secretly filmed at the gym 🏋🏽‍♀️ r/AITA

in today's AITA deep dive, we explore being filmed at the gym, whether you need to warn your boyfriend if you're rich, and if it's okay to fine your husband - still not on board with this one! grab a cuppa, let's go fishing 🎣🍑✨
wanna be a member? grab a backstage pass! www.youtube.co...
HEY LET'S BE INTERNET FRIENDS:
Instagram @sherbetlemon007
Twitter @sherbetlemon007
TikTok @sherbetlemon007
Twitch @shaabaandjamie
Our site: shaabaandjamie . c o m
Jamie's channel: ‪@Jammidodger‬
Our gaming channel: ‪@shaabaandjamie‬
Be kind and have a great day (:

[@michellecoleman5577]

story 2: We just glossed over the fact that OP said "I was an addict when I was a TEENAGER". It's one thing to reach your limit of support for an adult who knows precisely what they're getting themselves into, it's completely another to disown a teenager when, at that point, the parents/family still hold a large amount of the responsibility of teaching and care and support. I am so disgusted by the audacity of them demanding an apology from OP. If literally anybody else had shown up randomly to the cafe and yelled senselessly at the cashier when she's not even remotely involved, they'd 100% call the police, Karen. Being a egg donor does not make you special in this case.

[@terrifiedofhumans1129]

This happened to a younger sister of mine, parents and other siblings disowned her, I wasn't a part of this as I'd already left home and the town they lived. She went on to be a seller when she stopped using and in 6 months made enough to pay the deposit on a house my youngest brothers name (she was 16), she moved out of the family home properly then, her stuff was still there and was living at her girlfriends family home. She is now doing well, engaged, is an apprentice electrician, has her own house this month, she also blacksmiths in her free time. I'm proud of her.

[@katies3733]

Agreed. I got really uncomfortable about the mention of teenager in the story. Because my friends who were abandoned when they were teenagers also have the mentality of it's not my parents fault and they blame themselves because "I was a lot to deal with". And it's like but it was your parents legal responsibility to at least pay for your care until you're 18. Like they are adults and you were a child. So while yes addiction is a tough thing to support someone through especially if the person isn't in a place to hear it, you still can't abandon children yet because they are children and they are legally under your care. And it's possible they disowned her on her 18th. But that sentence threw up a lot of warning bells for me.

[@emofurryboyfriendasmr]

yeah op makes it sounds like they were a minor they may have been doing things wrong but definitely should not have been kicked out poor thing WAS abandoned

[@trinitybernhardt9944]

I agree with these comments. My family has a history of addiction and we have had to draw varying degrees of boundaries, even to the point of extremely LC. Never for a teenager though! It is heartbreaking and extremely difficult helping a teenager who is suffering from addiction, but that doesn't absolve you of your responsibility. How you meet that responsibility may look different in different situations, but they need your support, and they deserve it.

[@claritybadb]

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 yesssss!!!!!!

[@anniesearle6181]

That lady from the first story has no idea who could be deliberately not on social media for various serious reasons, such as domestic abuse. She also has no idea who is an adult or not. Everyone has the right to privacy, if anything the gym staff are arses for not already getting her to stop

[@JDMimeTHEFIRST]

I’m surprised gyms don’t kick people out for this. I guess they are worried about losing members? But I’d think more people leave to avoid being filmed than the ones who film

[@vogelvrouw]

Filming their own exercises in the gym when others are on the background in the shot is already annoying (but fine if done respectfully) But doing this in a group setting and Filming exclusively others is insanely disrespectful

[@s.a.4358]

I agree about the gym staff not doing their job when it is so clear the person is filming constantly, disrupting the classes and making people uncomfortable.

[@KiboSanti]

I've had to *beg* in-laws to stop posting photos and videos including me on Facebook... It's so scary to be perceived online outside of your control

[@Amethystar]

Not to mention that if this person is monetized on Instagram, they are using the people at the gym to make money, which is all sorts of nope! (I also don't know how monetization works on Instagram, but my point remains.) Also, people don't look at their best when they're sweating up a storm and trying to keep up with the instructor. No matter the angle, it's not flattering and will only make people self-conscious. I'm guessing some others might be too out of breath to complain in the moment. I'd definitely be going to management about this.

[@smarie3874]

First story. In university I had a stalker. Turns out he was totally harmless. In fact, I never noticed him watching me. One day, he was brave enough to chat with me and it’s clear he knows everywhere I’ve lived, most of my friends and most of my classes for the past 3 YEARS. The idea of someone posting a video online that would potentially allow someone to predict where/when I would be is terrifying. NTA

[@sofiessoulx]

This is terrifying!! I hope ur okay now, even tho he didnt have bad intentions just know ur valid!!

[@hexonyou]

for the woman with the cafe who is a former addict, I know that we do not have all the background or insight on the situation in the past but.... I just have to say that rarely do people fall into becoming an addict out of nowhere. Usually something leads you to seek drugs, alcohol, etc... as a cope or escape. And given the way that the family reacted when they knew where OP was and wouldn't respect her boundaries... well, whatever the beginning of that story is, I don't think OP is the asshole for not wanting to be forced to return to a family dynamic that likely wouldn't be healthy to begin with. NTA, and good luck to her and her husband and kids.

[@shhimreading906]

yes i thought the exact same thing

[@heather9130]

This was my immediate thought as well. What has to go wrong in the home life for a TEEN to become an addict? My dad was a teenage addict because of all kinds of family issues. He got clean when I was a kid, and his mom had always been there for him. OP is right to protect her peace. Her family's reaction really shows who they are. They probably just want access to the grandkids.

[@elaineb7065]

This with bells on & a cherry on top!!! Addiction is a coping mechanism; I've known more than a few addicts, both current & former, mother included. She drank due to a case of SIDS in her first child (who was 4 months old at the time). And every other addict & former addict I've known also has some trauma.

[@KierstenMB]

I agree that the OP with the "rich" dad is NTA but I do think she created a little bit of drama by not warning her partner about her dads house. If her dad was a lighthouse keeper and they had to get a boat to visit him her partner would deserves a heads up. If her dad was a Ringmaster and his caravan was parked next to the big top her partner would deserve a heads up. Its not about money its about the unfamiliarity of the situation. When you meet someone's parents its natural to want to make a good impression and no one makes a good impression when they're distracted. Whether that's because you're distracted because an elephant just walked by, or you're worried about the tided coming in, or you're sitting in a SEVEN FIGURE HOUSE. The poor guy is taking in a lot of new information while trying to also make a connection and good impression with her dad. That's a lot. I hope the money isn't an issue for him because it clearly isn't for her. And I hope they can work through it because it does sounds like he was upset about being surprised rather than the money itself. I think his questions were about finding out what other surprises there might be rather than getting at the specifics of how much money they have. Great script for a Romcom! Hope they make it work.

[@elliest55]

My question in this story is how did the boyfriend not have any clues that OP came from a wealthy background. Like, you can figure this kind of thing out within a few weeks of meeting someone, when they mention what schools they went to, holidays/travel, hobbies, childhood memories... right? So my hunch is that - other than not having a heads up re the visit - the boyfriend realised an imbalance in how much information they've shared in the relationship and that's what's bothering him the most? Especially if he feels he's shared significantly more about his life than OP has.

[@KierstenMB]

Yeah to be honest if I'd been in a relationship with someone for 8 months and I was only just finding out about their background I'd be questioning the relationship. Whether you're from a wealthy background, or a circus background, 8 months feels long enough for you to have opened up about your roots. I'd feel differently if she was saying things like "I didn't tell him because I wanted to be sure he loved me for me and not my proximity to money" but she's not saying that. Instead she's saying "why does he need to know" which seems like a red flag to me. Still the question she's asking is whether she's an AH for having not told her partner in advance about her dad's wealth. So focusing in on that I don't think she is. That feels like too strong language but I do think she has created some drama by not being more forthcoming. I mean how did she think he was going to react when they rocked up at her dad's seven figure house for the time. She's aware of his financial circumstances and she knows that she hasn't disclosed hers. So it's a bit odd that she's surprised by his reaction. I mean really what did she expect to happen?

