Sending A DM To My Estranged Mom Revealed How Miserable My Life Truly Was r/Relationships

[@maxsupernova]

That was a trip. But I'm happy for OP gaining his freedom. I felt the same way after my abusive father passed. It's the most peace I had felt ... well, ever.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Everyone in the story really got the ending they deserved! So hopefully OP can live a great future life. And the same to you :)

[@DespairDoctor]

Yeah my father was abusive to me too. In all ways except sexual, I did mourn some of the good times because sometimes he could be great, but I felt much more relief and freedom once he was gone.

[@darkmask5933]

At first I wondered if 'maybe' the grandmother might not have been as bad because we don't know what story she was given ... but then OP revealed she happily verbally abused OP until 4 am along with that monster of a father and yeah, the apple didn't just not fall far from the tree, it plopped straight down. I only pray father was helping that grandmother out so now that he's dead and the estate is likely bankrupt her life is ruined too.

[@Tijggie82]

She also had no problem demonizing the mother. She raised him, you see...

[@pippo17173]

Honestly it's expected when you think how he was taught to teach women when it comes to the old generation.

[@Ospyro3em]

This sorry, pathetic excuse for a father was a selfish, abusive coward. The world is better off with him not in it.

[@dream6562]

F that at least he raised op, not abandon op, abandonment is abandonment no matter the reason

[@Ospyro3em]

@dream6562 he raised OP on a foundation of lies. In the story OP mentions many times where they were abused by the father growing up. Are you saying OP should be grateful for that?!

[@dream6562]

@@Ospyro3em I'm saying if she cared she would have found someway to establish contact with him in one way or another, if I was to choose between the 2 I'd choose the one who was actually raising me

[@werewolfstudio7962]

⁠​⁠ she did try to get access to him again through visitation. And you know what happened? she got beaten by her Ex so badly that she landed in the hospital for it. And the consequence for the Ex is a slap on the wrist of 3 month in jail and still have full custody of their kid. I don’t fully blamed her for not trying again when the whole system is clearly against her.

[@dream6562]

@@werewolfstudio7962 ok don't do it through that means then, there was plenty other ways that was safe for her

[@WoodlandT]

This is what happens when true narcissism meets addiction. It’s an extremely dangerous combination. I’m happy Op is free. But it’s a shame that A-hole took the easy way out. He deserved to rot in prison for many years

[@MrJpaynebb]

Like many abusers he was essentially a coward. He knew he couldn't be in control if convicted and in prison so he took the easy way out. It sucks he won't suffer for his misdeeds but flipside is that OP is done with him and can move on without having to loo, over his shoulder the rest of his life. Honestly it saves the taxpayers money for a trial and incarnation and OP and his mom the stress and trauma of having to go through a trial as well.

[@RequiemPoete]

Maybe it would be more satisfying, but op's da... da... faath.... ugh I can't even type it... SPERM DONOR that sounds better! At least his sperm donor is out of the picture.

[@smit1000]

Yeah i think this story is a work of pure fiction, but the father is indeed shocking in this made up story.

[@RequiemPoete]

@@smit1000 sadly, even if BS there are people living this life without the happy ending.

[@shadowkissed2370]

Yup, the first time I heard this story it sent a shiver down my spine. It is so close to my story with my ex-husband, the fact that there are more people out there like my ex makes me sick to my stomach.

[@DespairDoctor]

Poor OP, didn't deserve any of that, except for the dead father at the end.

[@boneymeroney2674]

Dad ghosting OP at the end was one of the best updates ever.😂

[@Listrynne]

"Ghosting" LOL

[@pippo17173]

Literally karma came and gave him the treatment he deserves.

[@femalepapyrus]

👻

[@hiroshi7025]

I feel frustrated by that end. Soup side is too easy of an exit for this type of scum to get away with this.

[@damencurrie7397]

I'm glad the mother here finally got to meet her son. I'm glad both her and OP never have to worry about that walking tower of excrement again. Hopefully OP can experience healthy relationships to counteract the damage their father did.

[@Goldenxbih]

I really wish he didn’t commit suicide so he fully went to prison for every single one of his crimes.

[@magnarcreed3801]

Na. Waste of resources.

[@Iflie]

Yeah he only had what 3 months of prison in the past for his obvious abuse? And they still just gave him the child and never checked up on him.

