Reacting to: 25 yr Old Socially Awkward Virgin Seeks Help!

Todays request comes from a young man looking working as a software developer, making $10,000 a month, looking for feedback on his socially awkward way of living, and dating women. Lets see if we can help him out...
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#Anxiety #Virgin #Dating

[@EntrepreneursInCars]

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[@kevinboswell1891]

Gabe Zolna is the most interesting man ever

[@aretwodeetoo1181]

Hey Rich reposting a reply here in case the dude comes by. There's some constructive criticism for you too. He's considering lying because he has nothing interesting to say and where it comes to being a virgin Richard failed to adequately answer the question. He said the what (you don't have to tell her you're a virgin or justify it to anyone) but not the how: don't lie, imply. Don't answer the question of how many partners if it comes up (you never want to answer that question directly anyway). Redirect suggestively and keep her guessing. "Probably less than you but I rather not know for sure" is a good default answer for you. It's totally true and if you do it well she'll think you're lying. She will find out later (can't fake experience, but you can and should ask if she is enjoying whatever it is you're doing, within reason). But hey, by then you won't be a virgin anymore 😉 Good luck!

[@aretwodeetoo1181]

Replying to David Rogers who said "Some gal is going to roll thi$ kid": Yeah, that is a good point. If you're seeing this DO NOT FALL IN LOVE! Treat them as frenemy plates to be spun in parallel for at least 5 years until you have the experience to begin to tell the difference. That's how you really fuck up your life. And trust me, even then we all can still get played sometimes...

[@onur_akg]

At least he has the courage to do something about it

[@alexyooo1221]

That's half the problem solved. Just needs to implement the feedback. Keep it up dude!

[@ultimatemachine457]

Pretty sure he's a late bloomer, he's already settled and has a very advantage height, never too late

[@initiatorhater0688]

yup, its only men who have to do something about if if they want to have any success or results in their dating life, not women though

[@jackjack4412]

Rich wrote this letter himself. It's made up.

[@Son-of-Krypton]

25 is not old…he can change his fate. 💪🏼 Seen guys in their 70’s who have been blue pilled betas all their life….it’s horrible !

[@exandious867]

for real i see older betes too and its honesty just heartbreaking lol

[@ashog1426]

70 year old virgins? Lmao man that would basically be hell

[@BlackPinoy869]

25 is old. We have to stop telling people that they have time. People in their mid 30s are still lost because society does not educate the youth to show a sense of urgency when you enter adulthood

[@JasonNoDistractions.]

@@exandious867 soooo true

[@Faisal-cz5if]

@@BlackPinoy869 25 is not old, but I do get your point in developing a sense of urgency. Life comes at you FAST so having to something and take care of it quickly will pay dividends

[@maxpaws3977]

Social awkwardness and social anxiety has literally stolen this man's life. Sad.

[@johnsnyder9842]

Not stolen it, just delayed it. These things can be overcome, if he works towards it.

[@prodigym]

His life is not over. He's still young and in his physical prime. If he makes a huge turnaround he can definitely become high value before his 30's.

[@CybrZone]

he's only 25 lmao

[@penderyn8794]

Thats me..... I knee jerk reacted though in my 30s. Extreme extrovert now.... bit too ott 😂

[@aretwodeetoo1181]

Hahaha, give him 5 years he's gonna put us all to shame. Plus, these years he lost were always going to be the hardest for a young guy who is socially awkward in the modern age. He'll be just fine.

[@Mannsy83]

He needs to look at the positives. He has probably dodged a lot of bullets and as long as he starts from now he is still ahead of the game

[@kurt6410]

His situation is not that bad. He's young, attractive and makes decent income. His life is pretty much the same as mine except I'm 50 and have no real skills. I'm also partially disabled which I can't do physical work like I used to. I'm trying to change. And I can say this. It seems like yesterday that I was 25. I used to be in pretty good shape and worked out all the time. But I screwed up my life by sleepwalking through life. I went to bed at 25 in good shape and I woke up at 50 with no skills and partially disabled scratching my head wondering how I got here. The older you get the faster time goes. This guy needs to get on track like rapidly cause if you think it's hard changing at 25 just try it at 50 Don't make the same mistake as me

[@dudu47321007]

The best time to plant a tree is 20+ years ago. The second best time is now. Good luck in your journey it's never too late

[@user-bp4qq7tt1u]

This just made me tear up. I'm afraid I'm following in the same path. It's just worse, because I know it's happening and still do nothing.

[@bmorgan2342]

respect

[@FearlessMindset]

Hey man, props to you for sharing your story. I believe at the age of 50 some things are harder to do, but make the rest of your life the best of your life.

[@kurt6410]

@@FearlessMindset thanks. I'm trying. I like telling young men about my mistakes hoping they won't do what I did. I'd love to give a tedex talk to a audience of young men. I'd scarre them straight

[@ChineseChicken1]

The US Marines completely destroyed the social anxiety I had.

[@gman8042]

With all the 'woke' shit, CRT propaganda and anti-male garbage pushed now within the U.S. federal govt. and military branches, I think this would make his anxiety probably worse

[@eduardoramirez8375]

Next on my check list join the marines

[@rapsheets4993]

@@gman8042 i dont think the rank and file marines are down with the bullshit

[@jpcolorado6593]

Semper Fi!