[@alex_blue5802]

​@@elliest55sometimes people gain wealth as their career advances. We shouldn't assume OP grew up with rich parents.

[@icxun1035]

I think the issue is that Callum never actually communicated why he was feeling that way??

[@KiboSanti]

My partner's grandfather is very wealthy. Visiting for the first time was a bit of a shock. I'm a little wary of wealthy people, especially since I grew up lower middle class and bullied by the "rich girls" at school. Partner's grandfather is a lovely man, but is definitely "under the affluence", if you will.

[@myrrysmiasi4866]

Honestly I think the thing that probably is the real root of the problem with the boyfriend who only found out after 8 months that his girlfriend's parents are hella rich is probably that he thought they related to each other when talking about experiences and now he's having to re-frame previous conversations. Like, I remember my partner telling me early on that his mother is super into architecture and interior design and prioritized getting her dream house over food. I was shocked but took it at face value because my family is really toxic so it didn't seem impossible to me. Come to find out years later that what he meant was that his mom didn't take the kids to expensive restaurants like his lawyer father did 😂 if you want to communicate properly with people close to you, you have to be open about your background!

[@Procrastinacion_]

About the rich family, I went through a similar situation with my ex. I didn't know his family was rich, I was 20 and totally broke. We went on vacation to his hometown and he never told his parents that he was going with me, and he told me this seconds before I met them. I was incredibly uncomfortable, shamed and scared. They were super sweet! But they clearly expected something different and they were confused with my questions and manners. Normal things for rich people are not normal for poor people. There was food all day every day, hot water, A POOL, two cars, etc. I didn't know anything about this and I noticed how they saw me as a little monkey or something. Of course my ex didn't notice anything because he never cared about money... But that's exactly the thing, he never need to care for money. He didn't care about my situation but obviously his parents did. I would have greatly appreciate if he had told me before hand. It was shocking and hard for me.

[@WaruiKira]

Story 3: I can see the boyfriends side as well. I always wanna know anything about a new situation so I can set my expectations and behaviors right. So going unprepared like this into a situation that is already stressful and then is very different from what I expected, would also make me very frustrated. At the same time I think it's kinda wierd to just say "oh BTW my parents are rich". But like a short explanation: this is what you could expect and how she would describe her dad and stuff,would have been nice!

[@jeffleavitt9626]

Also honestly just feels weird that your parents being 1% wouldn't have come up in 8 months, so in that context, I can understand why it would feel like 'hiding'

[@alexf225]

Maybe it's just not something she cares about that much. From what she said, they seem to try to rise her as a pretty normal person.

[@Taewills]

@@alexf225I agree with you. I’d be seriously annoyed if I was OP. Clearly if $ was an issue she wouldn’t have dated him in the 1st place. Granted, at my age / this stage in my life, I have very little tolerance for ppl acting out from insecurities. 8 months isn’t long, I’d break it off and let him go deal with his issues. Bc no matter what she says to him, this will come up again & he will still feel inadequate.

[@jodiebutler3818]

Honestly I don’t discuss my families wealth with people. It’s not a reflection on them as people. When I talk about my family, I talk about how kind and loving they are. The amount they earn, the house live in and what they do with life isn’t mine to discuss.

[@Taewills]

@@jodiebutler3818 that sounds reasonable to me 😆- I don’t come from $ but it’s not an expectation it’s info that needs to be divulged. Bc if the S.O ever gets to meet the fam then it’ll be more about their interactions/ability to bond than anything. The Redditors are pretty odd w/their feedback.

[@rootroot6229]

I also think it's weird it didn't come up through talking about ways she grew up. I'm not rich but went to a private HS. It's an experience I talk about w ppl close to me that leads me to sharing my privileges. It seems like that might be what he thinks she is "hiding". Like maybe he's being intrusive about her background bc he's wondering if the ways he related to her are not as relatable as he thought. So, her being like "it's no big deal" doesn't reassure him that he can still relate to her. I don't think she needs to share numbers and details but at least being like "Hey sorry I didn't realize this would distabalize you. Now you know that background and I know to give you heads up". To me it seems she can't relate that being given heads up when meeting someone you want to impress who is also in a different income bracket can be stressful. And she seems more focused on doubling down that she's not "that kind of rich person" as if the stress her bf expresses is about uptightness when it might be about other subtle things like cultural clash & unconscious bias. For example, it may be super casual to ask someone about their education background without realizing that for others, its a financial/other circumstances barrier to access. So, instead it might be best to ask about their accomplishments, skills in general or hobbies to ask about what they learn/excel at in life. So, IMO this fits into it being nice to give heads up about cultural differences to a partner + family they are visiting so, accidentaly offense is reduced. And both OP and bf are missing the mark in diff ways. I also have experience with people hiding their wealth to downplay their privileges and I'd be mindful about that ! Finally, maybe the guy sucks and it activated his misogyny / fear of making less money than a woman lol With the info presented, for me, nobody's the drama ! Just miscommunication / clarifications needed !

[@bradiedean7466]

I think with rich OP, we're acting like implicit bias doesn't exist. Even if OP doesn't THINK they have assumptions or biases involving wealth, at that level of extreme wealth and privilege it's inevitable that there ARE biases OP and their parents don't realize they have

[@RenaRain]

Exactly!

[@sailorplanetmars6103]

It strikes me that, in the 3rd story, OP has a odd habit of flipping on what counts as "irrelevant" - yes her family wealth may not be directly relevant, but her lifestyle absolutely is. Her job, her income, her expenditures - assuming they're a little older, and may be going towards a long term relationship and maybe even marriage, that kind of stuff is extremely relevant. I do think suddenly going cold and doing a full financial autopsy is a weird move from the boyfriend, and he should be able to move past one admittedly pretty uncomfortable day more readily, but I can't help suspect that the reason he wanted all that information is because she was so unwilling to divulge. There are some things you should be sharing with your partner, one of which is finances, and if he's meeting with your dad and stepmother I assume he's more than just a fling. That fact that she's so fixed on determining what is and isn't "relevant" without considering his fairly clear input means I'm tending to his side more than hers here.

[@madamemelone4947]

Well what’s relevant is different to every person. Clearly it’s relevant for him and OP is totally disrespecting his point of view and won’t even try to understand his point of view - that screams entitlement and privilege to me…

[@alex_blue5802]

Rich parents doesn't necessarily mean that she is rich. She might support herself.

[@Senkhara]

Regarding the last one.... As someone who always forgets to shut cupboard and stuff like that (because I have ADHD) assuming he’ll forget to pick up ur child from school is dumb because the way brains process schedules and routines is completely different from the way they process operational information regarding things like order and tidiness. Aka, just because someone forgot their water bottle at home doesn’t mean they’ll forget to parent their child. And even if they struggled with the responsibilities of parenting, punishing them is only going to make it worse.

[@jaceevens654]

Dude same!!!!! But also like if his memory is suddenly getting worse.... shouldn't you go to the doctor? like unless op is being dramatic about it (don't want to make any assumptions on her character) but like.... seriously if its getting to the point that it's concerning ask a doctor. She sounds as if she sees having memory issues as something that can be overcome with will power.

[@zaykay5462]

My dad has ADHD (so do I) but dad is undiagnosed and didn't realise until I was diagnosed during university. He actually did forget to pick us up from school/ get dinner organised on occasion. The threat of paying someone would not have helped at all, it would have just created resentment and self-loathing. What he needed was organisational help specific to adhd (e.g. "set alarms if you are about to do something interesting and need to pick up the kids in an hour" and "instead of fighting about cupboards find a way to make them self-close"). Our brains are already hard enough to live in and we already experience so much shame for it. I would hate for my partner to add to that rather than try to help. Undiagnosed ADHD is so hard on relationships.

