Single For A Year ⎮12 Lessons I Learned

[@daniellestephan3109]

The lesson I'm learning in my single season: Stop waiting to pursue your purpose for when you're in a relationship. Step into your calling now. I think sometimes I fantasize about doing ministry with my husband and how beautiful the journey will be together, but I can't get so caught up in that! God wants to empower me right here, right now! I am able to do this, in my own strength!

[@theonegrateful-leper]

Been single for like 3 years now and I agree sometime it's not easy. But waiting in God it's worth the wait. Congratulations Kian

[@CrocaHead]

Hold my beer…

[@Scalia-ig6qz]

I passed on two women in the 99th percentile of attractiveness that in retrospect turned out to be solid wives for their cheating husbands...lol! f you are a girl holding out for the right guy...then you are already on your way to success!! You have to remember 90 plus percent of women have never been single longer then a couple weeks.

[@valerielinares2068]

To answer you who asked about our experiences, I'm WAYY on the other side of the spectrum. I'm 37 years old and never been in a relationship. Still a virgin. However, that's because for a long time I never wanted to get married - like ever. In my mind, I would have been perfectly content being single for the rest of my life. This is because I struggled with intimacy issues. I was afraid of allowing myself get that close to anyone because of issues I dealt with in childhood. I didn't have a good example of what a healthy marriage looked like. In fact, there was a lot of verbal abuse in my younger childhood years. And I think that as I got older, I subconsciously thought, "if this is what marriage is like, I want nothing to do with it." Even in high school, I sabotaged any chance of a romantic relationship. I would only let my closest friends get so close before I pushed them away as well. As a child and into my young adult years, I used verbal abuse as a weapon to keep/push people away. It's true what they say, "hurt people, hurt people." It got to a point where the very word, "marriage" made me cringe. However, around 2003, I made the decision to find out who God really was. In fact, as a young child, my dad had always taught my siblings and I about God. So, I always knew He was real. But, when I was in my early twenties, I directly asked God, "God, I know you're real. But, I'm realizing I don't really know you very well. So, I'd like to get to know you better." Not too long after, He introduced me to the Christian club on the college campus I was going to at the time. I began to get plugged into that group. Met some good friends, and God began to heal me from all the built up hurt, pain, and anger that plagued my childhood. It took a long time for me to get to a point that I was more welcoming to marriage. It took a LONG time... at least 10 years. Eventually, God did heal me to the point that all those inner demons of hurt and pain were left in the past as a faded memory. Praise GOD!! And now I'm at the point where I believe if it is God's will for me to marry, He will bring the right person, under the right circumstances, in His perfect timing. I've decided to leave the selection of my husband up to Him, since I know He knows me better than I know myself. I trust Him and I know He's got this. This is just a small blip into this experience. However, what I have learned though it is to trust God and His timing and His ways. To anyone who's reading this, if you're dealing with pain from your past, trust God to heal it. He will if you surrender it to Him. I understand that it can be hard and scary to let go of that pain when you don't know what's on the other side. But trust Him. He loves you and wants to heal you. Surrender to Him all your issues, and He can heal you and help you get through it. I CANNOT emphasize it enough: Trust Him.

[@gettingbetter239]

❤️

[@johanna-7817]

Thank you ❤️

[@mich4348]

Thank you for writing this comment. You have no idea how it helped me.

[@calvinriver9834]

This hit home for me. Intimacy Issues. Trust issues. Don't allow anyone in. I can truly relate

[@ederia]

Wow, thanks for sharing Valerie!! I related to a Lot of what you said!! I'm so happy things are better for you now.

[@callmelady9871]

I am intentionally single for almost 1 year now and my ultimate goal before opening up again for a relationship is that; i want to feel whole again and be comfortable alone with Jesus in my life. I wanna learn to love myself again before loving someone else.

[@cherishchi7958]

Been binge watching for the past few hours. I'm am SOOOO glad you documented your single season because that is where I am right now. You have been honest and raw and I appreciate it! I've learned so much and have an increased desire to set my heart on Jesus.

