Stop fighting for feminism | Minh Thuy Ta | TEDxBaDinh

[@AlissonSiri]

That woman nailed it. Real strength is being able to show your emotions, to recognize your weaknesses and understand you need someone with you. That applies to both women and men.

[@joer8854]

My mother believes that you be the person you are and you will attract the people who match that personality. She's a strong powerful woman, stunningly so. People who meet her are shocked by how the world just seems to conform to her because of the confidence she has is that powerful. She's not that way because of feminism or because something someone did allows her to be that way. She's that way because she decided a long time ago she was going to be herself and who cares about anyone else. The thing that shocks me is that women want to be like my mother and think that my father is with her despite her strength and confidence in herself. It's stunning how they just don't get any of it. They don't understand her or him, their relationship and who they are and why. She doesn't care what you think. It's irrelevant to my mother what anyone thinks because it's her life and she's going to live it how she wants and she believes in herself because that's what matters to her. She's not concerned with what people think or how they react to her. It's that simple for you to have that same confidence and strength. My Father is a complete paradox to feminists. They think he's weak and powerless. They act like he has no other choice but to go along with my mother. They think he's less of a man and she's more of a woman. They think those gender roles in my parent's relationship are reversed. They think that because they don't get it. My Father doesn't deal with my mother being Powerful and confident. He's proud of it and admires her for it. He loves her personality and finds it amusing that people don't understand. It's not about people making the world ok with powerful women so women can be powerful. That's the problem with feminism. Be that person and the world will conform to you. My father is with my mother because she's the kind of woman he wants in his life. She's with him because she loves how he adores and supports her. She's not with a man who beats her because she won't allow it. She doesn't try to conform to the world, she becomes the person she wants to be and the world conforms to her.

[@redpillsatori3020]

Alisson Siri ..vulnerability and openness is great..if you’re a woman

[@tc3628]

There isn't one person in this world you can't live without.

[@dabossman5650]

I mean shii not everyone needs a partner but at least a friend

[@dabossman5650]

​@@redpillsatori3020 To an extent it can be dope if u a dude too sometimes-Some of the best art/entertainment we get from that happening

[@stephanjones8424]

My wife and I share time and responsibilities. We help each other. Who cares who does the dishes? If I'm busy, she does them. If she is busy, I do them. We are much more concerned about making sure our children are raised with love and respect. This is how we need to treat all humanity. With love and respect.

[@amazingbro6723]

Me too

[@dieabsolutegluckskuche5174]

Statistics are showing that the more you do housework as a man the more likely the relationship breaks apart.

[@Molly_K28]

@@dieabsolutegluckskuche5174 evidence? Can you give me a link

[@dieabsolutegluckskuche5174]

@@Molly_K28 YT banned links 2 weeks ago I think.

[@1ham6s_]

@@Molly_K28 I was skeptical when I read the comments but there are indeed some articles written about that. However as I looked into them further, it's said that the causes are miscommunication, misunderstanding and modern beliefs instead of gender equality. You can google it.

[@gtanerd1999]

She is stating, as i interpret it, that whatever you choose for your life, make sure YOU CHOSE IT and that today's media and standards didn't shove it down your throat, she's also saying that feminism strikes her as redundant and it only fights for itself as a movement and not for anything else.

[@mdtapilatu]

"It only fight for itself",doesnt that sounds really female by nature..lol

[@hailees8464]

That funny bc last time I check feminists believe that I as a conservative women who is very anti- third wave feminism hate myself bc I am anti Feminism.

[@amaryllisnightingale6309]

@@mdtapilatu and men don't fight for themselves maybe? Don't be sexist, humans are like that

[@entertain7us148]

I think so, I swear the title is just clickbait. she's basically just pointing out the very obvious truth that feminism, like any good cause, get co-opted by corporations and celebrities purely for self-aggrandisement and profit. I don't think you should write off 'feminism' entirely, because the advancement of women's rights has to be pluralistic, not monolithic. the issues she's raising, i see them more as an issue with capitalism than with feminism.

[@hailees8464]

entertain7us14 modern day feminism is cancer.....

[@benjerryhaagendaz]

Feminists in this comment section be like－ *puts hand on ted speakers shoulder* "What she meant is..."

[@gkool4655]

LOL.... priceless. Femsplaning???

[@von6413]

This is so true 🤣

[@inquisitionagent9052]

@@gkool4655 was just about to say that. Damn you beat me to it!

[@larsgadell5016]

@MGTOW & Bitcoin is Freedom Perhaps but why are you here at all it is a woman talking.

[@Dikshaleeminho]

@MGTOW & Bitcoin is Freedom yup if you want to cure aids you have to study it

[@karaloop9544]

To all the comments that said she didn't "get what feminism is". Well, nobody does, really. Ask 100 feminists what feminism is about, and you get at least as many opinions on what it "really is". It's woefully underdefined and allows just about everything on the planet to be subsumed under it. If it were only about equal rights and opportunities, well, that would be egalitarianism.

[@mistahsusan2650]

the biggest problem is what really is "equal" and at what point is that reached? is "equal" everyone behaving the same? is it an equal or proportional distribution throughout society?

[@panhradu]

Usually u will get answers about what their selfish needs are. :D

[@laibawahab7055]

agreed.

[@SarahTochhawng]

Ask a hundred people to define socialism, capitalism, marxism, fascism, liberalism, conservatism, they'll give you different definitions, they'll offer different biased interpretations, their suggestions on how the world works according to each ideology will be markedly distinct from one another. your point is moot.

[@destinychild4659]

Lots of people understand exaxtly what it is. It's called feminism for a good reason. More than anything else, it's main purpose is to fight equality for women. 😎 😎 😎

[@svenolle690]

You're all so quick to say that she doesn't understand feminism, maybe you're the one not understanding what she's trying to say.

[@SWOgottaGO]

RAPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@amouramarie]

I understand what she's saying. She's just just misinformed. It happens to Tedx presenters, too.