[@kristalpower292]

Another ADHDer here and a mum. I might rush or be late under 10mins but if you ask my kids it’s longer because everyone else is there early so are gone within a minute (thanks to time blindness and meds not lasting as long as I’d like if I want to sleep). I have never forgotten to pick them up or any important appointments. If he as gone as far as to use reminders and things he knows it’s an issue for his wife and is trying to fix it. In my house I am the door closer because I will hit my head on them but in a house where we all have it I can see how it would be frustrating. It really depends on how long his memory and things have been like this but also from experience having children does seem to make symptoms worse. It could also be stress related and in either scenario punishment isn’t going to change the behaviour. It’s more likely going to cause resentment. It feels like a problem he recognises bothers her but not something she has actively taken time to talk to him and express any concerns she has for his health. In all honesty she seems oblivious to the possibility that there could be serious health issues for him. I’d feel differently if she had talked to him before raised her concerns and he still had his head in the sand trying to fake it till he makes it “ I’m normal” denial no need to see a doctor mentality.

[@M_M_ODonnell]

@@zaykay5462 It took me years to get advice that wasn't just "do the things that would help people without ADHD, but more aggressively and with more guilt attached when they don't work." That's still the majority of the advice floating around.

[@JDMimeTHEFIRST]

Same. I think neurodivergent people actually make better parents because we understand the things we have to deal with and have more empathy. Still don’t want kids though 😅

[@Desimere]

i do feel like finding out someone came from a rich background can totally reframe how i see them. He may have falsely assumed things about her based on his assumption of her not being rich. For example, if she donated to a charity, it gives a more kind/sensitive impression if you assume she doesn't have that much herself. Also, making "brave" decisions about her life wouldn't anymore be as brave knowing that she has a safety net. But also, apart from who she is as a person, there is the interpersonal power dynamic, which will also be thrown off. Even if she never uses her power, it will still exist. It will make having an equal and balanced relationship harder. Her bf has every right to re-evaluate.

[@hildacatherine6627]

I feel there is a need to clarify a piece for story #3. There are substantial cultural differences between economic classes, particularly when you get into the 7 figure and higher bracket. Having been in a situations where I was invited to a friends party and I wasn't given the context of the social class of the other people attending I can say that it is shocking and off putting. I can see where the boyfriend would feel like a heads up would have been warranted, he wasn't just meeting the family, he was meeting family while also navigating a culturally different space than he was expecting.

[@heather9130]

For the rich parents story: Op should have warned the BF. She's not the AH for not warning him. I think she''s the AH for deflecting and invalidating his feelings. "We're not the Waltons, we're just in the 1%." Lol okay. Side note I went to a rich guy's house once. My boyfriend warned me beforehand. This was his childhood friend. My BF told me to expect a wealthy atmosphere and that his friend and the parents were humble and kind people, just with a lot of money. I really appreciated the heads up, not because I was going to dress or act differently. But it kept me from being surprised or in open awe of the mansion and gated property they lived on. Curated gardens like something out of a movie. A wall of tvs we played Guitar Hero on. OP should have given him a heads up because I can imagine how I might have felt blindsided in that situation.

[@mikna5758]

Seriously, how is the streamer/filmer from the first story not banned from the gym already? Maybe 1 official warning to stop then she gets banned if she takes as much as a selfie

[@bradiedean7466]

ONE PERCENT?!?!?! ONE PERCENT? but you're NOT RICH?????? In what world is that not rich???? BFFR

[@snowkr3580]

fr I heard that and was like "yeah OF COURSE he's surprised, who wouldn't be???". Also the audacity to put "rich" in quotation marks

[@IsraBeezy]

My thoughts exactly! I flipped my shit when I heard that! I grew up under the poverty line and managed to get a job that puts me above that, and sometimes consider myself "rich" just for that. But someone who is objectively one of the richest people in the country going "oooh but I'm not ~rich~" makes my blood boil. lol Also can't see how in 8 months of a relationship, stuff like childhood vacations, schools, universities, etc never came up? Because you would be able to infer from a lot of things that someone is rich-rich.

[@vogelvrouw]

Some rich people are super unaware of how normal people live and how rich they actually are

[@unapologeticallylizzy]

Exactly! There's well-off, there's rich and then there's RICH rich and OP's family would definitely fall into that last category. I still don't think they're the drama but it's also like... OP, please admit it, you are extremely rich.

[@longlostgf]

lmao right? super funny to be like “we’re in the bracket of rich people that many people famously have a problem with” and then be surprised that your bf is freaked out about it

[@Luxinda]

I’m guessing that I’m the only old person here since when I heard “We’re not The Waltons”, I immediately thought of the TV series and was perplexed why on earth being a member of that family would seem rich to anyone (although TBF they did have their own mountain…). 🤣🤣

[@Juju-xp9mc]

Me too!

[@only1tacy]

Me too!! Though, Earl Hamner did ok for himself. He never left his roots.

[@catherinepattersonmcelroy8336]

Same 🤣

[@unapologeticallylizzy]

I thought of Emily's family from Friends, even though they're the Walthams. Close enough, right?

[@starfishgurl1984]

So glad I wasn’t the only one who instantly thought of them too and took a second to adjust when I realized they meant the other ones 😂😂😂.

[@maranathaschraag5757]

The cafe owner - she was an addict as a teenager. Based on the fact that her family is behaving in a very toxic way (feeling entitled not only to OP's time, but also an apology after 20 years, yelling at staff, refusing to follow police commands) - i am going to say that OP was probably abused pretty severely as a kid and that treatment was the cause of her substance use. Once she cut ties (or was disowned), they were in a place where they could properly reflect and grow as a person. so glad they're not having to deal with those people any more. and calling the police was justified. family who truly love you will respect your boundaries. and the police.

[@Amethystar]

I wouldn't be surprised if she'd been the family scape goat - aside from the one decent brother - and once they "found" her again they were more keen on getting that scape goat back than their family member. I work at a grocery store and have banned lots of people. The majority of them don't come back. It's either the ones who are dealing with a mental health issue or people with an axe to grind who risk a trespassing citation, and those are the people you definitely don't want around! (Largely the latter; not all mental health issues are dangerous, but if they've been banned, they've probably been at least disruptive in some form.)

[@michellecoleman5577]

story 3: OP needs to take a step back and check themselves. Did it occur at all that maybe Caleb just needs a bit of reassureance because he's been thrown for a loop precisely because you haven't displayed overt "rich" tastes? What he has no way of knowing now, is whether you understand that being able to just drop 7 figures on a house or go on a spontaneous european vacation is not typical and he's possibly afraid that there's things you unconsciously expect that he can't live up to. Now he's feeling outclassed and possibly his ego hurt because he didn't realize what you have access to that he does not. Why is OP explaining that they don't expect extravagance from Caleb to random people on the internet and not directly to Caleb. edit: Being out of touch could make you unintentionally the a-hole because you don't recognize how your privilege looks and may hurt your partner. The road to hell is paved with good intentions and all that. This is coming from someone who could find themselves in either the privileged or less privileged situation depending on circumstances. So I know that I can sympathize but also have to take my own advice.

[@musicaficta564]

All of this! Just because she’s an unintentionally an asshole doesn’t mean she’s not an asshole. People with money tend to downplay how much money can change a life. I for example came from the kind of poverty where we HAD to garden in order to get veggies. When I first met my partners family he didn’t tell me that they lived on a golf course and owned a “for fun” car. It was jarring and I immediately felt like a fish out of water. Money can color how anyone reacts if the gap is VAST.

[@mikna5758]

Story 1: I would say it is your duty to inform the gym staff that someone is filming others without consent. Instructions might only be employed but have no higher contact or authority. Going to the gym to film others exercising is creepy as hell.

[@danielsykes7558]

3:10 this is harassment If this were a man, he should be charged legally and made to change There should be no double standard

[@johanneshalberstadt3663]

"Rich" story: If you didn't come from a rich or posh background I think you would want to be informed, sort of prepared, beforehand, because the environment and the rules within may be something you are not used to and that van be very intimidating. You mught certainly feel a sense of being judged, pitied or belittled by the richer people and even if they are nice to you, you just may feel like a fish out of water and intimidated. You might feel insecure about how to behave in that environment, where everything is expensive. You might be worried to get something dirty or destroy something that is too expensive for you to repurchase. I feel like: yes, it does make a difference because it is a reality of social segregstion.

