So I Overdosed...

Here is my recent blog entry on the subject: claudiaboleyn.t...
I am so so sorry to all those that were concerned about me. This is the gist of what happened. I would ask you to please be kind in the comments section because I admit that right now I am in a rather delicate place. However, I wanted to be honest and open with you. I thought this was something I needed to share. Please please please do not do what I did. It is an awful mistake and as I describe in the video it is incredibly unpleasant in a lot of ways.
Please learn from my silly mistakes. If you are feeling suicidal then know that there is help available. Ring the hospital or google a local helpline. I am going to be okay, but things could have gone very differently and I am just lucky that I caused no lasting damage to myself.
I love you lots.
xxx
My twitter: / claudiaboleyn
My tumblr: / claudiaboleyn
My music channel:www.youtube.co....
My music tumblr: / claudiaboleynmusic
My website:claudiaboleyn.com
My instagram: / boleynclaudia
My PayPal (for donations): www.paypal.me/...
xxx

[@freyaporter99]

It's so hard to explain suicidal thoughts and negative mental states later, especially to an audience who may not have any experience with them. Your attempts at education and promoting awareness for mental health are so brave and inspiring. I really hope you're feeling better today and will feel better tomorrow. You are loved, Claudia xxx

[@sophita_]

I hope you're doing better now. Look at all these people who care about you and are happy you're here. You are affecting a lot of lives in a positive way. Watching this has helped me to feel less alone and realise that I'm not crazy

[@machomanlyman2573]

Sorry that you're going through this. I'm glad you're okay. Block the trolls. They are worthless anyway. That alone might make you feel a little better.

[@camethedawn9096]

It's very sad indeed. I wish her a swift recovery. Brave of her to share that.

[@thesurivor0777]

MachoManlyMan no no no, dont block them, take them on, debate them, dont silence the opposing viewpoint challenge it! -me an antifeminist who is tired of being blocked for just wanting to talk

[@machomanlyman2573]

Homelikejet What are you, twelve? I don't want to debate. There's a reason you're being blocked. Get lost, troll.

[@camethedawn9096]

MachoManlyMan Jet is another web junkie wanting attention. This is not a forum for "Debates". Nor is it a platform for research and development. He wants debate, let him go to the city council. Smhl.

[@machomanlyman2573]

***** Yeah, I'm just tired of all these stupid little trolls who say they want to "debate," when all they really want to do is spew their false, useless garbage without listening to logic and facts. They can debate themselves for all I care.

[@rory3155]

I find it amazing how in the UK you're able to overdose and be treated for a suicide attempt and then sent home the next morning

[@teeth.2162]

I know this is a 3 year old comment, but that happened to me last year. I ODed and was sent home the very next day. It’s insane.

[@Nick97777]

Yeah but you have to undergo mental stability test done via psychiatrist or psychologist. If you fail they say to you the time and that you're sectioned and then you loose a hand full of your human rights under section which they tell you it all anyway

[@craigleeper4164]

@@Nick97777 I was there. I wasn't told my rights I was just told that I was being sectioned

[@Nick97777]

@@craigleeper4164 not sure why then, they did to me

[@lizzieal-ali5248]

@@Nick97777 dunno if it’s different in other hospitals but I’m Lancashire and you only seen by a psychiatrist to be discharged or sectioned if you’ve been deemed you need a MHAA or been on a police section 136/5

[@b0rder.-991]

Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story. I intentionally overdosed 6 years ago and was in a coma. I lost everything. Now I'm better mentally and doing well. Things get better. I promise.

[@blisterrbub1714]

Some of these comments are genuinely disgusting, and I honestly want to apologise to Claudia and anyone else who reads them. Makes me feel ashamed to be of the same species, truly...

[@blisterrbub1714]

What a shame humans are so illogical then, right?

[@losereditslol7476]

tbh// If you were to "kill them all" then to many people would be gone and probably some people you know. +Grimm Folly

[@Warriorette12]

+Grimm Folly What is your problem with the mentally ill? I'm not being angry, I'm genuinely asking.

[@missmalik8469]

Ahhhh, aren't you a sweet compassionate being sticking up for this girl who assaulted her own perfectly healthy body because people are urging her to to show her self more respect. Claudia needs to apologise to herself honey.