[@sarahfentress332]

Watching this back and I smiled SO BIG when you revealed Kyle. Love you guys! This is such good advice.

[@valerielinares2068]

Having a list can be a good thing. But, we should use the strategy wisely. To be more clear, before a believer even thinks about making a list, they should pray before the pen hits the page. In our flesh, we might unintentionally (or intentionally) have a list that are all or mostly superficial things. So, be sure to pray over your list to be sure it aligns with God's desires. He knows you better than you know yourself. So asking Him to help you make a list would make for a list better than you could make for yourself.

[@harleighstringer]

you accidentally said "single of seasonness" and it killed me 😂😂😂 sorry kian lol

[@m.rabang1144]

Love this video and your honesty~ just broke up with a man 3 months ago and God is showing me how it really won't work without Him in the center of the relationship. It's true, singleness has so much in it when we let God direct and lead our steps. May the Lord continue to bless you and your relationship with Kyle!

[@risadaley655]

I still feel like there is more that I need to learn, especially when you brought up the point about trying to become the person that you are looking for. And until I feel whole then I probably don't want to be in a relationship yet.

[@chanescholtemeyer3782]

Kian you have helped me so much to finally enter into a season of singleness and surrender it all to God

[@ginaallen8866]

Inviting God into my singleness has been a key change ; in btwn relationships I think I just used to be "wait" if that makes sense lol and yes I want a future video with Kyle lol

[@Kian_Wolfgang]

Gina Allen yes exactly! It was always just a waiting period instead of a WORKING period

[@ashlynquintero8330]

It brings me so much clarity and happiness to watch you talk about this stuff! As well as your relationship with god, being recently single as of two weeks. It almost feels like I can’t do this, and I still feel a need to be with a person that doesn’t have my best interest, cheats, lies, doesn’t respect me! My life with this person was like riding a roller coaster! Really low points and really high points. No level ground. Hearing your words are so inspiring, I have a long way to go.

[@heidiwicks5511]

So happy for you Kian!!!! It has been so cool to watch you grow over the past year and I’m so happy that God has blessed you with an amazing Godly boyfriend!!! I love watching your videos and getting advice from you ❤️

[@Kian_Wolfgang]

Heidi Wicks Aw thank you so much! I appreciate your support and sweet words 💛

[@annie5593]

Going through a breakup after 5 years and I am so glad I went back and watched this video. Im identifying with so much. Especially God calling me out of it. I was having a hard time tonight with memories and loneliness but I needed the reminder that this really is the Lords will for us both. Thanks Kian ❤️

[@spicygingercat]

Always love hearing your perspective Kian 🙏🏻 Thank you for this video, and congratulations on your relationship! Can’t wait to see what wisdom you will share during your next season of life!

[@Kian_Wolfgang]

Caycia Banks thank you so much 😊

[@silvanavalderrama]

Not even 2 minutes into the video and God is already speaking to me haha thank you sooo much

[@johanna-7817]

🥰

[@ariannamansaray3011]

I’m finding this video after a year and a couple of days being single and all of this is so true or I didn’t even realize I came across the same lessons

[@nathantorres1479]

I’m 23 and I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’ve grown to be satisfied dating myself!! Haha

[@oldfashiondolls]

I had a list as well with character traits I wanted in a future husband. I had someone advise me to lower my standards on the list too. I remember realizing that this friend (who I love dearly) did not necessarily have the type of marriage/husband I desired. I am very glad I kept to my standards! God really blessed me with a great guy! He wasn’t necessarily the type of man I thought I’d marry (he is an engineer, and I am very artsy) but he has the heart and character I always prayed for in a man!

[@jessicagarcia8099]

These videos are so beautifully amazing and deeply impactful. Thank you so so much for taking the time to film and edit and and share this video.

