Sister-In-Law ACCUSING Me Of DESTROYING Her Marriage & Family After Tattling On Her r/Relationships

[@insane_cookie]

Story 1 actually has an update. She was neglecting her 2 year old daughter. She left her HOME ALONE multiple times. He was sick & tired of her bullshit & he is trying to get sole custody for his daughter.

[@jusminejustice2794]

Not surprising judging that she was about to leave Op sitting there alone and in pain after surgery when she goes swimming in a pool. What a terrible mother.

[@ajzephyros7454]

Can you provide a link for that

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

I’d also love to see the update post if you have time to share the link!

[@warrom3443]

@@ajzephyros7454 the poster is on here, toyrus kid. And provided the update. It is under the adefinitelyarealperson post.

[@kateemma22]

I hope he gets it more than I hope for anything else in the world. I REALLY like OP's brother just from what little I know and I bet he's gonna be a brilliant single dad.

[@SutapaBhattacharyaKolkata]

Story 1 does have an update. Apparently SILonce left her infant daughter home alone and went to run some errands. The brother came home and found that she had forgotten to lock the front door. There are similar instances of irresponsibility from the SIL and OP's pool incident was the straw that broke the camel's back.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

THANK YOU!! I was dying of curiosity! Now we just need an update on Story 2 WHY DID OP THINK AN OSCILLATING FAN IS THE BEST PRESENT YOU COULD POSSIBLY GIVE SOMEONE??!!! WHY‼️??

[@truthseeker9249]

F*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck f*ck. I hope brother has all of that somehow recorded so he has the evidence he needs to get custody of their daughter.

[@delilahbelle2125]

@@WhitneyDahlin if I had to guess, I'd say maybe the brother/uncle might be prone to jokes and overdramatics, so OP didn't actually think an oscillating fan was "the best gift ever" but thought his brother might buy the son something for his dorm room (if he's going to college) and the fan would be something useful but silly and bring laughter, making a good story about the time his uncle gave him "the best gift ever."

[@Merryfrances]

Holy moly!!! 😮

[@WhitneyDahlin]

@@delilahbelle2125 that makes sense if that is what it is. But it just seems so oddly specific! There are a thousand other useful things he could buy for the dorm room. Ugh this mystery will haunt me until I have an answer from OP! I mean oscillating fans are absolutely fantastic I can't sleep without one but I wouldn't buy one as a present for someone?

[@clairebear-96]

Story 3 YTA “I assured I would cover her” after the gf was hesitant bc of her money situation, and then he doesn’t cover her…. and straight up tells her he’ll always choose his mum over her. HUGE mummy’s boy and i hope the poor girlfriend gets out of there and finds someone who actually chooses her

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Me too. She deserves better. And OP needs to cut the umbilical cord from his mommy if he ever wants to have a woman in his life and if he can't cut the umbilical cord, he doesn't need to be in anymore relationships.

[@lindah3803]

Story 4: Pissed me off. OP should have told hubby at the dinner, You will get 1/2 of my inheritance when you pay the $7,000 for my brothers surgery and bring him back to life. Then OP should get divorce papers and drop them off at his parents house. I wonder if hubby had told his family about denying help for OPs brother. I love that his new truck was stolen.

[@Tijggie82]

I would have divorced him when my brother died.

[@ginndjuice]

The new truck being stolen was the cherry on top . Shame of a human to be married to. Hopefully divorce looks good on her

[@johnpartrick9030]

I think the husband was an a**hole, but don't understand how the mother had $40,000 to leave the daughter but didn't have the 7 grand they were short for the sons surgery.

[@fate_clotho9596]

@Gin Karma's a bitch!😂😂😂

[@afsanachowdhury4979]

Love the response 7k ans bring my bro back

[@anikanele7958]

My guess for the "other things" in story 1 is that Bri is equally irresponsible with her child. That woman is dragging OP along just to save like half an hour that it would have taken to drive OP home before going to the pool.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

Agreed. Abandoning OP at the pool. Seems like similar logic to leaving a baby at home while she goes out to meet friends.

[@sylvanaboldt1077]

She couldn't just leave her at home either and go back to the pool. After surgery you need someone to monitor you.

[@seankeller1560]

Yea this was on the clock app. She left the 2 yr old alone while she went to the drug store about a twenty minute walk away and didn't even take her phone with her. The brother only found out cause he got home early. Far as I know the brother is paying for a two week stay at a hotel giving her a chance to find a new place to live. The general beliefs is none of her actions where out of malicious intent but simply her being irresponsible. The brother is going for full custody

[@Taizu314]

Yeah. I’d say irresponsible parenting on Bri’s part being one of “the other things” is a safe bet.

[@LunaP1]

Exactly. What was that bitch's plan if something went wrong? Say that OP was at fault for dying at the pool that she dumped her at?! It was a simple task of picking OP up from the hospital and taking her home, nothing else. She's selfish as hell and refuses to take personal responsibility for her actions.

[@MizTameRumors]

Story 4 dude wouldn't even loan his wife half of his money when she needed it for her dying brother, and he thinks he deserves to just get half of hers because he wants it? THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN

[@aurea.]

Ikr. I wouldn't be able to look at him after he pulled that stunt with the brother

[@MrJpaynebb]

Marriage is a 2 way street. The husband did not want to share any of his inheritance. Not 1 thin dime. That's his right to do so but he set the precedent not OP. He made it clear that any inheritance did not need to be shared no matter what the other spouse needs were. This entire situation is his fault.

[@robertx8020]

@@MrJpaynebb But OP didn't ask for a share, she alked for a loan to safe her brother! THAT makes it even worse OP, please leave that POS

[@bludgeonedfate708]

How did she not divorce him when he wouldn't give her 7k for her brother?!?! How???????

[@bludgeonedfate708]

Makes me think this story is fake

[@drimwalkr8923]

The last OP should have responded with "When my brother goes for surgery." It's the husband's fault their brother is dead, and he needs to be reminded every time he asks about the inheritance

[@meganb.higgins973]

Everyone is joking about the oscillating fan, but I went to a child's birthday party recently Where the fan he unwrapped was the biggest hit! You would have thought his parents bought him a bike lol

[@carolroberts4614]

Kids are different though! I bought my grandson s Power Rangers chair when he was small. It came in such a big box, that he spent the whole of his birthday in the box! He had a grand time.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

@@carolroberts4614 yeah I agree! I doubt an adult would get excited about an oscillating fan lol. I mean don't get me wrong oscillating fans are great I can't sleep without one but they're only like 20 bucks so I don't know why he wouldn't just buy one for himself if he really wanted one for his dorm room? It just seems like such a weird present to give someone. It would never have even occurred to me to buy someone an oscillating fan as a present!

[@dagnytheartist]

@@carolroberts4614 That's a great story :D

[@carolroberts4614]

dagnytheartist I am hoping for a sequel to that one! The grandson in the story is nearly 30, and has a toddler. He'll be nearly 2 at Christmas, so I will be looking for a present in a large box for him. Sometimes I send him little gifts randomly though amazon, as I don't see him much, but not big box stuff!

[@carolroberts4614]

Whitney dahlin, it makes me wonder why he and the mother aren't together! Do you think he got her a vacuum cleaner for her birthday?

[@zachf748]

Story #4 The husband is beyond despicable. His actions are unforgivable.

[@cm06c]

Thank goodness they don’t have any kids.

[@jedimasters1462]

When he asked when she was going to move the money, op should have said "When you bring my brother back from the dead." Watch his embarrassment then when he has to explain to his family that he wouldn't even lend her $7k to save her brother's life, yet is expecting her to just give him half of her money or even all of it, because you know he already has it all spent in his mind.

[@Knives7777]

why in fucks name is she still married to this man?? holy shit what is wrong with her? why would u even be with a man after he treats you so callously?

[@delmarhi]

@@jedimasters1462 I would have demanded his brother be sacrificed then and there if he wanted the money. Got to really drive the point across to all of them.

