Mark Lanegan Talks His Worst Day As An Addict | His Terrible Withdrawal Story in London

[@mountzod]

I've been there. Probably spent, in sum, years of my life dopesick and desperate for relief. On April 15th I'll have 5 years clean. We do recover.

[@johndef5075]

Stay strong. You're a small percentage.

[@bonowastaken]

@@johndef5075 thats a lame thing to say

[@ChrisIrving-f7k]

Nice congrats

[@Strawman333]

@@bonowastakenWhat? The truth?

[@BadLuckLuke]

Stay clean bro ✔️

[@RedLooney]

I was a heroin addict for over 20 years. I’ve been through withdrawal hundreds, if not thousands, of times. I’ve been sober for 6 years, now. I can’t say I’ll never use again, but I know I won’t use today.

[@0tt0z]

All the best to you!

[@tommyconancoates7097]

Pretty much the same story here, only I have 7 years clean now. Problem is that there's no more heroin available in my area anymore. It's all fentanyl and tranq now.

[@chinchilla2971]

Same here. Started with oxy’s then went to H. When everything started going to fent I was done. It’s just not the same at all. 6 years clean. 🙏

[@kentrey]

Hugs

[@yommmrr]

Brother, you would be sooooo fkn stupid to start using again.

[@sirchromiumdowns2015]

I wouldn't wish dope-sickness on my worst enemy. If you think heroin or opiates of any kind are romantic, imagine simultaneously shitting yourself and puking while all of your joints ache mercilessly, whilst also feeling the chills and heat flashes. It SUCKS. Stay off opiates. Please do yourself a huge favor.

[@hangingon]

And not being able to sleep for days/weeks on end as you endure the agony.

[@81millionvotes]

Amen..this brings back vivid memories,the kind I wish I could forget..I pray I never feel that again,and I never touch heroin,but pills did enough that I wished I was dead many nights..

[@corkystclair7475]

And the fucking anxiety.... it's overwhelming

[@D-Fens_1632]

I thought pill withdrawal was terrible until I transferred it to a serious addiction to alcohol. My second day into that in the hospital I was wishing it was opioid withdrawal. It took a really long time to feel relatively normal again. Sometimes I feel I still have lingering brain damage. It's not a pissing contest by any means but you can drink yourself into irreversible dementia, die from withdrawal seizures, and speed up cancers, among many other problems. I wish I'd never gotten into either substance but I found alcohol so much more destructive and incapable of functioning on. That said, you generally know where you are with alcohol, and generally know if you're going to wake up again. The lethal unpredictability of opiates makes them so much more dangerous in an immediate sense. They're not really bad for your body at all like the way alcohol is so poisonous, but the same sized pile of powder you did yesterday and were complaining wasn't strong enough is the same size that might take you out the next. Anyway addiction is addiction, it's all Hell, the trip there is shorter and the wallpaper just looks different depending on your poison.

[@JeremyKenny-h9p]

The crawl up the spine that keeps you from being able to get comfortable in any position can drive a person to the brink of madness and suicide. Cold turkey is hell on earth.

[@johntucci8826]

Was just in that horrible state yesterday, I'm 53 and pretty much out of options I'm truly happy seeing all these comments of people on their years of sobriety.

[@jackhale371]

There is still some hope for you man. I know it doesn't feel like it in the moment cuz I've been there. But you can make it

[@bobbobertson7568]

If you got a pulse it's not too late

[@bigdaddypiggy]

I’m 52 & have 3 years clean & really it’s as simple as just having enough & making the decision that only YOU can make ….its not impossible unless you make it so

[@jackmcmullin8616]

I believe in you brother, much love and high hopes for you

[@marcliebich9166]

Suboxone saved my life. A near fatal head on collision almost ended it. You have to make that choice bro. I'm 54 and have been clean since 11/23/21. There is life and happiness after dope. Dopesick is the worst. I feel your pain. Just hang on man. You got this.

[@turningwrenches89]

Been there done that. But not as a famed rockstar. Just a dopefiend on the city streets of baltimore, Killing myself 10 dollars at a time. It’s been over 2 decades now, my ripping and running, was during the whole grunge movement. There was a relation there to the music and my addictions, Alice, Stone, Nirvana, Hole ect….i remember how crazy in the head I was, I remember wanting to take a trip out to Seattle, or LA to experience the tar…..homeless, bandos’ prisons, detention centers was my life then. I’m now typing this in the comfort of our home, my wife, 4 kids, a pretty damn good career as a millwright, (considering the late start) Thank God. It wasn’t all me.

[@M0RGAT0RY]

Same; from Philadelphia

[@Doyouevenart69]

Same except I was living and using in Southern California-LA and OC and Austin,Tx…I found amazing Mexican black in Texas..I do feel you though…but I can’t say I necessarily wanted to visit Baltimore or the east coast when I was using. However I certainly was always curious and wanted to try the dope from out there back in the day. Anyways Glad to be in recovery now, fuck that lifestyle…I don’t miss it at all

[@j.g.junior9835]

Hey skyz! I remember. Love u bro. Stay well. Just relating...baltimoron here❤

[@turningwrenches89]

@@j.g.junior9835 boss salute!!!! Love bro!!!! Stay up smoke!!!

[@turningwrenches89]

@@M0RGAT0RY salute family

[@Onelightoftheworld]

I have four years today free of drugs and alcohol. I’m grateful for my recovery.

[@LumpyFPV]

Hell yeah 🤘🏼❤️‍🔥

[@Oran_Lee_Bass]

A belated CONGRATULATIONS!!! I have just about the same, my friend. Keep on keepin' on! Much love!

[@Onelightoftheworld]

@@LumpyFPV thank you so much! It hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it

[@Onelightoftheworld]

@@Oran_Lee_Bass Thank you 🙏🏼

[@Oran_Lee_Bass]

@@Onelightoftheworld of course, my friend. And although we’re strangers just chatting on a YT video, I’m so glad we are both still here and able to chat with one another. And please, 🙏 keep going forward. I know those four years were probably tough for you just like they were (and sometimes still are) for me, but you know what? You are tough as hell too. We both are. Cheers!

