Suck It Out! | Michael McIntyre Stand Up Comedy

[@nyx2849]

Michael gets more exercise in just one show than I do in a week

[@sophiegrace2036]

honestly the most relatable comedian ever 😂

[@taytumdolan2364]

I think him, Miranda Hart, Russel Howard and Jack Whitehall are the most relatable ones

[@mystepdadsnotmeanhesjustad6051]

@Mai Nyigguh Agreed!

[@jamesbaker9106]

@@taytumdolan2364 really that's what's funny to you, why?

[@n1k32h]

Com into my hou...?shitgu..! Na

[@MichaelM28]

Taytum Dolan Russell Howard is trash

[@yesterdayitrained]

When his “Fine!” hits that high note of desperation 🤣

[@sammansfield21]

No matter how bad my day is Micheal always brings a smile 2 my face

[@lyndakarpen4127]

Sam Watts I am watching now 23 September at 13.50 pm and I am on my 4th programme. Laughing out loud, the Dubai sketch was hilarious, The Pool sketch even more so and now Bees and Wasps. He is so good.

[@sammansfield21]

@@lyndakarpen4127 I literally can't get enough of him...got all his dvds and lost count of how much I've seen each 1 lol

[@lyndakarpen4127]

Sam Watts hair washing now. My fave are 5=Spice and Waitrose.

[@UwUchibix]

You mean to not 2

[@ittakesallkinds809]

I'm American, & after a day of watching & hearing all of the political claptrap over here, watching Michael McIntyre is both a relief & a joy.

[@DarthTaiter79]

Also American, and I agree!

[@cathycutler7996]

Me too thank the Lord it’s not too much longer to find out.

[@kittykat8169]

I agree.

[@johncopetti1253]

And that would be not just in America. The world needs this man to show us how ridiculous homan beings, and, human nature, truly is.

[@catmom1322]

Ditto!

[@pooriprincess564]

Made my day 😂😂 his scream alone is hilarious

[@mand6377]

There is a fourth way: The Dodgers - when you try to do the matrix moves to avoid the wasp

[@sharonmcauley2582]

I'm a doger then I turn into a total panicker, this guy just tells my everyday life!

[@wallemo1835]

I’m a combo of a total panicker and a dodger. Whenever a wasp enters my vicinity a literally do about 20 laps of my back garden looking like a total loonatic dodging under invisible branches like I’m in the matrix😅😅

[@elanorallmann]

I am a stay stiller, until it clearly doesn’t want to leave me alone, then I start dodging it. Once accomplished that I run away. No panicking, just leave the spot where it has been interested in me at.

[@DragonsAreHungry]

Yep, and I'm totally a combo of all 4 😂😂😂

[@JazTrance]

I'm a dodger first and then a panicker if it doesn't go away! Doesn't help that I'm allergic.

[@thatloganr4819]

If you’re British this Comedian is your every day life 😂😂

[@hdennis1235]

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[@danielslubski1028]

He's more global then you think, I'm from israel and it's 100 percent 😄

[@rebeccaswift7588]

I'm british american. Born and raised in america but my parents are british..I love michael, he makes me laugh every time. I hope you come to america Michael so I can watch your show in person..come to california michael..

[@babygirlrhiannon206]

You don't even have to be british, for him to be everyday.🤣🤣 Lol! I love him, he's great. 💟❤💜💚

[@kimothy595]

My boyfriend introduced me to Michael McIntyre, when we broke up he was well out of my life. But not Michael, his comedy is for me everyday now 😂😂😂

[@LuckyGigi4]

I can never be a “stay stiller”… so funny to me since I’m a “panicker”! Michael is the best!

[@LuckyGigi4]

And for perspective, I’ve never been stung while being a total panicker!

[@JBG-AjaxzeMedia]

i start as a stay stiller, then i become a wafter, and eventually that turns in total panicker

[@Tottington23]

JustBecause Gaming omg same except i miss out being a wafter, cause i dont want to hurt it 😂😂

[@racoonsister]

He forgot the 4th one, the "leaver" I will just say nope, and I'm gone.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

@@racoonsister now THIS is me

[@NOONE-cd4gu]

Same

[@hannahmcdevitt02]

Same😂😂😂

[@debbieparenti3998]

He makes everyday occurrences hilarious.