[@johanneshalberstadt3663]

Last woman: You don't train people like dogs. You don't impose punishments. He is not a robot, that needs to be programmed to behave like what you deem "correctly"! Maybe he should fine you, each time you distolerste a little chaos? And WHY! is your first idea punishing him for "wrong" ( - in your eyes) behaviour instead of tresting him for success?

[@rebeccajesse4604]

You actually don’t even train a dog that way, best results come from rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad (to a degree). If I was the husband I would just not feel that I could rely on her at all for help and would just start pulling away or be afraid to ask. On the other hand, as someone with ADHD it used to drive my mom crazy that I wouldn’t notice and do the dishes. I wasn’t ignoring the dishes, I literally didn’t even register them. Some patients and brainstorming of solutions together would be where I start, not a fine.

[@Sarah.H5]

I agree that you're not going to get an improved outcome by charging someone, but I think this comes from a place of desperation, most likely. She feels like there's a mental tax on her for his inability to manage these tasks and she's finding a way to create balance (perhaps in a misguided application). She already has one child, another on the way. The last thing she needs is an adult child to also take care of as well. It's unlikely he's doing this on purpose (unless it's weaponised incompetence) and it's clear he needs help in some way. That's not reciprocal for a heavily pregnant woman though.

[@rebeccajesse4604]

@@Sarah.H5 yeah it can be really draining to deal with this, especially if he’s neurodivergent and she’s not (or just in a different way). Both me and my mom have ADHD and we would have full out fights over “how could you not tell/remember/do this?!” So I am glad it’s a “would I be the AH post” vs am I. She did it once and hopefully won’t keep doing it and will learn some better techniques.

[@leggyegg2890]

Rewarding him for good behaviour is just a different way for her to train him like a dog. This is a grown man and her co-parent, she shouldn’t have to be raising him too. I don’t think the fining thing is a good solution at all and they obviously have a lot to work on as a couple but I don’t really get your point. Whether it’s positive or negative reinforcement you’re still suggesting she train him, just in a way that’s more fun for him

[@honeythepup309]

If you go anywhere fancy and you live poor, like smoking inside and broken down cars on the lawn poor, then it feels like there is a hundred hidden rules like do i take off my shoes before going in all the way to what fork is for a salad.

[@Rikrobat]

As a fitness instructor, I would be asking the lady to put the phone away, and if that didn't work, I would have her removed from the class and contact the program coodinator immediately. Unless this person has been hired by the community centre I'm working at to film the class (usually for class promotion or news stuff), this is against policy and an invasion of privacy for my participants. Though I'm not working at a gym, I suspect the same rules should apply. What an infuriating situation.

[@ernapiila4347]

I work at a gym as a group fitness instructor, and I would do everything just like you described. The rights to the programme in the class are owned by someone, whether that someone is me, the gym or some outside company (especially LesMills is really aggressive about that stuff), and filming the class violates the privacy of the participants and the rights of the copyright holders.

[@Fragmented_Mask]

To add to this, because I am part of a dance studio: sometimes the instructor will film a routine before finishing to preserve it and post to socials. If they ask to film, it is never the first week (because most people are not confident right at the start of learning) and it is only allowed with consent of anyone who might be in shot. Same goes for all promotional photography and videos - we are always informed in advance if that is happening so we can opt out of being in shot or choose not to go to class that day. What she's doing is 100% not okay and that instructor is not doing her job properly.

[@Rikrobat]

@@Fragmented_Mask - That makes sense. When I used to do line dancing at a western bar, the instructors would sometimes film the whole room doing the full song of their original choreography, but everyone was given a heads-up before the filming started, allowing anyone to leave the dance floor for that round. And after that run through, no more filming was done for the rest of the night. It sounds like the instructor did tell the person to put the phone away, but it’s clearly not enough, especially if the offending participant just went next door to another class. The staff need to have this person evicted from the gym if she isn’t going to respect the rules.

[@lasphynge8001]

Lol, if it's gonna cost me 50$ each time, I'd rather pay for a lunch out or some delivery than have my spouse drive to my workplace to bring me the lunch I forgot. And at least it won't bother anyone whose job it isn't to deliver food to me. I too have ADHD and had this happen to me frequently before I switched to remote work. I get the partner's frustration, but charging your partner for forgetfulness is really petty, counterproductive, and 50$ is just a ridiculous amount for lunch. I could consider NTA if the guy asked her to bring the lunch and she refused and told him to find some other way to eat for lunch, that would be closer to a fair consequence if you really want to go that route, but... there is no indication that he even asked her for this service and now she's charging him a surprise fee?!

[@maxgarete5435]

It's not only petty but also ableist. And it's not gonna so anything except making him very frustrated and angry with himself.

[@leggyegg2890]

@@maxgarete5435 calling it ableist is a massive stretch when we don’t even know if he’s neurodivergent. I agree that it’s a goofy and rude way of going about things but she has every right to be frustrated at him for this, even IF he was neurodivergent. Something might not be your fault but it’s still your responsibility.

[@Amethystar]

​@@leggyegg2890I agree that she has the right to be frustrated, and I would probably be as well, but it doesn't sound like she's taken the time to understand what the underlying issues are. I do also agree with not jumping to "ableism" without knowing more. It seems like she's tired of helping him and is feeling more inclined to punish him. It's highly likely that charging him for each offense is only going to create more stress, which often makes forgetfulness worse. I wonder if she actually thinks charging him would be effective, or if she just wants to be compensated for her time. I'm not saying she should just take things lying down, but she needs to examine her own motives. I'm glad she's asking for advice in the regard. I honestly think that focusing on one singular task at a time would be a better place to start (aside from seeking advice from a medical professional). If you focus on just one thing, you can create a ritual around it that puts it more at the front of your mind until you don't have to think about it at much. Getting one thing down can also be a boost of confidence, no matter how small it is, and may make the thought of doing more more bearable.

[@leggyegg2890]

@@Amethystar agree with you 100%! Punishing him isn’t gonna be helpful whatsoever nand I’m sure she knows this, at least deep down. It’s not the right way to go about things but she’s obviously fed up and I can’t blame her for that. I think he needs to make the first move when it comes to remedying this since he’s the problem, but we’re only hearing her side of the story so it’s hard to judge. Leaving notes around to remind himself does make it sound like he’s trying (but maybe not enough). Defs not something that should be a dealbreaker in a relationship if they love each other and want it to work. I get the feeling they’ll sort it out but just need some outside perspective, hopefully the responses have given them both a bit of food for thought

[@mikna5758]

Story 2: OP's in-laws don't understand the severity of the situation. Do they even know everything OP shared in the post? Maybe no

[@AnnekeOosterink]

The rich girl really doesn't get how relationship dynamics work I guess? And she is completely blind to her own privilege. I'm also not entirely sure she is a reliable narrator when she says she doesn't care about money, or how her boyfriends dresses when they visit her parents. She clearly is unaware of HOW INCREDIBLY rich her family is, and that makes me suspect she might otherwise also be blind to things. Like, "Oh my family don't care about what you wear" but unsaid is that you certainly do not wear jeans. Things like that. She is used to this, and I don't know that she even recognises that her family might be judgmental because she never experienced it aimed at her.

[@ambriasaunders1869]

I feel unsafe on camera. It freaks me out. The gym should be a safe place.

[@Nyxxeonn]

This is not even remotely the most important part, but I am guessing in the last story they meant "2 yo male" when talking about their kid cause how can she have a 2 month old yet be 6 months pregnant lol. But the kid being 2 also makes it even more important that the husband starts getting more careful since the kid can get into stuff more easily.

[@joanne501]

I think the m stands for male like on reddit posts.

[@blaireshoe8738]

Yeah, especially with the comment of starting Kindergarten soon. I would expect "month" to be shortened to "mo" rather than "M" especially on this type of subreddit where "2M" would typically be read as "2 years old, male".