[@catsncrows]

Yes because unless he had a life sentence with no possibility of parole he would have gotten out eventually plus "friends in law enforcement" shows he's very adept at enlisting others to do his dirty work. After nearly taking me out twice from medical neglect amongst other evil my mother neglected symptoms of cancer in herself and died when I was 19. My much older sister had to deal with her sorry ass for many more years of her adult life. I'm so glad she died even though she deserved prison, my sister is not okay

[@CandaceDreamer]

This honestly felt like a movie plot. Wow. Just wow. I’m glad it sounds like op is doing better now that that man is out of their life.

[@secretskull21]

“Oh no, my abusive personality is driving my child away from me, and taking the money I’ve relied on for my substance addiction with him… GUESS I BETTER GET EVEN MORE ABUSIVE”

[@invisigoth510]

That was an intense story. I hope Alex goes on to have a wonderful life His mom turned out to be alright. She couldn’t be mom to him when he was young & needed her but in the end she was there when he needed her

[@ZombieSazza]

Happy OP got their freedom in the end. Having an abusive parent does massively warp your idea of normal relationships so a lot of us don’t recognise the child abuse whilst growing up, or we blame ourselves, or there’s nobody else around in our lives that can step in to help. I escaped years ago and went full no contact 5/6 years ago, I’d never felt such relief and peace before. My bio mother and brother have only ever tried to contact me to harass me and I’ve a friend circle that protects me from any contact attempts, and my dad (only bio relative I have contact with) outright refuses to let them even try and contact me. It sucks, but that’s the only way I can be free, living cautiously and being wary at all times.

[@Enriquez2222]

I went through something very similar to this with my ex. I haven’t seen my son in 4 years, I was a teen when it happened and had no family support.

[@diamcole]

I'm so sorry.

[@hiroshi7025]

I hope you're doing better! Sorry you had to go through that.

[@CensorshipVictim]

Classic example of the innocent kid paying the price for the parent(s) sins. OP did nothing but exist

[@SCP01986]

Father in this case. Mother was innocent and worked so hard to make sure OP's life was good and to get him out of there.

[@Tarantulaii]

This made my blood boil. So happy they're now free from fear and all this abuse, one less horrible human to worry about. Truly hope that they can now heal in peace and be happy..!

[@deballen7031]

Wow, another massive rollercoaster ride and so many updates that I feel positively spoiled. I'm so pleased that OP was finally able to enjoy his life but what a hideous price to pay for it. Here's wishing OP the very best for a bright and wonderful future.😊

[@MrsKatieninja]

and IVE JUST LEARNED that BEING BERATED AND GUILTED WAS ABUSE. WONDERFUL. SO MY WHOLE LIFE WAS WORSE THAN IT ALRRADY WAS AND THE CONSTANT NEED TO APOLOGIZE MAKES SENSE. ONLY, IM STILL GOING THROUGH IT. I sware to god- ugh....

[@GalliaUchiha]

I'm so sorry it took this long in your life and this KZbin video to realize this.

[@Listrynne]

I hope you can find local support soon to get you to safety. There are tons of good resources online to help you too. ❤

[@nr7701]

I'm sorry friend, stay strong. Life is worth living even if you've been dealt a bad hand of cards thus far, it can always change in the future.

[@piiinkDeluxe]

OPs mum is pretty cool, though. I admire her maturity when they first met.

[@gcarr1089]

Glad OP is an adult as grandmother would have tried to get him back. She has probably already started to groom someone into helping "a poor old lady who has been abandoned by her ungrateful grandson, who cause the demise of his father by running away". People like her can work the crowds to her advantage.

[@taylorslade961]

This is absolute insanity. I am so glad that OP is okay. And honestly, in regards to the sperm donor dying, nothing of value was lost.

[@littlegreycat]

20:30 omg those last two updates. I was hoping for so much better for this young man. Thank goodness his Mom turned out to be a good support.

[@thesmirkingcheshire6936]

That seemed like an unending nightmare. I’m glad OP can now live without constantly looking over his shoulder in fear.

[@fangybyte]

I feel this kid so hard. Escaping from an addicted, abusive narcissist and having them commit suicide in the middle of court proceedings is such a weirdly relieving, but also aggravating thing. They deserve so much worse for all the crap they put their victims through. I hope his father is rotting in hell along with my abuser.

[@piiinkDeluxe]

Basically, stuff like this happens when you don't hold your children accountable. The mother was horrible too and raised this POS.

[@25Erix]

There's a special circle in Hell for people like this.

