Talking with a Mortician

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thanks everyone for your wonderful comments! Here's a follow-up message from Sabine: "Thanks everyone for the encouraging comments! On the subject of organ donation, as I said in the video, it’s too large a topic to be covered adequately in a few minutes, for one thing every country and state has different requirements for consent, and we have communities in a lot of different places. It’s absolutely true that many people have been given a longer life or improved quality of life due to this gift made by others, and I absolutely respect those who choose to make that gift. My comments should be taken with the understanding that in our communities a home death and funeral are the norm. Organ donation would be next to impossible in this context. -Sabine"

[@jonshaffer1652]

I'm a funeral director in Virginia and I have always been curious about how your community handled death, I have my answer now. Great video, I'd really like to visit someday.

[@swampophelia2098]

I’m a nurse and in the last five years or so I have worked in palliative care, it’s absolutely true that having families involved in the care of their loved one where ever possible is the best way to go forward. That includes caring for the person post mortem as well, even if it’s just them picking out what they want their loved one to wear in their casket/coffin, acceptance is the first step in the healing process. Great video Laura thanks for making it. Best wishes from the U.K.

[@swampophelia2098]

Can I just add though that organ donation and leaving ones body to science are two very different things, organ donation is a much needed and very wonderful thing, Sabine sounds like she isn’t in favour of it and spoke of it in quite negative terms, it saves lives and is a vital service.

[@jacksoldano5752]

Laura, perhaps it is just my age but this was one of the most insightful, respective interview thou has done. Thank you to you and Sabine who opened herself to us all.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thank you!

[@mmmmlllljohn]

Your community certainly got the right person for this sacred position. I think would Sabine probably struggled with her decision to become the Funeral Director, and surely prayed about it ... so it is “interesting” that she met her husband after making her decision to serve her community in this way. Thank you both for sharing your lives with us. ❤️🇨🇦

[@suzannepeck5610]

Sabine: Bless you and your husband for the wonderful, generous, and sensitive life’s work that you both do, and the enormous sensitivity and caring with which you both do it.

[@bmwood0827]

I just finished watching this for the second time and I’m so moved. Thank you Laura and Sabine. I think I’ve been to more funerals and wakes in this past year than ever in my life - all 59 years of it. What you describe is what I would want - truly showing the love of Christ. When my parents died, there was such an impersonal nature to the process. Praise God you are there for the families, Sabine, and money is not the top priority! God bless you both!

[@lifeandluggage]

Fantastic interview and thank you to you both!

[@AnneloesF]

That was a beautiful conversation, thank you!

[@simes653]

Thank you, Sabine and Laura. I was touched.

[@carolinemikkelsen8516]

I really appreciate the family involvement in the process. Thank you Sabine :-)

[@PicklesFiona]

This was very reassuring and comforting. Thank you Sabine and Laura!

[@karenchristenson4004]

This was a wonderful interview, very thoughtful and enlightening.

[@eirika2001]

This was a very interesting video to watch- thank you for addressing this. Your community’s mindset and ethos continues to impress me.

[@roxannequessy815]

I've never clicked on a video faster! I also work in the funeral industry and watch your videos. I was actually quite curious about this so I am pleasantly surprised!

[@elofamily7241]

SUPERBLY interesting - I love this and wouldn't have thought to ask many of these things!! Thank you for sharing, Sabine and Laura!

[@boretasingleton2830]

Thank you to Sabine and Laura for a prayerful insight into a ministry that is slways needed.

[@safehaven2763]

Thank you to both of you. This was very informative and something I've never thought about before. I can definitely see how being involved in the preparation of the body would be very healing and a beautiful way to show love and respect to loved ones. I imagine it would be very peaceful.

[@CharCanuck14]

This was such an interesting video Laura. Thank you to both you and Sabine for enlightening us about Bruderhof death and burials. It really brings to light about how detached society outside of your community is when it come to death. I see your rituals as helping so much more with the grieving process.

[@Miss.sassycassy]

I loved hearing this interview it was so beautiful to hear how you process death and loss.

[@valoriehedrick4329]

Thank you for doing this interview, so very interesting. How fortunate for your community that you have someone like Sabine. I’m not religious now, though I grew up in the Baptist church, but I understand the appeal of your lifestyle and how your needs are met. This interview highlights one of those benefits - being cared for lovingly from birth to the grave.

