What about marriage?

Quite a few people have asked me what I think about marriage, divorce, LGBTQ issues, and so forth. Chris and I have been married for four years so we’re still pretty new at it, but we have the example of a lot of couples around us who have been faithfully married for decades. So that’s important and that’s the model of marriage we aspire to. But it’s also very important to me that every person - married, single, or whatever station in life - is treated with dignity, respect, and compassion. At the same time, Jesus' words to us on sex and sexuality, like many of his teachings, require us to renounce things that our human nature often clamors for - things like material possessions, wealth, and fame. That includes sex outside of marriage. When we’re able to give these those things up, no matter how hard that may be, then we come closer to Christ.
If you’d like to read a more complete statement of the Bruderhof’s beliefs on marriage, see www.bruderhof.com/en/our-fait....
*****
About Me
I'm a young mom living in an intentional community called the Bruderhof, and vlogging about what that's like.
If you want to know more, subscribe and ring the bell so you don't miss any new videos:
→ / @laurafromthebruderhof
I used to vlog on the Bruderhof channel. See all my old videos in this playlist:
→ • Meet My Mom - Laura fr...
*****
What is the Bruderhof?
The Bruderhof is an intentional Christian community of people living in radical discipleship in the spirit of the first church in Jerusalem. We gladly renounce private property and share everything in common. Our vocation is a life of service to God, each other, and you. Learn more at the Bruderhof KZbin channel: ► kzbin.info...
More info is at:
► Website: www.bruderhof.com
► Instagram: www.bruderhof.com/instagram
► Twitter: www.bruderhof.com/twitter
► Facebook: www.bruderhof.com/facebook

[@elizabethwittig3930]

Love hearing little man in the background, what a little sweetie.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

He's the best!

[@tamainda5647]

How do you guys deal with domestic abuse if divorce isn’t prohibited?

[@sofiwester6193]

Like she said in the video, many couples separate without getting a divorce. They’re still married just not living together

[@justtechforlife]

@@sofiwester6193 So, does that mean that they cannot marry someone else?

[@truckerdaddy-akajohninqueb4793]

@@sofiwester6193 can they not have a new partner?

[@tamainda5647]

Sofi Wester Marriage offers certain rights to the individuals especially if there are children involved. Even if the parties are separated, there is no legal standing for the victim to keep the children away from the abuser. Domestic abuse doesn’t just end between spouses, that sort of rage can easily turn to child abuse. Divorce doesn’t just exist to allow new relationships. If divorce is prohibited, the only moral action is to kick out these abusive members from the Bruderhof.

[@mrs.garcia6978]

Looking on their FAQs for the community, if divorced and the other person is still alive you cannot remarry. The abuse question is self explanatory if you read their FAQs, abuse isn't allow, if you refuse to stop you cannot stay. Custody is worked out in the secular courts obv

[@truckerdaddy-akajohninqueb4793]

Don't be afraid or excuse yourself for picking up your child. I discovered what the word love meant the first time I held my daughter in my arms 💕👍

[@suzannepeck5610]

Congratulations on 15,000 subscribers. It’s richly deserved because of the richness of your content, the sensible ness of your observations, and the sweetness and delight of your wonderful sons.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thanks Suzanne!

[@suebillingham8181]

Thank you for your words of wisdom. A good marriage takes a lot of work & commitment! I have been blessed with Christian parents, in- laws & many other good examples of marriage around me in my church.

[@staceyjensen4071]

Well said! What a blessing to have been raised in this Godly environment. I can see the wonderful effect it has when ever I watch you and the other members of the Bruderhof. God Bless you all.

[@joetrester3139]

Laura, thank you for this video. I am divorced and I appreciate your position on the sanctity of marriage. I also appreciate your mercy and compassion. I wish more people showed such Christ-like characteristics...

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thanks Joe! All the best.

[@ashlieleavelle]

I appreciate your boldness. I am married to a Pastor, and too many couples divorce when things get difficult. Marriage is for life.

