r/InsaneParents - Jealous of Sons GF 💔🤮

[@Doctor4077]

“You know Korean children often give their parents gifts and/or money when they get a job.” “Dad we’re from Michigan.”

[@spongecakes1986]

Yeah I was wondering if they're even Korean or if the dad just found that fact online and tried to use it against his kid. It's not really clear whether they have Korean ancestry, but based on the fact that they were texting each other in English, and that the "kid" had to be told this as an adult, I think it's fair to assume that there's at least some level of separation between the family and Korean culture and traditions, so pointing it out seems irrelevant either way

[@WelcomeApathy]

Also, even if they're from Korea, the OP said they were saving for a wedding. In many cultures, including Korean iirc, the parents pay for the wedding. I don't see the dad being traditional in that respect, only when it benefits him. And frankly, I doubt any of that money would have gone to the mom. It just reaked of lies so he could get money - considering he wanted it into his account. Think dad is in debt for something? I do.

[@Lastofthesigilites]

"Have you ever eaten a cat dad? NO? BECAUSE YOUR NOT KOREAN!"

[@bigd1348]

Yeah being a michigander rules🎉

[@frtard]

IMO, if you're explaining something cultural like an encyclopedia article to your children when they're already adults, it's not really THEIR culture; it's YOURS.

[@F0xtrat775]

Wooo, more adults acting like children! (Exempt for click, he's an adult, doing adult things)

[@Ecofriendlyant]

He's good

[@CEOofTired]

Probably the only sane adult in this society tbh😂

[@yamato9753]

The inner child shall never die!

[@Localcourtjester4hire]

And more children acting like adults! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@Arch-Luster]

Ah, yes absolutly adulty things... name me one adult who doesn't read reddit.

[@Seal0626]

I feel so bad for Ms. Gray. That's some serious "there's no such thing as ADHD, you're just lazy" "parenting" going on there. They clearly think that if they're cruel enough, she'll stop being neurodivergent. I really hope she managed to escape.

[@EspeonMistress00]

Saaame. I wish more comments brought that up

[@nicoleheppner6431]

Y'all are reading this way differently than me! I have ADHD. That contract just wants her to seek treatment/therapy to manage her ADHD, as well as helping out her family. Everything about that contract suggests that her parent has tried everything else to motivate her, and is now trying (moderately) Tough Love.

[@Jo-sg8qb]

​@@nicoleheppner6431 same here, I also have severe ADHD and I would have needed such a contract at that age

[@robingrimm3443]

There’s some folks responding with variants of “this looks like tough love and I would have needed it at that age” and it’s driving me a little bit insane, as someone with ADHD. If you needed financial abuse and threats of eviction in order to complete a family’s household chores while going to school, no you didn’t?? You needed coping mechanisms then and you need therapy now. “If you sleep in we’re preventing you from going to college” is not an appropriate way to teach teenagers how to be adults and this contract is horrifying

[@veronika2323]

the amount of times I heard that phrase since I was old enough to know it's meaning... sad thing is my mom is genuinely so awesome and supportive

[@MrBe56]

That contract makes me furious. It looks like a parent who doesnt know anything about ADHD and Autism. I really hope OP is able to find real support.

[@CarlosThadeu]

Someone said that they went to the post and OP said they moved out, which is a good start

[@junkabella6324]

TBH, i truly believe the parents just wanted the kid to move out and this was the only way. I see it as a UNO reverse. The parents take care of the pets, that might be hers. They take her to her part time job. Pay for her car and gas. Do groceries and cook food. And kid just loiters all day otherwise. Complains of being out of shape and never exercises. I would hate having a kid like that at home, let alone an adult!! They just wrote out what everyone else in that family contributes. And that was too much to ask from her?

[@danferrusquia2819]

They’re Seventh-Day Adventists so I’m surprised they even believe in ADHD and Autism tbh

[@kosha4735]

SLUGTERRA WOOO

[@RealCoolstriker64]

@@junkabella6324people with ADHD (adolescents especially) can have a hard time waking up in the morning. It is not only possible but likely that this person would wake up to having hit all 5 strikes.

[@whisper3856]

As a kid who was beat with a belt and smacked quite frequently by my parents, I’ll tell you this: It doesn’t make the lesson any better, it just makes your kid afraid of you. Years from now, when they’re an adult, they’ll remember how you beat them, not what they beat you for.

[@indigo.volvoxx]

unfortunately some parents want their kids to be afraid of them for whatever reason. i never remember what i did wrong, just the punishments.

[@omahabrowneyes]

I think this might be why I (15) always get nervous when my mom yells despite it not being at me and even rooms away

[@krillrule99]

I’m very sorry that this happened to you.

[@sassylittleprophet]

My dad recently came to my door and "apologized" for working too much and not being there for his family, and all I could think was, "Dad, I was terrified of you whenever you *were* home." And then he did kind-of a 180 and was like "well, I just spanked you kids, my dad beat me until blood ran down my back" implying that that makes him a good father, even though he was "apologizing" for being a bad father. And all I could think was "okay, thanks for not beating me until I bled I guess" but like he'd still hit my siblings and I hard enough to leave marks that lasted for two or more days (more for my siblings, and I know for a fact that he beat two of my siblings until they bled, so yeah, his point doesn't count). Just ugh. I hope I never have to see my dad ever again. The only reason I answered the door is because he parked on the opposite side where I couldn't see the family car, so I didn't know it was him when he knocked (his knock was gentler/quieter too, so I didn't recognize his knock either like I usually would have).

[@kimmyb8276]

Yep. My dad did this to me and I now have ptsd around men and raised voices. I flinch if anyone raises their hand or is behind me. I'm 42f and still cannot sleep with my back to the door

[@FederalKenobi]

I have a love-hate relationship with this subreddit because "Omg, it's so relatable" but also "oh... It's relatable..."

[@fullmetalouroboros3857]

A great description

[@grenade8572]

I'm sorry. My mom was only 10% as bad as the least bad parent in that subreddit, but I'm still messed up. (Mom lived in an abusive house and did her best to break the circle, but she's still overcontrolling and discourages me to try anything in my life, even decorating my house... I'm mid 30s). I hope you can recover.

[@insertherealotofeyeemojis2185]

Leave your home. (probably idk your life)

[@LittleMaitea]

„Haha I knew that one … I … knew … that one… ok more therapy for me please!“

[@waffles3629]

Mood. Laugh and cry.

[@jeremyblade7561]

"What are we supposed to do with 50 click plushies?" Fill your bed and jump in, set them around the house so one is always watching, fill a clear bag and have the most adorable bean bag chair in existence... The possibilities are endless.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Build a nest out of them!

[@skellington8090]

You could also fill a ball pit with one, and swim around pretending to be a shark.

[@CompressedDuck]

@@skellington8090 Throw in a blahaj while you're at it.

[@skellington8090]

@@CompressedDuck Great idea!

[@alliekat1431]

Yeah! You could even fill a kitty pool with them!

[@melinacat5958]

"I will never talk to you ever again!" Yeah, that's what the restraining order's for

[@Ramsey276one]

High Karen energy readings "I'll never purchase anything here again!" Let's have it notarized, PLEASE!

[@grey.themusiccat]

@@Ramsey276one "ill never purcha-" GOOD

[@contra1124]

She just had to have the last word.

[@sebastianb.3978]

​@@contra1124Narcissists☕️

[@tsukidakedo]

The western concept of “Once you’re 18 you either find a job or get out of the house” or anything similar is BIZZARE to me. Like, that’s YOUR child?? That YOU choose to have??? They didn’t ask to be brought to this world and now that they have entered legal adult age, they gotta go….? When I was 18 I just graduated high school a year ago and mentally, I was still just a kid - immature and THINKS I’m big enough already. Now I’m in my 20s doing my internship, still living with my parents, who occasionally joke on how they’d be happy if I live at their house a bit longer before eventually getting my own.

[@endless_song]

To be clear, this attitude does not represent "western" or even American culture. Sure, there are some dysfunctional families who act that way - but they are definitely the minority of Americans. There's a reason those stories end up on KZbin - because they're sensational and not at all our cultural norm. Remember that drama sells. No one in my own American family or any family I know shares the 18 and out opinion.

[@weasel7491]

Yeah, I noticed a small discrepancy between my coworkers from Asia and my own experience. While they have their own cultural problems regarding parents, all of them were like "??? Why would I leave my house at 18?? I stayed at home until mid 20a?"

[@tsukidakedo]

@@endless_song I see! Then in that case, that's good to know! I'm not generalising or anything, it's just that I've seen other videos talking about this, and I find that it's so much more common in the opposite side of the world where I live, hence "western". I think it's unfair to treat your children like that. At the same time, I understand that having an adult child living at your house, who doesn't contribute to anything (despite being capable) while you the parents are getting older and less energetic, can be frustrating. There's a saying in my country that translates to "(living like) an alive lizard", used to describe those who are already adult and can work to help with the bills but doesn't do anything and gets food and shelter for free. I think there needs to be a balance.