[@planecrazyish]

So much respect and admiration for the work these people do. Such an interesting interview.

[@Sidian]

This is definitely one of the best videos you've ever done Laura, great job. I'd love more like this, discussing serious issues and interviewing people with different roles at the Bruderhof and paths that got them there, etc.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Great idea! I'm hoping to do more😊

[@lauriemaddux9597]

I was so touch by Sabines spirit. Thank you for sharing you heart with us.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

You are so welcome

[@knittingdoula]

In my Orthodox Jewish community, we have a team of men and women (separate teams for each) called the Chevra Kadisha, or burial society. Each team tends to those in the Jewish community who have died by preparing their bodies for the funeral with washing, clothing them in shrouds, and placing them in the casket. It is a loving, modest, and respectful process. Additionally, Jewish law dictates that bodies only be buried in very plain, pine caskets. It is comforting knowing that someday, please God, I will be cared for in my death by women in my community. I have served both on the Chevra Kadisha and as a birth doula for women and their families, and the processes are really similar. It's such an honor to serve those in both life and death.

[@IckyTzatziki]

This video was very touching and it was lovely to 'meet' Sabine. Modern funerals (outside the Bruderhof) are expensive and lack a deeper involvement with the family which Bruderhof funerals have at their centre. Some years ago I stayed at the Darvell Bruderhof in England and the burial ground there, amongst other things, left a lasting impression of peace and love on me. So many people seem afraid of the dead and dont want to see them, touch them or be with them. We have lost touch with the more natural, personal and loving connection to death which you retain in the Bruderhof. Thanks for making this video and sharing with us how you 'do death' in a way which is meaningful and personal and gives love and grief their expression in the process.

[@jacquelineabbas9183]

Thank you sabeen This was such a moving interview I lost my wonderful father this year it brought me to tears 🙏

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

So sorry to hear that

[@juliejacobs9424]

That was a very interesting and informative interview. It's amazing that you found out that Sabine was looking after your grandparent. Thank you ♥️

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yes it was!

[@jacquieful]

Interesting interview. Thank you Laura and Sabine. I wish your practices were available here. I was just talking to my friend who lost his sister last week. I think the outrageous cost of funerals is definitely a factor in people choosing cremation.

[@BrandeArno]

I was born in Schenectady and lived there until 1995. It is part of the tri-city of Schenectady, Alany and Troy, NY. Thank you for sharing your traditions.

[@elisaharp]

This initerview has thaught me so much. Thank you

[@bjgodin]

Thank you Sabine I will definitely question the choices I make with my family. I will look deeper at the choices I had thought I would make.

[@bekah728]

Thank you for this.

[@chxrl5067]

I always really enjoy your videos, even as someone who isn't religious, I find your life fascinating and always look forward to uploads.

[@elizabethfish5593]

My 28 year old sister died unexpectedly in July and was an organ donor. She was able to bless 5 different people with her live organ donation. That being said, I unregistered myself as an organ donor after this experience because it was incredibly traumatic and painful to go through on top of already losing my sister and best friend.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Wow that is so hard to hear. I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing and wish you peace.

[@cathycalrow2729]

Sorry to hear about your experience. The UK are going over to people having to opt out of organ donation rather than opting in, by law.

[@samanthatheminimalist]

So sorry for your loss. Imagine the trauma those 5 families have been spared because of her gift.

[@lisatowan4536]

Thanks for the video. I work in the funeral industry, so I definitely found this interesting.

[@LoraleiMarr]

I'm a funeral director!

[@lorigrube1292]

It seems odd to say that I “enjoyed” this video but I did. So informative and enlightening... Thank you.

[@christophertucker8031]

Wow Sabine is beautiful inside and out. Being a funeral director is a vocation for her family.

[@SarahsShtuff]

Very interesting, thank you both!

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thank you too!

[@hondafreedom9329]

Such a good and touching video.

[@kathleenhansenownerofkamah9064]

I watch every episode of your channel, and am blessed by them and you. As my husband and I grow a little older and our children’s children look at marriage and building families, I wish we had found a community like yours. Keep sharing your love with us please.