[@FryCook87]

@@gman8042 Marines is like the only branch left that is not infested with all that SJW shit. However that could change soon.

[@alvarocortez1919]

Dude has some ball to seek help. Many just let things be the way they are.

[@insomatic420]

This guy is in his own head way to much. My advice take more chances and think less, and 25 isn't old.

[@stephenshelton4267]

It sounds like his social anxiety has actually protected him from the greatest mistake most men make. At his age he should be about 1/2 way though his first marriage and about 6 years away from having most of his 5-10K taken in the form of alimony and child support.

[@ha-il9bd]

@Tim Barrett my situation is pretty much same I'm 19 also.

[@maia3420]

Top 5-10% height and making about double the average for his age group. Homie just was overthinking things and/or had bad/no role models. It was the same for me until I was nearly 24 only I didn’t have his height nor his income until I was a bit older. He’ll be alright.

[@rapsheets4993]

he just needs to hit the gym he will get confidence

[@davidrodgers9558]

Some gal is going roll thi$ kid ... Pick him clean ... Real player going to smell him a mile away .

[@aretwodeetoo1181]

@@davidrodgers9558 Yeah, that is a good point. If you're seeing this DO NOT FALL IN LOVE! Treat them as frenemy plates to be spun in parallel for at least 5 years until you have the experience to begin to tell the difference. And trust me, even then we all still fuck up sometimes...

[@Gaphalor]

True I am not his height and i am minimum wage at 24, but applying for colleges, i dropped out because of depression, but i am better now and ready to mingle again and build a future. But i have learned to handle women and i am fairly confident and i chose a manual labour job to stay fit while I am applying for colleges

[@davidrodgers9558]

@@Gaphalor .. sigh ... Never forget ..nice guys finish last ... Sucks are mother's lied to all men/sons .. It's all about Them.... All the time.. Stay out of Their way.. ? ... Peace

[@RogerM88]

My tip for people to overcome Social anxiety is too move far from your home town were people recognize you. Next is to practice human interactions with random people, and don't go full head on after the "beauty of the block". Also don't be obsessed with Platonic passions to very attractive women...they usually go after males with already strong personalities and good assets. There are plenty of other nice women around.

[@jorgez.e3111]

Solid statements

[@RogerM88]

@@MrFloneil when I started to ignore attractive women, and look at them as "random" women, I felt a signifying difference around them. Some started to be as friends, and I started to realize, some very attractive women had few straight male friends, due to some of them crossed the line trying to flirt. Also, having very attractive women as friends, tend to leave a huge impression on other women, as a sign of confidence. Nowadays I don't "lose time" trying to date those type of women, also in the long run, you have to deal with the constant flirting of random guys, and her superiority look, knowing how they are so desired.

[@bugrilyus]

@@RogerM88 gem, thanks

[@RogerM88]

@@bugrilyus as an example. I met one of the cutest and nicest girls I ever knew. She was a foreign to the city at the time, and I helped her in the adaptation. She was that type of girl that smiled every time you talked, even if your content was boring. After some time, I was with a friend and she passed by us, and I talked to her for some time, the guy was so obsessed with how nice she was, you almost saw the instant love look in his eyes. He started to be a little too flirty, while the girl was just trying to be nice. After she left, the dude, wouldn't shut up about her, and why I had to bring her to some coffee so we could talk all three more time.

[@RogerM88]

@@jorgez.e3111 These Media brainwashing that "nice guy has to try dating the hot chick", getting quiet annoying. There are plenty of girls without that Model magazine body, but way better in all other aspects. Also sexual attraction and passion tends to go away after a while...love, companion and friendship are what holds with time. I had a very attractive girlfriend, but in terms of personality we were so incompatible, that some times I wouldn't even feel that sexual attraction or desire to be near her. Had a colegue of mine with a "smoking hot show", and the guy was getting nuts with jealousy, since his girlfriend was a very friendly person and was flirted all the time by random dudes.

[@SirYeetus]

I was that guy 8 years ago. He just needs to put himself in social settings & practice talking. Bars, clubs, or just approach people (time & place) 👀

[@FryCook87]

what do you do if you if you are alone and you go to clubs? I am dealing with social anxiety now but going to a club or bar alone makes me feel even worse.

[@gogglessukass7852]

@@FryCook87 you can go to a club by yourself

[@devinscott8680]

Shit even going out for walks to local parks, trails, hikes works, etc.

[@gogglessukass7852]

@@devinscott8680 where do I find hiking trails?

[@jemand8462]

@@FryCook87 Don't let those guys give you bad advice. Going to a club alone is a TERRIBLE idea, if you are socially anxious. NOTHING will happen. I did it multiple times, you will just stand around awkwardly and feel more awkward every minute. Noone will talk to you or approach you. If you live in a country where people go to bars alone, sit at the bar, talk to the barkeeper and to other guests, that's what I would try to do every other night. In lots of countries though, you go to bars in groups, then just skip that. Skip walks, hikes etc, because those are ALONE lol! Skip approaching random people because you basically won't have the courage to. And it doesn'T make sense. Try out different hobbies which aren't done by yourself. You're into running? Run with a running group. Dancing is great ((!!!!!!)) for getting used to touch, talk, flirt and move with girls. (it's basically the best you can do). Go to language courses, go to soccer, tennis, crossfit clubs. Gym is also good, but takes a bit more effort to get into contact because usually people do it on their own or with their buddy. The best is of course university and workplace, just start asking people things. About their weekend, how they are feeling or if you don'T know something, ask for where things are, how to do things.... what they are doing for lunch (usually they will invite you then) or just say "hey, I'd like to go to this place for lunch, you want to join?"