[@allenpeyerl2095]

Good point. TedTalks doesn't just let anyone on the stage.

[@taloutezero]

stella rawr She isn't glorifying victimhood, that's why they say she doesn't know what she's talking about.

[@JockoJonson17]

She's got some great arms.

[@presitacs]

Reading the comments clearly show that Min has been misunderstood in her talk. What she is trying to say in her talk is that whatever your thoughts are about feminism, make sure that when the world is flipped (as in for example men are the ones being discriminated against) that they also have an equal opportunity. In other words, it's not a men vs women situation. But your ability as a human being to be whoever you want, without any outward pressure or unequal treatment by the society.

[@jcjensenllc]

How do you know what she is TRYING to say. You are simply interpreting her based on your view on the subject - rose colored glasses.

[@godofnothing428]

Simply Human isn’t that what everyone who is against her is doing?

[@saumyapanigrahi1717]

@@jcjensenllc Normal Human beings can understand what she is saying .

[@saumyapanigrahi1717]

@Don Wallacewhat is wrong with us is just listen to people and their point of views without judging them instantly . You may take it in or not.

[@ZenMaster_]

femsplaining

[@trequor]

This woman is tough as nails and extremely wise

[@khav11]

vietnam chicks are a lot tougher than all other asian countries, on par with the fillipinos

[@yuuriyuuri2788]

@@khav11 I don't know how you can call her is a "vietnam chick", is there anything wrong in your opinion? She's a well-known MC in Vietnam. Please respect a woman who can go to this stage and gets full of courage to tell her story.

[@Something0102]

@@yuuriyuuri2788 He is complementing, most Asian countries have very feminine women. That is what he meant

[@hoangduythanh1540]

@@khav11 Because Vietnam men are weak these days. We used to have strong mens, but they was in my grandfather generation.

[@ngoclannguyen7651]

Thuy Minh opened my mind. I used to got it wrong: women don't need man and they should go to work rather than staying home and doing chores. Now I see that, if a woman wants to sacrifice her career for her family, that is her choice. We should respect it instead of telling her what to do. Don't use your scale to measure others. Thank you Thuy Minh. I'm from Vietnam, too

[@kuzhali.b6114]

thank you

[@Xanaduum]

The point is they should be able to choose either option, freely - without family, friends or the government judging them.

[@AminaPhilosophy]

And when she sacrifices her career, takes care of the family and the husband decides to divorce her for someone else…what should the woman now do? You people fail to acknowledge many women’s reality. Men, in a patriarchal society, abuse their social position and objectify women.

[@boredverybored4649]

Some people don't want to spend their lives with another person, and it's not sad, or lonely. You still have family and friends. Just because it doesn't fit the norm of a happy end, it's not a bad ending. Pittying people who don't want to have a significant other is pressuring them to marry and is not a healthy decision

[@amaryllisnightingale6309]

Totally agree. That single point in her video completly ruined it for me

[@yvonneheuberger8740]

I think her point was that feminists shame women who chose to live a simpler life

[@lordbaronvin8866]

But to add that you said you will always have family. When we’re born we generally have parents, grandparents, aunts uncles etc. as you age you will start to lose theses family members. It’s easy to say you can handle it when you have family; but then when their gone it becomes different. Children replace the lost family members. And what’s best for children is to have traditional family homes with both their parents.

[@amaryllisnightingale6309]

@@lordbaronvin8866 well yes, life can be lonely. But some of us deals with it anyway.

[@lordbaronvin8866]

Amaryllis Nightingale 👍. Like the original said pressure isn’t good. Sometimes you have to choose the best of a bad lot. And the choice is the individual’s.

[@thetertinator9562]

Strength isn't showing the world you don't need anyone else, it's being able to admit when you need help.

[@GrimgoreIronhide]

That's called humility, not strength. The whole reason you ask for help is to increase your strength, meaning that if you ask for it, you likely don't have enough for the given situation.

[@bennu547]

Sometimes things in life are just too hard to face alone and you do need support. It’s not shameful to ask for help. And like she said, it’s very lonely if you want to be on your own and don’t need no man. Having a partner doesn’t make you less of an individual. It just means you have someone in your life that loves and supports you

[@GrimgoreIronhide]

@@bennu547 That's called having humility, not strength. The same way I dont look at someone successfully resisting the temptation to eat to much pie and say "Wow that person sure is Chaste!" Your definition of words is wrong.

[@ntxhaispaaj]

We can’t be SMEs in all things, but specialized tasks can be delegated. Everyday tasks for essential things should be mostly mastered by an individual

[@agquaproductions9361]

Lmao naive.

[@loreleicoffin3889]

I agree with her. Feminism means different things to different feminists, and there are some feminists that say you have to be a certain way, and Minh Thuy argues that those feminists are influential and you don't have to be the way they want you to be and you can decide not to be a feminist because of them. There are other feminists who don't say you have to be a certain way, but she's not talking about their feminism. But she would be okay with you being that kind of feminist; most importantly, be yourself and be happy with who you are.

[@lais.v.m]

Lorelei Coffin I you look at the definitions of each “type” of feminism, you’ll find out that the most freeing and inclusive is intersectional feminism. It’s literally PEOPLE fighting for HUMAN RIGHTS and only against the system who privileges some people.

[@dresposure]

Feminism is basically man haters fighting for female superiorirty masquerading as equal right organisation.

[@elminhovmoller923]

@@dresposure ur a loonie

[@Xanaduum]

​@@lais.v.mintersectionality has blindspots depending on who uses it.

[@dianaj8153]

You knew by women saying things like "even though I'm a girl i still can..." is like saying that girls can't do those things and is giving off the wrong impression

[@luciolekaszkasz3261]

But if we're saying things like that it's only to defend ourselves in front of men who say we're not capable

[@maxd11111]

Luciole kaszkasz then just man up and get on with it. No need to be obnoxious about it.