[@owl7072]

Story 3: You go on this trip every year, you should have money put aside for it, this wasn't some last minute decision. She specifically said she didn't want to go on the trip because she _knew_ she couldn't afford it. You invited her anyway and said you've got her covered. And then you turned around and spent pretty much everything you had on your mother and hardly did anything for her and if you did it was the cheapest option. .... And you're mad at her for being upset?

[@TsukiKageTora]

He let her go hungry and thinks she should be grateful for it. Hope reality slaps him hard when he realizes his mom and his relationship with her is why he is still single at 60 years old.

[@Davtwan]

Not to mention he had _two other siblings_ he could have asked for help before the trip. This man cannot see or think past his nose.

[@zebnemma]

As someone that has been poor for a long time due to not having a job(severe depression) I've had to turn down many trips that I couldn't afford. If someone says "hey, I'll cover your expenses don't worry about it" then that's fine. That asshole pretty much lied to his gf and in the process humiliated her for not having enough money by getting her on that trip under false pretences and he even starved her at some points during the trip. OMG what a humongous asshole. It's embarassing as it is to have to say "I'm poor, I'm sorry I can't go" but he really put the spotlight on her financial situation extra hard when he fed his mom and let her starve cuz she didn't have the money... What a jackoff, hope he stays single forever.

[@robertx8020]

I can only hope she dumped his ass

[@nobleman082]

@@Davtwan More like his mother's nose.

[@carolroberts4614]

Poor first Op! abandoned at the pool, screeched at by Sil, and then made to feel it's her fault they're divorcing! I am glad she was validated in the comments.

[@carolroberts4614]

Thanks to Op 2 for a gift idea for my birthday in 2 weeks. My partner asks me and I can never think of anything! I need an Oscllating Fan!!

[@jusminejustice2794]

@@carolroberts4614 😂😂

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@carolroberts4614 Yeah poor OP......... It's a good thing she has a wonderful brother and sister in law is getting what she deserves.

[@enjolireyes643]

Story 4- should have put him on blast in front of his family “Remember when I asked to borrow 7k to help my brother out with a potentially life saving surgery? Remember I stated we could make a written agreement to me paying back that 7k over time or however you felt it needed to be paid back? What did you offer me honey? Remember that amount you offered and you will know how much you will receive from me! *Then finish eating. Throw the dishes in the sink. Go pack a suitcase and leave while his family is still there* “Please ask your son/ brother how much he lent me? And how much money he will get from me and please record him and send me the recording….him if he tells you the whole truth…I will be back home tomorrow morning… Good night or maybe longer if he isn’t truthful!”

[@NamineLovedTheDream]

On the last story, I ran into something similar with my husband. This year, we both lost someone: his grandmother and my uncle. While there was no inheritance on his end, I found out my uncle (who had no partner or children) had a life insurance policy that was split between me and my sister. When I told my husband, he started rattling off plans and I started to get uncomfortable. Later, we talked about it and I explained my point of view - about how many stories I had heard about inheritances tearing relationships apart. He paused, agreed, and apologized. He reassured me that it was my money and he had no right to it unless I gave some willingly. I told him some of my plans for my share (including a charity donation and adding to our son's future fund set up by my late great grandmother), and he hasn't brought it up since our talk. This is how it should work.

[@dimertri]

Story 3: Dude is 25. TWENTY FIVE. He made a follow up post after getting roasted alive in AITA about realizing he was raised wrong, but it got deleted pretty quickly. Dude sounds like a Nice Guy/Incel in the making.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

Story 1: Ah yes. The old “my actions weren’t to blame, my actions coming to light were”. Like what was her plan, abandon her at the pool table because it’s a sort of public place and then hope things are fine? Like she passed out, so she was right that she couldn’t stay there. And also, the brother said that there is other stuff. My guess it’s something along the line of leaving the baby at home while she does something. Story 2: It’s the son’s body. His choice. There probably isn’t anything wrong with the nose, it’s just insecurities, but if the son will be happier with a nose job, then let him. And it does sound like he’s wanted this for some time. Story 4: 😨… how is OP still with him…

[@toysruskid5074]

UPDATE: AITA for ruining my brother's marriage because his wife left me at the pool? first, thank you to everyone who read the original post and reassured me. It helped a lot and I understand now that my bros marriage was rocky before bri pulled the stunt in my original post. I'm not good at Reddit (usually just silently read posts) and my update kept getting deleted on the AITA sub but a ton of folks asked for it, so here it is: I called my bro to check on things, thank him again and see how he and my niece were doing and he told me some things about bri and why hes divorcing her. i don't think she's cheated on him or anything like a lot of people in the original post thought, at least my bro never said anything about that, but yall were right about the incident with me being the straw that broke the camels back and that I'm not the only victim of bri being careless. a while back I guess my bro came home early from work and found my niece (2yo) alone in their house with the front door unlocked. he called bri 3 or 4 times with no answer and she came in the front door right before he was about to call the cops. Apparently she went to the convenience store like a 5 minute drive from their place and left my niece by herself. When my brother yelled at her she said it was fine because nothing bad happened, and when he said the door was unlocked she just said she mustve forgot and that it wasn't a big deal. Her phone was silenced on the charger in their bedroom which is why she didn't answer when he called. Bri called him dramatic and told him to stop telling her how to parent and that niece was fine for 20 minutes while she shopped for dinner stuff. My bro is taking some time off work to take careof my niece because he kicked bri out of their house the same day I had my surgery. she is staying at a hotel that bro is paying for and he gave her two weeks (more like one and a half now) to find a place before he quits paying for it. He says he's going for full custody because bri is a danger to my niece and doesn’t trust her anymore. she tried to argue when he kicked her out but he threatened to call the police for what she did to me which I guess scared her because she left. Sorry it isn’t a very exciting update but that's all bro would tell me, I think this isn’t the first time bri neglected niece too but he said he's doing what it takes to make sure it doesn’t happen again. He also said he doesn’t think that bri is completely malicious but is extremely careless and doesn’t believe her actions affect other people which is why she cant be trusted not to hurt others by being selfish. I'm doing well after my surgery even after everything that happened so thank you all for the good wishes and advice! I've gotten a lot of messages and sweet words and it's a little too overwhelming to respond to all of them but it still makes me feel a lot better about everything. so thank you again.

[@definitelyarealperson248]

@@toysruskid5074 that’s good to hear. Although if Bri is a SAHM, then she might be able to squeeze some custody from a biased judge. Hopefully your brother gets enough evidence to keep your niece safe.

[@carolroberts4614]

Thanks for letting us know, and glad you're doing ok! Bri sounds like a real piece of work, and your niece will be much safer away from her! All the best.

[@toysruskid5074]

@@carolroberts4614 not mine. Sorry. Just found the update.

[@carolroberts4614]

Whoops! Thanks anyway for putting it up!

[@devchekhov7512]

These stories made my blood boil, but for some reason I have the sudden urge to purchase an oscillating fan🤔

[@khaleesireyna731]

Get a rechargeable one and thank me later.

[@ineedhoez]

Cuz your blood is boiling!

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 3 I'd break up with OP over this. He's absolutely TA. I don't think it's a big ask for him to pay for a trip after 2 years, especially after he offered to pay. And he just so boldly said he'll always put his mom first. I would never stay with someone who said that. As I always say. Never be with a mama's boy. It never gets better.

[@MrJpaynebb]

His siblings were there! Why didn't either of them help to cover their mama's expenses? His friend is right and he'll be damn lucky if she doesn't dump him. The entire reason she agreed to go was because OP said he had her back and would cover her expenses.

[@jedimasters1462]

I'm in the ESH area. Sure, he said he would pay, but she's an idiot to not have backup money for any emergencies or unexpected problems.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Some of those replies of his too. He called it “daft” looking back on it. Yeah like making your partner go hungry and forced them to watch you eat food with your mom that’s totally foolish. Like he made it seem not as bad as it was 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Internalgrace]

@@jedimasters1462 I honestly have to agree because there’s a woman it is completely stupid not to take money anywhere with you even if you do trust the person you’re with it stupid no matter what gender you are. Take money with you so you can make sure that you are safe and taken care of.