[@I_Lemaire]

The OP is a great example of what it takes to be high net worth. Have a heart of gold, have a solid vision, have virtually no vices and work with intense focus and passion 12 hours a day for years on end.

[@jackquentin1950]

Seems like a guy who'll be incredibly successful in the future

[@NerdishGeekish]

Looking at the title of this video, it seems like it was tailor made for me. And I didn't even have to pay for it!

[@donmcdouglas5017]

its called successful targeted advertising for a youtube channel

[@jackjack4412]

He wrote the letter himself. You can see that he has word open as a user.

[@camronthaxter3491]

1" Software developer, 2"self employed, 3" self taught!!!, 4" 10k a month!!! This is literally what im working towards now teaching my self code so i can freelence. This guy has a great start from my point seeing he is doing what i want to do.

[@2breborn247]

Yeah same here XD

[@perfection9669]

this is what I do. it took me 4 years. i also left the USA with remote income because western woman are just terrible compared with eastern europe. good luck

[@camronthaxter3491]

@@perfection9669 Yea western culture is slowly seaping its way into everything. Im in jamaica and the girls here are following everything american girls do.. Don't recommend relationships with them at all

[@perfection9669]

@@camronthaxter3491 yes its very bad. you pretty much need to move to a non English speaking country now to escape. i chose Ukraine it has it own set of issues but its worth for me IMO. either way working remote will save you a ton of headaches dealing with bad people in the workplace! get on it!

[@camronthaxter3491]

@@perfection9669 Facts bro🙏

[@jonathan6480]

Ugh, I'm 25 and struggled with SA my whole life. What helps me get over SA is to remember how seldom people think of you. Everybody is in their own world.

[@jemand8462]

how does that work? I mean, of course you don't think of me, but all the people you are interacting with, are by definition thinking of you while you are interacting.

[@kilduce4423]

💯💯💯

[@ocvegasproperty]

Another way of saying it is that “nobody really cares” so you can do what you want. Nobody focuses on your screw ups or thinks about it for more than two seconds.

[@sanitary103]

@@jemand8462we’re our own worst critics. Be kind to yourself.

[@famus801]

Thank you, this is what I needed to hear. I definitely agree with the keeping your self in bubble wrap, I’m 21 and haven’t experienced shit like going out with friends and doing fun or excited stuff as well as personal development

[@famus801]

@Agis Atleast we realize the issue and can do something about it, we have time we’re young. But we have to do it

[@osher7788]

bro I had my first GF at age 24, she was 21 and I was also her first. Its not as uncommon as people think. Just work on yourself, Pursue excellence, and they will come. Im 26 btw, this wasn't in the 50s.

[@sdws17]

@@famus801 I'm 32, and sadly, in the same boat. I'm still somewhat young, but let me be evidence to you 10 years down the road that this ship ain't gonna right itself, if all you do in your free time is stay inside on the computer or phone. This isn't an anime where a random magical girl will crash into your life and whisk you away to adventure. We gotta be our own magical girls. That sounded weird but I'll keep it.

[@calvinatdrifterstudio8438]

I was in a similar position when I was younger, and spending 2 years traveling across Asia absolutely solved the s**t out of it. I worked through all the cringe stuff with people I will never see again. Many social anxiety stuff can be solved by pushing through it

[@frat8853]

guys, never compare your experience to some young, attractive girl experience. for example for a guy to be able to travel he have to become good earner, for her it's enough to accept proposal in her dm's.

[@e.paradigm7415]

The kid is too much into his own head, bro just relax and enjoy your life, YOU ARE THE SHIT, you make good money, smart, charismatic, successful, good looking, dog you are overthinking make moves and be happy with your decisions. Don't over plan shit. The poor guy was raised by a single mom and probably just needs a fatherly figure.

[@peterhofer8998]

Thank you Rich. "You don't need anybody's permission". That's the very point. To me, that's the most difficult thing to understand in that situation. One is unwittingly, permanently trying to stick to old rules to keep feeling somehow safe.

[@elta6241]

At 25 he can easily turn this around. At least he knows he has a problem.

[@ereyijonathan2694]

Thanks rich for the advice, the guy in the mail is literally me in every aspect until I started work on my issue still working on it and exercises "jacking up like u always say " really help my physic ad putting myself out there as u advice thanks alot rish 🙏🏾

[@psolver8147]

Excellent video and advice, reinspired me to start getting out again. I used to be extremely outgoing but after 6 years in a job I hated got depression and feel like I’m starting over again. I need these reminders.

[@jsaction33]

Couldn't have covered this topic any better. I had the exact same problem a few years ago, getting out and doing stuff was the fix. What also helped was putting myself in sink or swim situations to force yourself to do the things that scared me or things I didn't want to do.

[@billyhuang]

Commenting for the algorithm because this is one of your best videos yet Mr. Cooper. I know this will help so many guys.

[@ekanata]

I’m 22 and he sounds like me though I’m cutting the umbilical cord now. I have strong disdain for beta father who taught me nothing and is a plow horse for the wife; has no hobbies or friends; lives a meager worthless existence.