[@kuti8233]

In polish lutheran church half of bishops are divorced! Some regular pastors are also divorced, plus some have families but are gay and practice gay sex. Sad but true.

[@lea2767]

@@kuti8233 there’s nothing sad about people living out their desires and being happy with who they love - no matter their gender.

[@dawnm5834]

So sweet to hear little baby noises in the background. He’s absolutely precious.

[@user-lx7ul5ft7y]

I really appreciate all your videos Laura. They give one a deeper understanding of the Bruderhof. I find the Bruderhof ways perfectly acceptable. Your son is very sweet. Lots of love and blessings to you and all the folk living at your nice Bruderhof.

[@harrieth7003]

I've recenelt discovered your channel and am binge watching your videos!! Love them! You seem so genuine. I'd love to hear from some of the other types of members you mention - single parents, ex-atheists etc - have some guests on your show :D

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yes, I'm planning to do this!

[@roisinodowd4722]

Thank you, Laura, for talking about marriage. Although I disagree with your beliefs about this, I respect you being open about what your community believes and resonate with your stance of not judging others. Wishing you and your family health and happiness.

[@DollyJohanne]

You explain this so well 💕 We are all sinners and one sin are not “better” or “worse”. We should love the sinner, but not the sin, that simple, but also so hard. Thank you for sharing and God bless 💕 Love from Johanne, Norway

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Absolutely!!

[@allthebest744]

Xander is such a happy little guy. Thank you for sharing him with us. I received my copy of “Another Life is Possible”. What a beautiful book! I just received it yesterday, so I am still looking at all of the stunning photos. I am eager to read how the Bruderhof has impacted so many lives.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

My grandfather Carroll King is in there! And Chris's dad Clem Robertshaw.

[@allthebest744]

Laura from the Bruderhof Thank you for referring me to their stories. I am so thankful that your grandfather found the forgiveness he was searching. I also enjoyed the story about your father-in-law. How rewarding it must be to teach the teenagers woodworking skills and then have the community enjoy their projects. Some of the stories are heartbreaking, but the one about little Luke really touched my heart. I have never heard of a doctor inviting a family to her house so they could visit and make decisions in a relaxed setting. Derek and Sara faced a difficult situation with prayer, love, and family. And it was done in their home, with the support of the community. Baby Luke knew he was loved and home. Laura, you are a treasure and truly have a gift of communication. I always feel happy after I watch your posts. Have a nice weekend!

[@lisaeshleman754]

thank you for your comments on divorce!!! love your thoughts on marriage!! your biblically based worldview is so refreshing im so glad I found you!

[@OurFamilyJourney]

I love hearing about family and marriage etc within the community. I also love to hear that single parents like myself are supported somewhat, that sounds really lovely. The bruderhof really is like seeing a glimpse of what God had planned for the world. You are very lucky to live there ☺️

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Maybe you can come visit us someday! When Covid permits!

[@OurFamilyJourney]

Laura from the Bruderhof I used to visit a lot when younger. A new visit is already in the works, just waiting on covid to ease. Hoping not too far off!

[@ammelepiz7265]

Laura, I'm so blessed by your videos. You're so beautiful inside and out, you have such a beautiful smile and you're so wise. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us :)

[@regisprimo2429]

What a wonderful testimony of Christian life, Laura. God bless you. Greetings from Brazil. 🙌🏻🙏🏻

[@zsuzsannaszasz5145]

We can see you are a very good mom. I am a hungarian christian and I want to say I love you. You are so clear. Your society can be proud of you.

[@mmck1463]

I really enjoy your teachings, as I think of them that way. I learn so much from you!!

[@emma-janeward8745]

Hi Laura and Xander I love your videos and I hope you are both having a lovely day! I am curious is birth control and/or natural family planning, within the confines of marriage, used in the Bruderhof? Is divorce or annulment allowed in extenuating circumstances? For example a member repeatedly commits adultery, a member leaves Christianity or domestic violence? Thanks again for your videos, I love them!

