Stop Shaming Yourself (Seasons of Waiting & a Sunset Homestead Walk) | VLOG

- Greenstalk Vertical Gardens BOGO 60% Off Sale happening NOW! (Use code "ROOTS10" for $10 off your order): rootsandrefuge.com/yt-greenstalk
Hey ya'll, I'm Jess from Roots & Refuge Farm
Welcome to a place that feels like home. A small farm with a big family. We hope you'll pull up a chair, grab some coffee and visit awhile.
There was a time that all I wanted in the world was a little farm where I could raise my family and grow our food. Now, that is exactly what exists outside my door. In watching it unfold, a new dream was formed in my heart - to share this beautiful life with others and teach them the lessons we've learned along the way. Welcome to our journey, friend. I am so glad you're here.
*********************
WHERE TO FIND US (Some of the links here are affiliate links. If you purchase through our links we'll receive a small commission but the price remains the same - OR BETTER - for you! Be sure to check for any mentioned discount codes.)
- Our Website: rootsandrefuge.com
- Sign up for our newsletter: rootsandrefuge.com/yt-signup
- Join our Patreon to get early access to podcasts and other information, plus monthly LIVES with me and Miah: / rootsandrefuge
- Abundance+ (Grab a FREE 7-day trial): rootsandrefuge.com/yt-wilder-...
- Shop our Stickers & Shirts: rootsandrefuge.com/yt-shop
- Order my book First Time Gardener: rootsandrefuge.com/yt-ftgbook
- Pre-order my newest book First Time Homesteader: rootsandrefuge.com/first-time...
- Our music is by our friend Daniel Smith
- Instagram: roots_and_refuge
- Facebook: / rootsandrefugefarm
- Email Us: [e-mail]
- To drop us a line:
PO Box 4239
Leesville SC 29070
- To have a gift sent to our house from our Amazon wishlist: www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls...
- To support us through PayPal: www.paypal.com/paypalme/jessi...
**********************
PRODUCTS WE LOVE - You've probably heard me talk about these things a million times, so here's where you can order them (and get a discount with my code!):
- Greenstalk Vertical Gardens (Use code "ROOTS10" for $10 off your order): rootsandrefuge.com/yt-greenstalk
- Squizito Tasting Room (Use code "ROOTS" for 10% off your order): rootsandrefuge.com/yt-squizito
- ButcherBox: rootsandrefuge.com/butcherbox
- Growers Solution: rootsandrefuge.com/growers-so...
#rootsandrefuge #homesteading #gardening

[@ruthpackard3080]

I get it, Jess! I’m 73 and in the winter of my life...but feel like it still should be spring! I had to purpose to be satisfied...no...to be happy with a smaller vision. And then totally enjoy watching those of you who are younger bloom with excitement! You, my sweet sister, are an inspiration!

[@sandrawalkerhaliburton1884]

Ruth, I know how you feel. I went from 40 acres to just five. I also did it all. Now at 79 it kills me that i have no way to care for very much. My yard is a mess. I watch Hess and others to try to keep the black clouds away.

[@jacqulinejackson4822]

73 also😁💎💎💎💎

[@tamararoberts9307]

Beautifully said Ruth

[@sandyjones4144]

Absolutely !

[@virginiaallisonpeck2517]

We all must walk in strength and faith(for ourselves and the younger ones) our spirits are preparing us for another special journey to walk with our Lord. Rejoice in every day and choose happiness. Some days it’s harder than others. But it is a choice. Give yourself grace and gaze on others with grace… when you get to the end of your rope tie a knot in it and hold on. Blessings to us all❤️🎚🕊🙏🏼

[@WalkingScriptureWithShanna]

"Shame dies when stories are told in safe places" -Brene Brown

[@aimeegill4485]

I have no safe place. prayers go unanswered and circumstances spiral down

[@marsha.m6357]

Aimee, You are never alone and I hear you. Sending love and prayers your way...be strong Aimee, the storm WILL pass🙏💗🤗

[@ruthpackard3080]

Aimee, I pray that you will find a safe place! And I pray you will find answers to your prayers! Perhaps one answer is that your post has made several of us aware of your need...and we will be praying for you! 💕

[@WalkingScriptureWithShanna]

@@aimeegill4485 my name is Shanna Garry. Come find me on social media. I'll be your safe space

[@ashleynewhard7460]

"The removal of shame is a group effort" Ned Hallowell. Thank you Jess for sharing your emotions and thoughts with us. It helps!

[@MulberryBranchFarm]

I wish I could articulate how many times you have said exactly what I needed to hear at the right moment. You’re a blessing to me and I know Yahweh uses you to help and encourage so many people in all the seasons of their life. Thank you Jess ❤

[@thehamfamhomestead]

I have been feeling that cloud, sitting on my suburban lot, wishing for acreage and watching the land prices skyrocket. It seems so out of reach, but today God gave me a beautifully warm day to get outside and piddle in the garden, cleaning out pots and turning my little compost pile. I got to watch a few of my spring friends (toads, lizards and butterflies) in their familiar places. I got to say happy birthday to my first batch of seedlings. It was like a big hug from God while I sit in my waiting room.