[@beautiwoods]

I'm new to your channel and I stumbled across this video.. it was exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you for reassuring me that being single and lonely is okay and reminding me to redirect all that stress and concern to God. Thank you, thank you, thank you! xo

[@briannajackson4326]

So Blessed by this. Near the end that dog had me laughing tho! 😂 probably was saying “Gurl Ik you wanna tell them about your boyfriend...but what about yr first love over here?” 😂😂😂

[@toastyy4]

Thank you for sharing. This has definitely brought me hope and wisdom. It also highlights again the reason for this singleness season that God has brought to my life. Congratulations and I love hearing about your personal love story. I am a die hard romantic and I am rooting for you my spiritual sister!! ❤️

[@sydneysmith2545]

I remember watching one of your videos being with an unbeliever years ago whilst in that relationship and wanting to end it but was not ready. Now here I am 10 months single and happier than ever 😊 having some 1:1 time with Jesus has been the biggest gift I could ever receive

[@Estiexo]

so glad you're back! can't wait to watch

[@GBABenzo]

1 year for me, hard sometimes, but the spare time for myself is great

[@jemimaawesomebieber]

Thank you for giving me so much hope xx

[@Kian_Wolfgang]

Louisa David all glory to God!

[@Ash-nh2pq]

This is so 👏 freaking 👏 inspiring 👏!!! Thank you sm for being vulnerable, open and strong in God!!:) much needed inspiration and motivation from your channel to further my walk in faith with my head held high.

[@michaelakiener7694]

I’m soo glad for these diaries!

[@MayaRoseXO]

Thank you Kian ❤️. You’ve helped me so much !

[@andreamorrin6799]

Your videos are amazing and are helping me so much! I really appreciate you! God bless ❤️❤️

[@erickcordero7015]

Even though I'm a little jealous I'm still happy for you, you and your videos have been a blessing and inspiring. God is always great and for us not against us, you're a testimony that God answer prayers. God bless you and your new relationship.

[@DOL3rd]

I'm 29, have been single since 24, at which the relationship only lasted 1 month. And before that, I was single since 17. I want a healthy relationship but I'm afraid of trusting someone that deeply. Not discounting your struggles but I would gladly switch places with you if it only takes you one year to find intimacy. Disorganized attachment sucks

[@charyse1361]

I'm starting my man fast today! God put it on my heart to do this fast for a year, and praise him for it. This video was so helpful Kian!! Love from Phoenix 🌵🌵🌵🌵

[@Aya-nx4gv]

Same

[@kcitylights9947]

Hey Hun, how's your year going?

[@charyse1361]

@@kcitylights9947 it hasn't been without struggle, but I've really seen what God can do by being in such isolation and only having him as a focus.

[@cocoachanie]

I’ve had two guys I dated tell me that I was “looking for perfection” when I expressed that I was looking for a Godly man, and stated some of my core standards Lol of course both relationships ended but now that I’m watching this video I’m strengthened in knowing that I made the right decisions to let these guys go

[@lemonlime218]

I just went on a date last week where I expressed the same thing and the guy was a Christian but asked “you’re a perfectionist aren’t you?” I know people aren’t perfect but I want someone at least striving to be their best!

[@cocoachanie]

@@lemonlime218 I feel you!

[@user-vt6ob4ux4s]

Congrats and wishing you a fruitful and holy spirit led courtship with Kyle 👍❤

[@Kian_Wolfgang]

Audura Adams thank you so much

[@Isaac_El_Khoury]

Beautiful video. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Best wishes for you and your new relationship. Hopefully it becomes a culmination of all that you've learned and sought after. God bless.

[@janice3419]

I just want to say THANK YOU for posting this video and being so vulnerable ... this is so timely for me and it’s another confirmation for me as to why i need to end a relationship I’m in rn and have been putting off. This was really helpful and encouraging... it’s not gonna be easy, but I know God has bigger and better things! I love your videos, keep following Jesus!