[@Nyxxeonn]

@blaireshoe8738 yeah, though I didn't even question the child being 2 months until the comment about being 6 months pregnant and the math didn't math 😂

[@abigailbossie2047]

I read it as when the unborn baby turns 2 months old, they can go to kindergarten. In some parts of the world they do call nursery kindergarten so I didn't even question it 😂 now I'm confused and maybe they are pregnant with a second

[@LITMasonEdits]

lady in the fourth story feels ableist. he's clearly not just "forgetful" he has some neurodivergency or mental illness. imagine charging someone with adhd who is unmedicated because of the way their brain works

[@Sarah.H5]

I had a relationship with someone with undiagnosed/unmedicated ADHD, so I kind of relate to this person who has built up so much resentment that she's considering charging him money. I have to admit that I think if they've got to this level of anger and resentment, I don't have high hopes for their relationship. It takes a long time for ADHD to get a formal diagnosis and learn how to live with it. And he's not giving his pregnant partner the support she needs now right now, sadly. I hope they figure it out before more resentment builds 😢

[@elliest55]

This reminds me so much of my parents. My dad is the "forgetful" one and, of course, being of a generation that didn't even know about neurodiversity, he's never been diagnosed (I suspect dyspraxia primarily, but possibly also ADHD, given that I also have ADHD). My mum nags him occasionally, but having been with him for 40 years she's also kinda given up and just does everything for him. It's taxing, but they don't hold any resentment at all, since my mum always says "well he's perfect in every other way - it's just the one quirk" and he never gets annoyed or defensive when she nags, he just goes ahead and fixes whatever he's forgot to do. I guess it's the kind of thing that you get over when love and mutual respect and admiration take precedence, but it can definitely put a strain on a new(er) relationship.

[@nebulan]

Forgetfulness can be the sign of something else like low on a nutrient or sleep. He should go to the doctor and they could order a bloodtest and a sleep study or a referral to a psychiatrist to evaluate for spicy brain. There's probably a treatment.

[@abigailbossie2047]

Yes, seeking professional advice and treatment if necessary. Can also be early signs of neurocognitive disorders. Hard to say why without seeking a professional

[@sarahbayla]

@@abigailbossie2047agree with these comments. Cognitive issues are also often part of long covid. Many more people are now struggling with them 😢

[@Amethystar]

It can also be really hard to even contact a medical professional, especially for someone who's neurodivergent. Mental health professionals are also super expensive unless you have really good insurance, which can also play a factor in whether someone reaches out for help. I've been wanting to find a counselor for a while, but aside from the cost, so many of them are booked up and the thought of having to make a bunch of phone calls only to be told no feels really daunting. What OP has tried clearly isn't getting the results SHE wants, but charging someone money for being forgetful is really petty. Asking for gas money after driving around is different than demanding compensation. Since her "methods" have been ineffective, I agree that she should be offering to help him find the help HE needs, which may be different than what she thinks he needs.

[@jennifers5560]

For the last one, OP is the drama, how about working with the husband to come up with habits or ways to help him remember to do things.

[@somethinunameit637]

I had the same issue when my spouse and I started dating. He spent months reminding me to do X or Y, then would reward me with affection if I remembered to do it by myself. Now I am the one reminding him of the same things sometimes lol

[@maxgarete5435]

Sounded very much like ADHD to me. He should get an assessment. If it's not ADHD and he's not too stressed/overwhelmed with life in general, then OP can go ahead and punish him for all the forgetting, but honestly, my bet would be ADHD. Nobody likes to constantly feel like a total idiot so I guess if m there was a way to not constantly forgetting things he would do it.

[@laura-sandy1492]

@@somethinunameit637 this technique of positive reinforcement is certainly better than punishing someone by fining them for forgetting to do something. I just think this creates a power imbalance and it’s extremely unhealthy and entitled.

[@susanharris6959]

As someone recently diagnosed with Adult Onset ADHD, she needs to be supportive of him, not punishing him. I'm worried about their child. Communication is the basis of any relationship. Sit down, talk it out and figure out a supportive way to move forward.

[@melodylienert3963]

I know this isn't really related to this vid, but happy pride month everyone!!

[@RaphaPortoRP]

Everyone who films someone in the gym, without their consent, should be forced to watch 2 hours of Joey Swoll's videos.

[@unapologeticallylizzy]

_Yes._

[@OxyMauron]

Rich girl story: Small ESH. BF is handling things poorly, but OP is unaware of her own privilege. A good conversation can start once she acknowledges it.

[@alex_blue5802]

Yes I think minor ESH as well. I mostly agree with OP that it's not relevant, but I think a heads up was warranted before they went to lunch and saw the expensive house. I imagine he dressed casually and then felt out of place.

[@dishevelleddev]

Okay, the last story gives me the biggest 'he needs a diagnosis' vibes I've ever had. There's forgetful, but if he is as bad as OP describes, hubby really should look into getting professional help. That's not normal; it might not be "his fault" (i.e. he really is trying but just can't remember) but it is not normal. This is also coming from an ADHDer who has always driven crazy anyone they've lived with. I spent so, so long trying so, so hard and just. could. not. fix it.

[@MayaMickaMicak]

I have ADHD and there's one trick I do to stop myself from forgetting (some) stuff. Whenever I go out I have to pack my bag with necessities and other stuff I carry with me regularly like keys, phone, money, lip balm, other makeup, tissues etc, and I had a really hard time remembering everything, so I made a song for it. I'm not a native English speaker but the song is just me, in a singing voice with a simple melody, saying: "Phoneee, moneeey keeeys...". I sing this every time I pack my bag before going out, and over the years I've added a couple more things/objects into the song, but it's still short. It genuinely helped me a lot, and I almost completely stopped forgetting to take important things with me when I go out, now it happens maybe once in 1-2 years, which is a big deal to me. The only problem is that I can only make those songs for stuff I carry regularly, like every day or almost every day, it doesn't work for new stuff that you only need to remember a few times or rarely (for example an umbrella) because it takes time for me to remember the song and any stuff I add to it, and to become a routine for me, so if I switch or change things in the song all the time-I won't be able to remember it and it's useless. So unfortunately I still forget stuff that I don't carry regularly, but at least I don't forget the important stuff like my phone or keys. I doubt OP from the story will see this, but I know there are probably some people with ADHD in the comments, so I wanted to share this tip with them because it really helped me, and hopefully it will help someone else as well. Oh and btw, my two main struggles with ADHD (currently) are executive disfunction and time blindness aka being late all the time, so if anyone has any advice or tricks they use that helped them, please share them, I really don't know what to do anymore lol. Time blindness has caused me to be late 99.9% of the time my entire life no matter how hard and how desperately I try to fix it, and it caused really really big issues for me in my personal and professional/student life, it even caused me to be abused by others. And executive disfunction made me unable to continue my life in any way, especially the last couple of years, I can't even do the stuff I used to love, and my muscles have literally atrophied from me not leaving my bed. Unfortunately in my country there aren't any meds for ADHD, they are illegal here (I'm from Europe) , and I haven't met a single psychiatrist, and I've been to over 30 of them, who even know that women can have ADHD, not just men. You have to travel to another country to even be able to get diagnosed, because of course we don't have that here. You can tell I really like my country lol. Anyways if anyone is able to give some advice on any of the issues I mentioned here, even how to find therapy and meds (some online resources perhaps?) I would really appreciate it. I hope that someone will find my advice useful as well because it made some things a lot easier for me. Sorry for the long comment and bad grammar, and I hope you're having a great day! 🍀

[@lauraelliott6909]

I have a phrase that helps me remember to do everything when getting ready for bed, so I don't keep getting up for things I forgot. "Pee, teeth, ice, ice, phone, water, allegra." The "ice, ice" is grabbing ice packs (I go to bed with them for chronic pain) and setting the AC for sleep.

[@ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023]

Similar: I pat my skirt pockets and recite "Phone, earbuds, home keys, car keys" when I leave the house and *before* I close the door. The rest of my stuff is in my handbag, which I only empty for deep cleaning every couple of months. My outdoor crutches and walker live in my car, so I cannot leave home without them.