[@KE-hr4sb]

Holy frick that escalated (wasn't surprised to hear it and am glad OP is OK). "I am free." My sister and I have had a conversation similar to how I might feel once our mother's funeral comes around. To put it in a nutshell, she was physically abusive to me and my youngest step-brother, as well as other abuse like parentifying my oldest sister, etc. The four of us (now grown) kids barely have anything to do with her, to varying degrees: my sister remains in the most frequent contact. The older of the two brothers calls her occasionally, I think mostly to stay in touch with his dad if I'm honest. The youngest brother, as far as I'd heard, didn't speak to her for years, although I think he keeps in contact with his brother and maybe dad. I'm NC. Sis once asked me how I'd feel when our mother died, hypothetically since of course we can't know for sure. I said probably nothing: she's not my mom anymore. But I wouldn't celebrate and throw a party or anything like that, because other people that I love might be hurting, and that would be incredibly insensitive to them. "Free" sounds about right, even though she's not a part of my life anymore.

[@AceFoxx70001519]

People like OP's dad in this story deserve a certain, barbaric by today's standards, form of justice, he deserved so much worse than he got in the end.

[@kaykay8855]

Is there a counter for every story that ends with: My parent died and I feel no sadness?

[@RequiemPoete]

Honestly I'm amazed these stories don't end with: "Then I barricaded my parent(s) bedroom door tossed the match and left the house."

[@1964Puddles]

Omg, I was on the edge of my seat throughout this! So glad OP and mom can finally be safe.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

That was an insanely crazy story but I am so so glad that OP’s eyes were finally opened to what a toxic, horrible and abusive person their father (and grandmother) are and it’s wonderful that they were able to connect with their mother. I always really appreciate when Reddit manages to help a person realise that the terrible, unfair way they are being treated by their parents/family/partner is NOT normal, that it’s actually the other person/people who are the problem not them and finally that their feelings are valid and they deserve much better from life. When you have been raised in a particular environment or are in the midst of a relationship with someone who is manipulative and demanding you either don’t know any different or you lose faith in your own judgment. This is why abuse nearly always involves eroding a person’s self esteem and trust in themselves.

[@cpaul9269]

GREAT! For the first time in his life, Dad did the right thing! Good luck, OP!

[@debbiehenderson7830]

Wow! There are no words. Thank goodness op is free and can start reclaiming his life

[@wildblue0]

I hope he takes advantage of his uni's mental health service. Just because he's feeling good now, doesn't mean he won't need the support.

[@kuno3336]

This was like a future sequel to a story I heard yesterday, where the OP was the dad in the situation and called the mom a deadbeat despite the fact that she paid 125% child support. Kinda hope that OP runs across this story

[@TiffWaffles]

Parents like OP's father had no right to be parents in the first place. I feel terrible for both OP and his mother, but I feel terrible for OP. As somebody who was attacked repeatedly by both my bio dad and stepdad, I know how it feels to be in that situation. I just feel terrible for OP. He's got a lot of healing to do and I just want to hug him and tell him that everything's going to be okay.

[@Deedoof]

Op's dad did the world a favor, I'm happy for OP and his loved ones.

[@Clairski3]

Can I just applaud the mother in the first story for how she dealt with her (rightfully) angry son? She didn’t try to defend herself and let him vent, and was ready to be the AH in his head forever . That takes soms real strength given what her husband did to her. That comes out of a place of real health. Child abandonment should never be justified, but it really does seem she did what she thought was best for the baby. I only wish she had tried to come back in her son’s life when she recovered from her deep depression - they could have had a relationship.

[@dorianleakey]

"I do hope you enjoyed" Yeah, kind of, not the word I would choose.

[@mikdavies5027]

@dorianleakey. EXACTLY!!! (Endured would be a better choice!)

[@hithropyro9051]

I'm happy that op is free and safe. I also feel awful for him. It is an objective failure on the part of a parent if their child isn't sad when they die.

[@fantasyfan6037]

Thanks for another video Markee!

[@Ecclectic_citcelccE]

Holy cow! I'm glad he made it.

[@EluneAnzu]

Final update: All I can think of is that meme from that scene from the critic "and nothing of value was lost"

[@arleneclark6369]

What did the POS father expect to do when the child support stopped legally?? Even if his son didn't move out, child support isn't forever. What happened to his POS grandmother??

[@LizHellsing]

When I heard "this is Alex's boyfriend " my heart sank. Glad he ended up being OK.

