The Stark Truth Behind A Narcissist's Dishonesty

[@m0L3ify]

I saw a great quote recently: "No one gets more upset than a Narcissist getting accused of something they definitely did." 😄

[@CG-no7js]

Perfect quote about narcs!

[@vickit3124]

So very true

[@shaheeda]

They rage when you don’t believe their lies.

[@KathleenEvans7]

They refuse to be accountable and blame their issues on you sadly

[@greenwillow5404]

🤣

[@z32luvr]

It’s strange that they are so scared of shame but yet everything they do is shameful. Truly perplexing.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Lots of twisted logic.

[@michellemitchell5005]

@@SurvivingNarcissism thanks knowledge is power.

[@ND-or5so]

z32luvr: Yes! (about the Narc afraid of shame but does shameful things)That has been totally perplexing to me also. I can't believe I see the Narcissist do this and was confused how this happens in front of my eyes and no one points this out on any Narcissist video. I'm so happy to see your comment because now I know someone else sees the same thing Omg! Thanks you for saying something.

[@joshuaanzalone2060]

Yes it's hilarious how their shame bothers them to the core yet they continue to do things that cause shame

[@karadiberlino]

The cringe is real! 😝

[@timorthelame1]

I think I can speak for a lot of folks when I say that you and Dr Ramani are easily the best two at what you do. We appreciate you.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank you.

[@XThirdEyeX]

Don't forget about Lisa Romano, Michele Nieves and Ross Rosenberg too. They all have helped me make more sense of many of these toxic things.

[@EricLeafericson]

@@Teacher369 I hope the channels start cross-promoting and showing up on each other's streams and videos! ❤️ I also think there a way to expand the scope of some of these channels beyond self-help against narcissistic abuse. For example, what does it say about society when we so frequently enable narcissistic and toxic people? I remember the phrase "the only way for evil people to win is for good people to do nothing" would apply to narcissists and their enablers as well as it applied to WW2-era Germans that did little as N*z*s rose to power and influence. We'd probably need a sociologist to help with such a project, and it may turn off some folks who are just here to seek help in surviving their abusive environment. But I still think it's a worthwhile project.

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

So agreed! Sam V is educational at best but is in no way whatsoever helpful or encouraging other than educating about narcissism and similar dysfunctions. Everyone else just seems like they need a place to rant about their experience. (edited for typos)

[@rkbllc]

Absolutely!

[@maryoleary5044]

They know exactly what they are doing!..gaslighting for instance, is a deliberate choice! They have zero empathy! They try to completely destroy anyone who is brave enough to stand up to their abuse...or tries to help others being abused. They are malicious. They are cowards. They are bullies.

[@bkpsly1]

Been on the receiving end of that destruction, and it isn't pleasant, to say the least. It is outright ABUSE and people who've been treated this way need to understand that. These people make choices and do this on purpose, to people they supposedly care about and love, make no mistake about that. It's insidious behavior. Scary stuff

[@carolnahigian9518]

amen...!!

[@cindymartin6307]

Amen

[@silviac221]

Yes to all of what you said.

[@bornwithadestinyplsdontstealit]

Yes totally agree

[@TravelBits222]

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” is the their answer. No conversation, no explanation, just gaslighting and crazy-making…

[@dominiqueslifehacks]

I asked a narcissist once why he lied (as he did so naturally) - he replied "because it works" ... and that was one of the rare-ist truths he ever told.

[@deniser7894]

Funny how sometimes the truth just pops out. I asked my narc once why he treated me so badly? Got a very truthful answer….”because I can”

[@lenihassveasphaug9634]

wow

[@tinablok5700]

Ma ex narc once said to me that he is an evil person

[@natinamack5123]

Yes, he did. Overt narc.

[@lenihassveasphaug9634]

'it' (the narcissists) said to me. It was joyful to destroy me, couldn't believe what heard.'It' said it again: With predatory smirk.' Cos you are so easy to destroy'.

[@candybradford6468]

Lying is their truth, and that’s a fact.

[@haleywiege9259]

Preach!

[@angelabowman343]

10000000 percent!!

[@emmaharper860]

Absolutely 💯 💯 💯 💯

[@kwajcarol]

It is useless to debate .... deliberate....with a narcissist. Truth is meaningless ...to them.

[@hijodelaisla275]

Is it a fact or an alternate fact?

[@raymondgarafano8604]

It is much easier to walk through the eye of a needle than to have a good relationship with a narcissist.

[@mabeline7]

Truth! I’m definitely using this!

[@colleenshea2293]

I've been noticing that you can never actually have a real conversation with a narc. Never.

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

Thanks….I for sure will screen shot this. Perfect words. God bless you so much.

[@carolnahigian9518]

i had a boy friend Who pretended he grew up in a different City! deluded

[@rosalinda2063]

They are dishonest, sick people, And they know exactly what they’re doing evil evil evil

[@haleywiege9259]

I know! I stay away from my boyfriends narcissistic mother after abuse and threats to hurt me and I guess she, "doesn't understand why!" Delusional, vindictive person man. Then my boyfriend is like, "what do you have against my mom!" WTF! I'm pretty stuck in the situation, he is a grown ass man still living with his mom, hasn't once had his own apartment! He's pretty messed up in the head because of her and I refuse to try and "fix" it.. he needs to do that himself. He thinks her threats are empty and I've tried to tell him when they're raging and acting impulsively, they will do those things.. sweeps it under the rug like it's nothing.. he expects me to accept and deal with it like he is. No respect for how I feel. He benefits from her for his own self-serving things like not even paying rent, I think she is dangerous and is capable of dangerous things and it's even more dangerous that he's oblivious to her actions. I thought to myself, "what if she killed me or something, would he just be like, "oh wow I had no idea she would do something like that! Oh my gawd!" Anyways.

[@wordswordswords8203]

yea, i used to wonder if they knew what they are doing, but yea, after all the experience I have I totally agree with you. they do know and that is truly evil.

[@jengable4888]

Yes !

[@Bianca-sw5id]

Monsters

[@ceilconstante640]

Even after 8 years of studying Narcississm indepth, it's mind-blowing that these creatures walk among us and look and pretend act like everyone else. But, will NEVER change! It's always going to be whatever is beneficial to them!

[@z32luvr]

It’s life changing and detrimental. You can grow stronger from it though.

