It Didn't Start With You, Mark Wolynn

[@robynhope8333]

I wish he addressed those of us severely abused or tortured by parents. I faced severe physical and psychological abuse on a daily basis for 17 yrs. No cases like that in his book:-( i am old now, suffering from a chronic stress disease as a result of childhood abuse. "Go home and make peace with parents" was never an option for me. I would rather eat rusty nails than connect with my parents. It just wouldnt be appropriate because they made me fight for my right to be alive. Mark, if you read this, i'm awaiting your next book about healing severe childhood abuse...thank you!

[@christinaguimond1706]

I’m sorry to hear about your incredibly challenging childhood. I would suggest looking into TRE ( Trauma Releasing Exercises), developed by trauma expert Dr. David Berceli. You can learn this from KZbin videos or his book The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process.

[@robynhope8333]

@@christinaguimond1706 thank you much for the suggestion. I had lots of therapy in my life, but will look into this.

[@sibelgunduz1539]

Probably due too much charged unpleasant emotions and blaming your parents for your current situation you are not hearing what is being said ( we all have blind spots, not a judgement)

[@yuliyacoello5391]

I am so sorry for what you have experienced.

[@loritravers-si6gi]

I have a very good friend who had an incredibly physically and emotionally abusive mother. "Mommy Dearest " seems lighter than what she went through. I know not everyone will want to hear this, but the answer is in the gospel. Forgiveness is the crux. It sets US free! We are forgiven of everything we've ever done that's against what God intended for His creation in Christ. But even if you don't believe that, forgiveness is an emotional release and the person who harmed you in unspeakable ways, was also a mess and who knows what happened to them to make them do the things that they did. The only way to get set free is by releasing forgiveness. Holding on to bitterness will destroy the person who's holding on to it.❤ My friend has found an incredible amount of freedom, release, and peace in learning forgiveness. It is a process for sure. But it has to start somewhere. ❤

[@jeng020]

3:19 “that if I just worried hard enough, I could insulate myself from what I feared most.” Been there. Doing this.

[@EmpoweredPercussion]

While his book is probably powerful, my integrative chiropractor suggested a book called "recovering the inner child" where we write with the right and left hand with questions and responses with our "wounded selves". We dug up issues at the age if 5, 12, 16, and 25. I'm excited to set these trauma bonds free to let my future unfold. Healing is a journey and it opens new doors. Darnet though, have to wait a week to get the book!

[@yuliyacoello5391]

I just want to say to everyone here: I'm so sorry you had to go through what you went through.

[@robynhope219]

I have his book and am reading it for the 2nd time. What stood out for me is this:"it's important to find a place inside ourselves where we can soften when we think of our parents, not bristle." HOW CAN I NOT BRISTLE WHEN MY PARENTS PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY TORTURED ME THE FIRST 16 YRS OF MY LIFE??? I followed your advice and displayed poster sized pics of my dead parents...it did nothing for me, not a thing. I am old now and suffer a stress related disease as I'm reading your book again. I had two sons who hate my guts and won't communicate a meaningful sentence. Their lives are a mess, too...without getting into detail. ALL MY PARENTS' DOING. I think what's missing in your book, Mark, are examples of parents who not only should, but MUST be written off...bc sometimes the trauma or parental abuses are so evil and unacceptable that it is impossible to acknowledge or deal with. My parents weren't evil, but they surely ruined my life.

[@rosasandoval2722]

I agree with you. Forgiving isn't always possible.

[@yuliyacoello5391]

I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

[@robynhope219]

@@yuliyacoello5391 thank u, yuliya

[@feefo8315]

Sons who hate your guts just like you also hated your parents guts? 🧐 there's a pattern playing out here..

[@felicelaurel887]

Hello, I am a colleague, teacher of this work and dear friend of Mark's and I couldn't help but to read this comment and offer a share. First of all, I am so very sorry for your pain. I can greatly relate, as I am the scape goat of my own Family. What I can tell you is that when we understand the affects of Inherited Family Trauma, we can begin to understand how parent's and families can do some of the horrific things they do/have done. We can understand the cause. We do not make it ok in any way! But understanding the origins can bring healing and an opening in our heart towards life. This work does not support acting as though abuse did not occur and continuing to take it. It is about understanding more of the why it happened and then giving ourselves the gift of setting boundaries, with love. Sending the pain back up the ancestral line, where it originated and letting it go from our bodies as much as possible, trying to feel some sense of peace. Bert Hellinger, the founder of Family Constellations might offer, as do I, to imagine releasing the trauma energy by breathing it out, taking space from it and feeling more free from it. Sound too simple? Experiment, give it a try. Breathe it out and back up the ancestral line. We might also offer the direction of focusing on the sentence, "and I survived." Focusing on the strength it took to endure what was handed to us and on the fact that "we made it" as an ongoing meditation can bring relief. This work offers new ways to hold the trauma by helping us understand how IFT gets passed down, played out and by offering new directions for the pain to flow out and relief to flow in. In this consideration and meditation, we might feel more free in our body and Soul. So, so much more to say as this is just a tiny fraction of the antidotes available for enduring severe abuse. The work is very multi faceted and one really needs to experience a session to understand the full effect of what it can offer. I can only hope that this comment helps in some way. Much love to you strong Soul.

[@daffertube]

Made a breakthrough watching this video. Thanks Mark! I found that a nightmare from my early childhood contained the missing link.

