Stanford Open Office Hours: Kelly McGonigal

For all the joy they bring, the holidays can be stressful. In this session of Stanford Open Office Hours, health psychologist Kelly McGonigal, PhD '04, provides advice on navigating the upcoming season with compassion, poise and willpower.
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[@steinijg]

I love how confident and kind she seems! Also very intelligent

[@whynottalklikeapirat]

+Steingrímur Jón Guðjónsson Let's just say she's effing hot

[@ericsierra-franco7802]

@@whynottalklikeapirat 😂

[@natl3118]

I've just found Kelly McGonigal, and i have to say that she is such a well-spoken, intelligent, and confident woman. I love all of her talks!!

[@SuperSetCA]

Very engaging speaker that speaks directly to the issues and makes them easily understood. Hope she does more videos.

[@cathbiancacampanelli]

I wish I could come to Stanford just to meet Dr Kelly McGonigal. I'm a sociology student who has been dealing with stress and just started reading her book "The Upside of Stress" . It has drastically started changing my mindset about it all. I hope to meet her one day and be able to talk in person about all of these topics :)

[@benjaminli21]

Me too!

[@Thestorbob]

This is one of the most intelligence-concentrated, yet inspiring videos I have ever seen.

[@dseer1395]

one day i wish i can sound as eloquent and well spoken as she is.

[@Maria-pu8wc]

dseer13 me too ;)

[@Radean1]

Get a PhD, teach at a university, meditate, practice yoga, enjoy helping others... and you'll be on your way ;)

[@999nines]

Thank you Kelly! I am always inspired by your drive, especially considering your advocation for others, and your dogged pursuit of truth.

[@anthonyaird]

Reading and acting on the information of The Willpower Instinct has changed my life. Thank you.

[@mikegreiling]

Thanks for taking the time to answer my question. I'm honored. I really enjoyed your book and I'm glad to see a candid video where you discuss your personal convictions on the subject.

[@chezzy62]

"May you give yourself the gift of going after what it is you really care about." So beautifully, said. Thanks, Kelly. You are gorgeous inside and out.

[@linkercasas1004]

She's amazing! Very insightful!

[@yoppysoleman9758]

Dear KELLY MCGONIGAL, PHD. I have to admit to my self that your are very clever. Unlike some other authors of psychological books which have written in a way that is less comprehendsive and unrealistic such as Jean Marie Stine (Double Your Brain Power), your writing sounds more realistic, more careful and down-to-earth. Thank you very much for sharing your talents. GBU.

[@learningpsychologynet]

Kelly is a great Speaker. We love her educated insights and share her love for science. :)

[@kiranreman9341]

This worth billions of view

[@libertasomnium9805]

Outstanding life affirming works, Ms. McGonigal. Thank you for you tutelage and best wishes on your continued future endeavors.

[@Maria-pu8wc]

heart and mind talking here! inspiring and very useful information...

[@takurok1453]

Great advice!

[@beldonhuang]

Wonderful

[@eduardomusic8560]

Hello everybody, good morning 🌅! I liked this video much, good work. She's a beautiful and smart woman, and her theories are useful. I would like to read any book written by Kelly. Greetings from Sonora, México 🇲🇽👍🙏

[@marcobpx7579]

Amazing speech. Also you would like to add that a night of full good sleep recharges your body n brain ... amazing how you get perspective of things that might stress you in the evening but how you change your approach when waking up the day next. ;- )

[@davidwilkie9551]

Learning by doing, using Will Power for example, and noticing results, always works if it's genuinely intentional, as stated in the video.

[@stone4251]

very inteligent conclution!

[@1955subraj]

Anything perceived as a stress needs an investigation, most often it is from an open issue, question, problem, thought, idea etc., which has not been answered resulting in a vicious cycle exhausting our valuable energy and resources.

[@The1RobynHode]

Emotions are definitely choices, especially happiness. The grumpy change their mood immediately when someone new knocks on the door--twofaced. If another person can evoke such emotional change, we can strive to have more control over what emotions to pursue. Some people let their emotions rule themselves 24/7 instead of being selective about the emotion to embrace and when to embrace it. Whether nurture and/or nature, men compartmentalize their emotions much more than women as a generalization (not individually of course). The sex (biochemical component) of a person probably plays a great role in how the individual male or female might deal with specific behaviors.

[@stanzavik]

I'm in love

[@tehArcher]

gosh stop changing camera angle

[@rossybossi]

Personally I find that you can substitute the word "prayer" for meditation or mindfulness. There is research that shows prayer or biblical meditation has similar benefits. Not that you'll probably ever hear a professor at Stanford ever admit to it.

[@Maria-yb5ee]

Prayer really is different because you're talking to an imaginary external something whereas mediation and mindfulness is about self-awareness and being in the here and now.

[@dissdad8744]

You have a very primitive understanding of religious rituals. I take it that you are an agnostic or atheist, right? As such, you should be able to analyse the process of prayer from an purely rational standpoint, without involving yourself in a debate about the validity of a religious belief in a higher power. As someone who doesn't believe in a higher power, you should be able to comprehend that ultimately prayer, from a non-religious rational and scientific angle, can be seen as a ritual of self-awareness just as easily as meditation. During prayer, people become aware of their innermost feelings and find relieve by expressing them.

[@Maria-yb5ee]

Your tone is very derogatory. I don't feel like even trying to have a respectful conversation with you. Have a good day.

[@dissdad8744]

Maria O Excuse my French.