[@luciolekaszkasz3261]

@@maxd11111 you can't just admit sexism? Why must I get on with it? I don't want to, I want things to change and man admit their sexism

[@BluePhoenix_]

@@luciolekaszkasz3261 you know it's pretty sexist to assume all men are sexist...

[@luciolekaszkasz3261]

@@BluePhoenix_ yeah that's true sorry, I didn't want my words to sounds like that. I'm just kind of hurt by what this person said because I don't think fighting for my cause is obnoxious, so I answered this, I was angry and sad because of his words

[@tacoconch7678]

Them triceps.

[@nayeb2222]

Damn

[@lfos31]

Damn right, woa

[@berserkirclaws107]

Triceps 🤔 ... What are triceps? 🤣🤣🤣

[@stanhogenelst2555]

@@berserkirclaws107 the muscle on the back of your upper arm.

[@berserkirclaws107]

@@stanhogenelst2555 yeah that's a mystery to me🤣🤣🤣

[@annieho4605]

I agree with Minh because i was in that situation before. Everybody said that i am strong woman with intelligence, but they did not know i don't wanna choose to be like this. I want someone love me and i love them, share the life, share my pressure like i will.

[@Thor-Orion]

In America now dating is SO awful. Tinder has destroyed young romance.

[@CzekoladaTrufla]

But feminism is not telling you that u have to be lonely and strong. It gives you a choice. You can be with someone because of love instead of survival need.

[@lisejl]

Personally, I think that she was trying to talk about how the media's version of feminism and what feminism is turning in to is "I need no one, I'm strong and powerful and not frillly or feminine" I agree that this shouldn't be how feminism is. It does make up a large majority of what we think of feminism. But that doesn't mean that represents all of feminism. Feminism shouldn't be stopped because there are problems with it, we should just adjust our view of it. There are plenty of feminists who are stay at home moms, who are happily married. Feminism is much more than what she's trying to talk about.

[@elegantlyawkward9981]

I agree! Thank you for saying this.

[@yeetman4953]

MGTOW Forever MGTOW For Life well i stepped on cancer

[@dogloverxox9125]

MGTOW Forever MGTOW For Life umm and u think all women are misandrists? Well take a look at yourself you're a misogynist.

[@ZenoDovahkiin]

Or you could just be an egalitarian, like normal people. We don't need feminism.

[@valken666]

Nobody should beat nobody, men or women. Feminism only protects women.

[@ngoclinhtrangvo1921]

I think she made it kinda clear . You guys say that she didnt understand feminism , when in fact , she is trying to tell people not to think about feminism that way - the way you think she think about feminism . Feminism in Vietnam is understood in a different way , whether it's wrong or not - femism doesnt just have 1 definition does it , you need to be aware of consequences from your way of thinking . Tho I think she has another point at the beginning and there're not many connections between the two .

[@blessingpilot4epps961]

For all the boys in the world I am truly sorry for what men had done to women. And I totally agree with you.

[@blessingpilot4epps961]

True. We should all treat eachother with respect and love eachother. But that includes looking at both genders mistakes.

[@justglueonlyglue5478]

google says it has one definition. But I agree, feminism is not what it used to be. It's 3rd wave feminism that has ruined a lot of the media.

[@doubtit]

Mekhi Epps i think you need to rewrite that, and see what you messed up

[@achu.b9168]

Feminism only has one definition which is pretty simple, equality for women.

[@ACrazyAngel]

"make sure that's you" this sentence is the whole point of her talk!!!

[@danidkg4071]

this is so true: feminism isn't about men hate or trying to be strong all the time, it's about *equality*, *tolerance* and *giving everyone the same chances in life* and *giving everyone the chance to make a choice in life*

[@fillerarc]

I love how she wants us to have a choice over our actions. That we can do something because we want to and not because the society says that it is what a modern woman or man has to do.

[@buseira]

For those who liked to jump to conclusions, get the message that she is trying to say. And that message is, when you do something, make sure its truly from inside you and not just because of outside influence.

[@gordonbarnes7005]

Yes, thank you! Someone who can view a message objectively without attributing motive.

[@mahlina1220]

"The Secret to Happiness is No Secret: Be Happy. Be Yourself." AWESOME!!

[@maxmustermann9587]

_"People are unhappy because they don't see that they're happy"_ - from a source i don't remember

[@steffennielsen5942]

i agree. stop fighring for feminism and start working for equality. men women and children face very different rights issues and disadvantages. putting these complex issues in a box where one gender represents the constant opressor and another gender is the indisputably opressed offers no real understanding solutuons. and is blind to half the problems. femism originally was the answer. voting rights etc was very obvious causes where women lacked rights and fighting for equality automaticly meant fighting for womens rights. but that is history in the western world. both genders are disadvantaged on different aspects and equality is ot autimaticly womens rights anymore. its mire complex. and feminism is unable to manage that. because for 100+ years feminism has assumed that women lacked rights and men lacked nothing. that mindset is at the core of feminism and prohibits us from aknowledging issues that run in contrast to that mindset. on that premis equality can never happen.

[@susanahughes9172]

Steffen Nielsen femenism is equality wtf, its the belief of the equality of the genders. Get your definition right

[@-hello6177]

"of the genders" added = everything the person said has no meaning, susana u fing genius you just broke the damn system

[@FernandaRibeiro-zu8zj]

Search for HeforShe, it is a good perspective of feminism for people understand more about some questions in the movement.

[@lais.v.m]

Steffen Nielsen feminism = equality

[@shfnnsxhsjna1377]

Steffen Nielsen feminism is equal rights for men and women

[@kelsiboone2350]

To me, feminism is about letting women live freely, the way they want to, not being trapped into doing only what is deemed attractive and acceptably feminine. The same goes for men- we need to put less emphasis on being attractive for other people and more on actually caring for others and connecting with them. You don't need to sacrifice who you are/who you want to be/ what you are capable of in order to loved, that's a major point of feminism in my opinion.

