Ranking ASOIAF FOOD descriptions 😋 (w/

Yum.
part one: • Ranking every food des...
go throw rocks at @AltSchwiftX
Glimbus Twitter: / notglidus
Glimbus music: open.spotify.com/artist/1z7u1...
Schwift Twitter: / altschwiftx
Schwift Podcast: altschwiftx.simplecast.com/

[@Glidus]

Errata: - Bivalves (oysters, clams, and cockles!) are, of course, molluscs. I was too cephalopod-pilled to remember just how broad Mollusca is. Winkles are water-snails (as in periwinkle), also molluscs. - "Leche" is Spanish for "milk" (my mind got to Ducle de Leche and thought that was good enough, yum yum) but it's also an archaic term for like a strip of something. So it's a strip of beef. Still cooked in almond milk, so let's call it milk steak. - Pando is a clonal grove of quaking aspen, which is of course a plant. There is an enormous fungus (Armillaria ostoyae) in Oregon's Malheur National Forest though, the largest fungal colony in the world and by some metrics the largest organism on the planet. I think I got these two things muddled up in my little head. - Polar bear livers potentially contain a lethal amount of retinol, a form of Vitamin A. This is because their diets are by necessity incredibly fat-rich, and as Vitamin As are fat-soluble they build up great amounts, particularly in their livers. Polar bears have evolved a greater tolerance for Vitman A than humans, so what's normal for them can kill you. - In the books, Craster does die during the mutiny. Dirk kills him shortly before Ollo stabs Mormont. Another case of Glumboid's mind being poisoned by HBO. - Unlike some other foods, cheeses are typically too dense for molds to grow into the depths of, so cutting off the visible parts of the mold typically does remove the fungus. Not that you should be too worried; most molds that grow on cheeses are harmless to humans (again, unlike some other foods). - Liquorice is a plant unto itself, which has a long history of use as a flavouring and herbal medicine. My confusion was caused by the common use of anise in "liquorice" confectionaries, either to reinforce or substitute actual liquorice. Both plants, along with fennel, some other related plants, and the distantly-related star anise, feature anethole as a major flavour component. - Apparently a "clopen" is when you both closed your working establishment and opened it the next day. I hope you got paid well.

[@fridginators]

This is absurdly educational

[@amatthew1231]

We don't get paid well...

[@TheManyColorsOfTana]

The dedication to post an errata to the silly food description review stream is incredible, and extremely educational 😂

[@inigo137]

It's spelled Dulce de leche glimbus

[@abbocadabbo3]

As someone who studies biology and is an ASOIAF fan this stream really hits all my hyperfixation check boxes

[@yggdrasil2]

I'm imagining Glidus getting the chance to ask GRRM one question and it's: "How old is this rat?!"

[@miketrujillo3677]

Older than the vulkron spaceship

[@yggdrasil2]

@@miketrujillo3677 I thought the volcryn was a jellyfish

[@miketrujillo3677]

@@yggdrasil2 i KNEW I was misspelling that, I've only heard them say it

[@Mewobiba]

@@miketrujillo3677 The novella it's from, "Nightflyers", is well worth reading actually. It's a good haunted house story in space, and there's a bunch of things you'll read as an asoiaf fan and go "ooooh i see whats going on here".

[@BoadieBroadus3211]

Are you REALLY the head of the Kwik-e-Mart??

[@zachbarker497]

Love this is how we keep the embers of this fandom stoked. Yeah no winds but shwifty and gilbus made more food content. Oh and what a joy, the food is asoiaf flavored!

[@themurrrr]

THIS!

[@brandonstahl5150]

It'll be out this year or early next

[@merp3373]

@@brandonstahl5150 i admire your optimism

[@brandonstahl5150]

@@merp3373 Yeah it's unhealthy but one day I'll be right

[@pozzyvibes6997]

​@@brandonstahl5150The last book came out in 2011, 12 years ago. GRRM said he's supposedly around 3/4 finished Winds. So we are looking at like 4 years per quarter. I'm guessing we are looking at like a 2026/2027 release at best.

[@renaigh]

I hope the next King makes it illegal to break laws.

[@hammyhamster8349]

That's why I'm always hoping for Stannis.