[@janwoG]

I am too individualistic to live your lifestyle but I admire you. May the Lord let your community to flourish.

[@TimeTraveller2054]

I love the mobile over Xander's crib! Is that handmade? He sure has found his voice! 😂

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yes, Chris and I made it - has a fishing theme of course!

[@eirishemd]

Lovely refreshing vlog and words to think about. Thank you for sharing❤️

[@pjmpjm1000]

Odd question. As a couple, do you have couple friends? How can single people not feel like a third wheel if they are assigned to live/or hang out with a married couple? As usual, you always do a great job on presenting the Bruderhof, thank you!

[@edw8889]

I love ur videos. So nice to listen to u. Thank u for talking about not judging others

[@marynevel6015]

Love hearing from you!

[@mimad57]

Divorce has it's place. There is nothing worse than staying in a toxic or abusive marriage. Especially when there are children involved, and watching. A healthy marriage is a wonderful thing, it is not always possible though. Unfortunately 😞

[@Eessgg93]

Great point! ❤

[@thekingsdaughter4233]

There is that... How much better would it be, though, when certain marriages didn't take place to begin with. If Christians go about finding a partner in the same way the world does, the results can hardly be different. :-( In many occasions (though not all), divorce is like closing the barn door after the horses ran out... :-(

[@CatSchroedinger]

@@thekingsdaughter4233 I'm not a Christian but I have faith in marriage too. I believe that if both partners are good people and are invested you can always prevent divorce.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

I discussed this in a video Chris and I did telling about how we met, but it's really important to take time before marriage to make sure you have a common basis for spending the rest of your lives together. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iKPNmJiGgMyMi8U And like I say in the video from today, I know that I am lucky to live in a community that supports us and that many people don't have that, so I'm not going to judge their situation. If there's an abusive situation with children involved the most important thing would be the children's safety, but parents living separately is not the same thing as divorce.

[@jackienaiditch7965]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof In spite of taking this time before marriage, sometimes a marriage evolves in a very negative or even dangerous way. That's why, for instance, there are places for sheltering women who are in abusive relationships. Sometimes the most prudent plan is for these women to get divorced. They deserve the chance to find happiness with someone else.

[@clarkjc44355]

He is so adorable! My daughter would do the same thing. Just lay in her crib at nap time or bedtime and "talk" for the longest time 🤣.

[@allthebest744]

Quick update! In addition to the book (see the post below), I just received my first issue of Plough Quarterly. Again, I am impressed with the quality of the publication and the content of the issue. Looks like I will be busy reading and being inspired!

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

That's great!

[@marisellopez6022]

you have a beautiful way of explaining your religion. Normally I cringe when people talk about god because it seems very disingenuous , but it feel very genuine coming from you.

[@safehaven2763]

Very well put Laura...this topic is difficult and you handled it gracefully...yes we all do struggle with sin but we know what they are though hard to face at times...we cannot condone those actions. Also you mentioned the kids being taken care of in the community...so if, God forbid, something happened to the parents and the child is not actually a member of the community, the community looks after the child until they reach adulthood? You are so blessed to have genuine communal support for family and marriages!!!

[@jkth4500]

I'm married to the most wonderful man for 34+ years, he is a devout Anglican Christian and regular church goer, I'm not bothered about religion....we work wonderfully together, people need to chill and let others do what suits them, both ways.

[@annekanilsson1909]

Do the Bruderhof allow you to have friends/connections outside the community? For example, if a person leaves their family to join the Bruderhof, are they allowed to call their parents/siblings and check in? Are they allowed to take a trip to visit their family?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yes to all your questions!