[@lindabell2940]

What did you say, i love it they do exist, i got on facebook and that was my favorite saying, they do exist, your right hec my mind flows with imaginary, i would think all kind of stuff,is my crazy sister my real sister, hec i would think so much, which she was full blooded real even though mom had other kids, i never really met, the closet thing was hec she is from outer space, my god ,just because how she treated her own family, not normal, they do exist they have red blood, im nuts ,hec i feel bad because yea we lived in disfunction has a child but i never seen mom and dad with this lack of empathy, thats what gets me, i know people can pick up maybe there parents ways, or what ever. but this stuff,will trip you out, hec my sister a retard, she handy cap, no but it happen in my own family, the theorys, hec its like maybe, i have to take responsibility cause she is my blood,i always help my family its in my core, but dear folks, im stuck on, crazyness,sucks, so i cry, yea i was always disfunction somehow, but this mental is deep,help those folks, rock bottom is hell for anyone

[@lindabell2940]

I was talking to comment, Ceil Constante, thank ya ,

[@brianreed8271]

often they will do what feels good to them in the moment.and it's not beneficial to them at all. then the s*** hits the fan and it's somebody else's fault.

[@ceilconstante640]

@@lindabell2940 Hi Linda! I'm also a visual creative thinker. Yes, we are living in the Twilight Zone! It is bizarre how they're not what they seem. They can be so nice and charming in front of others but behind closed doors they can and do unleash their demons on their prey till you don't know exactly what hit you! My Mom, my older sister, older brother and younger brother! But not my Dad. If I told my Mom about things they'd done to me, she'd get mad at me. Thank God I've had some amazing dogs that helped me cope. That would drive me crazy to know my Mom had other kids that I didn't know because I'd wonder so much about them. Life isn't what it seems. They exist and walk among us. Family members, Neighbors, store clerks, people you may know from Church etc. Not from outer space but spiritual offsprings of Satan.

[@judypolstra]

It's shocking how "textbook" their behaviors are. Truly.

[@wordswordswords8203]

I know. It's weird. At least they are predictable.

[@salliegallegos918]

Oh so predictable! Run!

[@dazzlingpumppouches]

Yeah crazy isn’t it!

[@CJLinOHIO]

I am very unforgiving when it comes to people lying to me. Even one small lie makes it difficult for me to trust anything else that they say. Lies are a huge red flag telling you to move on.

[@wordswordswords8203]

Me too.

[@susanhill3100]

Good for you!.. I despise LIARS!... 💯

[@user-yj7xw8on2t]

As am I.

[@annamariehewitt3173]

The Narcissist's Primary Objective in the relationship is to Silently Destroy your Soul by any means possible....

[@CF-wn2ce]

But the irony is in killing their supply they so desperately need

[@jenelledemoro8350]

And that’s the truth

[@lynnfincham6839]

They talk in circles then deny 🤷‍♀️

[@SteeleMagnolia]

The meaning of "validation", after narcissistic abuse: When the flying monkeys realize they've been grossly misled by the narcissist

[@gchang916]

My mother used to beat me. As a child I didn't know why and when I would be beat, so I was very compliant. In my 30s, I asked her why she used to beat me. She said, because I was a bad child. Having a narcissistic mother hurts to this day.

[@sarahcinnamonthriving9563]

Hugs to you... I understand... Both my parents and my sister... Am No Contact. Takes a life long toll because the abuse developmentally damages us... C-PTSD, and brainwashed from our starts to tolerate "bad behaviour". YOU are NOT bad and NEVER were, by definitions of such. IF you are an ongoing work-in-progress, than you are GOOD ENOUGH!!! 🌌🕊🦋🤩💞

[@anielakowzan9113]

I sincerely hope you are finding ways to heal yourself from the abuse. Your mom sounds deranged and there is no way for someone like this to be able to see reality. Hang in there, heal your inner child with much love and comforting directed at yourself 🕯💕😇🙏🏻🍀🕊💕. All the best to you! You deserve to be treated well. Now YOU can be the nurturing parent to your own inner child🤗💕🎉.

[@Daysleeper1000]

Oh, yes. My mother WATCHED my brother beat me with a hammer. He was the hero. I asked her when I was 40 why she sat there...she said it was my fault. Extremely traumatic and I knew she was evil.

[@Liz9999]

This is so hard. I hope you are doing well now.

[@considerthelilies91]

Her behavior reflects her own self-loathing

[@wendyskriver2146]

Told (narc) sister a quote... God keeps score so I don't have to . She immediately told me how our brother was mean to her.

[@bobbarker1798]

So typical!

[@iamgoddessoflove]

Narcissists are excellent at acting. They get people by their charm and performance. It can leave you confused because they are so innocent in playing victim and pointing you as the abuser. Don't fall for it!💙KZbinr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

[@StihlmaddArborist]

They are true snakes in the grass

[@surlif]

Goddess, your comment is so helpful for me, I want to like it at least a thousand times.

[@carolnahigian9518]

I had a "Lead Instructor" who was so NUTZ- she would follow me DOWN THE HALL AFTER I clocked out & say " I am not done CORRECTING YOU Carol"! Absolutely Certifiable UGLY.

[@laureenanderson3122]

I have been tossing up between HFA (Aspergers or High Functioning Autism) for so long and I still don’t know. One is intentional and one is not. My husband was extremely bright. Is he a liar? He always told me that he believed in telling “truth” as much as I did. He was very kind and controlled in most respects. Is that Overt Narcissism? or Aspergers?

[@susangeorge5399]

Charms them with jucy lies!

[@cyncin7247]

They are dishonest and conniving. For their benefit.

[@markmiller9163]

After a lifetime, I'm 63, my mother, brother and sister are no longer pulling their crap on me. I went no contact 2 months ago. It feels so good not listening to the lies that roll off their tongues. With the help of Dr. C. I no longer feel stressed. Thank you!

[@MsMerised]

I hope you're doing well🌻🌻🌻

[@markmiller9163]

I'm doing pretty well, thanks to a number of therapists on KZbin. It's very helpful to be the company of people that have experienced the same things I've been through. Thanks for asking.

[@sherifaissal9548]

“Our problems can’t be my fault.” How deeply I bought into that lie after 25 years …. 😑

[@normagaunce9630]

They are very proud that they can control everything. I think that they want to be worshipped. Thank you for making these videos.

[@jeanetteshawredden5643]

Want people to "adore" them, admire them, worship the ground they walk on.

[@bindibud23]

They lie even when there seems to be no real need for it. For example, my brother, ten years younger and the Golden Child, was an indifferent student and didn't bother learning to spell correctly. My mother's response to this was to say that I too had been a terrible speller at his age. Actually I had been the school spelling-bee champion. Not that I expected her to remember that, or admit it if she did. But to create an unnecessary lie that was 180 degrees from the truth? Who does that but a narcissist?

[@marciathomas1625]

A narcissist will lie when the truth would do.

[@bindibud23]

@@marciathomas1625 Yes! Or even not saying anything would do.