[@tdelioncourt1268]

Pretty sure it's the point, it's not kids they wanted, or they wanted a cute baby without seeing the full picture. But unlike pets you lose interest of, you can't just forget them on the side of the road, so they will only do the bare minimum. + it used to be easier to live alone a few generations ago so leaving house at 18 was a sign your kid is doing good in people's minds. Now even if 18yo want to they can't do it as easily

[@sunnyandthechlo]

@@tsukidakedo There’s also a concept of ‘Once you have a kid you’re stuck with them for 18 years.’ And I always think ‘who can move out at 18 anymore?’ You’ve got them for the rest of your life, I can’t imagine just stopping caring what happens to them. How could you kick your own child out? Or what if you have a child with disabilities that requires lifelong care?

[@matthewboire6843]

“My child was napping so I told them their father died” why is THIS the most tame thing in the video?!?!

[@HeheHi-st7yq]

their*

[@matthewboire6843]

@@HeheHi-st7yq fixed

[@jordancarey105]

r/InsaneParents is always a great reminder that, relatively speaking, my parents were actually pretty chill lmao

[@CEOofTired]

Yep, same lol. I'm grateful my parents don't need to be on reddit😂

[@TheDopekitty]

Same, lol

[@heytrace]

same

[@rac1equalsbestgame853]

Same lol

[@ninawth]

For me it's always a great reminder that I'm not the only person out there with parents like this and that this type of behaviour is also abusive

[@Umi_D_Skunk]

Parent/s: *Verbally/Emotionally/Physically abuses child* Parent/s: *Love bombs Child to get them to do what they want* Child: *Grows up and becomes a people pleaser, even for their genuine friends* Parent/s: "Why do you let people walk all over you? You should stand up for yourself." Or- Parent/s: *Verbally/Emotionally/Physically abuses child* Child: *Grows up, cuts the parents off and finds people that actually care about their wellbeing* Parent/s: "Why do you never talk to us? We did everything for you. You're so selfish, most children don't even GET to have parents." Child: "You manipulated me, hurt me, and punished me for things YOU did." Parent/s: "Because we LOVE you!" Child: "If that's your idea of loving someone, I don't want to see how you hate people."

[@myself0510]

My 6yo has a tally chat for when I raise my voice. I'm so proud of him for standing up for himself. Time to remind him to add a tally... 🫣

[@Bunny_Bill]

Basically. To quote a banger song, "If this is love, I don't wanna be loved"

[@MoniqueDamphousse73]

That's abusive as well, as it's manipulation, and much of the time it's even gaslighting.

[@samuelbarber6177]

Well you know what they say. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

[@xLostInFirex]

Parent(s): "You have to learn to stand up for yourself!" Child: *stands up to abusive parent(s)* Parent(s): *surprised Pikachu face*

[@C_rps30fTh3H34rt]

dude parents are scary. like what do you mean you have extreme control over a child, and can do anything to them you want and raise them however, and rarely get punished for it?

[@LittleMaitea]

In some countries you can still punish/sue later in life … And you don’t count as their property, there! But sadly I believe those countries are on the rarer end and it’s relatively new so you still have to fight to brake the circle

[@C_rps30fTh3H34rt]

@@LittleMaitea yeah i know lol but it is this way where i live, the land of freedom to sue people. also, here justice isn't always completely served, even with proof. i've never left the usa, so i'm not sure what it's like in other countries, but on the flip side that's cool asf that countries do exist like that :D

[@sassylittleprophet]

​@strawberrygi_rl not even that, a lot of formerly abused kids might not have the mental fortitude to go through a long court process... and if you lose and they go free, then what? Then they know you tried to sue them or get them locked up, I'm sure they won't stalk you or take it out on someone else in close proximity /s. I swear, sometimes it feels like there is no justice in this world.

[@LittleMaitea]

@@C_rps30fTh3H34rt where I live only thing prohibiting us from pure individual „freedom“ is the ban on guns … but honestly I am free to go out with out having to worry of being shot And lots of bureaucracy in the sense of many forms to fill for any important stuff But we have free healthcare, jobless security, and all children have the right of an good education but on the otherhand they have the obligation of going to school! So home schooling is banned except for rare illnesses cases but then the government is reliable to get a private teacher for them. My parents were the last generation treated as property…many are breaking this circle now but it’s hard and needs time… So it has it’s good and bad sides The USA are a beautiful country I already visited a few times (~ 14states total) But to be honest the more I learn about what actually happened/still happens … I am not coming back as it’s saver in some 3rd world countries in some aspects

[@C_rps30fTh3H34rt]

@@LittleMaitea that's awesome, i wish the us was that way, especially the healthcare thing, your country slays fr :D

[@M_M_ODonnell]

The parent with the "contract" seems to be of the "people with ADHD don't actually process things differently, they just need to be more strict and harsh with the sort of scheduling tools someone without ADHD might find helpful" mindset.

[@veronikamajerova4564]

I mean, it CAN help to have fixed schedule, so you know when to do what. That´s not a problem, and I imagine plenty of people with ADHD benefit at least somewhat from that. That being said, that schedule should be a) reasonable, and b) willingly agreed upon by all parties.

[@anonymouscommentor411]

​@@veronikamajerova4564I think the issue is that this isn't just a schedule. You can get a schedule for all kinds of things and even have reminders, but the difference is that you don't lose your housing or lose the opportunity to go to college as a form of punishment for not adhering to said schedule. While some will say it's motivating, but that's mentally going to drain you overtime if you're always scared of losing such things. It's literally just trading one issue for another without creating any healthy habits.

[@NoirRaven]

The contract mom: She mentions ADHD. Sounds like she's fed up with her daughters _symptoms._

[@crowdemon_archives]

While doing little to help with the situation lol

[@NoirRaven]

@@crowdemon_archives people always interpret it as a personal failing that they need to stamp out of the other person. 😩

[@simsgirlgem]

If that’s true I as someone with adhd and autism my dad would hurt this mom

[@Przemko27Z]

And, Jesus Christ I just realised this, the fact she had a contract like this means she was itching to just tread over her child's life, but legally couldn't threaten them with eviction.

[@Gralind]

That or she's fed up with her daughter using ADHD as an excuse to only do and live as she pleases and mooch off of her parents. Without knowing full context it's hard to judge. It sounds horrible, but at the same time it could also be an entitled brat who constantly goes "Omg mom, I've ADHD, you can't ask me to do that.. I don't have to , I have ADHD." and now cries on reddit when her parents "insanely" dare to start setting boundaries when she's off age.

[@fx2thegoldenwarrior]

If he ever gets rid of the wig I will cry. That wig is basically a mascot at this point.

[@BoxOfToasters]

The day that the click gets rid of his wig will be his doomsday.

[@pranavghantasala6808]

Click wig plushie coming soon???

[@ItRemindMeOfHome]

Wig plushie when?

[@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newrose]

Wigged Click confuses my shmexuality 😭 ❤

[@Ria__2010-l3z]

@@Bethsabee_Sheba_Newroseyour what?

[@skrunklylittleguy7]

There's a difference between "acting like a child" and "acting childish" in my mind. The second is fine (like Click just being silly) whereas acting like a child (i.e. immature) is often harmful. If you can't act like a mature adult, how do you expect your children to grow up to be mature, responsible, and respectful? All children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children. (Thank you Click, you never fail to make my day amazing.)

[@haz6908]

Personally I prefer "ChildLIKE" for the harmless kind and "ChildISH" for the harmful/annoying kind. But I agree! A lot of things children do are just out of seeking joy and meeting your needs, and a lot of others are indicative of emotional and social immaturity.

[@Boundwithflame23]

Judging by these posts, the kids do still end up being mature adults despite their parents.

[@skrunklylittleguy7]

@@haz6908 That's probably a better interpretation!

[@skrunklylittleguy7]

@@Boundwithflame23 Very true, I'm sure it hurts to be more mature or mentally intelligent than the people who raised you.

[@geraldgrenier8132]

The main difference you can recognize when it nessary stop and deal with things seriously

[@annasaysthings]

A lot of these "insane parent" moments are actually a form of emotional incest where, usually mothers, start treating their children as if they owe them something a romantic partner would, and behave like crazy toxic girlfriend. This imprinting is usually caused by bad marriages or divorce and other combinations of lonely middle aged women. My mom had this, and once she went through therapy and accepted that none of her marriages or love life ever went the way she wanted them, she learned to just accept it and enjoy life as herself, without thinking about her worth in terms of whether or not she could successfully keep a man. I really realized that this was the case when she was doing that whole "you have to choose between me and your first boyfriend" thing when I was 22, and wouldn't stop abusing me unless I broke up. We healed, it's good, therapy and stuff, we're besties again, I have a stable partner, buuuut it did take me a while to realize that holy f*** divorce really f***** my mom up 😢 and I was too young to realize it (mom and dad divorced when I was 19 because he cheated). Looking back I should've realised, because she kept repeating that I was going to abandon and leave her (like dad).

