Awkward Massage | Michael McIntyre Stand Up Comedy

Best of Encore performances by Michael McIntyre. Taken from Michael's specials Hello Wembley and Showtime.
Watch Michael's stand up comedy special Showman, streaming now on Netflix!
www.netflix.com/title/8125897...
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Website: www.michaelmcintyre.co.uk/
Facebook: / themichaelmcintyre
Twitter: @McInTweet

[@totallyawesome8587]

"Oh there's a bible next to the bed so you can pray for an upgrade" 😂😂😂

[@delilah28100]

But really, why is there always a bible in hotel rooms?

[@BinaGodiva]

delilah28100 Gideon, the organisation aims to put a bible in every hotel room around the world. They want everyone to have access to one.

[@LL-vj5yp]

delilah28100 ....in case the person is depressed or suicidal. To give hope for the future.

[@sassycassie1282]

Michael better not ever change his hair style because it’s funny to see his hair bounce with his jokes.

[@nakynie463]

Hell yea

[@suemcdermott3482]

Yea just like he's body most active comedien l know but he fantastic cheers mate LoL 😜

[@imogen4400]

It really does add to the comedy 😂

[@marilynseptember21]

Do you want wan key?

[@thehorsebackheroine5950]

@@marilynseptember21 🤣🤣🤣 I thought that was so funny too!

[@jc9552]

I wonder how many miles he walks on stage during one performance.

[@suemcdermott3482]

Yes at first I thought he had ADHD LoL 😂😜

[@bubbletiplister4897]

you know how for football players they have cameras counting that? Would be funny to have these stats for famous comedians too. Jokes per meter :D

[@bokybok3558]

0, we use meters/kilometers

[@meirblum7313]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[@asemwindows]

that's his gym

[@ioaza]

1:30 "do you want one key?" cameraman : *laughing while shaking the camera*

[@project_letters]

XD

[@FirstLast-qj4eh]

Haha haha

[@eggfriedrice9216]

lmao imagine how he shares stories over dinner

[@user-mc6zk8tc8c]

Probably gets through it quietly. Nobody wants to take their work home, when they're relaxing.

[@deborahwatson2432]

Kevin Bridges 🥰

[@project_letters]

"Do YoU wAnT wAnKeY?!" **gets up and matches across the room to continue his story**

[@daniya8336]

he takes the most normal things in life and makes them soo funny

[@noah0172]

5:34 “The Shampoo- conditioning- body wash- shaving cream- toothpaste milk. Milk? I might try this in my coffee 😂😂

[@cisium1184]

I'm shocked that this guy is essentially unknown in America. He's hilarious.

[@deaniewinchester]

I found him via youtube. I think he's my favorite British comedian. Never fails to make me laugh hard.

[@suemcdermott3482]

America wouldn't know good comedy if they fell over it and the the people who went and seen Jimmy Carr in America didn't get it and on a talk show talk show they tryed their hardest to get the better of him boo and America you do have the best movies in the world but you don't have best comedians in the world that goes closely between England and as l am a Aussie we are right up there with England and they do have the funniest so up ya bum LoL 😂😂😜😘

[@claire6754]

That’s nuts! He’s our most prized asset in England, I can’t imagine everyone NOT knowing him! 😂😂

[@amandacollins7507]

Oh I know! I live in Ohio and have asked people if they’ve heard of him and not one person has said yes. I randomly found him on KZbin and now I’d love to go overseas to see him live. Especially Send To All.

[@Alfredromeothatsme]

I live in Oz and have followed this guy for years. He is the best stand up in the world by far!

[@xxsohalalmodexx]

It’s official that British ppl are the best comedians in the world

[@3TAN12E]

Why you american

[@andrewdixon7015]

I'd say that not in general. However the good ones tend to be amazing. Either great or terrible not a lot between

[@fulviozottola8161]

Really? Try American comedian Tim Hawkins. At least he doesn't have to use Swear words, to get a laugh.

[@chesterlester5770]

Fulvio Zottola like Michael McIntyre

[@iggyblitz8739]

Yep, as an Australian I agree, ours are ok and we have some funny ones but the Brits overall are better.