[@ginathecookie]

@@jedimasters1462 nope she was hesitant, she communicated her concerns and normally a healthy partner would be like It's ok, I'll pay for your food, dw or ah, maybe try for next time then. Which is what OP did (the former), he's the one who assured the gf her concerns would be met He then didn't follow it up It's definitely going to be a lesson she learns from this time, to not trust a lifelong(and/or long term) partner to be responsible enough and to have common sense.. But the gf is not a butt for trusting her partner's word. Would you say the same if OP had cheated? That it's still ESH? It's a similar thing here. OP is a butt and broke her trust and let her starve. He didn't even offer to half his own food (which btw he was eating alongside his mother, got his gf a juice and let her sit there watching them eat. Check Reddit, I think it's in the comments). Naivety is only the butt behaviour for the OP here, not for the gf. Edit: fixed the Lifelong part, I meant long term but both could apply.

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

Oh, god. That last story is just so heartbreaking. To have the entitlement to refuse a LOAN to help save the woman he supposedly loves brother, but demand $20,000 from her for no other reason than superficial greed after the death is just. . . . . I have no words for how disgusting that poor excuse for human is. Op needs to get out from under that selfish, manipulative piece of shit. This man doesn’t love her, he just doesn’t.

[@Buff_Helpy]

Story 4: I didn't even get to the end before I was already asking why they didn't divorce after what the husband did, then he has the nerve to ask her for money after that? Why are you still together?

[@WyntheRogue]

If we're lucky she'll divorce his sorry entitled ass. He seems under that typical selfish mentality of "What's mine is mine,what's yours is mine." Though to answer your question,sometimes it takes a while for some people to realize they're in a toxic relationship especially if the person in question has low self esteem or has paired up with a narcissist who mastered their manipulation tactics. Some dont leave due to sunken cost fallacy or fear of retaliation for leaving,especially if the narcissist in question has alot of social pull. OP def deserves better than this heartless loser.

[@mictheartist7991]

the freaking audacity of that man to pretty much ask her to give him part of her inheritance when he didn't even give a cent to her from his own inheritance. If my husband did that the me I would straight up tell him, the only thing he would be getting from me is divorce papers and leave his butt. I found it very satisfying though that he spent most his money and the fancy new truck he bought got stolen too, call it karmic justice if you will.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The oscillating fan was definitely a shock. What world does OP live in where that's the best gift ever.

[@paden1865able]

One that is extremely hot and air conditioning doesn't exist?

[@drhacknslashzombietimelord6768]

Probably Texas. Those are a definite necessity in Texas. At least during summer.

[@tamitami9275]

Florida here, the temperature is 10 hundred, and the humidity is trying it's hardest to compete, my fan is a box fan. Best gift ever? AC!!!! LMBO keep your oscillating fan!

[@drhacknslashzombietimelord6768]

@@tamitami9275 If the temperature in Florida is 10 hundred, EVERYONE would be dead, since 10 hundred degrees would be 1,000 degrees. Talk about a wake and BAKE.

[@JSainte17]

So that one commenter expected this kid to develop a killer, fun personality that would make people flock to him? When he has TWO parents who think the "greatest high school graduation gift ever" is an oscillating fan?

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3: this goes beyond Mama’s boy and straight into abuse. What person thinks of making a promise of having someone covered on a trip and then starve them by paying for their mom instead and thinks that someone is unreasonable to complain when they basically starved them? He deserves to be dumped and single for the rest of his miserable life. I wish adult umbilical cords were visible so people can see they are attached to their mom as adults and stay clear from them.

[@D-M-K-1-2]

I was literally about to say "Mama's Boy" from the very beginning of the post

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@D-M-K-1-2 but it’s worse, he let his girlfriend starve basically because he put his mom’s wants above her basic needs as a human. He doesn’t see that as wrong and that she had every right to be upset with him. I bet he doubles down in the comment section too. Now I’m curious Imma go look

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@D-M-K-1-2 omg. The guy said that his siblings had partners and kids to pay for and that he thought it was his responsibility to cover someone’s expenses when in need. She DIDNT NEED takeout! girlfriend NEEDED food and he told her “nope, you get juice”.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@D-M-K-1-2 he also said he looked back on that and found it daft of him… for making his girlfriend go hungry and watch his mother and him eat a meal cause mama is first… This guy is a joke

[@dianahernandez-hh6sp]

@@TsukiKageTora so let me get this straight him and his mom were EATING and not just his mom? And let HER STARVED? Wow. Why didn't he have the juice then. 🤨🙄

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I had my bottom wisdom teeth removed when I was 16. It was done just before my sophomore year so I'd have time to recover and despite being very careful, there was a point where I went downstairs to get my daily mashed potatoes (cause you know you can't really eat anything else but that and maybe jello or cottage cheese) and I started feeling dizzy so I tried to go back upstairs but before I could even move 10 feet I got _really_ dizzy, stumbled, and collapsed. My hip collided with part of the couch (open kitchen and living room concept) and made it worse. I was extremely disoriented and my mom was worried sick about me and had to help me go back upstairs. This was when I was at home a few *days* _after_ the surgery. and this person took Op to a _pool,_ the _same day_ as the surgery, where she could have fell and hit her head at best or _drowned_ at worst.

[@ginathecookie]

Nah, it's more than that They're a very easy victim for bad people and whilst most pools are safe, all it takes is isolated, vulnerable enough and a sneaky, shady bad person at the wrong moment and wrong place. Drugged, and in pain, in a haze. Not just the injuries from the pool but they could be mugged/robbed, assaulted, pranked, etc. The Sil is so.. ugh, not smart at all.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Damn, I was put under for getting all four wisdom teeth taken out (was about 19 at the time) and I was quite a bit disoriented the day of, but went back to work the next day with just a little bit of soreness that ibuprofen helped with.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

It's even worse than that. Even if OP never fell, tripped into the pool, got mugged, assaulted, etc, she still could have died from the heat. Opioids increase your susceptibility to the sun and heat. Yes, they'll make you more likely to get serious sunburns, but the true danger lies in that they can cause hyperthermia. They screw with your body's thermoregulation, making you more likely to get heat stroke and dehydration. Add to that, Oxycodone, separate from heat, is also known to cause dehydration in general, but it's amplified more in the heat. SIL leaving OP unattended, on opioids in 90+ degree weather.. That combination alone could have killed OP

[@sfsin3380]

Years ago my Dad wondered off while under the after effects of anesthesia. Sister had brought him home and set him up in the sitting room then gone for a nap before her evening shift. He got up and walked out the front door. Thankfully we found him easily enough but he was missing for over an hour and no one knows what everything he did during that time. Dad can't remember any of it. I mean we know he went to the local car dealer to look at cars for a while because the owner told my sister when she was at work (sister worked in a shop at the time and he was making small talk about having see Dad that day) so thank god he didn't take any for a test dive but that only about 20 minutes for the time he was missing.

[@TiffWaffles]

@@ginathecookie Besides OP was still under the influence of the drugs they used on her. She was more than vulnerable- she was in an outright dangerous situation.

[@nikkiwhray1598]

It seems odd that a family can afford a vacation home on a lake, but 1 missed paycheck means the mother can't afford to eat.

[@carolroberts4614]

It doesn't make sense to me! Out of all the adults,not one had a credit card?

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

Might be inherentance that means too much to sell

[@beingWantable]

Story 3: did he also buy lunch for himself? Wouldn't that be even more awful? Like buying lunch for himself and his mom but just a juice for his girlfriend who also doesn't have any money? Just wondering. He could have managed his money way better

[@carolroberts4614]

He had 2 siblings there as well, but he wanted to be the big I Am, and pay for everything for Mommy Dearest, to prove he was the Good Son!