[@plasmaborn369]

Most people that have never been on H just think we spent the entire time nodding and on cloud 9. I was sick atleast 3 days a week. There is no words to describe cold turkey withdrawal.. especially off methadone. I didnt sleep once for over a month. Sounds impossible but its not. Kratom saved my life.

[@matthewensign9683]

Indeed. Kratom saved my life as well. No cravings of any kind now. It's wonderful.

[@BigBaller-he1dz]

How much kratom and how often? Please. ​@@matthewensign9683

[@JustDatBoi]

Kratom didn’t do shit for me and I tried all kinds of strains

[@dextermorgan1]

Oh, no. It's not impossible. I've done it too from withdrawals from methadone. I'd have given anything for some relief.

[@richierugs6544]

@@JustDatBoi i wonder why that is, just physiology maybe?

[@ScottyPeabody]

Tell you what: the rawness of this is so beautiful that I feel like I’m dope sick right now just hearing him and I’ve been clean 13 years.

[@ThiccChickCrisha]

Same. I remember being that sick. Omg I don't miss it.

[@BradyIsAfagInHeat]

Dude I felt the same fucking thing. Felt dopesick just reading it but unfortunately also felt the relief when he got his fix, and that pure joy of comfort knowing that all your pain is going away is so great that when he scored it actually made me start fiending for some. Its fucking insane the control the drug has over a persons soul for LIFE.

[@habitualresistor9548]

I know, right?

[@Chris-zi6ki]

I feel that in more ways than one man. Hope you’re doing good bro 💪 hope we all are 🙏

[@tazztower44]

never tried heroin thankfully cause I'm pretty sure I would of liked it too much...puked on blow a few times

[@maryhannahsmith9307]

I love this book. I highly recommend buying the audio version with Mark narrating.

[@TabethaAurochs]

I third (?) this. What a voice Lanegan had. RIP 🖤🖤🖤

[@D-Fens_1632]

I think it's still available on KZbin actually. I usually suggest people buy things but I don't think Mark really left any sort of estate behind. That's a good question, who has the rights to his music? His wife? I pray it's someone who has the sense to respect it and put out demos and things for fans.

[@JJones-cl4dm]

The black vomit.... I remember the first time it happened. I had already been in the throes of withdrawal I think it was day 3 and I couldn't understand where all this black liquid was coming from because I hadn't eaten anything and only had a few sips of water. Needless to say it's one of the most excruciating things I've ever been through. Stay far far away from opiates people. It's living hell. Words cannot describe this agony. You do not want it.

[@DavidKing-sx3ll]

Which book is this from?

[@corynelson9000]

do you have to own audible to buy this?

[@Scotty_Russell_Music]

Such a vividly told depressing story. Sheffield to London with just a tenner in your pocket at midnight in the pissing rain with no phone, no bank card and no bus ticket is a pretty fkn tough journey. It's a minor miracle he made the trip and met his dealer. I respect his endurance. RIP Mark x

[@keiranbradley3238]

The junkie in the throws of withdrawal will go through brick walls to get "sorted",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,24/7, 365!.

[@jaybates1007]

savage

[@sums3080]

3 years clean for me. It was living a waking nightmare for almost 15 yrs. Never again.

[@cathy2210]

Relapse happens so be prepared but like the attitude.

[@rulon6064]

@@cathy2210hope not but yes seems to be that way

[@1nePercentJuice]

This puts me right back to my worst days as an addict. Boundless agony.

[@colinseiler607]

God damn. Never heard someone put such fitting words to such an indescribable experience. "A raw skinless pinball of all exposed nerves".. Speechless at how eloquently he describes this

[@garethclark5489]

he was a talented, intelligent guy. Deeply flawed of course, hated himself. Sadly had very little love as a child I guess heroin might have offered the warmth he had craved as a kid.

[@nickjenkins1663]

​@@garethclark5489😢

[@tommygunn75]

Yeah you're right., "All exposed nerves"... ouch!

[@sparekeiv]

His book "Sing Backwards and Weep" is by far the best rock memoir I've ever read.

[@bellabear653]

Opiate addiction is not easy to explain to those that have not been there. RIP Mark, my brother I feel your pain as most in the comment section will.

[@JAMESGANG-f5u]

At my worst death was demoted down to my #2 biggest fear. Running out/Withdrawals were #1. Some people who don’t really know THINK they know, but they do not. The agony is too severe to be put into words, but I’ll try anyway. It’s like a combo of at least 3 different things hitting you all at once. -The worst flu you ever had X10 -Emotional heartache not unlike your wife left you for another man who’s taller, better looking and rich. AND she took 100% of your stuff. -Lastly it’s exactly like a panic attack except instead of lasting 10-20 minutes it just keeps on for endless hours, days until you score more H or Fentanyl (ultimately any opioid). -Also it’s like the worst hangover imaginable, but in reverse. Instead of gradually feeling better as time goes on you start feeling worse and worse. Until you get your fix. -Once you do manage finding something (and once again squander any hopes of facing the agony and getting clean) Each and every one of those painful, agonizing feelings, both physical and emotional are all washed away as soon as it kicks in. Like going from being outdoors, naked and starving in a blizzard to going indoors with a fireplace, hot tub and a delicious hot meal. Everythings OK now. But in your heart you know that you’ll be facing the pain again and again at some point sooner than later.

[@DavidMorley]

Anyone tempted should read this. I hope you are good now.

[@Mark-ix3zz]

Man I thought of writing shit loads of times but thought who what's to hear my shit,yes flu yes it goes on for days,I been clean but meth over my head and hate it,thanks for being honest bro

[@JoshuaRoberts-kq9cs]

​@@DavidMorleyI know from experience that the only way to beat withdrawals is to not start using in the first place.Do yourself a favour and believe what i wrote.

[@jsc927]

Wow,you nailed it.and if you do get the courage to get help you get a false sense of sobriety by the cursed doctors who feed you suboxone that keeps the sickness away and you foolishly think...I got this. Until a emergency happens and the pharmacy is closed and you realize that the Suboxone has withdrawals every bit as evil as any other opiate. Then real hopelessness hits you,you've been fooled from being a street addict to a pharmacy type addict.