[@Luna426]

I love how he manages to tie everything together in his jokes! it is the small details that just make it pop

[@kauffrau6764]

He's a genius!

[@daniya8336]

who has been binge watching him since quarantine

[@CruzR1111]

Watching this with headphones at midnight on hotel balcony facing other hotel balconies literally laughing out loud the whole time. Couple of people stuck their heads out to see what was going on and gave me a dirty look. i had no idea how loud I was but they need to chill out. Maybe they need “one key” 🤣

[@raeannaroylance5401]

😂

[@daniya8336]

all the other comedians try to hard but he is a natural

[@oluwatobidavid8773]

You should try watching Sarah Millican as well

[@daniya8336]

@@oluwatobidavid8773 ok i will thanks for the recommendation

[@JoeyStar99]

Other than Robin Williams and Rowan Atkinson (tied for first), he's my second favorite comedian.

[@threecheers5101]

Daniya check out Sean Lock, especially on ‘8 out of 10 cats does Countdown’. He’s brilliant too

[@project_letters]

Dave gorman's good but idk if he's your style idk you never know though!

[@Freqfitt]

I honestly can't find any comedian funnier than Michael lol

[@craftyrouze]

Lee Evans :)

[@arihargreeves378]

John Mulaney or Bo Burnham is good but same

[@Rynowm]

Try Gabriel Iglasias. AKA, Fluffy.

[@JoeyStar99]

Michael is amazing, but I don't think anyone can match Robin Williams... I'm sorry

[@samdan986]

Peter kay

[@Nettsinthewoods]

Wow! The size of that audience, it’s takes courage to face that lot no matter how good you are...

[@tiffanylowles552]

It will be funny to find out what he comes up with after Corona Virus 🦠 and how we handled the virus 🦠

[@mattheweaton9521]

Done kzbin.info/www/bejne/gnbVkGtqfa-Vnc0

[@piretreiljan9398]

There's nothing humorous about a deadly world wide pandemic.

[@tiffanylowles552]

Piret Reiljan Your missing my point... I was wondering how Michael (extrovert) always traveling handled the quarantined part of the (introvert) pandemic, being a substitute teacher, missing his big birthday 🎁 to Africa , how many KZbin videos he binged watched, being home with his kids, meals he allowed his son Oscar to cook, Netflix movies he watched, how many 2020 pounds/kilogram he gained after 2018 huge loss, how many new recipes he made, how many “spices” came out of pantry not normally out of the pantry, how he and his wife handled drinking Champagne 🍾 on a Wednesday thinking it was a Tuesday, how he enjoyed being in pajamas all day, how he handled his kids haircuts and even his hair. how long did it get? How he talked to his parents via Zoom/FaceTime/Skype, teaching his parent how to use the Internet, how he cleaned the 🏡 house after taking a simple trip to the grocery store, how much time he logged on the internet, what he watched on the internet, how many times he watched “Disturbed-The Sound of Silence”, how many home projects he tackled, a foreign languages he learned, books he read “War and Peace”, closets he purged, new garden patio, new garden trellis?, socks found, garage cleaned, basement organized, and even how many KZbin videos of his were watched the before 2019 and after 2020. What animals he observed walking down his quiet 🤫 street without cars 🚗. This is what I was talking about by after the Corona Virus... something we all had to do during quarantine.. the silver lining underneath the pandemic. Laugher is the best medicine. If anyone could do it Michael could... he is a master of human observation.

[@seppedeklerck2338]

@@piretreiljan9398 that's why we need comedians like him

[@tkralva.6668]

@@piretreiljan9398 no but there is a lot of humour in the way people and governments have reacted.

[@emileishak1428]

The way he uses word play. Genius!!! Perfect to watch with the family in quarantine because he's so good, he doesn't need to curse to get laughs. 👍😂

[@emileishak1428]

That's why he does stand up for THE ROYALS 👑

[@iggyblitz8739]

He sometimes swears but not much.

[@emileishak1428]

@@iggyblitz8739 facts 👏

[@AmandaBaias]

EXACTLY!