[@dorianlamb8824]

this! comment should be way more popular. emotional incest with mothers is horrifically common, and it is so insidious and can even border on more "classic" incest that media paints it as. for example parents insisting on watching you change/barging into the bathroom when you're in it/constantly commenting on your body and its attractiveness or lack thereof. it is so fucking creepy and the crazy thing is if you confront this sort of behaviour they will have no insight whatsoever that this is insane, creepy, and wrong. she will depend on you for everything between taking care of other children or even adults in her life including herself, money/housework/doing basic tasks for her including things that are very private that she as an adult woman needs to do by herself, bring up your sex life unprompted, push an expectation to read her mind and make her feel special, etc. it is exactly like a toxic romantic relationship with extra bad features, including the fact that you do not want this relationship at all. the best solution to this level of unconsensual emotional incest (and usually parentification tacked on there) is to exploit her dependence on you to gain your independence. make her concede you your dignity and life under the threat of no longer tending to any one of her wants or needs (you can just stop anyway after the fact, but the leverage is important to have when trying to leave abuse). also not a particularly useful strategy in any way but can be a way to entertain yourself through the mind-numbing torture of existing with her in your life-- play up your own side on this inecstuous madness (or controlling madness, or anger, irrationality, etc.). when she does something fucked up and insane, copy it in a way that's very concrete and hard to misinterpret. if she is prying into your sex life? pry into hers harder, outcreep her. it probably won't make her reevaluate her actions but it will trip her up and make her immediately give the hypocritical "why are you saying crazy things to me?" though i'm of the hope that maybe some of them are not so far gone and that this subtle way of calling out the insanity snaps them into normal reality, where parents aren't creepy and controlling as shit.

[@weasel7491]

My mom, but instead of getting better she got worse. But I remember at 15 when I realized how much I was groomed into being her partner more than her kid. It's soul crushing and when you were expected to be their husband practically when you were 10. I forgive at a distance. What she went through was awful, but she cannot safely hold a relationship with any of her kids again...

[@sassylittleprophet]

For me, there was emotional incest from my dad, which I realized just recently and it made me feel sick. He loved me more than my mom and my mom was jealous of me because of it. Both of my parents were very abusive.

[@Ramsey276one]

YIKES Hope you are doing well now

[@kylajensen1957]

Emotional incest is a gateway ticket to horror. I started writing a story boils down to "Selene and Endymion" but Selene is like these toxic boy moms. She simultaneously infantilizes Endymion and expresses attraction to him, but he's so sheltered he completely misses the sexual angle and sees Selene as a proper mother. It's to the point that when he spills soup on himself he thinks nothing of her being in the room while he's in the middle of changing his shirt and she proceeds to wrap her arms around his waist in a very yandere way while he is standing in front of the mirror shirtless (he's sixteen). It's fricked up.

[@hannahschrenk7981]

I'm no expert, but I thought in cultures where the kids are expected to financially support their parents once they're established, it's also expected for said parents to pay for education and such for the kid so they have an easier start into adulthood. But that guy said he had loans and was saving for the wedding. So clearly the dad wants the benefits of this tradition without keeping up his end of the bargain.

[@Cc81727]

Literally this. My parents expect me to take care of them in retirement, so they’re paying for my tuition and letting me stay at home after college while I work so I can save money towards a down payment on a home

[@dixersdc3963]

My son is 9 and very easily overwhelmed and takes his emotional support demon he called Toast to school with him. He has been doing so much better getting through the day without a meltdown. So, like, thank you for the cute demon with toe beans.

[@girl1213]

I just love the insane parents who go on a dramatic rant in some public form to embarrass and humiliate their kid, only for the kid to say something along the lines of "Okay" and the parent continues the drama because they didn't get the response they wanted, only to find they're talking to a void. Seriously you're not in a theater and no one pays to be part of this play

[@chaoleo]

"No one pays to be part of this play" Have truer words ever been written?

[@TheSilly-Animations]

Sometimes people make me wonder if they should be parents.

[@laraprisma6381]

Same

[@Iamaperson-f3r]

They probably shouldn't.

[@Alphaismyname]

As Cliccy said LICENSE FOR HAVING KIDS

[@josephcroeniangamer3727]

Sometimes? When the extended family got broken and turned into the nuclear one, the only condition and secure support for a kid is two people abble to fuck and breed... those are NOT good prerequisites

[@jessik1810]

If you have to wonder the answer is probably no

[@oblivionfiend2037]

ngl, every time I see the phrase "talking back" it takes me right back to childhood. Sooo many times I would be screamed at, demand to know why I would do a certain thing (and half the time it actually wasn't even something I did, it was either a lie from a sibling or imagined, and quite often it was a perfectly normal thing that, for some reason, warranted an insane reaction) and when I would go to answer, explain or just simply defend myself, I was nothing but a nasty little back talker, disrespectful and (if I cried) manipulative. Like??? You are allowed to scream the worst things to me, but as soon as I try to defend myself, I'm the wicked one?

[@yuzuchi5381]

everytime my dad came home its exactly that scenario .. as a kid with severe ADHD i was struggeling hard and whenever i tried to explain anything i got either yelled at or beat ... so after a while my brain connected the sound of the metal gate when my dad came home with recieving mental or physical abuse .... wich then turned into a huge trigger for me feeling in danger and getting extremely anxious whenever i hear a metal gate ... i go from "ooouh im relaxed and everything is fine" to "i need to fight for my life" in a milisecond -.-

[@waffles3629]

Yep, like "talking back" is how conversations work. If you ask me a question and I answer it, I'm not "talking back", I'm having a conversation.

[@crowdemon_archives]

​@@waffles3629"talking back" as a concept make little sense to me tbh

[@waffles3629]

@@crowdemon_archives same. Like what does it actually mean? That the person is speaking?

[@Robin93k]

You were just called manipulative? Damn, all my mother said was "stop crying, or I'll give you a reason to"...

[@iiantixsocial]

I absolutely hate how some parents overuse “talking back”. It’s like they want to be the last ones to say something

[@michaelklaus]

they don't want their authority questioned because they know they would not stand in an argument about who is right or wrong; EDIT: it is kinda odd how many people confuse talking back and replying just like these parents do; not every reply should be taken as "talking back" if it is not even arguing in any form; in that specific case, the parent claimed that their offspring did an action and will get punished for that; the offspring then points out that they did not do punishable action; which is merely stating a fact or a falsity (in toher words lying); the part where the parents is unreasonable is to confuse this with an argument as if the offspring said that the action they performed should go unpunished or the punishment should be less severe this makes the parent trying not to be the authority over the punishment but trying to be the authority on truth and reality itself... in other words a dictator dictating truth and reality

[@Ramsey276one]

The crime is TALKING AT ALL -_-

[@BlueTressym]

My hypothesis is that they think if they don't get the last word in, they've 'lost' because every interaction is a power struggle they must win.

[@itssophie6646]

exactly...esp when u make a VALID point n they just say "don't talk back!!🤓☝" instead of actually addressing it.

[@blackwolf542]

I use to get spanked as a kid. I realized while I love my parents I have trauma from it. When I became a parent, I repeated the behaviors. It made me sick to my stomach to hit my kids. It did not feel right. I found other ways to discipline my kids that didn't involve me hitting them. They had their privacy growing up and we built a trust system. They do not disrespect others, they are kind people. I have a good relationship with them. I am proud of them. I could never be like these parents in this video. It seem so wild.

[@pyxilate]

I was only spanked two or three times, and it was always for directly ignoring something my parents told me to do over and over again. Now that I’m 15, they don’t do that anymore and just ground me. I also haven’t been grounded in about a year, though, so I guess they did alright.

[@RainbowNanaki]

I’m so glad you realized that you were just continuing the cycle and found a way to break it 💖 I know I’m just some rando on the internet, but I’m genuinely proud of you

[@lalas181]

Good on you, Internet stranger! My parents tried spanking when my younger brother and I were little, but they quickly abandoned the idea because they realized it didn't do anything but make us temporarily scared of them.

[@Jackadoor]

27:51 I'm pretty sure it was being implied that when Lily turned 25, they'll "realize that their mother wasn't the bad guy", but not be able to find her to make up. At the time of that public disowning rant, Lily was 17

[@spongecakes1986]

Glad I'm not the only one who thought that. Still weird that she went from "almost an adult" to "an adult" in the span of a few sentences, though. Like did her birthday pass while writing this?

[@bibbobella]

@@spongecakes1986 With those writing abilities that it is VERY plausible. Started the rant monday and finished it late friday.