[@johntucci8826]

Well done

[@computersnevergoonstrike]

I feared I was destined to join the 27 club… Instead, I took my cat and acoustic guitar, a bucket, and some fluids to a motel 6…. Ten days of mostly hell, but I’m still clean as I head into my later 30s…. Almost 10 years now…

[@magneto44]

hell yeah, you’ll enjoy your 30’s much more this way

[@themadmattster9647]

10 years is a LONNNG time to stay clean, most "junkies" ive known can't even stay clean 10 months! Congrats!

[@computersnevergoonstrike]

@@themadmattster9647 hanks, man! It's funny, I could tell stories all day about being clean or being dirty, then getting clean briefly, and falling off, etc.... But you nailed it. 10 months.... shit, more like 5 months with me. I'd have moments of cleanliness over a 14-15 year span of use, and it just never lasted until something kicked in. The only time I can say I relapsed at all was in jail while spending 18 unjustified days in Cook County (...not guilty, by the way). Some funny business happened, and as a result, I was denied due processing at my own bond hearing, didn't get a P.D., and things snowballed until a private attorney got my bond set to an appropriate amount that could be met. While in there, I hit a point where I was willing to do anything to feel better, and having been cut off of 3/4 medications I've been taking for 5+ years now, I just wanted relief. I knew stuff was going around-- my second night there, a guy passed out in the shower next to me and I guess he was having an overdose. They got the ol' Narcon out. It was kind of crazy. But drugs went around like a Grateful Dead concert on this block. Every day something seemed to randomly get in. It wasn't a question anybody who seemed to wind up with them wanted to answer, so I didn't push. It's sad and scary, though... One or two bumps, and I was starting to feel all of this nostalgic euphoria all the way to a point where I thought to myself "this isn't that bad.... if I have to stay, I'll just become a complete junkie again." It tricked my brain into feeling so good that I thought I would be fine if I had to stay in Cook County forever. That's fucked up and why I won't use anymore, on top of a million other reasons. For the final week there I had not been using anything... I noticed how aggressive I was the very next morning; I felt those oh-so-familiar withdrawal effects very, very fast; I even think my tolerance was going up slowly but surely, as much as it can in a jail. Fuck that stuff. Junk kills. Benzos aren't much better, either, which is something I won't ever stress enough.

[@computersnevergoonstrike]

@@magneto44 Well, I don't have a ton of them left, and have a lot of medical stuff I need to take care of on top of so many other things. But I can safely say that I would not have been able to hold down a job in a medical (Covid) field for 1+ years, or worked for 1 1/2 years in a row without missing much more than a few days while house-hunting during a move if I had been dope sick every/other day and chasing dragons all of the time instead of working. I've been able to work on my art, music, my writing, t-shirt design for an artist/musician's merch shop that I run, put together an entire home musical studio (after either pawning most of my gear, or losing the rest in an eviction) and furnished the rest of a gigantic basement as a whole.... If I was using, none of this happens. All of the money goes to the habit too...

[@cinsationalcinema1776]

High 5

[@hearliestheglobe8423]

Mark seemed like an awesome dude. He was like the cool friend that we never had but somehow still felt like we knew. RIP Mark

[@lewasil]

Dude was an outright criminal. At least in the earlier years. I think had he not started singing, he would have been in prison. His voice was like no other! Xoxoxo

[@lynnehuff7059]

I've never heard of him. Haven't seen the whole thing. Sad that he is dead.

[@rjadamz9117]

I fell sick just listening to that, but some of the best highs came after enduring the most merciless lows. Smh.

[@msaxon4274]

We get high to escape. Then we get high to escape the sick. Dont start, please, please dont ever start

[@mayjailerxx]

I won’t. I won’t ever touch hard stuff because of testimonials like this!

[@markschuler1511]

​@@mayjailerxx be careful...most of us had the same "I won't use the hard stuff" rule. But if you're around it long enough, eventually you'll be in a F-it state of mind and you'll break that rule. Remember; if you go to the barber enough times, eventually you'll get your hair cut. 😉

[@Matyldzix]

I was at the rehab from heroin and methadone, it was so painful that I has thoughths about hanging myself on the shower. Please you all don't even start with this shit!!!

[@Vor_Tex_Sun]

His book about his life, is so amazingly put together. With the e-book and Mark Narrating all the way. What a voice he had and man the Trees were such a great band

[@jordimateubartroli951]

I said before and I say it again: Mark's songs saved my life, it helped me go through very dark times. He was no longer with us but, as a true artist, he achieved to be right there with me, and that's why I can write this now. I wish I could have told him. I miss him.

[@jcdova29]

The landscape has changed and heroin is a thing of the past with fentanyl replacing it. Here in Vegas like in most places people are dying at an alarming rate. I chased the dragon for 10 years until the town was dry of heroin. I was forced to do fentanyl and after a week I checked myself into a detox facility and been clean ever since. Fentanyl scared me. I had zero control of it and the physical side effects were a house of horrors and came quick. Prayers to those suffering with this deadly addiction.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@magickmarck]

I agree. Anything pleasant about it is OVER. Fent is trash and the w/d come after like two uses.

[@MichaelFincher-wi9zi]

Yeh....it sucks

[@WhiteWolf--]

Same, I got clean in late 2016 when the Fent craze was hitting it's stride and damn glad I did. Those lofty days of scoring actual dope are long gone. Forever

[@JoshuaRoberts-kq9cs]

I also have been there,done that.At sixty seven years of age the addiction to the needle is as consuming as the drugs one uses.Now thirty years clean and alot of hard work life has balanced out.

[@jdessell]

Being a former professional musician I've lost many friends to heroin. I've never tried it because I knew I'd like it. In this fentanyl world we live in today I don't understand how anyone does it, knowing every shot could be their last.

[@67marlins]

I never knew much about Mark or his career, but I still appreciate you posting this, no matter how uncomfortable it is.

[@williamdixon-gk2sk]

"The worst withdrawal is always felt on the cold concrete of a jailhouse floor." -Me.