[@beingWantable]

@@carolroberts4614 so sad, can't imagine being her and being stuck there :( also no one else thought it was bad and helped her...

[@robertx8020]

@@beingWantable TBH ITt might be that only the AH BF and his AH Mom were there at breakfast,, otherwise, yes...they would be AHs too

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@carolroberts4614 Clearly he has no intention to cut the umbilical cord from his momma. So he shouldn't be in anymore relationships ever. Or at the very least until she passes.

[@Flufferz626]

Oscillating fan as a "big gift" I'm dying over here 🤣

[@InuMokuba]

Story 3: YTA As a mom of a little boy I would be devastated if he catered to me over his partner. Yes, a mother is and always will be an important person in their child's life, ideally there shouldn't even be an ultimatum because they are separate relationships and separate needs they meet. But when push comes to shove I see it like this: Your partner(s, if poly) should be the ones that follow you to the grave and will be there for you long after your children leave and your parents pass away. That doesn't erase that parents and children will always be in your heart and will be a priority when circumstances arise. This is why we say partners are first, but when the reverse happens and a partner becomes toxic and tries to dominate over parents, we say that the partner needs to be dumped. Basically it's a stay in your lane type of deal.

[@LB-gz3ke]

I am the mom of two big boys. If I were in a situation where I had to rely on what my husband could provide in the last week before a big trip, I think I would plan better and maybe save up a little of my pocket money during the year for this vacation. Or you know, step in to the 21st century and get a part time job. In any case, if my options were scrape together funds on my own or mooch off of my child, I would stay home.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

So true! These are truly words of wisdom.

[@ineedhoez]

Don't include that poly bs in a life partner conversation. Thise Relationships don't make it beyond a year😂😂😂

[@_Sage967_]

Story 2: it's the son's body, his choice. but, on the flip side OP not only has no obligation to bail son out if the decision goes south but also if the son hates it down the line you have someone you can direct his complaints to. any parental figure in this situation should, if the point of persuasion has been passed, wash their hands of the ordeal. this is a topic that has very clearly fallen outside your field of influence so let them make the choices and deal with the consiquences

[@JDKT002]

Bingo. Sounds like a case of a parent brushing aside their sons body image issues then for some reason acting surprised when the moment they become a legal adult they go do it on their own. Also if son and OP's brother felt the need to 100% do this behind OP's back, then there's a lot more to this. It sounds more like OP was adamantly against this and would have thrown a fit before hand, maybe even resorted to threats to get their way. As someone who's actually been diagnosed with dysphoria over the way my body is, I can say you should never just brush these sorts of issues aside with your kids. It should always be addressed and discussed with a mind set that getting a procedure done may be the right decision, because it would be significantly more serious than "teenage insecurity" psychologically speaking.

[@quinhoprimeiro1049]

@@JDKT002 He didn't have breathing problems, He didn't have any bone or muscular pain because of the state of his nose IT WAS JUST COSMETIC, his body would still be in development until he is aproximately 21/22 years old, NO COSMETIC SURGERY IS ADVISED UNTIL AFTER THAT AGE.

[@teacheschem]

Sounds like the son is still living in his parents house under his parents rules and should give some thought to that or perhaps move in with same uncle. This was elective surgery. He didn’t have to have it at 18 and his uncle should have encouraged a conversation rather than a flouting of rules.

[@JDKT002]

@@quinhoprimeiro1049 you are measurably, provably wrong. According to WebMD "The nose has usually finished growing by age 15 or 16 in girls, and age 16 or 17 in boys." Your entire comment reeks of unsubstantial, uneducated biases based on personal moral and social ideals, not actual science.

[@JDKT002]

@@teacheschem If they felt the need to hide it for over a week, there's probably a good reason. It's highly likely that a "conversation" with a parent like this would go nowhere. If he still lives with his parents he should consider them only as far as his own living situation, nothing more. Telling your 18 year old they aren't allowed bodily autonomy isn't a rule as you put it. It's controlling behavior. The kid didn't NEED to get it done now, he also doesn't NEED to have it done at 25, or at 40. At 18 It's very unlikely his nose will change shape in any notably way. Waiting would serve no purpose than to appease other people.

[@jennstewart3003]

Story 4: I think I found OP's big purchase, a damn good lawyer. Personally, I might have walked when brother died depending on circumstances (like was the surgery a hail Mary or was it good treatment), but now I don't think I'd have stayed after the second time he asked.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 4: that is the biggest deal breaker ever. If my brother died and I had a husband who could have lent money that could have saved his life and he said no? I would have left him, and fought for as much money as I could because that Jack only thinks of himself Also, if I was OP, I would have said “Maybe I would have given you some if your sibling was dying and if it would have helped them stay alive but I guess not all of us are good people who think of others instead of their own financial BS”

[@JoshSweetvale]

Money is life. If OP doesn't understand what that _actually_ means, maybe her husband could've taken the amount of money her brother asked for and put it in a savings account for life-saving surgery for HER. Or for kid #1. Kid #2. Himself. Oh look and we're out of money.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 2- never before have I realised what a privileged life I've lead. I didn't even have to graduate to get my oscillating fan- my brother gave me one for free!

[@Kzinix]

Story 3: wow, YTA indeed. The gf was promised that OP had her covered and in one of the examples was only given juice when mom got lunch AND coffee? 🤔 Oh, sure - get your mom a coffee while your gf is starving. How on earth can you not think that you're an AH here?

[@xhagast]

Second Story: The "kid" is 18, his nose kinda needed a job and bro paid for it. I would have shrugged and said, "are you ok? Does it hurt? Will you need to do anything else?" and moved on. Fourth Story: The marriage is over.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP is right to not give the husband any of the inheritance, but she's TA to herself for staying. He bought a truck and expensive gifts for his biological family. The surgery might have saved or extended the brother's life. And, then the truck got stolen? OP he's not a good man.

[@robertx8020]

He's a selfish AH of the worst kind!

[@jeanproctor3663]

Story 2 - OP's son was obviously feeling something so bad he wanted a rhinoplasty. It's not something you just wake up one day and say "oh yeah, I fancy a nose job!" He may have felt bad about it for years and saw the surgery as the only way to fix his negative feelings. There's no way we can say how someone feels and that they don't "deserve" to get the surgery or it's "not necessary" - it could literally be the difference between life and death if someone feels so bad against that body detail. I would say that OP and wife are the AHs and not OP's brother. Story 3 - If OP couldn't fulfil his word he shouldn't have told his mother and let his girlfriend believe he "had it covered" and his friend is spot on.What a total AH and idiot. Yes, be grateful for your mother, her sacrifices etc., but don't make it obvious that any other woman *than his mother* will be dropped by the wayside and left to starve. No wonder she kicked off at him when they got home. If he carries on like this for the rest of his life he will die a lonely, embittered man because his Mum won't live for ever. I don't say this to sound nasty, it's just the truth as it is. Story 4 - Definitely NTA. I can't blame OP at ALL here. Her skinflint husband basically let her brother die when he could have helped financially and he *expects* OP to give him half of her own inheritance? Nah mate. Bin that total AH, he's not worth your time OR money.

[@biggysmallz40]

just because you feel bad about how you look isn't life or death now if it was affecting his overall health that's different but odds are the son just didn't like his nose so instead of growing up and realizing that's not that big of a deal in life he went behind his parents back that he still lives with (he may be a adult on paper but if he isn't contributing anything to help in the house still a kid in his parents house) and got a permanent altering surgery because at 18 he didn't like the way he looked. most people don't like the way they look in they mid to late teens there is always something wrong or not right in your eye. personally if the brother knew op and his wife said no to the surgery and he did it anyway he is the AH.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@biggysmallz40 agreed

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

@@biggysmallz40 It may not be life or death but it was obviously a really big thing to him. And the "If you're not paying for anything while living in your parents house, you're a kid" deal isn't true. My uncle lives with his parents (my grandparents) and he's in his forties. He has two kids the oldest one being fifteen. The OP's kid obviously wanted a change for a while and i don't see the issue. It's just a nose job, it's nothing that major. OP seems to be very controlling. This gives off "my kids are my property" vibes and "my kids can't make decisions for themselves".