[@Ro19303]

Honestly, it was a very unclear and badly structured talk. She kept giving examples that were not matching a main clear argument, so it is left to many opened interpretations.

[@woomap1124]

agreed

[@yikeslikes4457]

oh, you, of small mind

[@yasmin-lx4kb]

in the comments many people rephrased what she was trying to say in a better manner, check those out

[@anne5761]

well its quite obvious English isnt her first language not to mention that standards of communication are vastly different between different cultures.

[@Rawyalty220]

Ehh if u have logic u can understand her points. She’s very wise listen up

[@2..D]

I think this talk is great, It's almost tragic that I feel like her core message is lost on most listeners.

[@Jamhael1]

She became strong because of necessity, not because she wanted...

[@huongmija5991]

I have to watch this twice, as her points are a bit hard to get, her speech is unclear maybe because there're too many examples without the conclusion of each point. so far I found her idea's not wrong. a part of it is that the media overrated femenism, at the same time have conflict with it, like what she said, anyone can turn into a feminist in the eye of media just because she's considered as "different" according to the "typical girl" type. at the same time, those celebrities still have to please media, to get in diet and "be a perfect picture", or else they'll lose their place. And, I consider this as the main point, it is to live as the human you are, not as a feminist just because you are a woman, not as a gentle, shy, as a picture of an ideal girl because people expect you to be, but the person you are, for yourself. her point wasn't to tell us to actually stop fighting for feminism, but to stop being trapped in a concept, going to a path that we don't even understand the meaning and purpose in a blinded way. I'm sorry if I annoyed anyone, keep in mind that this is just what I see and think, I don't mind sharing my thought, and nor mind to read others' view. I'm not to good at English so if there's any mistake, please forgive me :)

[@serenaeldahdah2517]

Hương Mija 👌👌

[@farzana4302]

I agree with you, think that that's what she meant as well.

[@GuiDduck]

they didn't overrated it. it's just profitable as any other ideology that carry fake morals as equity

[@amaryllisnightingale6309]

The title of the video is just not right then.

[@kun-san2122]

Synopsis: Don't do things to someone else which you don't want to happen to yourself.

[@sabrinabgomes2637]

Sister, feminism is our fight. Do not let anyone frighten you.

[@roxyndra]

Regardless of gender, we all want someone to lean on, but many of us also want our alone time.

[@robinlehnerd1475]

Her comment about alone time is only accepted for women. Men, in the same position (working) are scorned and disrespected for "not spending enough time with the kids," even though they usually work more hours than women and spend less time on themselves.

[@daveycrockett6781]

Fine, because as a man I much prefer to be alone than take anymore grave risks with the so called fairer selfish gender.

[@leahpatts6007]

What's she saying is: You don't need to be alone to be strong. You don't need to solely think about yourself and your cause to be successful and strong. Everyone has the same problems regarding expectations and anxiety. Live your life loving one another, and showing compassion.

[@markgordon2660]

This lady rocks women should not be against man and should not be against women we need each other

[@markgordon2660]

And I'm not talking about the original feminism what's it become

[@sharonkadach6900]

I totally agree that the truly strong women or even just people in general are the ones who know they are soft, know they are weak, know that they sometimes need someone, and allow themselves to feel through their emotions. If you truly understand yourself you will be able to understand others more, and this makes it easier to be kind I think 🥰 We should focus more on being kind to others instead of fighting against them because you disagree on one thing or another.

[@Rawyalty220]

Basically a women with self awareness is a strong women not a women trying to be something that she’s not...independent

[@matthewvillarde5601]

What she said was true. Many women think that men are intimidated by a woman making the same thing he does. But in all actuality, that's a plus for us. Having to do nothing outside of some house chores and keep getting fed is a blessing. But that doesn't mean we wont do what men usually do. It's just that having an easier life is more preferable for everyone, regardless of anything.

[@rathkhan1114]

This woman is intelligent and not manipulate by mainstream media..

[@Sana-df3qw]

"Make sure that's you." That got a bit lost in our society indeed thank you.

[@ibrahimomar2335]

Is it ok to be confused by this? Or am I just high ?

[@MotswanaTota-012]

U just high 😂

[@AdaoraOA]

I'm confused too

[@nobodycares3953]

expired weed

[@deirdrerdj]

Her presentation was not terribly coherent.

[@laobok]

Hard to pay attention. She sounds like she's just talking, not speaking. And yes, there's a difference.

[@jaredneizel9547]

I just came here for triggered comments

[@-hello6177]

you really sound like akame, doesn't give a f to anything

[@jemmanicole6175]

Babbipangang me too 👌🏻

[@thecreativemillenial]

There are none

[@nirritall131]

Same

[@kyubeyz_7062]

I’m finding none

[@VladVsWoke]

Ahaha love how feminists disliked this video just because she dared to say something against their doctrine👏

[@sushantalalbanerjee198]

Drops Vlad TV

[@sushantalalbanerjee198]

TV

[@calmeshera4131]

I don’t think she dared to say something against their doctrine per say, she just put the whole ideology into perspective.

[@Kyle-jb7dc]

@@calmeshera4131 to some feminists that's the same thing. if it doesn't blindly follow the way they want it to entirely the way they want it too than it's wrong.

[@doanmyanh]

well if she has some valif points I wouldn't disliked it per se

[@lightninghell4]

0:25 who else checked if something was randomly plugged into their computer?

[@NocturnEternal]

lightninghell4 I did that twice only to realize that I was watching this on my phone and my PC and laptop were long shut off.

[@justadeadlittlebean7833]

ayye samee

[@bigiasonuoc]

I think she's trying to say that we should not categorize feminism as "a woman who is strong and independent, and she doesn't need no man to live her life." Feminism doesn't come in a fixed form, it comes in various ways. And all of them should have the mutual goal of fighting for equal opportunities between women and men and eliminating the inequalities, not making women superior to men. The speech itself was clumsily put together because she went from one point to another real quick without really explaining much. Still koodos for the effort and the main idea.