[@JustLetMeFly94]

It's 3am and I'm shaking the whole bed crying from laughter. Especially the kids stuff. He is so accurate and observant.

[@RussMichaels]

The great thing about his stories is that as a parent it makes you realise that just your kids are not actually the spawn of Satan, everyone else's kids are obviously exactly the same as yours :-)

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

I suggest searching up Montessori at home seriously worthhhhh it aaahh i couldn't imagine trying to parent this way i would end up shouting at punishing all the time if i didn't find out about Montessori in time

[@JoeBleasdaleReal]

“Darling?” *DON’T YOU EVEN!*

[@sdasdasd151]

the fact that his jokes stretch across different stories is one of my fav thing

[@larawabsie]

I love how the title includes ‘stand up comedy’ and the first frame shows him sitting down xD

[@sunshinesmile94]

I have a 5 second threshold of increasingly nervous wafting, followed by silent but agile panicking. I reserve the vocal, unreserved panicking for when I am trapped indoors.

[@juliatownsend5922]

I am the panicker with wasps. Had me in stitches 😅😅😅

[@emmawarrener3096]

Definitely the best comedian there is !! Everything he says is so true! Love the part about the bees and wasps, I’m a total panicker, and this is so relatable 😂

[@starlight1867]

I’m allergic to wasp stings so I am a “Grade A” Panickier !

[@napsta2776]

Iv seen this about 5 times and it still makes me laugh

[@tjkasgl]

My young grandsons kept running in screaming bee's were following them (warm January day in North West USA). One bee came inside and when I put my hand out and let the bee climb on to be escorted outside the boys faces were priceless. They thought I was going to die right there and then

[@francissummers8730]

Harry Potter : Wafter Hermione Granger : stay stiller Ron Weasley : total panicker

[@teganpilling]

Me: Befriends it

[@Tottington23]

just like with the devils snare in chamber of secrets 😂😂😂

[@t-fi153]

Jk Rowling: the bee is gay

[@teganpilling]

@@Tottington23 Trueee

[@Longshanks1690]

@Ebonie 1 * Philosopher’s Stone. Chamber was the one with the big snake.

[@chibako39]

I'm definitely the total panicker🤣 Even a ladybug makes me panic. I can't tolerate the buzzing noises of the insects' wings.

[@ramaabapat]

Me neitherrrr the noises make me feel icky

[@Lizzy-2510]

Lol what I'm afraid of is flies. I once saw a zoomed in photo of a fly on a nature program and I've been terrified ever since 😂😭🤦‍♀️

[@Nettsinthewoods]

How to get rid of a headache.... watch one of these for five minutes and it’s gone.

[@vivienneoneill5400]

I agree.❤❤❤❤❤

[@joanne4758]

What a great way to start a day - thank you McIntyre Team - from NZ

[@Starkiller5121]

His impression of the Stay Still'ers is so damn funny. The way he says DONT WAFT IT is just so silly 🤣

[@KimCarmenWalsh]

You're brilliant Michael!! Love you

[@jacobdeweil3553]

He forgot the Avoiders and the Oblivious. Lol

[@sadrakarugendo9313]

This was me the other day 🤣 😂 outdoors during lunch.

[@louisecampbell3223]

Michael: You're not trying to hit it, you're just gonna move the air near you. And you'll know this is an area where you aren't particularly welcome. Me: Oh. I use that strategy for people instead of wasps and bees

[@craigr07572]

I’ve seen this so many times but I still laugh each and every single time.

[@handyvickers]

Yup.... I've watched it dozens of times, and the one with the kids still makes me scream with laughter!

[@kevs6402]

One of the best-ever comedians we have ever had. Brilliant insight without vulgarity. AND!! getting better with age.

[@ievani7609]

Big up the person moving the spotlight when he’s running 😂

[@georgiahoward5816]

He is so relatable 😂😂😂

[@JohnDrummondPhoto]

I, a wafter, recently chatted with a stay-stiller during a hike. I made this observation when an insect landed on me. Dude was like, DON'T. MOVE. I was like "What? Is there a snake? ... Oh, it's just a carpenter bee." I'm a wafting entomologist. I'm pretty sure, if it had landed on the other guy he'd have morphed into a Total Panicker immediately.

[@gaxamillion_]

You can literally see some people crying of laughter 🤣 that’s how funny he is

[@deneentorkelson5705]

I’m American, and I just discovered the hilarity of Michael McIntyre. His humor is clean and fantastic.