[@biggysmallz40]

@@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603 in the current times everyone wants plastic surgery because no one wants to seem different or stand out and instead of having confidence or not caring what people think most young men and women opt to get back altering surgery for attention or to be noticed (like I said if his nose is just cosmetic there is no reason for him to have it) In my opinion I think op was just looking out for his son because who's to say the operation goes fine or that there no later health issues after said operation.

[@JoshSweetvale]

The solution to anorexia isn't fasting. And the solition of hating your body certainly isn't going under the knife on a whim!!!

[@ccggenius]

"I told my girlfriend my mom will always be more important than her, and now she's upset. What did I do wrong?" Also, do they NOT have credit cards? If you're a little short now but will have it covered within a month, it's basically a free loan.

[@digitalharmony26]

I don’t have a credit card. Very few people I know have one. They’re not particularly needed if you’re financially stable and not a good idea if you’re financially irresponsible or don’t make a lot of money in general. I’m on disability, have been since I was 16 so I won’t get approved for that reason which I think is ridiculous but hey.

[@matthewuzulis5016]

@@digitalharmony26 Sadly if you hope to buy a home in North America you need to have good credit by buying and repaying with a credit card regularly or you better have the entire cost of the house covered up front. It's a messed up system where people who do not use credit are punished.

[@twentyfiveyears5010]

Nobody--not OP, mom, dad, two siblings, or their partners--had the wherewithal to let OP's GF eat food? Nobody had access to a few extra bucks, or a credit card, or another family member or friend they could borrow it from short-term? Maybe they shouldn't be going on island vacations every year if money is so tight. OP has serious mamma's boy/doormat vibes if he goes along with what mommy and his siblings think is or isn't appropriate.

[@twentyfiveyears5010]

@@digitalharmony26 You could probably qualify for one, even with a low credit limit if you wanted to have one for emergencies, or to use judiciously and improve your credit standing.

[@digitalharmony26]

@@twentyfiveyears5010 I’ve tried, talked to a few places and with my age and the fact I’ve been on disability my whole life they won’t approve one. I know in the US it’s stupidly easy to get one (from what I’ve heard) but not where I live. It would be good for emergency situations given I have very little savings but it is what it is unfortunately.

[@laurelrhodes744]

Story 1: I can’t help but think of if I was in OP’s shoes as someone with medical conditions that make the effects of anesthesia SO MUCH WORSE! Not only that, if my brother’s partner did what SIL did to OP, I think my whole family would go scorched earth with them!!! Anesthesia is SERIOUS STUFF!!! It’s not like it is in the movies! Your whole body is essentially shut down and it effects so many systems in the body! I can’t help but want to cry thinking of OP sitting at the pool hot, dazed, confused, nauseous and probably a lot of other things too!!! If you ask me SIL’s getting off easy with just a divorce.

[@Boundwithflame23]

Yeah there’s a reason they tell you not to take public transportation or be at home by yourself. You’re effectively defenseless until it wears off

[@ginathecookie]

Agreed I also have conditions that make me very vulnerable when not drugged like that With the Anesthesia I'm basically a fat, human sized doll. Edit: I felt so sorry for OP. I was like Why couldn't Sil just drop her off at OP's house or her's or even who's looking after the niece. A safe house is much better than what she did. Ugh. It wouldn't have taken long and even if it had she should not have agreed to take OP. Someone get an inflatable bat and hit Sil on the head repeatedly pls.

[@nilianstroy]

Also, different people react differently to the same exact anaesthesia... I remember when I got my wisdom tooth pulled out, I was fine withing hours, my friend had the same a while later, and was zombified for almost two days...

[@sfsin3380]

At least OP called the brother. This could have been much worse. My Dad once wondered off while under the after effects of anesthesia. Sister had brought him home then gone for a nap before her evening shift and Dad just walked out the front door and wondered around town. Thankfully he wasn't hard to find but to this day he remembers none of it and anything could have happened.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Op needed to say in front of his family “ you wouldn’t help me save my brother with your inheritance” so the entire family sees him for who he is

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Story 3: I looked it up on Reddit - yeah, he removed it because he got ousted as being a Mumma's boy who hadn't cut the cord. Hope the Girlfriend dumps him.

[@JC-sg1ns]

Story 2: They could be Korean. Plastic surgery would be a common graduation gift in South Korea. Won’t be surprised if an Asian parent would think an oscillating fan would make a good gift.

[@zerobolt9506]

This...this makes a lot of sense

[@christophermills7693]

story 4: divorce the fool and get a lawyer and find a country to put it so that it can't be grabbed by a divorce lawyer

[@hesherette]

in the US, inheritance money/ assets are ONLY for the person intended, so even if they do get a divorce, the husband wouldn't be able to touch her inheritance bc he wasn't the intended recipient. so that will work in her favor once she leaves that trashy man :)

[@CaenaGrey]

@@hesherette Not to mention the precedent he set with his own inheritance.

[@hesherette]

@@CaenaGrey totally, such a jerk! part of me wonders if he was demanding the money be moved so that he COULD take some in a divorce. if she had moved it then i think it would count towards "joint assets", but im not 100% sure on that

[@truthseeker9249]

Story 1: I hate to say it, I really do. But OP was on drugs and on the verge of passing out. Sure she was in a pool in broad daylight but predators and other monsters don't always wait until it's nighttime and therefore easy to hide. What if some asshole saw OP sitting there obviously disoriented, unaware of her surroundings and unable to defend herself and was ballsy enough to try to kidnap her and take advantage of her? Yeah. Think about that. A 19 year old girl disoriented and barely able to do anything is the perfect target for those people. And if that had happened to her then she would be able to press charges against the SIL. I'm sure she never even thought about something like that for one second with her selfishness.

[@cm06c]

I thought the same. And I think Mark was hinting at it when he said “I’d want them home safe.”

[@truthseeker9249]

@@cm06c yeah that's what I was thinking

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1 NTA it's she is so neglectful and selfish and op would have gotten hurt i really do hope he gets full custody of his children.

[@asskicker4000]

Hold up one second Her husband was a pretty direct reason her brother died and they are STILL married!?!

[@partyshoes2917]

Oh man that oscillating fan 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@carolroberts4614]

I am sure he would have been delighted(!) What every 18 year old needs(??)

[@noname-ip9xe]

1st not the a, she put op in harms way. 2nd yta, he got a nose job, big deal, now he’s happy with his face, he’s confident and happy, good for him, regardless of your opinions on plastic surgery it doesn’t matter, he clearly loves his nephew. 3rd yta, you knew she had struggles with money and invited her anyways knowing she would need help, it wouldn’t kill your mom to provide for herself or simply not go, or anything else.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

Story 1.) Omfg!!!! 😱😱😱 This is just horrifying! I wouldn’t even leave my worst enemy like that? High off on medical drugs and she leaves OP within the premise of a pool?! NTA

[@paden1865able]

That story made me so mad! My son was so sick after he had his out a few months ago and we watched over him like a pair of hawks.

[@zachf748]

Story #2 If OP thinks an *oscillating fan* is the _best gift ever…_ Wtf does he think a normal gift is?

[@saratronus]

For all we know that could have been the cover story at the brother gave before taking the son lol. Like I would be more mad that they lied for a while And I wouldn't trust him again the brother that is to convince the son to lie about such a thing

[@tomorrow4eva]

I know right? So weirdly specific.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Obviously, the hierarchy of gifts goes like this... Nice gift: socks Very nice gift: a particularly good pen Super nice gift: one of those recharging packs for your phone that is solar powered Holy grail of gifts: oscillating fan. Double points if it's a rechargeable fan.