[@gregbourn6915]

This was a compassionate and insightful interview. I continue to be taken by the Bruderhof and their way of life. I look forward to a visit. I had the opportunity to participate in a Tibetan Sky Burial when a Buddhist friend of mine passed away. The body was laid out in the forest for several days. People were encouraged to sit with the body and contemplate their own death and the impermanence of all things. After several days, the pine branches the body was laying on were set ablaze. I sat with the body from 5pm until 5am. Witnessing the body being “decomposed” by birds and other animals was, as odd as it may sound, an awakening experience. It created in me a sense of detachment from my own body and a growing closer to God. Through the late night hours it was just me, the forest, the animals and the body. There was a sense of deep calm as the breeze made its way through the forest. Everything, even death, seemed in its place and part of Gods plan. It’s something I’ll never forget. Thank you both.

[@MikeWilliams-yp9kl]

"My eldest is a lemon ,my youngest is an orange and the twins are a pear ". Very good

[@suemoravec422]

Green refers to no embalming, and bio-degradable casket, or organic shroud.

[@kalakakku7749]

Thank you! This answered a lot of my questions. I feel like the Bruderhof has a healthy relationship to death.

[@swampophelia2098]

It’s interesting what you say about organ donation, here in the uk people can decide what bits of themselves to donate and also we don’t have open casket funerals so many families don’t see their loved one again after they have died.

[@aspenenglish4976]

It’s a choice in the USA. My mother did not have an open casket and neither did one of my grandmothers. I think there’s actually a place when you sign up for organ donation that maybe you just want your heart donated or your eyes. That was my understanding many years ago. I’ll have to look into it again. I agree with the closed casket practice. I think it’s too difficult to look at bones and flesh when there’s no soul there.

[@kimandersen3423]

I thought this was an excellent and valuable video

[@blethersy9206]

It was interesting to watch the video and hear about the personal and caring way in which each family is supported when they lose a loved one. However, I have to disagree with what Sabine said about organ donation. I’m an organ recipient and I personally know many relatives of organ donors, and all of them have taken great comfort from their loved one having donated their organs. Also I’ve never heard of a family who haven’t felt fully informed about exactly what organs their loved one would be donating. Relatives have the right to refuse permission for their loved one to donate all or some of the organs which would be suitable for transplant. It saddens me that this video gives the impression of organ donation being such a negative experience for everyone involved, as this isn’t what research, or my personal experience would indicate.

[@silentfades]

you can specify in organ donation ie heart only or specifically eyes,

[@jackjohnhameld6401]

Before my conversion I was so afraid of death that I only attended the funerals of immediate family members. Only faith in Jesus Christ, true God and true man, can free us from fear of the king of terrors.

[@chazchillings3019]

Pretty smart comments on cremation.

[@jennifersanchez4245]

❤🙏

[@swampophelia2098]

Can I ask why are other people asked to look after the older members when they have their own family members on other bruderhof communities.

[@denisejones1863]

It take many months to get a body back from organ donation. Also you are not allowed a peaceful death, you are kept on live support awaiting the harvest. I understand it is a needed process, yet it must not be done lightly. All bodies should be cremated after and only the remains returned to family, in the meantime they can hold a memorial service.

[@sue1263]

I’m not sure what country you live in but in the United States does not take months to get my body back from organ donation now perhaps if you’re trying to donate her body to science I don’t know that you’ll never get it back then but when they take organs for donation you get the body back right away I know this because I have Family members who died who donated their organs. The thing about organ donation is that for most parts you have to die in the hospital or on a respirator most body parts do not survive so if you died in the middle of the night of a heart attack and you weren’t found till morning your organs would not be viable for donation maybe skin or I corneas but not much. People who are organ donors usually are brain dead before the rest of their body gives out or they’re kept alive by artificial means and tell those organs can be harvested. But you get the body back right away in the United States

[@LoraleiMarr]

As a funeral director myself (United States) the body is released immediately after the organ donation/harvest. A family can also decide what organs are donated and which are not. Perhaps you are thinking what happens if the entire body is donated to medical science. In many places, only certain bodies are admitted into the programs. Bodies are cremated after the body has served its purposes and then the cremated remains are returned to the family or interred with others based on the choice of the family.

