Reading BAD Small Town Business Reviews!

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[@derekhernandez9000]

My favorite part of the video was when Austin referred to himself as “the Dick Pound guy” 12 times while blowing the smoke away from his finger guns.

[@tonysteve78]

Do this again but with 1 star reviews of county jails. Yes you can leave google reviews of jails and they are great.

[@Shrug_Sanity]

Hey y’all should do an episode where one of y’all gather crazy local show stories from Facebook and make the other one guess what state/scene it happened in (giving them multiple choice options)

[@OvergrownWithTheMoss]

That’s gold

[@svinjamaria]

There have been so many times where Austin says something so perfect, so out of left field or so relatable that I have to belt out laughter immediately; then rewind to collect what I couldn’t hear from my own laughter

[@sarahroth7034]

The only time I made a complaint online was when I went to a Mod Pizza and there were flies all over the pizza toppings. It was so bad I called the health department. I didn't want to be THAT person, but someone could have actually gotten really sick.

[@travismcdaneld9656]

So happy to learn that Jared plays magic lmao

[@clorox.drinker._9369]

Love getting consistent uploads from you guys now, always great having something new to look forward to

[@necroguy567]

I’m loving the new video ideas

[@destroslash321]

Not sure what state the vertical ID one was in but here in California it doesn't matter if it's vertical or horizontal. The only thing that matters is that you're actually 21+. Tbh I'd probably be mad too if they didn't even bother checking the date and just rejected me for having a vertical ID

[@anastasiaftw5454]

I used to be annoyed with people having vertical ID's but now I just look at the dates and details and move on lol

[@crimsonrose4648]

The only time I've ever left a bad review was back when I could still eat out and I asked them to not put any tomatoes because I'm allergic and the lady *hid* tomatoes in my food and when my mom took it back cuz I found a tomato, the lady at the front said she "didn't believe in allergies" was trying to "test" me because I was probably just picky. This was on a to go order even if it wasn't absolutely insane to "test" someone with a food allergy in the first place like how would you even tell since you'd never see them again. There were a ton of reviews for this place that were the same as mine so it definitely wasn't a one time thing. I was very sick that day and it was the last time I ever went to that franchise it was insane.

[@kevinraymond614]

Jared plays MTG? We gotta see some of the collection!

[@michaelberresford4291]

Agreed

[@Arthemesia]

You guys seriously need to do more of this! Get a map of the U.S. with a bunch of cities and throw a dart at the end of each episode, then we know what city you will hit next ;) Also people need to like this video

[@Dollparade321]

Bad vet clinics are a bummer. My vet has been awaiting his next court date for charges of sexual assault, filming people screwing without consent, and exposing himself in public back in 2007. He's a good vet I've gone to for years, so I mean it's crappy that he did all that but he owns the clinic and I'm not looking forward to finding a new one when he goes to jail. Our other local clinic is owned by a vet facing a class action lawsuit for abusing clients' animals in the back and causing many deaths through malpractice.

[@Behemoth138]

We definitely need some more of these yelp videos

[@tlee656]

You guys definitely should do more of these!! Being a local makes it even more entertaining!! Thanks for this! Had me laughing the entire time!

[@MetalisBae]

Truly could watch these for hours. Keep up the great content bois!

[@DC-yb7qd]

One time at amici’s the owner was asking if we wanted to watch some poop come out of his poopchute and take a video so he can go for the Guinness book of world records for taking the longest shit in front of all the customers and he said he would fart loud in everyone’s face and send everyone to the doctors for pink eye as a token of appreciation for getting the world record for taking the longest shit in the world

[@IFeastOnGlue]

The ID story is a bummer. The fact that your ID can be scanned and show that you are in fact of legal drinking age, but since it isn't the orientation they want, they deny you. Where I live, the orientation doesn't matter as long as it proves you are of age.