[@victoriaortega1990]

I got one question, just because i´m curious, i wanted to know if in the community for a married couple, is it allowed to use birth control?. Not because a couple don´t want children, just on cases like they want a certain number of kinds and not 10 for example. Love the community, i find it really inspiring.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Hi Victoria. This is a personal issue for each couple. We love children and we're happy for every one!

[@victoriaortega1990]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof Thank you so much for your answer!. I really like how honest you are about your life in the videos. Love watching them.

[@spicynugget1140]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof If a couple wanted to use birth control are they limited to non-hormonal contraception or are hormonal ones also acceptable? Would they need to access that outside of the Bruderhof or our the doctors in your community willing to prescribe it?

[@irmar]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof This doesn't answer the question. If a couple wants to use contraception to limit the number of its children without using just abstention, is contraception allowed and available? A clear yes or no answer would be needed.

[@lesreid2704]

@@irmar She has responded " this is a personal issue for each couple" !! And like nearly every other small community, medical professional services, hospital facilities and specialist medical care are accessed in the wider society.

[@taraburke826]

Thank you for sharing your Biblical practice and views on marriage. It is good to witness how God has blessed marriage, family and community under obedience to HIS written law. The Bruderhof expresses a most beautiful and living love of God and HIS people. Your living relationship with God and HIS people is a great and important example to us all. Thank you!

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thanks so much Tara

[@logothaironsides2942]

Love seeing the insider account of the bruderhof. I have only yesterday realised this group of people even existed and that England has two communities. If we had known of them 30 years ago, maybe we would have joined.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

You can still visit!

[@mari11anna]

As a gay woman, who loves learning about your lifestyle, I appreciate how clear you are on your position. I think some people forget that the hof is a place where you CHOOSE to be, whether you come from outside or inside of it. It seems clear to me that a gay person has the choice of how to live their live, and relatively to your community's convictions - If you are gay you are accepted but not foreseen to marry and be sexually active. And, I imagine ,if you live outside the community as an openly gay person you can still visit if you so wish/if you want to connect to ppl from the bruderhof etc. To me, the most important thing that you said is no judgement. We can all respect each other and coexist to the extend that all of us are comfortable with. Hope you have a great day!

[@jackienaiditch7965]

Mari--I find it interesting that your view--as a gay women--of the Bruderhof's rules about being gay in their community are more charitable than mine, as a straight woman. A problem I have with their views is that I feel it's a bit disingenuous of Laura to say she (and supposedly others in the Bruderhof) are nonjudgmental. In fact, they are passing judgment on those living a different lifestyle, and the results of this judgment are not benign. People in the LGBTQ community are victims of hate crimes, including homicide, and have a relatively high rate of suicide. Again, much of this is because of attitudes of many Christians. To me, this is the exact opposite of loving your fellow man, which I think is a big claim of the Bruderhof. As we know, the bible can be cherry-picked to reflect many different points of view, and was even used to justify slavery years ago. I find it very puzzling and counterintuitive that a gay person is less likely to be accepted by a very religious person than by, say, an atheist.

[@sandyfaithbringer6072]

Jackie Naiditch It’s love the sinner - hate the sin. You can treat people with kindness and love, without agreeing with their lifestyle choice. Bullying them is not acceptable but it’s okay to say that you don’t agree with homosexuality in a Christian context. As a Christian, I will never celebrate homosexuality as it goes against my beliefs but I will not bully or ostracise someone for their sexual orientation. These days, as soon as you don’t agree with something, it’s automatically deemed hate speech. No - it’s called having an opinion and a conviction and sticking to your moral values.

[@mari11anna]

@@jackienaiditch7965 thanks for your comment. I agree with everything you mention and, regrettably, I have some personal experience with it too. But I cannot expect someone whose moral code and convictions are different than mine to accept me and my lifestyle within their living framework. Now, don't get me wrong, I WILL argue with anyone who disrespects me. But what Laura does is acknowledging my existence and placing it within her reality where she sees fit, with no judgement and no violence. So honestly I couldn't ask for more and I wish everyone acted the same way with people they don't agree with. I hope this made sense! :)

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Thanks for your thoughtful reply Mari. Yes, you would absolutely be welcome to visit. All the best!

