RED FLAGS OF TOXIC FAMILY BONDS CAUSED BY TRAUMA: HOW TO SPOT THEM

Emotional bonds from trauma or a toxic relationship can derail you.
And it can completely destroy you if that negative emotional bond is with a family member.
Human beings function on emotional bonds.
It's one of the most important aspects of who we are.
Humans need emotional connection to attach and to feel safe.
An emotional bond that is healthy can protect against family trauma or other traumatic situations.
Without a healthy emotional bond (especially in a toxic family), connection and attachment to others is lost.
A manipulative person can also use emotional bonds to control you.
Years of complex PTSD, family trauma, and relationship trauma can occur.
In this video, I discuss spotting trauma bonds and negative emotional bonds in your life.
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#trauma #TRAUMABONDS
#tamarahilllpc #TOXICFAMILY
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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
0:00 intro
1:19 how the family emotional bonds operate
2:19 intermittent harm
3:27 7 STAGES OF TOXIC FAMILY TRAUMATIC BONDING
4:10 addiction to the ups and downs
5:12 love-boming and criticism
5:32 loss of identity
6:13 TRAUMATIC BONDING THEORY
7:25 WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU
7:55 you may struggle with finding your own voice
8:12 you may be confused by your empathy and shared experience
8:49 central nervous system dominance
9:30 you may self-blame and self-sabotage
10:51 you are in psychological warfare/spiritual warfare
11:20 you may have cognitive distortions ("thinking errors")
13:00 dependent personality develops
13:50 "well...at least I'm...."
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Mentioned In The Video:
1.Oxytocin www.health.harvard.edu/mind-a...
2. Dopamine www.health.harvard.edu/mind-a...
3. Bonding after trauma: on the role of social support and the oxytocin system in traumatic stress www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
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Music:
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🎵 Track Info:
Epidemic Sound
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at [e-mail]. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
Mail me stuff!
PO BOX 15747
Robinson Township, PA 15244
*FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
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Website - www.anchoredinknowledge.com
Instagram: thilltherap...
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Permission must be given before videos are used.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

To see my live chat on this topic and people-pleasing , click here kzbin.infoDqGIGHAfpcQ?si=dIeJWbB7hGtmXlMA. For a video on BPD and trauma bonds, click here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3uxnJePp7ataM0

[@DeborahOlander]

Sorry I had to miss the live chat. I was in a trauma recovery group organizing meeting.

[@darrylharris756]

Thank you so much I really needed to take a look and find myself in this topic...🌴🌿🌹🌱🌵🌛💯🌜

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

No apologies needed at all. I hope you are well!

[@nancybartley4610]

I fought acknowledging that my family didn't care anything about me. It was very hard to accept, even now I just blame myself as defective. Trauma bonding is the only explanation that makes sense. They do something positive and you are, as you said Tamara, back in hook, line and sinker to be abused and discarded over and over. My need to love and be loved, to have a secure island in a chaotic life outweighed logic.

[@happydays199]

I am dealing with trauma bond from my maternal aunt, my mom and my dad. It seems so hard to just cut my mom and aunt out. My aunt feels I need to be responsible for her but yet I shouldnt be, because I was neglected and abused all of my childhood while I was with my mom and aunt.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry to hear this. It isn't easy to break these bonds. It may take time, wisdom, and strategy over time.

[@harrisre-nee3017]

Thank you so much for this GOLDEN information!!!👏🏿❤️ You are a brilliant woman and your time and energy are immensely appreciated!!🏆💐🌬️✨

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You are so welcome!! Glad this was helpful. And thank you!!❤

[@AKUBARIKI]

Thank you so much for all your content. Please could 🙏🏾 you do a video on Emotional Incest specific to Father and adult 20's son ? This dynamic is unique. Please Most if not all the material out there talks about mother and son....

[@recoveringsoul755]

Also father and daughter. My husband loved taking my daughter out in my dresses and all the attention he got because she's gorgeous. A younger version of me . He got his picture taken with her and published in the company newsletter. When I told her she couldn't wear my dress anymore because it's dry clean and she was damaging it and I had to get it cleaned and repaired, he overheard me and started arguing about how she should be able to wear it because it looked good on her. (she looked good on him). I bought that dress when she was 3 years old. She had a rainbow of assorted gowns from dances. But she liked my little black dress. It's emotional incest. The child plays therapist and grown up so maybe they feel important after previously being ignored and neglected. Children are desperate for the love of their parents. In the absence of that, they'll settle for any attention, even negative attention (from misbehaving), is better than no attention at all, or neglect.

[@Marie-ts8rp]

Thank you Tamara🌈🤗

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You are so welcome🤗

[@papayanyia]

I’m going through a difficult time right now and found your videos while searching the internet for situations similar to mine. They’ve helped me realize that I’m not as alone as I thought and that my feelings/experiences are valid. I’m still hurting, but your content gives me hope that I can eventually start healing. Thank you for your work. I’m hoping that someday I’ll be able to reach out to you for counseling.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry to hear this. You will get through it and the more you learn, the stronger you get. Knowledge truly is power. It may not take away all the pain, but it can help heal some of those thoughts and feelings of uncertainty, questioning, fear, anxiety, etc. Overtime, you will realize your strength coming back to you. And you're welcome! So glad my videos have been helpful to you. May God give you peace along the way.

[@RashadRoss-cv2pu]

Good work

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you so much 😀

[@shaolinmonk]

I feel like it a lot of mixed emotions and especially with people you surround yourself with family and people you meet in your life especially if you're chosen one people don't like to see good in you they always want to bring you down with there feelings off of you when your doing your best they want to come up with something to bring you down by using family members of friends that you know or even the law system to get you in tn the depressive State of mind because you have the light if Jesus in you

[@silentwalk1768]

Great job tamera so glad I found you 😂🎉❤

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you! And glat to have you on the channel.

[@PeaceYall666]

Colonialism is the Daddy of Narcissism

[@TheRetroWoman80]

I agree. Oppressive systems that have ruled the world for centuries could not succeed without the carnage, dehumanizing and complete empathy lack, which narcissistic psychopaths are all about.

[@fairygurl9269]

🪶 💞"No Phoney Love" Nas