home. She didn't budge they shouldn't either. Op simply wasn't going. You can video chat if it's so important.

[@keerthana7353]

I’ve had my family attend many weddings and left us kids behind at the hotel with a grandparent or some relative to care for us. It’s pretty easy to do this. But I think all of you are forgetting that OP forced others to drop out of the wedding. That’s ludicrous. But hey if I were the bride I would just be happy to lower my wedding costs. The only people who matter are bride and groom and their parents and best friends. The rest can stuff it.

[@kristy6703]

@@keerthana7353 It may be easy to leave your kids at a hotel but that doesnt make it something the OP and her family are obligated to do. And she didnt force anyone to drop out of the wedding. She declined to go first and others followed.

[@RiceNspice]

If you're gonna host a child free wedding do it. Just keep in mind *who* you invite. You marry into a *big* family. Don't be upset when they can't 1. Afford to pay several nonstop days of babysitting 2. Feel comfortable leaving their young children alone. 3. Some people might be upset when it's children free when it's a large family like that. 4.Sometimes compromises have to happen. The ceremony child free, or a group pay for several childcare options. 5.If you make your inlaws pay, be respectful and responsible since they are trying to make your wedding happen. Op was an AH in how she went about it. However NTA if she doesn't want to go.

[@nailgirl94]

Just a friendly FYI for everyone. Pay attention to your Y.T. subscriptions! I’ve been subscribed to Markee’s channel for about a yr., maybe a little more & somehow got unsubscribed this week! I have NO freaking clue as to why, 🤯 It’s just so weird!! 🤔

[@RavenMacy]

It's happening on other channels too.... very weird 😐

[@jaggirl]

I've found that if I dont comment for quite a while. KZbin unsubscribes me.

[@ashleeferrari9611]

Just checked. It unsubbed me too

[@rollothecat2010]

It has to do with the algorithm by which the channel owners are paid by youtube. They are culling out non-active subscribers. You do not have to watch every video but you do need to watch on a semi regular basis. I do not think they will unsubscribe you if you do not comment. The number of viewers who comment is very low compared to those who watch. I first began using "online" forums long before there were PCs. (Dinosaur age turtle here.) At first, I lurked and read for information. It was maybe two decades of lurking before I felt enough confidence to make even a tiny comment. That was on a CNET forum. (Computer related only but one would run into weird stuff on there! Scary stuff too. At least one real psychopath.)

[@daniellalights159]

Hey, I just noticed I'm unsubscribed too. That's weird

[@naturalPaths]

Re: forks. Of course OP is TA for hiding the forks. OPs girlfriend is also TA for insisting her partner use one. She will not even ‘allow’ him to use a different fork that he will bring to the table himself. Girlfriend will not allow compromise.

[@victoriaherndon6857]

Food story: my brother had this problem with his roommates eating everything he made. Eventually he built up his spice tolerance and always spiced the absolute hell out of his food so no one else could eat it 😂 sometimes you gotta wake up and choose petty

[@___LC___]

Defensive eating is so damaging and definitely caused by families that steal food or highly restrict intake and options.

[@zukanator3555]

Racism is not biased...I was in a biracial relationship for 6 years, loved him and dreamed of spending my Life with him. His family was very religious, his grandfather was deacon at a Baptist church. From the get go, I was told in no uncertain terms that I was considered at most a "phase" he was going through, and I would never be accepted into their family because I was white. Was physically attacked on several occasions, a few times in front of the family church after Sunday service. Regardless of where it comes from, racism will always exists as long as ignorance exists. Really is sad though.

[@malayaanderson8222]

Some of the best weddings I’ve been to have been childfree😂I see why more and more people are doing it that way. Of course some people won’t or can’t go, and to me it’d still be worth not hearing the crying & tantrums on someone’s or my special day🤷‍♀️.

[@juliansandoval8222]

Exactly! Children don’t like weddings.

[@rollothecat2010]

My experience is that children do not like wedding ceremonies in churches. (Churches are scary to toddlers.) However, with good parenting, children love wedding receptions. It is a party. There is food. There is dancing. With bad parenting, children can be a problem at wedding receptions. In at least one case that was on reddit, a child drowned at a wedding reception due to bad parenting. They can get in the way of the waiters/servers.

[@srkh8966]

If children are not allowed at wedding events over several days, it’s a common courtesy for the bride and groom to arrange childcare for those who are from out of town.

[@llnn1238]

More and more people are doing it that way because this latest generation is the most narcissistic self-absorded group of wankers by far.