[@cuznclive2236]

Just over two years ago, my wife and I began caring for our youngest granddaughter. I still feel as though I'm not getting enough done because I am the daily care provider for the now almost 3-year-old. Every so often I force myself to get over thinking about all that I have not done to think about all that me and this little girl experience together every day. Thank you!

[@elainewenger6454]

Oh Jess, please feel the grace of being alive. You are a light for so many.

[@Charlie-im9iv]

I needed to hear this today! My season of waiting right now is a broken leg. One week ago, I was the most active I've ever been in my life. I was a full time preschool teacher and roller derby skater. I am so passionate about both of those things! And now, whether I like it or not, my job is to sit still and wait. Heal my body, let my bones regrow, and - scariest of all - accept help from other people! We will return to the things that we love. This rest, too, will fuel it.

[@nuttallvlogs2362]

Same! But instead of a broken leg, my kidneys are playing up. I've got to be on bed rest for the foreseeable. And instead of a preschool teacher I work with children who have social, emotional and mental health challenges. Turns out I'm not a very patient patient 😂😭😩

[@keishamurray2711]

I think in most things we need to give ourselves the grace to feel what we feel. It doesn't matter if it is "silly" or "dramatic". It's how we feel. Allow yourself to have the emotion. Don't live there, but give yourself the grace to feel your emotions without shame.

[@michaelatiller7570]

It seems that every video I turn on these days strikes a cord to bring tears to my eyes. Jess, your vulnerability is a mighty encourager. Coming out of this season of sickness has brought so much honesty and truth with it. I feel like your audience is connecting more deeply with you and your vision, I know that it's true for me. Thank you for sharing these moments with us ♥️

[@ellendavis9940]

Please don’t feel shame. You just said out loud what a lot of us think. Your words have me release I needed to just feel the pain and it’s over with. Thank you for blessing me.

[@rhvondalaunsby35]

Is the pain of loneliness ever over I have no friends where we live I'm a nice person. Yet I have no friends

[@johncarpenter6425]

last year my Mom died at 87 years old. Heat got my garden during my trip to her funeral. I gave up on my garden. It was something I talked to my Mom about. This Christmas I cam down with the flu real bad and I am just getting over it. My hypertensive blood pressure is thru the roof, but I am planting seeds. Hoping for a better garden this year. Maybe I can spend time talking to Mom in heaven from my garden. Thank you always for your posts.

[@holly6231]

I'm so sorry for your loss and recent illness. I too lost my mom last year. I poured myself into my garden and homesteading and talked to my mom every day in my garden. 🤗

[@jeas4980]

💚🙏

[@ms.royahrens8777]

I too lost my Mother last year-the 5th of August. She was 94. She was also my biggest cheerleader, only I didn’t really know it. Now there is no one to share my failures and little wins with. So much history that went with her-things I didn’t write down. My garden wasn’t much last year either plus it was the first one in our new place. My Brother in law also unexpectedly passed away last year, no explanation of why, just gone. I’ll be praying for you.

[@ljmike5519]

I'm sorry for your loss. I often sit in my garden and know that my mom would be proud of my garden. I know you will grow the best garden ever as you have while sharing thoughts with her. Hugs and blessings

[@inchristalone25]

Drink more water throughout the day. Hypertension is an inability to get rid of electrolytes.

[@Bleu2751]

I really really needed this video. Not about a garden but I was feeling upset over something I’m in a barren season over and I feel sometimes guilty to feel the longing. Thank you very much. God is with us through it.

[@hetty2974]

Bless you 🙏

[@karenm5681]

Indeed, He is! 💞💐

[@melissaschloneger9902]

I love how you bare your soul to the camera which means letting us in on your struggles…which mirror our own. No shame in struggle. I call February and March my struggle months because I long for green. The snow today made me thankful for the beauty of winter…

[@wordvendor1]

I'm feeling sickly too. 64, in an apartment, but I've decided my heaven will be my garden if I can't get my homestead before God takes me.💜 Hugs, Jess.

[@TheSpottedBoot]

65 in about 3 weeks. Im still pretty capable, but my stamina diminishes quicker than it used to, I keep dehydrating myself in the summer heat with two hospitalizations. This is the first year, I'm wavering on my garden's future. 💔 Sad to let it go

[@wordvendor1]

@@TheSpottedBoot ooh, be careful! Yes, I'm not as strong as I used to be either!

[@scclif]

@@TheSpottedBoot I'm thinking of relocating north for that reason . Also 65 and can't take the heat anymore. I have to get out really early and not procrastinate the plantings.