[@chefevilee9566]

Well one wonderful thing about her job as a funeral director at the Bruderhof would be that most everybody was saved. I think it would be really hard for me looking at every person. Wondering if they were saved or not? It would wear me down. Also I was an organ donor and I change that to not be an organ donor. I do not live in a nice town at all. And I wouldn’t put it past them to let people die to get the organs. Really I wouldn’t put it past them????

[@paulbryce492]

Good morning Laura, I would love to hear a discussion on the Bruderhof position on war vs police applying the law. I always hear the pacifism aspect from many anabaptist groups (here in Canada the Mennonites have legal exemption from military service) but given that a righteous war is just an extension of applying the law of God how do the Bruderhof view this distinction? I hope I am conveying my meaning. If you allow for police to apply the law against citizens what is the difference when soldiers apply that law in defence of its citizens? (I am referring to a righteous war which would be an extension of applying the law of the land) Example: If a citizen murders someone and under Gods Law is subject to death then when a conquering army seeks to kill the same citizen is not the soldiers duty an extension of the same Law as he protects the weak? Love in Christ, Paul Bryce

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

This is a great question I'd love to talk about in a future video. Thanks!

[@Corinthians--ek4kt]

Binge watching Laura's channel

[@GuyGuinivereOfficial]

interesting

[@churchofthepresentation7966]

Do you embalm those who have died?

[@soniariley8821]

Do you cremate if someone wants it

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Hasn't come up

[@swampophelia2098]

Can I ask Laura why Sabine and her husband would have cared for your grand father rather than your parents caring for him ? ..

[@denisejones1863]

It sounds like he may have been in a different community.

[@swampophelia2098]

@@denisejones1863 yes I understand that but then why not move to the community he was in or move him nearer to his family

[@mailill]

@@swampophelia2098 It could be because community interests take precedence over family? I hope I am wrong, though ...

[@N4T93]

If you're all one family and your biological relatives are serving their communities elsewhere it's likely easier for your nearby church family to take care of you, it seems like a normal thing for them.

[@mailill]

@@N4T93 So biological family bonds and shared history are not so important, is that what you are saying? What about grown up children or parents who are NOT members of the community and perhaps live many hours away - what if they need help and support in their life for some reason? Will they be left on their own because "church family" comes first?

[@lilafeldman8630]

It's Dr. Kat of the Bruderhofs!

[@Noone-rt6pw]

I need a cave, where a shelf is carved out to lay my body like Abraham did as well as Jesus, then if I decay, after about a year, gather bones and put in a soapstone ossuary, a box for remains. Deborah in old Testament was buried beneath a tree. Which, think of a place where a person passes away, plant a long living fruit or nut tree, over time, it'd be pleasant place to visit even. Have papers noting position of person and tree planted atop of them, where it'd be much more pleasant, than a regular cemetery. It would not require maintenance anyway. Which redwood would be a long living tree. Olive trees are long living. Wild cherry might be long lasting. But, you could bet opportunist would see dollar signs when trees are full grown. Then Indians had mounds which might be facilitated. Look at the Catacombs in Europe. But, I might be one of the immortals, which if they're still with us, they definitely wouldn't let others know. Thered be others wanting to study them, test them, etc. Which Eastern Orthodox address death more, where if Orthodox had a community like Bruderhoff, people would naturally be closer and more interested in proper regard for laying a person to rest. As it's traditional to have regard for the body. Consider King Saul, Israelites went for his body, I think burned the flesh probably because it was decaying, but gathered his bones to return to Israel. Where just like tucking a child into bed, laying a person's body to rest I suspect is very similiar. Just think, come the resurrection, wouldn't it be preferable to be able to simply rise up and walk?

[@julietchristman1389]

I don't think it will matter much how we were buried. I'm sure Christ can gather our heavenly bodies.. to meet with Him

[@Noone-rt6pw]

@@julietchristman1389 Well, I think the winds blew the dirt away from the graves and people spoke of the dead walking when Jesus went to the cross. God can do anything he so chooses. But why complicate things? It'd be nice to be buried with others that are of good nature and conscience too. Where if any spirit remains as some have stories of, I'd like to be with others I enjoy 😂. You?

[@Noone-rt6pw]

Look up Sgt.Roy Bernavidez. He was still alive when they wrote him off as dead. There's plenty who have been called dead and weren't. There's Lazareth Syndrome, Epilepsy and other things.