[@cj-scorpio7225]

All True, as well as, if you end up with a photographer who is a tad ignorant, half your pics are of someone else’s “cute kid”. That’s ALOT of money

[@juliecroak2239]

The op never said her sister was a failure in so many words. She feels like what she did say felt that she said it.

[@skyelindsey687]

The sister not meeting her own standards. They didn’t say she was a failure in life, the way they said the criticism was taken as she’s a failure. There was a miscommunication and instead of talking it through they stopped communicating all together. ES in that situation simply because they’re acting like kids instead of adults.

[@justasmalltowngirllivingin8453]

Server here. ........Kids at weddings suck!!! They get board, are loud, and in the way, get tired and through tantrums. She sounds like get kids are brats

[@VSE4me1]

MIL’s dress: the time for the bride to address the subject of what MIL was wearing was well before the wedding. Not the day of.

[@sandrasmith2409]

And Lilac is literally a shade of PURPLE! HOW CAN THAT BE TOO CLOSE TO WHITE!

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

When you drive without a license and cause an accident you get arrested. Plus, you would have been in MAJOR trouble if police found out you had lied. What in the hell has happened to society, that so many people no longer believe in taking "Personal Responsibility" for their actions;

[@rollothecat2010]

What kind of idiot is Daya to drive a car without a license? She got what she deserved. OP NTA.

[@2102082]

Having pulled extremely long hours at work before, such as starting at 3am and getting off around 10pm, sometimes even as late as 11pm just to have to start at 3am the next day, having food prepped at home makes an amazing difference, but coming home to find the prepped food is gone absolutely ruins what little is left of the night. At those hours, food and sleep was the only thing to look forward to

[@northeastoperations]

Xmas guy needs to apologize for incidents then Xmas morning, enter the room in a tuxedo. Then berate mother inlaw and wife for dressing like they are homeless.

[@nikkiwooden7876]

I'm laughing way too much at this 😹😹😹 MIL and wife would have an aneurysm if they saw the Christmas morning pics from my childhood in which my dad's "dressed" in tighty wighties and tube socks 😹

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

“You’re irresponsible and neglectful!”, say the irresponsible and neglectful parents.

[@feraldragon850]

The food raiding family, lol. I so get this as a mother of 8 kids. Totally lost my shit when they raided my left over pizza one night. I finally started buying an xlg pizza, ate a few pieces, then wrapped the rest individually and stashed it in the back of the freezer in a old garlic bread box. Other left overs went into all sorts of reused plastic containers in the back of fridge, my food was left unmolested after that. My youngest now 20 figured it out a few years ago, has recently declared it genius and uses the tactic to protect food from roommates, lol.

[@judyjohnson9610]

My youngest now 20 figured it out a few years ago, LOL He gets it now does he?

[@One.DeSanctis.]

"I have about three other sisters," is an oddly humorous statement. OP, maintaining her sense of whimsy whilst bringing the drama.

[@rollothecat2010]

"About three"...I would use "about" for a count of my various types of cousins because I really do not know how many I really have. All of my grandparents came from huge families. It is so confusing to have that many great aunts and uncles. (Old European country Catholics and no birth control. Not all came to the US. Some born before 1900. I am so confused. 😱)

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 1: OP is not the A-hole. I didn't go to events that my daughter was not welcomed at, because my kid was better company than anyone else in the world. I LOVE my daughter. She is old enough now to squirm away and do her own thing. I'll never blame anyone who wants to hang out with their kids.

[@josephbrown9665]

The mother in law getting offended by her son in law wearing pj’s on Christmas morning. Good god !! We have Christmas Eve dinner with our kids and grandkids and everyone is expected to be in pj’s for Christmas Eve dinner and gifts. Our kids love it. We have been doing it since the kids were little kids. We try to get the same ones for the entire family.

[@heleneclark563]

Definitely NTA!!! I can see if OP was at his in-laws. But he was in his own home. Like he said, he was in appropriate men’s pajamas. Hey, when I come home from work and don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m in my pajamas. And I will not change out of them if you happen to drop by for a visit. Don’t want to see me in my pajamas, then don’t come by my place.

[@sostrucking]

MIL is childish and controlling. Wife has no spine and will always take parents side because she dare stand up to them

[@judyjohnson9610]

Make your own traditions. It's not like it was something offensive, just that family's tradition. Don't invite MIL back if she is so hung up on it

[@brightonbabe2139]

Pjs are garments that you only wear with family and perhaps close friends at an event like this. It demonstrates loving intimacy. What a wonderful expression of the very best of family life. Please explain it like this and make this a teaching moment.