[@SarahAgapi]

Amen this video is so encouraging. Thank you for posting these singleness diaries. This is helping me in my season of singleness and it's great that you are now in a godly relationship and were able to grow in your singleness and develop qualities in order to be ready for it. During this season God to teaching me to develop qualities of a godly wife, becoming more confident, learn to hear God's voice and grow in prayer and reading in the word, learning how to cook, and learning how to influence others as a leader at my church, and being a light to those around me and spreading the gospel.

[@preciousmatlapeng9497]

In November I'll be single for a year. I'll also be turning 20 years old

[@anastasiyarakova8517]

I'm at that point where I am giving it up to God. I dont even know if I want to get married. But I know I've been lonely for a long time too.. Time to reorganize myself

[@passipas4570]

😍❤❤much love, I love how the lord is working on & with you and I learned so many godly things from you. Glory be to God, who is making beauty from ashes. Love❤💕

[@juliannagallo4136]

Such a great video!! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and giving such great advice! So happy for you

[@montea5390]

I learned the same things as you but I'm a guy lf a women . God will work on our hearts and create the perfect scenario and bring the right person .

[@layalmajid8981]

You have to recognize when there are zero common values from the beginning and avoid that person regardless. Having common values is the most important thing ever. IF there are zero common values you shouldn't get into it to begin with.

[@DeniSoars]

24 and single all my life haha #teamsingleasapringle lol God is good :)

[@amelieheimann195]

Love this video!! ❤️

[@stephaniemunoz1200]

This was eye opening 💓🙏

[@loveazlen]

this is my first video that i watched from you !!! very thankful for this ! God bless you :)

[@jessicalemequezani7229]

Hi Kian! Thank you for sharing those lessons with us. I have been struggling with some things in my life (not singleness) and some of the lessons you shared are the answer or a way to find the answer.

[@katarinagreer]

so good!! thank you for sharing ❤️❤️❤️

[@FallenAngel-dy9py]

It's been a year today since me and my 2 year boyfriend broke up. Ouch my heart

[@kopiseaf.5835]

Me too

[@Andrewjc222]

Hope you find someone that brings you every happiness

[@yasmined16]

Been single for almost 2 years and for once in my life i feel good to be single if it comes on the way i will let him in but for know i focus on myself im 21 almost 22 😄😄❤❤

[@simplyasha4318]

You are precious🌷amazing video🦋

[@NowBloom]

love your videos thanks for sharing love :) bless you

[@annikaminina7670]

I'm so glad for you🙌🙌

[@tamiaclasablanca]

Just began my single season like 3 weeks go. 49 more to go but, your video was very helpful.. i will have no romantic/physical connection with anyone until im sure. theyre not even gonna get a kiss out of me lmao lucky if a hug.

[@katarinagreer]

How do you know if God has called you to singleness?

[@TheSunshinefee]

single for 2 decades, not by choice but i make the best of it

[@giannaardelean3706]

I’ve been single of 16 years

[@jacobwoods6153]

Word lol

[@beadydani]

At the risk of making it competitive, I have been single for a lot longer - nearly 3 decades. I'm not ashamed of it cos I have seen friends who have been divorced more than once or been in abusive or unhappy marriages. I will rather be a happy singleton than be in a marriage prison! I love and embrace my singles, I still believe God has a husband for me and I will continue to wait and trust him no matter what age that is. I guess what I'm saying is not to be so bugged down with being single, just enjoy your life and serve others while waiting. I pray your Prince will come along in God's own time.

[@zumbawithsamanta9192]

Sade is the cutest!!

[@noeldsouza4267]

I've been single all my life,never even been with anyone, I'm fu### 44

[@kimcolvin8805]

Why were you so confident that your singleness was just a period in your life that would come to an end? I don’t believe that God has given me the gift of singleness, but I don’t feel that I’m ever going to get to be married. I want to get married but as time goes on, the odds are pretty bad as I’m 47.

[@ZhaiiYou]

Faith babe and talking to God about it

[@PauSuarezGomis]

How do you know someone isn’t your future just by looking at them?