[@dylandunnage2581]

lol you think u can be classed as human. it makes me feel ashamed tht u think u are the same species as us truly

[@hollh003]

It's very brave of you to share this. I've never attempted suicide before, but I have been suicidal. This video has been really helpful. Thank you for making this. Stay strong.

[@evex3160]

You are a precious, honourable, golden little human. I don't want to ever have you thinking you aren't and you couldn't be. You deserve a world and a half and the moon as well, and there's nothing you can't do. You give me hope & I'm grateful. People will always support you, you are never alone. I hope you are well, healthy & doing fine. Loads of love.

[@Ineharnia]

There's something satisfying about reporting trolls. It feels like you're slamming the door in someone's face.

[@SofiaH]

i'm glad you didn't do yourself any damage claudia, we support you on your recovery & i hope you can get to a better place very soon xxxxx

[@Tease89]

Claudia, ignore the haters! We all have unfortunately been there.... it is a horrible and scary thing to go through. I took an overdose a few months ago and stupidly didn't go to A&E... somebody up there just mustn't want me to go... I really do hope you're ok now xx

[@kushsparklexo2942]

Anon amous we have not "all been there" i was a heroin addict and i have felt depressed and suicidal but i have never od on otc pills lmao that's stupid af

[@fraserfrays8440]

So glad you're safe and still here Claudia

[@Ujames1978Eternally]

We're so glad that you're not only physically okay Claudia, but to hear that this was an impulse and you don't feel suicidal now. And thank you so much for having the courage to share this with us all. Because as you say in the video, it's really important that more people talk about this issue to help overcome the stigma and the taboo.

[@MaineJuen]

Having such an honest video is so useful to so many people. It gives other mentally ill people a public video to relate to and help them with the knowledge that they're not alone. For people who are not mentally ill it gives them a visible way to help understand mental illness. We are all grateful. You are a gift Claudia. You are a gift to us all and we are so glad you are with us still. You are loved and adored by so many.

[@panicatdx]

I don't often comment on videos but i will on this one because i admire you as a person and am incredibly sad that this happened. i'm on recovery myself from self harm and i know how hard it can get and that you're sometimes even lower than when your recovery started. i hope you push through this and concentrate on yourself. i wish you the best of luck and strength which i know you have in you. i'm not a native speaker so excuse my english. love you claudia and hope you're doing better in the next days

[@languidlotus]

I don't normally comment on your videos, but with this one I just want to say how amazing it is that you're sharing this with us. It takes great strength to share things like this with others and it's truly inspirational. Listening to you will no doubt make a positive impact on lots of lives. Recognizing others have the same issues and doubts and fears will comfort so many people. So thank you. Thank you so much. You're amazing.

[@siensone]

you are so strong and brave claudia, we love you so much. please block the trolls, they are so toxic. ): I wish you the best.

[@pineappleharley5812]

Sonia Romero Define troll

[@kaedenparten9126]

Lawrence Newman did she say that? no.

[@kaedenparten9126]

They're just words of encouragement, there isn't a reason behind them. They're just meant to comfort.

[@kaedenparten9126]

The words, yes, wether she tried to kill herself or not, I wouldn't know.

[@rivers3857]

Lawrence Newman stronger than bigots like you

[@brookeprentice4042]

You're video has really helped me! I took an overdose a few days ago.. You're such a strong person, and you should be proud of yourself. Mental health does have a stigma, like people who are suicidal, just do it for attention.. it's so annoying. It was the 4 time I failed to take my life. I remember just taking a load of tablets one morning and it was so bad I remember just collapsing while I was walking to my class, and I woke up with loads of paramedics around me. I was frighten and I immediately regretted it. Unlike you I weren't so lucky and I damaged my liver. It wasn't nice! Thank you for the video x

[@suvijensen9248]

i really appreciate the fact that you make these videos. i admire your bravery, because very few people can muster up the courage to be open and honest about their mental health and the things that they go through. i'm so sorry you have to go through this and if i were ever to meet you, the first thing i would do would be give you a huge bear hug. thank you again for being here. on youtube and on planet Earth because your channel reminds me that i'm not alone and that there are other people out there (whether it be near me or far away, either way it's comforting to think about) who go through the same things that i do.

[@AnnoyingInANutshell]

Claudia you are so brave. You make me smile and make me happy and inspire me. You're absolutely amazing to speak out like this and you really make me feel like I'm not alone. You can hang in there, I know it.