[@ngocquenguyen1561]

Yep! Your life, your choice. What we should fight is injustice, and it varies case by case. As long as a person is free to choose and doesn't rob others of their right to choose, there're no problems that need to be fixed.

[@narayankabra4664]

i do disagree with some of the things she said but this was a really powerful talk . hats off to her

[@urban_rose4096]

The reason why I don't follow feminism anymore is bc it shifted from gender equality to female domination. That goes against the same human rights we were fighting to get back, but the points she made was just more motivation

[@thesoliloquist1940]

Women superiority over men is called misandry..

[@urban_rose4096]

@@thesoliloquist1940 wow..I didn't know there was a term for it. Thanks👀😅

[@nindyfarrel1322]

Your comment is the same reason that i dont follow "(toxic) modern feminism" AKA pushing men to the lower hierarcy they once were in rather than erasing that hierarcy for the sake of equality.

[@maiao7075]

That's not feminism, they just use its name and we accept it. That's the problem.

[@PerJustert]

Here in Norway, the liberation of women and the struggle for equality in the 70's was dominated by militant groups of women misogynists and it was a struggle with trench polemics where equality came out of focus. It is extremely important that today's neo-feminists do not get stuck in it the same trench, but rather aims at a collaboration between the sexes, instead of fighting a battle against each other. But it requires that we men take our responsibility and come on the field to formulate our demands for equality. After all, feminism is as much about men's rights as women's.

[@user-bw8yn3zr1s]

omg I love her toned arms.

[@MikeKojoteStone]

Now, this is somebody who's got a point. I may not agree 100%, but she's got a point.

[@0thepyat0]

I liked it for the can of worms it opened. I think she has guts to ask questions against "the will to truth" and to look at this term "feminism" bearing in mind that it was not created in a vacuum. Feminism can serve as a haven for those who have experienced male violence and domination to where women can claim it as "the answer" when it in fact only lends some answers while not necessarily addressing others. One can get stuck in it to where it actually holds one back from transcending one's past. Certainly it can help frame a picture, but it's not at all the whole picture. Minh is not simply the victim of domestic violence, although some might start and end there and although some may label all her actions henceforth as responses to that experience when in fact she doesn't wish to be circumscribed by any agenda at all. Gotta say, I get that rejection of reductionism. Like all labels, the term "feminism" itself can be exploited by myriad agendas. So-called feminism can serve as a selling tool on Madison Avenue, putting forth this mythological Wonder Woman schema in order to market what in fact has little if anything to do with celebrating women as women, in which case all that has happened is that big money has found yet one more avenue by which to make us feel inadequate and thereby to buy what we really don't need. Feminism can be hoisted as a straw man for people who feel grief and rage over the state of males in society today, the lostness of boys and malaise of men, the abysmal suicide statistics on men these days, which is real, and the use of men by power-hungry or wounded women to rise to the top, a phenomenon which was paraded about just this past election, where sexism got screamed at every turn until the term grew largely empty of significance. So like so many terms as encompassing as feminism, it has become a sort of old woman in the shoe who when supper is demanded beats her kids and sends them to bed hungry. You have militant feminists, commercial feminists, dystopian feminists, ivory tower feminists, historical feminists, Steel Magnolia feminists, and feminists who think you cannot be a true feminist unless you are also a lesbian, an atheist, etc., etc. With every use the term gets stretched so that to nail what a feminist at core is turns into a hunt for snark. Anybody can use it to mean basically anything that doesn't seem to go particularly well for men, and that's a great pity. The dichotomy inherent in the term "feminism," I think, may prove its Achilles' heel. That's actually why the term may carry with it a decided expiration date, to be subsumed under gender equality. Whatever breaks men breaks women. Whatever breaks women breaks men. Whatever truly builds up, truly builds up. We are not at all antipodal to each other. Unfortunately, this revelation has rendered much of the term "feminism" a red-headed stepchild of sorts blamed for our blindness or unwillingness to see this basic fact.

[@claudiag.9307]

The Pyat Kudos

[@markganus1085]

your premises are flawed. you're watching what women say rather than what they do.

[@groovegong6778]

your first two lines intrigued me, then I clicked view full reply and I was like "well... nvm"

[@IronZio]

@ groove gong Hahaha, same here. :D

[@thatsterroristsbro7855]

I thought what you said was really interesting. Social processes don't take place inside a vacuum. So disadvantage and equality certainly don't. If female disadvantage has been and is 'real' then it is reasonable to assume that some school of thought will arise to confront it. The doctrine and aim of this thought school also won't exist within a vacuum either though. Is like any other philosophy. The disadvantage may be real, but this isn't what actually drives social action; we are socially constructed to see female disadvantage as real and a problem, we don't see it as a problem by virtue of facts revealed to us by science. Feminism enters. The term will change, people may instead adopt 'gender equality' or some other philosophy that has feminism as a component, but the cultural loading will move with it, whatever it is transformed into. It will take on the cultural load.

[@shanebaird543]

We need humanism. Men and woman have there own unique struggles. We are hyper focused on woman's issues and then men are ignored or belittled when they speak up about their issues.

[@axmed1987]

Its mens fault that they gave women voting right🤑🤑🤑🤑

[@hedgefundphil]

humanism is poison

[@AGElite87]

This woman first language is not English but her made more sense than alot of English speaking women about feminism.

[@MrAhuapai]

We need to try and ignore any statement that says "women need to … or men need to… " As humans our experiences are so vastly different as to render thee sorts of generalisations unhelpful.

[@reenujose4361]

"feminism is about having a choice"

[@bullshark3771]

reenu jose yes a choice of dying alone or punishing men for being born men

[@yikeslikes4457]

Hey now, try to understand her criticisms as well.

[@overwicket1339]

@@bullshark3771 same I can say for masculinist people too

[@panicrout5209]

manxiety seriously, so we experience anxiety differently now?

[@unusunus4613]

mavishill True feminists don't make up those words as they tear the two sexes apart.