[@cyndianderson7056]

"Hi, darling. How was it?" "TOSS ME OFF!!!" 😂😂😂 I love this man so much. He's so cute, and so, so funny.

[@victoriaparker2023]

The receptionist could be watching this 😂😂😂

[@daniya8336]

it is probably not real but you never know

[@cottoncandy4486]

Oh the kettle discription is spot on.Those sewing kits come in handy. I always put them in every suitcase and travel bag I have. You just never know when your knickers elastic is going to snap.

[@LL-vj5yp]

He makes us feel that he is just like everyone else.

[@sarahstrong7174]

He is!

[@KTKc431]

He is though x

[@cherbrowne1637]

Never fails to bring on the belly laughs. Fantastic observations on life

[@rmsmith8098]

Watching this again. I wish he could know how much joy he brings into my life.

[@naturalbby1722]

“Hi darling, how was that?” *”TOSS ME OFF!”* I can’t with him😭😂😂😂😂

[@WxB2001]

"I don't believe it's your birthday until next month, how very rude"

[@maryannfisher2724]

I found him on UTUBE last year while I was working one night. I was doing security in a large room, watching AV equipment all by myself. I laughed so hard the tears were coming down my face, I think he’s absolutely hysterical. I couldn’t wait to have my husband listen to him, but he’s hard of hearing and has a terrible time understanding him, so he doesn’t find him funny! I have watched the same performances over and over and laughed as hard every time. Sure wish he’d come to the US, Florida where we live....I would love to see him in person!

[@starlingswallow]

7:06 "What if they don't like me? It's really scary, they might kill me...I'm outnumbered, hugely." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@alisonmansfield9052]

He is simply the best,better than all the rest,we adore you Michael

[@sueevans7835]

All true and so accurate... Never fails to crack me up. The 'one key' is such a great story and his observations are hysterical.

[@dgirllamius____x]

I work in a hotel and NO ONE uses the sewing kits 😂😂

[@b2bconnectnow]

OMG nearly peed myself and choked to death!!! He's hilarious :-)

[@juttaagpawa4999]

Thank you,thank you,thank you for the laughter .🤣❤️

[@cherrytate7149]

So true ..especially filling the kettle in bathroom.🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@stevenburns5124]

Michael McIntyre, Billy Connolly, Lee Evans, Russel Howard and the late George Carlin. My comedy genesis that I can always turn to when I need a good laugh.

[@joshhunt4844]

At 6:31 can anyone else hear a witch in the background laughing 😂

[@exemplar7205]

That woman howling with laughter during the towels joke lol

[@anachronist]

I can relate! My wife and I had a "couples massage" at a spa in Thailand. We were both in the same room, each with our individual masseuse, who were both young attractive women in their late teens or early 20s. I spent the hour furiously solving math problems in my head to suppress my body's natural reflexes as my masseuse kept getting dangerously close to my nether regions. My wife had a great experience and thought it was hilarious when I told her afterward.

[@racheldean489]

Omg this is so funny "Milk?!" "I might try it I'm my coffee!"

[@racheldean489]

Lol aha

[@dianagolden4537]

I swear he's soo freaking adorable and funny 😆 💙💙 love his comedy ❤

[@WiseDragon50]

"I'm sorry i thought you did head"😂😂😂😂Oh no he did not say that!😂😂😂😂😂

[@WiseDragon50]

@@druidomarchi824 It's a reference to oral sex.

[@corneliaeleanore3215]

I don't who asked the question, but you helped me, thanks XD 💗

[@naturalbby1722]

@@WiseDragon50 wow leave a little to the imagination😂😂😂 so direct😭😂😂

[@WiseDragon50]

@@naturalbby1722 Hey someone asked, I answered.😶

[@jsemplefelton5348]

@@WiseDragon50 - is that when you just sit around and talk about it?

