Silent Struggles: How Gay Men Use Self-Numbing to Cope with Emotional Pain | S3 E14

[@scottyh8494]

I’m 60. Believe me it comes around before you know it.

[@FindAReason-mi7go]

Older gay men are a significant population and we need channels etc. to cater to that population.

[@ralphcherry617]

I'm 78. You NEVER really "feel your age." In my head I'm still in my 30s. Don't sweat it, kiddos.

[@frankgyure3154]

Great attitude.

[@darkzomb]

As a 40 year old... about to be 41... Everything sucks. My hip/leg joint sometimes causes me pain when I walk, the back of my knee hates stairs, my lower back aches when I stand still, blood pressure decided to rise, and my elbow constantly feels like I slept on it wrong. So don't turn 40, its like how electronics are designed to break right after the warranty period has ended...

[@FindAReason-mi7go]

I am older than you and know what you mean. I would hate to know what it is like for other gay men who don't have plenty of money to make sure that they can arrange their life to offset their developing conditions.

[@teal1010]

Many people say their 40’s are the best age! You begin to see and feel physical changes but you make improvements and adjustments with better health choices! You’ll notice changes in your body in the beginning, but you’ll be surprised to see many changes become barely noticeably and many pass! I know, I’m 63!

[@PokhrajRoy.]

Happy Pride Month 🌈 ALSO, I love it when Joel says “Still boyfriends”. It always cracks me up.

[@markc65]

I'll be 60 next year and hate filling in the age range in forms. Because as soon as you've completed one range (the lower range), you can only go to the next older range.

[@veggiet2009]

I'm 37, and the other day my mom said "oh you're almost 40!" *Oooof*

[@ralphd.4857]

I am 70 and mentally 40. Things are ok until 60 and then things start to fall apart after that. The worst is you do stuff that you only feel 2 days later. Hate that.

[@jeffhampton2767]

Half of the gay men that I know died in their 50s and 60s

[@calvind2054]

I used drugs only on the weekends to go out to bars and clubs throughout most of my 20’s. By the time I turned 30, I was dealing with two failed relationships and started losing hope of any chance of the life I hoped to have. Weekend highs were no longer enough. And I no longer felt the need to not do drugs to not give the wrong impression of myself to people. I became clinically depressed, started therapy and became more depressed. Therapy was not good for me despite my trying for years. I became suicidal. Then I started to avoid friends, family and just socializing in general. That was time for me to get high. And I literally hoped for an overdose. I never got high around or with others and did it alone. My thinking was if I overdose at home alone, I can’t be saved and could just die. In that time, I even made attempts. I far past those days, don’t drink or do drugs anymore. But, still clinically depressed and on meds, alone because i gave up on the gay community. It’s shiite for many of us. And still hoping to die soon. But the damn doctors keep telling me I’m healthy. I hate it. I think I’m becoming an old bitter, useless, gay. I say becoming because I’m not bitter yet, but I practice being bitter. Weird, I know. But my life has bee and is weird. We all don’t get to have happy endings, if they did actually exist.

[@ralphcherry617]

Excellent, excellent discussion, guys. You are performing a wonderful, unique service. Thank you.

[@judemclean2690]

Have you guys read the Velvet Rage? Some points within this discussion remind me of that book.

[@shangri-laj9578]

Keegan looks great Joel, leave him alone! 🙂

[@oxfordboyca]

@6:52 Sex addiction doesn't exist? Compulsive sexual behavior disorder, or sex addiction, is classified by the World Health Organization as a mental health disorder under Impulse control disorders in ICD-11 as of 2018 after much debate. The UK and the US are currently implementing ICD-11 classifications. The craving for sex is similar to cravings felt for alcohol or drugs by those who have addictions to these substances. It's an overwhelming compulsion or temptation that's so strong you feel that you have to have it. Behaviors associated with it are treated with techniques to help resist a temptation, urge or impulse.

[@Kosh-Prime]

I worry about our youth obsession in the community. It causes so much stress.. so much drama and personal sadness, too. Let's be honest with ourselves... we are human, we are going to age.. so let's be healthy. Let's be happy in our skin. I'm in my 60s, and I love my homo life... it's not perfect, I have a lot of miles on the clock, but it's still mine to make the most of.

[@williambender6711]

Wait till you are in your 50's and you wake up going, 'what did I do' When said body part hurts...