[@sekkusupisutoruzu]

Orlogskapten Egalitarians*

[@unusunus4613]

Ted Scrub It's the same thing with a different name. Feminists strive for equality.

[@sekkusupisutoruzu]

Yeah, how many years ago though? The dictionary says equality like it first was, now feminists are actually female supremacists.

[@katiec2051]

All these comments are like "but muh patriarchy" "but muh oppression" "but muh feminism" and I'm dying

[@hollyxr5p671]

I know all these people commenting on the relevant topics to the video?? Weird...

[@mycattookmykfc1488]

Kitschy Witchy the patriarchy is not real

[@HPGIRL1109]

you forgot "but muh wage gap"

[@user-dp3qh2rw8x]

we get it, you're a "pick me" girl

[@LMWelsh-oh5iu]

I can't stop laughing at your comment!! love it

[@personalyt6728]

She clearly doesn't have the best command of the English language, but I understood what she was trying to say. FEMINISM isn't the problem, MAINSTREAM FEMINISM is.

[@sushiroll3795]

It's honestly so refreshing to see someone else who criticizes some parts of feminism without discarding the movement entirely. I've recently been trying to research different gender rights movements and that cult-like attitude has really been getting on my nerves. Thank you for this enlightening TEDx Talk.

[@NamTran2k8]

Remember the time when feminism was fighting for actual gender equality? Yep. I miss those days too.

[@kimtaeco]

So releatable

[@selenophile5256]

So me too movement getting justice for Larry Nassar victims both boys and girls isn't good ?

[@rupaali11]

Minh Thuy Ta (VJ Thuy Minh) is a journalist, TV host, a columnist, an author and a single mom.

[@inesamato3660]

To some people in the comments' section and the Tedx talker: do you remember the initial definition of feminism? - the belief in social, economic and political equality of the sexes

[@yikeslikes4457]

Just because it was defined as such doesn't mean that it hasn't morphed into something else.

[@purplethunder3577]

The problem is that radicals hijack terms that sound innocuous.

[@thesoliloquist1940]

Actually it is about obtaining liberty for women.. it isnt necessarily for equality.. But as soon as a womans liberty subverts a mans, then what you follow is misandry not feminism

[@raunaksinghdhanjal4168]

Feminism shouldn't mean exchange of roles but rather equal responsibility and division of roles. Her talk kind of makes sense, people don't understand what it means.

[@maxmustermann9587]

It means leaving feminism behind in favor of humanism.

[@charlesdiaz4594]

even tho her microphone kept glitching n her english is still improving she stood her ground and didn't give up

[@Menelik.videos]

10:48 "I think they love it". Absolutely true for most of us!

[@laurenmontgomery4111]

My mother is from Vietnam and she always talks of how it was to be so poor, how she and her sisters would eat would wash the rice only to have the sand from the rice gnash against her teeth hurting them to no end. I am glad she and her sisters escaped poverty and now my mom is living in a half- million dollar home and her sisters live in million dollar homes. They made it to the top.

[@batner]

8:16 yes, successful men are required to have a family in any culture. Women also pick from the top.

[@CarrollLiddell]

Women wait at the finish line and go off with the winner.

[@MH-cv5ye]

80% of women seek the top 20% of men. Men, go MGTOW and preserve your wealth, health, and happiness.

[@batner]

@Jennifer Boehm Maybe that is the reason men like polluting cars. To take revenge on nature.

[@hailees8464]

batner so women don’t drive😂😂 you loon

[@batner]

@@hailees8464 not everything is about women. Neither was my comment. :-) You self-centered dummy. :-)

[@jamesrichardson4965]

It's nothing more elusive than an obvious fact. She was spot on.

[@samt4468]

I think her ideas could've been clearer. Kind of confusing at parts but I think I understood what she was trying to say. Very interesting ideas and really broadened my thinking on the topic of feminism

[@ChibiBoxing]

BY THE WAY THOSE ARMS GIRL NGGG JESUS

[@TheMABExperience]

When she asked "Are you happier?" the response from the crowd said it all. 😂💯💪🏾

[@eloise7662]

I also kinda didn't like the way she said "i'm clearly not a lesbian" as if that was a bad thing as well

[@skaruts]

+Eloise Freiin von Gienanth I believe she said _"clearly"_ as in _"I had boyfriends and got pregnant with one of them, which is not a very lesbian thing to do"_.

[@Bobavakian42069]

Eloise She simply doesn't want to be seen as something she isn't. I am not a man, and I do not want a person to call me a man. It's literal misidentificstion, isn't that the thing people fight for the the whole transgender thing?

[@abigailgarcia3599]

“The secret to happiness is there is no secret, so be happy, be yourself”

[@StaleDoritoCrumb]

Don't fight for just feminism... Always fight for what is right.

[@maxmustermann9587]

Problem is: What is _right_ and who defines it? There is a saying, which shows the dilemma: _"Anyone who believes that he is in possession of the pure and only truth, sooner or later feels entitled to enforce this truth, which compulsively leads to oppression and destruction."_

[@Zeitaluq]

Be happy, be yourself. Wonderful!

[@LMWelsh-oh5iu]

p.s. I'm happily married and when things need fixing my husband and I help each other - men and women are supposed to be a team - not competition!

[@Timeisimportant99]

Good

[@timboot5412]

So her boyfriend told her that he thought she should spend more time with her kids... and she just got mad at him?

[@NeverbitFG]

who knows, maybe she was already very busy with her kids, and "spend more time with kids" in that context sounded... well, as something you can get mad over.

[@ticianoofficial]

Tim Boot no. She beat him to death

[@likira111]

The thing about being alone feels like it isnt to much to do with women/feminism but the old phenomona of someone going "I dont need ANYONE" and then pushing others away and silently regretting it.

[@ojaycandraw1945]

I don’t have manxiety because I have powerful women around me, that raised me, from my mom to my aunts.

[@halloooo1duuuuu]

Something's wrong with her microphone and with the audio... that's sad because the talk itself was very good!