[@wordswordswords8203]

yea, they lie about weird stuff that doesn't even matter. totally nuts.

[@MT-bc1we]

"loose with the truth" is a nice way of saying pathological liar.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I was being diplomatic.

[@MT-bc1we]

@@SurvivingNarcissism big smiles from vermont :))

[@Pukeyray]

The gaslighting and easy flowing lies are heart, mind, and relationship breaking.

[@CaliWeHo]

And devastatingly painful. 😪

[@rebekah2260]

But not soul destroying.....please don't let them.....I'm talking to myself too!!!!

[@salliegallegos918]

Walk away

[@wordswordswords8203]

easy flowing lies. that's a great way to put it. they lie like it's nothing and it just flows out of them naturally with no regret or conscience. It's sickening.

[@alphaomegaambassador4978]

Lying is embedded in the narcissist.

[@RondallReynoso1]

I have a narcissistic sister who did something she should have talked to me about first. When I confronted her about it her response was, "I feel like I spoke to you about it." That was it. She hadn't but she "felt" like she had. I've learned her feelings create her reality.

[@shelley7975]

That's called gas lighting. They screw with your reality. She knew she hadn't spoken to you. They are liars and deceivers.

[@bretonvikanderakabret4468]

This is it exactly, Rondall! This is a big one. Their 'feelings' form their reality. They'll keep moving the goalposts.

[@keplermission4947]

Tut ... we don't confront the dark triad. Imagine they were in the Sicilian Mafia and you know, you either sort it out quick or uh ... you'll be history and they'll just start to build a scheme against you after that!

[@RN-gx7wt]

It's called "Emotional Reasoning" Pretty dangerous, sticks to you like the plague. Stay away from their reality.

[@haleywiege9259]

Exactly it.

[@kathiemihindukulasuriya1538]

I really appreciate this. The dishonesty is so hard to deal with. My Dad has dementia and one brother told me that if we have to make a decision that he may not like, "We'll just lie to him." This made me feel sick, because I realized that he probably has this attitude towards me as well, whenever I am "inconvenient" or "a problem". I now have only one brother that I can trust (out of 4), which makes me incredibly sad.

[@aaronkwolfe]

Disturbing to see that lying is the “go to” default for him, but you seeing that his character was revealed in that moment. If they are capable of lying TO you, they are just as capable to lie ABOUT you.

[@MegaMARLEEN1]

It's sad, sickening for themselves at the first place, but even more for their surroundings. Let's insist on good education.

[@hchayes9431]

Casual lies or white lies. If your dad was dementia then he'd would most likely forget about a certain topic a couple of days later.

[@kathiemihindukulasuriya1538]

@@hchayes9431 My Dad MAY forget, but it is wrong and hurtful to distort reality for someone who is struggling with memory issues. You can distract him, keep the answer as mild as possible, change the topic, empathize with them but you shouldn't lie (contradict reality). They are already struggling to hold on to reality while dealing with a faulty memory.

[@yime6631]

@@aaronkwolfe And know that even though we don't see them talking smack behind our backs, they ARE doing it!! There were such obvious signs my ex was doing this to me! But not obvious until way late in the game. If I confronted him about saying something negative about me, he'd just LIE and DENY that he never said it! It was my imagination that a particular someone that he and I BOTH knew would start treating me differently. For nothing at all bad that I'd done to them! They are spreading lies so people will hate us while we're propping them up so others will like them! Undercover James Bond style smear campaign is what it was for me. He was trying to destroy my good reputation with everyone he talked to who would listen to him. It worked on a lot of them too. I was "bad" because he SAID SO, not because these people witnessed me saying or doing these things he told them, which I WASN'T. Weak people, flying monkeys, or whoever they are that don't FACT CHECK the poison a narc spews are just as pathetic as the narcs themselves. Utterly useless humans. Pardon the rant. I'm in a mood. 😤

[@targetedtyranny4661]

When they are doing their mind games and torturing they will always deny what they do, and blame you for them doing it, they seem to like to collect people on their side so they feel justified, its truly terrible what's going on today with the flying monkeys that help these people in their justification.

[@DJH97]

Oh goodness. This is so spot on. I thought I was going crazy being with husband like this. He kept bringing up my “version of the truth” was wrong. I told him many times he didn’t live in reality. Couldn’t take anymore. He promised counseling and when he wouldn’t stick with it I called it quits. There was no hope of a healthy marriage.

[@brianlane9534]

Well now... About 5, maybe six by now, years ago I asked my lovely wife 😆 to go to marriage counseling. Her reply? "We don't need marriage counseling. There is nothing wrong with our marriage." I'll never forget that, it's an exact quote. It was then I realized I am not married to a normal person. Up until the very end - the day I moved out - she did not once, NOT A SINGLE TIME, ask WHY I wanted a divorce. She didn't care at all. When I served her divorce papers, she indicated that that was what she was thinking about doing to me. I could talk about nominating her for an academy award for her acting ability after that. I don't even have to bring up the fact that I did not believe most of what she said. After a period of time I came to the realization that she probably doesn't even know she is lying.

[@ND-or5so]

I know your right

[@DJH97]

@@brianlane9534 Yep. I know exactly what you were experiencing. I told my ex husband for 20 years we needed help. He just wasn’t “present” for the relationship unless we were in front of people. He wasn’t present as a father. Didn’t even go see my dying son. Knew for decades there was something very very wrong. Kept praying for improvement or that he would see that help was desperately needed. But he said it was me and I should get the help. So I did. Then he left me and wanted to come back so I put the boundary of counseling up. He agreed but didn’t go for long. And found a therapist and Dr C. 30 years of marriage that was a show. A farce. So dad

[@gerir8634]

Funny thing about truth, it is unchanging. That’s how we can recognize it. The truth is truth, whether we like it or not.

[@paulkrenz9593]

The counselling promise is a regular trick they pull to try and keep you hanging, and right at that moment they will be thinking " I am making this promise but there is no way I am going to listen to anything a counsellor says "

[@mystichealer2793]

This is so accurate! The gaslighting made my head spin.

[@jennywager6228]

Made me ill literally

[@pavla2055]

"It doesn't matter if you lie - nobody knows any difference" said my narc husband years ago when confronted with his lying . He still continues to lie even knowing that I know he is . HE becomes enraged when I tell him I'm not falling for the gaslighting .

[@emilywilson7308]

Yup! The BS stops here!

[@sharonboehm5296]

He obviously doesn’t realise other peoples’ intelligence and experiences.

[@wordswordswords8203]

yea. they just don't care. and they usually get away with it.