[@deborahcaldwell9775]

From the age of 65 to 78 I was in an apartment. Many apartments several apartments … for 4 1/2 years. It was a subsidized apartment in a building with very unhappy people. Suddenly, I was able to buy a little house with $5000 down and I’m still in it. Think of it 78 years old and I bought my first house on my own. I heat with wood but I have an oil furnace backing me up. I’m paying a mortgage and a car payment on my $25,000 per year Social Security. I have an old man, boyfriend, and I’ve had his company for 12 years, but he doesn’t live with me. I have a garden and an apple tree..!! Believe me, none of us should ever give up. I’m 82 years old and now my stamina is weakening, so my people are rallying to help, but I’m aging in place! Yay for looking ahead through the indoor plants, Jess!

[@wordvendor1]

@@deborahcaldwell9775 yay you! That's amazing!

[@ECole-le7we]

Jess - My adult daughter and I are - this very day and for the last 16 days - in the middle of excruciating pain. We had to put our beloved 17-year-old pup - a Cairn Terrier - to sleep on Jan. 3. Yes, it has indeed been a storm cloud over our heads, and we want her back. Right now. I hear her barking at the back door even though my rational mind knows full well that she's not really there. My daughter dreams about her every night. My daughter picked up our pup's ashes from the vet today; and she sat and cried all over again. You said, "...it's hard and that's beautiful. God, to love something so much...What a gift to want something so badly that it hurts you...feel the pain...isn't that a blessing actually." I want you to know that really resonated with me. One of my other family members keeps saying, "You've got to be strong. You've got to be the strong woman you have always been." While I know she means well, that just makes me feel guilty and ashamed that I am not strong right now. Thank you, Jess, for talking about the blessing of restrictive periods - like grief, which yes is a process. An excruciatingly painful one. Going forward, I will at least try not to feel the shame of not being strong. And I will thank God for letting me love someone so much that it hurts to be without her. Blessings to you and your "Sweet Bear" from a subscriber in NC.

[@susanturner1171]

I had two Cairn terriers. Very sweet pups. So sorry. We love deeply and it's really hard when we lose our fur babies

[@k.j.krimson2590]

🫂 Hugs ❤️‍🩹

[@ECole-le7we]

@@k.j.krimson2590 Thank you for caring.

[@ECole-le7we]

@@susanturner1171 Yes. I am glad to know there are people who understand.

[@marileamontgomery6244]

Hi Jess, I lost my husband in August and my kids are grown. The season of my life has changed and I’ve had to shift the way I think. I went from all the people needing me to being alone. I applaud your longing for the garden, your family, for doing the things you love. Life is so transients. Chase your dreams.

[@DonnaCookAuthor]

I needed to hear this. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@scclif]

So sorry for your loss . 😔

[@hetty2974]

Sending hugs znd blessings to you,and hope there will be surprise blessings for you this new year,xxx

[@cathykirkmcrae7727]

@marileamontgomery6224 I lost my husband too in Nov. My kids are also grown with families of their own. I totally understand when you said "the season of my life has changed...."! I really really relate to your words right now. I'm trying to chase the dreams we had together, him and I, on my own.

[@leewillis2908]

@@cathykirkmcrae7727❤️🙏❤️

[@patriotmama]

Oh Jess, I am feeling the same way. We have had 5 solid days of a lot of wind, cold and NO sun and today I actually cried. I will be 73 in just less than a month. I am so blesses to have my husband and we are both healthy and growing our own food. We really are. Yes, I am longing for spring sun and warmth, my ands in the soil and all of it, but yes, I do know that this is the time for earths resting so it can burst forth and produce like crazy again. Thanks for reminding me I don’t need to feel shame for my “ little fuss”. Spring is one day closer. YAY!❤

[@amytheamateurherbalist]

Being vulnerable and feeling your feelings allows you to HEAL on all levels. In our society we are "taught" to not feel or feelings or sensations which causes imbalance throughout the body. Feel to Heal!!

[@sherrymurphy-kleine4592]

Love the night sounds of the insects and peepers!! Thanks, Jess! Makes me feel so good!

[@katherinemcdaniel8446]

I turned 60 last May, and have realized that all of our feelings are valid and beautiful. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you can. Life is such an amazing journey and you are such a beautiful soul. Bear and I, neither one - thinks you're crazy at all. You constantly inspire me and remind to keep on going.

[@richlynourished2119]

I love this. Going through hard emotions is hard enough without without shame and condemnation.

[@janenichols3880]

The earth has been put to sleep and is resting through the Winter season. It’s part of the cycle of life. Enjoy the beauty of planning the next garden and planting season. Life teaches us patience by allowing us to wait for a season to come. Hoping for beautiful days ahead. Blessings!❤

[@annettaretallick941]

Thank for reminding me it's ok. I have been in a wheelchair for ten years now and have refused to let myself go through the feelings. I keep pushing them away. Thank you form being a light.