[@carolineh8605]

I play these videos for my teenage son to undo some of the pussification damage i caused him via single motherhood

[@mikelawry280]

I hope he don't fall in love with that 1st one that gets him off

[@gogglessukass7852]

He will, we all did but hopefully she breaks his heart sooner rather than later.

[@Michael_Wright]

I'm worried about that too....t happened to me and it was brutal. I wish I could have a half-hour to talk with this dude and give him some advice and pitfalls to avoid.

[@jihadityrone2197]

@@Michael_Wright I reckon if he’s familiar enough with RP to ask help he must be aware of clear warnings.

[@burningdust]

I lost 10 years failing at that game. Woke up one day 39 and completely alone. It doesn’t take much to end up in purgatory and the amount of heavy lifting required to get out at this age is a serious problem. Here’s hoping this young guy gets it right!

[@Kraigmire]

I know where this guy is coming from. I had very high anxiety doing anything, even just going out in public. What I have found is that the stuff that gives me the most anxiety, usually is the stuff I find I enjoyed the most. The higher the anxiety, the more I enjoyed it. Now I seek out stuff that gives me anxiety. Disclaimer: I am not talking stupidly dangerous stuff (let's drive the car into oncoming traffic) or about illegal stuff (let's go hunt homeless people). Don't be stupid.

[@jemand8462]

what are you talking about then? Give us some examples. And how do you overcome the anxiety to even start doing these things and get the reward of liking it?

[@sauter1]

"I'm over 6 feet tall, very good looking. have a successful independent career, earn 6 figures and could potentially live anywhere I want as a digital nomad. MY LIFE SUCKS! PLEASE HELP!" Hmmmmm ... ok, we never really know what it means to actually be in someone else's shoes, but when some of these guys write in with sob stories then rattle off statistics that actually put them in the top 3% or less of guys anywhere, I can't help but think that they are taking the piss just a little bit. :)

[@t6hp]

You'd be surprised. If you never go out, don't have any friends or gf. You're bound to learn a skill and be really good at it at some point. But fixing the rest isn't that easy, trust me.

[@centripetal6157]

Everything comes at a cost. Everything. This guy spent his entire life learning software so that he could get a high paying job. At the cost of his social life and life experiences.

[@SrNavi155]

This was an awesome video man, thank you!

[@letterfake8319]

I had the exact same problem. Unable to solve it for 4-5 years. Finally realized that I was just sleep walking through life because of my anxiety and social awkwardness. Women are not the problem in these cases. First create your life in a way that it doesn't needs women (like hobbies and a long term purpose). Then you will finally have the confidence to include women in your life.

[@Synaptic_Response]

He's to smart for his own good. I was like this, it took me forever to realize I was sabotaging myself in these situations. Time, he needs time and probably some more life experience, so going out and doing things will benefit him the most. Go fail miserably at 10 dates and relationships. Most importantly is to not pressure himself to what he thinks society wants from him. Also take a chance and just go for the things he is thinking he wants to do.

[@AarTinOo]

Rich you absolute legend! Greeting from Australia! Listening to your audiobook and watching your vids. Love your work mate.

[@travelwithwill1]

Seeing the problem is the first step to change. Good luck to him.

[@nicholasfitz]

Just had to say thanks for this Rich, it really helped me a lot with my own social anxiety. When I was this dudes age I was blue pill for sure, did not understand women at all so I decided to stop chasing them and just do what I enjoy. I figured if I meet a chick while I'm doing what I enjoy odds are we will have things in common. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, Peace!

[@dylanmatt210]

Story of my life. 24 here and haven’t gotten laid

[@tstryker03]

Go to the bar meet someone drunk and get it over with.

[@the2kking307]

That's not a good idea ​@@tstryker03

[@yummyzerg]

12:00 I just picked up my dad's old guitar... some chick bought it for him when he was dating a while back. Started copying a tune I heard a few days ago that I liked... and I'm obsessed. Spending all my free time playing the same 8-second section over and over trying to master it... next step is to call some old work friends that play guitars, maybe they can show me a thing or two... You really hit the nail on the head with getting hobbies. Can't ever form genuine confidence if you know you're a boring, failing man. You have to at least be working on something you're proud of - and some crap temporary job out of college isn't going to give you that.

[@rorywilliams461]

Identified with this one RIch- raised homeschooled and sheltered until college at 18. No friends or any of the typical experiences but the perspective I'd like to add here is one of hope- sure it took me longer to adjust and I had major life setbacks because of my lack of life experience, but now? I am in a unique position to see life just a little different than the drones that have been processed through the system and it gives me an advantage to how I approach things. You are right with this guy, get out there and do some stuff. Find out what you like irl (other than the idea of women). Are you gonna make mistakes? Absolutely. Will the things you learn about life and yourself be worth it? Absolutely. Good luck brother.

[@jimmycathers8800]

33 and a virgin, i just dont care enough to lose it. Employed, live on my own, have insurance, a 401k and its union protected, id rather be by myself than share it with a woman who just wants stuff

[@DarkKnight-yz2wg]

The fuck? Having sex isn’t the same as marriage dude. Use your insurance to go to therapy. I am sure you got issues that are preventing you from your full potential for n life. 33 is way too old to be a virgin. Latest to lose that is early twenties. Latest.

[@jimmusthegrimmace]

@@DarkKnight-yz2wg not everyone wants a family, why do you care?