[@ToddDavis-p3u]

@williamdixon-gk2sk...That's one hell of a poetic truth. That's one of the best lines I've ever read...

[@williamdixon-gk2sk]

@@ToddDavis-p3u thanks man, it's a lyric from a song I wrote.

[@kevinmcdowell9074]

Aint that the truth

[@williamdixon-gk2sk]

After doing it half a dozen times I actually think behind bars is the easiest place to get clean because you just accept your fate and focus on eating soups and Playing Pinochle.

[@kevinmcdowell9074]

Where I'm from, when I went in (15 years ago) I had to detox off methadone. They didnt give you anything to help. So I went from 100mg/day at a clinic, to nothing. Took 90 days + to start to feel normal. Never again.

[@greypilgrim6157]

I am shaking. There is no way you can understand the horror this man went through unless you've been there yourself. Its true you would never wish it upon even the worst person alive.

[@WhatwouldRoddyPiperdo]

Listening to this I got flashbacks to 30 years ago I was homeless from 13-25 in london and a forgotten life just came flooding back thankfully im at peace with it

[@Amh10780]

Even then, the difference between an addicted rock star's worst day and an addict on the street is night and day. R.i.p. Mark

[@adamturner1563]

Best book I've ever had the pleasure of. Plus lots of layne and mark adventures that make it even more interesting and amazing. ❤

[@jasonthompson1980]

Name of book please

[@rosalthasevener1997]

​@@jasonthompson1980 Mark's book is "Sing Backwards and Weep"...an amazing but tough read

[@derekpotts2549]

@@jasonthompson1980”Sing Backwards and Weep”

[@YogsenForfoth]

After 12 years of agonizing heroin and cocaine addiction, I was able to get myself clean 5 years ago and I’ve never looked back. Rest in Peace, Mark. I hope your stories help keep future generations from going down this awful path like we did. ❤

[@rabbitss11]

Sadly I know these feelings so well and have endured them on multiple occasions, every time swearing this one will be the last, one of them will be!

[@brianb115]

this is one of the most depressing books ive ever read

[@williamhurrelbrink3324]

Never has anyone gotten so close to describing the feeling of opiate withdrawal. Before a doctor flagrantly scratches out a pain prescription, the patient should hear this and be explained this is why you only take when absolutely necessary. Never unless.

[@rca6576]

It's the patients responsibility to work with their doctor if they find they are taking more than prescribed.

[@stacyward4309]

I think you may have a week or 10 days at most of taking opiates before addiction sets in.

[@rca6576]

@@stacyward4309 Tolerance and addiction are not the same thing.

[@stacyward4309]

@@rca6576 Well I have been on opiates for over 12 years for scoliosis and my tolerance is sky high but I am also addicted to them. I just don't see any way around it with my level of pain.

[@Danielallanz]

It wouldn't work..straight people don't have any idea about withdrawal..they think its just "like flu"..its only when you understand that description is a 4 bit resolution of what it's actually like that you understand...and unfortunately you have to live it to know how disgusting withdrawal feels along with all your nurochemcal responses working against you...we are talking about the very same responses that get you to open your curtains in the morning..when that's not there and your sick,tired and worried where you next bit of gear is coming from you would probably chose a quick death to get out of it...

[@TheMingBallard]

This is heart wrenching. Jesus, please befriend and bless the addicts who are suffering.

[@jasondonato5515]

As soon as the story started my chest tensed up… even after 4 years clean i can feel every word in my soul… 4 years clean and sober!

[@mattgohlke8216]

Last time I got high was 3/28/11.... been on that wretched Suboxone ever since, partly because of back injuries. Next week I'm finally getting surgery to hopefully fix my spine. Surgeon told me I have to stop taking Suboxone 4 weeks before surgery and I have to take Oxys instead. I was extremely nervous to agree to this plan. First few days were bad but the oxy provided some cushion. I am getting absolutely zero buzz from the oxy which was a relief. The boxer withdrawls have subsided a good deal. Surgery is Tuesday. More than anything I have ever wanted, I want this to be my ticket out. My fingers are crossed that my maturation and nightmare past experiences will help me see this through and be drug free by hunting season. Wish me luck.

[@koulouria]

How are you feeling now? I pray that your recovery has been whole and that you are living life to the fullest.

[@Flint-Dibble-the-Don]

When you're running with the devil, eventually you get dragged through hell.

[@hughiedavies6069]

I've spent 35 years in and occasionally out of addiction, it's a lonely difficult life, and without help almost impossible to escape from, I related to his story, thanks for posting it.

[@leemackay888]

I listened to his book and actually felt dopesick lol wow, the suffering we put ourselves through is stunning man.

[@YettiManChannel84]

I've had pretty similar experiences as this particular story goes. Being dope sick, while travelling long distances and running out of heroin/opiates is such a terrible feeling. There's not much else that's as bad or worse than kicking dope cold turkey while having to deal with the public/people in general. You just wanna pull your hair off and literally die (at least I did!!!). I respect Mark for going through the fire and coming out strong and better than ever. I relate to so many things Mark said and went through. I would've loved to have met him! I would've vibed with him I bet. It sucks he passed away and in such a brutal and unforgiving way. Read Mark's book "Devil in a Coma" for that dark and disturbing story. Corona virus can go to hell!!

[@jarettmeyer4929]

Yup, being out in public dope sick sucks. A few months back I had to get two teeth pulled and hadn’t had a shot of H in about 20hrs and was hurting bad. When I went to leave they had me sign an ipad for payment and the lady was holding it up for me. My hands were shaking so bad she just stared at me and kept asking if I was okay or should she get an ambulance there. I just said no I’m fine, just had a lot of coffee. lol. As I’m sweating bullets, shaking like a wet dog, sneezing, eyes watering. Obviously sick.

[@joshuawayneyork]

I can relate one million percent, I've been a heroin addict for 25 years and probably spent half of that in withdrawal. I gave up trying to get clean and have been on methadone for 10 years, best decision I've ever made in my life.