[@judyjohnson9610]

@@brightonbabe2139 Now that's an interesting perspective. Never thought about it that way.

[@adrianacasares1130]

Story 1 NAH. It's normal to had a child free wedding but SIL had to understand that not everyone can attend an event if it's childfree

[@seeingeyesseelies9545]

It's not her, it's you. It's your crappy parenting.

[@RiceNspice]

@@seeingeyesseelies9545 If I don't have the money to leave my kid alone it's crappy parenting. If I don't want to leave my toddler alone for days it's crappy parenting. If I don't feel comfortable I'm not going. Look asshole not everyone is a shitty parent.

[@seeingeyesseelies9545]

@@RiceNspice Who said anything about leaving your kid alone? No one suggested anything of the sort. Please learn to read. Child free means no toddlers and no mommy drama, not felony child abandonment. Stop trying to get credit for something that your supposed to do. 👏

[@adrianmcbride1666]

@SeeingEyesSeeLies so what do they do with the kids, temporarily end their existence? Not to mention at least one has very young kids. This was in no way feasible.

[@sarahmiller2431]

I don't understand the pajama thing. My whole family wears their pajamas Christmas morning and some of us even go to granny's house in pj's.

[@Deemetal123]

I"m a woman and I can't believe people can't read..he clearly told her he didn't like the forks..maybe those were the only forks at the time because he stated that when he got a different fork she got angry and kept putting her preference on the table..he wasn't lazy he did get a fork himself..please people read the story right...so you can comment correctly..the only thing he did wrong was hide the stupid forks so he wasn't forced to us a utensil he kept telling her he did not like..he should of filled the drawer with the right forks instead..

[@SilverMaychan]

Finally. This is the comment I was looking for. I had to go back because I thought I was wrong.

[@judyjohnson9610]

Yup, she is not innocent here. If she wants to use teeny tiny forks, go for it. Let him use what he wants. It's not rocket science

[@ZombieSazza]

The forks one is WILD, like BRO, have you tried TALKING, like COMMUNICATING?!? I swear some of these dudes have never tried using their words. I’m autistic, I can’t use cutlery with plastic handles (dunno how to explain it but my brain freaks out and my teeth feel really weird, it’s an odd sensation) they must be fully metal, or fully plastic, the cutlery can only be made from one material and cannot have handles. I told my flatmate this along with other stuff I can’t touch (sponges, foam, cotton wool, chalk etc etc, list goes on) and my flatmate just said “Oh, cool, so are these metal ones okay? Aight cool, I’ll use the cutlery with plastic handles, all the metal ones are for you to use” That’s it, job done, a whole 2 minute conversation communicating my cutlery needs.

[@rebeccabrown3252]

The list of people getting rid of their partner’s stuff… the guy who threw away his gfs tampons because he doesn’t like knowing she uses them.

[@stampandscrap7494]

Wow not seen that one

[@pamelalaub6204]

The brother was an AH to upset a dying woman because the house was messy. The husband knew taking care of his wife was more important than having a temporarily untidy house. Calling CPS instead of offering to help clean up was cruel. The wife needed as much time with her son in peace as possible. Completely ghosting the brother is healthy for him. He'd likely point out that despite having a newborn his house was tidy.

[@Roedygr]

Just tell her you don't like to eat with tiny forks. Make sure there are always a few big forks in the drawer. Stealing her forks gave her way more grief.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

The issue is he had but she ignored him, if a guy did this to his partner he rightfully would be called controlling and tell her to break up with him? 🤔🤷

[@Digitalfairy]

A child-free wedding for one whole day is perfectly doable, but a whole week of celebration, that's a circus! The problem is that I'd rather not go to child-free events because more often than not, the events are super tacky that aren't to my liking, and somehow people ALWAYS try to get me to drink alcohol even after I say no and why.

[@draconicfeline6177]

Yeah - they want """adult""" things but really it can end up like a 16-year-old's vision of adult. Childfree events can be a great break but some use it as an excuse to PARRRRTAAAAAY and it gets out of hand.

[@aletakey3600]

Op Daya was asking you to break the law. This wasn't a fender bender. She should have done her duty, got a liscence, ins. etc. As for the MA program: If she would lie, repeatedly break the law & lie to the authorities what would she do if she made a mistake at work, covered it up, lie about it or blamed it on someone else. If she was willing to unleash all the trouble of the car accident on Op, she would do the same on her job. People could die because of her in both scenarios!!