[@aaah9136]

Your positive attitude towards your recovery is very inspirational, hopefully you'll be feeling better soon as possible. Best wishes, you're not alone

[@jeancrochets]

Dear Claudia, I don't think I can watch this vlog, it hits too close to home for me. But I do want to show my support. I think you're so brave for talking about this and I hope you realise just how brave and strong you are for it. I wish you all the best and all the luck in the world when dealing with this. Love, Jean

[@raemouse]

I had a very similar experience with my overdose so I know exactly what you went through. You've done so well to come out the other side regretting it. You can do this and you are strong enough to get through anything. I'm thinking of you, Claudia, your beautiful and amazing and inspirational and , most importantly, you are strong. Keep fighting and I really hope things start getting better and anything in your personal life clears up soon and it gets better xxx

[@raemouse]

And thank you for caring so much about close captioning! I'm hard of hearing and I really appreciate it! Thanks! Xxx

[@ravenwolf2220]

I am so relieved that you aren't hurt. I hope that you recover soon. Always keep fighting.

[@KimBrown242]

I'm so glad I only see positive comments. Feel better, Claudia, I'm sorry you went through this

[@HouseCatTV]

At 10:34 you reminded me of how suicide with guns is almost eliminated once guns are made illegal. It's the ease with which you can end your life that makes having a gun so dangerous for a mentally ill person. Fortunately in the UK and Australia we do not have that problem, and although it is horrible to OD on pills, it is more difficult to end it, and for that I'm thankful- you're still here :)

[@maddienerd4280]

I think you are very brave and am proud of you for speaking about this openly. Hang in there, we all support you! ♡

[@imabe1iever]

Claudia, I am so proud of you that you were brave enough to post this. I hope that it has the capacity to help others. I am so pleased that you are alright, and I hope that you feel much better very soon. I desperately hope that this is your last "blip" in your recovery and I wish you the absolute best. Xx

[@josielawrence9069]

It was very brave of you to post this video Claudia, and I'm proud of you for doing it. I'm so sorry you got so low...I don't really know what to say to you in this kind of situation other than I feel terrible for you and I hope things get better quickly. You are a beautiful human being that I truly admire. I'm sending you lots of love, Claudia.

[@M22-u4x]

I'm glad you're with us, Claudia! It's where you belong! Personally, whenever I think about suicide, I try imagine how the people in my life would hear about it. I imagine them calling or texting me and not getting any response, I imagine one of them maybe finding me, I imagine people feeling bad about themselves or responsible for it somehow. It really helps me to understand why I want to stick around and be there for people.

[@Annaliddelllycos]

M22 It sounds like she almost didn't have control of her actions. She said it was on impulse. What she needs now is indeed professional help by medical personal trained on this issue. I hope she doesn't fall through the cracks of the UK medical system. She needs a full checkup because lots of times there's biological factors underlining the depression.

[@laurengrace901]

Hi Claudia, I know this video is old but I have only recently found it and you. I know of course that you are not seeking validation from a 14 year old with not much information on things like this but I just would like to tell you that you are a completely gorgeous girl - inside and out. Obviously there will always be bad days and I hope that you don't ever have to resort to anything like this again. I hope your recovery continues going well and you know that you are never alone. Lots of love x

[@The66StingRay]

I fully agree! I just found you tonight and am going through severe depression and anxiety. i have no support and I'm watching your videos to try to help. i hope you're doing better and just want to thank you for sharing your story with us!!! you are all some of us have!!!! I have taken more pills, but it only made me sleep, so I understand your situation.

[@marinashutup]

Sending my love and thoughts your way

[@IvyM93]

I'm so sorry you're feeling so low, Claudia. You are so brave, not just for still being here, but for talking honestly and openly about how you didn't want to be. Please remember that there are so many people who care about you, but also, please don't feel like you owe your subscribers/followers anything. Just focus on getting well. In watching this video, these words from a poem of yours come to mind: Remember, I love you. You’re important, you see. There is only one you, And one day you’ll be free. I know it was addressed to "all those that self-harm," but I feel it applies in this situation, too. I hope you find some measure of peace in this life, Claudia. Wishing you nothing but the good times you so deserve, and the strength to make it through the bad.