[@toniturner3478]

The Bible speaks of the sins of the fathers being visited on the children to subsequent generations, even from the book of Genesis; sins not just being those that we have committed but even those committed against us.

[@winnini8761]

Wow this is so eye-opening! I have been struggling with perfectionism for a long time and made a breakthrough discovery several years ago about how my obsession with perfectionism or the fear of rejection and disappointing other people is linked to my fear of abandonment. I didn’t know where this fear had come from but now I see it might be connected to the fact that both my grandparents were orphaned during the war. for my grandma, her brother took everything away from her and forced her to leave home at age eleven. She ended up moving to a different city and for five years lived in the back kitchen with other servants at her supposedly rich uncle’s house. My grandpa was orphaned at seven and ended up living with an American pastor for several years and learned English. But the pastor had to leave to return to his country and couldn’t bring my grandpa with him, so my grandpa experienced almost another abandonment. He lived on the street for some time and eventually found an apprenticeship at a mechanic shop. The owner later took my grandfather in as a son and my grandpa changed his family name to honor the owner’s kindness, and he adopted a new name. No one in the family knows what his name used to be. My grandparents are both wonderful people and they have led a very fulfilling life :) and they love their grandkids a lot!

[@CarlosRodriguez-ej9hd]

I have been reading your book " It didnt start with you", and it is amazing book. All in all, I agree with Mark Wolynn because thanks to him my asthma went away. I spoke with my mother who I never knew, and told her that I love her very much. I feel much better now. I thing everything and everyone is connected

[@glo9547]

What caused your healing ? Recognizing and Talking about it to someone ? I'm curious as to what he says we must do .

[@rosasandoval2722]

How did you find your mother?

[@callmeahshuh]

This definitely just changed my insight on how I see life currently and makes so much sense on my past life traumas ect. I brought his book and I’m only 2 chapters in and I’m flabbergasted. Wow. This needs to be taught in a bigger way.

[@skoundrel87]

9909009099090999999⁹99⁹

[@rosasandoval2722]

"Biological inheritance may be a reality, but it doesn't have to be our destiny".

[@louisebotos7321]

​@@rosasandoval2722sometimes it's not even biological .......

[@rosasandoval2722]

@@louisebotos7321 Would you mind expanding your feedback, so I may better understand?

[@louisebotos7321]

@@rosasandoval2722 of course, but l can't find my original comment ? 😉

[@RishadAhmedCoaching]

This gave me goosebumps. I have been doing the same work with my clients for years now and had no idea others have discovered this. The techniques I have been teaching are more comprehensive than the ones outlined here although he has explained the work that needs to be done beautifully. Thank you for this!

[@deguonis]

Where we can learn the techniques you use? Thanks

[@jolaola1987]

Have you heard about Bert Hellinger and his Family Constellations therapy? It's about revealing any trauma in the family that family members kind of replay in act of love and loyalty towards the excluded, forgotten or severe hardship in life family members. It plays out subconsciously but when it's been brought out to the awareness, allowed to be felt and honoured the trauma is being released and healing process occurs .

[@denizbesikcioglu]

Am I the only one watching this in full concentration and interest but still thinking "gosh the resemblance with Liam Neeson"?

[@Mushroom321-]

no, 😲

[@h.f7044]

I actually thought it was him😂😂

[@verito2019]

😅😅

[@KarthigeyanKChennai]

@@Mushroom321- ⁰

[@TheNuris123]

Not at all! 🤔

[@lettygova2803]

So thankful for Mark Wolynn for writing this book and sharing his experience

[@Logan4460x]

Increíble !.. que importante es hablar sobre nuestros traumas familiares.. pero sobre todo, contarnos nuestra historia familiar. Si no sabemos el pasado de nuestra familia, este vendrá a cazarnos.

[@markartist8646]

What a great story, but if your parents are narcissists there is zero confirmation or reconciliation unless you conform to their view of you and the world. Subject yourself to subtle (family) institutional abuse. The dynamic is intergenerational and breaking it means breaking the bond with them in order to live the fullest life outside the trauma bond.

[@jolaola1987]

The key is to make peace with parents in your heart at least, respect and honour them for giving you life and then move on and claim your own life, find your purpose. Even if they were abusive there was reason for it even beyond their comprehension sometimes because subconscious rules our lives.

[@priyanair5768]

I agree

[@illmaticisrael7062]

That would mean playing the blame game, making us narcissists as well."I, Me" need to remove myself from them to be better.

[@1RNik]

@@jolaola1987 bullshit, that's a prime example of enabling an abuser. Just because most of the people that consume this rubbish are co-dependents doesn't mean everyone needs to be. You can see the failings in your parents and move on from the trauma they caused, but you aren't responsible for their actions and you certainly don't have to hug them (or stab them in the back while you do)

[@nanameta5356]

not to be better but not to feel bad about oneself from their continuous mistreatment and non acceptance unless confirming to their views of you and what you should do with your life

[@wannaspeakbyveroniqshorts]

Thank you so so so much! I'm reading your book and my eyes are opening more and more... It's a diffucilt process but extremely crucial. Your book changes my life forever. I'm grateful for your work.

[@daffertube]

20:00 what he's talking about here can reveal itself in dreams you had as a child. Perhaps a nightmare you had when you were young reflects a deep genetic tramuma.

[@cynthiajohnson2188]

Yes. I was just reflecting on a reoccurring dream about my dad. So revealing.... it all make since

[@katharinaschuldig9149]

This makes so much sense. I had nightmares of being raped and kidnapped by men when I was really young. Now as I think, my mother and brother have been raped by family members..

