Seven minutes of classic one-liners by Gary Delaney:Funny gags from 'Comedy Club Classics 2000-2013'

This clip is from my show 'Comedy Club Classics 2000-2013' which is being released as a free 50 minute + download to everyone who is on my mailing list on or after Blue Monday, 18th January 2021. You can join up at www.garydelaney.com. This clip is basically jokes from my first tour long ago that not many people saw. About half the jokes I later used on Mock the Week and Live at the Apollo.
I'm on tour in '21 and '22. The first dates are on sale here www.garydelaney.com and there are more to come. There's little socially distanced work in progress shows in April and May, and then proper shows in proper venues from June as that gives time for vaccine rollout so events should be back to normal by then, fingers crossed. Many towns are currently missing from this list due to Covid and will be added as those places reopen in '21. A lot of venues sold out very fast. We'll try and add more dates in these places if venues let us, where sold out venues are socially distanced there may also be more tickets on sale once restrictions are finally dropped. Whenever new tickets go on sale I'll alert everyone on my mailing list so they don't miss out.
I've got a joke book out called Pundamentalist if you like that sort of thing. It's got 1000 jokes in it, none of which are in Gary In Punderland. All the usual places for the UK, www.bookdepository.com for international orders.
I'm also on Twitter @GaryDelaney Instagram @GaryDelaneyComic and Facebook @GaryDelaneyComedian and post a joke a day on those pretty much all the time.
OK that's it. Bye, thanks and happy new year.

[@robi3081]

Gary is Britain's most underrated comedian in my opinion.

[@peterfennell16]

It's not often that, when I'm sat alone watching a comedian do his thing, he's so funny that I actually laugh out loud! I don't mean a quiet little chuckle to myself but a tea spitting, nose running, teary eyed gaffaw that passers by looking in the window would think they were seeing an escaped loon having an episode. Seriously funny bloke. Seriously underrated.

[@andrewjohnson6716]

Thanks Mr. Delaney. Now everyone else on the tram thinks I’m mental. Off in the corner, laughingly madly to myself.

[@PiusXulu]

😂😂😂

[@Mystro84]

That Panty Liner gag. When you're watching on KZbin, and you still made the noise, you know the man has a gift.

[@philipboyd3544]

It doesn't matter how many times I watch this I always crack up laughing.

[@gravyblue]

" my girlfriends dog died ...." is probably my favourite joke in the world.

[@brentcrude8565]

Gary's a legend, and this is a dream audience for any comedian.

[@craigising]

I recently suffered an amputation and I was prescribed a leg end. But the pharmacist made a typo and that's how I got arrested for ramming my stump up Ian Botham's arse.

[@MarkTheMorose]

This audience loved every minute, a pleasure to watch.

[@mrsnrub8500]

Sometimes the audience can just add to the magic ... and that crowd were certainly making that gig special.

[@davidburkmotorsportart5521]

Very good, I just spent the last 8 minutes crying out loud laughing, on my own at home...some corkers in there, if not all LOL!

[@iamtomkills]

Me too

[@McKavian]

I've loved your work for years, Gary. I hope you keep going for many more years to come.

[@nevetsM5CS]

You are bloody brilliant. Thanks Gary.

[@vinny3266]

Discovered this guy very recently. I'm very impressed 😂😂.

[@Nutsarooba]

One of the funniest!! Perfect delivery and different to everyone else! Love him!!

[@GARY6661967]

You're a fuckin genius Gary😂😂 peace, love and respect my ridiculously funny brother✌❤🙏😂😂

[@PiusXulu]

Why is Gary being slept on? He's brilliant 💯👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

[@mvlcmlgmclmgkcmlfm]

Im swedish, and i love British comedy, thanks to somw channels on my TV i started watching Would i Lie to you, 8 out of 10 cats and so on. I now stumbled in here thanks to another video on here on KZbin where i kinda recognized all other comedians except you Gary! Big shame i have not seen u earlier and more of u. Hope ill do in future tough! Thanks for giving me a big laugh!

[@mvlcmlgmclmgkcmlfm]

@Scum Spawn I'll look it up for sure! Thanks for info. If i dont forget ill come back here with an respons on them. Have a great weekend!

[@boardmike82]

Only 5min in and I've laughed a lot already. Good stuff!

[@davidb9036]

Yeah I love this type of comedy, get you laughing and don't give you a chance to stop.

[@conflictmagazine5412]

I love this kind of comedian, firing out hilarious joke after hilarious joke,

[@christopherhoy8705]

Milton Jones is another like that aswell as Stewart Francis class comedy

[@arsenvokrug4198]

I used to laugh at Milton Jones and Stewart Francis but now I pizz myself at Gary Delaney! To be honest, I’m older now, so that might explain it!