[@loriskeoch5960]

When I get to feeling that cloud I tune into some of my favorite gardening/homesteading vloggers! Watching videos virtually lifts my spirits. And it helps to know others feel the same way. My growing season is a long time coming (living north of Chicago) and my yard is small but I will eventually get my hands back in the dirt! It has been so gray here with WEEKS of no sun that my indoor plants are even suffering. My fiddle leaf fig is dropping all of its leaves! I literally had to put a sad lamp on it (it is helping!)! Only 100 more days until my last frost!

[@Dragonfly20233]

Sitting with you in the storm. Holding your hand and comforted by your honesty. ❤

[@angelique58]

I know the feeling!!! Diagnosed with Stg 1 Invasive Ductal Breast Cancer, end of last May. No worries. I was blessed. No lymph node involvement, no chemo, lumpectomy, only 5 pinpoint radiation treatments and Estrogen blockers for 5 yrs.. Not hereditary so not passed on to my granddaughter. Only 4% chance of return. BUT, I did miss out on enjoying gardening. It became more of a chore than pleasure. So looking forward to this coming season..and very thankful! Praise God..Always. Smile Jess...and thank you. You helped me get thru it, without even knowing it. 😊❤🙏✝️🕊

[@deewinston5651]

Thank you Jess for sharing your heart. Waiting is always hard, but we have the promise of Spring.❤️🌻🍅🥒🫑

[@martipulliam4465]

Seasonal depression and seasons of mourning are important difficult times. It is okay to fully feel their weight before moving forward. We tend to want to rush the bitter and not acknowledge the ugly. It is important to find solace in knowing it is a season and change is coming. Where I live, farmers plant winter wheat as a cover crop and I find so much comfort and joy in pulling off the road and being among the green for a moment! Even though it is not my dirt or my growth, I can celebrate it. Thanks for being vulnerable.

[@annewest7429]

Thank you for the quiet walk by the pond, for sharing the beautiful sunset and the sound of the peepers. And for being real.

[@kariem4759]

You have spring peepers!!!! We await their chorus every year as a true sign of spring. Such a balm to hear them in your video.

[@robingirven4570]

I feel you. I live in Northern Michigan. Right now my waiting room, is a classroom! I need sun. I need Vitamin D. Come March I’ll plant seeds. In the meantime, I’m freezing. I’m waiting. I’m dreaming. I’m planning my 2023 garden, my 40th year of growing a garden! It happens every year. I know it. I feel it. It’s ok. You’ll be ok Sweet Jess.

[@renie847]

I went to the grocery store and today. Prices were so high. I felt blessed that I have a space to have a garden. I love going on evening walks around your farm with you.

[@tamarakittmccluredaomlac.9158]

Jess, thank you so much for sharing your heart ❤. Too often we are told to “stop feeling” that way- when we can honor those honest feelings, even though they may be uncomfortable. At 51 and nearly an empty nester, I am also new to East Texas and just under 10 acres of land that I CANNOT wait to start tending… I am also a doctor or acupuncture and traditional medicine. Honor yourself. Thank God every day, and keep sharing! I wish I could hang out with you and bake sourdough bread together!❤

[@Jules1280]

Hey Jess! I hope sharing your frustrations with us helped release some of that for you. And thank you for sharing yourself with us. Sometime it's not easy to share personal things like that. May I make a suggestion for you? Maybe this will relieve some of angst for gardening. What about taking your indoor plants and repotting them and trim them to make cuttings to repot for your stores in town. Maybe set your mind to thinking about some of the smaller things to decorate your stores with. I really loved listening to the frogs. Frogs are my favorite. I used to play with them when I was a little girl. Take care! Blessings to all! Love, Light and Peace

[@marking-time-gardens]

Awesome idea! Blessings Kiddo!🥰🌻🐛

[@myheartland2015]

The sound of peepers tugs at my heart. Makes me always think of my mom who would wistfully say "Ah, listen to the peepers". It's the glorious sound of Spring and Summer. You're lucky to hear them in the dead of winter. Thanks for sharing!

[@debrahaley1235]

Never be ashamed of being a highly sensitive person, it is a gift, it is difficult, and it is a blessing to feel things so deeply. Find your path forward...Then we pull up our muck boots and move on :) lots of people need to hear this right now - Thank you!

[@heatherklotzbach4905]

Golly, I feel like you had a bad day just to speak life into me. You heal even in your storm clouds. Thank you. Bless you.

[@SunnyStruck86]

In the off season when I’m really wanting to get my hands dirty, I focus on my composting. It’s fun knowing that my compost is the best I could put in my garden and building the beds in the winter makes me feels so fulfilled. Moving, turning and topping my beds is fun for me. I think it’s good to have a break because by the time summer comes to an end, I’m exhausted and completely burnt out. Enjoy the down time. Spring will be here before you know it.