[@hollyjefferies6265]

I don't know if these positive messages in the comments will help you or not, but just in case they will: I wish the absolute best for you in your recovery, you deserve to be happy and you are amazingly brave, like you said this is just a blip, you got through it before and you can again.

[@TheMariaMEEP]

I'm glad that you are still alive and hope that things get less miserable for you

[@thunkerfunk]

so glad you're okay, you're so strong and i know you can do this xxxxx

[@maureenmn288]

Stay strong,you are loved 😌💪

[@spafficakesss]

Claudia, I cannot express to you how much this video means to me. Thank you for being so honest, and so genuine in this video. Things like this are tough, and you sharing it shows how strong you are. I'm currently in a place where I'm feeling ok, but I've been here, and it sucks but I'm so proud of you for getting through it. We are always here for you and we love you xxxxxxxxxxxx

[@priscillamcrmy]

claudia, i love you and i hope you feel better xxx

[@nerdieone1]

It's things like this that make me despise bullying/trolls. Whether or not you agree with her does not give you the right to send her threatening messages etc. To Claudia I'm so glad you're ok!

[@paulidin]

Thank you for sharing this! You didn't have to. I hope if you feel like taking pills or some such in the future, you'll put it off for 24hrs and tell your subscribers or twitter followers first. We will tell you we adore you and want you to stay. I'm glad you're still here.

[@Missfantasyfreak]

I'm so sorry to hear about this and I wish you all the good luck and a quick recovery. You're an amazing person and the world would be a sadder place without you. You're so strong, doing such a video so shortly after must have taken a huge amount of bravery and I really appreciate your honesty. It means a lot. We love you.

[@DerpinaTrolova]

I'm really ashamed of having these depressive episodes. I know I shouldn't be, it just gets a bit too much when the people around me aren't being exactly supportive.

[@calibaby6913]

I'm very glad you are still here as I think you are such a wonderful and lovely person and find you very brave to be able to talk so openly about something like this. Stay strong sweetie 💙💜💙💜

[@omgyouguys]

You're a beautiful person - on the inside & the outside. As someone who struggles with depression & anxiety, I can totally relate. We're in this together

[@jessicaamado4042]

I haven't been keeping up with your videos much recently, but then I just saw this video on my subscriptions page. I'm honestly so proud of you. You're such a strong person, and I appreciate you being so open about it all. I'm glad you're still here, and I wish you a smoother recovery from here on out. I've been recovering from depression for over a year, but I still have other mental illnesses that bring me to really low points like this. I think you once mentioned that you have BPD? I think I may have read it on your blog once, but I have it as well, and I would love to see you make a video on it in the future. If you're comfortable doing so that is. Anyways, keep staying strong, Claudia. I believe in you. Cheers.

[@f2byamtv]

You are so incredibly strong and brave for sharing your story and being honest both on here and with the people in your life. Getting to that place is scary and isolating and awful and I'm so sorry you ever have to feel like that because it's the absolute worst and nobody should feel that terrible or alone. I just want you to know that, even as someone who's never met or talked to you, I am genuinely and fully relieved that you're still here and that your body is in decent shape considering. I know the recovery journey is long and hard, but you're doing a great job and the fact that you're here and sharing your story is just further testament to that. Thank you for always being so honest and real with us, and thank you for still being here. I'm proud of you, too.

[@akp0583]

Claudia, I only discovered yourself on KZbin because I was searching for people for had watched and were talking about cucumber, banana and tofu. The more I learn about you I see a very strong person, to be this honest with a world of strangers is brave and something I don't think I'd be able. Take care of yourself and take things one day at a time.

[@radrickdaedric9540]

i dont know if it makes a difference but i am glad youre still with us sweetheart

[@aimeekguest9641]

So glad you're still here, Claudia, love you loads xxx

[@maditalksclothes]

I hope you feel better Claudia, I was in your situation before and I know how horrible it is (especially having to go to A & E) sending my love ❤️

[@BehindScars]

Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way ♡

[@juancabarjal9171]

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[@robbertou]

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[@crumpet827]

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[@SunriseViewer]

Thanks for the emetophobia warning!

[@pipsta]

What does it mean?

[@SunriseViewer]

Emetophobia is an intense fear of vomiting.

[@cheesecakepooch8349]

That's what I have. FINALY I know what it is!