[@gilmourishgilmourish6205]

He can cover any topic and make iT into something hilarious

[@vinzi3670]

This man is amazing just amazing...if there's someone I want so see irl in a show well then it's him! He seems so genuiene and nice !😊

[@marymcdonald3778]

He never gets old! :)

[@charlottecolley8713]

He is the best therapy ever! Just listening to him and exploding in continuous uncontrolled laughter is all one needs! I have only just discovered him; now watch many of his shows and have discovered that, aside from engaging in the incredible joy of understanding; recognizing onself in all the infinite situations he interprets and just loving the laughter he extracts from me; he has literally changed my life. Grazie Michael sei un fenomeno!

[@cherryblossom3046]

The shortbread biscuit eating is comfort munching after the stress of turning down the 'wankie' offered by the receptionist, Michael 😂

[@enasajackson2319]

You make me MISS IT SOOOOO much....LAUGHING my ASS OFF TEARS, BREATHLESS and ABS💯 BRILLIANT 😂

[@pamwalker6284]

He's my absolute favorite!! Sooooo funny!!

[@Psion_Phoenix]

“Hi darling, how was that?” *“TOSS ME OFF!”* 9:57

[@raeannaroylance5401]

😂

[@h.calvert3165]

"It's not your birthday until next month!" 🤣

[@jqphg7978]

I cannot believe there are thousands of people in the audience! I have never seen such a big audience gather for a comedian. And very well deserved!

[@alexbenavidez4500]

That one woman literally WAILING with laughter lmao

[@khinzakhan66]

My cheeks and stomach hurt!!!! Brilliant

[@Puravidastudios]

His take on the details in life reminds us that every day people experience funny moments we can all relate to on some level. It's genius! Michael's humor is the best medicine ever!

[@TrailPony]

I'm rolling. I seriously hope to see Michael live one of these days! Gosh I haven't laughed so hard in so long. Thanks!

[@brandieo6165]

One of the funniest comedians ever!!!!

[@katecardinale787]

Hilarious, thanks Michael! I always crack up over your comedy.

[@Ale-is1dk]

Miranda wholeheartedly disagrees about the whole hotel thing😂

[@OurBluegrassBoy]

I had the exact same thought! 😝

[@dibryan5061]

The man is brilliant ❤

[@seaniboy123]

At 6:32 the high pitched laugh is so funny😂

[@lbnewell23]

Someone is the audience is either finding Micheal really funny or their giving birth. Not quite sure which

[@KanFanKan]

Both

[@mstp8606]

@@KanFanKan or neither. Murder us popular these days

[@KanFanKan]

MSTP o.O

[@Zalheide]

omg i was about to comment the exact same thing LOL

[@davelinssen6722]

Either way, her seat must be wet

[@darienchrysafis3655]

I love sewing kits and Bibles❣️Once, in a hotel, I had to replace a zipper by hand and had to go out and buy my own needle and thread.

[@JacquelineUnderwood]

The sewing kits are so handy, though, admittedly, I started carrying my own mini kit a while back because apparently I’m very prone to rips and holes 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@ingeborgbaltussen7773]

Next time just ask at reception. They usually have them available. Or shoe shine.

[@susanclements9168]

My favourite stand up Michael always hilarious.

[@MrKryss2k]

Should have used your "1 key" before the massage 😁

[@leeboriack8054]

The massage sketch is hysterically true.

[@bilinasmini3480]

love to see him in person!

[@Mad-RCandHOBBY]

"is that included in the wake-up call?" 😂👍

[@gillkati6294]

The funniest man on the planet, he can take any subject and make a joke out of it, the other day I had tears running down my face, the muscles round the stomach area ached, what was I watching, the one about children followed by the dentist and Ackingkacker, I though I was going to be sick,or have a heart attack. Very funny, Michael, and keep up the good work.

[@donnafite951]

Just fun- clean humorous fun!! Love Michael’s videos!

[@denisestovin3522]

I love the hotel one. I always untuck the sheets at the bottom. Some times he just reminds me of a little boy!

[@victoriamitchell8274]

Michaels delivery of the punchline is actually spot on in all his shows, it’s great. I’d recommend Jack Whitehall he’s pretty good too :)

[@jirihozpodebrad23]

I cried laughing during the UHT milk / drawers / kettle part... so true :'-D Thanks for that!