[@DarkKnight-yz2wg]

@@jimmusthegrimmace Who said anything about family son? I am far from a virgin and I have no kids. Ever heard of safe sex? Incels hide behind that shit. They just can’t get laid. And then decide to shoot us up.

[@jimmusthegrimmace]

@@DarkKnight-yz2wg so the assumption is those who dont care about getting laid are homicidal? thats paranoid delusion and that delusion is a far greater indicator of violence than not getting laid. lastly, incels aren't celibate by choice, thats where the rage comes from. virgins who dont care aren't incels and dont have the incel mindset. thats just bad shaming language meant to dismiss men's choice.

[@josezamora1639]

This is almost exactly my situation

[@Realizinq]

The way this guy thinks is just too negative. He seriously asked if he is romantically damaged for the rest of his life because of lack of experiences growing up😂 Dude is veryy very negative🤦🏻‍♂️ He gotta realize hes 25, his life is all in his hands

[@majorkade]

Good points on doing very unique things and activities. Boosts confidence and makes you way more interesting to family, friends, strangers and the opposite sex.

[@tysmustang4470]

Video games are the worst thing to get into, they are an addiction

[@Bobsyouruncle-ru9io]

35, struggling with medical problems caused by domestic abuse from single mum. Unemployed, rock bottom. Unsure how on earth to rectify it.

[@jNoobly]

I feel ya man, I'm 22 turning 23 soon and I'm unemployed, rock bottom, dropped out of college and don't know how to manage my emotions

[@Leo-hb8vm]

Yo this is me. Very similar situation almost identical. Thanks Rich I really needed to hear this.

[@tj_yt_]

Just tell that dude to watch “The secret life of Walter Mitty” at this point…

[@henofit]

Wow…I love the fact that all the men here are so supportive..S/O to Rich and you guys

[@tabunes2097]

My advice for the guy: He needs to increase his natural (!) testosteron level!! Best way to do that is to hit the gym, get some sun (and/or vitamine D supplement) and be active besides his job. Why I'm saying that? When he said that he loses sexual interest in a girl once they are chatting, he is (1) too nervous and (2) is more stimulated by deep conversations. Concerning (1) when you are stressed, your cortisol levels increase which is bad for your testosteron (cortisol is an antagonist of testo), this results in being tense, uneasy and not confident. Concerning (2) I can understand him when he feels less attracted in case the conversation is not deep (intellectually). But woman are most attracted to guys who come along as easy, confident and skillful. That's why testo is so important. You become more confident in yourself, do not take things too serious (most importantly also rejections since you know you are the deal, everyone else not noticing that is just not worth your time) and you give the impression of a guys who can handle all problems in the world with ease. Woman love that. When he then also checks the looks department for her, their dates develop a natural flow which will get him laid quickly. Having a higher testo level for him will reduce his overthinking tendency and increases his risk taking willingness when dealing with woman (and other people as well) which will ultimately result in a more successful social & sex life.

[@Vikingskog]

Good advice. Maximizing ur testosteron level will increase ur sex drive. Additonal to exercise and vitamin D, getting enough quality sleep is the most important factor so make sure to get that as well. I will also add: stop watching porn if he does that (which he almost definitely do) and stop fapping, this will increase his sex drive a lot. This + practice social interactions and try out new things. It doesnt necessarily have to be travel (which is very difficult now anyway), join a martial arts club, take dancing courses, take some courses in blacksmithing etc. etc. just new stuff where you will meet new people. Some of these places (like dancing) can be decent places to meet women too.

[@manuelcerda8889]

For me playing sports as a child and into adulthood, then finding salsa dancing helped so much for me. Get out there and live life.

[@andi330]

He will be ok, he's a smart guy. He's ahead of the curve. That social anxiety is just smoke. He'll do just fine in no time.

[@sdws17]

I think this resonates with a lot of men today. Media was our role model and misled us to be passive and docile overconsumers, and in a Peter Pan mentality as Jordan Peterson pointed out. Would be a good topic to keep covering. At least this guy is making moves and getting out there.

[@maia3420]

I had anxiety attacks to the point that I couldn’t breathe and would become faint and would become angry and scared any time I needed to leave the home. It did not help that I lived in the hood. Some people think it may have been agoraphobia. The only way I got over it was by being forced into highly uncomfortable situations routinely. Sometimes by choice and sometimes not. Eventually I did it voluntarily. It gets better.

[@jemand8462]

uncomfortable situations like...?

[@melihtopcu97]

I feel like that guy is approaching things a bit too logically. If I was him, I'd focus on picking up on subtle cues in social interactions. You can train yourself to be more subconsciously aware of others' intent. The less you have to rely on your "active, logical mind", the less you worry and the more confident you get in your judgement. There is no quick fix to this, it's just going out, experiencing, fucking up and learning from it. I also noticed how he constantly talks himself down. For example: -others have more experience, -others are better at dating, -others have done more in their life etc... But at the same time, you invested in other aspects, in which other dudes lack way more than you do. You have a good job, seem ambitious and financially stable. Rather than viewing it as "others are better", just view it as "it's my shortcoming, but I did good at other aspects". Keep your ego at a reasonable level, don't constantly tear it down, but reward yourself for things you do well too! If you read this, good luck brother - you have great times ahead of you:)

[@nishaad771993]

Can see where you are coming from Especially the thought process that you have deployed Additionally, If one has had female family members around for some time, including cousins then a lot of subconscious cues to female behaviour can be picked up by direct observation....an attentive 25 year old can pick up the tactics of older women like mother's and grandmothers especially in a 2 parent household when you get to witness mature male female dynamics, even if it's during Christmas or some other gathering...you just have to water it down to your age group to the best of your ability. That and off course polishing some of your "game"....and Better not be a pushover "yes man" with anyone especially women...no need for pretence just be firm and polite/forthright ...it works eventually

[@melihtopcu97]

@@nishaad771993 I absolutely agree, he should be able to learn the social dynamics pretty quick if he puts his mind onto it.