[@LucianHodoboc]

How many lessons should I have learned from three decades of singleness? I only discern two at the present time: life is unpleasant, and I don't understand God.

[@nadiapapadopoulou3924]

Relationship should not be a goal, if it comes good if not then that’s okay too. The minute u start to lust for a human relationship over having one with the One who created you and died for u in order to have a relationship with you, of course u won’t feel satisfied. Seek The kingdom of God first and all those things will be added on🙌🏻

[@jacobwoods6153]

I hear you. I havent been single that long (about 8 years) but I get the feelings... I'd just encourage you to not put expectations on God because it only adds to the suffering that you're already going through.

[@ReginaFortune]

Life is so very beautiful. We have to be content in whatever situation we find ourselves in. Paul found beauty in singleness, prison, being beaten and ridiculed. Yes it may not be what you have chosen but finding beauty in your life circumstances will be a constant battle but it’s so worth it 💛

[@Kian_Wolfgang]

Lucian Hodoboc sometimes we need to ask God to use us for His purpose instead of trying to use God for our purposes 💛 seek Him and ask these questions. He will reveal Himself to you ☺️

[@rosleenp]

Whenever people are brutally honest about their singleness, I find Christian's always want to chime in with some discouraging "word". Sometimes you are doing all the right things and you still don't get your heart's desire. I think as she goes Christian's you have to be wise as well. Sometimes you finding a spouse may not work out like some or Christian's story of how them met their spouse. Just date, date according to godly principles. I do t believe in thos waiting on God to send a spouse anymore. I believe in datjng until you find a spouse.

[@apurvtigga8276]

I have Been single for 6 years and still counting 😄

[@alansun70]

It can feel isolating. I feel like I'll get more of the benefits with I were best friends with a group of women.

[@PauletteIvory]

Bravo!!!

[@virginiawanjiru6499]

You're so beautiful

[@infinitylovewords9016]

7×365......single😢😢

[@ljp9402]

kian, can you please pray the Lord give me hair like yours? xD thank you

[@johnnymarlin819]

I'm are hot Scorpio for you always !!

[@Anthony-yy3kc]

Gee one year single! Try 63 years!

[@princesseyesopen]

I disagree with your opinion on dating or kissing anyone other than your future spouse (who you have not met yet) . Date, explore and use the experiences to grow. You never know you’ll marry so take risks and use it to learn more about people and yourself! But be smart !

[@risadaley655]

Did you use to watch a bunch of romantic movies lol

[@nokkamies4988]

It must've been easy for you, knowing that you can just get any guy whenever you want to be your boyfriend

[@leaholstein672]

It’s not easy, it just comes with other struggles and other temptations, I’ve been in the same place and at times it’s hard because guys can sometimes not accept the answer no, or you find it difficult to say no to someone because of what saying no might do to the relationship or if he may talk about you in a way you don’t appreciate. Having guys attracted to you comes with lots of regret because at times u want that attention so u do the most to get that attention. There’s a lot of regret. Being beautiful is hard too because you don’t know who truly sees a future with you or who just wants you around for attention, or sex, or who knows what else. Every situation has their struggle and I hope and pray for everyone that they get through them. Whatever struggles you endure, I hope you get through them and are blessed with a beautiful spouse in the future ❤️ (Also I know some of this may sound ridiculous but there are many struggles everyone has)

[@nokkamies4988]

@@leaholstein672 That is actually true, EVERYTHING comes with its own struggles and problems

[@beadydani]

Thanks for the tips, but from the pictures you showed of you and your boyfriend it looks like you too are sleeping together. Sorry but I just had to say it as I am trying to advice my nieces thr importance of absenteeism. You are on the same age bracket and was hoping to share videos to reflect this, I can't share this cos they will question why you and your boyfriend are behaving like husband and wife when you are clearly not. Apologies its just my opinion, maybe its cos I'm over 50 and still single myself!

[@followmemove]

It is so sweet. Because before you really told it and showed the picture you already said it at 15:09 but so sweet :P