[@jackkamonyo4264]

So we all didn't notice how cute she is huh! 😅..

[@brindlebriar]

My willpower broke. I used to have super strong willpower, and I had to use it constantly, because I had no joy in life, but fear of negative outcomes of not doing what I was told was necessary. I hated school, despised my teachers, was outcast by my classmates. And let's face it; from about age 7-30, life is school. That's pretty much it. I had to force myself to get up, to go, to do homework, to reach what they told me to read, to not beat the shit out of verbal bullies unless I could get them to attack me first. Everyday, to live was an act of will power from first grade onward. Mostly I felt extremely oppressed by homework and other long term school projects because I felt they already had 8 hours of my day every day, and then they were demanding I surrender the rest of the hours, but not just my time but also wanted my mind, to not let me choose what to think about. I went to college. What choice was there? To start flipping burgers at McDonalds? I couldn't bear that. I switched schools when I couldn't bear the first one any longer. Then with one semester left before graduation from college, in that interval between semesters, I realized I wasn't going back. I was broken, and I had no more willpower. It was 5 years before I managed to go back and finish that last semester, which took all I had. And I've hardly worked or had a job since. But for me it wasn't a short term depletion of willpower requiring replenishment. It took over a decade to finally break, and when it did, it never came back. I went from someone with unusually strong willpower to someone with almost none. Now it's been another decade and more of listlessness and apathy. For me it is simply a cost/benefit analysis. Nobody jumps into anything unpleasant unless they anticipate a reward. And I no longer perceive rewards for anything. From this moment, right now, all of you reading this, are going to work work work, and work some more, and at the same time, get old, suffer, decreptify, suffer more, and then die in pain and terror. All the while, you'll be motivated by a sense of hope, hope for personal betterment... hope so vague and contrary to everything you know to be true, that you never even articulate it. To articulate it would be to reveal it's falseness and shatter the delusion you need. A sense of progress on the passenger train to death. It's a horrible joke, but that's the only way anything ever gets done. Humans, being sentient, are the only species cursed with the cognition to recognize how truly cruel and pathetic it is to be alive. Fortunately we have the gift of cognitive dissonance, an evolved defense mechanism to keep us from self termination. I'm able to use it somewhat; I play a video game and try not to remember how meaningless is the virtual progression of my virtual character. The only peace is to accept and even look forward to death, the cessation of existence. But all the suffering and hopelessness along the way: that's hard to come to terms with. I fear death, but I fear life more.

[@Renegen1]

brindlebriar I think that makes you an INTP, ever heard of that?

[@humanyoda]

+brindlebriar That sucks... While you are recovering, see if what Noah Elkrief offers (on KZbin) and also the Actual Freedom Trust people offer will ease your outlook on life.

[@thegreatkhali88]

I was in a similar situation, but then luckily I found the purpose in life trough the channel "Basics of Sikhi". It helped me and surely it will help you too.

[@user-gz7fh8vo6e]

Watch some Jordan Peterson!

[@dciking]

Well said, my questions are: Why does it matter that the question came from Facebook? Why did you feel the need to give that bit of information?

[@mikegreiling]

There was a post on Stanford's facebook page where questions were solicited for this video, so naturally many questions would come from there. Sure she could have left that part out, but why do you care so much?

[@stanzavik]

@@mikegreiling He's got Facebook allergy, perhaps.??

[@wendywen24]

I can't believe she's 40 year old. She looks much younger than her age.

[@modo1896]

She was 36 here.

[@morgellonbetancor1453]

interesante pero requiere ese argumento necesita una mejor vision dado que los exenarios que datan estan sujetos a numerosas variables saludos cordiales

[@toddthelion]

wow, Kelly.... your book on Amazon has huge rave reviews while Tony Robbins' falls on it's face! ha! I love Tony Robbins, but I love you too.....Good job.

[@Viriyascybin]

Please change the camera angles more often, I can't sustain my attention when it's persistent too long.

[@ElenaKomleva]

How do you meditate, anyway? O.o

[@TaggingTechnician]

This is how I meditate, I hope it helps you. I create a ritual, whereby I become very focused on my posture and breath. I start in a clear flat floor space by placing a sitting pillow, then placing candle incense that smells like sage, and turn off all distractions in the room. Slowly, I sit on the pillow in a lotus pose, close my eyes, then in my mind I visualize how my body rises and falls with each breath. I block all thoughts and focus hard on the breathing. The mindfulness of concentrating on breathing: taking long and deep inhales through the nose, holding it for a second, then exhaling slowly and as completely as possible, then pausing a second before the next inhale. For me it is the conscious effort of becoming focused on breathing that calms and soothes my mind, which seems to fight the effort at first, with a barrage of thoughts, but eventually the rituals evolves into a routine and the mind becomes cooperative. I wish you well.

[@ElenaKomleva]

TaggingTechnician Thanks!!

[@benjaminli21]

Thank you so much!

[@davidwiles8234]

interesting

[@frawldog]

Save Stanford wrestling f

[@chadleyb79]

I can see heat waves around her..

[@gonebabygone4116]

Kelly is brilliant and so is Jane, her game designing fraternal twin with all the wild blonde hair. So many mouth breathers in comments here, you guys are just sad.

[@AzimuthTao]

The video editing makes this unwatchable.

[@jasonbourne7827]

She needs to get more rest

[@jacobwilliams5271]

I wonder if she is a narcissist? You can't be this pretty and this intelligent and not think you are the greatest thing ever.