[@bryanfrombuffalo7685]

Being on 120 mg of methadone isn't sobriety

[@chrissyillbeurmirror4621]

​@bryanfrombuffalo7685 he didn't say that did he? He accepted the help of methadone so that a normal life could be lived.....the alternative is much worse..dont be a d^%%k

[@michelledoyle1969]

It's a medication that he takes daily from a pharmacy.Why knock this person down.Being on a stable dose daily is sobriety it may not be to you but it is to us!!

[@jasonthompson1980]

​@@bryanfrombuffalo7685 I had this conversation yesterday if methadone HELPS that person not use illegal drugs and get back to a " normal" life then who is anyone to say otherwise !.

[@Ch69ad]

​@bryanfrombuffalo7685 for some people, stability is the best option.

[@pablocaddeo2697]

I remember reading this in “Sing backwards and weep” but hearing this being narrated by his voice made my interiors crumple. I love you Mark, and i will always love your music, even if you describe experiences that i never lived and will never live, your lyrics seem to perfectly describe and understand me ad nobody could ever do in the 22 years of my life. You will always be missed, i will try to keep up your memory between the younger generation, and i will always hear your voice in my head You will live forever in my heart, in grieving scream that tries to come out of my body in anyway it can Legend, may the devil and demons make it peaceful for you in your personal heaven❤

[@steve-0493]

Longest ive went was 4 days...4 days of fever dreams,aching, no energy,uncomfortable,no options,no money, nothing...ur mind takes u places thats just horrifying...and it wont even let u escape

[@bernarddoherty2303]

I only ever went one day into a second day but I would just barely be above dope sick most of the time

[@steve-0493]

@@bernarddoherty2303 I hear ya..thnx for sharing!!no point of lying, just tell it like it is lol..no need to paint with rainbows,cause it sucks and sure as hell ain't pretty or fun!!yh I had no choice, couldn't do anything about so BARELY got any sleep,body wouldn't let me,so I was so exhausted!!hungry,but couldn't eat lol,lost appetites as soon as I'd try so have to force myself to munch on something!!hate living the cycle and wanna break free,but deciding how!!🤷‍♂️😑✌️🥃

[@bernarddoherty2303]

I did methadone. Just a slow slow taper

[@astralbeast8177]

Try mushrooms man, seriously. You can grow them yourself and I would be extremely surprised if you could continue doing H after a good couple trips

[@astralbeast8177]

Also it’s very legal and easy to get psilocybin mushroom spores

[@JJones-cl4dm]

When i was an addict i wouldn't dare leave town unless i knew for a fact i had enough dope to make it . Forget it

[@Ch69ad]

I am guessing he had enough methadone for the tour, but was abusing that too.

[@JJones-cl4dm]

@Ch69ad probably. Thats what I wouldve done too

[@cvgodd1432]

Same here and I always have a back up to the back up lol. I just hate those unplanned withdrawals were everyone is just like “you were fine yesterday!”

[@kerrymandanny8135]

The worst part of the sickness for me was always that restless leg syndrome it's hard to even describe but it's the type of pain and discomfort that can drive you insane literally... going through it I would silently pray to have my legs and arms chopped off for relief..every 2 minutes getting into a new position and feeling relief for about 10 seconds only for it to start again.. tossing and turning begging for a moments respite that you know wont come unless you get a fix...

[@tankebrott7563]

YES! That was always the worst for me too. It could drive me insane! I remember hitting my self all over my body just to make it stop. But it doesn't. Only time or a fix will make it go away. And, another thing most people don't know, is how time seems to STOP, 1 minute feels like hours. It's literally HELL.

[@kerrymandanny8135]

@@tankebrott7563 it's so bad I could always handle the nausea and the other physical stuff but that shit brought me so close to ending things at times. It was always what prevented me from getting through it. I'd be ok during the day I'd survive but as soon as I would get into bed that shit would start. The slow time also plays havoc on my mental state. No matter what I did time would just slowly go by like you said minutes felt like hours and mentally it would just drain me. Dope sick was the worst thing I've ever went through in terms of an illness.

[@bruja_bri]

He was such an amazing storyteller

[@grungeisdead8998]

Yeah I could listen to him talk about his experiences for hours he’s very interesting to listen to

[@Man-From-Another-Place]

I know; he really painted a picture there. I'll get the book.

[@punkgrl7991]

Mark was such an amazing artist. He had many talents besides his beautiful voice. He was also a great songwriter and a storyteller. As an addict myself, I could empathize with his pain. May he rest in peace now.

[@andrewhazenberg3398]

I am so grateful that I somehow steered clear of getting into hard drugs . I did however develop a major alcohol addiction that went on for many years and caused me a lot of personal and legal problems. I am so happy to be over 20 months sober now . One fucking day at a time . 🙏❤

[@BrianYates-ue8hf]

I know how you feel bro I've been there I did dope for 12 yrs but now I've been clean for 15 yrs and bands like the Trees and AIC have gotten me thru some seriously dark times Thx so much ✌️🧐🤘

[@jkrenz77]

Been there too. I’m from the EC, where China was the norm. On the WC, brown was it. The journeys and treks we take unfortunately to get right-all too familiar. This makes me sweat. I don’t think the psychosomatic effects ever go away. I empathize with this excerpt, all too well. To those still out there- I wish to you all-the miracle of finding a new way of life. Crazy enough, it does exist.

[@kongvinter33]

Ive been hocked on Tramadol for 6 years. Im on withdrawal day nr 2 as I write this. My doctor is on vocation, comes back tomorrow, thats about time enough before withdrawals get really bad. Cant even imagine what Heroin withdrawals feel like.

[@MonaJ888]

Omg, tramadol , I been clean off of Tramadol since May 29,2021. It took 2 whole weeks for all the symptoms to go away. The physical withdrawal that sets in & then the mental part. It was pure hell. I been popping different pills since the 90s & I never expected sickness the way I did with the trains. I started popping as a teenager & I just made 45 on 3/29. My brain had to rewire itself, I was going through bad depression & anxiety to the point I had to seek mental help. Prayers go out to u. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 fr.