[@LinhVu]

Great story, i thought that she were grew-up in comfort, have an easy life

[@DzungJonny]

Man and woman are equal. It's just wrong because we think wrong about each other.

[@fcap2365]

+Ellie Mead says the one who has litterally no fucken idea what they are talking about

[@fcap2365]

+Ellie Mead Feminism is a fucking joke. Everyone has equal opportunities however it's the outcome that is different. life is life and you have to deal with it.

[@Anthal1010]

+Ellie Mead If the entire world, culture, religions, everything about humanity was flipped opposite to what it is now - Women dominating all currently "male" professions, Black people owning White slaves, blablabla We would still be in exactly the same position, and it's this that you feminists don't seem to understand You don't give a fuck about men, so we don't give a fuck about you, The reason you don't give a fuck about men is because we don't give a fuck about you The reason we don't give a fuck about you is because you don't give a fuck about men

[@fcap2365]

+Ellie Mead I know that I'm not going to change your opinion.... however you need to realize there is a certain extent on which things can be fixed. 2+2 will never equal 5. the most wise choice is the make the best out of everything you got.

[@Anthal1010]

The fact that you refer to Men as "boys" and Women as "girls" tells me all i need to know. Until you grow up and join working society i have no time for you. Ellie Mead

[@cheepes3d]

Feminism isn’t saying “we don’t need men”. Of course we need men. But we need to be treated equally to men.

[@theguyonthecouch6109]

I am happy to give you true equality. Buy your own drinks\food. Pay your own bills. Pay your own rent. Father your own children. Live alone. Equality achieved. MGTOW for life!

[@michaelvance1118]

This lady is very courageous. I admire her back bone! Shes been through alot. She is still very smart.humble.intelligent and not afraid to be herself!! I like it!

[@lukelemmon475]

Hmm, her points are interesting. I think her struggle with communication is confusing people. Plus the pre-association people have of her stance is causing them to flip out. Feminism does cause cultural and social issues. It nullifies two extremes and causes confusion (Obviously). Feminism's goal shouldn't be equality, it should be respect. You can nullify the extremes and create a gray canvass. But the insecurity and fear will only create more disrespect for one another.

[@octavialea9886]

+Luke Lemmon Oh I think I get now, thanks.

[@sanaa94]

This is the most intelligent comment I've seen on this thread so far. Yes, the problem with feminism today is that it simply challenges the established order of society just to challenge it, without looking at the reasons why society may have been set up in that way, and this, through the shifting of mindsets, causes rapid social change which in turn throws society into chaos because people don't know where they fit in any more. In order for men and women to get along harmoniously in family groups, they have to know what their purpose is in that group. They HAVE to have a role. That role makes them necessary and indispensable to the group. It means that the man respects the woman because he needs her and the woman respects the man because she needs him and this in turn cements their bonds of affection and companionship. Patriarchy is not inherently "evil". It only becomes "toxic" when the respect men have for women diminishes and the role of women in the society is degraded. Women then come to view themselves and other women negatively and to see the role of women and femininity in general as synonymous with weakness and degradation while viewing (their outsider perception of) manhood and masculinity as superior and as symbols of strength and agency. The problem is that, as a woman, striving to be more "manly" because you see it as associated with strength and power and society tells you that femininity is weakness, will not necessarily make you happy if by doing so you are suppressing your natural urges and personality. It also affects gender relationships because men are still largely encouraged to be "manly" and with many women also trying to exude a "masculine" energy, the two sides will clash and there can be no balance or harmony. The goal shouldn't be equality. We shouldn't want to be like men or equivalent to men. But we can ask that women be afforded just as much respect as men for doing the same or equivalent work and indeed that "women's work" in itself be afforded the respect it deserves.

[@joshportie]

Feminism does not get rid of two extremes. It is Sexism that's sanctioned by the government. Just look at the psychopaths at the Warren farrel protest. God forbid men talk about suicide.

[@olayemiidowu5499]

Luke Lemmon the joy I feel when I read this. I been saying it. Equality don't mean you safe. No.

[@yesitissammy]

this... feels like when i'm getting told about feminism by my mom.... i got extremely confused and offended a bunch of times but the message is right?? yeah it was my experience of conflict with this video

[@YouWillGetThereBuddy]

For me feminism isn't about switching gender roles. Its about abolishing them for Men and Woman in every aspect of life. Me saying I'm independent and don't need anybody to be happy doesn't mean that I don't want someone or people in my life to surround me. It just means that I can survive on my own and I can be happy but I still enjoy having people in my life. I feel like her view on feminism is very distorted and a typical example of how old traditionalists think. "You wouldn't like the site of a man doing the dishes and a woman fixing a car." TF? Firstly I wouldn't mind that site at all and secondly what does that have to do with what feminism is as a whole? It not only re-enforces gender roles but it also displays her lack of understanding of what the movement actually is. If a woman ends up alone and she's happy then why is that so hard to comprehend? Same goes for men. If you end up alone and happy then why is it so hard to wrap your head around it? Feminism is not about female superiority and it never was. Every movement has supremacists and they're usually the loudest but Feminazi's are not what the actual movement is about. People always say that there is no actual focus for modern day feminism but my answer to that is that there are very clear goals. Equality of the genders in EVERY aspect of society and life. Not superiority. Not wanting to be alone and miserable. Not erasing men from the face of the earth. Just simple Equality with no discrimination and prejudice toward the next gender.

[@navaladiram5851]

Whoa! "The secret of happiness is no secret" is the best💯

[@ngocsieu]

Oh this is Thuy Minh. Never thought that she was on TED Talk. She deserves it and everything else. Much love and good wishes to Thuy Minh.