[@hertogappel]

im starting to think that glidus and schwift are living together

[@ironvicho20]

They are secretly brothers and, of course, lovers

[@SwampGreen14]

G + ASX = J?

[@donut_box3553]

@@SwampGreen14 very plausible

[@JustinMoralesTheComposer]

@@ironvicho20 himcest

[@jongawel4589]

​@@JustinMoralesTheComposersecret targaryens

[@renaigh]

if Edd didn't sound so bored he'd be as unhinged as Euron

[@SpiralSine6]

Listen Edd, you can only say so many jokes about eating people before the Night’s Watch HR starts asking questions

[@andromidius]

I mean... he was sent to the Wall... Maybe he was a cannibal after all?

[@iliaponomarev1624]

Edd is just retired time-traveling Euron.

[@yggdrasil2]

@@andromidius According to semi-canon sources, Edd was persuaded to join the NW by Yoren, arguing that no woman could resist a man in uniform. The bit about a vow of celibacy seems to have escaped his mind at the moment. Part of me almost wonder if Edd is a spy for Littlefinger or something, because this sounds way to outlandish for this series, then again it's not technically in the books.

[@jakemitchell7786]

​@@yggdrasil2 I think it sounds like the story Ed tells, but like the wine corpse story is probably untrue or exaggerated.

[@ZoruaHunter]

You'd think the bastard jokes would feel tired by now but they still make me chuckle every time

[@henrikfitch4017]

And just the way Schwift says it so monotone and tired as well.

[@nateg9358]

It is absurd how much I enjoy listening to these 2 nerd out over anything to do with ASoIaF....

[@nealfirstofhisname]

The rat cook story actually shows that what Wyman did was completely okay (at least in the eyes of the gods). Killing the Frey's and feeding them to their family in pies as revenge is fine, but breaking guest right isn't, which is why he gave them horses as parting gifts, so that he didn't commit the crime the rat cook (and the Frey's themselves) had commited.

[@zenebean]

Yo, Freys, this guy baked three of you into pies and it's still less morally reprehensible than what you did

[@SwampGreen14]

@@zenebean Walder Frey: „YOU KILLED THREE FREYS AND FED TWO OF THEM TO THE THIRD!“ Wyman: “True, but I did give them three horses. Your honor, I rest my case.“

[@ChrisVillagomez]

​@@SwampGreen14 I wonder if that's how it'd be viewed too. The Freys are almost completely despised now by everyone in Westeros, even their Lannister and Bolton allies, and by actually giving them guest right in a sneaky way, he basically has absolved himself in the eyes of the devout worshippers of the Old Gods. Kinda odd note, but does Wyman Manderly follow the Faith of the Seven? Cause White Harbor is like the only place that the Faith of the Seven took hold in the North so it'd be a little bit odd for Wyman to suddenly care about the Old Gods

[@SwampGreen14]

@@ChrisVillagomez As far as I know, guest right is sacred to both the Seven and the Old Gods. Also, concerning Manderlys faith, he probably believes in the Seven, Manderlys are originally from the Reach after all. Also, they actually anoint knights in the Andal way, which no other Northern house does afaik.

[@ChrisVillagomez]

@@SwampGreen14 Oh yeah then 100% he's a Seven worshipper, I remember watching a Crusader Kings 2: Game of Thrones playthrough where someone explained that the Manderlys were from the Reach but I didn't know that about their knights, that's actually really cool!

[@mitigokaa]

Glidus saying “Okay Google, I’m sad” resulted in my Google home replying “I wish I had arms so I could give you a hug”. Now I hope for more Google command easter eggs in future videos. :)

[@acatonawall3938]

The Purple Wedding feast has been ranked and I was not disappointed. Mad feasting. Clothes and/or alcohol ranking would be cool. Lots of pisspots in this series.

[@prometeya3700]

An alcohol ranking would give us content for days, I hope they do it

[@francescapatti2934]

I feel like the alcohol would get repetitive😂 Id love a fashion ranking. Thered be so many doublets 😂 And then the random Dany chapters with the boob out dress 😂

[@henriquecordal8995]

Have they ranked Lady Hornwood's fingers yet?

[@TheHellyeahmen]

this specific food wasn't described yet

[@thehorsefromGOTs8]

too soon

[@lostalone9320]

I mean, left pinkie is clearly S tier. Rigth thumb is F.