[@leggyegg2890]

Really feel for you, I’m in the exact same boat. The KZbin channel HowToADHD has a lot of helpful videos, defs check her out if you haven’t yet!

[@shortstuffchats]

The last one triggered my adhd feelings HARD, I can't "just" do things that others can. Also for $50 he could have bought his lunch...

[@annabrown3337]

Last one, I used to get mad at my hubby being forgetful and unprepared for events; at 45 he was diagnosed with FND and has memory issues because of it- show compassion. Also, no with the money.

[@kristalpower292]

30:12 as a mum with ADHD. I really hate when people say you forget your keys or forgot where you put them so you’re going to forget to pick up your child from somewhere. I’ve Lost my keys, forgotten where I’ve put things but I have never ever forgotten to collect my child from anywhere. I have called the after school centre my kids go to crying because I couldn’t find my keys and walking would mean I would get there after closing. They offered to drop my kid off so I could calm down. OP feels like the drama she didn’t have to drop of his food or anything. He would either buy something or go without. If it’s not ND brain struggles then it could be stress related to work or stress that comes with having young children. It seems petty to charge him unless your 1000% know he’s doing it on purpose or has the capacity to be more considerate with the right motivation.

[@nodoubtmisa]

I'm just glad my gym doesnt allow filming at all xD think its generally different in my country with the filming tho because of our laws, but still glad the gym explicitly forbids it, I'm not there to be recorded while I sweat my ass off lol

[@fluuufffffy1514]

Oh, we're not billionaires, we're only 100,000aires... 🎩💰

[@snake-qm7jz]

good morning and happy pride momma Shabba!! ♥️♥️♥️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[@ellagraves3398]

3rd story: I’ve been dating my bf for 8 months and the fact that my family is rich has definitely come up. I will say upper income families get defensive about their wealth and love to underplay it even to people within the family. For quite a while I thought I was a normal upper middle class family until my bubble was burst by the people around me informing me that European vacation homes were not the norm. So I low key think Op was trying to hide it. Im not even 1% and it comes up often so I have no idea how she could go 8 months without it coming up. Also, if you have a bunch of extra money lying around because you’re from wealth why not share it with your partner? I receive limited financial support from my family but they offer to like book trips for us or comp expensive meals. Coming from someone in a similar situation to Op Im incredibly suspicious that it’s never come up in conversation in 8 months.

[@5210smile]

Forgetful husband should probably look into an adhd diagnosis

[@gus8824]

I had a middle-class, nuclear family upbringing and my partner (of 1 year) comes from a more working class background with more siblings and a more complicated family dynamic-- this was quite apparent from casual conversations on early dates, mentioning things about family and childhood etc. It hasn't been an issue but it has shaped our perspectives on many things and is good to be aware of. I'm very surprised that after 8 months the boyfriend wouldn't know she grew up well-off, makes me think she has been avoiding the subject because on some level she is self-conscious about the disparity.

[@AstronomicalJelly]

the last story annoys me so much, as someone who is VERY forgetful i assure you that it's frustrating to us more than you. i will never understand shaming or punishing people for forgetting because it's literally something they can't control also the comparison with forgetting to shut cupboards and forgetting to pick up a child is dumb, they're not on the same level. wether the husband has some brain funkiness going on or not, the wife should be more considerate and understanding

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

In the same way that "we're not the Walton's" is a red flag statement her clarification that "if I wanted a 50k ring I'd buy it myself" is too.. like that's"buy a house" money where I live! I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who even contemplates that level of extravagance.. OP isn't the asshole per se... But it's possible they are completely unaware of just HOW out of touch they are with the average person

[@ThatGreenNugget]

Not even 30 seconds in and already been hit with your singing voice and asmr voice???❤

[@shhimreading906]

i feel like with the second story the very fact the family is accusing OP of "holding a grudge" proves they dont see anything wrong with what they did/how hurtful what they did truly was. it's not just "a grudge" to not want to see the family who disowned you AS A TEENAGER. Like I'm assuming OP was between 16-18 when they were disowned as they said they were a teen, and that feels so different to me than deciding you're not gonna associate with like a 25 year old addict. Like OP was still kind of a kid in a way, still so in need of support and care from their family. and now the family is showing up demanding OP basically stop being petty and just get over the fact they were "quick to disown" OP as a teenager (quick implying they didn't have the patience to help OP in the first place imo). Like, yes, OP was most certainly hard to deal with, but also don't have children if you're not going to deal with them. OP was absolutely not in the wrong for getting the police involved. if that was any other customer screaming at your relative you wouldn't hold back from calling the police on them. OP's family lost the luxury of being treated with respect when they stopped treating OP with respect and disowned them.

[@annarichter484]

Though rich girl wasn't a drama for not telling that she is rich, I would not have done so either as you never know if people love you for you or for your money. But she is a huge ah for not recognising how rich she actually is. Re forgetful boyfriend, I would urge the family to inquire if there is an underlying reason why he is forgetting. Concentration problems can be caused by a variety of serious illnesses (thyroid problems, brain tumour, severe lack of Vit D) or neurodevelopmental conditions like ADHD and/or autism. In neither case would boyfriend act deliberately and would benefit from understanding what is going on.

[@alex_blue5802]

Why does that make her the drama?

[@annarichter484]

@@alex_blue5802 Poverty is a real thing. I am privileged to never have faced hunger or homelessness but I am what society would call at risk as I have no savings, no property etc. People who don't even recognise their own privilege can easily fall into the trap that people who are poor are so because they don't work hard enough. To say her family is not rich when they have a 7 figure house is a big fat slap into the face of everyone who cannot afford a home and either rent or live on the street. In my book that is very a-holy.

[@bunn228]

Sounds like the "rich family" story, they need to have a candid conversation about expectations from each other! They need to get on the same page.

[@KiboSanti]

I have SUCH a "thing" about being anonymous online. I've had a stalker in the past, and I literally had to move to another state to get my privacy back. I'd IMMEDIATELY ask the staff to get that lady out. I do not want to be perceived. Filming others without their consent is gross and should be called out more

[@cosmicchaos9232]

the Third story: OP was a bit of the Drama for not giving a heads up of 'oh hey, just so you know, the house is on the expensive-side', since that can be blind-siding to some people, but the BF is also the Drama for taking that and making Everything about Money when his GF doesn't seem to care about in in terms of the relationship. Admittedly OP is oblivious, but you're allowed to be a bit oblivious, it just means that this was a learning experience. so honestly everyone is a bit of a Drama, but for different reasons.

[@alex_blue5802]

💯

[@annabelyates5219]

I have dyspraxia (a processing learning disability) and it takes me around a year of repetition and reminders (both gentle and frustrated) from my family to get into a new habit or chore, e.g. shutting cupboard doors, even though I'm an adult now! Neither rewards or punishments speed up the process, its all about repetition and longevity!

[@princessofhell4639]

I just want to say one thing I love about these videos is literally watching Shaaba's thought process behind the badges and seeing her absorb more information (whether from OP or commenters) to eventually come to her verdict. It's just so interesting watching as she is trying to balance the information.

[@petrastedman669]

New word: diffitrick.

[@silverghostcat1924]

Husband in last story should get a physical to make sure nothing is going on health wise that's causing this level of forgetfulness. But what ever the reason, it should be addressed before baby gets into something it shouldn't because hubby forgot to close a cabinet.

[@alexisskelly4073]

The story where the wife wants her husband to pay her makes me feel bad. When I was in primary elementary school I would constantly forget my lunchbox and leave it at school. it’s not like I was doing it on purpose. I just couldn’t remember it turns out I have ADHD. it just feels incredibly gross to punish someone for something that can’t really control

[@erycnelson329]

Whoa boy, that last one. All I'm gonna say is I'm a single parent. Ihave been a parent for over 18 years now. I really relate to the husband in the story. I ended up being diagnosed first with adhd about three years ago, and then autism less than a year ago. I never once forgot to pick up my kid from anywhere. Just saying.