[@sonia336]

Lol this is one of my very favorites lol Michael is amazing. Just love him

[@michellewaite4482]

OMG I love this guy ,he is so funny !!!😅😂🤣

[@goaway2803]

I have that Mother hearing. When you hear your child yell and you know it's play or pain. My poor baby girl got biten by a paper wasp and I knew what had happened straight away. Bees are fine, just move away slowly. Paper wasps are another story. A quick yet silent fleeing is the best technique. Thank you again and take care of yourself, Mate

[@JB-vd8bi]

Urgh! I accidentally knocked a nest when I was 8 and paper wasps stung the hell out of me.

[@goaway2803]

@@JB-vd8bi I'm so sorry for you. They are bloody painful stings. My poor baby girl went down a slide at a public pool and got stung multiple times because there was a nest just under the edge. Her fingers just brushed passed them and out they flew. I just ran when I heard the scream. It was not a happy birthday party scream. The beauty of living in Australia XD Take care of yourself, Mate

[@caralama08]

WTH is a “paperwasp?” Never heard of them!

[@DeZusVanMijnZus]

One time i sat so perfectly still that a wasp crawled in my nose. I didn’t get stung but did revisit my way of coping with wasps.

[@johannaarcher7266]

Haven't laughed so loud in my life!!!

[@johncopetti1253]

Without a doubt one of the funniest men on the planet, and he can do this without getting himself in trouble with "any" woke or minority group. Just soooo good. Cheers and thank s. This crazy world needs people such as he to lighten up and de stress, for a while at least.

[@deborahspooner8046]

So real, so funny

[@katieharris8508]

Me listening to the hair washing bit and literally remembering doing every single thing he says. 😳😬

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

I think 11 months is still too difficult to try holding a flannel on her face but i gave no ideas what else to do shes going to have shampoo remaining in her hair otherwise

[@katieharris8508]

@Ammara Shah Maybe just be carful or ask her if she can hold it on her eyes. Idk

[@AmmaraSHAH773377]

@@katieharris8508 hahaha bless her she's got the skinniest fingers and arms exactly how i was as a baby she might learn to at some point as her muscles get stronger so there's no harm in getting her used to the idea of covering her eyes with a flannel from this age if she's already wiping surfaces to clean them like me lol

[@Ceci_et_Cela]

I found out that the reason they want the blinds up, is in case there is an accident, emergency personnel will be able to see if people are alive, conscious etc, Michael is hilarious !!

[@caralama08]

CORRECT!

[@lynb2039]

the stewardess, standing steadily before you: "Excuse me, is your seat belt on, in case of turbulence".

[@terryrussell-dn2is]

This was so on point with our daughter!! She's definitely a panicer! Michael sounded just like her!!!❤

[@carol-annemartin401]

laughting so hard might need a depend lol thank you so much great start of the day :)

[@jojspilledthetea]

Him complaining about his kids makes me realize how lucky my parents were lmao

[@MegaSkills9]

The wasp story gave me a flashback of what happened at school when I was in 2nd grade. (True story) A wasp or hornet landed on the face of the kid sitting next to me. All the kids laughed or screamed. (Mixed reactions) The Teacher was watching and quickly said to him "Don't move...Just stay still and it won't hurt you." The poor kid sat perfectly still but terrified as the wasp took its time... crawling all over his little face. After about 30 seconds it crawled into one of his nostrils. Now everybody was screaming...including me. The poor kid starting clawing at his face as the wasp stung him in his sinus cavity. Teachers had to drag him out of the room kicking and screaming. They rushed him to the hospital but they never told the rest of us what happened to him. He never returned to school. We never knew if he died...or if his family just took him out of school. Maybe they moved after he recovered? That day changed me, and made me afraid of all bee's for the rest of my life. Imagine what the kid went through?

[@BloodyRoses666]

You never asked? 0.0

[@MegaSkills9]

@@BloodyRoses666 They didn't tell me. Maybe he moved or maybe he died.?