[@reubenk7331]

🤣 Those were pretty good. I think some of these people need to submit to AITA. I certainly enjoyed this! Thanks guys 🙂

[@jesuscr1tikal]

the fact that this was right on top of a gus johnson video makes it much better

[@charliejamz.]

This was hilarious.

[@bensbikex510]

Walgreens is the spot for postcards, picture frames , photo prints etc. Weird they didn't have post cards.

[@tylerrobertst-rob1731]

Oh Yeahhh!!!!

[@DC-yb7qd]

One time I was at Amici’s and the owner was going diarrhea on the ground in front of all the customers and pooped his ass right after he pissed his pants in front of all the children

[@gagekale]

This was pretty funny! I myself have left Yelp reviews but always positive, though it's not often I have a negative experience. As well I work in retail. I'd hate to get a bad review because I might be having a bad day so I couldn't do that to someone else.

[@910BMX]

Great vid, damn I’ve missed your channel

[@no-ml4yi]

4:30 I have been summoned

[@v.inspire_]

this was fucking hilarious

[@discopreacha]

I feel like I have been to all of these places ... I lived in the PNW for years and this sounds like Puyallup LOL

[@brendondemmitt5858]

Let's do more yelp!!

[@Adam-df6wy]

Yo Jared into MTG! Let’s go!

[@DC-yb7qd]

The last time we went to amici’s the cook was throwing up into the pasta sauce and serving it up to the elders for a discount right after he diarrhea’s into the salad bowl right before the owner pissed his ass in the parking lot

[@DC-yb7qd]

One time at amici’s the owner stood on one of the customers table and he proceeded to diarrhea all over the customers food and right after he farted in the front of his loyal customers and said this is how I would like to congratulate you by giving the customers pink eye so he can commemorate his loyal customers by sending them to the doctors for pink eye

[@DC-yb7qd]

Last time we went to amici’s the owner was scratching his ass with one of the spatulas right after he coughed up some phlegm into the garden salad and right before he farted into the intercom so all the customers could hear right after he was waiting a table and he pissed his pants in front of the customers and started laughing like a wild wildebeest right before he pooped on the menus before he handed them out

[@TheMikeFlood]

Great intro boys loooool

[@AaronMorgan666]

Hahahahaha! Dudes! More!

[@Nicoleth]

Man that’s one thing I didn’t enjoy in the US, customer service was whack 😅 a shock bc everyone is polite in my country

[@Tasmick55]

i would say for the Le fitness one that the customer had gone there for along time and they used to allow them to enter the gym as a registered guest on the members account. I used to work at one and also go there to use the gym still and the rules were alot more lax a few years ago not sure if that complaint was recent thoe. i believe we only had around 3 people actually use that thoe in order to use the gym since we did need to confirm witht he member that it was ok for them to be there.

[@joeschmoe5009]

Think about it, in that year til the license expired, they probably spent more than $30 in markups wherever else he went. Had they just spent the $30, theyd have saved more 😂🤦

[@DannyGoCrazy]

Dickeydines is the best show fight me

[@arininquotes8396]

I FORGOT one of the perks of my patreon membership was getting end credits, so seeing my username there was a bit of a jumpscare at first 🤣 great vid as always, loved the new format

[@anastasiaftw5454]

Just wanted to say something about the vertical id thing, where I live in Wisco as long as it's a legit id and it clearly says that the individual is over 21 we can serve them. I used to be kind of annoyed by it but we have to go over the whole thing to make sure it's real anyway so as long as it says they're 21 and it's their own id (not fake, borrowed, expired) they're good.

[@DC-yb7qd]

Last year at amici’s the owner gave all of the customers pink eye by continuously farting in everyone’s eyes where a little bit of diarrhea came out of his poopchute and he got the world record for giving the most amount of paying customers PINK EYE

[@lochnessmonster6182]

part 2!!!

[@sgwolfe]

kinda wild how majority of the places mentioned are within a like 15 minute drive of my house. did not know yall lived near where i do.