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

@@saratronus I wonder why exactly they felt a need to sneak behind OP's back

[@saratronus]

@@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603 Because they were afraid to be told no It's just common sense. Junk food isn't always the best thing to give kids

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: depends where they are in the world, but if this is in the USA, I could understand if the son is under 18 and the uncle would never be in the right. However, OP’s son is 18. He is a legal adult and wanted to do something to his own body and his uncle paid for it. YTA The fact OP’s son had to hide it from him by staying over at his uncle’s for a week under a lie of staying with a friend, means that his intermediate family is overbearing and controlling

[@khaleesireyna731]

I'm just imagining that OPs family are one of those ultra conservative families that a super controlling and kinda... squares (not a word I'd normally use, but fits here)... I mean the oscillating fan thing is mostly what makes me think that. Like why do I feel like this is the kind of family who only ever let their kids watch G-rated movies even well into their teens and get mad when there's 1 curse word in a song... might be a bit of a stretch but the oscillating fan thing got me.

[@CaenaGrey]

All I can think about is what if the son had died from the anesthesia? How would you feel about your brother then?

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

@@CaenaGrey That's a whole different thing that's like saying "I won't let my kid drive because they might crash!"

[@andybunnycomics9741]

Story 1: Plus there was the risk of OP drowning if they tried to wander off, looking for her, being as disoriented as they were, them falling over and getting hurt, what if they needed to use the bathroom and got lost? Irresponsible behavior.

[@khaleesireyna731]

People like the OPs stbx sil boil my blood because the way she said op "tattled" on her just screams "nothing is ever MY fault". And given what I've heard about the update, this SAHM literally left her 2 y/o at home alone, and now she's mad because she got caught and is now getting rightfully called out and left for it. Hope the brother gets full custody and the overgrown spoiled brat has to actually get a job and pay HIM child support.

[@honeypot8524]

Story 2: YTA your son is an adult and will do what he wants with his body, being mad at the brother for what? Helping the son? No one needs OP's approval

[@zerobolt9506]

Except that the son lives at home & has to follow OP's rules

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

@@zerobolt9506 That's bullshit. My uncle lives with my grandparents at age forty and he has two kids.

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

@@zerobolt9506 I'm tired of the "my house my rules" excuse to treat your kids like shit or anyone under your roof like shit.

[@tegantalks9612]

I hope OP screenshots the abusive texts from her SIL and sends them to her brother for his lawyer.

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 - YTA The fact OP thought the greatest gift to give his son’s graduation is a FAN?! It goes to show how out of touch Op is with his son’s needs and feelings.

[@Ax-xo4ux]

And his son literally asked both parents to help him get through his stuff. I bet his nose got him teased and bullied and made him uncomfortable. It’s his nose. He’s 18

[@Maria-fq8rk]

one thing is accepting that your parents won't pay for it, however it is completely horrible and imature from the brother to hide it. Do you know the ammount of people who die under the knife every day? What would have happened if the kid died? Also 18 is way too young for any kind of facial surgery, AAAAND, what if it got infected, what if the kid had a complication??... Any respectable PS who specializes in Rhinoplasty will tell you that his facial features and nose will continue to change, literally 18 is too young. The body is not fully developed... PS who say is fine are literally saying it out of greed...

[@Tammohawk1]

1. NTA What sister in law did to OP was just the last nail in her coffin. 2. An oscillating fan huh? Son is now 18 and can do what he wants. OP didn't listen to his son or take his feelings into consideration. This can radically impact someone's self esteem. The brother didn't force the young man to get surgery after all. 3. If my boyfriend did that to me I'd consider making him my ex. 4. Nah. Not after he let her brother die like he did. And then he brought it up in front of his family trying the peer pressure route. He has a lot of nerve. edit: I wouldn't have had to ask my husband for money if my brother needed surgery. He would have offered right out of the gate. Especially if he had the money. He was that kind of man.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 4: Why are you still with this person, Is the D That GOOD?! I know 7k be a lot but like come on dude, that's your wife. She even said she'd paid it back. Like fuck dude. 7k to save her bros life, and your like nah fam. But then turn around and be like Honey were my cut of ya ma moneys. Like fuck outta here bro. If I have it, the wife has it. Like damn.

[@Swnsasy]

Omgosh, Omgosh!! What Bri did is DANGEROUS! I went in to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out, this was 16yrs ago, and they put me under as well.. I could barely walk, couldn't eat before or even after, couldn't hold my own head up and barely my own body.. I was so nauseated but couldn't throw up because NOTHING was in there. Mouth packed like a damn chipmunk!! When I got into the bed it was 2pm and I didn't wake up until 4am!! (Best fucking sleep ever).. But my dumbass did get dry socket because I use to be a smoker and you're not suppose to suck anything... Bri got exactly what she had coming to her and it is OBVIOUSLY more that she's done for him to divorce her, NTA! If she couldn't do it, OP could have rescheduled but no, she did this to OP.. Omgosh I feel so horrible for her.. We literally could be taken by a serial killer and would go, that's how drugged you are!! Edit: I couldn't suck anything, LOL.. I just realized how that came out! Glad this isn't a child's channel 🤣🤣 Before I even hear Story 2.. YTA!!! He's 18! You obviously didn't care how horrible he feels inside about not liking his nose.. He told you he's happy!! YTA, YTA BIG TIME!!

[@khaleesireyna731]

Agree on both counts. I find it kinda shocking that there are actually people saying NTA to a guy throwing a tantrum about his adult child making a choice for his own body, like chill and get yourself a nice oscillating fan, my dude.

[@oftheriverr]

Story 2 if someone took MY child to get a nose job I would beat the shit out of them. 18 is too young and full of insecurities to understand the consequences. I'm 19 and only starting to like myself. However, since the son went behind op's back, there must have been a GIANT communication problem in that household.

[@zerobolt9506]

Everyone in the comments here keep saying that "he's 18 he's 18" but he lives at home & is still a teen/kid even if he's an adult too, your right he's still to young to full understand the consequences & there's the fact that one's own brain and body are still developing until I believe 23 to 25, at 18 he at least has 5 to 7 years were his appearance could change all on its own, I knew a girl with looked boyish at 17bto 18 & in just 3 years changed to look WAY different without any surgery & such. I will say that if the son was being mistreated at school cause of it then OP's an AH, but there's not enough info to really know.

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

Honestly OP sounds like a controlling parent and it doesn't matter if the son is eighteen or older. He did something that made him extremely happy.

[@n.m.fergus]

Oh, I saw the first story on Reddit! There is an update. Turns out the wife also left their two year old at home, with the door unlocked, while she went to the store. She was caught cause the brother came home early.

[@cynicalminion]

I dunno about the best graduation present ever... "HEY!! UNTO YOU A CHILD IS BORN" but basically it sounds like somebody is throwing a temper tantrum because their kid's a grownup...

[@theseawriter]

Story 2: YTA. Your son’s a grown adult. You can’t control what he does. You’re also undermining his happiness at his change.

[@Nevermore-Nevermore]

First story has an update. Apparently Bri left their daughter alone to go the grocery store. The door was unlocked, her phone was in the bedroom, and she left their 2 year old child alone for over 20 minutes. Brother was about to call the police. She blew it off as brother being “dramatic”. Bri was kicked out and is living in a hotel (paid by brother) for 2 weeks until she can find a place. Brother is going for full custody.

[@InuMokuba]

Oscillating fans are gonna be the new Mark meme

[@carolroberts4614]

We can stand them on pillars as a new monument!

[@MrsJScarbrough]

That last story. I wouldn't be able to look that man in the face after my brother died, but my answers in front of his whole family would have been " I'll give you 20k when my brother comes back alive, but until then you're not "ENTITLED" to my mom's money, you will not get a single dime"

[@AutumnFire1414]

Story 2: The 'oscillating fan' being the "best graduation gift ever." Other commenters here have mentioned they've lived in Third World countries all their life and it wasn't considered the 'best gift ever' there. I think it's a very subtle red flag. The parents have ignored the son's wishes all his life. They had to know how unhappy he was. Then the fan comment. Add those up and it could very well lead to parents who are emotionally and mentally abusive. I wish I could say I'd never seen or heard of parents doing something like this, but sadly, at my age, I have. Kuddos to the OP's brother for being there when the son really needed him.