[@texaspete7748]

Stay strong! Just get through a day at a time and in less than 2 weeks you get your life back

[@kongvinter33]

@@MonaJ888exactly, Ive done a lot of drugs, but never had withdrawals like Tramadol (havent tried H) its the mental part that I struggle with the most

[@kongvinter33]

@@texaspete7748problem is that I have an injury that I cannot operate. so for the time Im gonna have to take some sort of med to be able to just walk. Tramadol, after trying a bunch of different shit, turned out to be the most effective.

[@daver4874]

​@@MonaJ888 I was just about to comment something similar. Unfortunately I'm all too familiar with the withdrawal symptoms of various different types of opiates and opioids and surprisingly fully detoxing off of Tramadol was the longest detox I've ever personally experienced. I know that there are longer ones out there but I very VERY nearly took my self out when by day 5 I still wasn't feeling even the slightest bit better. I had detoxed from straight heroin God knows how many times before. Usually by day 3 I can feel things ever so slightly getting better and by day 5 I'm actually starting to feel human again. I couldn't believe considering how relatively weak Tramadol is that it took me 9 fucking days before I stopped shitting myself in between bouts of vomiting. And a full two weeks before I got my first 15 or so minute nap finally. Before that when I realized that I wasn't getting any better I was about 90% certain that somehow that particular flavor of opiate had somehow permanently fucked off my opiate receptors and that I would be stuck in a perpetual withdrawal for the rest of my life, which if that truly were the case wouldn't be all that much longer. I apologize if I'm triggering anyone but those of you who have experienced withdrawal can understand I'm sure. If you concluded that you were somehow stuck in opiate withdrawal for the rest of your life and there was literally nothing that medical science could do for you, what would you do?

[@guntherbeckman1257]

Being in recovery for a number of years, this hits heavy. The black bile vomit so goddamn bitter, desperate for a shot just to get well enough to cop more or to shoplift. RIP Mark 🙏🏻

[@maluno1]

What is the black vomit? Blood?

[@guntherbeckman1257]

​@maluno1 when your stomach is so empty it pure bile..there was blood occasionally. Full on heroin withdrawal is fucking torture, I wouldn't wish it on any man. Be safe my friend

[@davejamie5667]

wow what a ganster, i used to he an addict and ive never had a hit 2 big that i needed 4 rigs, 1 was enough to ruin my life enough, thankfully im recovered now and have a beautiful family to thank now i have a son lifes good

[@roadieryanontherun]

So… as a former H addict with 9 years clean… this comments section helped me keep my recovery tonight. Thank you recovery family ❤

[@Survivalguy]

I know the desperation. Alcohol can do the same. I was so sick one time I stood outside the liquor store and found the first person that would listen and told them my mother had just died and I needed to get drunk. This woman gave me 20 bucks with a sad look on her face. I got my bottle and chugged it. Another time I was so sick and malnourished I called an ambulance. I could not stop vomiting and ceasing. The hospital did not see to know what to do. I was in Waiamea HI Big I. They gave me IV fluids and some Aadvin and sent me out the door. Across the street is a Foodland store that sells vodka and I some how got a bottle, I also remember my IV site start bleeding like a faucet and me freaking out and running to the public restroom where I sucked the vodka down. Thank God I finally woke up. 4 years sober!

[@jackstevens585]

I can’t relate! I know the pain of alcohol withdrawal. It very had seizures and hallucinations. It got to the point I’d drink mouthwash when liquor stores weren’t open. Scary times. He I am 19 years later, sober and happy to be alive. I love and support you Stay well, stay beautiful

[@michelestack6474]

Holy shit I don't miss those days at effing all. Almost 9 years clean . It's a hard road that I wish on no one . Much luv from Long Island New York

[@jonhampton6502]

I went on a snowboard trip up to Québec, I couldn’t bring anything with me and withdrawls started as soon as we crossed the boarder. Nothing worse than withdrawling on top of mount tremblant in negative 20 degree weather trying to pretend everything was cool. All I could do was drink myself in oblivion.

[@ruination775]

❤

[@travismccloskey9733]

Man, I'm 10 years clean and the thought of drinking while dope sick still makes my stomach cramp up.

[@jeffwood3764]

oufff. Tremblant is a beautiful hill. Too bad you didn't enjoy it. East end of Montreal would've been the place to stop before heading up into the hills. Hope you're better.

[@Kojivy]

EVERYTHING was cool... I mean Everything was CaCaCaCOLD

[@joegusset5902]

Damn man Withdrawals in bed are bad enough that sounds awful

[@jakestown1952]

I was a student in Sheffield 98-01. Saw many great gigs at The Leadmill where this stemmed from, including Qotsa rated R tour, also used the National Express coach service at least twice a month between Leeds. I know where he is in this cold pissing down rain in the middle of the night, nearly 200 miles from where he needs to be. Big up the lady coach driver. ❤

[@M0RGAT0RY]

The way he's talking is different from mine. I'm 48, and almost got signed in the late 90's. Anyway, I went to jail, lived on the streets ( for years ) , and finally stopped in 2009 from having a stroke in jail. I used a few more times but fentanyl wasn't my thing. I had to learn how to walk again and relearn to talk, and eventually play guitar

[@GuyRips]

Idiot

[@BlackjackHookers-nj7qj]

As a former junky this hits way to close to home 😢 been there done that and thank every god that helped me get through my addiction because I should be dead how I’m still alive idk.

[@GeteP]

Shite state of affairs, bein so ill, brother. I know it so well. I was glad to hear you got some relief at the end ... I was expecting a next door neighbour to answer and say your guy had just been busted. A pilgrimage like that is just the absolute, utter and complete worst. Much love, sincerely. Pete 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[@nirvanabuzz69]

This audiobook is one of the best out there. Mark had such a soothing voice for such a sad and depressing story of his life.

[@cancelme4200]

Man, being on pills for years I despise the fear that starts creeping in when you realize you can’t cop. The sickness and accompanying anxiety is worse than death. What’s sad is that you’ll justify those miserable times, because eventually you will score and “feel better”, or tbh better than better. It’s such a sham. It never ends, until it ends.