[@KeoTheUndamaged]

2:36 I work for a multi-billion pound business business and our tattoo policy is "as long as it isn't offensive or explicit then tattoos are fine" (no hate symbols etc) - our CEO, CTO and CFO all have tattoos - one of the employees on company marketing has someone with tattoos going up his neck, both arms and hands covered in tattoos - yeah the stigma around tattoos where I work is non-existent

[@myself0510]

I never wanted a tattoo, but I did want blue or purple hair. I work in a school. My head of department was confused why I thought he'd disapprove. Didn't do it, too much maintenance from dark brown hair... I know the current head has a tattoo, though not visible (t-shirt fail when taking off a hoodie)

[@cecile886]

Tattoo studios should be decreasing stigma around tattoos (thanks sociology class). Tattoos used to only (?) be offered at tattoo parlors in "shady" parts of town, which caused some negative stigma. Tattoo shops that follow health regulations are more common now. Also, not all tattoos are shady symbols or whatnot. You'd think that people would be *more* willing to hire tattooed people because it means that they can sit through something long and painful.

[@ValeriyApocalypse]

If a workplace banned tattos then I wouldn't want to work there (nor I could, I have a bunch of tattos)

[@desperadox7565]

That's 21. century.

[@waffles3629]

Yep. Even my neurologists office doesn't care as long as the tattoos are G rated. One nurse in the infusion center at one point had these epic sleeves that were so much fun to look at. Like Deadpool was next to Hello Kitty and somehow it worked. A few of the patients whine and bitch about it, but it's the minority.

[@PokhrajRoy.]

In India, “It was for your own good.” is the get-out-of-jail card for many parents.

[@Chrys4l1s]

damn so its an indian parents thing and not just my parents

[@PokhrajRoy.]

@@Chrys4l1s Haha you’re not alone

[@myself0510]

I get the feeling it's pretty universal. I also got the "If you don't want to tell us about it, you know it's wrong". I used it once on my 6yo and threw up in my mouth. Though tbh at his age I should know pretty much everything for safety.

[@Chrys4l1s]

@@myself0510 oml i got that one too

[@Jacob-kx8go]

My dad: I am the parent, do as I say.

[@lalalachris]

Watching people be appalled by parents insulting their kids on a whim because they can’t regulate themselves heals the scars on my soul a little

[@seigeengine]

When you talk about child abuse, people always defend it saying "I was hit as a kid and I turned out fine," while they're actively arguing for the assaulting of children.

[@Megolsky]

about the Ms. Gray thing: there is a loophole in the contract. I quote: „Strike defined: a day where ALL the listed expectations are not met“ Meaning, if she stands up at 7:00 or 7:30 or whatever the said time was, she met one expectation of the day, so doing none is impossible, making „where all are not met“ also impossible.

[@octochan]

Yeah I noticed that too, they clearly meant ANY. By these terms if she does at least one thing on that list on any given day it's fine

[@Vox-Multis]

Glad I wasn't the only one who caught that! The contract is, of course, terribly written and Ms. Gray should take full advantage of that fact.

[@Megolsky]

@@Vox-Multis normally picking on specific parts of a contract is morally awful, but in this case… it would be great justice.

[@veronicaravello-arceo]

As much as I would raise that loophole, parents like that would take it as en extra excuse to call it breach and/or add extra penalties. Outsmarting those kinds of parents means getting punished. They win because they have the power to change the rules.

[@TheMoikero]

You dont have to get up early. Just shower every day😂

[@sordidknifeparty]

It always makes me laugh to hear parents harshly criticized their children for the terrible people the parent thinks they are, while simultaneously completely refusing to take responsibility for the fact that they made that child both biologically and socially exactly what it is today. You want to know why your child is so fucked up? Go take a look in the mirror.

[@donovangray4246]

EXACTLY!!!!

[@lavenderandwine]

I'm 31 and may have said that to my parents once. They got offended and still don't get it and blame my friends and the "trans cult" for why I am the way I am regardless of the fact their abuse has had me in therapy for twelve years. Some people really just shouldn't be parents. And like I do love my mom. We were always close but she was a push over and she's utterly brainwashed by her mother and the Christian Nationalism they all follow (and I don't mean me just disliking Christianity as a whole, which I do, but that's a different story based from abuse, but in that they literally are nationalists and it genuinely scares me hearing some of the things they believe and want).

[@sordidknifeparty]

​@@lavenderandwineI'm sorry to hear you had to go through all that bullshit, I have a somewhat similar story , so I know it can be really hard. Wish you the best of luck going forward

[@lavenderandwine]

@@sordidknifeparty I'm working with my therapist on how to process everything that's happened recently with them (I no longer talk to my brother because he called me a freak and continued to deadname me and insist I was too stupid to know what I really was -- I'm the oldest of three and the youngest and I are the same so lean on each other because of our fam) and decreased most contact because I can't deal with this on top of the deaths of my grandmother and an aunt this year. It's just too much. I just wish they wouldn't act like I've grown a second head and am purposefully hurting them despite me just taking off the mask for the first time in my life. They've got shit to work through but won't and that's on them. Family just knows how to hurt more than any other it feels like. Sorry you don't really need the word vomit, it's just been rough af lately.

[@donovangray4246]

@@lavenderandwine I fully understand what you mean. I'm much older than you and I'm trans too. I got the same treatment you mentioned.

[@Lizard_Ri]

"what are we supposed to do with 50 plushies" this parent is indeed insane, you obviously pet them

[@saharasandsarahscandystash]

Yes.

[@gimok2k5]

No, seriously, what ARE you doing with 50 plushies? That's only HALF of what you need for the really fun stuff! Like a ballpit filled with plushies. You need at least 100!

[@Lizard_Ri]

@@gimok2k5 yeah, click had a mistake in the writing there, maybe timmy just doesn't understand the true purpose of the plushies

[@jts2561]

Yeah, that´s just enough for a comfortable couch!

[@draconicfeline6177]

My parents LOVE plushies. My dad was playing with them with a smile of pure delight on his face. He'd take every plush I make if he could but he's trying to declutter

[@breelondon7596]

My parents made me sign a contract like that, and then my in-laws when we were struggling and moved in with them (never again). When you brought up, "signing under duress" I immediately searched it up and found out that what my family did to me and my husband was ILLEGAL. Now I'll be sending this to my siblings who are still living with my parents, so thank you for spreading awareness.

[@obscurum6]

To be fair your in laws are entitled to make rules for you living with them as they are not your biological family.

[@luciapitti1722]

My dad was a bad father, when I was a child, but he changed, and never thought he was owned to be forgiven without doing anything. I remember when I was a teen, he changed, and I constantly poked him, to prove to myself that he didn't change because I was weary. I also remember that once he wasted his whole morning helping me to get the car checked, he said point-blank, after YEARS of being a different person, “I hope that one day you'll forgive me”. Those people should really be schooled by my father on how to properly apologise.

[@lilharm]

6:39 ok but the 5th strike will never come to pass as she’s paying rent due at the 4th strike, she’s no longer staying in the house for free, therefore it should be void

[@ProulxS]

Strike definition seem to imply if you get a strike you cannot get a second one until you did 7 days correctly? So if you just never do it right you are safely stuck at 1 strike?

[@artheenbyrogue804]

36:11 This is so vile. If hitting other adults is considered assault, how is it okay to hit children? This is disgusting.

[@sassylittleprophet]

My parents hit me and my siblings (as well as half-starved us, homeschooled and isolated us, and abused us in a myriad of other ways), and yeah, it really messed me up.

[@diarmuidkuhle8181]

Getting a smack or two on the butt because you've been acting like a little prick on purpose and have already been told to stop it five times ISN'T the same as your father taking a belt to you whenever he's had a bad day at work. But nobody seems to be making distinctions anymore.

[@TXRider]

I've debated a lot of pro-abuse people online and they're never able to not give a non-answer.

[@raymondthecartoonenjoyer4803]

​@@diarmuidkuhle8181 No, hitting a child is never okay. Not even if it's just for discipline. It's abusive. It IS physical abuse.

[@efulmer8675]

@@diarmuidkuhle8181 Nobody seems to be making those distinctions anymore because there are no distinctions to be defined. If you have to use your physical size and strength to control your children you're parenting wrong, full stop.

[@Samppaa]

What a chaotic intro, love it.

[@BoxOfToasters]

Timmy!!!

[@michanone]

"Timmy, explain! Tim- *spits out hair* Explain!" 😂😂😂

[@dimensionalskip]

parents will practically beg their young children to take a nap and then be mad when they do it as an adult with more autonomy. funny how that works

[@wartgin]

As an adult who loves naps, I always tell people that naps are wasted on those too young to appreciate them.