[@CaptainOfTheLostWaves]

I’ve been staggered by the evolutionary teachings birthed by mark in this astonishing book : looking into all over the years, including potential karmic imprints, past live entanglements and all else, this is of giant significance when dealing with our ‘ghosts’ - most of which appear to be just that when we’ve held on to notions that it all actually did start with me. Enlightening and a true visionary x

[@interwoven222]

Very insightful. This information is also extremely relevant for those who integrate "shadow work" into their spiritual routine (becoming conscious of the powerful unconscious forces at work in our psyche).

[@steve-bodysolutions]

Agreed. Know our Archetypes shadows and that's a great way to categorise it.

[@Monicah.J]

Here after watching "Another self"...definately going to get the book

[@StargazerSkyscraper]

My therapist told me to look up this guy's book so I'm watching this talk, and I'm starting to worry that they completely misunderstood (or perhaps assumed incorrectly?) where my traumatic responses stem from. I didn't inherit being sensitive to sudden noises and people sneaking up behind me genetically. I learned it as a trauma adaptation from experiences like being woken up with a broomstick, having my privacy violated repeatedly, and being snuck up on by my parents because they wanted to catch me doing something wrong and physical violence was sure to follow. I don't have an intense dread of being homeless because some ancestor of mine was once homeless. I fear it because my mother made sure I feared it, telling me about SA, drug addiction, theft, sex trafficking, etc. and would then threaten to call the cops and have me dragged out onto the street "to see how I'd do / just see what those people do to you," without her benevolent protection. When I was as young as eight or nine years old. For *any* infraction or sign of disobedience. I also fear it because it's a rational fear to have. Due to being what I am, I would be a prime target in the area where I live. I know this because people like me are often killed or SA'd for simply being who and what they are with increasing frequency where I live, and there are a lot of homeless people I've personally known and heard their stories and struggles. I've seen them suffer, and I've felt the awful powerlessness that comes with being unable to help when the shelters, charities, and food banks turn them away. Powerlessness, being afraid of being hurt or killed, fearing being forgotten, etc. are also all natural human fears to have. These are normal. Suicidal ideation and action can come about from *so* many different sources. A person being young doesn't invalidate their plummeting self-worth, their depression, their disabilities, their misery, their loneliness, etc. all of which can drive a person to think such things and consider those actions. What I did inherit is OCD. That we already know has a genetic component to it. Genetic predispositions to certain disabilities or mental illnesses doesn't mean those illnesses themselves are inherited. Having the increased *likelihood* of developing PTSD or depression does not mean you genetically inherited those disorders. The study also seems a little sus, at least the way he describes it. Offspring develop depression after having time with their mother repeatedly limited? We already know this. It's more likely due to being unable to form that parental bond because scientists keep taking the babies away from their first source of food, warmth, and protection. The woman who was scared she would hurt her baby confirmed that she'd known already about her grandmother's loss, which seems like, if it was something that was spoken about in such a limited, ominous way as is described... no wonder she was scared. Kids think all kinds of things when told stories they're not able to process and discuss in a healthy way. They kinda fill in the blanks. Case in point: My oldest sister was in a car accident that broke her femur and patella, and we helped her during her painful recovery. My next-oldest sister, having witnessed my sister's pain and trauma as a kid, was terrified of driving for years as a result, to the point of shaking and crying on the day she was supposed to take her first driving test from the terror that she, too, would get badly injured. That wasn't an inherited trait, that was environmentally-transmitted trauma from one person to another. We know that some trauma can have a genetic or long-term physiological effect on the sufferer, yes. For example, several former contestants of the Biggest Loser TV show, which is well-known for how aggressive and unhealthy that show was to its contestants, discovered after leaving the show that their bodies simply couldn't lose weight anymore and packed the weight back on very quickly, due to a long-term metabolic shift their body had made to adapt to the sudden weight loss and food scarcity. There's just too many assumptions being made here. It all seems very subjective and circumstantial, and while it's a lovely idea, I'm going to have to go with Occam's Razor here and say, "Yeah, I don't think trauma is that simple, and I don't quite yet buy that you can genetically inherit the fear of heights because your ancestor fell off a ladder, broke their whole ass, and never walked again."

[@scienceandnonduality]

Thank you for your comment! A question, did you check the film www.thewisdomoftrauma.com . I think it can give you food for thought! And feel free to enter $ 0 as a donation. Thank you!!!!

[@hiefa]

i deeply felt your comment and appreciate your honesty and transparency about your experience, and i grew up in a similar environment i would say, so what mom did is not justifiable it wasn't the best she knew she could do and i think his methods might only deepen our wounds (by our i mean people with severe trauma/negligence) and i would call my trauma tangible-real-time trauma. lastly, i feel sorry that your therapist misunderstood your situation.

[@noimitai3066]

Thanks so much for hosting this, everyone viewing please leave a comment so that algorhytmically helps reach more beings :)

[@ericburton5914]

Problem is that if your parents are narcs then they are unlikely to tell you anything or disclose any shortcomings with them or their traumas.

[@markartist8646]

This comment sort of sums it up. What a great story, but if your parents are narcissists there is zero confirmation or reconciliation unless you conform to their view of you and the world. The dynamic is intergenerational and breaking it means breaking the bond with them in order to live the fullest life outside the trauma bond.

[@hannahberhane9903]

There is a kind of healing, energy healing or light work where you can release that negative energy without talking to parents or grandparents at all.