[@potato4481]

What about theons flayed fingers

[@nevaehaho61]

@@potato4481Were they eaten?

[@Mewobiba]

Cheese actually doesn't get mold all the way through; typically, cheeses are too compact in their chemical makeup for mold to spread throughout. Cutting off the visibly moldy parts (with a few mills of margin) does get rid of it. In addition, the molds that grow on cheese, while they can taste bad, typically aren't bad for one's health, unlike say the mold on bread.

[@williamchamberlain2263]

Bread mold is a lot spicier

[@iancasleton6356]

​@@williamchamberlain2263gross lol

[@dudavasconcelos4736]

🎵Lemon cakes, boiled eggs and turnips with mushrooms Apples with honey and lampreys with muttons Pidgens and maggots and cooked human meat This are a few of George’s favorite things🎵

[@dudavasconcelos4736]

And also incest

[@renaigh]

Hobb's kitchen gets an instant S-Tier

[@lukaslambs5780]

The most delicious ASOIAF thing I can think of is Glidus, who is a snack.

[@lostalone9320]

Best served spit roasted?

[@theofficialguy]

Burnt black

[@lostalone9320]

🤣🤣🤣

[@zvezdoblyat]

​@@lostalone9320 glistening with honey, drowned in butter and garnished with sprigs of rosemary and thyme, lying atop a bed of sweet grass

[@clarity_art]

I swear y’all must have a psychic connection with your viewers…last night, I was wondering “hey, when will Glidus and Schwifty make a part two of that food description tierlist?”

[@andrewhamilton144]

Tonight, could you try wondering "hey, when will George finish the Winds of Winter?"?

[@Prawnsly]

Also recommend, "Hey, I wonder what old dry rats taste like?"

[@nathanglover8938]

01:20:26 Alternative theory: It wasn't a sausage that Sam killed the white walker with; it was the knife, but only because it had a residue of garlic / sausage on the blade (GRR specifically said that Sam cut the sausages, which as you point out seems a dumb move for someone who is on the run). Imagine if this is true and this is the first time this theory has been made lol

[@hertogappel]

glidus clearly doesnt eat horse because hes afraid that he might end up eating a person

[@sebastianprimomija8375]

1:26:34 Leche is actually a french word for strips or slices. So GRR is describing slices of beef ala Fajitas.

[@Glidus]

yeah my mind got to "dulce de leche" and stopped thinking there

[@sebastianprimomija8375]

@@Glidus nevertheless, still a poor showing for a king.

[@bonnafide2606]

Leche is a middle English word for infusion, which fits the food description.

[@nurgleGurgell]

I hope they describe Reek's delicious rat feast in this one

[@themurrrr]

You don’t understand how much I enjoyed the first vid. You just dont! And now you gift us the glory of a part two!!!!!!! 🤗 I would like the remind you that, yes, you CAN make a vid on all the portcullis or all the heraldry, most beautiful people, cities, etc….. just keep the tier list vids with you two in them coming PLEASE!!!!!!!

[@Him_Him_]

But I do

[@themurrrr]

@@Him_Him_ 🤗😘♥️

[@alexrockas3704]

I think at this point the subject of each video doesn’t matter, just watching/ listening to them hang out for several hours is way more entertaining than most youtubers

[@themurrrr]

@@alexrockas3704 Indeed!

[@muadddib]

​@@alexrockas3704 and food just makes everything better

[@nicolablackwood1286]

1:48:56 guys I’m fairly sure it’s just two separate pies. There’s the one that’s just a pie crust with live birds put in after baking, purely ceremonial, and then there’s the pigeon pie that they eat. No need to worry about poop in the first pie or “multi-compartmented pies” 😂

[@whosweptmymines3956]

Yes, I had the same thought, (we must both be very wise).

[@PineappleLiar]

Or maybe there was no separation, and they served the pie that had the live pigeons in it and Joffery wasn’t poisoned but suffered immediate toxic shock from eating a bird based biohazard. He saved the lives of everyone at that feast with his sacrifice!

