"SUBWAY - Eat Fresh??" - Jim Gaffigan Stand up (Mr.Universe)

Eat Freshhhhhhhhhh and subscribe for more standup! Evary day at 10am est I will be posting a new video make sure to not miss them!
STAND UP: Beyond The Pale, King Baby, Obsessed, Mr. Universe, Noble Ape, Quality Time
Bath vs Shower • "Showers vs. Baths. Th...
Delivery • "I LOVE DELIVERY" - Ji...
British VS American • "British vs. Americans...
Bacon • "BACON!" - Jim Gaffiga...
Morning People • "I'm not a Morning Per...
Going Out to Dinner • "Going Out to Dinner" ...
I Love Doing Nothing • "I love doing NOTHING....
I’m a Manatee • "I'm a Manatee!!!" - J...
Camping: • "Camping" - Jim Gaffig...
Dog Rescue • "I Rescued a Dog" - Ji...
Fish are disgusting • "Fish are Disgusting, ...
ASIAN AMERICAN • "Asian American" - Jim... ALL NEW MATERIAL
Cake • "CAKE" - Jim Gaffigan ...
I’m Korean • "I'm Korean" - Jim Gaf...
Jesus & The Apostles • "Jesus & The Apostles"...
FLORIDA MAN • Florida Man - Jim Gaff... ALL NEW MATERIAL
Bowling • "Bowling, a sport you ...
Hotel Pools • "Hotel Pools" - Jim Ga...
Fashion • "Fashion" - Jim Gaffig...
Dog Birthday Party • "Dog Birthday Parties"...
Donut Jokes Compilation • "Donuts" - Jim Gaffiga...
Seafood: Insects of the Ocean • "SEAFOOD: INSECTS OF T...
Hot Pocket Compilation • Hot Pocket Compilation...
Museums • "MUSEUMS ARE BORING......
Hiking • "Hiking..." - Jim Gaff...
Whales • "Whales" - Jim Gaffiga...
Appendix & Saw a Bear • "I Had To Have My Appe...
Idiot Abroad • "Idiot Abroad" - Jim G...
Binge Watching • "Binge Watching" - Jim...
Massages & Saunas • "Massages & Saunas" - ...
Horses • "Horses" - Jim Gaffiga...
Seasons • "Seasons" - Jim Gaffig...
Marathons • "Running A Marathon" -...
Fitness Goals • "Fitness Goals" - Jim ...
4 Kids - Home Birth • "4 Kids/ Home Birth" -...
That's McDonald's • "That’s McDonald's!" -...
Hotel Pools • "Hotel Pools" - Jim Ga...
Travel International • JAPAN & CHINA - from N...
Weddings • "Weddings" - Jim Gaffi...
My Wife's Brain Tumor • "My Wife's Brain Tumor...
Shopping for Women's Lingerie • "Shopping For Women's ...
Bars • "Bars Are Adult Playgr...
Stand Up for the Pope + ACTUAL FOOTAGE • Doing stand up for the...
Least favorite Dr Visit • "My Least Favorite Doc...
MERCH
‪All money raised donated to ThelmagineSociety.org to help food insecure teespring.com/stores/jim-gaff...
LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
Toast (EP 1) • "Let's Get Cookin' - T...
Burgers (EP 2) • "Let's Get Cookin' - B...
Pork Sandwich (EP 3) • "Let's Get Cookin' - P...
Hot Dog & Egg (EP 4) • "Let's Get Cookin' - H...
Pizza (EP 5) • "Let's Get Cookin' - H...
Pasta (EP 6) • "Let's Get Cookin' - P...
Cookies (EP 7) • "Let's Get Cookin' - H...
Meatball Parm (EP 8) • "Let's Get Cookin' - M...
Peas & Corn (EP 9) • "Let's Get Cookin' - P...
Mikey Takes over (EP 10) • "Let's Get Cookin' - M...
Oatmeal Soup (EP 11) • "Let's Get Cookin' - O...
Garbage Plate (EP 12) • "Let's Get Cookin' - G...
Chicken Fillet (EP 13) • "Let's Get Cookin' - C...
THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (the next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
BOLOGNA • Mike and Pat Show: Bol...
DADDY DOG • Mike and Pat Show: The...
HOT POCKETS • My Kids Try/React To T...
SPAGHETTIOS • My Kids Try/React To S...
LIVERWURST • My Kids Try/React To E...
PALE FORCE
EPS 1 & 2 • "Pale Force" - Jim Ga...
EPS 3 & 4 • "WHAT ARE YOU DOING CO...
QUARANTINE LIFE: (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
Welcome to Quarantine • “Greetings from Quaran...
My Kids Ask about Covid-19 • "MY KIDS ASK: About CO...
Quarantine Update 1-3 • "What are you gonna do...
Quarantine Update 4-6 • "The Kids Don't Like Q...
Quarantine Update 7-9 • "When is Quarantine EN...
Quarantine Update 10-12 • "Does this mean I'm st...
DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. To watch past episodes of click JOIN and become a MEMBER. Membership fee (99 cents) is donated TheImagineSociety.org to help those in need.
JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food stand up)
St. Louis Pizza • "St. Louis Pizza" - Ji...
Colombian Breakfast • "Hot Chocolate with Ch...
Kansas City BBQ • "Kansas City BBQ" - Ji...
Spain - Jamon & Churros • "Spain - Jamon, Churro...
Cleveland- Polish Boy • "Cleveland, OH - Polis...
Rochester (NY) - Garbage Plate • "Garbage Plate, Roches...
MY KIDS REACT:
My Kids React to my 1st Stand Up TV Appearance • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
My Kids React to my 1st Stand Up Special • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
TEXTING WITH JIM
Would you like receive texts from Jim? Text Jim at 646-980-6600
James Christopher Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 2 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.