[@SLR.e14]

Narcissist Father blames, Lies Disrespects , screams in rage The truth doesn’t matter at all And NEVER EVER tell these people your goals or anything about you . The only way to deal with these types of people is to Not deal with them at all & if you have to, Make it short and still NEVER tell them anything good about how your doing When you do finally get away from theme

[@threestepsdown]

Exactly!! If you tell them something you are happy about they will diminish and demean it. I've learned to keep my mouth shut

[@cymbolichuman433]

I remember the expression on his face when I knew he lied to me. Whenever I see that expression on anybody's face, I know they're lying.

[@tahiyamarome]

They have as many tells as a toddler. My favorite is when they look up at you diagonally past their eyebrows (even if you're shorter than they are) trying not to smirk bc they are measuring if you're buying their bs. I started laughing out loud and walking out of the room when my father did that.

[@steviecrow914]

You have the sense you’re living in a funhouse with a narcissist. You’ve got to detach or you will lose all sense of reality.

[@brigitt8149]

Asked not so long ago a narcissist why she was slamming me so much. Her answer: "because I am better than you!"

[@victoria9663]

Their grasp on fact and reality is flawless when they are recalling details of times when you displeased them...I have seen them recount every detail down to the facial expressions accurately of something that happened years ago, but when confronted about their own bad behavior last week they say "you know I have memory problems, you can't expect me to know what you're talking about"

[@laurieannJake]

Omg!!! Omg! You described my husband perfectly are you sure you don’t know him? Jk But seriously and he uses his Parkinson’s now it’s very early onset but he’s got every offense by me down pat but denies his abuses towards me and my daughter we were both flawed in his eyes.

[@victoria9663]

@@laurieannJake it is crazy what they will do to excuse their behavior!

[@pamb2656]

OMG! you are so correct. i have to wonder , is this a brain chemical thing. how do they do this so convincingly? there were times i had to doubt myself. now i know.

[@saratemp790]

One warning sign is, be careful about a partner who likes to fool you with fake "joke" stories. Like they tell you a whole story, and then at the end, they say, "Nah I was just kidding, I made that all up." That shows they enjoy the feeling of fooling you. I had a recent ex like that, who told those fake joke stories a lot. Which annoyed me. And eventually later, I figured out he was a major liar too. So the fake stories were predictive.

[@sjs3590]

My husband likes to tell people untrue stories and he finds it funny when people believe him. I tell him that is not joking. He says it is. He lies a lot! I hate it.

[@RN-gx7wt]

Basically testing the waters.

[@DR-nh6oo]

If you can be bothered to keep listening, a narcissist won’t be able to resist giving you a glimpse of the real truth.

[@martyrose]

The fact is I'm all done playing this game and I simply stopped speaking to the narcissist a month ago. That's a fact. Thanks Dr. Carter & Gus! ♥️ This is spot on!

[@brianlane9534]

Now that you know, never go back. The day I left I went no contact. Not looking back.

[@martyrose]

@@salliegallegos918 Yep. I'm to the point where I can recite the criticism in my head for whatever I might have said or done before I do it. This is just a person who's property I'm on and it's a whole lot less stressful not playing the neighbor game. You can only try so hard and do so much while they don't contribute anything positive.

[@ebbyc1817]

" The effort that the narcissist puts into their false self, drains them of any ability to have empathy.. ". This is so eye opening, and makes sense. If all the energy is going way, there's no energy left to go the other way. Lying works, as long as they are enabled. If they faced consequences for every lie they told, they may not change, but they would think again before lying the next time, because they know they will lose something. But if one keeps enabling them, by being there, listening, picking up the phone, engaging, or worse still, arguing them, it will only encourage them to do more, (and more, and more). Basically if you're in a relationship with a narcissist, and you're not leaving, and you can, you're part of the problem. If they think they can get away with it with you, they will think they can get away with it with everybody else. We all learn from our mistakes, but if there are no consequences, there was technically, no mistake.

[@angelawade1445]

The sad thing is everyone is not aware of the real problem so they keep enabling them. They even overlook their lies because they are empathetic and feel they have unmet childhood needs etc. This is why they seldom suffer the consequences of their actions.

[@ebbyc1817]

@@angelawade1445 That's true. I'm guilty of that too. I was part of the problem.

[@angelawade1445]

@@ebbyc1817 well I hope you are free. It is like a prison.

[@ebbyc1817]

@@angelawade1445 mentally, will take a while. physically, is easy, you just cut them off.

[@jenstevens2998]

Even worse, often people ARE aware. The same people who enlisted me to mediate with my own abuser, then defend and prop up the same person as soon as I succeeded in getting out. They may be in for a real shock when he disengages from fighting to put me down and he turns his focus back upon them, again. That saddens me. I cared about my children's family, but they choose him OVER their own grandchildren

[@knitnkitten]

When I finally realised the narcissists in my life were lying - about everything, to themselves & subsequently to me - it was freeing. Their realities are deceitful & ephemeral - and more importantly NOT my reality. They are all trying hard to get me back into the box of pleasing them - which was crazy-making & compromised of capricious moving targets. I just look at them & say nothing. Next step is to reply with simple honesty. Mainly I keep as much silence & distance from my unbeleibably selfish, mendacious, manipulating, self aggrandizing siblings as possible. It's more complicated with my husband & parents...

[@carolovesteven]

Narcs favorite and tell tale gas light phrase: “ I never said that.”

[@privatejen3590]

This video was pure gold! The overgrown children have been pretending for many years and lack the courage to change and grow up. For our own well-being, it is better to have low engagement and low expectations with these exhausting individuals who are offended by peace and grace that we could bring to them.

[@susannakotoff7095]

no contact is only way and silence with them if u have to be around them for an event

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

The narcissists I have known seem to live in a fantasy world. They can see someone at the mall from across the walkway and make up an entire story about why they were there when they really don't know. They make guesses about things based on little to no knowledge about what people are doing. Also, I have noticed that they love to use half-truths as you say, so they have an excuse when they decide to back out of things or to make us look foolish when we keep them accountable.

[@bkpsly1]

Oh, this is bang on, Dr. Carter! Thanks for this video :) I have lived with my husband of almost 30 years like this, never understanding what was going on, what I was doing wrong, trying to "help him" learn how to behave and treat others right, etc, to no avail. Videos like this are soooo helpful for us on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse. Thanks to you, and GUS! These videos are priceless!

[@cynthiafortier2540]

Sounds like you will be helping him for another thirty years. These evil entities are not worth it. They get worse. Save yourself.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased!

[@CaliWeHo]

Why are you still with him?