[@artemishallihan8973]

Story 3, if I was in OP's shoes, my response to my husband would be "Given the inheritance you received was not split between us, I assumed this money should be similarly handled. However, if you or your family ever needed a loan for medically necessary surgery, I'd happily assist because I know how horrible of a situation that is and would never subject someone to such pain and stress." It would be interesting to know what the husband's response would be, other than classic narsasssist replies

[@badkitty4922]

Story 3: I've been in a similar situation with a bf LONG ago. Mine also knew that my financial issues also made it difficult to afford to eat regularly to begin with, then pulled the same sh*t that this OP did, pretty much. Needless to say, bf was tossed like the garbage which he treated ME like. OP's gf better wise up and get out. Kudos to the commentor who called OP Norman (Bates)! 🤣🤣😂😂👏👏👏

[@AliKatt0]

Edit: There was an update to Story 1, Mark!!! I had all 4 of my wisdoms out at the same time a few years ago, and that IV stuff really knocked me out, and when I woke up, my mother said I acted as if I had aged backwards 15 years. I was like a small kid curious of everything. I was lucky I was home and NOT near a large body of water ... I can only imagine being left at a pool while still loopy...and in the heavy heat no less. My god...

[@moimeself1088]

Same. I didn't age backwards, but i was def out of it. Can't imagine being expected to function normally in that state!

[@AliKatt0]

@@moimeself1088 Right?! I guess I had a weird reaction, that was my first time going under so I had no idea what to expect. That probably makes it worse had I been OP.

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 2: the more I think about the more I think the “oscillating fan” makes op TA. Hear me out, beyond how ridiculous it is as a concept it really speaks to how little op knows his son and what a “good gift” is. It indicates that Op and his wife have never given their son an actual gift that their son likes.

[@carolroberts4614]

It seems the parents don't live together, I think he's the clueless one! He may have a history of giving household appliances as gifts!

[@amberleeannalee1999]

“Not a single dime” DAMN right. OPs the GOAT and should keep that money locked TF up and w away so he won’t spend it on his family he’s a greedy gold digger. Op u rock

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

4) The second my brother even died from my husband refusing to help I would've left. Get a divorce fast, but hide that money, he will take all of it if he can

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta it feels like this was the final nail in the coffin. Op has no reason to feel guilty.

[@sherrygibbs7547]

Notice that OP never mentions, if he ate or not, during the trip? I'll bet he ate, too. It sounds like GF "dumped" his A55 and is ghosting him. Good for her. He can keep/shove his rich mommy, daddy and trust acct. If the business suffers, hopefully OP losses his position, and gets an opportunity to feel how it is to struggle. He needs to learn about empathy/thought/respect for others. If he makes a promise (to someone outside the family), he needs to honor it, if he doesn't always want to be called the butthole.

[@messinalyle4030]

We live in Tennessee in a house with no central heating and air, and even I wouldn't consider another fan to be the best gift ever, even though my brain starts to melt in temperatures above eighty degrees. I'm extremely grateful for the fans that we do have, but there comes a point where another fan wouldn't make that much difference if they are the only thing you have to cool you off in the summer. Another fan almost feels like you're being teased because you'll never be able to get your house as cool as it could be with AC. Now if someone offered to install central heating and air for free, that would be my idea of the best present ever!

[@Feisty_Elfgirl_5258]

Story 2 - that OP considers a fan as the 'best gift ever' for an 18 year old says a lot about OP

[@zerobolt9506]

Well someone in another comment said that if it was for living in a dorm or something, also I'd love one as a gift if only cause I had a bad problem with heat, right now my AC is full blast in my tiny room, I can't stand with it's hot, I prefer the cold, I wear shorts and short sleeves when there's snow outside.

[@ivymcassey2405]

I went through that same surgery and it was horrible. I bled everywhere. It was a nightmare. It was so intense. I had no one and I had to go to the pharmacy to get medication. I barely got out of there safely. I bled all over the entire store 1/2 out of it. It was truly a nightmare. In the heat like that without help I am sure I would have died.

[@carolroberts4614]

I'm sure you're right, Mark, that mother knew exactly what she was doing! And Op's friend seems to have the measure of her all right! I hope she dumps him, if she hasn't already.

[@TSUYOMIchan]

Story 2 is like what was stopping OP from cooking at the house they own or finding a cheaper dish or dishes that everyone could have a portion of. They bought their mum breakfast AND a coffee, which to my knowledge adds up to a price where both the mum and the girlfriend could have had their pick of a cheaper breakfast item each. Blows my mind. Also if you have to rely on a paycheque to cover what you need to on vacation and not majority savings, you just cant afford to go on vacation. You need an emergency fund going anywhere with the potential to get stuck away from home.

[@roelthas]

1.- NTA, I don't get why would OP even question herself, the soon-to-be ex-SiL was awful and brought this to herself. 2.- ESH, OP dismissed his son but the brother did overstep, he should have advocated for his nephew but instead went behind his parent's back. 3.- YTA, OP failed his probably now ex-gf and basically came as proud mama's boy, one of the biggest red flags there can be. 4.- NTA, but I don't get why is OP still in that crap of a marriage.

[@bdhesse]

The son was 18. It's none of the parents business what he does with his body. The only people who needed to know were the son and his uncle. Heck, his uncle even helped take care of him while he recovered, so it's not like he left the parents to take care of their son after he got a procedure they didn't agree with. The uncle went above and beyond to support his nephew.

[@simonO712]

@@bdhesse Indeed, the uncle sounds great.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@bdhesse soo gonna overlook the fact son lives at home, OP's home, so OP DOES have a say or the son could move out, get a job & get off of OP's insurance

[@bdhesse]

@@zerobolt9506 I hope you don't have children. Just because you own a home doesn't mean you own a person's body. Unless it personally affects you, such as never washing dishes or being loud and disruptive, you get zero say. If you kick your child out simply because they live "under your roof" and you don't like a personal choice they made for themself, you are the AH.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@bdhesse never did I say to kick him out, but love that you said that he's an adult & then when I said then he's old enough to move out you then say he's a child, that right there was my point, yes he is legally an adult, but he's still technically a child, everyone wants to use the fact he's 18 to say he's now a grown up & can make grown up decision, but as soon as someone says something like I did it's "he's just a child" or something which is can't have it both ways, also 1# I'm not saying OP wasn't a bit of an AH here, HOWEVER, the brother definitely is one, he went behind the parents backs to do something they said no to, another thing is he should at least wait until he's 20 or so before get cosmetic surgery, especially since his brain & body is still developing until the age of 25, there's also soooo many risks involved even just for a nose job, but if the son died because of it every single person would be on OP's side right now, I'm not saying that the son can't get it, but he should have waited & what if he now wants to change something else about himself, the son need therapy before anything, someone also pointed out you need to set something like this way in advance so he would have been 17 around the time unless the uncle took him so some shady doctor, let me ask you if the son was 16 or 17 would you THEN be saying his body his choice? Doubtful, I really doubt it. Edit: if I ever had kids & they wanted something like a nose job I'd tell them to wait until their 20 to 23, put them in therapy to help them understand everything that will come with it & their reasons behind it, heck I'd even pay for the nose job, but as long as they wait until 20 to 23.

[@Nonprofitgenie]

Story 2: I bet the OP has the same type of nose & they eventually came to terms with it. OP doesn't like the fact that their kid doesn't like it and wanted to get a nose job

[@AuroraPaintBrush4444]

That was my first thought. "He think his nose is ugly...that's my nose!" The OP's brother paid for everything, but every surgery carry risks. Overall, since the son is 18, he now has control over his body. He could join the military, get a tattoo, get a belly button ring, etc. Overall OP is throwing a hissy fit.