[@overgrown_gardengnome]

I can't even pick up a phone call on the bus. How do people have so little social fear as to straight up RECORD people and refusing to stop when asked to

[@hoathanatos6179]

When it comes to addicts I know, as an addict myself, I would just tell them that I will not support their addiction and that I will not deal with their abusive behavior when they are high, but that I will be there for them when they are ready to get clean.

[@Easypeasypumpkin]

Stories like the first one always scare me, I limit how easy it is to find my location (by normal methods) because I had to escape my last place and I’ve essentially been rebuilding from the ground up. I know some of those people from my past are still trying to figure out where I am, so the thought of someone being able to post a random video with someone in the background which could easily show where they are is terrifying. Honestly part of the reason I’ve ended up with agoraphobia (getting back to normal slowly)

[@lostinmymind8147]

Happy Pride!!!

[@liska_dae]

I've always had trouble holding a job. I managed to avoid addictions, but I struggle with depression. My family was somewhat supportive by giving me a place to stay, but they expect me to figure out how to find help on my own. I can tell I don't have much time left before they give up on me altogether. At 56, I should be able to take care of myself. I am attending a therapy group, and I was seeing a therapist one on one, but I ran out of money to pay for these. One sister gives me money when she can spare it, but not enough to cover them.

[@arcticgalaxies9160]

last one worries me because he could easily forget the kids in a hot car and stuff if he forgets simple things

[@PierceSimms]

the thing I love most about AITA is that it's an open invitation to judge someone, like an anymous Roast without the pressure to be funny. Very cathartic.

[@Kate_Rose_]

shaaba, viber is a messaing app like whatsapp, but was only popular like 10 years ago? like 1) weird to be filming in class as that person was, but 2) who the heck still uses viber?!

[@ilanarhian]

I was wondering about that too! Haven’t heard about Viber in years!

[@sebastiankalstrom237]

That comment about family and how it applies differently to people from different situations hit me really hard. Trauma is amazing in opening people's eyes to the world around them. It's also just gross and disgusting in general. Family is earned not given freely.

[@Ines-lb9nh]

Loved your One Topic impersionation at 7:16 😆

[@farnazgh6839]

For the last story, there was this guy who forgot his child in the car, in the child seat. He parked the car at his workplace, and after the whole day, when his wife called him to ask why the child was not at the daycare, he just remembered that he had left the poor thing in the hot car the whole day. Although he was charged, as some people believe his actions were intentional, the forgotten baby syndrome is real.

[@PJAC1]

"Spicy brains make you forget things, babe!". I'm going to use this line, Shaaba, if you don't mind!!! Love this quote!! My AD/HD brain always has me leaving and forgetting stuff! ❤❤❤

[@tylerrslays]

with the rich dad one, i would say no drama here but OP (like a lot of rich people) is definitely out of touch with how rich her family is. And I don’t think the boyfriend would have necessarily prepared differently, but it’s already a stressful situation meeting parents for the first time, and the way OP described him, the boyfriend seemed overly flustered, nervous and not acting like himself, because he’s just got this new information that his girlfriend has a super rich family, so it’s a bit unfair to spring that on him, but not assholey

[@alex_blue5802]

I think maybe a minor ESH

[@SQUID0NKEY]

To the 3rd story with the rich dad: My grandparents are fairly wealthy (they have a house with a whole indoor pool and a wirlpool, sauna, a wine cellar with expensive wine and food, my granpa even drove an expensive oldtimer, which he imported from america), so I kind of know the situation OP is in. Growing up, I never got told that one half of my family is rich, and I just thought it's normal. They never were open about their finances and didn't want people to think they were entitled (the expensive oldtimer my grandpa had, for example, was almost never used. Just because he didn't want to be "the rich guy" in the neighborhood). I grew up being told that having money is nice, but only if you share it with people who have less, but except that I never felt any way about money and them being rich. They just were normal people to me growing up. When my girlfriend met them the first time, she also said something along the lines like: "Why didn't you tell me that your grandparent are so wealthy?" She wasn't angry or something, she meant ist as a joke, but I didn't get, why this would be an issue anyway. Because the thing is, to me, this isn't important. Having money doesn't make you a bad person. And my grandparents are lovely people who always liked to help and love their family deeply. So I get OP, family is family and wealth doesn't change that.

[@artheenbyrogue804]

I hope the flight was good!! I wish I could meet y'all but I'm in Canada and live with mildly transphobic family members:/ I hope the book tour goes well too:)

[@cathleenc6943]

While it is not illegal to film people in public spaces, the gym may have rules against that, and it enough people complained or even dropped out of classes, they might make a rule against filming people without their consent if they don't already have such a rule.

[@Fabric_Florist]

That last story gave me a bit of an idea actually. From the title I thought it was going to be more like "I forgot to do a thing, so now I have to put a quarter in the forget jar" as like a fun way to help him remember better and also maybe save up for a helpful tool. Sad that the story did not go that way, but I also now want to try a forgetting jar to see if it would help me remember things.

[@zaraandrews600]

Story 1: You are meant to get permission before recording someone. They shouldn't been filming at all. Kick her out of the class and, if she still isn't listening, out of the gym, if needed. I admit there was a volunteer holiday I went on and I didn't fully understand why people did not want to be in photos that I posted onto my social media when I was younger. It took me a few years to understand why they had asked that, and then I went back and took them all down. I still feel really bad about it, at the time I had thought it didn't matter as I made sure the setting was only to my friends and family, and I had very few friends on my Facebook page. I also wasn't sure whether I had any pictures of the person who asked, because by the end of the trip I couldn't remember who had asked not to have pictures posted of them (I know that was probably very shitty of me, but this was a volunteer trip with lots of people I only met for those 2 weeks. I should have taken a note of their name when they asked me though).

[@robnessvic]

The song you sang was Posh Girls by Scouting for Girls! What a throwback for me haha

[@TriciaStewart84]

“…and my wibbly bits were all wibbalin’” 🤣🤣☠️!!! omg I snarfed my drink out of my nose! That was brilliant! You’re so adorably hysterical! 💜💜

[@TriciaStewart84]

19:09 😆☠️!! omg I friggin love you, dude! Your lil side story here is one of the greatest things I’ve witnessed on YT! And then mid sentence, you whip out the quintessential and western show down song, and then seamlessly, right back into the story! I keep thinking about it and I seriously cannot stop laughing! You are an absolute gem!!! 💜

[@catT5236]

Story 1: not only should OP talk to the gym staff but she should get others to do the same. On top of that I'd start wearing a t-shirt that says "I do NOT CONSENT to being recorded"

[@silvermoon2281]

4:37 This makes me so, so uncomfortable to imagine. What if people comment negative things about the people this woman shows in her shots? They weren’t given any free choice to be filmed or not, if this isn’t in violation of any rules at the gym then the rules need to be revised.

[@petrastedman669]

Happy Pride! 🎉❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@finnsnow2495]

I completely agree with Shaaba on the rich story. Yes, OP is out of touch but the bf has let the rich thing inform his opinion about her. It's not OP who is omega rich it's her parents. We don't know if she gets money from and it's clear her enjoyment are not to do with wealth since it's been 8 months and he hadn't had an issue. If my parents were in poverty or if they were 1% I wouldn't nessiarily mention that in 8 months. These are things that are usually picked up by someone like the op. Like she said the bf met the mom and stepdad who are also very wealthy but didn't pick up they might be rich. Usually you'd get a hint from how they act and then ask your gf if they rich then you know. But if it's never come up then OP's family clearly aren't obsessed about money and wealth.

[@vogelvrouw]

Tbh, my stepdad is also very forgetful, leaving doors and cupboards open, not finishing making coffee, stuff like that! He did also actually forget to pick me up from school or forget to bring me a few times.. it was not a good feeling at all. But!! It is mostly because of adhd, partly maybe even from trauma after a car accident. I know he always did his best and just did not notice Now i did move out a bit earlier bc living in a house with him and always cleaning up after him wasnt good for me but i still think that wive is absolutely being the drama! That is not the way to react to his memory issues!!