[@juliette2439]

Wetting myself funny! Glad I found this,I needed cheering up :-)

[@MarkStabler]

Brilliant as usual mate 😃

[@gregchapman5556]

Without doubt the funniest guy on the planet 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@carlfisher7465]

Thanks Gary, big fan, love you loads, all the best buddy!! Cheers

[@ronaldgoldberg8735]

He's the main man. Gary the Greatest

[@essex__rider]

Legend! 🙌

[@hoagy_ytfc]

The shots of the audience look like the crowd in the "sitcom within a sitcom" When The Whistle Blows in Extras.

[@DJDaveParks]

Are you havin a laugh?

[@zuricrqsatlz9145]

Well done, Gary. Very funny every time I watch this.

[@carolinehoward180]

Just bought my ticket for Plymouth!!! Yay!!!

[@chriscunningham4196]

Utterly brilliant. And no torches. 😎

[@gregtossell]

Absolutely brilliant

[@weskal5490]

Classic Gary. Love it!!

[@Jeff121456]

As a ginger American, that set really hit home.

[@FALslayer]

I'm ginger and it was fantastic, at least it was creative

[@robelliott9447]

Quality material mate I'm howling here

[@tobiaskamutzki7149]

Just found out today as a leaving present/promotion at my work one of my work mates has got us tickets for Edinburgh in the summer. Can't wait.

[@johnnyworzel3741]

Great to see you, if only on KZbin for now. All the best for 2021 :)

[@GlenCarne]

Great stuff Gary, as usual.

[@philipboyd3544]

The best. Thanks.

[@EleanorPeterson]

Loll. LOL. Nice work, sir! :-)

[@rodgerjamesbeck]

Please come to Canada.

[@anncarroll2204]

I love this guy.

[@johnpoulson384]

Fresh jokes. Fantastic

[@JoeScottish]

OK, well I'm joining the mailing list :)

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Thanks and welcome

[@deanrichardson8632]

Always has me laughing like a madman...love it😂😂😂

[@Funkstar124]

Gary. I don't know how you remember all those jokes but I'm glad you do! Nearly soiled myself!

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

A memory palace.

[@Funkstar124]

Keep 'em coming Gazza. You're a real tonic in these crappy times!

[@TheAlfsterino]

@@GaryDelaneyComedian How did you know what my ex-girlfriend's vagina was called?

[@iantracey5331]

@@GaryDelaneyComedian 59

[@nigelwade892]

Genius!

[@markbignell8110]

Brilliant.

[@stevemerchant1862]

The UK'S best stand up comedian. Brilliant!

[@SamarIqbal1-2-1]

I think Lee Evans or Micky Flanagan might have something serious to say about this! 😊

[@warbseven8613]

Awesome. REAL comedy.

[@michaelcollins8845]

Gary.....i cant stop laughing.....im splitting my sides........get me a surgeon😀

[@garylawlor2288]

Lovely stuff 🤣🤣🤣

[@iamtomkills]

Genius mate.

[@AlexSmith-od7qg]

Very funny, clever and entertaining

[@Gbhbbgvsbnjhhdchhb]

This guy is excellent

[@thutomoof]

He's soooo funny

[@captainroger]

Nice one

[@nipsterm6262]

1st time heard this guy. Well funny.

[@scoutthespaniel978]

Great audience!!

[@DruGunnersVR]

The cast of Emmerdale Farm on the front row 😆

[@Meisha-san]

This is hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣

[@rhyslewis4399]

I was there, im a heckler but a shy one!

[@Baz7575]

i'll pick the book up when i go get the deal on the Raffle tickets lol

[@musakhan777]

Excellent!

[@fullycocked]

this guy is awesome. so funny

[@pauldncn1]

Gary nice arts centre in Berwick upon Tweed , be a good place to piss myself laughing at your show Thanks for the smile Gary

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Ask them to book me then! I played there once many years ago but they’ve now shown a lot of interest since to be honest. I’m happy to travel anywhere in the UK. The main constraint on shows is whether venues choose to take the show. They’re massively more likely to book me if locals ask them to or just ask the box office if I’ll be playing there soon. This shows them there’s demand.

[@pauldncn1]

@@GaryDelaneyComedian we can but ask .. lots !

[@trekker3382]

you're the best .. i saw you live in my town a few years ago, and it was the funniest evening ever .. i am now going to your website to see if you'll be here again

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

First batch of dates for new tour is on sale. next hopefully much larger batch will go on sale as restrictions start to be eased.

[@trekker3382]

@@GaryDelaneyComedian secured my ticket now - cannot wait for the night - i just know your comic genius will have me in stitches

[@kachdragonfly]

Come to Australia when you next can. Fantastic one liners

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Thanks but I don't fly.

[@kachdragonfly]

@@GaryDelaneyComedian Thanks for the response. Guess I'll just have to come to the UK; and catch you on DVD. Best wishes.

[@craigising]

@@kachdragonfly Last time I was there they had DVD players in Australia.

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

DVDs are pretty much defunct now but my first tour is available as free download to people on my mailing list on Monday and the second later this year.