[@edgarbeat2851]

I was in Paris and in a cafe. I asked for a cup of tea with milk. I was given a cup of tea and one milk. I kindly asked for more of those milk capsules. She gave me another milk capsule, then another and another, all the while getting more angry 😆 as I poured them in front of her. Of course in Paris they drink tea without milk.

[@lashangel]

The best comedian ever

[@rachelculloden80]

The KING of comedy

[@myyaoibetch]

I've used hotel sewing kits before because I've ripped a hem before a competition performance or have a loose button before a wedding.

[@kristir1262]

1:51 "is that included in the wake-up call" 😂😂😂. I love that his jokes are usually so pg rated, but then he slips in a couple that aren't, and you really can't tell from his delivery tone or expression!! It's a lost art 🤗 Edit: obviously I had not seen the entire thing when I wrote this 😂...esp the massage part 😂😂. But my point still stands. He doesn't seem vulgar even when doing those sort of jokes. I love that about him. 2:44 oh Michael, don't disparage those sad tea-coffee making facilities... you'd miss them so much when they're not there!! And that's usually in the more expensive hotels (no idea how/why that is)...

[@sophiegrace2036]

funniest guy ever 😂😂💙

[@Libbymoonbeam26]

Whoever the lady is with the really loud laugh in the Showtime clip, I love you.

[@vickiesmith3021]

Legendary!!!!

[@Andy-zh1fo]

The best comedian ever...

[@lizakiwolski7478]

He is just brilliant!!!!

[@hodb3906]

Actually. The sewing saved my trousers when I had to sew the button back on.

[@cisium1184]

It's because hotels etc are all DIY now, even at the nice hotels. Time was, if you needed a button sewn or a suit pressed, someone from the hotel came and too the suit and brought it back ready to wear.

[@hodb3906]

Cisium oh really? I didn’t know that. Either way my mom learned me to sew something so it was a win win for me.

[@Hello-mj2fw]

The 18 people who disliked are probably sheet-people.

[@kiahpeace9090]

Or ex-girlfriends

[@Hello-mj2fw]

@Kiah peace or both.

[@jacketpotato8185]

Underated comment

[@tuchinimini]

Sheety people 😂

[@CarolFremel-my4hs]

Me sheet person blah!?

[@cherryblossom3046]

Scoff the biscuits to get over the trauma of checking into the hotel 😂

[@christinakav5029]

So good! Hope he is ok in the covid world!

[@terryrussell-dn2is]

Genius!❤

[@voodle48]

I have literally just been to see him tonight. 12.6.23 in Melbourne Australia.

[@mattfinish8631]

Massages are stressful for men. It just seems like foreplay. 5 minutes is usually enough

[@hamir712]

The kettle one absolutely spot on. How you want me to fill in from toilet sink 🤮

[@susansantapola]

The two best ever Michael and Peter x

[@TheRoxen92]

I can’t 😂😂😂

[@etch-a-sketch]

So funny!!! Love M. McIntyre!

[@LHyoutube]

I always lose it at "TOSS ME OFF!!!" :-)

[@asemwindows]

very very very genius man

[@gilashroot8697]

I have had to ask for a sewing kit 😁 because a button came off a shirt and I had to sew it back on 🤣. Another time they provided a sewing kit and I had a different shirt that I needed to sew a button on. The buttons came off on the way to my holidays.

[@beverleyshevals2749]

Michael Mckintyre is the best he’s hilarious yes love his bouncy hair goes with him xxx

[@eggarts9158]

To be fair, the the sewing kit could come in useful to cosplayers who need to finish sewing something that’s broken or they’ve left at home

[@gandurk]

Am I the only one whos experienced buttons falling off jackets and things? Sewing kits are immensely useful for small repairs

[@abbyyy33]

woah i'm early!! love your videos!

[@englishmaninfrance661]

Genius .

[@TiptronicSS]

Always so accurate! 😂

[@Moreofthatminecraft]

The shower mat fits you? Lol. Please I need your lifestyle plan haha 🤗

[@dede02024]

He is extremely funny 😁

[@terrilyngriffiths1169]

He’s the only comedian I really enjoy!

[@hangoorhuis1033]

Love those rants