[@ChibiRandom13]

Harassing staff is a near immediate police call in most places so altho I see how "family" could be given some lee way with that they were still harassing them and the situation was being escalated by the mother coming in and not leaving on her own, not by the police being called. It is in no way OP's fault that any of that happened what a crap family

[@Amethystar]

I'm glad the last OP is asking for advice, and i hope that she and her partner are able to find something that works. As someone with ADHD, there are certain things that I either forget to do, or frequently put off doing for one reason or another. There are also things that I fixate on or gravitate to because I find them easier or more worthwhile or have been rewarded for doing in the past. I also know what it's like to have a reminder system work for a couple weeks before it becomes ineffective. A sticky note might work one day, but is invisible the next. I feel like some people have come down harder on the OP than is necessary. This has been going on for a while and she's entitled to feel frustrated and confused as to why things haven't seemed to change. With that said, i think it's in times of frustration when it's good to examine our own emotions and motives. It's hard to feel sympathy for someone when they keep making the same mistake over and over, but it would be helpful for her to ask if charging him an inconvenience fee would actually be motivating, or if it's just a punishment meant to compensate her for her troubles. Money isn't always motivating, especially if he's unable to pay for some reason. We don't know if the husband is neurodivergent for certain (though it sounds like there's at least something going on that needs to be addressed mentally or physically), and she may not be as familiar with some of the signs and symptoms as other people are. However, this could be a good opportunity to learn more. Aside from seeking professional help, I think there are other ways she can try to help him. Finding ways of creating a positive association or at least some sort of ritual around these tasks might help him do them more readily, but you can't focus on everything all at once. Maybe just focus on the one thing that bothers you most. If it's forgetting a drink, establish a pattern of behavior around the act of preparing the drink and bringing it with him. I personally find touch to be a good memory tool, so getting him to keep touching the drink bottle or whatever it is until it leaves the house with him might be helpful. Tap the bottle with his nails and listen to that sound l. Have him think about how his hand feels when he's touching the drink bottle, and have him focus on his hand when he leaves. Does he feel the bottle in his hand? Is something missing from his hand when he leaves the house? What's missing? Engaging different senses can make an action stick more effectively than a purely vocal reminder. Maybe you can take the $50 that was paid and say that if he can go the week without forgetting, the two of you can spend that number on something nice for both of you, that way you both have something positive to look forward to. If it's the microwave door, have him keep his hand on the door or next to it until he's done and the door is closed, and if he has to remove his hand to take something from the microwave, he needs to put his hand back on the door until he closes it. Have him literally think, "Why is my hand on this door? Oh, right, I need to close it." Maybe you have him focus on the sound of the microwave and imagine the sound of the door being shut. "Have I heard the sound of the door closing yet? No? I probably need to close the door." There needs to be a clear reason behind the ritual until the association can be established. He may be in a rush, but he needs to slow down a little when it comes to the task he's focusing on. I'm not a professional by any means, but my parents did have to teach me to compartmentalize so I could focus on specific tasks instead of being overwhelmed by everything I was forgetting. Let's just say "Clean your room!"was not a task I responded to well, but "Put you dirty clothes in the laundry room" and "Throw your trash away" were manageable. I really hope they're able to find methods that work for both of them. It is tough to deal with, and I know I've been on both sides of that coin. You shouldn't have to feel responsible for another person's actions or lack thereof, but I hope that both can make a concerted effort to be more understanding and to make improvements that will benefit both of them.

[@ghjgme]

I tend to always forget stuff related to stress. I figure if it's something like my cup full of coffee, at least it wasn't that important.

[@MaggieValera]

Re: Callum. When you grow up like a Weasley, it's a bit of a shock when suddenly you're going to Malfoy Manor to meet your girlfriend's dad without a heads up. It's an implied thing that conversation will be less relaxed and a bit more formal. It's a different headspace. As for the last story, my husband had ADHD. I painted the little sign that I hung next to the door that was a list of all the things he had to take with him to work, otherwise I would have to drive to his workplace every day because he will have forgotten something. Ironically, he never forgot his cigarettes. My mother was that way about cabinets which made us kind of OCD about the cabinets. My old roommate's husband was constantly leaving the cabinet doors open. She's several inches shorter and from her perspective, she can't see the cabinets the same way and the cabinet doors are eye level and she actually walked into a cabinet door and it caught her in the eye. If you want an interesting look at perspective either stand on a stool for squat a little and look around and see what you would do differently to protect somebody else from hurting themselves whether it's a child or another adult. Not sure about the payment part cuz eventually he's going to run out of money but he's still going to leave the cabinets open and forget his water bottle.

[@redthecalicocatdragon1610]

I keep getting ads that are alcohol but minorly related to the person I'm watching, got an ad for peach flavored alcohol here, and on another person I watch who uses the word salt a lot I get ads about salting the rim of a glass of alcohol... I find this interesting

[@ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023]

Just out of curiosity, if people could tell what they know: in which all countries / regions are alcohol ads legal on KZbin? (I live in Finland and advertising anything alcoholic is severely limited by law here)

[@redthecalicocatdragon1610]

@@ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023 no idea if it's actually legal here but they pop up anyways, I live in USA

[@ImaginaryMdA]

The story about the rich parents made me really question the OP. I know it's a central rule to AITA that the OP's words are the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but I just can't bring myself to believe that in that case.

[@PaniPunia]

The third story - I thinkbit would be relevant to know what kind of rich OP'S parents are. A mantion? Vintage car collection? Vacation home in Italy? I understand why Callum is freaking out. And I think OP should appreciate he is, because he could be sitting quiet and plot how to make himself comfortable using OP family's money.

[@nathryl03]

Happy Pride Everyone ❤🧡💛💚💙💜This is your regular reminder that you're all awesome, beautiful and valid little spuds, just the way you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@Fates1Embrace]

For the last one I couldn’t even reach a verdict because my brain got stuck on trying to work out how a 6 month pregnant woman could have a 2 month old. Unless the 2m means 2 male not 2 months, but that would be odd to mention...

[@asmolgaytree]

Rich Dad story: I can sorta relate to Callum in a very minor sense. My family has been pretty well off, we aren't rich but we can splurge on a new console when it releases and not have to worry about food in return. But also my dad wouldn't stop for fast food cause he didn't want to pay for it lol (fair) I met my gf's mom and saw her house for the first time and they had SO MUCH like, she was surprised at how many gaming consoles we had while they have a pool, trampoline, super nice speakers and lights for their living room, and a brand new RV that they take on spontaneous roadtrips. I admittedly felt like stray dog that just wandered in off the street for a minute hfskajfhl That said she didn't make me feel lesser or anything like that and obviously loves me very much the way I am, but I almost felt like I would've wanted to wear something a bit nicer had I known. But I wasn't there to have dinner or anything we're in a LDR so I was there to see her for the day and we arrived at the house that evening so it wasn't much of a big deal

[@ThreeRaccoonsInATrenchCoat82]

For the last story, I was wondering if a beeper could help with closing doors? Like how the fridge beeps if you keep it open for too long, but for cupboards. Don't even know if that exists, but it'd definitely remind him haha

[@Mekusan21]

I think for the last one, both were the drama. She was the drama for trying to charge him for bringing the stuff he keeps on forgetting. It sounds like there are other factors going on with him, possibly stress or ADHD. But he's also the drama for not understanding how frustrating it is to bang your head or your body on these cabinets or having to do things constantly like picking up after your husband even though she's really emotional because she's pregnant. I can guess that she's the one cleaning the house and taking care of everything and having that extra load of closing all of the cabinets or doing stuff like picking up her husband's stuff is frustrating sometimes. The fact that he has sticky notes to close doors, is very concerning. He needs to get into the habit to make sure that his children don't get injured or that his wife doesn't get injured from hitting their heads or possibly running into these cabinets or anything else he decides to leave open and who knows what else he's going to forget which is what she's concerned about too. She's thinking that this is a habit to be broken when it could be something that's more mental health-related. So I find both to be the drama.