[@meltemsirin]

@@markartist8646that’s actually only one side of the story. As someone said already it’s all about the inner work. We are not trying to change our parents, we are trying to take them as they are! And we are trying to reparent ourselves. It’s all about doing these things with love. This sounds easy but it takes sometimes years of inner work.

[@meltemsirin]

@@markartist8646and one more thing: this can be done only with an open heart and with the acceptance of the greater fate of everyone. My personal belief is that we are all here to remember one thing and that is love.

[@1RNik]

@@meltemsirin Is it right to keep doing that if and feel good about yourself if the abuser takes no accountability and continues their abuse. Like sure you can forgive yourself and move on, but what this book suggests is being codependant to your abuser and continuing the cycle of abuse that they can never be truly accountable for because of generation trauma. Its like having an sociopathic partner rape their kid while they read Marks book in the next room and jerk off. All is forgiven and maybe they can bring their partner and whatever is left of their kid to the next family constellation session and re-enact what their great great grandfathers third cousins step father did to their dog which was the obvious source of all this generation trauma.

[@jeanannewalsh7467]

Thank you for the work you are doing, Mark Wolynn. This information is desperately needed on this planet right now. Reading his book - it’s excellent.

[@jdmhalo09]

Your work is remarkable. Your book saved my life!

[@johnwerahiko6226]

Watched it again massive insights and realizations at this stage of my intergenerational healing Journey and making the connections of these feelings inherited from mother and father and seeing the same patterns repeating themselves in my life.

[@StephanieSteele-i9c]

This is so insightful and very helpful. I can relate much of it within my family and generations behind us. I cannot stop thinking about Palestine and what has been going on for decades in Gaza, and particularly in the last 12 months. The children, babies, teenagers and adults left will bear the hallmarks of such a disturbing and unrelenting trauma for many generations.

[@mazzystar9488]

Wow. The story about Sarah gave me chills. Brilliant insights.

[@soupoftheday1984]

Omg r u really the band??

[@BeaLentine]

Amazing!!!! ❤you are going to heal and change many peoples lives! Thank you so much for sharing!! ❤❤❤🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@JadoreDidee9]

This is so good! It was very insightful and informational. It makes me want to dig deep and figure out the root of my reaction to certain events. My trauma language.

[@taniamichelle306]

Interesting!!! My insight is that we inherit from our ancestors the unresolved historic trauma... it is known of but not spoken of... and therefore not healed... arohanui 😍💚💯💚😍

[@purepranasam]

I love this, thank you. I am curious to know how we can deal with inherited traumas or even know what is inherited or not, if we do not know our family history and have no way of finding out. If anyone can answer this Id be so grateful.

[@mauijaystar]

Iʻm pretty sure thatʻs what his book is about. Start there.

[@marciaarchuleta6648]

Yes, you should start to do family constellations, also I would recommend to you to watch in Netflix the series Another Self,l after you watch this series you will understand more family constellations and with this you can find out what has happened in the life of your previous generations.

[@JorgeAlvarez-1111]

Find a certified facilitator in Family Constellations or Systemic Therapy near you. Best

[@CapitalK66]

Amazing. I can’t put his book down!

[@margaretmomparler4315]

I use astrology, hypnotherapy with my clients; this therapy expands my thinking. Although in hypnotherapy/astrology we already know about past lives/ancestors influence on our lives today! So this is another way of saying something that is known by many. therapists. Role playing is a great therapy, too. He may have been helped by astrology/hypnotherapy.

[@milica.075]

how/ when did you knew what you want to become? Was is one moment or did you alwaysknew it

[@shannonanissa]

This man, this knowledge, are AMAZING. I would love to meet him one day! Fascinating! ⚡️⚡️⚡️ Thank you for sharing your love and light!

[@1RNik]

Its 350$/hr for a session. Save your money.

[@dalilaelmansouri7734]

I followed the method and it’s just wonderful, it changes the way I will see my future partners now,because when you finish a relationship you keep asking yourself why him? Why you choose him? Maybe this is the answer.

[@danieladasilvabhy]

Your work has changed my life. Thank you

[@TheFamilyImprint]

fascinating talk, received so much from the information shared here.

[@johnwerahiko6226]

I healed me and now as i honour myself it conflicts with my parents now because they are acting from a place of trauma and i no longer fit into their model of the world though i do take what i feel is good but i no longer fit into their world anymore and it can be sad cuase that world was all i new those bonds created in trauma was all i knew it hasnt been easy to leave that world but ive done it

[@allpointstoone4346]

Great talk!, what does a person do if they can not get the information from previous generations? How to heal and not go on with the cycle of suffering?

[@JeffFinley]

It's not always necessary to know the story about what happened. You eventually have to feel your way through the triggers and body responses with love and compassion.

[@louisebotos7321]

you will......try Family Constellations

[@bestill.4216]

Byron Katie's work is also very good at breaking down family trauma and false thinking! She has helped me a lot to process thought that we take on but are not true! But we must be willing to let go of the story we built! That is the key!

[@reg8297]

I remember seeing a therapist who believed in her work I told her I'm dealings for 50 years with life long consequences of my parent abusing me den onto a man who did same and he brainwashed my kids against me the therapist in the session had me repeat I abused them which never happened how insane is that I'd never go to some one like that ever again bad enough trying to process it n get over it

[@bestill.4216]

@@reg8297 Is English not your 1st language?