[@GretchZ]

“I want a chance to not do things” “I want you do do things, now that you can” This is some weird Boomer GenX thing passed down from when people just had kids who had kids in order to be like, some kind of assembly line of labour. “I made you, now you do work, so you can make people who you make do work, who…” Cultures with strong traditions either adapt, isolate or fall apart, but most seem to have hung onto “have lots of kids, and focus on raising them diligently to work hard at things, and make sure they know how to do the same”. But without some kind of working structure it’s just being domineering in a vacuum. And their parents were probably alcoholics with PTSD from war and constant fear of nuclear war (I’m a senior millennial and that last thing was REAL. We grew up almost sure the world was gonna go Fallout) I’m Jewish. Super traditional methods used outside a Jewish community would leave kids unprepared for social life and obligations/expectations that are just impossible. And I’m talking about some kind of optimal, good people, kind frum (look it up) parents. If parents can’t adapt to the realities of changing society their family is in they’ll get stressed. If they’re idiots, they’ll act like this is an attack and/or just freak out because life is clearly falling apart. I could go on about people sticking too hard to traditional “values” for hours. I could go on for anything for hours. I could write a dissertation on Yoko Yaro media

[@swirliesweets]

I feel like there should be a program for people who were homeschooled by crazy ultra-religious parents to go to and learn all of the basic life skills that their caretakers neglected to teach them. It seems to be a somewhat common issue nowadays that definitely should be addressed

[@NaughtyAelf]

It's called therapy, and whoooo boy, it's expensive! Worth it. But yeah.

[@Mar_Selcouth]

I think apart from therapy they will need science class, probably also history, maybe anything that goes in compulsory school programs and an explanation of how the world works

[@elaineb7065]

ABE is what it's called: adult basic education. It's not a new thing unfortunately...

[@EldritchBumblebee]

Agreed. In the meantime, Midwest magic cleaning on KZbin taught me how to clean my house without freaking out so you might find that helpful. Khan academy gave me the in between catch up from homeschool to college. Feel free to DM if you need a resource, I might have one saved. Edit: also Crash Course and Wikipedia have been invaluable

[@aliceboss3134]

"how can anyone scroll through their chat history and-" they don't. people as out of control as this just delete the messages so they don't have to face how much of an asshole they are

[@CrowsILike]

Yup! It reminds me of a great article called "The Missing Missing Reasons". The parent acts like the reason their child is estranged is, well, missing. Except the parent then say or do something that reveals that they either DO know why, or can easily find the answer to it, but won't bring it up because then people can point out exactly what they did wrong. One of the examples in the article was from a woman who was shocked when her daughter "abandoned" her by moving out at 18 while neither parent was home. Despite her bringing up her husband saying he was expecting this, and that the daughter sent an email with a "prepared speech"... she has no idea why it happened! Gasp! Blissful, blissful ignorance...

[@voidsthetic]

shit, my mom does this

[@basil9584]

​@@voidstheticexactly what i thought when that part came up like, thats familiar. *Insert yelling in rage* and then "opsie lol 😋"

[@cube_cup]

6:50 that's not just awful, it's straight up abuse. Threatening with her education while being both maid and nanny for free. 'you gotta earn your place to stay by devoting every waking hour to it' allows for no escape

[@grmpEqweer]

Exactly!

[@John_Weiss]

10:28 Wanna bet she won't have those other 2 children in her life for long? If this woman was so abusive to one of her kids that that kid was able to get a restraining order, does anyone _really_ think this woman isn't going to turn on one of those other kids and start abusing them next? It's really inevitable, sadly.

[@spongecakes1986]

That is if she doesn't get sent to prison for violating the restraining order

[@sunnyandthechlo]

There are people who won't have kids because they don't want to pass on physical disabilities, mental health issues or generational trauma, or who don't want to risk not having adequate finances. And then there are these people who should NOT have kids but pop them out anyway without any thought for the kids lives whatsoever. Disgusting.

[@SephonDK]

I feel this. I want kids so bad but am not in a position to give them a good life. So I wait. But at least I'd do a better job than these fucking people.

[@KarmaLyser]

Both myself and my brother made the conscious decision to remain childless. My Nice Guy(tm) father and Mean Girl mother can't understand why.

[@Solhawk]

‘Why do you keep talking back…’ does she not know how conversation’s work? I always hated that line.

[@ladynightingale666]

"What kind of Alabama, yee haw, bullsh*t is this?!" Uh... Very accurate response to something like that. (Btw, I was dying after hearing that)

[@zekromtrainer1222]

The way he said that

[@Ramsey276one]

20:40

[@laylahawkins4873]

I'm glad that I wasn't the only one who got a laugh out of it

[@SingingSealRiana]

One of my favorite th8ngs he ever said

[@amphigorian]

The contract parents are trying to basically legislate executive dysfunction (and maybe depression?) out of their kid with the gun to the head method you’ve talked about several times. MAYBE this person can fulfill these requirements but will do so out of fear and thus a) it won’t stick and b) it will be a source of constant stress and tension. Even if they weren’t trying to get a housekeeper out of it and were just trying to help - this isn’t helpful.

[@BlueSkyBirdies]

Hi, I'm currently struggling with executive dysfunction and depression, and if you have advice I'd appreciate hearing it. I looked at that contract and thought it was sort of reasonable, because I know I probably need an enforced structured schedule like that. I cannot for the life of me regulate myself. (This is NOT to say that I believe the parents were in the right here. They were being excessively draconian and there's no guarantee the child has any of the same problems I do or to the same degree. I'd just like to know if you have any advice to prevent needing such a thing in the case of someone who really can't make themself do their responsibilities without enforcement or threat of consequence.)

[@sketchiscribblr8285]

​@@BlueSkyBirdies I'm in a similar boat- personally, I had some succes with a bit more structure living at home during covid, where I was given a list of things that needed doing and I had to pick at least two to complete. The idea was that I struggle to internally self motivate. No amount of me internally cueing my brain to get up and go will make it cooperate. This could be with anything from making food when i know i need to eat, refilling my water when i know i need to drink, getting ready for somewhere i wanted to go- getting the stupid thing into gear is next to impossible on some days. It helped to have a reward and consequences controlled by another person and a clear deadline. Consequence for getting none of my list, so I would at least be able to cattle prod my brain into going for one or two tasks, and once I was up it was easier to momentum into more. The trick is that the consequences can't be too big, or else demand avoidance will kick in and fight me to the death. And the reward has to be something I can't just get myself, and nothing vague and arbitrary like x amount of time doing y thing, it has to be tangible.

[@Laura-gb1jv]

​@@BlueSkyBirdiesone of the biggest things missing from the contract was the adult kid's input. So I'd say, 1. Set your own desired routine. Make it an achievable goal. 2. Write it out explicitly. A wall-mounted whiteboard is a great investment. 3. Arrange your surroundings to make it as easy as possible to keep your schedule. Like laying your clothes out the night before, and keeping your phone/wallet/keys/watch in a basket nearby. Put a clothes hamper nearest where you get undressed. Etc. you can use the principles of advertising and "nudges" to work in your favor. 4. Use the other half of your whiteboard to remind yourself of deviations from your schedule (Dr appts, etc). 5. Use timers, alarms, sticky notes, and any cohabitors to keep yourself honest. Hth!

[@annoyedkitten4964]

It sounds like they wanted to contractually mandate that they can keep treating the adult child like a kid and micromanage their life.

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

Yeah, I noticed the ADHD detail in there. The contract is bad enough without the ableism.

[@ronaldoalberto3510]

Bro why do some parents feel the need to post their very personal problems (like disowning their child) on Facebook of all places

[@helenlewis2510]

They want validation from other shitty parents

[@arielruby13]

Right, a place where all of their friends and maybe hundreds of people can see, coment on and meddle on personal matters

[@BlueTressym]

They're seeking validation and praise, probably.

[@TXRider]

Revenge. Abusers and narcissists hate accountability and consequences so they'll do everything to blame and punish their victims/

[@recallshifter]

"Grow the Frick lilly." Had me rolling in laughter. The only thing that would have made it better was a response from Lilly, " sorry my Frick Lilly garden is barren right now."

[@spongecakes1986]

Talk about deflowering am I right

[@voidsthetic]

@@spongecakes1986 LMFAo underrated

[@jooniperlynn]

That contract mom, told their child to cope with their ADHD essentially. And held the college they want to go to over their head. Oh my god, run for the hills. Never ever look back

[@bonjouritsready]

Wonder if they actually had ADHD or if it was a ‘self diagnosed’ situation

[@TheSkyGuy77]

34:55 Corporal punishment really pisses me off. And the fact that these people are gleeful about abusing their children just is 🤬

[@raseri8497]

Fun fact: in my state in the US, you can get two years of college free if you get them done in highschool

[@sunnyandthechlo]

Wait, what. So you have a full day of high school and then go to college classes all night or what?

[@raseri8497]

@@sunnyandthechlo they're dual credit classes, so the hours taken are the same, but the class is just harder. I got 39 credits done over three years of highschool. AP classes are also available. If you pass the exam, you can get college credit (depending what each college decides)

[@sunnyandthechlo]

@@raseri8497 Ohh okay I see. That makes sense.