[@hannahtaybooks]

I know this wont mean allot to you as mental health is not a quick fix. But your such an amazing person! You make me feel more okay with being me as I love Anne Boleyn, Marvel and I am Bi. I have always felt wrong and ashamed to talk about my life and hobbies in case I'm judged for them but you have made me a stronger person. xxxxx

[@MatildaModigh]

I hope you'll see how wonderful you are! and how brave you are for speaking about stuff like this. I hope you'll recover soon, rest and take care of yourself ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@luckyriverfinn]

You are so brave and strong for putting this video up so soon. You are such a good person that makes so many people happy, never forget that.

[@sarahpoynter9652]

You are amazing. Thank you.

[@nerdygingerandproud105]

*Wraps blanket around her* *Wraps arms around her* *Passes her a warm drink.. Somehow* I hope that you are OK and are making a speedy recovery.

[@FairyPerryx]

You are an angel. I have no words for the extent to which I admire you. You are a strong strong women and a blessing. Thank you for being brave. Thank you for reaching out to us. Claudia, you are precious and extraordinarily loved.

[@aeriana789]

i hope you feel better soon. stay strong claudia, your honesty and bravery is an inspiration to us all. *hugs* xxx

[@autumn5035]

Hello. I for one do not personally suffer from any severe mental illnesses, just the occasional common anxiety from work, school etc etc etc. But I am extremely grateful that you are brave enough to share your story here on KZbin where soo many people (some, i presume, suffer from a mental illness). Keep it up girly. Who knows, you might just be saving lives.

[@AWildViewerAttacks]

Thank you for sharing, Claudia. I've been through suicidal times before and obviously and thankfully like you, I didn't manage to succeed. I'm sorry to hear you've felt that way again, I hope you feel better soon. You're an incredible and intelligent person and I really admire you. You are really strong. Much love to you, I hope everything goes okay xx

[@dimavasilev5342]

Best wishes for a speedy recovery Claudia! It's very strong of you to talk about this so soon afterwards. This is a blip and it will get better. Out of interest, as someone who see saws with mental health, could you do a video on your coping mechanisms or any other techniques you might recommend? Hope you feel better soon.

[@dianthus__]

you're so lovely and inspirational, claudia, im very very glad you're ok ♥♥♥♥

[@Proffessor2000]

Feel better. Been there, done that. Take care of yourself my dear. Awww what the hell. *hugs*

[@niamh8877]

Claudia this video was so incredibly brave of you to make, and as someone who also suffers with similar mental health issues it meant a lot to hear about someone else's experiences. I truly admire all that you're doing and I hope that your ongoing recovery goes well xx We love you Claudia

[@Ineharnia]

I'm going to check your video every day for the next week and report any trollish comments I can find.

[@stacybear9971]

You are brave. Thank you for sharing. You're the best my love

[@SAMANTHAKAYP]

I am so proud of you honey xx I found this video when I looked up stomach pumping after an overdose, when I was contemplating suicide and wanted to know what would happen if I failed, and I just want to thank you! You are a big part of the reason I changed my mind. You are so brace and such an inspiration! I truly hope you are doing better now, two years later. I wish you all the best xx

[@lucassilva33]

I'm so glad u're ok, hearing this made me really upset even though i do not know u personally. I think u are incredibly stong and brave to make a video so soon after. I did a similar thing half a year ago and it took me months to talk about it to my closest friends and here u are making a video talking about this horrible experience to thousands of people just 1 day after. Thank u for sharing this with us and i wish u the best of luck in your recovery. People like you are what makes this world a more beautiful place

[@hollyharker3011]

Dearest Claudia, you have all my support. I know It's not easy and every day can be a challenge... stay strong, I wish you all the best. x

[@jennas.6633]

Oh bless you lass. always remember you're not alone. There's millions of people going through the same thing and you've got a very supportive caring family. I've got depression too but I've never been suicidal. I hope you're okay ATM since this video is a few months old now.