[@1RNik]

@@bestill.4216 It doesn't need to be, they know Byron Katie is a hack and hopefully their therapist didn't get them killed. mollystrongheart.blogspot.com/2020/11/the-dangerousness-of-byron-katie-and.html?m=1

[@richoneplanet7561]

Wow this is fascinating - will take some additional thought

[@bestill.4216]

This is why I enjoy A Course in Miracles! It states that a miracle is merely a change of mind! It teaches that ALL HEALING IS MENTAL AT THE CORE! "Seek NOT to change the "world" (effect), instead seek to change your mind (cause) ABOUT the "world""!

[@peacelovejoy8786]

YES!!! ❤

[@julesbonasera8669]

The thing about this is, that a lot of these fears are not totally irrational. Fear of dying, fear of causing harm to someone else, fear of wasting our lives, etc. these are all valid fears. Should we walk about all day thinking about them 24/7? No. Of course not. But to dismiss them by saying, this fear isn't your fear because it came from someone else is also not the answer. Because at the end of the day these things can also happen to the recipient of the passed on dna trauma.

[@ivoenglund]

Thank you, this is powerful.

[@dreamevenbigger]

Absolutely mindblowing!! and those exercises were super insightful, this explains a lot

[@gangasharma4850]

Beautiful and Touching.. Love from India, Ganga

[@arsanima777]

Thank You!! 🙏♥

[@guernica69]

This insightful man is onto something.

[@1RNik]

He is consumed in his own ego.

[@marisaausili475]

Hola! Bueno... su libro llegó a mis manos por casualidad. Deseo.con toda mi alma poder resolver mis traumas( físicos y psicológicos). Espero encontrarlo de la mano con usted. Si lo logro se lo haré saber. Saludos, un gusto conocerlo. Desde Argentina❤

[@mamunurrashid5652]

The guy is 'right'......Good presentation.....! Excellent talk...

[@ElectraWeaver]

"they inherited the trauma response, but did not inherit the trauma directly" whoa. "Take the mice from their mothers and they can trace the effects for three generations" damn. Take the mice away for three hours for two weeks and the get depressed or worse later in life and if suppressed then passed to female offspring! holy shit we got some work to do on ourselves peeps....

[@Be1More]

helpful

[@Be1More]

hard to believe its 3 generations but in my life i can see how that could have worked on me

[@1RNik]

@@Be1More We're not mice, and Mark has some serious lack of empathy. That said you should watch Frasier episode ""Are You Being Served?" Season 4, Episode 22

[@crisferreira2228]

Queria tanto ter esse conteúdo em minha lingua portugues do Brasil

[@lightofall]

What about children who were abused or neglected by their families severely and maybe if it's not safe to be in contact with their parents?

[@mercedespernas]

Mediums can also figure out for you if you need ancestral healing. They can tell you if you are repeating history don't lock it or ignore it because it can haunt you for years.

[@eldonscott9]

This is insightful, in deed. It's an invaluable approach and isn't going to be for everyone, obviously. I mean, I hope that's obvious! The spiritual by-passing comments are unfortunate and lack understanding which points to fear. Fearfully working with the relative self is part of the path whether one can see that or not. If this is something that is in affect for you, allow it to inform and free you. All paths are leading us home.

[@stormyweathertoday]

What about non-dramatic events? Does it work the opposite way too? Enormous moments of well-being, success, personal triumph also have epigenetic markers that pass onto further generations?

[@aresmars2003]

It seems confusing - to know which "patterns" are passed via epigenetic versus learning from watching our family behavior. Language certainly is something learned socially. The story at @26:00 obviously wasn't epigenetic because the grandmother caused the death of the grandfather after her children were born. Unless there's a wild claim of epigenetic transfer after birth.

[@joanalune]

aresmars2003 maybe she was pregnant with her child when she caused the death of the grandpa

[@tiffanyhenry6684]

I'm reading this book and the concept isn't new! Honestly the bible speaks of trauma that will impact generations! In the introduction of his book as he was describing his relationship with his mother. He spoke of his birth, forceps used on him during his birth, and how the forceps caused scarring to his head. He spoke of how his mother was afraid or scared to hold him! I wholeheartedly believe she probably was afraid to hold him closely due to the damage caused by the use of the forceps NOT because she didn't love him! I just thought she was traumatized!! Also he mentioned the Holocaust survivors and their children and I also believe that, one because the Bible speaks on trauma impacting their children and their children's children!! I was listening for how the trauma os slavery, the gym crow system AS well as systemic racism impacted my ancestors as well as my grandfather (who played baseball in the Negro Leagues) but also how that impacted his children (one being my mother) and her siblings! I feel a lot of us are suffering due to this inherited trauma that we are still fighting!

[@the1financialengineer]

Yes, how do we know the stories from ancestors and family members, if we don't know the traumas they went through. What is the way of digging

[@tiffanyhenry6684]

Sometimes our parents will share their traumas with us! I know my mother did!!! My Grandfather shared his trauma of being in the Negro Leagues, wanting a career in baseball ⚾️ and what they endured during that time! I'm sure I don't know everything but he shared a Lotta stories!! A lot of times families have secrets!