[@JackDaniels-pl1mv]

Well said and true

[@GhibliFan1]

14 years clean, coming up to 10 years a professional substance misuse practitioner helping others dig deep and find their resources and strengths. I say that as, even as professionals, we can't show you the way... we can only hold the torch to light up your own path. The strength is in you. It's been there all along. ❤️

[@therecordholder]

god, that feeling waking up dopesick and knowing you gotta run across the city to get to the spot to wait, god I still remember that feeling, clean about 5 months now

[@JAMESGANG-f5u]

This is one of the best (most accurate) accounts that I’ve heard. I remember puking up that solid black liquid. I’ve always wondered WTH that was. As I listened I was emotionally invested. Like when he’s knocking on the dealers door and hears the small dog start barking I said aloud “Plesse be home, Dear Lord Please” haha.... UGH.

[@kylepressonsk8]

I’m a year clean from fentanyl as of yesterday and I feel like I NEED to hear stories like this so I can remind myself that I NEVER “HAVE” to feel the torture of dope sickness if I chose to stay clean. Like most of us addicts, my brain likes to only think back to that “warm” happy feeling opiates gave me and ignore the 95% of that was ACTUAL hell. The pain of dope sickness is something I wouldn’t wish on anybody. You don’t stay in opiate addiction for the high, you stay at the desperation of not being ill. Death would seem a better option while suffering that pain but now I’ll never have to feel that again if I continue the way I have.

[@snake-oz8nu]

Have you stayed sober

[@1965maio]

Every word hurts like stab wounds and brings back distant yet painful memories 😢 RIP Mark 💜

[@thomasbrandt8265]

The worst is when your on probation or parole and your walking down The street to meet your dealer and a nosey Cop who knows you and knows you have an outstanding warrant with no bail flips a u turn and before you know it you on your way to jail to kick cold turkey glad I've been sober 20 years now F that shit the Devel !

[@SOAMLE]

Anyone who knows, knows. You wouldn't wish withdrawal symptoms on your worst enemy. Powerful story from Mark. If it helps stop anyone from using, it's worth it.

[@risboturbide9396]

Still the best book I've read, along with Kerouac and Caldwell's work.

[@hangingon]

Check out Jerry Stahl, especially Permanent Midnight.

[@chellefell1331]

What is the title, if you don't mind?

[@risboturbide9396]

@@chellefell1331 "Sing Backwards And Weep", by Mark Lanegan

[@asuperstraightpureblood]

Just over 1 year free of that life, i felt so much relief when his dealer brought him inside, i lived that hell over and over for 23 years.

[@blown572hemi]

I've been on opiates since 1998 and i only ran off the rails once. I was taking 160mg of oxycontin a day. I upped that one two many time's and then hit withdrawal. I lived in my bathroom for 3 day's until my doc prescribed roxicodon. I followed the program and decided that I'd never abuse it again. It won't kill you but, you wish it would. I stay ondy quality of life train now with much less. It starts out great until it doesnt anymore. Then its a matter of feeling normal. No matter how hard you chase that dragons tail, you'll never catch it again.

[@lynnehuff7059]

Same with crack. And the old "well, I didn't really get that" Then you want more. What's with the black vomit? Is it blood?

[@YukonKornelius-ur4xw]

That brought back a visceral anxiety and dread that I haven't felt in over 2 years. So glad I don't have to do that shit anymore.

[@claymac7895]

Unless you've been through it there are no words that begin to convey what it's like. Hearing "experts" liken it to having the flu always makes my blood boil.

[@tankebrott7563]

Same here. I would gladly take the flu over being dope sick, the flu is nowhere near withdrawal.

[@Mike-O-Sullivan]

Even the memory of withdrawal hurts. The process itself is a unique brand of suffering. Mark went back to that hurt to bring us this tale. Rest easy, night porter.

[@Robyn-by6qt]

Withdrawing in the back of my parents car , coming home from xmas holidays . They drop me off finally . Im locked out of my house but knew i had a gram hidden inside. Got up onto my roof of old terrace house but promptly shat my pants before breaking window upstairs . Get inside , go to get the dope , its gone ! Stomach doing gymnastics , freaking out . I hear a noise , and a dude i know enters (he climbed through semi broken window).He had taken my dope , but amazingly came back to replace it for me! I went on a methadone programe 3 days later. That was almost 40 years ago ! Im off smack but still trapped on methadone. Probably will die on the shit !

[@thedude4794]

I had visions in my mind when you were telling that true story, That was powerful man.

[@johnnycashsnightmare]

Do NOT go down that road because there's nothing there! Save yourself, your family, and everyone else the trouble because it's not worth it! Listen to people who have been there! Don't ever do it, EVER!!!

[@sethbelanger8460]

One of the best books on what it’s like being a junkie. I’ve had many nights like this in the cold NH winter.

[@noxcorvus93]

Brilliant narration of a sad but oh too common plight. Addiction. 🙏

[@TravisBrady-wn8fr]

I found out it doesn't stop when you get clean. My brain is forever burned.

[@bobhope4949]

The choice between mundanenesses and being high as tits is an easy one lol slippery slopes

[@ChrisfromGeorgia]

Good morning Despite the subject matter, these stories are oddly comforting. Take care

[@Powderfinger308]

So sad. RIP, Mark

[@incarnateflame3462]

God i feel this 7 years off dope with a small relapse in between. 3 years now. Clean. To the top of the mountain we go.

[@justinsixx90]

Damn i dont miss that life!

[@BataraKado]

the shitting part is the worst id say constantly projectile diareia is a nightmare...

[@irishguyjg_2ndchancerecovery]

Heroin, Meth and Alcohol addicted for 22 years. I've got 13 years clean now and I'm 41, going to college to become a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor, I've got thousands of videos and fans that follow my journey, it's stories like this that remind me of how bad our journey can be. How bad and how deep our journey can go. I'm just reminded of how bad we will lie and follow that drug into the madness.!.!.!

[@mandyjuelz]

Layne, Mark, Kurt….they all had some serious balls man! I would be so afraid to go on tour over to other countries where I knew nobody and didn’t know if I was going to be able to score for months. Thank goodness things are finally different these days. Most US states finally changed their restrictions on methadone to where patients can now get a months worth of takehomes (that’s me) and even more for exceptions as long as the proper paperwork was filled out and signed off in advance. Could you imagine what it was like in the 90s to score abroad. No cell phones, no social media to potentially connect w/other to score, etc. that would be horrible.