[@lindabell2940]

I like being honest, I find that people will say hey at least your honest, 0 yea if i want your money, im a straight up nut, about myself,

[@lindabell2940]

Hey Gus you are a good dog,your dad is saying hey to us, yes he says you and him, will be ok,until next time, your best friend is your dad, and your a neat dog ,you are taking it easy again i see you in your house, i see your cool couch, you take it easy,Gus, take care of your dad

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

I have finally determined the stark truth behind their dishonesty is- they really and truly do not believe they are saying and doing the things they are saying and doing. That is the stark truth. Edited to say… there are actually many “stark truths” that i have personally had to come to about the narcissist’s dishonesty. Believing their own BS is just the one that is probably the starkest for them that we have to face. Other ones for me personally include… -they never really loved me -they actually know exactly what they’re doing when they hurt, confuse, or manipulate other people -they will never change These were the starkest to overcome for me personally.

[@aaronkwolfe]

I'd go a shade off that by asserting that they have fully convinced themselves that you deserve it. Therefore, they are justified in whatever they say or do.

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

@@aaronkwolfe i decided to edit my comment. You can see it. I agree with you whether you agree with me or not. I still believe it all boils down to they believe their lies because they know there is no other way around to deal with the BS. If they don’t believe themselves, who will? They know this. So they honestly (pfft said with a grain of salt) believe they are innocent… because that’s the bottom line lie they tell themselves… so they believe the lie. (edited for typos)

[@aaronkwolfe]

... and here I was, coming back to edit my own. My understanding has been that they know what they are doing, but I was going to edit by saying that perhaps I don't fully understand and that I needed to study more before opening my big mouth. You have high grace, KellyJean. I do appreciate that.

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

@@aaronkwolfe you’re very kind. Of course they know what they’re doing. The stark truth is they actually believe they’re not doing what they’re doing even though they know exactly what they’re doing. And they don’t care who it effects as long as they can get away with convincing others they didn’t know they did or said what they did… as long as they can come out “ok” with someone (anyone… they don’t care who.) It’s literally messed up. When i think about how messed up it is, i have to considered what some of them may have went through and in some of the cases i know personally, they went through some really horrendous things… so of course their lives are going to be messed up and therefore they’re going to live that out. It’s tempting to feel sorry for them. I do to an extent. However, the ones who actually “had it good” and have absolutely no understandable reason why their lives would be so messed up… say they were the golden child and simply spoiled… those are the ones that just kind of make me mad.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Hi Kelly, and you too, Aaron (two of my favorites, BTW). The stark truth I begin with is that to narcissists, facts are irrelevant. When you are an intuitive who wishes to live in a godly, decent manner, their self-absorbed mindset is baffling. Yet, there it is. In a couple of weeks I'm uploading a video about the radical acceptance of the pain created by narcissists. It is something we have to come to terms with. The way to do is is through a radical dedication to the much cleaner alternatives.

[@robinsmith4499]

Thank you for being honest, so refreshing, 🤭 I live with three covert narcissistic individuals, their words are noise to me. I handle it with dignity, respect and civility. Kindly ignore their selfish needs, and never trust them.

[@tinablok5700]

They are constantly busy making sure their lies do not crash and return like boomerangs on them! Thank you Dr. C and Gus!

[@yapkoonrex816]

Everything that you said is true. I'm glad I am out of my relationship with my ex. It was living HELL. His thinking is so twisted and I was always the cause of his misery. Interestingly enough he wants me back now as he is old and lonely but I said NO. THANK GOD that I managed to be a lot stronger to be independent.

[@louisestaats234]

Proverbs 4:16. For they cannot sleep until they do evil/mischief, and their rest is taken away from them unless they cause someone to fall."

[@Wonderwall36]

shame and envy are core emotions to them

[@susanparker9877]

My ex got a kitten from a woman he met at a garage sale. When he went inside she was doing Crack. He watched, was offered and refused some, and left. I was very concerned when he told me because of his history of addictions. I was assured he would not return,as it was so disgusting. A couple of weeks ago, a kitten was , supposedly, left in a box on his doorstep, by the Crack doing woman. The heat was intense outside and the doorstep in full sun! I was very 😡 upset by the negligence. Well it turns out there was no cat in any box. He'd gone back to get a second kitten and didn't want me knowing he'd been back to the crackhouse! The moral of the story, if it seems far fetched, and a narcissist is telling it, it ain't true!

[@warmwelkom]

They do not have an agenda (any appointment they forget was not made 😉), exept the agenda to make you feel very small and confused, because they feel small all the time. It's exhausting and confusing living with one.

[@sheilajac]

uhmmm....that they believe their own BS - or con themselves so they can lie to you with what seems like confidence or surety?

[@aliceroberts1980]

That’s why actually works because they believe it and they sound like they’re telling the truth but it’s a lie had me believe in for years

[@treelover1050]

HATE PEOPLE THAT LIE. SO. WHEN I SAW HIS LYING, I LEFT HIM FOREVER. CAN'T TRUST THEM.

[@catheyahannas3240]

You're absolutely right, they actually believe their BS, and no matter what anyone else knows to be true are the liars as far as they're concerned. I honestly started questioning my own sanity because life according to my ex husband was nothing like the reality I was living through.

[@Uberqueenbee]

They speak with the authority and sincerity that doctors use with their patients even when they're blowing smoke up their asses.

[@artglue2]

Off topic, but the orange shirt is a great color on you! My “husband” makes up stories about everything…nothing is the truth. It used to keep my head spinning but I’m privy to his ways now.

[@barbaramoss6917]

When confronting my ex with facts surrounding a situation in order to discuss it, he would become irate and tell me that it’s only my opinion of what happened lol. That would be the end of any sort of discussion. It was so frustrating.

[@suejacobs8531]

That was my entire marriage of 38 years finally getting out

[@barbaramoss6917]

@@suejacobs8531 we are in the process now of getting a divorce after 22 years. Our 18 year old son died almost 2 years ago and it was really a last straw for me. Life is too short and uncertain to be with someone who doesn’t value you and makes you feel crazy the time.

[@katen1228]

@@barbaramoss6917 , exactly, I wasted 30+ years because I either didn’t know or was in denial.

[@deborahcollins1100]

My narcissistic husband whenever I confront him he will usually tell me that he doesn’t even want to hear it! What kind of answer is that?? 😢

[@barbaramoss6917]

@@deborahcollins1100 ohh yea I’ve gotten that line also lol. Big eye rolls and then “Why do you always have to start?!” 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@danettekrolczyk8525]

The narcissist that is now my ex really had me snowed. Of course when he met he was such a gentleman but as the years went on life became horrible. We were married for 21 years. I learned he was a liar a cheater and addicted to porn. So I just am so frustrated with the fact I didn’t know what was happening. It wasn’t until I had a nervous break down and was in therapy that I had ever heard the word narcissistic. My therapist wanted to treat him. His response was “ I’m not going because she doesn’t know what she is talking about. After learning about narcissism we separated and then divorced. He left my life with a huge hole in it.