[@lawrencehodge6273]

Only a genius could stand up there for 7 mins and talk about Subway and make it hilarious. Bravo Jim. One of my favorite comedians.

[@asahmosskmf4639]

And he always reminds the audience his wife helped out ! ❤

[@jamisonmoore3492]

He did almost 10 minutes of nothing but horse jokes. Lol. Genius

[@wallfulls2656]

I wount be able to hold a strait faces

[@LordQueezle]

I think that's kinda what makes it so funny is he runs with a joke that's funny at first then he stretches it to absurdity to keep it funny. The horse routine is a great example

[@Pokemc0831]

Obviously never saw an oddonesout video

[@jakesaysknee]

“We all like Jared he seems like a good guy” Well THAT didn’t age well.

[@areyoufriendly]

When he mentioned kids I thought he was gonna go there.

[@mchapman2424]

Haha that really dated this comedy bit

[@CameronBrtnik]

do you think Jim actually loved this?? I have a feeling he has someone to do that for him... prove us wrong Jim!

[@davidpeabody3429]

Like milk

[@Hed_Vase]

5:55 kids know of him for the wrong reasons

[@scottlasley4593]

That Brooklyn guy! "Here's 3 slices of ham, get yourself somethin' nice." Haha! Always hilarious, Jim...

[@plissken2156]

It's so simple.

[@musicandpoetry_8]

Lmao yeah that was really funny

[@christopherlynch3314]

"Oh, that's where I crossed the line?" I almost spit out my coffee!

[@Kcali111]

Lol

[@LadyVoldemort]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ginatucci201]

Mmmm slurpin tuna water!

[@dougiebuckets1364]

I spit out my tuna water 💧

[@mchief786]

This guy is a comedic genius, who else gets a laugh every 3 seconds? Most comedians gotta build into their big punchline but Jim gets them as if they are nothing. One of the best most underappreciated comedians of all time!

[@surveyordave]

Gaffigan is the only comedian I have ever seen who can come up with a topic...and then come up with 25-30 one-liners on that topic. Def a genius.

[@loggrad9842]

It's a laugh track

[@theranter]

@@loggrad9842 The fact that I, a comedy snob, consistently laugh at his jokes says you're wrong. Jim is definitely an underappreciated comedian.

[@TallSilentGuy]

@@loggrad9842 Does the audience know about this?

[@laraoneal7284]

Yes absolutely a comic genius. Laugh nonstop from moment 1 to the end.

[@paleamigo8575]

"In my country I was the Attorney General".😂😂😂

[@bmm894]

So true , my buddy was surgeon in India and now owns 5 Dairy Queen’s here .

[@archfapper211]

In Japan, I was heart surgeon. Number one

[@romantarango1803]

As someone who has worked at Subway, I must say he is completely accurate.

[@jujuaurelus]

@Chinedu Atisele same bro 😆

[@cg-ny9078]

Jim, I cried laughing at your "silently mind-will" for extra cheese face at 1:46! 🤣🤣😂

[@annesweeney5552]

Cause we all do it right! Lol Jim’s the best

[@Prostarter88]

Soo glad i found this guy. Freakin hilarious. The 51 dislikes must be the subway investors.

[@psychedelicfright85]

Bad sandwiches.

[@1980maranda]

“You want mayo on that?” Pffffffttttt. “I feel like I’m at Benihana!” Comedy gold.