[@smarre12]

Always love the "this place is amazing and the food is great, but this one time there was a minor inconvenience so now the place fucking sucks and I will never go there again"

[@lilxgraveyardxshawty420]

Austin reminds me of Charlie from smiling friends

[@Ober1kenobi]

2:00 not once in my life have I taken customer service into consideration when deciding where to eat I’m wanting to eat, not be coddled by a waitress who just wants a tip. Go ring helpline if that’s what you’re after I go out to eat for the food, nothing else If I know the place I’m going to has long wait times I’ll get there earlier or ring ahead and place an order or whatever I’m not taking a second rate option because I get my food quicker “Hey bro, you coming to Timmy’s Tacos, you can’t find tacos like this for the next 2 states” “Nah bro, last time I went I waited 13 and a half minutes, ima go to Taco Bell” Like if you’re that person. Just Fark off yeh lol If you’ll give up the best tacos for hundreds of miles around to get your slops a few minutes earlier, I ain’t trynna hear anything from you

[@RGcrasyRG]

Doxxed, the episode.

[@xpndblhero5170]

I've had some of those ridiculous situations where someone freaks out over something completely obscure... I actually got into a fight over something not being available at a store and I was a customer just standing in line. All I did was say where the item would be and they started yelling about it not being there saying it was the store and me messing w/ him.... As the fight ended and the dude drifted out of the parking lot the cops showed up, then a few minutes later another cop showed up w/ the guy in the back of his car because he crashed into the cop car a couple of blocks away from the store. 😂😂 People are fkn crazy... He actually tried to say that the store and I were working together to steal from him and they actually tried to get me to go to court for it. I adamantly refused.... 😂

[@DC-yb7qd]

The owner of amici’s wanted the world record for the stinkiest shit so he proceeded to poop in front of the customers and he requested the customers to Film him taking the stinkiest shit in the world and the judges all started puking and sure enough he got the Guinness book of world records for taking the stinkiest shit in the entire world in front of everyone

[@rebekahcarter8120]

"Doesn't even sell postcards!" Most boomer thing ever.

[@mitchdesilva9839]

Quiznos...... Got food poisoning the first time and decided just to try it in a separate city just because...got food poisoning again lol

[@tifosistaymad583]

Mike from New Jersey probably wrote that one

[@SpiceGhouls]

I want on holiday to Cancún last year and we stayed in what was a bit of a party hotel. I was reading reviews on trip advisor and one of the one star reviews that made me cringe was the guy who was mad at the hotel for charging him $95 because his girlfriend hurled on the duvet because of “food poisoning” he accused them of causing 🤦‍♀️

[@travisdelee8647]

Carpet calamari?? Lol

[@skulibaumgardner242]

i did an extreme opposite of these people because i got a plate of spaghetti bolognese with a human tooth in it and i didnt say anything

[@johnpsmith1187]

Had no idea yall lived so close to me im over by ft lewis

[@no-ml4yi]

I've never heard anything about the vertical/horizontal ID rule. That must a thing in your guys' state. I'm in the midwest and even if the ID is vertical, the ID is 100% fine as long as it's not expired. That rule just seems really bizarre

[@wes420man]

Helllyeah

[@PlayPodOG]

nah i agree with the yelper on the first on. its objectively shitty customer serve to not pay attention to the customer who just walked in. i work at a jimmy johns where we do inshop, delivery, and drivethrough and we don't neglect anyone. we get to everyone we can as soon as we can while completing orders

[@DietDeathMetal]

Worked in a Magic shop for about 4 years. Been to a lot of them played for a very long time. I do not like going into Magic shops. So often talking to the guy behind the counter is like watching someone's mouth fall down stairs if they interact at all. Including some of my own coworkers.

[@michaelberresford4291]

Yooo Jared plays mtg? Awesome

[@samcrorie]

😂

[@CellarSpiderRae]

so i noticed that your dickeydines merch store DOESNT HAVE POSTCARDS whattt the frick, guys

[@lilkalilla8718]

good things dont last long ...