[@Ruger44Redhawk]

Loved the Screaming Trees. Always pissed me off that Nirvana took credit for grunge music when the Screaming Tress were way ahead of them. Invisible Lantern is still one of my favorite albums and has been since I discovered it as a kid back in 1989-90. Buzz Factory was also a great album. The Screaming Trees and Alice in Chains were two of the best. And that's coming from a hardcore Thrash, Black and Death Metal fan.

[@PattMcCrotch]

This is all online somewhere. It’s from his book and it’s heartbreaking. If you were ever an addict and especially an opiate addict it really hits home. 😮😢

[@tankebrott7563]

It really does.

[@andysmith6156]

I survived suboxone detox, it is too hard to explain. Glad I'm clean today

[@booognish]

From someone that knows, Respect on that man. I gotta try to do it again at some point. I did it once but like a moron I let myself fall back into that shit after 8 months off subs, then ended up back on subs.

[@DirkDiggler-qp3vm]

Oh Snap your a legend

[@JasonBrown-dd7dj]

Shouldn't be suffering we now have Sublocade and brixadi.

[@JohnBock-nq9lr]

Suboxone withdrawal is a joke compared to methadone or even heroin withdrawal....sorry.....I've been through all 3 and buprenorphine withdrawal is a frkg cake walk compared to the real deal. .....with all due respect.

[@JasonBrown-dd7dj]

@@JohnBock-nq9lr deaths better than methadone withdrawel,still spewing months later on the plus never be overweight, dehydration might kill u.

[@jaredkeller869]

Been sober 14 months today. So much happier today then those 20 years of use :(

[@jamesstaggs4160]

Being dope sick has to be just about the worst thing anyone can experience. I've never even put a needle in me but one day when I decided to quit opiates I found out that the thing I thought was just a myth, withdrawals, happened and it's as close to hell as you can get while still breathing. After a few years of trying to kick it but giving up after there days to a week I managed ti find a way out. I'm for any adult doing whatever they like and I don't think any substance should be illegal or require a prescription but opiates are something you should steer clear of unless they're prescribed for acute pain.

[@tonyg.6406]

Mark, I'm sorry you went through that s*** man. I understand both the titillation and the self-disgust that comes with that kind of addiction. I'm glad that you're at peace now brother. Your music and your words were poetry my friend.

[@ruination775]

One of the Most Enigmatic Front men of all time. Still can't believe he's gone. No offence to Nikki Sixx, but this is the real "Heroine Diaries" from the Street. Real, and Raw..... RIP Mark. You will never be Forgotten, nor will The Screaming Trees....

[@D-Fens_1632]

I'm totally fine offending Nikki Sixx, he's been offending us for decades.

[@natanmandala]

2:34 Where can I find this kind of video effect, or what is it called or what was it recorded with? I don't know why, but it's glorious to me ○ 🌗🪞🌓 ●

[@cvgodd1432]

Been through it 20 plus times. Some not so bad and some very bad. I gave up trying the hard way. Now I use a short methadone taper dropping 5 mg a day. So much easier. I’m done suffering, I can’t take it anymore. The first week is a piece of cake, it’s the months of insomnia, anxiety and depression that gets me! Especially insomnia! If I could sleep normally I would be clean now! I just have to get good sleep or I’m a mess. After 4 or 5 months I tap out just wanting a full night of sleep and maybe a nap later in the day.

[@shilohivy4590]

While I am not an addict I did experience withdrawal from paxil. They look exactly like another pill I’m on for my thyroid(I had cancer and had it removed) and this was the pandemic days so I stupidly assumed that my dr had called in a 90 day supply(to keep people out of the pharmacy). So I put them both in the same bottle. About two weeks later I was so sick I went to the er. I thought I had food poisoning. They asked me if I smoked crack wtf. After a blood draw the ear guy said “ don’t mix up meds anymore” and he told me that this happens more than I’d think. I don’t wish this on anyone.

[@powerplantplanetuniverse5945]

I lost so many friends that were stumbling down this endless road of heartbreaking pain, suffering & it was terrible seeing that heroin was damaging their life's in the worst possible way. Just a handful of some addicts have made it,and could finally stop taking it. It's also a drag that these countries don't have programs like Ireland,Portugal & Switzerland that are giving it through medics that are helping them minimizing the dose continuously...until they can leave it in a honourable,supportable and healthy way. In this mentioned countries they are even able to work while their treatment! It's a sickness not a crime. Based on many mental & physical factors. And as we know,many artists but also unknown people suffer from it. Hope we all learn to find better ways to find a solution. The addicts of course must want it too. But prejeducing them...will make it all just worse then it already is!😢

[@GazB85]

As an 18 year methadone user and a 19 year (Not daily) H and other stuff user I fear tye day I have to pay the piper.

[@Strawman333]

Sounds worse than hell. Godspeed to addicts who are struggling with hardcore addiction.

[@giorgiocurcetti4001]

Been there, done it, got the t-shirt. I knew King's Cross very well. It became my main haunt for smack. That and Soho. 25 years of struggle. Homelessness, sold all my prized guitars, the 1966 Telecaster, the 1981 Gibson, the Washbourne acoustic, the 1962 Burns pentagonal bass, and so many more, all for a fraction of their price, in sheer desperation when the monkey needed to be fed. What a waste. In 2017 i started a family. I knew i had to quit. Children and a beautiful wife who had never touched a single drug (including nicotine and alcohol) in her life, and heroin? Naaahh, i could have never forgiven myself if i'd get them exposed, even indirectly, to the horrors of addiction and substance abuse. Do i miss it? I won't lie to you: yeah, i do sometimes, especially in moments of stress. But really, i have so much to lose now, i just can't never go back to those days. I can't never go back to the desperation and loneliness, the ducking and diving, the overdoses, the sheer, total, black-hole-like endless pain of the cluck, the scummy behaviour. I am ashamed of myself...