[@brianwalsh1401]

Unfortunately most of us learn the hard way and most people still do learn the hard way. I didn't learn about narcissists until 11 years after I left my ex and quite by accident. I was looking up borderline pd and saw narcissistic pd and thought now what exactly does that mean. It took me about 7 weeks of looking at this info before I had the AHA!!! moment. At least now with the internet people have the opportunity of finding out sooner if they care to look. I doubt I ever would've figured it out. Also I figured out all the rest of them I had or had had in my life too. It was quite overwhelming. I hope you are doing better and healing. I was with mine for 5 years and was shot. I can't imagine 21 years. You must be strong. My sister has been with her npd for 27 years and has attempted suicide. It doesn't look like she is going to make it. These predators are dangerous.

[@alenagoddess2400]

This sounds very familiar sorry you had to go through that. Once their source of supply dries up or gets stale they're on to someone else.

[@KittyKat8946]

I’m sorry you went through that for so long. Your story is very same as mine. Same length marriage, everything you described.

[@lindagray3915]

Wow. Reading your post was reading my life 🫂

[@roseisrose8154]

Danette, I hope you find a kinship in reading these posts, knowing you are not alone in your experiences. Your relationship sounds so similar to mine. I, too, married the sweetest gentleman. When the inconsistencies in behavior, his word and truth started happening I intentionally chose to believe him - I believe I was projecting my value system (of honesty) onto him. It became maddening. My husband projects himself as upstanding, honest, innocent, appalled by indecency. After yrs of feeling like I was going insane, I found out he was addicted to porn -spent yrs in therapy for that. No difference in behavior. Only until I found these videos have I come to find out about Covert narcissism. And to realize how impactful this is on every aspect of his behavior. Lying, I now realize, is his default mode in every little matter. I believe he’s cheated- there’s a boatload of circumstantial evidence- but I know he’ll never admit it. I’m still married. It’s difficult. But, I understand the hole in your life you feel. Spend a part of each day working on you. You are so very worth it!!

[@rockerdad2]

They are evil. They are ruthless creatures. Run and dont look back!

[@storm4515]

I used to watch my narcissistic ex manipulate judges, law enforcement, and pretty much anyone who would listen. He would lie about everything with a straight face and when caught COMPLETELY take on the victim role never taking accountability for his actions or behavior. It was always “someone else’s fault” “they made me do it” or just the poor me pity party. Also calling him out on the extreme lies that were just so obvious made him lash out in the most vicious ways. Thankfully I only lost two years of my life in that relationship but the mental and emotional trauma will never leave me.

[@MsGreyhoundmom]

I record most conversations so he can avoid denying he said it. But mostly I started recording so I recall what he said and I'm not crazy. It has been so mentally challenging for years.

[@rozdoyle8872]

'you can be distorted all you want ' how I wish someone had told me how powerful that would have been many years ago and thus saved all the mud wrestling with Narcs, Thank you Dr Carter.

[@rachelcarmina3958]

My ex would routinely lie about anything to make herself look good or to be the centre of attention. If I ever said anything about, even if only in private to her, she would always retaliate or rage at me. Of course if I ever so much as exaggerated anything she would be on my case. While we were together, it was a surreal life where reality took second place to what she "believed".

[@mightymouse1005]

It's like make believe. Funny, my narc will lie to make me look bad but not good. He'll lie to make himself look good but not bad. . They DO know what they do. I will ask him "remember when you said this lie about me? " he admits it...then gets mad I caught him 🤣 😂 🤪 it's like living in a never ending soap opera in which you're always the villain and they're the victim. Some alternate universe

[@SandraMuller-vs8ck]

When dealing with individuals who are supposed to demonstrate a very high standard of trustworthiness through their chosen profession, but unfortunately remains focused in the realm of personal gain from dishonesty should be prohibited from practicing in these areas where trust and openness plays a very significant part in humanity. These individuals who are seeking advice for various reasons should never be exposed to such cruelty. This is a pity that they are unable to accept responsibility for their behavior and sectioned into narcissistic tendencies. This has definitely given me insight into this whole scenario of events. Thank you Dr C for your ongoing support. God bless. ❤

[@deborahbarchard5957]

This reminds me of being in school struggling with algebra until I reached my "aha" moment. I wish I'd caught on to the mysteries of being married to a narcissist about thirty years ago.

[@fredhubbard7210]

Facts are: whatever the narcissist damn well says they are.

[@ivanvoykinski2910]

You are completely right. I m living with one for more than 35 years. I just put the dots together It is painful. I don’t know what to do.

[@mefrench42]

I understand. 30 years And my eyes are finally open. Kids sat, get out, but I don't know how!

[@ejnix7874]

Leave the painful place, somehow

[@cherrybacon3319]

They think the world owes them, when in fact they owe victims a he'll of a lot more. 🍒

[@1sthawkfeathers547]

I am continuing to have a problem with my friend/tenant on my property. We have been like family for nearly 55 years. Now he has treated my property like a dump and will not leave. He threatened blood shed ! And called me crazy, hallucinating; all types of untruthful things. Just yesterday he texted "keep pushing this and see where you end up". Another harmless threat ? I have to think that he is only growling in hopes that I will be intimidated. I have been on my own for 26 years and was brought up to be strong and not fearful. He is getting disconnected from reality, is my only concern.

[@gardenjoy5223]

Spot on, as usual. With more and more people behaving in this way, it's perilous to be without an insurance to cover most legal costs. For their love for lies and deceit goes so deep, that they will persecute you even legally, for speaking the truth. Most despicable beings on the planet!

[@tahiyamarome]

Oh they will exploit every legal avenue as a tool to punish people. They'll perjure themselves to get restraining orders on people they owe money. They have no ethics whatsoever.

[@gardenjoy5223]

@@tahiyamarome They got to you too, didn't they. So sorry :(

[@tahiyamarome]

@@gardenjoy5223 actually i started helping people my mother targeted by alerting them to her tactics but i watched her do it to all kinds of people as a kid. No one in our family will speak to her she's screwed them over so badly. I am still trying to clean up the toxicity she spilled all over my life and i've been at it for 30+years. I've made good progress though since i went nc 14 years ago. They use the lives of other people as personal toilets.

[@gardenjoy5223]

@@tahiyamarome Good for you, for trying to help others out of this too. 'personal toilets' tragic, but funny.

[@Kay-lk2wy]

You’ve captured my experience so accurately. This video moved me to tears, never have I ever felt so validated. Thank you, doc…. and Gus. 😊

[@audreydakin8130]

I remember pleading a case with facts to my old boss and he started yelling at me that 11 times he told me this or that. It was so strange. I had no idea what he was talking about. Many times I had no idea what he was talking about. Sttrraaannge guy. I don’t know how else to describe it.