[@platinum_noelle]

Yep, with dual enrollment you can graduate with your AA degree and your HS diploma at the same time if you start in junior year. I was stupid and let my ex-bff and her inferiority complex prey on my people pleasing to talk me out of doing it bc I'd be "leaving her behiiiiiiiind" 😂

[@michaelklaus]

fun fact: in many industrialized countries but the US you can get free college.

[@tim_the_traveler]

As someone who has delt with corporal punishment, I can safely say I am NOT alright. and on top of other things has left it's lasting impact with how I interact with people and treat dynamics. It very much is damaging.

[@Anrat966]

2:57 the presence of a tattoo was how we weeded out the good nurses in the psyche wards

[@FluffieXStarshine]

The first person who I worked with that had tattoos was a vet, no one ever said anything to him if he had a short sleeved shirt on in the office. One client actually complimented him and talked about their time in the service over lunch with him after the meeting. John was a cool guy, rpi man. You were a real one.

[@viverra]

Lily is 17 at the time this rant was made; the sentence about being 25 was a badly phrased hypothetical - "WHEN you are 25, and your brother is getting married, you won't want to go because I'll be there", etc.

[@Taesarra]

Once when I was out for the afternoon with a friend to help her move, something I had conveyed to my entire family with times I'd be gone and when I'd be back, my sister and mother had apparently tried to call me when I had set my phone down to charge while moving boxes. They tried to call again maybe ten minutes later. Then five minutes. Then FIFTEEN CALLS IN 2 MINUTES FROM BOTH OF THEM. On top of that, probably 40 "call me" "answer the phone" "why arent you answering the phone?" texts between the two of them. The first voicemail was a classic "hey call me back", next two voice mails were similar, but more irate, then the just screaming "answer the phone voicemails", and then an eerily calm one where my sister says "Hey, guessyou don't care about us, but Dad's dead. We'll see you when we see you I guess ". For context, my father had been terminally ill with cancer for years at that point and had begun a hard decline the month prior. Seeing this, I rightly lose my mind and tell my friend what's up and rush home - To see Dad on the couch, doing just fine, and watching TV. Mind you, I'm visibly distressed - Broke several traffic laws rushing home, started bawling my eyes out the second I heard that last voicemail from my sister, and was shaking like a leaf from trying to fight off a panic attack to be able to keep driving. He asks what's got me so worked up and before I can tell him, Sister peeks out of her room with "THERE YOU ARE! Mom and I wanted your help moving some furniture and you weren't answering your damn phone. " I didn't speak to her or mom for weeks, and the few times I did speak to Mom it was because Dad was big on respecting elders so I'd at least answer questions when presented. Otherwise? Dead silence, I spent all my time either at work, a friend's, or in my room with the door locked. While I'm glad that I was blessed to have a few more years with Dad after that, it's been over ten years since Mom and Sis pulled that stunt and I'll never forgive them for stooping so low for me to help them move a fucking dresser for my sister

[@picklearts2678]

hope you're doing better now! always remember that you smell amazing and nobody can tell you otherwise.

[@clockside]

... I don't even have words... I am so sorry they did that to you... Such cruelty! 😭😭😭 I'm not close to any of my relatives like that, but even without that bond to either of my parents, my sister would still be abso-fricking-lutely dead to me if she ever pulled a stunt like that. That's disturbing on "evil" levels, especially with how indifferent she was about the effects of such a decision on you. She didn't care about anything other than getting you there ASAP... That's just... I can't even. I'm so sorry you were put through that and for whatever other atrocities were done to you by people who were okay acting that way too... I hope someday you don't have to deal with them anymore. I hope you get to be free of the chains of such selfish and callous people. ;_;

[@verenabecker2724]

Hoooly shit, that's absolutely vile. I'm pretty damn certain I wouldn't forgive that either. 😢

[@crowdemon_archives]

Snark-arse me would've go like "I will make sure your claims are true at the end of wasting my fucking emotional bandwidth." Fortunately for me, my family are generally sane and not particularly prone to this sort of dumbfuckery. (wrangling furniture weirdly is a different thing altogether though 😂)

[@meh9677]

Hope you dont talk to them anymore. These are the kinds of people i wouldn't want anywhere near me, my friends and my hypothetical partner or kids.

[@guess2300]

32:40 I was expecting the guy to be like, "We are not even Korean!"

[@spongecakes1986]

Bro didn't even get the chance before he went fully off the rails

[@evanwoodward6376]

I’m delighted my parents aren’t insane. When I came out as bisexual, it didn’t bother them at all and when there are parents moaning about adult children having tattoos, it adds to my relief

[@DragonBloodShepherd]

"Oh, there's an ice-cream truck... Focus, Click. FOCUS!" made my mood for today xD

[@vikki8699]

Starting to see why children go no contact with their parents. Some of these parents clearly had kids to have slaves.

[@Master_Conner]

"I remember when this channel used to be hinged" Me remembering 2019 Click:

[@arandomkobold8403]

This channel was never on the doorframe to begin with

[@Booksforthewin]

There was a doorframe to begin with? The door’s isolated in the void of space, lightyears away from any hinge.

[@GoatimusPrime-y9r]

The door was on hinges? I don’t remember the door for this channel being on hinges to begin with.

[@JohnSmithMO]

While seeing this parent-child contract, I belive their (parents) favorite character is Sheldon

[@karinalemieux9396]

Hurts my soul to see children young or older, having to apologize and lower themselves to sooth the parents’ egos. Not to mention, how so many children say ‘but I love them’ or ‘they are my mother/father’ when the parents treat them like sh!t and are expected to just get over it, move on and not set boundaries. Too many children gaslight and manipulate themselves into staying by saying those things when in reality, a lot of their lives would be better off not having contact with their parents at all.

[@arielruby13]

When your parents are shitty to you, you start to lose your love for yourself, struggle with terrible feelings of inadequacy and self loathing. This is what happened to me. It took me several years to understand the types of abuse i went thru, restore my self confidence, shed the self loathing, learn to trust other people. I paid very much of it with my own sanity, years of stress, and hours upon hours of therapy. Im currently 25, managed to make friends i trust with my life, and am on a somewhat stable place. Me and mom manage to work out some stuff (she went to therapy as well), we live together mostly peacefully. I cut out contact with dad (best decision i have made). But it all had several lasting impacts on me

[@King_James_1andLonely]

True, it’s awful. And the thing is, the child does love their parent usually. They can’t erase that, even when it would be healthier. It’s natural for a kid to love their parents, even if those parents don’t treat them well. Most often, they don’t have any other impactful reference for parental love, and they don’t have a mature support system beyond their immediate family. In any case, that feeling of love towards their abusers only makes the situation more confusing and harmful. It’s so difficult to reconcile “I love them” with “they hurt me”, especially when you’re young. It’s not fair that kids ever have to deal with that dichotomy.

[@rachelstanger6079]

You're taught your whole life that love hurts. It's SO hard to get rid of that idea. And if you come to the realization that love and abuse are in fact mutually exclusive - a realization you have to reach on your own - then you grow up, you leave, and all the people around you (family, friends, and counselors - I'm speaking from experience) who weren't even there, who don't even know your parents, who've heard you describe how abusive they were, tell you "But they're your parents!" "I'm sure they thought you were safe." "They must miss you so much." "They love you so much." "I could never cut off my parents, that's a really hurtful thing to do." "You need to move on and let it go." "You're bitter and hateful, learn to forgive." "They had it tough, they did their best." Every damn day you love them, and hate yourself for still loving them, and constantly wonder if maybe they're right, maybe you were always the one in the wrong.

[@babowasalwayshere]

Tfw someone who has a restraining order against them threatens with, "I'll show you, you'll never see me again" yes, good, that's the point of the RO

[@Dani-Claw]

"Wow, at least my parents aren't THAT bad!" I say as I avoid visiting my parents week after week 😢

[@rachelstanger6079]

You can drown in two inches of water. It doesn't have to be a flood. Don't minimise your own experiences - they're valid. Trauma isn't a competition 🫂

[@kawaibakaneko]

​@@rachelstanger6079Thank you, I am going to need this comment

[@xlsfd]

Nagisa Shiota's mother from Assassination Classroom would also fit into this subreddit, as she quite literally see her son's life as a "second chance" to achieve what she couldn't in her own life. She quite literally forces him to dress and behave as if he was her daughter whenever they're alone together.

[@kae377]

Well now I'm just gonna headcanon that Nagisa is an r/insaneparents contributer lol.

[@arialash1113]

Not to mention, she tried to burn down the school when she didn't get her way.

[@Ramsey276one]

YIKES

[@kae377]

@@Ramsey276one yeah ->-

[@ariawen8476]

By the end of the series, though, she promises to do better. And after the time skip, it seems she kept that promise. I highly doubt these parents have the self-reflection necessary to make the kind of change. Of course, Nagisa and his mom *were* attacked by an assassin, so I suppose that would necessitate some quick realizations...