[@alexe1160]

I have never been raped or forced to have sexual intercourse, but people have assumed this about me who didn’t even know me. I used to be deathly afraid when my parents would go out of town cause my teenage siblings would invite boys and alcohol into our home. I would lock myself in my parents bedroom for fear that someone would get drunk and rape me. Made no sense to me. My mom says she has cousins who got in with some young men who took them out of town and raped them. My first sexual experience was with a guy who shamed me for my virginity years prior (I literally went home and balled my eyes out like he had done the deed after the shaming). He basically told me he’d soon take care of that. It felt very defiling and shameful that he would have the nerve to speak to me like that. Years later he found me depressed and drunk at a party and I didn’t care about what happened to me. I had a very traumatic school year and was out drinking when I should’ve been home resting. I was conscious enough of my decision and regretted the experience and wanted it to be over from the beginning. I wasn’t sure if I could call this rape, I know it was less than optimal. Incidentally, my mom had given me new undergarments that were quite sexy and I wore them that night not knowing what I was going to experience that night. As an adult I told my mom about this and she had no compassion for my pain and shame about this, but rather shamed me more about how stupid I was for my decision and reminded me how perfect she was and how she had waited for her wedding night, etc. Recently, this experience was triggered when my current spouse was messing around (in his frustration for things he wasn’t getting in the time he desired them) and he pinned my upper body to the bed in a very aggressive forceful way and described his actions as what he called “passion”. Apparently, he didn’t want to engage with me in a romantic/loving way as we had in the past. He had never treated me like this and I was quite frightened. I almost hurt him, my response was so strong. Even now thinking about it makes me nervous and tears are coming as I write. I have always had this strange thing with my ego where I have this sense of naughtiness and shame, especially, when I am trying to do the right things. It’s really weird!!

[@andreac647]

I'm sorry you are had to go through all this, it sounds really tough.

[@jeanjacqueslundi3502]

Life is unfair. Its unfair because you are not given a map and your good intentions dont matter. But the good part is that its predictable. You may not know if this is genrational or a past life or whatever.....but whatever it is its in your energy field. Change your energy around these tópics CONSCIOUSLY and you dont necessarilly need to know the original root. By changing your energy around the tópics to One of your deliberate choosing you Will "heal" the problem. Just please dont beat yourself up. Treat yourself with compassion..take care.

[@LarryJRayak]

Some pretty wild claims are being made for epigenetics which is still at a very experimental stage. The mouse study (which is pretty horrifific) has been challenged by some bioscientists as making unwarranted claims. There is no known mechanism whereby specific memories like a car crash can be encoded into genomes. It's an area where we have to move very cautiously.

[@jeanjacqueslundi3502]

Well the flipside is we wait for science to give us a the answers and we are stuck. Just as it hás failed to provide solurions too most REALLY important human problems. Sciences job is to catch up to reality....and insight into reality that comes to humans is...well the reality. Science-centric thinking people need to reconnect with why we even invented science. Otherwise they stand in the way of perfectly helpful information and wanting to Cast it out because its not scientifically veriable.

[@mattrankin2587]

Thanks.

[@mattrankin2587]

Thanks.

[@mattrankin2587]

Thanks.

[@1RNik]

@@jeanjacqueslundi3502 We could just agree that Marks "research" is psuedoscience and unsubstantiated slop.

[@steve-bodysolutions]

Some parents may not want to go there with us. Does his book offer a strategy on this?

[@FanOfDemocracy]

Yes it does. There are many methods that you could use from the book, for instance, it describes methods to heal from a situation when your parent is deceased. There are also things you could say to your parents that you are comfortable with that could possibly open the door very gradually to a closer relationship. I highly recommend the book.

[@sylviamartin3445]

I can support you?

[@1RNik]

@@FanOfDemocracy Its still advocating a placebo, it doesn't solve the problem just makes you accept the abuser as a victim which encourages co-dependency and further abuse in the future from others. Seeing an abuser as accountable for their actions regardless of their family history and being vigilant of co-dependent bonds is a better solution.

[@twenty2672]

Absolutely brilliant!

[@annegodfrey2351]

this is great also Gabor mate

[@MegaMiraBai]

Is there any explanation about Autism by Mark Wolynn? And who should work with it? Child or mother?

[@g0runse0]

A Big Thanks to Bert Hellinger !!!

[@janetwilliams5765]

I think things are muddled in this video, I am open to these ideas but children can be traumatised unconsciously by hearing the stories eg grandmothers fire which killed baby becomes anxious young mother, also young woman’s grandfather dies in car crash, she hears about it as a child, may well repress it becomes self harmer etc. No dispute there, the new thing is that the genes change in utero I think that there are a few too many confounding variables here. I am open to new ideas but the science needs firming up a notch.

[@arthurswj2328]

Janet Williams agreed. This guy is a twat.

[@An123Observer]

But who told the mice about their ancestor's trauma?

[@cynthiazaleski311]

This was extremely interesting

[@alisonblack5466]

I like this idea but how could the Grandmother pass on her "I don't deserve to live" feelings to her granddaughter who cut herself - Bless her- biologically if the grandfather died in the accident? Sarah's Mother/father wasn't born yet or if they were born were conceived without trauma. I can understand it continuing through environmental exposure.

[@deanna_abby]

The grandmother passed the trauma to her child through environment. That child's genes changed in response to that trauma. That child went on to have Sara and passed it on that way. Also if the family didn't work through it then that also created the environment for her. So it was passed on genetically and environmentally.

[@diegorojas3958]

all these stupid things make only sense if you want to sell a book to some people without any rational thinking

[@boogaria554]

As a child, I cried into my mom's clothes too.

[@lillacoix9808]

❤❤❤

[@RainforestMind]

I actually did the same thing.

