Say What You Mean with Fewer Words | The Dr. Cloud Show - Episode 296

In this highlight from The Dr. Cloud Show, how do you assert your truth? Fear and anxiety will make us meander and use too many words. To say what we mean, we have to use fewer words.
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[@annegrant8741]

“Find your voice, is maybe…just saying what you mean.”

[@eleanorjordan3404]

Grew up in an abusive home…wasn’t allowed a ‘no’…eVER. Not allowed boundaries…all violated. Never individuated. Then married two men who constantly pushed past whatever boundaries I DID try to assert, which in both cases, was the only reason I married either one of them. I am the 2 Tim 3 weak-willed woman…now headed for my second divorce (an abuser-first was alcoholic). I’m a high performance person, w this broken personality…compulsive over-explainer…sad apologetic. Now I know the first red flag is someone who won’t accept my ‘no’…

[@sherylbeamer7189]

Dr. Cloud, your book, Boundaries has changed my life, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART🙏🏼🌟💕👏🏻. I really appreciate these little lectures directly from you. Thank you ☺️ I am guilty of the excuses in fear of people not liking my no and your book is helping me. No IS a complete sentence. Amen.

[@tearthangel373]

My favorite Bible verse is, “Guard your heart above all else”, and If at all possible be at peace with others”

[@KJ-lb4tj]

Great, but unfortunately it's one of those verses that's overused and thrown in everywhere to the point that it almost has no actual meaning, because people use it out of context, in wrong contexts and with manipulative intentions.

[@catherineclinton911]

💯👍❤

[@darlenerego4891]

Yes, I have heard, 'no is a complete sentence'. Thanks for reminding me that Jesus said, Let your yes be yes, let your no be no.

[@acres2147]

I don't have a problem with my yes and no. My issue is being what they call a verbal processor. I have a hard time forming my thoughts before I say them.

[@ponderwoodtimes]

I have fallen into this many times, but one of the reasons for this is because I need to process things before making a decision, since I like to consider different perspectives rather than simply decide I'm right. So my favorite response is normally, "Well, I need to think about that first!" For people who respect my boundaries, that works fine. But those who don't, (like narcissists,) will still get angered by that response because they thrive on instant reactions that lead to conflict.

[@olympics1234567]

That doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being a narcissist. If someone needs to know something from you, before they can make a decision, then you could possibly be making them and other people involved, have to put their plans on hold until you make up your mind.

[@trumpeterswan4177]

I learned a lot from this because recently God has been showing me that I am defensive and tend to use a lot of words to explain unnecessarily when really I need to deal with why I am defensive and anxious with Him.

[@catherineclinton911]

So true for me, too.

[@EritreanChic]

Yes!

[@lynnemoore5658]

Aggressive conflict / a gentle answer turns away wrath

[@tearthangel373]

Mutuality, and Reciprocity and Freedom are essential for a healthy marriage

[@jordansjournal3077]

This is excellent. I often found myself using too many words. I realized this in recent years. Never had someone correlate it to Matthew 5 (let your yes be yes and no, no). But I see the connection in this context, for sure. I was framed this way because of my dad growing up. He was more or less a dictator. He would gaslight and not permit his kids to move towards autonomy without an argument, yelling, hitting etc. Took me years to move past the anxiety and being overly diplomatic. And it still comes out at times to this day.

[@Sundayschoolnetwork]

Yes, "agress" can mean "to approach," which is a moving towards, closer, near. Excellent teaching. Glad I found your channel this morning.

[@candidawojcik6356]

I struggle so much with this. It's a work in progress to get better with it. Thank you this video

[@lindahaylett2665]

Really what I need to hear. Got to make some changes in my conversations! Thank you so much, Dr Cloud.

[@tearthangel373]

My No was No but a covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist does not hear that

[@catherineclinton911]

Yes. They turn it into a nightmare.

[@santacruzskirts]

Yes, true. In no time, every word I speak to that person becomes meaningless

[@desormais22]

I’ve been told I need to find my voice and struggled with what that’ll even look like for me…think I found my concise answer lol. Simply saying what I mean could be that part of finding my voice ❤

[@margaretabuandaway6234]

Deeply grateful Dr Cloud for this divine insight about aggressive conflict. Thanks for adding layers to my critical thinking approach to problem solving and decision making. You are ahhhmazing indeed Dr Cloud! Stay Blessed and Beloved! Cheers! 😘☺️🙂

[@ehaley6838]

I make a ton of decisions to make sure I don’t hurt people and to do all I can to not make someone feel rejected (within reason - I don’t put myself in compromising situations, but I will force myself to go above and beyond even if I’m tapped out). I don’t necessarily feel like that’s a bad thing or something that needs to be “fixed”. I just think it’s important to be very picky and choosy about who is in my circle. The people I surround myself with are people I’ve decided are worthy of going above and beyond for. I’m not afraid to reject or offend pushy or demanding/entitled people if I need to.

[@crazylessons1076]

Thank you for your clear and understandable way of explaining the topic. Your discussion is very essential.

[@lbowen9432]

I appreciate your teachings Dr Henry! They resonate and help me to be more Jesus like. The audio on the video wasn’t in sync and there was background noises. Keep on keeping on!

[@conniemoravec713]

This was very helpful! Thank you

[@christyportia7707]

Thank you Dr. Cloud. I am amazed by the practical application of the word of God in daily life. I'm an anxious person, I could relate with what you said and I am going to obey the word of God. Thank you.

[@cchemmes-seeseeart3948]

Thanks for wisdom

[@matthewnorris203]

This is what I needed to hear.

[@glennavelilla156]

Excellent thank you 🙏🏻

[@ritabailey6267]

This is sooooo me! Thank you! Great teaching lesson for me.

[@jlfalottapawz1898]

This is helpful. ❤️

[@lynnemoore5658]

Thx U godly counsel

[@juliareadscottishpiperandh4861]

That quote you mentioned, is it from Carl Jung? Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life , and you will call it fate.

[@angelabrook2454]

This is good 👍

[@life.re-defined]

💥

[@Becoming2ndBirth]

This makes me feel nauseous! Something to work on

[@lynnemoore5658]

The good I want to do I mdont

[@lynnemoore5658]

Will Smith at the Grammies

[@tearthangel373]

Chronic liars come from the evil one

[@acres2147]

No one likes not being able to trust what someone says, especially if it's coming from a loved one. Sometimes people lie because of childhood trauma. It was their child- like response that helped them cope with an angry or overbearing parent, perhaps. We all have our coping mechanisms that no longer serve us well. We need compassion and mercy to let go of them.

[@tearthangel373]

@@acres2147 nevertheless, it’s unsafe to live with a compulsive liar when its financially and psychologically abusive due to sex addiction and hiding legal and financial information from their spouse. When trust has been chronically broken it needs to be restored

[@acres2147]

@@tearthangel373 I understand. Yeah, that's a rough one.

[@Cindy_istopforheartrocks]

Holy 💩!

[@GodnMe]

?

[@DrPhilGoode]

What’s that click. I haven’t heard a word of the song he is singing because of that click. I think I’m being hypnotized. 🥱💤😴

[@Cindy_istopforheartrocks]

Matthew chapters 5 through 7 ~ full of less is more principles. Yes, yes. No, no. ⚓