[@ShinTriAce]

As the saying goes, every child deserves parents, but not every parent deserves children.

[@tobitheminnow]

Fun fact about me: my mom called the cops on me for a welfare check because i didnt text her for 3 days.... no i dont live with her, no i dont talk to her every day.

[@milohdd]

You only get praise for being there for your children if you ACTUALLY went above and beyond for them, and your children feel they want to give that praise

[@hayhay4774]

My mom does the same “I’m gonna cancel your phone” thing too. It’s so insanely stupid and frustrating

[@miscalotastuff733]

If you can get a tracphone and do not tell them.

[@Matt-mg6nu]

Parents are able to mess up your life in such a crazy way. Bein a Parent is a huge respect because you can ruin the childs life to an insane amount.

[@PeterLedergerber]

23:35 so about that topic, The body of a child does not belong to the parents, even though the parents contributed to the child's creation. Here's why: Individual Autonomy: Every person, regardless of age, has bodily autonomy. This means that they have the right to make decisions about their own body. This principle applies to children as well. Legal Perspective: Legally, children are considered individuals with their own rights. Parents have responsibilities and rights to care for and make decisions on behalf of their children until they reach the age of majority, but this does not mean they own their child's body. Ethical Considerations: Ethically, it is important to respect the bodily integrity of every person, including children. Treating a child's body as property would violate fundamental ethical principles of respect and dignity. Parent-Child Relationship: The parent-child relationship is based on care, guidance, and protection, not ownership. Parents are guardians and caretakers, responsible for the well-being and development of their child. Rights of the Child: Children have rights that are recognized internationally, such as those outlined in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC). These rights include the right to life, health, and protection from harm, which emphasize the child's individuality and autonomy. In summary, while parents have significant roles and responsibilities in raising their children, the child's body is their own, and they have rights and autonomy that must be respected.

[@ceciliagraefe3960]

I wish more people would take it seriously and understand it as what it is. An absolute violation of guaranteed human rights even children possess. violating those rights takes a special kinda fucked up asshole, or a whole cocktail of generational trauma that produces the classic "ma hit me and I turned out fine" response. If you turned out fine you wouldn't want to assault a child.

[@PeterLedergerber]

@@ceciliagraefe3960 yea, its unbelievable how unhinged some people are. Really makes you loose hope in humanity.

[@cyntiaoliveira8076]

Thank you so much, I'm going to use this in court ❤

[@PeterLedergerber]

@@cyntiaoliveira8076 hey, im glad to help, things like this should already be part of the law really, unbelievable how unhinged some people are. The fact that we even have to fight for this in the first place makes me incredibly sad.

[@arielruby13]

Perfect!

[@Kattlarv]

Ah yes, that contract implodes on itself on the second strike. Since: They lose car access, and thus: Automatically fail several tasks.

[@bleukettu4521]

When I started working nightshift I had to move back in with my parents due to my dad's medical issues and my mom got mad because she tried to call me during the day, but I was asleep, which started a fight of her telling me that if "you didn't stay out all night and sleep most of the day you might be able to do something with your life" completely ignoring the fact that I worked at night and had picked up extra shifts to help with expenses. Parents be wild with the logic sometimes.

[@bobbywamsley4828]

You know, my mom did the same BS when I worked graveyard at a factory up the road from where we lived. She'd almost kick my door in every morning about four hours after I'd get off work, it was so annoying and when I told her I need sleep I just got told to suck it up and stop being lazy. Then she wonders why I never talk to her, lmao

[@schrodingerscat3741]

In exchange for living here past your 18th birthday you now have to work an extremely micromanaged full time job + overtime with no days off! Good luck getting your life in order!

[@junkabella6324]

Please take time to read that list again. Then think of the fact that the parents do all of that, AND work full time. Is it really that unreasonable? How much do you think the 18 year old contributes to the home? And still expects to get a free pass to university, where they might not be bothered to do their duties either…? Hmmmm? It seems like the kid uses ADHD as an excuse but is not willing to get any treatment for it. Even my 3-year old has more accountability than her by the looks of it 😂

[@schrodingerscat3741]

@@junkabella6324 ....yeah I'm not even going to bother with you. I feel bad for your kid

[@ghostlygales]

The homeschooling one I can relate to; I was homeschooled by my VERY Christian mother, who's been a teacher, I'll give her that, but she taught *college* students, not elementary students, which I was at the time. She was very strict and never helped me when I was struggling with a subject. That caused me to learn that I should never ask for help when struggling, and that I had to suck it up and help myself. I was then sent to a shitty "Christian" school, with "*great*" teachers, that totally would not hold favourites and target specific students... Yeah. I did terrible those three years. I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I was pulled out of the school after my freshman highschool year because my grades dropped terribly due to me being on medication from dislocating my knee and breaking my leg, and, sorry, mother, that's my fault that I was high on the medication they gave me. So sorry! I'll make sure to control my brain when on literal drugs!!! Never EVER gonna be a fricken homeschooling parent. EVER.

[@seigeengine]

The fact we let parents homeschool their kids is already wild enough. Public education is one of the greatest works of our species.

[@rachelstanger6079]

Yeah, my Christian mother went to teacher's training college, but only ever taught preschoolers - hated them and absolutely hated me and my sisters too. She just hated children, she never should've had any. Her ability reached the age of about 8, then I had nothing for 4 years, then suddenly I was thrown into highschool level Christian correspondence totally unprepared. I wasn't given any help or oversight, had to teach myself, and did full time tutoring for my younger sisters too. I thought that was hard enough. Now I'm in university, and discovering that 'highschool equivalent' has a very different meaning when it's pushed and paid for by a homeschooling lobbyist. That's not even getting into the cult I was in for six years where every child I knew, including myself, was isolated, homeschooled, brainwashed, and abused in the name of God. But it was all good, apparently, because my parents filled out a sheet of paper about their intentions every year. Yeah, f homeschooling.

[@ghostlygales]

@@rachelstanger6079 Jesus Christ holy shit I'm only seeing this now goddamn..

[@CelesteMinerva]

I don't know whats worse the parent in this story 7:51. Or parents who kick their kids out at midnight on their 18th birthday. Who makes their kid sign a contract that basically makes it to where they have to be an unpaid nanny? An unpaid nanny who has to still find time to work and oh don't even think about getting an education unless I say it's good. What a monster.

[@kylajensen1957]

ADHD is mentioned so I'm guessing this MIGHT be an EXTREMELY shizzy method of making her deal with executive dysfunction (difficulty making adult decisions, maintaining a schedule, and getting things done, which often goes hand in hand with ADHD) but as I said it's a very crappy, "gun-to-the-head" method of forcing Ms. Gray to learn those skills. Putting housing in jeopardy should NEVER be on the table when dealing with misbehavior in general and since obeying this bs is the only thing keeping a roof over her head it's a) not going to stick when she moves out and b)going to add a lot of unnecessary stress and fear which (from my experience) only makes ADHD tendencies worse. My uncle's joke about implementing eugenics (taking an IQ and skills test to obtain the right to have kids) becomes less funny every day...

[@CelesteMinerva]

@kylajensen1957 All of this 💯. It felt like those times my grandmother would try tough love and be surprised when it just made everything worse.

[@kylajensen1957]

@@CelesteMinerva I feel so lucky that my parents have been understanding of my ADHD. Now I'm working on a degree and moving into the dorms this fall, fingers crossed.

[@CelesteMinerva]

@@kylajensen1957 That is amazing! They gave you such a good start and it is a beautiful thing.

[@junkabella6324]

I don’t think the kid would do anything useful at university, if that list is impossible to acchieve for her…. I would like that kind of freeloader out of my house fast too.

[@drtaverner]

I stayed w/ my grandmother one summer. My great aunt was next-door and I was helping re-vamp the garden. 7am, my Grandmother starts STARING AT ME as I sleep complaining that I'm not up and working. She says she'll call my brother to take over because I'm so lazy, etc... She never checked with my aunt who didn't want to start until 10:00. I had to start helping at 10am, and my Grandma was pissed that I wasn't over there bugging my aunt at 7!

[@imperfectimp]

6:00 "she will not be able to socialize" is a crippling punishment. She will never be able to make friends out of fear that one day she'll have to explain why she disappeared for a while. Source: personal experience.

[@timetravelhomestead]

Same. I did have friends, but they all knew my going out was not probably going to happen. I was lucky if I got to go out once month, and then I couldn't leave before 6, but 7 was too late. And the whole 4 hour ask your mom, ask your dad and the 10 foot list of chores to go. It was usually more hassle then I wanted to deal with, TBH.

[@shadowldrago]

I won’t pretend my relationship with my parents is flawless, but I consider myself lucky that my parents never pulled any of the shit that would land them here.