[@jaynemar1]

I know how it feels to neeeeeed to have our hands in the soil and FEEL the cool fluff and. Moisture of the land…. It just is our heart & soul. God blessed us with our love for the earth and growing everything!

[@Junkinsally]

You're never really in a period of restriction!!! There are ALWAYS things you can do to support the activities you love! Wash those pots, make labels for the new seeds you got, order the seeds if you haven't. Get your seed starting equipment all together, cleaned and ready. Pick up debris in the garden areas now so that when the season comes you're ready to hit the hit ground running. One thing that really goes a long way to success in any endeavor is being thoroughly prepared for the taste. That's what "spring fever" is! That itch to get things moving. Garden season comes on fast. The more prepared you are the better you will be. Also, winter is the time for physical rest, but not mental rest. Pick a gardening topic and take a deep dive in. Maybe it's growing roses or putting in the small water feature. Whatever peaks your interest study up on it. Sitting around being bummed it's not summer is wasting valuable time you could using to the summer time more productive and useful.

[@gaylewatkins4685]

So glad our lovely Jess is back. 💕💕💕

[@karinas3627]

I came to KZbin with the intention of watching yours and other gardening videos to help overcome my own restless, sad energy that has been plaguing me this winter, and needed to hear someone I consider a mentor say they are dealing with this too.

[@trishbowring726]

Dear Jess, I adore your precious honesty truth sharing and genuine desire to sow and grow! Your harvest field goes far further than you eyes will ever see! You are a blessing and inspiration! ❤

[@janlindoo506]

Thank you for this. I’m 64 and getting our house ready to put on the market so we can buy land. Right when we started my husband had an accident and punctured and collapsed a lung. Everything has taken longer than expected and there have been delays and interruptions. But God is walking with us through this. And He is teaching me to feel the emotion, the disappointment, the sadness, whatever, and then just give it to Him. It hasn’t been easy, but we are making progress. My husband is healing and I am learning to live one day at a time. When I don’t feel the feelings, I paralyze. I even have to get angry sometimes and that’s okay. Your comments about emotions are right on the mark. It encourages me that someone else gets it.

[@colleenbellscanadiangarden9180]

I can relate to this. My husband and I wanted to renovate our home to see and get bigger property, but he fell and broke his wrist a year ago, and everything was put on hold . we are hoping for full recovery, but it has been a long process, and we have had to just be patient, and we know the Lord has a plan.

[@janlindoo506]

The timing will be perfect. I will pray for you guys.

[@Jules1280]

My husband starting falling last January and he still is not fully recovered from whatever it was that took him down. We were talking about moving to a warmer climate since we are retired now and living in Iowa, it is torture on our arthritis. The one thing you said "When I don’t feel the feelings, I paralyze." that resinated with me. I just realized that is what I have and am doing through this whole process with my husband. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. It's not easy to point out our own issues sometimes. Blessings to you! Love, Light & Peace

[@brendabaker3960]

I am in a similar situation. My husband (72) and I (63) were in the process of selling our house to buy land and start homesteading on a small scale. He suddenly became ill and didn't survive. So now I am continuing the journey on my own and it has been so hard. The housing market slowed down and so now I am in limbo, and so itching to put my hands I to gardening. I can't do it where I am, and it would be so hard to transport any potted plants, so I wait...impatiently...to move forward.

[@erinkinney4792]

@Brenda Baker hugs and prayers of blessings for you, Miss Brenda. HE will make your path clear. 🙏

[@tamic193]

Jess I totally get you!!! Whenever I’m feeling sad or overwhelmed the garden is what brings me joy and when I don’t have the garden growing what I do is I go to my favorite town, Cambria, CA!!! It’s along the beach but also nestled in and surrounded in a giant hug by trees! It’s always green and always beautiful and I’ll go on walks and literally hug the trees. It feels my cup right back up! So find a place near you that’s nestled in nature and hug some trees! It’ll cheer you up and fill you with joy!

[@earthinspirationspotteryde2904]

Jess, go in the house and find a jar. I know you have lots of seeds. Start some sprouts. Tons of sprouts. Seasonal grief is a thing. It’s OK to feel it. We have frogs too. I love sitting on the porch and listening to them. I Love you Jess. Embrace the grief and grow some tasty sprouts.

[@leahness3588]

I love the frogs croaking. As a young girl I would fall asleep to that sound at night. Good memories. 🐸💚🐸💚

[@beckysheetz4343]

The LORD has made all the seasons. And they are good. But, like you, Jess, I am ready for winter to be over. I am delighting in planning my garden and my new orchard. Thank you for sharing your joys and sorrows. Praise the Lord that we feel them. He will give you the desires of your heart.