[@Thorn99855]

Walk if it makes you feel good Joel. It's good to feel some negative once in a while. Just don't dwell there. Don't sit in it. Alternatively, find your passions and explore and you will feel those highs. Yeah. That's all I wanted to say. Feel the occasional negative thing, just don't stay there.

[@Pk-wu9tl]

How do you stop ruminating

[@Thorn99855]

@@Pk-wu9tl Distract yourself with something else. Get on with life. If your thoughts interrupt you, just focus back upon what you are actually intending to focus upon. Hopefully that helps.

[@paean109]

Oh hell, I am 62, but I still feel like I am in my 30's. I don't feel old at all, plus I am told most people think I am in my mid 40's. I can remember when my grandparents were my age, and they looked so old. I wonder why that was. Watching from Canada.

[@jeffhampton2767]

You sound like you might be delusional or in denial

[@jeffhampton2767]

I met this guy years ago who kept going on about how great he looked, and he looked so young and he feels so young and everybody tells him that he looks so great, and I'm looking at him and I'm thinking he looks like he's around 65 years old and I said why how old are you, and he said he was 48 years old and I laughed and I said you look like you're in your 60s. When my father was in his 60s back many years ago he thought that he was a stud, and I had to keep reminding him that he was an old man.

[@MrPk266]

I'll turn 40 next year November. In my mind, I feel like I'm still 26... but when I look in the mirror, I can see I'm not anymore. Hahaha!

[@jeffhampton2767]

You just think you feel like you're 26. Can you climb a tree to the very top can you walk for a many hours. Can you do physical labor for at least 12 to 14 hours a day how long can you hold your breath underwater

[@Mintgumery]

I’m 17 and my knees are already ruined by rugby lol

[@dubon9999]

Happy Pride Month Gays 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠 I wish the best for all Gays and always remember that you Gays are special and awesome 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠 God bless you all Gays 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️

[@FindAReason-mi7go]

What is wrong with adult entertainment, if the performers are well treated? If men don't get relief then often they don't function well. Having relief they often can then concentrate on other things. I hate to make men sound like lab mice, but men generally need relief or negative things like mental illness, aggression, procrastination can result. Also studies show that men who climax over five (I think it was 5) times per week have a lower risk of prostate cancer... A psychologist told me recently that he has patients who watch porn for up to six hours a day without being able to climax. That is a problem. But that is a psychological issue not one related to the common purpose of porn.

[@terryleheffner5203]

Love the Jean-Michel Basquiat

[@jeffhampton2767]

I'm 64 years old and I met a lot of gay men on drugs through the years, in many cases they are on drugs because they can't deal with being gay, and then in some cases they are on drugs because they just like the feeling of being high.

[@Ken-bj9uy]

Am 73. Single for years. IMHO gay guys are obsessed with young men(20's and maybe 30's). I can't complain about it because I am too. I don't chase young guys. You need to be rich to do that . The guy with the crown on his shirt, is a dream guy-smart, butch and handsome. I am sure many of us would be very happy with him. Oh well

[@FEEBO2025]

62 and living my best life in every way. 🕺💖🏋😜

[@henrym7198]

The shoulder can be attributed to a sleeping position/habit. I thought I had aging issues and it was me sleeping over my arm up?

[@kuransays]

I just turned 38 and still only halfway believe it lol 😅

[@dubon9999]

The best friend of a Gay man is another Gay man ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 Gay men of all the world together forever 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌎🌍🌏🌎🌍🌏

[@wichertvangelder1197]

Love you Guys ❤❤❤❤❤

[@todd755]

Keegan, beware a frozen shoulder! You don't want to do that rehab

[@paulhilder1309]

65 but although I would love a younger hot body who doesn’t! I would say I have never been happier, confident in my self and living my best life. Getting older is inevitable so be your best self 😍

[@gs-nr4om]

The most handsome men on the internet!

[@Preppie-thirty]

Great subject, shame, lonliness, self sabotage is unhealthy, look after your body and mental health from a young age. Reach out to a therapist, make healthy relationships/friendships.

[@frankgyure3154]

Why so negative. June is usually seen as Pride Month. I suggest the next video is how great it is to be Gay. Time to be honest with ourselves. That is a good thing. Thank you.

[@jeffhampton2767]

It is not great to be gay and most gay men that I know are very unhappy being gay