[@skilledwarman]

For anyone wondering yes, they have done a Part Two prior to this. Game of Thrones character alignments was two streams

[@Jonkuzon]

Kraznys is being environmentally conscious when hating on beef, because there’s no other food with as large a carbon footprint as beef

[@AmandaDavis6130]

Of course, he doesn’t find the practices of feeding children to bears or slavery to be barbaric. Contributing to global warming, though, truly barbarous. 😅

[@SwampGreen14]

Whereas children are very carbon-neutral. Good guy Kraznys

[@dallayg5524]

An actual part two? We know which stream was their favorite

[@lostalone9320]

I heard them say they original plan was for an 11 year break before the next part, but they decided it probably wouldn't be funny by then.

[@dallayg5524]

@@lostalone9320 12*

[@lukastymoczko3826]

13**

[@sampagano205]

I'm loving the new glidus lore drop that you're knowledgeable about animals.

[@Andre_APM]

I came for the food descriptions, but I stayed for the prolonged, nuanced, and complex discussion about the Others that D&D could never do. 1:53:05

[@andrewhamilton144]

Re: the Night's watch "gnawing hard bread " at Crasters. Bread dough won't rise in cold temperatures, so attempting to eat those loaves would be like trying to eat a chair leg.

[@ben1468]

Could you make a flatbread or unleavened bread in cold conditions?

[@JunkCCCP]

​@@ben1468 you'd be waiting a long time for it to finish baking but yes

[@francescapatti2934]

Fireplaces also exist..so you probably make the bread and put it under a few blankets and stuff to rise (its what my grandma taught me) And if you put it closer to the fire (but not too close) and cover it with blankets Im sure itll rise fine

[@nicholasbridges7857]

Wow. I can't believe Alt Schwift came out as a pudding essentialist.

[@TheAlchemycast]

Leche is an archaic and virtually unknown cooking term for a strip or slice of something

[@obviousalias132]

Yeah found this as well on wiktionary in the Middle English section.

[@djlovingway9131]

leches being used here is an archaic medieval word for slices that appears in some recipes from the era

[@obviousalias132]

Thread idea for next collab should be discussing and ranking weird house pairing in order to eugenically breed the most magically powerful child. As for Butterbump clearly he ate for the first chick but slight of handed a second one into the girl’s sleeve. The orange was misdirection with the seeds having been put up his noses prior in preparation for the trick.

[@matguerra333]

I need to afford new contacts, and less high... I thought you're name was, "Obvious Alien" which i thought was awesome, than "Oblivious Allie" which was awesome then" Obvious Alias"--which is actually even better.

[@brahimdiop5506]

I suggest we rank weird house pairings in order to create the most ugly child. Lannister dwarfism, Florent ears, Frey chin, etc.

[@obviousalias132]

@@brahimdiop5506 Is dwarfism a Lannister trait? Florent ears and Frey chins are described multiple characters in those houses; we only know one Lannister dwarf. Their congenital traits are hair color and a higher chance of twin births.

[@brahimdiop5506]

@@obviousalias132 I say we call it Lannister dwarfism bc fuck Tywin

[@BLooDCoMPleX]

"Oh boy, Astapor, what a place!"

[@Hotchocolaterabbit]

Genuinely always thought the food descriptions in ASOIAF are some of my favourite passages in the entire series - it gets so much of the culture and environment across and they always sounded delicious. I didn't know how desperately I wanted this video until I saw it was posted

[@megamovieman101]

I really want to see the Night’s Watch Halloween Party now. So many shenanigans to be had with Mormont’s raven, Alliser, Septon Cellador, Bowen Marsh and Edd alone

[@roberthatton5686]

Bloody hell, you two actually followed up on a stream! 🎉

[@audio_dregs]

The food descriptions always stood out to me in ASoIaF (how could they not?), so I’m in love with this content 😂

[@Matt-xc6sp]

Demeter gets visitation with her daughter for 6 months out of the year. That’s why we have the seasons, because she’s sad the other half of the time.

[@jenniferpearce1052]

Clearly, Plantos needs to recreate this to regulate their weird cycle.

[@Matt-xc6sp]

@@jenniferpearce1052 Littlefinger was trying to but Sansa wouldn’t eat the goddamn pomegranate.