[@bluedragonfly8139]

When OP described the damage to the other driver's car I was *horrified*! He could have been *killed*!

[@mattiekarwin3667]

I fucking love that actual incels agreeing with him hit him harder than actual nannies scolding him.

[@roryemmons7929]

Someone has a right to have a childfree wedding, and I have the right to say I won't attend with the conditions of the wedding. I won't complain about it, it's a simple matter to me, and I don't see why they would complain either. The AH is the person who complains after saying they want everything their way without considering others needs. I do agree the OP was particularly nasty, where it should be pretty cut and dry. But it seems to me this whole family has a lot of issues, which is not rare around large family weddings.

[@williethomas6388]

NTI because who in their right mind would jeopardize their own driving record for a self privileged individual who doesn’t value friendship?

[@mariaherlihy2380]

With the fork one, the small forks came Back in and the SO kept giving them to him when she set the table, then gave him a dirty look when he GOT UP AND GOT THE ONE HE LIKED!! So, GF is being the azzhole now knowing he doesn't like those forks but STILL keeps putting them out and getting pissy when he gets his own.

[@anthonygilmour6236]

Yep if a guy did this to his partner they wouldn't definitely tell her to break up with him for being so controlling? 🤔🤷

[@ruthpowell1944]

OP could get into extremely serious trouble if cops had not been called and by stating that she was the one driving, she would get points on her driver's license which would make her own car insurance go sky high. She doesn't need this "friend" or anyone who says she's the idiot. Her "friend" deserves everything she gets. Perhaps her friend would not have had the accident if she had bothered to learn to drive and taken her driving test. Good luck her trying to get one now. Her mother is just as guilty as she is for buying the car for her when she knew she didn't have a license, insurance, and car was unregistered.

[@arianebolt1575]

1st one: WTF? OP is in no way obligated to show up. No one is. And you, the narrator, admitted you didn't have an opinion until you realized YTA was popular.

[@velveteenrabbit5940]

Markee doesnt even actually mention the posts official verdict most of the time including in that segment. You don't know if YTA was popular and from the sounds of the comments, the verdict was NTA Its called agreeing with something after you see both sides of an argument and analyzing facts If you were capable of that you wouldn't have made this comment, but here we are

[@Tyler171819]

“Let your brother see his nephew!” … “You mean the one he tried to get taken by CPS while his mother was dying? Yeah, no.”

[@katieb.1184]

for the MIL dress: uhhhh, since when do brides get approval of MIL/MOG dresses??? I had zero clue what my MIL was wearing until the morning of my wedding when she was commenting on how it was odd to her that my mother would wear something so sparkly and she got her so she didn't look like the bridal party or like she was trying to fit in. Some of my friends thought she looked like she was showing up to a funeral. I laughed because I had my Mom and her two best friends (my bonus moms) get really sparkly dresses when thats not their normal wedding gear... I love sparkles. I personally picked out my Mom's dress. We all have traditions and opinions... some think any pale color is wrong, some think sparkly is wrong, some think LBDs are tacky and funeral-like

[@mzjones333]

Child free: all the advice is awesome for the wedding but she is trying to have 4 day wedding events and activities that are also meant to be child free not just a couple of hours to a day event. Also, Are the parents paying for a wedding half their family possibly won't attend? The OP obviously does not care for SIL, but the SIL is being a bridezilla.

[@notmyfullname909]

Petition to make a video with all the stories listed at 54:00 💜

[@Markee]

I’ve already covered them in different videos, not sure if I could find them now to make one video of since people delete their posts often.

[@theginganinja3596]

What are the titles? I’m interested in watching them

[@Khaisz.]

@@Markee well if you already covered them, can't you just dig up the videos and take the stpries from them and make a video using those stories? Then it won't really matter if the original post is deleted.

[@rinpaisys]

The fork one...just like...could you not have discussed like adults and y’know...come to a middle ground where you could use big forks and she could use her small ones? I just....this seems like something that never should have been an issue? Some people like myself, prefer tiny utensils. Some people, like that OP, prefer larger ones. The obvious solution should have, from day one, been to have your own utensil sets. Never in a million years should it have been “steal her shit and hide it and lie”. Like what?

[@stephkais5613]

Story 1: Child free weddings (particularly child free ceremonies) make sense. An out of state, 4 day, children free event is another thing entirely. Brides/grooms are free to have a childfree wedding, but should graciously accept that some guests with kids will decline invitations or may drop out last minute.