[@tonybobay6276]

Those Jared jokes aged about as well as this year

[@feelingtardy]

about as well as that subway cheese

[@floridaman_6079]

Like milk

[@GooseGumlizzard]

@@floridaman_6079 original!

[@A_Dopamine_Molecule]

Prehistoric milk has aged better...

[@ahmedharmouche3341]

"I know the kitchen's not back there, cause the kitchen is the toaster oven." Gets me everytime :D

[@WendyWilliamsLiving]

"In my country, I was Attorney General... would you like some Santa Fe sauce?" HAAAAAA!!!

[@mrnonsense1031]

0:57 the squeeze bottles always make that sound regardless of how much sauce is in them. 😂

[@glacialcat1362]

One time I was at Subway, and the worker asked if I wanted my sandwich toasted. I said no. Then, the worker went to talk with a coworker. When they came back, the same person asked if I wanted my sandwich toasted, and I said no. They said ok and then they put my sandwich in the toaster oven. I was a little disappointed.

[@peateargriffin7593]

Could've been hard of hearing...when I I'm ask a yes or no question I answer while nodding my head in the direction of my answer

[@Utoober729]

The roll probably had dirt on it from falling on the floor. Toasted and you couldn't see the dirt.

[@wyattE415]

Subway is overrated. You can go to a Jimmy John's, say a number, and they throw your sandwich together swiftly because they each have designated toppings. Boom....simple. When I'm at Subway it feels like I'm too involved in the sandwich-making process.

[@donnatate458]

I hope you weren't having the tuna salad sandwich.

[@wyattE415]

@Stan Brule Someone must because it somehow continues to stay in business. I think you underestimate the amount of fools in the world.

[@Moonflowertarot777]

Woke up in an ill mood and immediately made myself watch some Jim stand up. Now I’m laughing. Thanks for being the best comedy medicine 💜

[@cleobinx]

I have been doing the same thing lately and it works like a charm !

[@mlamarana]

This is some sick subway burns 🤣🤣

[@Blalack77]

Man, somehow I can watch your material a thousand times and still laugh until I cry every time.

[@Butterballsballs]

lol same

[@HarambetheWhite]

Subway is like a classy version of a hot pocket. You can eat Subway for breakfast, lunch, and be in prison for crimes against children by dinner.

[@vjohnson6464]

I've watched this at least 50 times and still laugh like it's the first time. I'm so glad I found Jim. Thank you for sharing your comedic genius.

[@Evilkitty64]

🤣🤣🤣" that white puddle of tuna water" 😭 I always thought that I was the only one who found that so disgusting 😂🤣😂

[@ppiron6]

Right?!

[@Durrpadil]

LOL i love the thumbnail to this 😂😂😂😂

[@eponymous_graphics]

that's what made me peep ! thumbs up #13

[@TheDarthEddie]

Subway: the conspiracy to make Sun Chips seem a lot more successful than they are.

[@areyoufriendly]

You should open for Gaffigan.

[@jonp4846]

@@areyoufriendly Most of the people in here think they should, it seems ;)

[@mattlohr]

The only time I ever eat Sun Chips is at Subway.

[@UptownNYC]

@@mattlohr U eat that shit? U actually eat Subway?? 🤮🤮

[@PDRIFT86]

"Bring me the broom stick of little caesar" rofl

[@yankeeladee02]

Ohhh, is THAT where I crossed the line??? 😂

[@Sophia-we6yh]

These subway jokes hold a special place in my heart.

[@jessejames6687]

“What kind of triangle of chesse would you want!!” Lmao 🤣

[@MasterHayate]

I spent years trying to think of a way to describe what a Subway smelled like and 'dirty dishwasher' is disgustingly accurate. Bless you, Jim

[@jcarlo1106]

Omg I can't believe I haven't seen this one I died laughing. Jim you're hilarious I don't know how you always manage to make me laugh. You are my favorite comic! Have a bad day? No worries Jim makes it a good day.

[@janayoung1888]

Thank you for keeping us entertained and laughing during the pandemic. I hope you realize how much you're helping people. Keep up the great work, Jim!

[@navigator2299]

Me before subway: 🤗 Me during subway: 😐 Me after subway: 🤢😵

[@1MinuteFlipDoc]

subway's all right. it's taco bell that spells doom!

[@ethanyunker2042]

We all know Jersey Mike’s Subs are better

[@hutchsayseatme]

I've been watching multiple Jim Gaffigan clips every day since the quarantine started in March, and I'm not even close to being tired of him. I've been a fan for years, but have never seen so much of his material. Love you, Jim! You're the best. I live in CNY and am thinking about trying to make it to your Wilkes Barre drive-in show in July.