[@sybillesanderson4494]

Thank you Jess! I so appreciate your honesty! I agree! Let’s feel what we feel and then allow ourselves to move forward in any way that we can! ❤

[@happyfrog29]

I totally get it. I think people don't feel thier emotions because they are told not to. It's too uncomfortable for people to express or see . This is how my family and I feel about having our own land. We have tried everything to get there, but it just has not worked out yet! But I totally understand everything you said.🙂

[@chrisallen6272]

When I think about the off season and that funk, I think of our ancestors. I think of how many trials and tribulations they went through for us to be here now. That gets me through. Chin up people. Time will tell 💚

[@mirandam8021]

You can take comfort in knowing that others feel the same as you do...THIS girl here! Haha! Sending you love, Jess!!!🌻🌻🌻

[@debwiley3914]

Part of my waiting has been ended, but now there's a season of change which will be extremely stressful for my entire family. My son's father died over the weekend, which will change their living arrangements (they are on the spectrum and cannot be alone), and will certainly change what I am able to do with my life over the next many years. I'm hoping God is providing a home for the three of us with enough land to have chickens and a pig or two, as well as the greenhouse my oldest son wants so desperately. I'm dreaming a big dream for my sons that they will have a life that makes them happy and allows them the opportunity to eat real food that mostly tastes good. Thanks for the inspiration Jess.

[@cbjones2212]

My condolences for your son on losing their father. It's difficult at any age or stage of life to lose a parent. Take care of each other.

[@jeas4980]

🙏 If you're not aware... Medicaid offers a Consumer Directed Care program assessed by your local Community Services Board. It allows the guardian to select the caretakers for their disabled dependents and pays for care and assistance for activities of daily living and supervision needs. In rural areas, like you describe (like where I live) where caretakers are not readily available... a family member can qualify as the caretaker. I find so many people are unaware that there are services available to help families like ours. I'm sorry for your loss. 🙏💚

[@annie-k5213]

Deb Wiley what state are you in?

[@debwiley3914]

@@jeas4980 Their dad was their guardian - he retired at 59 and was more able to deal with the everyday stuff. Now I have to do the application process and pay for attorneys. Autism is a real bear most of the time, and yet, that's the population I teach.

[@allenp1894]

I am 80 years old on a 60 acre farm. Life is about changes then more changes then more changes. When we first came here 40 years ago we raised thoroughbred horses then we raised cows then we raised commercial chickens, always a garden, and now a garden is what is left we cut firewood in the winter work on our 40 year old tractor getting ready for spring and listen to your wonderful channel, thanks so much

[@lydiabrittanandtheroyalfamily]

Our little peepers are back after the freeze and their tinkling chorus is a balm for my soul ❤️🙏🏻

[@tdleitch]

I am so grateful that you are poetic about these seasons and that you are honest about them. It makes me feel better to hear the poet words and look upon the waiting with something other than heartache.

[@chelseafailla9887]

I had this similar conversation with a leader in my church who was insinuating that my strong feelings in a season of waiting and uncomfort must be worked through/fixed and that somehow those feelings are not as "good" as contentment without the feelings of sadness. Nay nay - on the contrary. Thank you for your words. They can co exist, they do co exist and we can feel thankful and grateful and still long and dream and feel "negative" feelings

[@caragrandlegardens766]

Recovering from long covid for 16 months. I’m sooooo looking forward to this spring being a healthy one. All the projects.

[@cbjones2212]

If the struggle didn't hurt so much, the joy would never be as intense either. It's the yin and yang of life.

[@angelad.8944]

ohhh the peepers.....I love that sound. I miss them. ohhhh and sunshine....I love sunshine...I miss it. The smell of grass right after it is mowed, fresh cut herbs, vibrant beautiful flowers.....fresh produce right out the door....a warm sping rain.....deep breath in everyone....it won't be long 🙂 We can do it.

[@angieowen1165]

I feel exactly the same way! We are in the middle of a huge remodel, and all I can think of is ordering seeds, getting my equipment ready for starters, starting some of my seeds, and getting my beds and garden ready. I'm like you, I can deal with Jan and Feb. You bless us every time with your honesty and opening up to complete strangers. BLESS YOU JESS!

[@amyharris7337]

I feel every bit of what you're describing. Often it feels like limbo. But I know that the Lord is doing wonderful work in my heart and in His creation in these seasons, and so I pray that I can lean into that. Right now, we are taking advantage of the free time while we don't have a garden and animals to focus on being intentional about spending time with our community of friends and being hospitable. For I know that when the season is in full swing, it can be a challenge to carve out time to get together with them. We are on the way tonight to our 4th gathering with friends this month! There is blessing in that for which I am extremely grateful.

[@terrychapman3555]

Oh, how I needed to hear this today. I'm 65 yo and recently retired. I have arthristis in my knees and lower back and just can't do what I used to do. Last summer gardening was physically painful at times and I started grieving and heaping shame on myself. Even becoming bitter somewhat. Your counsel reminded it's ok to grieve, but I can also surrender that change is inevitable and use my crearivity to find new methods of growing and keeping my hands in the soil.