[@lynb2039]

horrific

[@michah321]

You could look through the local paper archives for that year for obituaries or search history name and the area. That's an alarming story. Either way, not telling the kids what happened was a terrible way to handle that

[@Chic-A-Dee]

He became a wasp

[@jessbutterill7192]

When your allergic to bees and wasps you become a panicker and also sometimes a stay stiller 😂 I’m absolutely petrified of bees and wasps because I’m allergic. I didn’t mind them before I found out i was allergic

[@simonap9975]

I’m in Australia, I don’t know if he still does stand up but I love him so much and would’ve love to watch him live

[@j-n-dfilms473]

Pure gold this guy! 😆🤣😍

[@PssychologybyQFG4010]

Best way to start your day😂Love M McIntyre.

[@snapdragon606]

I can relate to all of this, best comedian ever.

[@divinenurturerjanenecummin2020]

Best of the best bar none!

[@michelepinsky4948]

I sent this to my niece who has two little girls. She called laughing her head off and said, "He knows exactly what my life is like". She was having a tough time and it was good to get her to laugh.

[@sadrakarugendo9313]

In the summer time I am always in the Park. And whenever I see the bees I panic 😹😹

[@ekdaufin1485]

OMG when he bangs the roll on the screen!😂😂😂. But those meals are in first class!

[@alisonmansfield9052]

I go to bed every night with Michael,i sleep better with a good laugh, my all time fav comedian

[@erikteh9625]

OMG me tooooo!!

[@amyslingsby6947]

Yesterday I was stung by a wasp and instantly went from life-long wafter to utter-panicker.

[@ursula5893]

Poor you

[@alexandramoss3015]

I am a stay stiller for bees. Best strategy for them. Even if they land on me I don't panic, they won't sting me because if they do they die. WASPS tho, they are bastards. They sting anything and everything. Doesn't matter if you stay still or not, they will sting you. So, I look for the closest exit and escape. If there is no exit currently available, I stay still and try and get the attention of a nearby wafter. They will waft it away leaving me free to promptly thank them and leave the room. I dub this, the best method. After all i have never been stung.

[@prof_hedgehog7456]

Alexandra Moss wafting is probably the best strategy because if you stay still and get stung once. It releases a pheromone that will get the others to sting also. That’s not fun

[@Menarecuteaaa]

The sad thing is the one time i did get stung was by a dead wasp

[@alexandramoss3015]

@@Menarecuteaaa Ha! Wow, that is unfortunate. I'd be extremely pissed, if I were going to be stung, I'd at least like the opportunity to kill the bugger myself for revenge.

[@pieterdepauw6599]

"Best strategy"? Look at 1:17. That's what all stay stillers think smugly :p

[@sophiering2102]

My dad is a wafter. Wafted the wasp one way, then the other, hitting the stinger both times.

[@kuzzbillington6392]

If you want to see a 100kg 186cm man panic and scream like a young girl, just introduce me to a clingy wasp.

[@forevercomputing]

A what man?

[@kuzzbillington6392]

@@forevercomputing it's a transformation between opposites :p

[@alexrose9507]

I'm somehow a wafter, stay stiller and total panicker at the same time. 😂

[@dij3781]

Hilarious....soooooo funny! One of the BEST!❤

[@wildnfree101]

I must admit I am a waffder, never been stung, never upgraded to total panicker. A past male friend of mine, may he RIP. 6ft 2", 16 stone, backed me up in a couple of bar fights. Surprised the hell out of me, he was a total panicker. I could not believe it, you would have thought someone was shooting bullets at him. I don't know whether it was a wasp or a bee, but as far as my friend was concerned it was a KILLER!

[@prof_hedgehog7456]

T Iger when you say “RIP” do you mean he died?

[@JB-vd8bi]

I know a guy thats similar but he's allergic is why he panics

[@BloodyRoses666]

Sounds like a good friend :3

[@MrAkaacer]

Bees I can stand and will waft away. Wasp's I don't trust and I will hunt it down unless it leaves the area.

[@karenax254]

He's so right on about kids and veggies!!

[@notadumbblond3]

You forgot the 4th one. The "bee and wasp friend". I went from being the total panicker, to stay stiller, to the friend in a single day, despite having been stung badly 5 times in my life. A trial by fire really.

[@alexpond648]

The leaving the house situation - absolutely acurate, apart from the brother, who will instandly start to cry, when we shout up the stairs that we're leaving without his twin, whereas the older child is immediately on it's way to the car.