[@noelekko]

I'm sending you all my love and all the good vibes possible. I hope you feel better now and that this was indeed a blip you'll be able to cope with and continue forward. I overdosed back in 2012 and it was pretty bad. I went through what you did, where it all came back up and I was shaking uncontrollably. Mom called an ambulance, and on the way to the hospital I passed out. Apparently my heart stopped, but obviously they was able to restart it. I'm glad I was out for most of it and don't really remember much, even the days after (they kept me in the hospital to keep an eye on my heart) are a blur now. My last overdose was back in February. It wasn't as bad, but it was more horrible of an experience because I was awake and aware throughout the whole thing. I was so gone, literally high on the pills I took, thrown from hospital to hospital in just a few hours before they dumped me at the locked ward at the psychiatric hospital. Overall it was a horrible, scary and terrifying experience. From the physical and emotional toll and sensations, to being locked in a concrete room alone. It isn't nice, that's for sure. I'm proud of you, too. You got through this, you're alive now, and we are here for you. (Excuse any weird sentences or the like, I'm dissociating and English isn't my first language.)

[@Blaed13]

I'm glad you're one of those few people who own up to your issues when you say you will. You walk the walk. I'm glad you're not dead, and I look forward to your future videos. Attempted suicide is always a teachable moment and you're very brave for posting this incredibly vulnerable video in the hopes of helping the rest of us.

[@SilentPoet666]

Thank you, this really resonated with me. I almost took some pills last night with a bottle of wine. I'm glad I didn't, and I'm glad you're still alive. You are such an inspiration to me. Please take care of yourself.

[@gillianrosetrease8342]

I think you are an inspiration ♾🎯

[@monicalozano4072]

You're so brave to talk about this. You are my inspiration. Love you! xx

[@abridgedtoofar]

Hi Claudia, I just wanted to say I'm so glad you're still with us. This video was an incredibly brave thing to post and I have so much admiration for your efforts to be as honest with your discussions and responsible with your online image as you can. I hope you get back on track with your recovery and I'm sending you all my love

[@meg5336]

watching this in 2019 for the first time. seeing the uneasiness in you, and hearing the shakiness in your voice, makes me sad. i want you to feel as secure as possible in your mental health.

[@vicky-bd4mm]

You're an inspiration to others including me

[@brooklynapeterson]

I'm glad you're still here Claudia. I love you, and I think you're beautiful and amazing.

[@annie-pz9vt]

Thank you so much for making all of your videos. It's not easy to talk about things like this and I hope you're better now, you are someone to be proud of. Your videos have helped me a lot to have confidence in myself and I couldn't thank you enough. You are a beautiful person and you make the world brighter, your videos are kind and clever and open-minded, and as long as you feel fine and you want to talk to a camera please keep doing it because I'm sure it's helping a lot of people. (Also your Doctor Who videos are great!) Lots of hugs and keep fighting :3

[@luanaramos3844]

You're an inspiration to me, seriously 💚 such a strong, brave woman! I really admire you and your strength.

[@hollyberryfinn]

just wanted to say i'm really proud of you, you're so brave, and you're not alone. xxxxxxxxxxx

[@darbybrown2971]

You are so brave. Thank you for making this video. I've been going through a terrible time also, suicidal thoughts almost every day but I am currently recovering. Anyway, I want to thank you for making this video because no one has really talked about the connection between suicide and your family. It's so hard to explain to my family that I am not trying to hurt them and the guilt that I have for the stress I have imposed on them in not measurable. It was nice to hear you say the same thing - that when you're feeling that low you feel like the only way to escape it is death. It is just fight or flight and nothing really do with selfishness. Thank you Claudia.

[@KosmicKat3000]

Early yesterday morning around midnight I took an overdose of sertraline which is prescribed for me as I've suffered with depression for 6 years and finding this video has helped me realise that I'm not alone and to see how it's affected you has opened my eyes. My mum called an ambulance and they took me up to ED and did the tests but Riding out the meds was horrid it was like a bad trip. I'm still so messed up from it. But your video feels like support in a way. I just want to thank you for being so brave.

[@leevadam6686]

i hope ur better

[@PriscillaBinato]

you're so brave. i'm really glad you survived and really hope you feel better soon. sending all my love and good hopes, all of it. you're amazing, claudia.

[@TheAnonymousThought]

Claudia, I'm glad you're alive. You've been quite the inspiration for me. I completely relate to your experiences. Stay strong

[@Zodliness]

Dearest Claudia, It's good to see you found the strength to share this. Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that's what makes you strong. Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength. Stay brave...

[@soundtracktomylife92]

Claudia, you are so strong. Ignore the trolls, I am so glad you make these honest, personal videos. They mean so much to me and I'm sure that they help so many people going through similar things. I never comment on videos, but this one just made me want to tell you how amazing you are, love you loads

[@hailey5141]

i’m five years late, but thank you for making this. this inspired me a lot. stay safe.