[@Rebecca.Robbins]

January is just so hard. Such a long cold month. The one silver lining is that the days have started to get a tiny bit longer.

[@gaitedtrailsfarmandlonghor8986]

I get it too. We are in that season medically both being over 50. We appreciate your words. Prayers for your family's good health

[@judithweinberger1327]

We don't know how to live in the moment. We need to live in the now, being mindful of the moment we are in. Look at that beautiful sunset. L ets accept who we are what a beautiful egg harvest, all the colors & the bounty.

[@judywaldner7923]

Yup Jess the beauty of the sunset tells it all .... the sun is shining through the clouds

[@tinatippin5705]

God bless you, Jess. Many have sat with you as you shared the truths of the heart and reflected on our own season. Much can be learned in a season. Even when it is winter. Thank you.

[@shannybug04]

The sounds of the animals and that sunset - now that was so good for my soul to hear

[@belieftransformation]

Bless you, Jess, for showing us that there is no shame in “feeling down”! Life is not always happiness but there’s the faith that things will get better when we ask our higher power for help & admit that we need help! God works through us all, sometimes through a vlog or noticing beautiful sunsets! Blessings to your family 🤗💜🇨🇦

[@alanenglish900]

Moons on the rise..... So inspirational..... You touch us all,keep it up...

[@kathylemke7854]

Thank you for sharing. Bless your heart! I love your authenticity!

[@Chellees]

To have a passion so deeply that you feel frustration over not being able to do it, it’s a Beautiful Gift! God gave you ALL your emotions, not just the fuzzy good feeling ones. To have a deep yearning to do something let’s you know you are smack dab in the middle of God’s will for your life!! The fact that you can share this vulnerability with us is a gift to us! That we feel validated we, too, can feel the feelings of frustration and use that to urge us to strive toward our goals is a Beautiful thing! We all need community and what a BEAUTIFUL community you have created!! Thank you and Blessings to you and yours!!🙏🏻❤️😊

[@peggybrowne6012]

It is so nice to heard the birds in the background. What a lovely morning.

[@The-Ancestral-Cucina]

I see you. I hear you. I feel your energy. We are in the pause. The moments of stillness. Of quiet. Sometimes the quiet can be deafening. The slowing down, almost to a crawl, can feel crippling. I hear you. I see you. I feel this too.

[@CandiYellowPeppers]

I have been watching your videos for a while now. Thank you for everything you share. Very hard to find uplifting, family friendly and truth speaking social media content. I love gardening. A big passion of mine. And I always feel the presence of my mom and Jesus with me when I am in it. Since my mom's passing . My love and knowledge has grown so much more with planting. I never had the chance to make grape jelly with her. But knowing I have memories with her picking wild blackberries in my yard with my son's and making blackberry syrup. And being able to take a picture of her in the flower garden we made together. Thank you Jess and your family for being a light in this world.

[@stephanieg5195]

God was smiling on you as you shared your thoughts and feelings by showing you His beautiful sunset!

[@EdenSpringsHomestead]

Thank you Jess... I have been feeling this so much as we wait to move to our property... even though I know that all that waits for me is hard work, my soul aches to put my feet in our soil and see our forever farm grow into the best version of our dreams. Sending you love as always. God Bless you and your family

[@Nikki-mx5my]

I hear you. The seasonal affective disorder really gets me this time of year. We’ve barely seen the sunshine at all this January. I try to put as much of my free time into garden planning and things that bring joy and a sense of peace. I can very much hear the peepers in this video. I can’t tell you how much I love that sound. Each year, when I hear it for the first time, I have to stop and take a beat. Close my eyes and just listen. Spring is coming. 💕🌺 And, according to my Farmers Almanac countdown, just 48 days away.

[@katherinebelk8398]

That is a majestic view! You're blessed! In all actually..... we're All Blessed! We all have the sun set! The horizon may look different but it's up to the individual to recognize, see and more importantly appreciate the beauty that's set before us!

[@deannewilliams3321]

You know what I find inspiring? You! Your channel. As well as other KZbinrs. I get out in the yard and do stuff. It doesn’t matter how much I get done, it’s that I made some sort of progress. It’s the project that I like, something to do. I have fun with it, made 7 zones I work in each day of the week. What I find so funny is every time I get out and do something, all the neighbors do something in their yard too. I love it!! I think you need more flower bulbs in your life. 🌷🌷🌷 Your Irises will be gorgeous down by the pond!

[@leahortiz4063]

Thanks Jess for this post,today it challenged me in my walk with God to want to be so close to Him it hurts. The passion has waned lately and there are things I know I can do to fan the flames but haven’t, like going back to reading the Word prayerfully and regularly first thing early in the morning, so you encouraged me today in that direction. God bless

[@janiceschriber4762]

Thank you Jess. Thanks for sharing your journey. You speak volumes. May Abba continue to bless you. Especially through the storms.