[@warmwelkom]

I know exactly what you mean. That is gaslighting, they do that for the surroundings, they want people around to think that you are so very stupid. It's gaslighting with lies, very confusing.

[@audreydakin8130]

@@warmwelkom hmm…. That’s interesting. I literally remembering him coming to my office and telling me something about a tV in our conference I used in client meetings to show their information. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about and then all of a sudden he was watching baseball on it his office. He was moving the TV and somehow trying to sell me on how that would help me, I guess?? LMAO. Like is this ridiculous or what!! He’s still there. I’m not!

[@rdplanner8274]

This video is spot on!! My MIL is such a liar, and when I got wind she has said something completely false about me to my husbands brother, I confronted her on it. She did not like that! I stood my ground and called her a liar! That was 6 years ago before I knew anything about narcissistic people! I slowly set up more and more boundaries with her as she showed me she was not trustworthy. Well, 6 years later she has groomed my husbands siblings to isolate us- nobody speaks to us. It’s like a switch flicked and all contact stopped. Very confusing when all seemed well …. These videos help me understand what is really going on and reminds me to continue to be no contact and see the blessing in his family not communicating with us. They are showing us who they are too. Life is too short. It’s nice knowing that we can walk away and not feel we have lost anything - they seemed to just turn on us, so they are definitely not family or friends

[@sirtedricwalker2979]

When u confront a narc...the narc says "Let the Smear Campaign Begin"....but you have "Addition (to the quality of life) by Subtracting them"

[@brianwalsh1401]

@@sirtedricwalker2979 Exactly. I had no idea I was dealing with a narcissist or what that even was and I confronted one at work. Then the smear campaign began which was I was getting divorced because I was beating my wife. When I confronted her about that then she went to the principal and told her I grabbed her and was yelling in her face. I was in complete disbelief someone could lie like this. Then I had to have an investigation on me. Very stressful. The only reason I didn't lose my job was no evidence and that the guy who had the job before me was fired because she accused him of se$ual harassment. These "people" are absolute poison. Like you said if you know what you're dealing with it's best to just stay away. The problem is most people still don't know what their dealing with.

[@lorikurasz9299]

My ex-boyfriend admitted that his dad has always helpped get him out of trouble. The one before him admitted that he was jealous of how easily I can make friends. My reply was... " because I'm not an a-hole."

[@kathleenreardon8943]

Thank you again Dr. Carter. Your kind demeanor and the content of your videos always makes my day better. Thanks so much.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased. Thank you, Kathleen.

[@jfranco3842]

If you catch them off guard they tell you the truth.ive learned.🤔💡🔑

[@sandracaezza7234]

I said during an argument , after years of addiction recovery, from now on I’m going to call you on any lie. Looking back (he’s gone now since 1-1-23) that really was the beginning of the end. Your right Dr C , their self reflection is non existent.

[@alisajamieson4065]

I feel like being active often on social media just provides them (narcs) access to your energy without even having to interact with you. Blocking and deleting is so essential.

[@saratemp790]

Dishonesty is at the root of all evil. Like money.

[@smustipher]

Agreed on the dishonesty part. It's the LOVE of money that is the root of evil, not the money iself. Also note that many dishonest people usually have shady dealings with money/ will lie and cheat to get it because that have an excessive greed for it.

[@user-qv9nw1dq2f]

You can not reason with unreasonable and deceitful people. Thank you dr Carter 😊 God bless you❤

[@annewalker3422]

I've had two incidents this week with a "friend" like this. I said to her about can't we clear this up and her instant reply was I don't want to have this conversation! She takes over my other friends and can be nice, charming as anything in a split second,while I'm left feeling confused, frustrated and so angry. It's like she's a playground bully. She can dish it but can't take it. The latest incident happened yesterday so I have an emotional hangover today. This video is brilliant. Thank you Dr Carter. You have a very calming, soothing voice.

[@pamb2656]

i have been there so many times w/a sister. every time she wanted to talk about a problem she was having i would try to help her and next thing i know she is sending me a hate filled letter. things like this happened so many times. i couldn't understand how she could twist things around so much. many times i would apologize for something i knew i didn't do just to calm her down. she came between relationships with people, some even parents and their children. she is 10 years younger and i didn't really remember but a younger brother told me she did this even as a child with her friends. she would only play with one at a time and turn them against the others. WOW, i stayed with her for so long because she was alone and i felt bad for her. it took her going after my sweet and big hearted daughter for me to i have finally remove her from my life and i don't feel bad about it either. there is no good to come from these kind of relations. they drag you into the dark hole they live in.

[@considerthelilies91]

FIND A NEW FRIEND

[@chillout7206]

I hope for your own sake you got her out of your life, no one should put up with that bs

[@susanv1535]

I actually laughed out loud at all the truth in this video. I saw all that you described. Upon reflection ( after laughing … Thank God I can laugh about it today) it is really sad they live in such a tiny, sad, world. They miss out on so much. I prefer to be just me, and stay away.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Keep learning, Susan!

[@alyshamacphee9419]

My narcissist I was recently in a relationship with for two years. It was off and on, and the “I’ve got people” smear campaigning and untruths about me were used relentlessly whenever I tried to establish boundaries, space or breakup. We worked together and it ruined my work like for me. I left my job which I loved for five years recently, and moved away in order to get real distance from flying monkeys, triggers, possibility of getting back together and start over. I’m now regretting it somewhat as I feel like I’m over it, and miss my job immensely. Reminding myself to trust that at the time I knew what was best, and that this type of abuse was SUCH big deal and warranted the huge life change I made. Wanted to share my story with people who might understand

[@pamrjohnson2493]

They agree with you and admit fault to you on Monday, then on Tuesday, they deny that conversation ever happened. When Ive called the narc out, they either agree (but it's not real), or become defensive and attempt to gaslight and attempt to make things my issue. Such a treat!

[@maryswobodapishney7559]

The narcissists and the malignant narcissists lie and even brag about how far they could take their lies. These are dangerous, evil people who are wolves that actually get joy by deceiving and hurting people. If that isn't evil it sure isn't a mistake: it is purposeful and often aimed at hurting those they are jealous of. When you realize you are suffering with one of these predators, go contact and breathe the fresh air! I have!

[@Michyhauser]

Would like to hear more about a BOSS that is a narcissists. My Boss is a women owned small business owner and she is a piece of work! These videos help me.