[@d_fnanda]

Man, the phone one is so annoying 😭 I remember my parent canceling my phone line over anything I did, but bro... I studied far from home and had to take the bus, so maybe idk, a phone would be useful if something happened?? (and rip phone line workers, probably as confused as we were with the unhinged parents)

[@Decarus37]

My mom cancelled my phone because I bought some music for it during a 13 hour long car ride it was my own personal money gifted to me by my grandparents. Some parents really don't understand how important a phone is in modern society. I was 12 and we lived in an area where the school bus frequently got stuck a solid hour away from town. A lot of things could happen there

[@Ecofriendlyant]

I don't know whether to be terrified or attracted to click in a wig and it's messing with my sexuality.... Help.

[@jacolinelankamp1752]

Why not both?

[@Hetaliafan85]

Welcome to the bisexual experience.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Thats the normal reaction to him

[@Boundwithflame23]

_confused aro/ace noises_

[@Laura-gb1jv]

Is there a term for being attracted to wigs???

[@KristopherBel]

These videos are really helpful to me i cut off contact with my abusive parent 3 years ago, and these videos are great reminders that i was right in my choice. Having someone look at things my mother did or said and saying clearly, that it is abusive and unhinged behaviour, is therapy ❤️ thanks for this click. And the entertainment too.

[@drtaverner]

Filial Piety is terrifying IMO. It makes parenting a transactional arrangement for which you expect to be reimbursed.

[@seigeengine]

The thing is... in essence, everything is transactional. We are good to others ultimately in large part because we desire to be recompensed for that goodness. If you do for someone time and again, and they never do for you, you will feel wronged. If a parent raises a child, and the child disrespects or abandons them, they will feel wronged. The issue is when people, who often haven't really done much for you, try to exploit ordinary healthy relationship norms to try to badger you into doing for them by guilting you with alleged good they've done for you. Like when a parent says "I loved and raised you so well, so you owe me," and then holds that above you forever. The problem isn't that it's transactional, because it isn't transactional; it's extortionate.

[@drtaverner]

@@seigeengine Weird. I don't expect things when I do stuff for people. I think parents expecting stuff from kids _they_ chose to have is exploitative and psychotic.

[@seigeengine]

@@drtaverner 10/10 non-response. Coward.

[@KewlImp]

That "whats the joke" gets posted to facebook. I don't have kids but if any of my family members did that to a hypothetical daughter of mine, I'm cornering them until they answer the question. That's a no contact / block for me.

[@seigeengine]

I really don't get why people are this upset over it. It'd be an inappropriate thing to say to the kids, or in public, but as a private joke between adults? It's not funny, imo, and it's definitely weird, but it's not offensive, and it's quite a stretch to call it sexualizing children. Like, it feels like the "offense" was maybe a 2 or 3, and the response was treating it like a 7 or 8.

[@KewlImp]

@@seigeengine Then what is the joke?

[@seigeengine]

@@KewlImp The joke is the juxtaposition of the adult subject matter (breast size insecurity) with images of children, to which that subject matter obviously does not apply, for several reasons.

[@KewlImp]

@@seigeengine That isn't a joke. That isn't me being literal. It's not a joke because there is no punchline. It's not relatable. That kind of behavior is a red flag. So no, I don't see the joke in this. This is like in a Collen Hoover book that gets mocked where the main character laughs at the size of her son's balls.

[@seigeengine]

​@@KewlImp Wow, that's possibly the least coherent reply I've ever gotten. It's just a jumble of unrelated things tied together pretending to be a point. First of all, jokes don't require punchlines. I know that's a common thing people sometimes say, but it's objectively false. Only certain kinds of jokes have punchlines. Second, even if jokes did require punchlines, what even is your point? If it doesn't meet some arbitrary strict definition of a joke... who cares? That isn't what we're discussing. Or are you trying to claim that what the woman did wrong was be unfunny? Third, why are you talking about something being relatable? That's, again, completely irrelevant to what we're talking about. Neither you nor I are the person who made the joke, nor their audience. Do you think the world revolves around you? Fourth, it being a red flag, even if I accepted your premise when that's literally at the core of what we're discussing, is irrelevant to whether it's a joke or funny, which appears to be what you are, for no good reason, discussing in this latest comment. Fifth, I literally explained the joke to you. If you don't "see it" at this point, its' because you're lying. Juxtaposing things out of context is an incredibly common source of humor anyway, so you have no excuse. What this looks like to me is you wanted to virtue signal, got caught out being wrong and having no clue, so tried to misdirect into an irrelevant discussion of what constitutes a joke, and then slipped in your conclusion, the thing you're supposed to be defending, to try to pretend you hadn't completely evaded the discussion.

[@Minty_Kp]

my parents claim they love me, but it’s obvious they don’t 😭😭🙏🙏

[@a_random_youtuber6151]

It's worrisome how much I relate to this comment.

[@Alphaismyname]

You’re loved by other people. I promise🫶

[@xXMindSoulXx]

my parents laughed when i told them i attempted

[@xXMindSoulXx]

so this hits close to home 😭😭

[@hmnhntr]

No, don't you see? Love doesn't mean treating someone well! It means "wanting the best for them", AKA forcing them to do everything the way you want, regardless of their own needs and desires. At least, that's what I've been told online over and over again

[@lanfae9353]

13:42 "A toddler that has never been told no, and then you feed it coca*ne" 😂💀😂

[@Llpoold]

I have a 666 on my neck behind my ear. I'm a lead in my company. It's the describing factor of me when new people look for me. "Where can I find him?" "Oh he's got the 666 tattoo on his neck."

[@seigeengine]

Cue people walking around awkwardly looking at people's necks.

[@Llpoold]

@@seigeengine it's pretty prominent

[@seigeengine]

@@Llpoold I am too tired to politely respond to that.

[@Llpoold]

@@seigeengine okay

[@thefoxcattherian]

honestly you're based for that tattoo

[@Rutanachan]

29:38 I think Lily is 17, but her mom insists that when she turns 25, she'll regret that her mom isn't around anymore. XD

[@Dodrebur]

That contract is basically saying, "18 year old daughter, do you as a legal adult agree to waive all independent rights in exchange for a $0 rental agreement in your parents' house?" That is an insane contract for many reasons, but at least it looks like employment may not be a concern right now. The ACT is a standardized test one takes for college admission, so it may be a situation of not recognizing an adult child's autonomy until they are no longer a student and can pay their own way.

[@spookieloop]

The person with the contract - Did you notice that FIFTH strike is being kicked out? That means at Fourth strike, they are expected to have a full time job and contribute to rent, but must still follow the contract.

[@cozymoggele]

35:44 It disturbs me so deeply to know that when I was a cashier and I would admire the moms buying the good spoons and spatulas that there were some out there that decided which one to buy based on how they're gonna beat their kids 😊

[@dre1978]

A parent making a slave contract for their 18 year old was not on my 2024 bingo card

[@flufflez013]

29:04 ya, this lady needs some jail time, it’s not legal (in the U.S. at least) to post up other people’s medical history if they didn’t give express permission

[@malter95]

The filial piety one. My partner is Korean and their mom is an Insane Parent (or more like problem relative in general, we could go on for hours about her). When my partner became a nurse, something they had been working hard for with little to no support from their mom, she demanded for them to buy her a purse because "it's tradition." Worth noting is that she is constantly demanding money from her own elderly mother to the point where she can't retire. When my partner told other relatives about this, they said she was crazy for making that demand. Guess she only likes filial piety when it benefits her.

[@Roman_Adrian]

That "strike" list. I would've packed in the middle of the night and started walking, leaving that ridiculous list of rules in the middle of my room.

[@ralfw7463]

7:53 in Germany the contract wouldn't be binding.. it would be illegal and signing it would made the parents criminals since they blackmailed the other party to do so.

[@slothdance2020]

I started getting piercings in Uni. The first one my mom saw was the eyebrow ring. We got in a huge fight. I pointed out I was not drunk, doing drugs, or pregnant. I have a pieced of metal in my eyebrow that I can remove when ever I want. She told me to take it out or not be there when she got home, so I left for a friends house. She then lost her mind when she got home and I was not there. She was then mad at me for listening to her. I pretty much stopped coming home from Uni for a while.

[@anonymouscommentor411]

That was basically your mom making an ultimatum with the intention to manipulate you into taking the piercing out, and so she was only angry because that manipulation tactic of hers failed. It's classic for a manipulative person to become angry after their plans to manipulate others' fail.

[@totoro-chan7700]

One thing about toxic parents/family members that I've learnt over the years is that, they keep telling you are the most terrible and horrible people they have ever seen and yet they keep reaching out to you, that looks like a pattern of singling you out of any potential help or support, by planting that line of thoughts in your head from the very beginning. Kind of "Oh you are horrible and unlovable that everyone would never want to be near you, but I'm different from those people because despite of the fact that you are terrible, I still care about you" type of Scheiße unhinged mental gymnastic lol.

[@dhiranya68]

Vollkommen 😢