[@katharinaschuldig9149]

Same here!!

[@robinhensley6228]

Is the legacy of goodness also transmitted?

[@tiffanyhenry6684]

I'd say absolutely!!

[@1RNik]

@@tiffanyhenry6684 Hitler thought killing jews was good. Guessing he got that from some ancestor who cooked and ate cats during the dark ages.

[@whitewizard888]

In malaysia, we call this trauma saka baka. It even forms how we look...

[@amandajs971]

This is incredible 👏.

[@josephkovalcik8266]

If I understand the theory correctly, that trauma can be embedded in our genes. May I then assume that the theory works in the opposite direction, where positive activity and occurrences will also be embedded in our genes?

[@העבודהכמסעפנימייעלטלוזיואשר]

What if we can't trace the source?

[@renalilab1373]

Thank You ! 🙏🏻❤🌷

[@susanagallego7166]

your work is very interesting....what can I do for me and my daughter about violence and fear ?

[@Paperbutton9]

Is this kinda implying hyper accelerated evolution? so if this is how it works it would be theoretically feasible to influence certain types of skills or behaviors ? as you said faster reflexs and reaction times....

[@bobbidell3591]

Amen!

[@susanagallego7166]

as I choose a husband, her father that hurted absolutely our lifes

[@kathleenbeegan-hanly2149]

Amazing..... I live in Ireland and completed my first Family Constellation weekend. Do you come to Europe?

[@AxelSituation]

This man is much much better than Brandon Bays. Brandon never wrote her own scripts and really doesn't know how trauma affects the body. Mark Wolynn is the real McCoy. I recommend his book to anyone.

[@ramiromartinez5705]

I just got the book ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@joe-y4o5y]

The House of the Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne?

[@yeldaq]

You need to try to have at least 2 baby mices one right before the experiment and the other right after the trauma experiment and comparing those 2 traumatic reactions.. i strongly believe it is not genetic but socially about action repetetition and because all social familia babies learn from parent by looking how they react.

[@cguarany]

What if we don't know anything about the life of our ancestors?

[@reg8297]

How do you fix your life if your dealing with life long consequences of a parent's abuse

[@RubyChacon]

My son's father was adopted. Does he carry the trauma of his adopted parents or biological?

[@joanalune]

Ruby Chacon biological, because of genes

[@jaacosta83]

He carries both and will need to honor both sets of parents. Biological and adopted.

[@queensgtmslim]

nature and nurture

[@avimaymon1634]

excellent

[@jarcauco]

Great talk. Eventually, nobody is destined to feel unlovable or unworthy because of trauma, if we let awareness be in what's arising and we welcome it. It can be such an intense work, after decades of confusion. Knowing there's no one to blame is a big something. Knowing it didn't start in oneself, another big one. Thank you 🙏🏻🍀 Quite a long comment below, not focused on our traumas. Yet, kind of an off-topic, or a spin-off, if you will. Please, ignore if you find it uninteresting. I'd like to add that those studies are done on mice, not because they just breed faster, but mainly because we think of them as our commodities. We are conditioned to perceive animals as resources we can exploit for our own benefit. We would never tolerate such status (chattel property, commodity) for an individual labelled as human. Indeed, a Hollywood fear is that aliens will come here and act upon us in the same way we act upon those with whom we share this planet. We humans are animals who are conditioned to perceive and legally consider the individuals from other species mainly as expendable objects to serve our purposes. But we know they are no objects, but subjects. Each one of them is also a somebody, not a something. We obviously know they can feel their own spectrum of emotions. That's what makes a sentient being relevant. However, we dismiss it because we are biased towards seeing them as "less than", unworthy of having their most fundamental interests into consideration (to be alive, to keep body integrity, not to be coerced). We assign value to things depending on how useful they are to our interests, including conscious individuals. That's why even human slavery had been socially and legally accepted for so long. Currently, and by default, the mainstream theory in regards the use of animals is known as Animal Welfare. It's just a theory, to which even most "animal rights" defenders subscribe to. Because of it, we assume there's nothing wrong in exploiting them, and discuss the way we should treat them, the conditions we should change and implement (economically driven), maybe giving them bigger cages (less illness, better production), or some other affordable treats and eco labels to calm down our consciousnesses. Slaves can't have rights, but conditions of exploitation. Animal Rights theory is totally opposed, based on the following statement: sentient beings (those who experience existence subjectively, thanks to a nervous system, which includes us), have an intrinsic value, because each individual has an inherent interest in his own life. Animal Rights proposes only one right for any sentient being, the right to not be considered property, to not be a slave. What would this right mean for any of them? Legal liberation from human oppression. And for us? What about us!! First, respecting them. Why do we still unconsciously believe that animals belong to us? Because we are conditioned to perceive them as such. We are indoctrinated into speciesim, into the idea that animals exist for our use and enjoyment, rather than for our own reasons. And so, we behave as if the species (or sex, or skin color, or any other label apart from sentient) was somehow relevant for a fundamental ethical consideration. And it didn't start with us. The civilization we can see is based on that belief, and it is quite explicit. Have a look around: we breed and kill animals in order to transform them into sandwiches and purses. We hunt and confine them in zoos and aquariums. We buy and sell them: we commodify them. We force them to compete, or to be gatekeepers, or to pull weights. We use them daily for our enjoyment and benefit in thousands of ways, all of them coming from the same belief, a biased perception. Some of us even dare to say we love them while eating or wearing them! All of us do, because we are indoctrinated into perceiving them as things. Should we stop exploiting conscious beings at all? Indeed, we don't need to use them at all to be healthy and thrive. The least we can do for animals is to be vegan, to stop seeing them as things, and to start seeing them as individuals who deserve, at least, to not be enslaved. It's just a change of paradigm. Not that hard. Nothing that any of us haven't done before. In case you resonate with this topic, may I suggest you to watch a short documentary about Animal Rights? - kzbin.info/www/bejne/h4Gbo3abqp50mK8 - (24 min, non-graphic) Thank you 🙏🏻🍀

[@Kasia-bk4ob]

What if parents were abusive, I have cancer but it terrifies me though of calling my parents..