[@LisaApril]

That’s the first thing I thought. Or the father might be an asshole who just thinks, “you don’t need that“ whenever the son want something that the father can do without or doesn’t want His son to have it because he struggle to get it Blah blah blah

[@dagnytheartist]

I think that too. OP did almost nothing while his son (I'm assuming) was getting bullied at school over it his whole life. He had plenty of time, he could have pulled his son out of school, switched schools, had him take karate, got him therapy, done something that would have made him rethink the nose job before he turned 18. Regardless, it's no longer his call to make.

[@AuroraPaintBrush4444]

@@dagnytheartist I wish Op would of been more clear if he had an honest heart to heart conversation on why his son wanted a nose job. Figure out if he was bullied or did it make him feel like he was wearing a strangers face, or whatever the core reason was. If it was bullying, or body issues, talking more and not rug sweeping would of helped. Therapy would of been an option for those too.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@dagnytheartist where the heck did it even say that???

[@rakky9694]

Story 1: I believe I heard from my mother, a nurse, that people under that state need to be closely monitored because they can even choke to death.

[@CrescentMoonDancer15]

Ok, I think the brother is an AH. Not for taking his nephew's feelings seriously, but for going behind their back. He planned it BEFORE the kid was 18. He could have easily said "Hey, I set up a separate bank account with X amount of money for the kid. It's HIS decision what to do with it." Their son just suddenly comes back with a major change, they might get used to it eventually, but they no forewarning and are slammed with everything at once.

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

Nah, Uncle actually LISTENS to his nephew, doesn't blow off his mental/emotional health, and had his back when OP ignored their child's distress. I figured he did it that way because he knew nephew would get the same no support and fighting if they tried to let them know. Uncle probably knows how his sibling reacts, and plans accordingly

[@BasedPoliwhirl]

Bro in story 3 was like "i get paid a fairly good amount" but 1 late paycheck and he can afford to buy 2 lunches, something aint adding up buddy.

[@marybrown6756]

Second story: OP’s friend is a true friend. And knows the ways of the world.

[@brokenrabbitsfoot]

The first story is insane. I've been under what they called "twilight sleep" and remember jackcrap from going under to waking up in my bed. The OP could have died, gotten picked up by a stranger or wandered off. What the actual f. It's so scary to think someone you trust could just leave you like that.

[@gigga143]

Story 4: i would have filed for divorce the moment my brother died. i also would have put him more on blast when he brought it up in front of his family, i would have said right in front of them, "You didn't give me any of your inheritance when I asked for help for my dying brother and now you expect some of mine." that dinner would have been even more awkward for him with me.

[@linkjsn]

This relates to story 1, when I had my wisdom teeth removed the only memories I have from right after my surgery is walking to the car after and walking into the house after getting home. And while I don't remember this I was told that I called one of the nurses "Big Bird" as they helped walk me to the car.

[@jennywhite2462]

What they give you when they take your wisdom teeth out is really strong. My oldest sister sang a rousing rendition of Will You Marry Me in the waiting room. She has no memory of this. And when we came home she was out of it for hours the whole rest of the day. I can't imagine being that vulnerable and being parked on cement slab next to a pool in 90 degree heat. OP could of stumbled into the pool and drown.

[@JSainte17]

So that one commenter expected this kid to develop a killer, fun personality that would make people flock to him? When he has TWO parents who think the "greatest high school graduation gift ever" is an oscillating fan?

[@viddergrapho8488]

3:58 WHAT IS THIS FACE??🤣🤣🤣 Whoever makes your animations whether it be you or someone else is absolute starlight.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#3 - Oh, Mark, you really don't want to know that if OP were in front of me, after asking him if his GF went without a meal at any time during the trip and he answered that she did, I would be Gibbs slapping the back of his head until his brain reset! (NCIS reference for those who are not fans)

[@meechiebaby493]

No matter how many videos you drop in a day, it's never enough. As always, great work.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: NTA - You asked for help because that was doctor's advice. She, instead, decided to take you to a party. I wonder what was up that the pool staff didn't notice anything? Or one of her friends? Who just ignores someone all but passed out in the sun? Wow. I can't imagine.

[@loraduvall8744]

In Ohio inheritance is not marital property so her husband can sit and rotate lol

[@twentyfiveyears5010]

Like an oscillating fan?

[@loraduvall8744]

@@twentyfiveyears5010 lol.....

[@smellyolegoat150]

In story 2, I think OP was out of line. The son is 18 years old. The nose job is his, and only his choice. If his uncle was willing to fund the surgery, it was between the two of them, the surgeon, and nobody else. It would have been great for OP to understand how troubled the son was by his nose. I think, though I understand OP’s frustration, OP’s reaction is way over the top. I am 62 years old and have hated, and been embarrassed by my nose my entire life. If I had had a family member willing to pay for me to get it fixed when I was 18, I would have been eternally grateful. Could that be OP’s real issue?

[@zerobolt9506]

You overlooking the fact the son lives in OP house?

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

@@zerobolt9506 Again, that doesn't have to do with shit

[@yourlocalcoffeeaddict9603]

@@zerobolt9506 Stop using that as a fucking excuse to treat someone like shit. OP is TAH and it's clear from the way he talks. He sees his son as another extension of himself it seems or is just really fucking controlling.

[@ZPokemonfanA]

Story 2: I'd say YTA. OP's brother is an adult. OP's son is an adult. If OP's son is happy about this nosejob, why is OP throwing a tantrum about this?

[@zerobolt9506]

Cause the son lives with OP

[@TrulyAGhost]

I believe bri been irresponsible for a while, and OP was the final tipping point. Smh

[@aurea.]

Apparently this was confirmed in an update: it seems SIL had left their infant daughter home alone to run errands at some point.

[@TrulyAGhost]

@@aurea. now see. That type of ish deserves for you to get your azz kicked. Smh. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Altpal]

Story 2: ahh yes my favorite birthday present, an oscillating fan

[@trillionbones89]

"part of me feels bad about it and wonders if i shouldn't have done that" really dislike those people. They are attacked by a crazy person and believe them.

[@imperialspacemarine1539]

The greatest grad gift ever: getting to cut out toxic people. NTA

[@NervousKraken]

I'm just imagining this family to be super into fans, the way that some people are into model trains. Like a basement full of them, different makes and models displayed with a little info card next to it. Spending quality time together down there, turning them on one by one. Watching the blades spin. Fascinating. The center piece? An empty pedestal, waiting for the best gift ever. The Oscillating Fan.

[@MsTemptation]

S2: NAH. Your son is 18. So he didn’t need your permission to accept having his uncle (your brother) pay for his nose job. Banning your brother for giving your son what he has always wanted would only alienate you and your son. Let it go. Heck be grateful for small favors.

[@RJLiams]

Sounds more like you think OP is the asshole since you disagree with everything he said.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

Ya know, I'm wanting an update ... and I'm going to suspect it's one where his brother sees the damage that's done when the plastic surgery settles, and something isn't right.

[@hareemqureshi822]

@@DePhoegonIsle i really hope it doesn't look bad when it's done.

[@khaleesireyna731]

I personally lean more toward YTA for story 2. First off, dude thinks an oscillating fan is the best present ever... I'm a big fan of fans and all but that's just weird. But also, the fact that he's basically just throwing a tantrum in banning his brother, like my dude, your son is 18, it's his body and he has the right to make that call for himself. You don't have to necessarily like it, but you do need to get over the idea that you somehow get final say on an adults choices on their body.

[@irisleli5151]

@@khaleesireyna731 i lean more toward yta or esh because personally i think the uncle overstepped by hiding it, he could have said "Your son is 18 and is allowed to do the change to love his body, and I will support him by paying for it" then it's ok, however just paying for it behind their back is not ok. Plus every surgery no matter how small can be dangerous or have life changing consequences