[@victoriar9728]

you know your kids take after you, right? LOL. you are a genius:)

[@DoubleDeckerAnton]

He touches the 'funny bone strings' everytime...🗣👂🤣

[@caralama08]

Bones don’t have strings. The “humerus” IS the funny bone - hence the connection & the pun.

[@MrNigelBriggs]

Nothing to fear but fear itself. My Mother was petrified of Bees and Wasps. I remember one outing to the local outdoor swimming pool. My Mum, bare footed started jumping around screaming "I've been stung. I've been stung" Panicing jumping around looking on the ground for the culprit. She found she'd trod on a lit cigarette butt.. Her foot, apparently, didn't hurt any more.

[@angeljacrispy]

Yeah I have a fear of wasps and bees 😂 completely accurate

[@ih2022]

One of the best ever

[@millieroberts9255]

Me: Stay stiller My brother: total panicker My dad: wafter

[@caryhofmann4645]

Omg his description of living with children: this is my LIFE!!!!!

[@jsully7426]

This is my favorite story!!!! 😂

[@EllieDickinson28]

My friend is that 1 impossible child. She’s really well behaved, does what she’s told, prefers fruit and veg over sugary or salty foods. She’ll go to be earlier than most kids our age and showers almost everyday. Damn, maybe I’m just imagining my opposite self.

[@sadrakarugendo9313]

Me when I Fall down 🤣😂🤭

[@milasaba7594]

🤣🤣 Definitely the last one

[@kahleiaforrest5854]

I'm none of the three I love wasps and I try and pick them up like I encourage them to come over to me and I pet them I just think they are so cute!!

[@kimishome3848]

It’s gunna land and go in your ear! Move lol 😂

[@0darkwings0]

A great comedian :)

[@Kasey.Walker]

I am most definitely a panicker

[@EDH10]

7:36 oh and flush the- you know... 🤣🤣🤣

[@houndandhandbag]

Is this your poo? kids: no wife: Don't you even!

[@Rincenso]

This skit reminds me of a story my grandmother and these days mother, every time the temperature goes over 30, used to tell about my grandmothers grandmother and her sister. Sitting in the shade of a fruit tree, probably apples, wasps crawling all over their faces as they babbled away for hours. My mother asked how they could ignore the wasps that easily. Their answer? "What wasps?"

[@carolegustin345]

Hahahaha. Seen this with a green frog . Lol😅

[@broccolihighkicks3857]

I’m a stay stiller...just frozen out of pure fear haha

[@sean9177]

I'm a stay stiller. Never a wafter or a panicker. Lucky that nothing's landed on me. Might panic. It would be so uncool. Lol

[@matisse5565]

I’m a runner 😂

[@RandomGuy-bf8wq]

I'm staystiller then upgrade to panicker but not as dramatic as he showed 😂

[@takumi2023]

Just in case anyone is interested, the blinds is for emergency workers in case of a crash or accident. The emergency worker can look into the plane to see if anyone is passed out in their seat.

[@aloysiusmaina2625]

Children are a never-ending treasure 😅😂. Soap 🧼 in the eye 👁 😂

[@grey9326]

I just get flattered that the wasp mistaked me for a flower

[@LowOn3nergy]

In P.E I once got stung by a bee and some girl in my class screamed.I just stood there. Then I just went:...ow Then I got to miss P.E for the rest of the day😎✌️

[@nazarenekarodia588]

Makes my day@

[@gd6585]

I’m a total panicker, especially here in Japan with the Giants Japanese Hornet!

[@ssjmatt8424]

unfortunately me panicing got me stung, well. It was pretty much because after panicing I thought the wasp had gone since I saw it fly away. But it decided to fly behind me and crawl up my shirt =w=

[@simplica1]

😂😂😂

[@nathantorresstanevil6958]

My 6yo cousin cries when she sees a wasp or a bee, she runs for her life lol

[@szendrich]

I'm a total panicker. ..LOL Whether it's a wasp or some other nasty insect, I'm a dead duck!

[@reposefulcrane4269]

How can we, as a living race of beings on this world, take AIR TRAVEL and make it boring? We are soaring above the clouds! It's amazing and I used to love it. But then we somehow transitioned to "all the blinds need to be closed, people are trying to sleep." What happened to bringing an eye mask or the commercially available ones on the plane? I want to look out the window but we somehow, collectively as a society decided that every single blind needs to be down after takeoff because "it's too bright, I'm trying to sleep."