[@DrDurango]

Social anxiety went away for me when I realized how quickly I could get a girl from a bar to a bedroom.

[@pearlsswine]

Your social anxiety might have went away, but the herpes you'll get from sleeping with low value thots won't.

[@uup116]

Buy a backpack and spend the summer in Europe traveling...stay in hostels and live cheap. You will have more experiences in one summer than you have had your entire life.

[@morgandale3594]

I went solo traveling in Europe for 3 weeks a couple years back - even that was enough time to change my outlook on life

[@franemilicevic5245]

Niceee

[@vilius2295]

just do 5g of shrooms

[@jemand8462]

that's great advice actually. But there's a catch, getting your ass up and doing it. I forced myself to travel to australia on my own for 6 weeks and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I even changed my booked flight because I wasn't able to "just go" the first time. When I was there, it was amazing, I opened up a lot. But I also experienced that as soon as I was back home, I couldn't keep up my state of mind and slowly degraded back to the comfort zone. I've done plenty of solo vacations since, because, well I don't have the friends I want to go on vacation with (or simply put I don't have good friends), I open up every time. But it's always the same, after coming back, same old, because at home, you'Re not forced to talk to people, you don'T even have the chance to meet so many new people - or any - and you can't do all those exciting things. So I think it's a good start, but afterwards, there has to be some big changes, to make it last.

[@driftFD]

@@jemand8462 Solid advice, I read this book called "Atomic Habits" - it's the environment you're in that resets you back to your default behaviour. I struggled like the guy Rich was giving advice to, still living with my parents at 27/28. So I decided to quit my job, take my laptop to travel Japan, Indonesia and Australia Was away for 6 months but came back completely different, as soon as I was back at my parents the first thing I did was look for a new place to stay (didn't have to be the best, was decent). From there life moved to a better trajectory. @Chris Gray advice is solid, if a person can just go rogue - do it!

[@BlackLabelExpat]

When I was younger I could spend 11 hours per day playing total annihilation (game). So I experienced no computer fatigue when working online and like this guy never had many reasons to leave the houses except for food. It's a trade off. There are things I can do with software/hardware that many will scratch their head with and like wise there are many social cues and situations that my male friends navigate where I scratch my head. Like rich said balance your time. Schedule a few times out of week where you do something outside with other people until you find something you like.

[@geoffmary1767]

Great advice on building own experiences which in turn will build social confidence. As the father of boys his age I can say one thing that my guys did that they loved and created many stories- including hopefully some I did not hear - was to do social travel with company like Contiki or Topdeck that targets his age group.

[@phileo5312]

This idiotic world makes people think that adult virginity is socially awkward. We’re the real idiots here.

[@Dan-bz8zh]

Dude, TRAVEL, TRAVEL, TRAVEL! Best thing I've ever done. Here I am, watching this video rather than getting outside and doing something interesting or working on making money, so thanks for the reminder

[@RogerM88]

If you want to date a nice girl and companion, avoid places like pubs, bars, and gyms. Try some other group activities like in social work, charity, local libraries, local Church, live music cafe. Are the places to go.

[@Toastyy911]

Got stuck in a groove of coming home after work and locking myself away, playing video games, ignoring real life, after my divorce. I did this for 4 months before i finally snapped out of it. I could see what was happening to me mentally and just made the choice to change. There isn’t a specific thing that helped, other than a really good friend that never gave up on me. But i can somewhat understand where he is with the social anxiety, as it took me a few weeks to become myself again.

[@kazuhiramiller3425]

Taking up traveling really did change life for me. I was in my early twenties, was tired of waiting for friends to come with me. Just booked a flight to Thailand and the first night in a hostle. And improvised from that day for a month, nothing planned. Picked up some new friends on the road and had an awesome adventure. I can advise to do the same to any socially awkward male. Just talk to other travelers in the hostel, ask if they want to play a party of pool on the fd up pool table of the hostel and you will make friends to travel with. Or do shit on your own and gain some perspective.

[@fernendo4]

To this dude: Take your laptop to Starbucks and code there. Invest your money in stocks, your coding background will give you advantage in the software and tech sector. Sit at a park and people watch everyday. Workout and run 3x a week. Get a part time job at a Walmart or Home Depot because you will meet hot coworkers and the turnover rate is high. Those things have worked wonders for me. Good luck.

[@ashog1426]

Lol i cant work at walmart gotta make cheese bro but i respect the strategy

[@Fatelvis2]

@@ashog1426 I worked in I.T. got a second job in retail it helped with my depression and loneliness and enabled me to travel to (about) 15 countries

[@oliveoildwk2856]

This is an incredibly helpful video

[@xpallodoc]

Sounds like he’s doing pretty good minus the lack of experience and anxiety. Go volunteer somewhere like Australia to work on a farm for example where they mostly cover your expenses and you get to hang out with other people your age. Or you could come be my greatest disciple

[@Assassin2117]

Dive headfirst into new hobbies. Try out everything that interests you. Talk to people that are involved with things that you're trying out.