[@cisium1184]

I think "oh, that's where I crossed the line" is my favorite Jim Gaffigan joke.

[@majorblitz7219]

Good morning Jim! See you in August! Everyone should!

[@jackharris566]

"......Plastic Air Bag." xD

[@Kcali111]

Lol....right outa control

[@mrnonsense1031]

Jim: *calls Subway bag an airsickness bag* Me: oooh! No comment. He's just right.

[@zippySquirrelface]

Drive-thru Subway is what I remember best from my childhood. In Alaska we had a drive thru subway near the mall. You would order everything you want at the microphone/menu then drive up and pay/pickup your food. I saw a drive thru subway last week in Sisters, Oregon as well!

[@peggyf344]

Subway.... an underground train... fresh?😂😂😂

[@zephyrjet122]

OMG Jim Gaffigan , I'm so glad you not only mention but also nailed the squeeze bottle fart noise ! 💨

[@sideshowtink]

OMG that was SOOOO funny and so true.

[@LisbethAdams]

Jim's new Subway promo with accent: "Why don't you go and get herself something nice...like an unrecognizable cheese slice. Then add a vintage tuna water for some extra spice. Eat Fresh why don't ya?"

[@briansmith8749]

I love that he's clean. I can listen anywhere and not worry about what's going to come out the speaker. When you're clean, and funny, you are "funny".

[@jasonwilde197]

Jared started AND ended his career trying to get into smaller pants. Yes, I know that's a well worn joke, but it's still funny :-)

[@markread7333]

Congrats on having the only "early" comment that Jim probably read and laughed at, but couldn't officially "like" .

[@shawn1928]

totally inappropriate, but i still laughed lol

[@hotdogrelish]

Took me 3 times reading, but finally...

[@user-rj9uw8qc6m]

“You think Jared’s back there?” IM DEAD 😅

[@tvandang3234]

I laughed so hard because I was wondering the same though when the worker went to the back room as well😂

[@TheCarlAlfred]

Such a genius! "Eaaat Freeeeesh." LOL.

[@caughtafaygo]

I love the new yorker or whatever accent stuff. Super funny

[@MrEM-lh9xf]

This is so accurate

[@joeking6309]

Guarantee Jim's next tour wont be sponsored by Subway

[@erikhensler7]

I love all these. I introduced Jim to my Mom with these videos, now she’s obsessed. No pun intended.

[@GerryPicker]

😂😂😂broomstick of Lil Caeser 😂😂😂

[@EricRoseBahamas]

Always enjoyed this routine. Waving from The Bahamas :)

[@randybeans1984]

You could literally talk about anything and make it hilarious!

[@frankm8533]

I asked for extra pickles at a subway last week. I thought the women was going to make me leave the store lol

[@tandokunogirl]

When Jim started talking about Jared (my whole body...cringed) But then laughed at "Bullshit". Kids are so Saavy :)

[@vicawoomar09]

When KZbin suggests a great video that’s hilarious!😂😂😂 Thanks Mr. Gaffigan

[@kathyabeauty]

"Mind willing to get an extra piece of cheese"...lol

[@johngullo9420]

Subway. Home of the salad sandwich.

[@jeffmillward]

Oh my... This guy is FUNNY! I have tears in my eyes! Thank you sir for the laughs!

[@robertodibaggio8181]

"Oh.. Thats where I crossed the Line..?" that's a Great reaction to their reaction..

[@LordVikingLive]

I am hungry !!! Wanna go to subway? Not that hungry..

[@TracedaBassman]

"Why are you Subway employees always in the bathroom?" "Because they let us eat a Subway sandwich during our lunch break. That's how Jared lost all that weight." Just like eating a Hot Pocket, you know what you will be doing for the rest of the afternoon... Thanks for all the videos during the pandemic, Jim. As you can see below, a few laughs in dark times really helps people. Thank your family for all of us as well.

[@Wawiya]

Funny thumbnail 😆

[@love4music1992]

Every special you have made is pure entertainment and joy.

[@habichiblah7534]

He's really good - never watched much of him before, but this Subway routine is ace!!!

[@RyanPowerhouse]

My god, my face hurts I'm laughing so hard.

[@RayCarroll67]

lol Jim that outro looks like your in a Hostage Basement, Brilliant!