[@douglasstewart4790]

And Stannis is kinda the Hades of his bros. Robert was Zeus, clearly, but Renly ruins that motif by not being in any way a good stand-in for Poseidon.

[@wolafire]

Cannot describe the feeling I get when I hear Glidus quoting to Schwift a line from Yugioh Abridged (not for the first time) and being too embarrassed to mention the source, except for maybe "Don't toy with me, Schwifto-Senpai!".

[@renaigh]

what a nice Liddle guy... We shall never see his like again.

[@alexmckee4683]

Probably gets killed by an Other, or a passing rabbit, in Winds.

[@romulusnuma116]

If someone did warg Mormont's Raven I just feel so sad for it afterwards because Ravens do remember people and morn the dead so it's just gonna be sad that he's not around anymore

[@sampagano205]

I can't wait for yhe innevitable "ranking all the songs in asoiaf, performed by glimbus".

[@traumer9622]

I have eaten a Thai salad once that was spiced with tiny smashed crabs, it was really good. Same with tiny fish (sprats?), you can eat them whole with guts and all

[@WaywardWhiteWalker]

At 1:44:25 "A serving man placed a hot pigeon pie in front of Tyrion and covered it with a spoon of lemon cream". That's the guy who poisoned Joffery. Joffery comes and eats the pie and dies from the strangler.

[@Myne1001]

As soon as they both started talking about how much a horse heart weighed I knew PharLap was going to be mentioned at some point lol In case you don't know: famous Australian racehorse PharLap's heart is 6.35kgs (approx 14 pounds) which is 1.5 times larger than an average thoroughbred horse heart

[@renaigh]

Breakfast in bed AND Foreplay? Petyr is living like a... a-- A King!

[@ELFBOYMUSIC]

These guys have the same quality of chemistry as Game Grumps. The more content they create together, the better.

[@AlanDunkin]

Quite possibly the best GoT thumbnail ever.

[@silverstorm3729]

I cannot believe I am THIS excited to see two guys review food descriptions. Never stop!

[@dirtysheepdog]

Not surprised that Glimbo doesn’t eat horse. That would be cannibalism

[@thehorsefromGOTs8]

I'm reading the books again and every time I get to a food part I'm reminded of these streams

[@zenebean]

I was not expecting this much taxonomy in the ASOIAF food stream, but I'm here for it

[@jackpfefferkorn3734]

I fully support a cooking video making hot crab pie.

[@ingainloggningsnamn]

100 rats or 100 chicken is a great question, but I absolutely agree that 100 chickens would be far less scary even though they're bigger. Rats can bite and shit. I ain't fukkin wid rats..

[@jakubbobro8327]

Literally nothing else has brought me as much joy in the past month as your guys’ content together, thank you

[@kieranyarde2136]

Glidus & ASX are all I watch on YT these days. Great work boys. 👏🏼

[@gkick5645]

its so funny that this was the first collab stream to get a part 2

[@bimbambummmmm]

The character alignments stream got a second part too!

[@SupposeIRose]

Asoiaf character alignment got a second part too

[@DickChappy.]

DEVASTATED that I missed this. Appreciate y’all still putting content out!

[@bottomlesspitt7798]

I would love a livestream of them looking through book covers over the decades of the 6 Dune books.

[@thecountbrothers2287]

I'll give both my kidneys for an audiobook with the hall saga narrated by these two while glidus makes laughters and stuff

[@hammyhamster8349]

Absolutely fascinating discussion on White Walkers near the end. I know we are still hanging from a thread for Winter but even if never happens (it obviously will in some form just maybe not the completed one & then Spring seems a tiny hope) we still have a lot to thank GRRM for.

[@Charles-In-Charge]

The “old dry rat” section is the best banter you’ll find anywhere

[@KaritKtana]

I couldn't guess that after such a wonderfully entertaining stream, the thing that fully gets me to burst out laughing is Glidus' interpretation of "guffaw" 🤣🤣🤣

[@SpiffierShindigs]

Oh my god is it because revenge is a DISH best served COLD?!

[@thefirstofthelast1181]

This is hype i've been waiting for days, fasting until this has been released.

[@bloodravnclw7261]

Started to cook and started to listen at the same time... Let's see how that's gonna work out for me...

[@renaigh]

the wedding feast had enough food to feed a Kingdom...