[@heddlok]

SEE YA LATER NEW ENGLAND! RI IS PART OF OR NOW!!! :)

[@Savitzen]

Small head big body Austin is Canon. I will not provide further context.

[@axzilluber]

Jarod, you should have Pretty Womaned it!

[@mikey2dropz301]

Jared plays magic??

[@GhostKill88]

A first time fine for underage service is 5000$ out of the individual servers pocket. The company can get fined also, but that 5000$ fine comes from the individual, so who in their right mind is going to throw a literal toddler fit over being carded? I've told people straight up, FUCK NO, AND FUCK OFF IF ITS A PROBLEM, because it's disrespectful AF to put that liability on me.... FOH

[@pooflinger7]

I'm pretty tired, had a long day at work, but otherwise doing well. Thanks for asking.

[@CaptinPaulx]

I was absolutely disappointed the intro didn't turn into Spongebob Squarepants. My disappoint is is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

[@sheelty2301]

7/11 😢

[@SMFSS]

Live?

[@TheDickeyDinesShow]

…oh, yes.

[@raz9305]

4:04 ask them if they got any good pulls. That will most likely get their attention whether they say it's awesome or not. Then if they look back down ask them if they work at the store. That causes curiousity and maybe pride in some. Mention "I have a Black Lotus but I don't know what edition it is." and then say you got it in your car and you'll be right back and then just leave. They will think about the words "Black Lotus" and "edition" for however long they want to, but they will feel it in the Nuts of Hope, even if they would be a chick.

[@raz9305]

Better yet, if you had a swamp card (this takes commitment) and try as long as you can to try to convince them that the skull looks like a lotus. (Don't be afraid to use a phone. If you do, search up what a swamp card looks like and show them the skull of it while saying "see? It's the lotus"). Continue on until they almost want to kick you out of the store.

[@raz9305]

Or you could say "are you two together" while pointing at the two people. It'll be easy to go off that.

[@michaelberresford4291]

The management is rude The clerks are rude The postcards not real This, is, Wall Greens

[@AlienKissy]

Geez. Calling out the purple highlights AND the name??

[@sanyo_neezy]

love this channel, you guys are the best :D Great humor, fun content, good vibes. However it effin annoys me that your cables are different (one winded around the stand, the other one not). 1 Star :p Seriously tho, my inner autist is kinda triggered by this xD

[@DC-yb7qd]

So this year the owner of amici’s was able to get the world record for the most amount of boogers flicked on customers plates without them knowing he was able to secretly flick a booger on everyone’s plate while they were eating so he got the Guinness book of world records for secretly flicking boogers on each customers plate

[@DC-yb7qd]

One time we went to amici’s and the owner was showing the customers a picture of a piece of shit he had in the toilet and he proceeded to diarrhea all over his pants and was showing the table next to us the brown stains on his underwear and yellow pee stains on his trousers and a green fart came out of his ass when he aimed it at a group of people and gave them all pink eye and they had to go to the doctors to get treated for pink eye

[@DC-yb7qd]

Last time I went to that magic shop the guy was rubbing the cards on his asshole and I seen him go to the bathroom and used the cards to wipe his ass right before selling them to a customer and the customer went home and got pink eye because the worker wiped his ass with the cards before he sold them now the customer has to pay for the doctors appointment from getting pink eye from the magic shop

[@malachischarfe3781]

927th

[@dommguard]

The gas station one just saddens me. What kind of 3rd world shithole has the USA become? Edit: WTF is this about horizontal and vertical license?

[@wolfsguitarden740]

Lol😅..watch u get a comment from the owner of the local restaurant.bet!at the least a waiter.

[@mitchdesilva9839]

Quiznos...... Got food poisoning the first time and decided just to try it in a separate city just because...got food poisoning again lol

[@Lazarusaffect]

Quiznos became Quiznope 💀💀