[@LiquidGoldSwords]

It's not brilliant, it's a disaster ! He is a hostage and has been for months now, and it starts to take its toll on him. Jim needs a break. He needs to see other people and he needs to go out, to get new material for his jokes, test them on real crowds, and hear the laughs and applause again. Because that's his life ! I feel he has taken a back seat to his family, and that's not good news for us, who like the comedian in him. And it looks like he has no other choice, but I don't know if it's the case. I don't know how it is currently in the USA, but in Europe, small crowds are allowed in theaters in some countries, if they respect certain sanitary rules. If that's allowed in the States as well, I believe he should go for it.

[@savsquared]

Jim, as always, your observations on life are spot on...

[@williamtufts3600]

I'm literally eating Subway watching this and it's all true lmao!!!

[@shooby9496]

I feel compelled to watch this every time I eat Subway. 😂

[@roxanncorston9403]

JIM IS THEE BEST!!!!!!!

[@Kaemea]

So much fun watching anything you and the kids do. 😁 Part of that joy is from the fact that KZbin has been playing a Hot Pocket ad every time I open one of your videos. I giggle each time. 😂

[@jamescooper2618]

Jim is one of my three fav comedians of all time!

[@vadamsable]

😂😂😂😂😳"Tuna gazpacho!" This was so good.

[@ginatucci201]

Lol its so true about the employee demeanor!

[@KennethSorling]

Thanks for sharing these clips with us. You da real MVP!

[@Kcali111]

I just love Jim's comedy all of it, especially this one.... Few lines that had me rolling There are mice that wont eat subway cheese.... I can make it at home for .20 or watch this sociopath make it, with that far away look in their eyes. Lol In my country i was attorney general..... And the whole series of tuna jokes was nasty Jim..... Funny but gross..... Big love for laughs to start the day. Thank u.

[@Evilkitty64]

Yes☺️ ALL of it, even reading it here has me in stiches 😅

[@miltonmagic]

The most hilarious things in life what we all think and this genius just says it as accurately and funny as possible

[@13musicgl13]

one of my faves!!

[@ambagangsta2016h]

Best bit ever! Love ya Jim😋😊

[@fisherdickens]

Thank you! Such fun twisted thinking!

[@beckyhagberg5211]

More challenges with your cute kids please! Like tasting things blindfolded to guess the flavors. (Different flavored chip or oreo cookie challenge etc)

[@brianmoyachiuz905]

We all know Jered is having a different footlong in prison with extra mayo 😂 meatball and sausage hold the bread

[@judycoulter4556]

Another awesome routine. Thanks Jim.

[@Obiter3]

I can't say enough about the freshly processed turkey-based meat food products at Subway

[@jamesnelson1266]

Star Lord I will

[@amyyoung2804]

Haha. So true

[@jimc.6127]

It's probably the best of many I've watched.

[@samanthadesalvo3747]

I have listened to this at least 200 times and it is still amazing

[@skyak4493]

Jim pushes funny to new levels. I never would have believed that I could laugh so hard that the meatball sandwich I was eating would come out my nose! EEAAT FFREESSSHHH!!!

[@joansnow4013]

I love your stand up!!! Have a great day Jim

[@sweettea527]

"We all like Jared. He seems like a good guy." 😳

[@eponymous_graphics]

great clip. gonna search fo' mo'.

[@Natas_Nico08518]

I had to find this video. I bought a Tuna Unwich at Jimmy John’s and even though it was wrapped, the tuna water dripped all over my sweater dress. I told my 5yo in my best Jim Gaffigan voice the “Tuna water” got on my dress. He cracked up at me. He actually laughed when he heard the tuna water part.

[@Evilkitty64]

THIS skit is so true and yet too funny 😁🤣. They are SUPER stingy with the meat. A few times in NY 😏 I asked for an extra slice of that see-through meat, he said, "that'll be $1.00" LOL 😁. I paid it, but I don't eat there any more.

[@joshuafouse1715]

Subway is gonna blow up the world!!

[@elizabethbrink476]

Who knew subway could be such a funny bit? And it went on for a LONG time. All hilarious 😂

[@lennylovelife]

J Gaffigan is a legend

[@billheuber5884]

I actually had to ask for more lettuce at subway! He was skimping hugely!

[@TheExhaustipatedBookworm]

I used to work at Subway!!! YOU DESCRIBED ME PERFECTLY

[@deemariedubois4916]

LMAO. Another great one.

[@neilopfer5687]

Have eaten at a bunch of Subways over the years and just an outstanding job by Jim Gaffigan for picking up on all the funny things about Subway!! Gaffigan along with Cosby, Carlin, and Chappelle (The Three C's) just one of the funniest of all time!!

[@Bb2b75]

Love it Jim. Thanks for the laugh. :)