[@AprilSunshine]

Best outcome possible at that point! Crazy that as soon as I heard "he broke my nose" I immediately said "wake up! you're lucky he didn't kill you!" Only to immediately learn that's exactly what he tried next. Crazy how abusers act like they're going by some sort of screwed up play book. So predictable. Good riddance.

[@harveyweaver9372]

Now this was a great update video!

[@HawthorneVampire]

I still think of this post and hope there will be an update on the grandma who stood with dad throughout

[@tolubewaji8766]

Thank God that kid is ok….physically, but I really hope he gets help for the mental scar all this will leave

[@erikagehm2805]

OP, please get counseling for this, and please go find an abuse support group that you like. Also, I wish you good luck.

[@betheguy_posts]

Is it bad that I'm more upset about the dad "exiting the server" than I should be? Sick bastard managed to escape justice at every turn, even in the end. I'm not a religious man but people like that make me hope that Hell exist.

[@19nmiller1]

Its a small detail, but god I'm not at all surprised that POS had ties to law enforcement. Its unfortunately extremely common. Absolute worthless human and I'm glad he's gone. Some people dont deserve life

[@velveteenrabbit5940]

That guy was a freaking spineless piece of crap through and through that classicly accused his ex of everything he himself was responsible for. The only reason Im upset his life ended is because he didnt have to suffer the consequences of any of his actions. What an absolute scumbag I dated a guy that that once. Regularly SA me, accepting it as currancy for him not throwing me out of the house as well as taking every time I made and the moment I cut him off perminantly he turned verbally and physically abusive. Im so glad everyone got away from that utter demon and are living better lives

[@ObsidianFaux]

The judges for parents divorce and custody suck, it’s like right in their face that the mother or father are clearly not fit, and half the time no one has power for that much stupidity

[@pitbullbirdlover]

Wow..... $3000..… that's almost 3 times what I live on every month. What a prick. Glad he got his in the end.

[@leaflet1686]

He prove to be a monster and an abusive prick, even SA... And the lawyers gave him unlimeted access to a little kid!

[@sequoyasierra5671]

Damn decent of the man to do himself in so OP would have no more worries. As his only heir, OP probably got some money back from the sale of the house.

[@dianecheney4141]

Your dad was trying to make you complicit by having you do the bills. He could’ve honestly told the court that you knew where every cent went, except you never knew about the child support

[@janenorwood1614]

The grandmother had a role to play in all that as well

[@MsMookalate]

I heard this story I've been waiting for updates

[@jasonreynolds423]

Like always, the coward took the cowards way out of his punishment

[@hyzenthlayrose2176]

Damn. Well I'm so glad this had a happy ending.

[@renaeodonnell4558]

Whoa! I had heard this story before but where did those last 2 updates come from!?!?

[@yamairad1]

Sometimes reddit saves lives.

[@HackiePuffs]

OP must be feeling so much internalized guilt.. even if it’s not their fault I can see them beating themselves up for resenting their mom. I hope OP can afford some type of therapy and the mom can even help pay with what she’s been giving OP all this time. Although it might be a struggle to get father dearest’s access away from it.. my heart goes out to OP and the mom 💙 Edit: I’m really happy for OP. I’m glad that Jeanette McCurdy wrote her book “I’m Glad My Mom Died” because the relief that the children feel when their abusers pass is completely valid and shouldn’t be shamed. I wish everyone the best and that the dad rots.

[@txquilter608]

I'm sorry OP was assaulted their father. No one should live in fear of the person who should have been OPs protector. It was a terrible resolution, but I'm not sure how it could have ended. If OPs father ever got out, he would have most likely gone after OP and mom.

[@Hazey4420]

Holy hell what a ride

[@hellkitelord8319]

I had listened to this story before, but without the last few updates. Thankfully OP was able to get away from their father I had been worried about them. Wile it didn't end the way I thought, but I'm not surprised.

[@DisneyChar]

Well, dad mostly got away with it.... but grandma could have many years left alone to think about her life.

[@morganleanderblake678]

so... jftr, I hope everyone who watches this immediately remembers it when some dipst!ck says "oh but families have to stick together" and tries to overwrite some horrible thing that happened. This dad literally tried to b3at his son to d3ath. All because he lost his meal ticket.

[@catsncrows]

Me: People can be pretty evil Hears post Frickin hell!😬

[@chasecash1363]

Damn. I wish dad was put in a low security prison. Theres only two people prisoners truly despise. Corrupt cops and those who hurt children. He shouldve got what he was coming to there. Not a quick bite of the bullet.

