So you’ve got the Ick? | IT’S NOT YOU IT’S ME

The “Ick” is a very very common thing to experience in the dating world!
Someone you were very interested in can suddenly completely put you off. It can be sudden and result from the slightest things - talking loudly, walking funny, even the way they breathe!
But what does it actually mean?
Using self-reflection and awareness one can unpack what feelings the Ick brings up within YOU.
What do you dislike about yourself?
What do you find embarrassing about yourself?
What are you struggling to accept within yourself?
Once this reflection has been done one can realise that the Ick is often a projection of your own insecurities…
Something to think about…
Have you ever experienced the Ick?
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[@GJ-pj4mj]

I always gets the ick when my partner shows love to me or attention. I guess come from My disfunctional childhood and how much I was always rejected even from my dear ones. Thanks a lot!🎉

[@eliausi9696]

Well this was a tough pill to swallow and it makes sense.

[@michpara]

I'm sorry to hear that it was tough to hear this but I'm a firm believer that knowing these things helps us to not make the same choices in future. 🙏🏻💖

[@pauligyarto3179]

Fantastic advice. First time I've heard someone use the name Paul in a positive light too. Thank you.

[@brooklynsbaby4367]

I've found that "the ick" is my gut trying to tell me something since I don't it super often but when I do it's for an important reason. My ex used to give me the ick with his corny/cheesy love talk.

[@michpara]

I agree with you that it is definitely something inside of you telling you to 'look here'. So many of us are disconnected from our gut because we weren't taught how to connect or it wasn't modeled for us in childhood and we don't know how to connect to our needs first and not the needs of others first. Obviously, the ick got to you with your ex-partner as they are now your ex! 🙏💖

[@brooklynsbaby4367]

@@michpara Thank you for yourn answer

[@mikes.4136]

You provide an excellent description and account of the “ick”. I like that you encourage us to ask ourselves questions when we feel it.

[@michpara]

Thanks for your kind comments, they are much appreciated. 🙏🏻💖

[@amiyrbarclift1640]

This was a nice video and I hope more people can watch it and take it in

[@michpara]

Thank you. 🙏🏻💖

[@user-gy9tg7qr9b]

As a man I have on occasion went out with someone I was not overly attracted to. In hindsight I always wind up feeling some sort of ick. Fortunately I quit doing that long ago. If there isnt mutual genuine burning desire one if not both of us will get that ick. It can be difficult at times to guage someones interest level. If Im not 80 to 90% sure that someone I have the hots for feels the same way, I just keep it moving. Let them get their ick somewhere else. When I was about 10 my mother told me its like streetcars...another ones coming in 10 minutes. Thats the correct way to give d ick.

[@michpara]

😂

[@siatastic77]

I love the way you explained such a complicated matter so eloquently and precisely. I loved your videos!

[@michpara]

Thanks very much for your kind comments and I'm so glad that you find my videos helpful. 🙏🏻💖

[@AoibheannDoyle-SoulTherapist]

Brilliant insights. Thank you

[@michpara]

You're welcome and thanks for your kind comments. 🙏🏻💖

[@KingaGorski]

“Love of perfection is no love at all.”

[@tracypark656]

Thanks this helps

[@michpara]

You're welcome. 🙏🏻💖

[@Oluwatoyosi.A]

Hmmm I think I need to redefine a lot of things. Thank youu for your insight ❤

[@michpara]

Glad it was helpful! 🙏🏻💖

[@MS-ns4ki]

I got 2 icks - one I am no longer physically attracted to and the other has insulted me deeply cuz that makes me sad 😕

[@michpara]

Thanks for sharing and I hope that you have created boundaries around them to protect yourself. 🙏🏻💖

[@carolynmurphy3697]

I got the ick with an ex who calls me every day and phones me as soon as i go on Facebook. I was ok (but not happy about the frequency of his contact with me) until one day out of the blue, i got the ick. He kept texting and asked if i was ok. I just didn't want to even respond to his texts anymore. I kust felt sick to the stomach. Ive completely cut him off and i had to be cruel to do it for him to back off

[@michpara]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I'm glad that you put in place a boundary to protect yourself from how you felt when you got his messages. We don't usually get the ick "out of the blue", it's usually that it builds up and up until there is a critical mass of overwhelm that we can't do it anymore. Sending energy for a continued good outcome. 😊

[@maedeordoukhani6583]

Great video but still I believe that I get the ick so fast cause I can see that that little minor thing about them represents something fundamentally in contrast with me. So usually I don’t see it as a bad thing. Idk.

[@michpara]

Thank you for sharing your perspective! It makes sense that those small things can reveal deeper incompatibilities. Recognizing these contrasts early on can actually be a positive thing, as it helps you understand what you truly need in a relationship. Trusting your instincts and knowing what works for you is important. It's not necessarily a bad thing-it's a sign of self-awareness and knowing what aligns with your values and preferences. Thanks for watching and contributing to the conversation! 🙏🏻💖

[@JesiWhyte]

Hmmmmm, what if I get the ick from someone I'm not attracted to or even with. Just someone I interacted with and didn't mind then BOOM, repulsion is at my doorstep with a 13 tonne battering ram? I feel so guilty because I don't think the individual is a bad person 😢.

[@michpara]

That is such a great question. You can get the ick for anyone at any time and it feels, like you say, BOOM! It will either be from familiarity or values and beliefs. Familiarity is when someone reminds you of another person who you like or don't like. For example, you meet someone who reminds you of a friend or family member that you like, so unconsciously your mind/brain will like them more and you will feel more aligned with them and the friendship will flow more easily. If the reverse happens, you will feel some resistance to the person for no obvious reason and it may take time for you to warm up to them or like them at all. Beliefs and values are when someone does something that you don't agree based on your beliefs and values. For example, you go shopping with a friend who you really like and they steal something from the store. They find it funny and enjoy the rush that they get by getting away with it. You are horrified and decide that you never want to see them again because you thought you knew who they were and what their values were but you now realize that you don't know them at all. In a nutshell, we get the ick when someone says or does something that activates us in a way that we don't want to be around them. It doesn't make them a bad person and it might not even make sense, it's a way of filtering who we feel safe spending time with or not. Listen to your gut! These are only 2 examples of how we can get the ick so quickly and I hope that my answer helps stimulate your thoughts and emotions around that relationship with that person. 🙏🏻💖

[@JesiWhyte]

@@michpara Thank you so much for your reply! And yes, your answer does provide some clarity to my situation.

[@amiyang2844]

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