[@acburson4482]

He just needs to go out and experience life. Find a gym and make friends with men you meet. Find a hobby outside of video games. Travel to new places and experience new things. You need to fix yourself before you even think about a relationship. You can still date but date multiple women. Nothing serious until you are comfortable in who you are. Don't lie to women it always comes back on you. Remember men have to become. You are still young so you will be fine.

[@averagejoe1943]

Damn Good Advice!!!!

[@tsujack]

Already 30 and am at the point of “old man on bench or something watching nature or waiting for someone to sit and talk”. Moved back in with parent because of illness. Bachelor’s degree at least. Currently working at a private company similar to a Amazon warehouse. 4 years of work still in same starting position. No chance of promotion working off and on 6 days a week. Illness didn’t show till I was 26. If I don’t know what a shitty situation that is who does? In situation not by choice but the “random number game”. I call friends etc and never receive calls back or people calling me but the telemarket scammers who are fun to talk to. Both sides of family are annoying me for kids etc. Well what can you do when life throws a shitty situation at you but to adapt and try and enjoy hobbies.

[@scottsevits9408]

I was a virgin that hadn't dated or kissed a girl until after i turned 26. i was raised in a religion that forbade sex before marriage. I don't recall my father ever talking to me about girls/women, then again his parents didn't talk to him about them either. I yried going to college but everyone in my former religion were like why are yiu doing that, the world isn't going to last long enough for that to matter. I had wanted to enlist but my father informed me that my heart murmur would disqualify me so i didn't try. I told my mom when i was 20 i wanted to eventually get married and have a family. she told me two things, 1. you are too young. and 2. you aren't ready. my mother and father got married at 19 and 20 years old. she didn't say that to my younger sister who dated and married a guy 3 years younger when she was 20 and he had just turned 18, a year later they married. I was a bit awkward around new people but was able to talk to girls. i did go out and do things with friends but none of the girls seemed intetested in me. looking back i feel like a very late bloomer and wish i was back then how i am now. now at 55 i earn more that i ever have, i am 1 debt away from being debt free, however I don't earn enough to attract younger women and i am not into this hookup culture.

[@keithmellor4034]

Great advice for the entire younger generation, especially dudes from single mom families.

[@mikeparrott8304]

I feel for this guy, at least he has the ( extremely full) balls to ask for help.

[@majorkade]

I left a comfy job (in my late twenties) that wasn't inspiring me anymore. Traveled around Asia by myself for six months, then lived overseas for almost five years. Married to a red-pill dream and take people hiking in the Appalachian mountains. Some things happened by chance, but definitely lots of growth resulted from "breaking fee" and being pro-active. I recommend traveling for an extended period of time. Teaching English for a year is a way to do it if $$ is a big factor. When done, you can always return to your home country and pursue other things.

[@Ndw1995]

1:24 The therapist sounds like he hasn't interacted with other humans for at least 2 decades

[@bradojacko8247]

6 1, 172lbs and 100k/year...this guy is already top 5% of America. And he is only 25! It would take so little for this guy to just show up and be successful. And he already has charisma enough for a youtube channel that works. This seems like a ploy to advertise his KZbin site or something. This is bizarre.

[@stiljanohaniaj3777]

I used to isolate myself for 5 years too i was an illegal immigrant in Germany when i came back to my country dated some low value chicks and i felt awkard around them they had to much masculine energy then i started working out hit the gym read more books but still im not building the status its a hursh country living in Albania i follow Rich since 2019 great content and im hoping getting a personal training one day

[@topnotch8432]

Building my confidence was a direct result of lifting weights and healthier eating. I was 143lbs @ 6ft3 when I left home and now at 25 years old I'm 220lbs 6ft3 Rich is right, no man will say that building muscle was a waste of time

[@dmaverick2396]

I agree ....get experiences and show the ladies you are passionate about things you have discovered. Woman love a man that has passions in their lives. It helps form connections authentically. This leads to physical intimacy.

[@Gonzo_Bubb]

He's a high value target. Hopefully you can help him.

[@smilodon92]

I was this kind of guy, but it didn't bother me much. I still enjoy my own company. And because I didn't overthink my situation, I made a few friends along the road. Just put yourself out in the world. Community volunteering, social events. If you go to enough events, you'll surprisingly find the same people from different events you've been to and can make good friendships. It's couldn't be as easier as this.

[@brycewetzel196]

I like this guy. Great video.

[@thevegastan]

I hope Video Sponsor sees this. One important thing I see not mentioned here to tackle social awkwardness and anxiety, is to make the off-screen interactions the very FIRST, and LAST, activity of each and every day. Doesn’t matter how long it is, whether it’s 1 hour or 6 minutes. Or how many people. The goal here is to accomplish 2 things: 1. By reintroducing this sort of activity to help reset the neuroplasticity of your social framework. Remember, the older you get, the less “plastic” your brain 🧠 is gonna be. There’s a reason behind the saying “old habits die hard”. 2. The FIRST activity fixation, is to delay your stimulus from the dominant habits and shift the focus to where you wanna head to - bettering your social skills. And the LAST wrap up, is to refresh it again before you sleep (the brain 🧠 relays a lot of your daytime neural processes passively during your sleep), AND allows you to consciously review this new approach of life - how you FELT, what did you SAY, what have you OBSERVED, where could you improve, how MUCH did you progressed, compared to the you yesterday. Every little bit builds. And it applies to everything. Frame control. Game. Your bank accounts. Muscle mass. Keep at it!