[@pamelalaub6204]

My niece was a live in nanny for several years and did love the children. That was decades ago. She married, had an amazing daughter and got divorced. She is still in touch with the parents and now the grown children.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

If the forks are so small they are probably salad forks.

[@rollothecat2010]

Salad forks have shorter tines, a slightly shorter handle, but they are not teeny tiny.

[@treehouse2902]

*You have the right to a child-free wedding. You don't have the right to demand the attendance of those that have kids. Little sympathy for the OP, however, for other things. * CPS call: Sorry, this is one hill to die on. Stay no contact with the brother. Also, it is the parents calling, not the brother and none came to the funeral. *Get a RTO against the house buyer.

[@alexius23]

Future SIL should have provided baby sitters with a common location

[@bluedragonfly8139]

Why? The parents could just as easily have found sitters and split the costs themselves.

[@shammydammy2610]

@@bluedragonfly8139 Or the cheapest option...not going.

[@mdheartsuju]

Are those strict parents exactly the same age? What was the older parent doing hanging around the younger one? Ridiculous

[@calebsherman886]

Story 1: are you fucking kidding me? How does this make them an asshole? Nobody is OBLIGATED to even go to the wedding in the first place?? It costs money to go to a damn wedding especially considering it's out of state. Nobody here is an asshole. People have the right to refuse something like this

[@Doublemonk0506]

So you didn't hear the manipulation that OP? OP manipulated information to paint themselves in a better light. OP also deleted a comment calling SIL "a gold-digging whore"

[@JustAGirlOnline]

That "thats what she said" joke about 11 minutes in f killed me, I was just trying to play of PLA and then I started to cry laughing

[@Ashenicky2009]

I freaking hated it whenever I was a teenager and I had some snacks and would leave them in the kitchen for later and every single time, my pig of a brother would eat it all. I was so mad and brought it up to my mom and she acted like it wasn't a bad thing and I shouldn't be upset. Just to add, my mom is a really great mother and now an awesome grandma, but she isn't perfect and that's one of the things she wasn't perfect with. Pretty sure my brother never grew up mentally and would still eat anything he came across not caring who it belonged to.

[@romanec.c.petiot9876]

You should have gotten those infamous sugar free gummy bear

[@alisonquentin3287]

Totally, my adult brother lived with me for a while and this remained a constant argument, I his chocolate in a tampon box, he found it and still ate it!!!

[@TheVeggiekat]

The commenter who suggested adults take turns babysitting at a child free wedding - NO. DO NOT EVER FALL FOR THIS. Speaking from experience as a parent who always got what was supposed to be the first hour and then have another parent show up so I could eat, get a drink, and socialize, no one ever shows up to take their turn. Worst case scenario the other parents don’t even arrange for food for their kids and message you to order room service and “they’ll pay you back”. Never happens and then they play it off that you’re the AH for being mad.

[@rannvamacdonaldarnskov4794]

Please markee make a compilation of all the crap partners hiding/disposing their partners stuff.

[@nicolasdelucchi2720]

Those are the scum of the Earth. I second that motion.

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

Yes! I saw the ahole list and I haven't heard so many of those. I need to know what happened!

[@leebrown6247]

It is NOT her wedding. It’s the wedding of her AND the brother.

[@WobblesandBean]

First story: I said it once, I'll say it again another ten thousand times: There is NOTHING on earth more toxic than the Mommy Cult.

[@pinkglitter93]

Exactly! They act like little Tommy and little Susie should be everywhere, even if not welcome.

[@rollothecat2010]

And Tommy and Susie NEVER do anything wrong even when they do something horrid. Bad parenting=rotten kids.

[@haileydawn5667]

How is the 1st story "mommy cult" someone with kids shouldn't have to find childcare for 4 days because of a wedding...

[@pinkglitter93]

@@haileydawn5667 Then they should graciously bow out, without bad mouthing the bride because she didn't want her screeching offspring at the ceremony!

[@shammydammy2610]

@@pinkglitter93 They tried to bow out.

[@leagg9684]

That brother should have never called CPS he should have called a cleaning service. He should have helped his brother out in his time of need instead of judging him when he was literally just surviving he is not the a******

[@KristiContemplates]

Story #1; NTA. SIL has issues with OP, therefore organised a 'child-free' wedding to put her and the rest of fiance's family in place. Blew up in SIL's face 🤦‍♀️