[@spinninggardener]

Thank you for this. Giving myself permission to just be - in this time of 1400 mile transition. It's hard, but to give yourself grace and look forward to what can be is such a balm for the soul.

[@cathybrown7369]

I know it was 75 yesterday Batesburg SC and I pulled All my seeds out made a plan and prayed So today I will clean some pots!

[@kristidemyer2253]

Once again it is like you know what I am going through. We bought a small piece of property and moved in a month ago. So many things are not as "advertised." From the house having appliance that don't really function and to diseased trees that are ready to fall down (and some have before we took possession) that I am so disheartened. My dream has become a nightmare and everyone is telling me "it will be fine" and the "I should be happy." Well I am not. And thank you for letting me be okay feeling the way I feel. Bless you.

[@hildabailey2309]

It’s definitely OK Jess. I’ve been sick with Cancer but I’m always trying to do more than I should and pay the price later. I’m not sure why I push so hard… actually I just realize. I push because I might not be able to do it tomorrow. We alway think of what we want to do but little do we know that we aren’t in control and we must learn to hear and listen to that inner voice telling us to slow down!

[@ODVenture]

I felt a little like that after Christmas, and then planted radishes, greens and spinach in my Greenstalks! I live in Northeast Texas and winter typically stays just above freezing. I used the smaller Greenstalks so I can wheel them inside my front door on harsh nights. I found that clear contractor bags work great to cover the Greenstalks 30 - 34 degrees F. Now it's about time to start tomato seeds, so I get my hands back in some dirt a little. Chin up, soon we'll be complaining of the heat. Thanks for sharing and thanks for all you do!

[@kelseygable7721]

You can hear the spring peepers!!! Must’ve been a warm day. Those little frog goes are one of my favorite spring sounds 😊

[@gwencrawford9617]

Thanks again Jess! Thanks for sharing truth. We are our own worse enemy! When we are in the season of winter sadness, go serve! Help someone. God will remind you of the up coming Spring gladness 😊 ….and I will be reading more labels!!!

[@delyndahendricks7510]

Hearing those peepers helped me look forward through these dreary sunless winter days, into the coming season. I had the same kind of bummer day on Monday. Thank you for helping me let go of the guilt of being cranky on Monday. ❤️ thanks, Jess.

[@zumbamommy5036]

I have a little hydroponics system inside. Some days the indoor basil and over wintering plants are my cheer, my bit of green to remind me of so much life from the garden, especially on a rainy cloudy day like we had today.

[@amandawright7761]

Thank you for being REAL! ♥️

[@margueritewarriner3706]

I love the way you share how you work through your feelings. God has given you a wonderful talent for spreading inspiration. Bless you. 🙏

[@Nancy-zk9dj]

Thank you dear lady. I would love to bury my face in Bear's fur right now. He's such a cool soul, like his Mom ❤️ I'm in the '60-something with not enough energy, but still plenty of dreams, and why won't my body come along with me and DO THIS' category. Rarh. Yes, seed companies are smart like that 😊

[@charlaemery1811]

Waggy Butt - when your chickens dance across the yard, the bees emerge from the hive on a sunny winter day, the dog wags its tail in utter joy at your presence, a dandelion blooms in the dead of winter - that moment when you’ve had a day at the doctors and they’ve confirmed your malady will worsen with time, but at the same time compliment you on your positive attitude to just keep stepping forward each day - waggy butt, it’s a good thing…

[@hillarys.k8518]

Jess hugs 🤗. Thank you for being you, and sharing your truth . And a beautiful sunset .

[@fishnapples]

Yes Jess. Feel the sad, the frustrated, the deep grieving of death that winter can make you feel even though we know in our knower that it's not dead but dormant. I think so many of us connect with what you're saying about trying to push ourselves out of it instead of giving ourselves, and sometimes others, grace to be Eeyore. We really could learn from Winnie the Pooh and the gang how to love people where they're at (=. Feel the feels! And I will, too.

[@pietsnot7002]

I’ve learned this as well a couple of years ago, go true the emotions, don’t fight them.. and they shall pass but if you fight them, try to supress them they will stick around for a long long time! Anyone know the difference between a cow and a buffalo? Cows run from the storm only to deal with it later and longer, buffalos run towards it to get true it faster, lets be like buffalo! And a great mental help for me has been exercise 3 times a week. Hugs to all who need it 💚

[@lbrown6859]

Ty for sharing and being transparent. People need this. I just wanted to say that when I am feeling sad or down, for whatever reason, I let myself feel it for a moment, and then I try to combat it with praise. When I am giving God praise for all my blessings in life, and thanking Him for saving me, it brings me right out of that "funk"🙏💕