[@mellowmallow4855]

No matter how much i listen to this I cannot understand why OP went back after his vacation. He could have just used the two weeks to leave as he already had his important papers, packed his important stuff and was in contact with his aunt.

[@Zachriel_Productions]

Oh lord

[@lisakaz35]

I wonder if OP's grandmother is still an unrepentant enabler or she ever apologized.

[@historictruecrime5119]

I am so glad his nightmare is over. I hope he and as mother can have a good relationship moving forward and that he and his boyfriend work out and can be happy together forever.

[@harveyweaver9372]

I wanna know what happened with the grandmother

[@ThatOddChickenHippie]

Hope Hell is real and that it's HOT

[@emeraldpichu1]

Honestly, the most evil person in the story was the grandmother. She knew the son was narcissistic, manipulative, psychopath who abused women including his own sister, and decided to support that crap and even get in on the abuse probably just for the money honestly, what a gross piece of garbage

[@sleepyearth]

Really glad OP reached out to his mother and now he needs therapy for all the abuses he endured.

[@SuadAbubakarHassan]

That poor woman almost escaped only to be pulled back by that parasite and his dad/grandmother. OP is fooling himself to think he's not his father's son and will be repeating that circle

[@glambertgurl1117]

Wtf? OP is a hell of a lot better person than his dad and grandmother. Do you just judge everyone based on how their parent(s) were and assume they'll be the same way? If so, I feel sorry for you because that's a sad way of viewing people.

[@tigernotwoods914]

Something doesn’t make sense. Why would mom still need to pay say anything when OP is already 18? Am I missing something?

[@terramarini6880]

18 or until they finish school is the usual child support arrangement. Dad would likely have insisted on some local school in order to keep the kid and the CS payments in his household and made OP work full time to pay their own way.

[@owloftheinkwell9925]

If I were to guess, she probably kept giving out of her good will. But then again like you, I probably missed something like you

[@meiimacca4054]

In some places I think if the kid goes to college the parent still has to pay support for the duration. Which op said he was going to college

[@Mia-dt3gl]

This story honestly sounds like a work of fiction.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

@wyltedleaves Nah 🤣

[@magnarcreed3801]

Happens often. Especially baby trapping

[@Mia-dt3gl]

@@magnarcreed3801 The way it escalated makes it sound fictional.

[@justine8387]

I have worked in DV and the escalating rings true. Unfortunately, people who like control fall apart very quickly when they start to lose it.

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Some ppl are very ignorant about what child support is for. It osnt just some allowance for the child to do whatever. Also the cost of living in places. Where I live a 1 bedroom apartment ran $2200 without utilities before c19.

[@smit1000]

Fake story is fake.

[@srideout91]

R/thathappened

[@kiraalexandraruizburgos1236]

🦐

[@ajzephyros7454]

Oh right seen this story before, it's so fucked. Just imagine if OP had been a girl or trans.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

I hope any women in similar situations just have an abortion and not give abusive men a child to abuse.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

There is always 2 sides of the story and there is a truth.

[@smit1000]

I think the truth is this story never happened. Good writer though.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

This is most likely...it is too much drama , like telenovela my late grandma use to watch 🤣@@smit1000

[@Misssarabee]

@@smit1000this story can absolutely happen. It happened to me. Kind of. I was 16 when I started talking to my friends cousin who was 25. He convinced my immature brain that if I got my ged I could move in with him. I did that and moved in. Then his aunts threatened to call the cops and we got married at a courthouse the next day. The next three years of my life were spent cooking cleaning and getting beaten. I got pregnant at 17, had my son at 18 and then in the spring of 2010 I couldn’t take it anymore, tried to hang myself in the backyard and chickened out. He hit me again, I called the cops and he convinced them I was an unfit mother. Got the 72 hour hold and then went again a few days later of my own accord because I didn’t feel safe. The state made me give temporary custody of my son to my then sister in law and I left. Why did I leave? Because my then husband held me at knifepoint in our kitchen and told me if I tried to take our son he would chop me up into fish chum and go tuna fishing with my remains. I was like okay well I’m out and I haven’t seen my son since. I miss him everyday. It’s been almost 13 years since I’ve seen my son. I think of him all the time but I also would like to remain alive and I’m glad I left. I now have a lovely toddler daughter and when I look at her all I can think is I wish she knew she had a brother. I am waiting until he comes to find me to tell him everything. After I say my piece, whatever happens happens, but atleast my boy will know the truth. Don’t discount someone’s story because it sounds wild. Truth is stranger than fiction