[@Voirreydirector]

Yup. Never could pin down anything. Being eidetic made me very difficult and dangerous for them. The biggest thing they beat into me is never tell the truth to a teacher or doctor. In the eighties one of them went to college, did great until a psychology professor put the desks in a circle and demanded each student learn to communicate in such a circle. They took an Fail grade instead. No way would they reveal a single thing. Bizarre.

[@CaliWeHo]

Wow. 🤯

[@sideswiped6874]

the Golden Boy. lies and lies and lies. and when he is done, he lies more the next day. and the day after. they never stop laying!

[@Linda_R.]

YES! I finally managed to come to the overall conclusion that "We lied to ourselves and expected the truth from each other!" Yes, I am also taking responsibility for having ignorance and arrogance ( but that is not blame, it is ownership ) in coming into the relationship with my narc. There were many Red Flags, on both our parts, that we each put on ignore within ourselves - me because I seriously fell in love with him and, of course, him because I was a prime Supplier due to the condition I was in at the time from the effects of the trauma in my past, on top of being undiagnosed Bipolar, a people-pleaser, etc. And, friends, PLEASE! Heed those Red Flags if you can at all recognize them from the weird sensation you get in your gut, or nagging in the back of your mind, that something just wasn't quite right with that conversation. I can not recall the trait that I called him out on very early after we met, but it went something like, "Well, I notice that you say this, sometimes, and then the exact opposite at other times." "No, I don't." "Yeah. Ya do." "Uh, NO I DON'T!" And, I then say within myself, "Oh, ok - Oh Well, then I must not have that right...." What I really needed to have said, and done, is say something like, "Uh, really?! OK, then, BYE!!!!!" and walked away quickly and far! But, I could not, unfortunately, until, by the Grace of God, I was prepared and readied by being able to quit smoking when the pandemic dried up my Reserve supply in late June 2020. When the circumstances came together after that, middle of May 2022, and I called my one loving sister and told her he was kicking me out, yet again, she offered to come get me. I had to refuse her offers in the ;past because of the smoking, but this time, I just knew it WAS time to say Oh Would You?! I have never felt safer, more secure, supported, loved, cared for, appreciated and welcomed on genuine, authentic emotions of concern than in this past year and a half. And I am oh so grateful that she still had the desire to have a relationship with me even after all my horrible dysfunctional behaviour that I am ashamed of to this day, but that she has forgiven me of. I'm 67 years old and, as some seniors say, I'm just learning now how to live a decent life and have a rewarding lifestyle. And thanks to you Dr. C. and your approach and presentation of the facts of the effects of Narcissism and how we can know we are healing from them, I am proud to be the survivor and ever progressing in my unique way. For an example, I was on the phone with him last week (it's OK! I know what I am doing....!) and it was so fantastic to have these words come out so naturally and calmly: "If you use that tone of voice with me again, I WILL hang up on you." Oh My what control I felt stating MY preferences to HIM for a change! Are you curious as to the outcome? HE didn't like that and..... hung up on me instead. I chuckled my way through the rest of the day... If nothing else, poor Narc's are very good for a laugh in the times when they are confronted with your powerful cohesive inner strength that they crave and just cannot achieve for themselves and cannot be informed as to how to accomplish that.

[@fionamaw4139]

This is my father - makes up his own truth then believes his lies.

[@OSTARAEB4]

One Female Narc I’ve known since mid-nineties called me in the hospital at 10:10pm and got through saying she was my sister. I don’t have a sister! I’m older and respect a certain cut off call time at night. She also in the middle of a conversation started screaming « once a liar, always a liar » when we were discussing my new selection of kitchen cabinets. I was never involved with this woman in a romantic fashion but foolishly helped her out financially. I was scammed as of course she’s gone AWOL but I always had a bad feeling about this woman and I was right. Like Dr. C says about following your gut instinct, I was played and don’t know how she looks at herself. She was a fraud and a total gold digger and expressed she was resentful her elderly parents haven’t helped her out financially. The way she said once a liar, always a liar as if she was so proud of herself. She really dropped her mask! It’s a shame some people are so ugly and I was duped. It‘s sad whenever you do someone a favor it costs you which is why I don’t extend myself any longer and am very mistrusting of everyone.

[@rfoley402]

Dr C, you hit the nail on the head with this one. I was literally nodding the whole time you were talking. You described two narc family members to the "t". They are not trustworthy in any sense of the word. It's sad really. But the gig is up. I see them for who they are. Thanks for your dedication and care for us.

[@brianlane9534]

Trustworthy is the word. After a period of time I began to distrust anything she said. It was 50/50 whether she was just making things up or telling the truth.

[@michelepascoe6068]

I once asked my mother why she wasn't correcting a false account she'd written of someone and she shrugged and said, "It's not important." It was important to me, but that didn't count.

[@robinbyrd4430]

So true as I found out. Wow! Gaslighting at its best. As one said to me, when I said that’s not what happened. They said “ I like my story better”. I responded with “ I’m sure you do” . Always wanting to be in control is their motto. So glad for your videos. Helped me so much. ☺️🌺👍🏾💯

[@user-jh4kx4cl6n]

I have been told by a narc that lying is not a sin so it's ok because the 10 commandments say "Do Not Bare False witness To Thy Neighbor.". Ugh...that one left me speechless.

[@user-yj7xw8on2t]

Mine said lying is always easier as long as he doesn't get caught.

[@lifetimeactor6789]

It's so twisted. They think their distortions are the truth. There's just no way to get them to see that they'd be happier if they got some help. They are so stuck in their traumatized, three-year-old minds. All I wanted was for my mom to experience true happiness, but all that did was make me the enemy who needed to be put back in his place. How can they be so stuck?

[@conniedean6842]

My ex narcissist has never said " yes I've told little lies before and it was wrong" or "ok I admit it, I did lie and I'm sorry" he does what you said ....changes the truth when he feels like it and says. "I never said that!" ..when he just said it a day ago

[@hispanicservices9225]

Oh my! the dishonesty and the facts manipulation… why I didn’t heard this 4 years ago 😢

[@marciathomas1625]

I found the narcissist to be the most dishonest person I have ever met in my life. He was totally immature as well as a big fat liar that lived in his delusional fantasyland of alternate reality. It made my head spin. For the life of me, I could not figure out his problem until I ran across all of these utube videos about narcissism. Now it all makes sense. The narcissist is a deeply troubled individual. Thank goodness I woke up and eased on down the road from that person. It saved my very sanity.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

When we talk about the narcissist constructing a False Self, keep in mind the definition of false.

[@susangeorge5399]

We were Married 17rs. He thought my middle name was Denise. It's Diane. Ugh! So glad I'm out!❤

[@moriahogilvie6164]

This is video hit the nail on the head. It’s part of what makes their gaslighting so effective. There are no limits to the dishonesty!