[@העבודהכמסעפנימייעלטלוזיואשר]

Once we find the source, what then?

[@jale.shirin]

Whats solution? How can I change my daughters life? I dont want her life would be like mine.

[@latashaallston5368]

I’m curious how this works with like slavery and racism? Even if one doesn’t believe it exists now, history has shown it has existed! So I am super curious of the trauma inherited and the impact of somatic disorders that we see in folks!

[@jeanjacqueslundi3502]

Its passed down. Everything is. Everything is karmic. We affect everything affects us.

[@1RNik]

@@jeanjacqueslundi3502 We choose our destiny, the failings of black people today isn't because of the slavery their ancestors endured, though if they keep reminding themselves of it, its definitely a contributing factor. Its systemic because of systems prevalent today that can be changed at the grassroots. They alone decide their potential.

[@richardwatson6146]

I'm slightly confused by the example he gave of Sarah and her grandmother; how could she have inherited her grandmothers epigenetics when presumably her mother had already been born? How could it be passed on to Sarah but not her mother?

[@deetor5551]

Richard Watson The eggs of the daughter in the womb are the dna of the Grandchild so the Grandchild is the starting point or fingerprint of the Mothers Mother. The personality of children are alot like a Grandmothers if you have noticed.

[@marilynagnew7025]

Richard Wat

[@iamhydro17]

Sarah's grandmother lost a baby. Sarah's mom must've been born after that.

[@soupoftheday1984]

Think about your own history. Your life as an egg actually started in your mother's developing ovary, before she was born; you were wrapped in your mother's fetal body as it developed within your grandmother. After the two of you left Grandma's womb, you enjoyed the protection of your mother's prepubescent ovary. - source: Greg Hampikian

[@soupoftheday1984]

I had that same question!

[@deli10000]

Does anyone know his religion ?

[@peacelovejoy8786]

This is pretty much what ACIM teaches... A Course in Miracles has changed my whole perception about the world 🌎

[@stilesroberts9613]

I was sexually abused from the age of 8 to 18, when I came out about the abuse at 18, my bio mum told me that he (now my.mums ex husband not my bio) also raped her and when she put her foot down about it the time frame matched up with then he started to abuse me. I hate my mum. She was raped by a man and let that man around her kids after they divorced, what did you expect, she had me at 17 pregnant at 16, kids shouldn't have kids as one of those kids please if you are a kid get an abortion. You can't raise a child whilst also getting over your own trauma. Now as an adult my mum has told me that her mum was an alcoholic and drug addict that her own mother sold her to let men rape her so she could buy drugs. I've got crown court against my childhood abuser in June this year, this wouldnt of happened to me of my mum wasn't such a wetwipe a door mat if she didn't let men walk over her. Then I wouldn't be here. If when a man raped her she walked away he wouldn't of raped me too.

[@stilesroberts9613]

It's stopping the cycle. Ill never have kids. That's how I'm stopping it. I'm only 20 and as much as there are parts of my life i do love, and I love the people I have chosen to have around me. My childhood is not one I would wish upon anyone. Even my worst enemy. If a 16 year old told me they were pregnant now and tries to convince me they could look after it, I would tell them they are immature, you are a child you can't even legally drink never mind raise a kid. All you will do is ruin that kids childhood whilst you figure out your own childhood. Because you are one. From the child of a child. Kids shouldn't have kids.

[@RainforestMind]

@@stilesroberts9613 aw Stiles I see you and hear so much pain from your life - no one should ever experience what you had. I wish you find peace, love and much needed healing in your life.

[@jeanjacqueslundi3502]

Im so sorry Stiles. Life is not fair. No one deserves what you went through. BECAUSE life isnt fair....what ive learned is the only possible fairness is the kindness and healing we choose for ourselves and others as a result of what happened. Literally if we dont heal....we are fucked. Please do everything you can to heal. As unfair as life is... Its possible to create happiness. Dont ever give up on your happiness. Big hug!

[@mimiiliopoulou4008]

very interesting

[@carterhaughbooks4333]

If only people could learn to be kind to each other, there wouldn't need to be sadists who decide their career will be all about torturing and killing small furry creatures that never did them any harm - all just to try to figure out the nasty aspects of human psychology. Oh, wait, but then the fact that the human species produces quite a few people who want to do that to the helpless, to "find stuff out", proves that people in general are not going to turn out able to learn to be kind. After all, why would only "trauma" re-program genes? The love of inflicting cruelty is just as likely to have a powerful, lasting effect. My guess is that every scientist who tortures and kills animals as a career, is descended from an executioner or Inquisitor. Have a creep for a father or grandfather? Do the world a favor and don't pass those genes on to another generation.

[@StargazerSkyscraper]

This illustrates the nasty implications of this theory that I wasn't sure how to put into words. It reeks.