[@MrLemex]

I'm mentally ill and not ashamed of it either. I'm glad you are ok - I've been there myself. Hang in there. :)

[@prenticedarlington2720]

Claudia Boleyn Thank you for sharing your story. You really are very good at explaining yourself. I think I share some common mental traits with you. I took an overdose about 13 years ago and wished to be gone. To be honest, there's not much keeping me here now but for the love of my family. Sometimes you calculate the upsides minus the downsides of staying alive, and the downsides win. If you want to talk about this then let me know. PS: I'm really sorry you've gone through this state of mind; my heart goes out to you. I'd really like to help.

[@fleurrose153]

I know this video is old but I just came across it and I just want to say I really hope youre okay. This video is so important because it brings insight to people who are mentally ill aswell as people who arent, into what suicide really is like. I wish you all the strength and happiness and I know that doesnt make a diferance but I really do.

[@Nina-df2sw]

i am so incredibly sorry that you have to go through all this but please always remember that there is always someone left who loves you and it's worth living for that person, even if it's only one. if you love that person, if you love anyone who loves you too, stay alive for them, because suicide never only kills one person. I'm not saying you should have thought of this person in the situation you were when you taking the pills, I'm not judging you and I'm incredibly glad that you're alive but just always keep this someone in mind to prevent you from getting to a point where you don't feel like there's another way out.

[@lqacwaz470]

take care claudia - dunno what else i can say -- just take care please

[@Trysmiling]

In most states in the U.S. if you attempt suicide you are automatically committed to a psychiatric hospital for a in of 72 hours. Do they not do that were you live? I noticed you said you came home from the hospital the next day. I really hope you are doing better sweetie. :)

[@NCC-1701_no_bloody_a_b_c_or_d]

Sadly, that doesn't happen here in england. Depending where you live and who the staff may be seeing to you, they might have a different response, but you can contact crisis to tell them you're suicidal, attempt suicide, and even walk out the hospital during/before treatment all in the same day with no one really giving a damn. You can stick around in hospital and see the psychiatric team and tell them what you've done, why, how bad things are feeling, and they will still send you home rather than get you any help. I once had the psychiatric team tell me it was _my_ responsibility to keep myself safe, whilst in a suicidal state, not theirs. It made no sense. I think it's a funding thing, mental health services don't get enough money to be able to take care of those in crisis, or what would be better would be help before people go into crisis.

[@Trysmiling]

MadnessInSerenity They don't do anything to help you during those 72 hours either here. Just basically make sure you don't hurt yourself, but not really any counseling or anything.

[@georgiaellen8745]

+MadnessInSerenity From past experience, where I live (London) are fucking shit at dealing with mental health issues. They treat you like a child and they don't take you seriously. It's ridiculous.

[@mizfeng1442]

I overdosed only a month ago, and I only spent a night there after tests. I was visited by a therapist from the nearest CAMHS in the morning, and told that if I felt the need to, I could come back to the hospital at any time, even without doing anything stupid first. But with my severe anxiety, there's no way I'd ever ask to go there. My logic fails me when I have episodes, and I tend to just go for the nearest thing that could get me admitted rather than ask. I'd love to be in psychiatric hospital, as stupid as that sounds, because I just need to be away from the world for a little while, and to get professional treatment everyday. But unfortunately, the mental health system in the UK fails many. I've been seeing a therapist since 2013, and my depression has only worsened. Our system could DEFINITELY improve.

[@Trysmiling]

MillySee I understand how you feel completely. We know we need help and even need protection from ourselves sometimes, but our mental health systems in the US and apparently the UK as well are broken and offer little to no assistance. It's sad. They say,"ask for help;" well we are and noone is helping! Hang in there, we can get through this.

[@michaeltuohy3835]

thank god that youre still here, i love watching your videos and think youre so intelligent and i dont want such a huge loss, hope youre feeling much better and i hope you get back on track with your recovery soon :D

[@sunshineflicker6120]

I love you Claudia

[@shaunamalwaetweep]

I'm so, so glad you're okay. It would absolutely break my heart if anything happened to you. Well, hearing all of this has broken my heart as well tbh but dude. I'm just really glad you're able to say it was a mistake. Just... I don't really know what to say so I'll just stop. Take care x