[@1adam123]

Very funny shit. I love brutal jokes!

[@DrWhoFanUK]

I have that poster too!!!

[@gregwaugh8069]

Gold

[@Redrocker316]

Legend

[@kevindieter5542]

Left me for a Chinese guy !!

[@tonyb5884]

I purchased the book pundamentalist and found some of the pages were stuck together. ..I luv gary's sense of humour!

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

That's how I sign them.

[@tonyb5884]

@@GaryDelaneyComedian your pen is always used at book signings... ?

[@jimmyspanners]

Nice Gary. I like how you came in with that.

[@limeyfox]

I love that the joke at 5:40 was so funny, the women on the front row laughed so much they changed gender 😮

[@jasonjones5357]

Nice to know your back on tour m8 - Will be funny trying to hear you with a mask on.

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

All that nonsense will be over by Summer.

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

All that nonsense will be over by Summer.

[@jasonjones5357]

I had a one liner for that about the ladies but I'll leave it to you! Haha' wish it goes well everyone needs a bit of cheering up. Good stuff.

[@jarrapara8596]

Put your mask over your mouth instead of your ears

[@thefreedomguyuk]

Wicked !!!

[@stephencarey6114]

Bloody love you

[@amwartwork]

f7ckin brilliant

[@laughteraddict1003]

Come to Hawaii when this shits over.

[@roymillsjnr5172]

Just found him how he remembers his gags ive got memory span of fish 😂

[@kylewilliams5761]

Fucking Brilliant.!!!!

[@ericmundean7401]

Naughty but nice

[@nipsterm6262]

Funny

[@Christianmusic191]

He'd be absolutely perfect on Taskmaster.

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Tell them that!

[@MattiasA72]

Come to Sweden when this covid shit goes away.

[@GARY6661967]

You coming to Hull any time soon?

[@williamdonnelly895]

Love this guy's shit! 👌. 😳

[@peterhall6656]

Love your work but as an Aussie it's a bit difficult to get your gigs! Keep up the great work.

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Thanks. I get a lot of requests to play Australia and New Zealand but I don't fly so that's not going to happen. Sorry.

[@brentcrude8565]

@@GaryDelaneyComedian You could take the Panty Liner.

[@craigising]

@@GaryDelaneyComedian Boy, are my arms tired.

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Tour dates: www.garydelaney.com More dates will be added as more venues reopen and gradually work through their backlog of postponed shows. If it says "Join waiting list" that means it's not really sold out as the venue held back tickets because of social distancing. For events after June 21st 2021 these can reasonably be expected to go on sale at some point, hence the waiting list.

[@blatherskite9601]

When are you coming to Norway on tour, Gary?

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Probably never as I hate flying.

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

I’ve done it, plus hypnosis etc etc.

[@richardhunter7363]

So disappointed that your date in Whitehaven had sold out before i even knew about it.

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

That’s a work in progress show and was sold as socially distanced so it sold out right away. There’s a good chance the venue will have more tickets available if social distancing is scrapped before then. There’s also a good chance they’ll reappear later in the tour for a regular. Join the mailing list at www.garydelaney.com to be notified when more dates or tickets go on sale. I suggest

[@richardhunter7363]

@@GaryDelaneyComedian joined this morning. Keep up the good work. Your comedy really helps to get through these difficult times. Thank you

[@Davehiphop]

Are you coming to Australia?

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

No, I don't fly.

[@dingdong289]

Entered the erection competition, was disappointed to lose in the semi's !!

[@Evertonftkopites]

Can someone explain the lifebelt joke?

[@johnnyworzel3741]

He drowned ...it’s what he would have wanted.

[@mickmiah7605]

Gaz, come to Folkestone or do a gig online that we pay to see. Luv u bud

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

I'm sure I'll have something in that area when the next batch of dates drop. Maybe late feb or march when we're in sight of restrictions being lifted. Sign up for local alerts at www.garydelaney.com

[@dawnjohnson8739]

😂

[@getyourwillhere]

Hey Gary here is one - Ben Ladin's garbageman - Bin Liner I write for some local amateur comics

[@craigising]

What do you write for them? Parking tickets?

[@jarrapara8596]

At least spell his name right

[@jarrapara8596]

Worst joke ever, I feel sorry for the comedians you write for, they must die on their arses every night with shit like that, you obviously have no comic brain, in fact, if brains were wool, you wouldn't have enough to make a tampax for a budgie mate

[@craigising]

@@jarrapara8596 oh, Jarra, I just realised that I have been calling him Garry because of this post. 😂🤣😂

[@getyourwillhere]

Wow look at all the nasty little people commenting here.

[@andrewbow271]

Is that Dara O'Brien in the front row.

[@markfrost2579]

Great set but you’d think you were been punk’d with that audience

[@captainroger]

It's almost like your chest did heroin and your belly did dunkin doughnuts. Well played