[@j.mastershroom4492]

I find it quite interesting how the definitions of „feminism“ differ. To me it appears that she defines feminism as the switch of the traditional „roles“ of man and woman. However to me feminism always was, and still is, about equality. The right and normality (!) for a woman to make a career or be a stay at home mom or be whatever she wants to be. And for men to get more legal rights and thus chances to be more involved with their kids and being able to choose just the same. So I love what she says later on: „Make sure it is your choice!“ Being able to make any kind of life choices, not depending on the gender, and that being normal. I think this would be good. So I feel that, even if someone lives in the traditional roles, they still can be feminists, because socially forcing women to be career-oriented is not feminism, it is the opposite as it is again telling women what to be and which paths to choose - if defined as a switch of gender-roles. Let people choose their paths in life and stop judging others just because we do not (immediately) understand their choices. As long as they do not hurt anybody or jeopardize a legal system and so on. Let us be kind to one another. Ask questions instead. Mho.

[@jaycampbell6402]

Equality is humanism Saying that you can't have equality without feminism is intrinsically hateful. Why would a specifically unipolar ideology represent equality? That is like saying I believe all races are equal but I am calling it Germanism, because only Germans know how to bring about racial equality. That is what feminists are doing when they disingenuously claim that feminism is "equality." Remember all the first women's rights crusaders were humanists, and did not call themselves feminists.

[@thejinxone]

I really enjoyed this talk. To be independent is to have an independent thought. Once you conform you are no longer a free thinker. Make sure your choice is your choice and not following a trend. If you end up unhappy, it's your choice. Choose happiness.

[@LibertyJefferson]

"Men have an empty box... Women don't have that!" Lol! That was gold. I enjoyed the lecture. You definitely have to take into account the cultural differences exhibited if you're from the west, but I like the premise. Just be true to yourself, and not some idealized version of some kind of super archetype.

[@trungsusi]

Lâu quá không gặp Minh Thuỳ ! Thât bất ngờ khi gặp cô ấy trên Ted

[@KKMDStyle]

This lady equates feminism with all of the negative stereotypes...

[@ryleetalunay8394]

"When I was young... and beautiful..." but shes so pretty??

[@badlydrawnturtle8484]

So, feminists downvoting this video; all women's voices should be heard except the ones who say what you don't want to hear, right?

[@pop8796]

If they don't like the video, they dislike it. It's not about people being heard.

[@badlydrawnturtle8484]

pop8796 If they dislike it, that means they disagree with the message. It's roughly equivalent; or are you not aware of the intimidation effect the mainstream view can have on dissenting voices?

[@pop8796]

+Badly Drawn Turtle I think you're over thinking the KZbin rating system just a bit mate.

[@badlydrawnturtle8484]

pop8796 I think most people under-think pretty much all of life.

[@pop8796]

+Badly Drawn Turtle Good for you.

[@huongpham3580]

To all the girls, all the women out there, all people out there, you do not have to be strong, you do not have to be successful. You just gotta be yourself!

[@SMOKINgears]

nice one

[@Iamhere829]

It’s plainly FALSE ..you don’t need to be the strongest or the most successful but you need to work hard on yourself and try to improve yourself everyday.. Being strong is important to survive..especially for women since they are statistically more at risk of xex assault.. Strength training,emotional strength and self defence are a few basic skills which must not be viewed as choice but as a compulsion..for everyone.. Success can mean raising children or raising money that depends on the individual as long as it doesn’t hurts the individual.. Tomorrow , if your daughter becomes a drug addict and claim that this is her choice.. You wouldn’t appreciate her.. you would guide her.. Tomorrow is your son starts cutting himself..and calls it his own choice.. You wouldbe compelled to guide him.. The reason why we must judge because a woman could get herself stuck in a dangerous situation and then claim it’s her choice until it’s too late to save her.. A woman could get on national tv and cite violence against other women and then claim it’s her choice.. That’s why we should judge people by their choices.. not limit them..but sure make them understand the consequences of their choices..

[@vananhvu3140]

Love the talk that i think that the most important part is that she points out that many people have been thinking wrongly about feminism bcoss of a lot of things

[@highthoughts1]

You are very firm, very focused and very intelligent. You have an independent mind too. No one needs divisions. What you need is equal rights and justice, which feminism is not going to produce. Feminism is a vessel for polarisation.

[@Cinemaniac96]

this is about performative feminism, I think it's maybe not the best interpretation. feminists don't want the reversal of gender roles, they don't say you're supposed to go through life alone, so I think these arguments are sort of beside the point..

[@DuongNguyen-fi9ge]

I agree with you on that, however, we need to take into account the fact that the performative feminism is the representation of feminism in Vietnam right now. I think her argument is about the popular Western ideas of feminism in Vietnam right now.

[@MH-cv5ye]

You're a bit crazy, right? Nobody cares. The men have all left. Bye.

[@kaylienguyen1586]

I think I agreed with her. A successful woman is not just a strong, independence, and powerful woman. You should be a smart woman, who know when they should be strong and when they should be weak. You’ll success when you got your dream job (or other job but you’re satisfied), you can control your relationship, be a clever girlfriend or wife. Success without men? Is it really a good idea? I think you may be say “Yah, I’m fine with it, doesn’t matter”, but “Are you lying?” Be true with yourself.

[@CoffeeD_1]

I don't like how feminism has turned into this hatred towards men. It should be a fight for equality. That's why i don't like the name 'feminism' either. It should be something representing equality not just the female sex. Because the discrimination can also turn towards men. As a nowadays student i have felt certain discrimination against male students especially in elementary school. Teachers always used to praise all the girls about how nice and tidy and clean and grown up they were whereas as a boy i was always the young stupid boy that was not to be taken seriously. I felt inferior, but never wanted to be something more than the girls. We should all fight for equality and stop claiming our own rights because we wanted the biggest piece of the cake

[@lorencrain7392]

The world ain't ready for this talk. But she is on point, very well spoken, and has done comendable work to say at the very least.

[@longlasthappiness68]

Okay I understand now. Feminism concept around the world seems so different. Google says feminism lead to gender superior. While in another world feminism lead to freedom to get the same education for women. Anyway, this topic really open my mind. Love it 😊👍