[@mateusmachadomartinsjunior4309]

Luv these, hope you keep doing it

[@tyemagee1573]

I didn't think this day would come!

[@mixolydia3309]

That thumbnail is a gift

[@KlaraL-_-]

Thanks for the crab scene reading 🦀🤣❤ that really made me laugh!! It´s so silly and feels like a different genre of fantasy than the following books.

[@idrea7506]

so glad this live returned

[@Marsllama]

I would never have expected Glidus to know who Susie Dent was, let alone think she was good, but I totally agree. I once ran into her at a petrol station in Hampshire. What a day.

[@ThatZommy]

oh goodness yes! i loved part one! im so glad!

[@cordisdie1913]

2:24:00 I don't have twitter so I'm just going to put the excerpt here instead: (Character) was trying her best to act as befit a young lady, but her eyes were red from weeping. Sir Idus of Strife Rock had spurned her in favour of some enormous tome he was reading. She was cursing him something terrible the next morning, praying to (God) that gallant Idus suffer grievous misfortune in all the foulest extents of her gentle tongue. It seemed that (God) was listening; Sir Idus lost his way on the stormy road back, and after exhausting his supplies of cured meats, he resorted to stewing the pages of his tome to survive. (Character) laughed often about that story.

[@tamaralocksmith4988]

From all these descriptions, Hobb really comes through as an mvp ^^

[@karentargaryen7959]

You guys just make laugh, keep it up

[@cocoabean3328]

The thumbnail is everything! 🤣

[@alyswesthill3562]

"You can't put a leash on Cthulhu" XD

[@th3stainedrose]

I'm glad this is here to set my appetite for breakfast.

[@jamesmullen3068]

I am really glad this went on for part two. You maniacs.

[@NoSageMeadow]

We don't actually know how the chick magic trick from Butterbumps was done, so he could've actually eaten it.

[@ashleychaplin5855]

Furthermore the orange trick seems very easy to pull off, you just stuff orange seeds up your nose as you put the orange into your mouth

[@fyviane]

looking forward to ranking of the caves of westeros

[@smosifjr]

These guys are unstoppable!

[@ShubertReads]

Such a yummy video, just in time for breakfast 😋

[@adamgonzalez9650]

Now this is the top tier a song of ice and fire content I search for

[@EnderManBoBo]

I literally just listened to the first installation on a long drive not knowing this was live

[@razmerry]

Hey, I read that story about bears starting fires too! It’s more casual than Schwift makes it sound.

[@renaigh]

Wyman Manderly had a right to vengeance, Lamfrey pie 4 all.

[@jolinefields3460]

Can always come back to this for endless entertainment and bonus educational fun facts to feed the mind and funny bone😊

[@no_nekos_here1214]

37:10 This reminds me of a description in a Rick Riordan book, which, while genreally PG, also has a moment where a villain's eyes are describes as resembling the protagonist's grandfather's favourite dish, Poached eggs with tobasco.

[@berengustav7714]

Now I wonder if any Riordanverse Fan channel has looked at food descriptions in that series.

[@neonxvices]

ok wait let me guess, is that the scene with phineas and the harpies?

[@TheLalliman]

"The only honourable way to eat meat is to eat animals that have at least like a 30% chance of beating me in hand to hand combat." Truly words to live by.

[@johnpoops]

LOL the thought of the trio playing twister... Right Hand Red

[@KeevaTheFirstRival]

3:24:20 a "clopen" is where you worked the closing shift of an establishment the previous night, then were the first to open the establishment in the morning. (Sometimes with less than the legally mandated 8-hour period between shifts.)

[@sellihcastarkiller3392]

Love you guys!!

[@Kriosaivak]

Best part of the chicken on a stick is that as he’s leaving, Tormund grabs another chicken and stuffs it in his pocket

[@amf7421]

Made my day 😁

[@houstisiomcfinasto9665]

I can't believe they did part 2, get hype

[@mxmlnlcdcdffmnt2232]

Perhaps its because it doesn't create any controversy

[@grossineptitude9489]

I'm sorry but did Glidus call him "Cary"/"Gary"/"Harry" at 7:23, or am I bad at listening comprehension... Or is Schwift's name a wideknown fact that I missed out on?