[@The_Philosophical_Pugilist]

A great video Rich and great advice.👍 I really feel for the dude I relate to a lot of what he feels as someone that's experienced bad social anxiety and isolated themselves at times periodically for long spans of time . The only difference is the causation of my isolation was more down to traumatic experiences as a child which caused severe depression which lead to anxiety . I haven't had zero experiences like him though I'd say I've sampled life really. I've had various life experiences just not as many as I should have if i was compared to most my age and it's that which has lead to not achieving anywhere near my potential or purpose YET which I know is great. I've made bad decisions when it comes to women I settled no doubt about it in the past which was influenced by insecurity and lack of knowledge in this area when it comes to women. I've basically sacrificed huge parts of myself for women ignorantly but no not anymore . I wish I knew all this shit about women etc a decade ago but as good as a father my dad was he was defecient at guiding me in this area as he has been no good with women he's been a soft touch and was taken advantage off his whole life by my mother and his wife before her. So I didn't have that role model in that area but now I see the light and I'm encorperarting this knowledge and I'm seeing the positive difference better late than never 😂. Advice I'd give the lad in the video and this is what I will teach my boys is not only be fit so you feel good learn how to fight in any martial art discipline you choose because that hugely increases your confidence knowing what you are capable of. I got involved in boxing a little late I wanted to at age 15 but waited until I was like 25 😂 but I got hooked even obsessive about it leading me to be very skilled at it, shame I found it late. Boxing taught me what I'm capable of , it taught me discipline, control but most importantly it taught me about myself what my weaknesses were how much I can take etc which reflects you in life . It's a deeply spiritual practice it truely reveals and develops your character they refer to the ring as the square circle of truth and it certainly is.

[@ameerulaqmalmalek9470]

Keep up the good work.

[@saazeh]

great advice

[@slaymanderolli6336]

25 same situation dont know if i could ever be happy after this

[@MeZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ]

Rich if you think him only traveling to Ohio and Texas is strange you're drastically underestimating how many places young single men have been to. When there's no gf demanding to travel few dudes actually spend money to take solo trips.

[@filipefigueiredo9847]

This Wasn't until my first LTR that I actually went outside of my city and planned a trip (excluding when I was a kid and was dragged along with my mother, aunt and grandmother out of necessity)

[@hakuxi9193]

1st hand Experiences creates different perspectives which can lead to growth.

[@tonystyles21]

Can't believe there are guys out there like this, but I guess if I was always inside in front of a computer as a kid it's not too hard to believe

[@hughobrien4436]

He at least has time on his side but he has to act !

[@craig84downunder]

For me look at the computer as a tool nothing more, otherwise you will end up living in four corners and not the endless possibilities reality offers!

[@Gigi-um8gj]

I genuinely love watching these videos because they help me see the world better from men’s points of views and understand how some of these guys are genuinely good people and not just creepy perverts like my mam always told me growing up

[@Jacob-jg5lj]

I think the best advice is to go have experiences. Even if he never got into an LTR with anyone, people would find him fascinating. That would give him confidence. He already has the looks, income and knowledge to get him a great life.

[@spiritodisincarnato5989]

From a fellow much older Austinite: nothing will boost your confidence more than sleeping with this girl who is interested in you. Go for it, many guys don't even get this chance in this way. Just don't get wrapped up in a relationship. Beware oneitis - it will create more destruction that you can imagine - you are likely prone to it. Also, don't psych yourself out by dwelling on what you have not done. You will almost certainly have things you've wanted to do but hadn't at every stage of life. If you compare yourself to others you're bound to find something to make you feel inadequate. There's always gonna be someone more Chaddier than you. Rich gives great advice. In my view the most important of which is to take action, get out there and do some interesting things. You moved to Austin - that's a great start - bravo!

[@jojo1232ish]

same problem i started to go out in a bar alone and stop asking for permission to do thing i like

[@a_a_1199]

a pomohlo? ci inak sa spýtam spoznal si tam aj nejakých nových ludí?

[@jc3858]

It honestly sounded like you were talking to me. I became depressed after my step father left and became a recluse. My mum loved it as she has her ‘baby’ at home with her however that baby was an adult child moving through his 20s in his room playing video games. Only recently did I actually break out of the bubble that I need to push myself to overcome social anxiety. You don’t need to strive and struggle. Socialising should be so fun and I forgot for sooo many years to just do the things that I enjoy and want to do not have to do! When I was a kid I was always hanging out with mates very popular actually and at nature a very sociable person. The rest of this year and next year is all about fun for me and enjoying life. That’s it.

[@jc3858]

I’m 32 now and my mum died about 3 years ago. Life kind of forced me to become a man as I have no contact with my father. I can’t wait for so many wonderful experiences of life because at the end of the day that’s all we have and will look back upon is life experience.

[@DaKussh]

lol he seeks help, at 27 and with Asperger's I haven't had seks or a relationship, I've been blessed.