[@RichJCW]

@@sandyfaithbringer6072 The problem is that what you have said makes no sense. If homosexuality is a real thing that some people are born with (as you seem to suggest you accept), how can you 'not agree with it' or it say that it 'goes against your beliefs'? That's like saying you don't agree with people being blind or that people having different colored skin 'goes against your beliefs'.

[@lukitzo98]

what are the community’s thoughts on contraceptives or natural family planning methods?

[@justinhughes1]

I worked just down the road in Robertsbridge not long after the Bruderhof started. I can remember it being spoken of with confusion and disdain then. I am a Christian minister now, but was not a disciple back then. I must drop in a visit one day when over there. I live the Westcountry now.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

You totally should Justin!

[@Sages_and_Pages]

Hi! Great video. I’m just curious. Can a divorced person who then joins the Bruderhof get remarried within the community?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

If a former spouse is still living then no. But we would want to consider the facts of each situation.

[@suemoravec422]

As I continue to watch your videos, more questions come to mind, I know that I read or heard somewhere that children can go to college, I am assuming that since no one has money at the Bruderhof, that the students would most likely qualify for 100% financial aid and therefore the community would not have to pay for their college tuition, and that while no job is considered better than another, such as a physician is not valued any more than the person who does the laundry there is still a need for those that can perform jobs that require an education, such as dentists, teachers, Dr.s occupational therapists and the like. Who decides in the US Bruderhof communities who can go into those specific career paths in college? Medical and graduate schools are typically not covered under financial aid.

[@fr.photiosparks3713]

Although, I don't know anything about the financial aid piece, from what I've been told, the community pays the tuition. They have numerous members who have gone through medical school, etc. and numerous members are at Duke, WVU, and a bunch of other reputable school studying. I studied the Bruderhof for my masters thesis but that was some years back. But...Laura (or anyone from within the community) could answer this way better than me.

[@lxs118]

I'm curious to know if your feelings on divorce also apply to those, who find themselves in abusive relationships. Or if one parent is abusive towards the children. Isn't it then the responsibility of the other parent to remove the children and themselves from the abusive partner?

[@kellylorang6845]

She stated that there are families who have lived apart for years while trying to work things out. What I find rather appalling is how so many people use a serious situation like this, not to really talk about separating for good reasons, but as an excuse to remarry. Basically, once you are married, its for life. If you have to live apart for health reasons, that doesn't give you permission to divorce & remarry.

[@emma-janeward8745]

Kelly Lorang legally divorcing an abusive spouse is needed for many reasons. Safety is the biggest one, probably not applicable to the Bruderhof but financial security is also a second and very important reason. Abusive relationships are not simply an excuse to divorce. I can’t tell you how many times my mother tried to kill me as a child because I’ve lost count. I am blessed beyond belief that my Dad was able to successfully and legally seperate himself from her or I have no doubt I would be dead. God is good, God doesn’t want use to be abused. If He provides us a way out of abuse, do not shame people for taking it. Do not lump domestic abusive survivors in the same category as people who seperate due to irreconcilable differences.

[@therobertsuk8498]

Kelly Lorang depends if you believe in religion I guess!

[@888biblestudy]

@@emma-janeward8745 I divorced after 35 years because I became suicidal due to my marriage to a narcissist who turned my adult kids against me. I feel he abandoned me in various ways and therefore broke his vows. I am remarrying a man I have known since 1994. I cannot say for sure that the remarriage on my part is right but I also know that we are happy and serving God together and that I will not lose my salvation over it. I also follow Paul and not necessarily things written in the gospels as that is still the Old Testament and Jesus was teaching the law. Jesus Christ fulfilled the Law in at least two ways: as a teacher and as a doer. He taught people to obey the Law (Matthew 22:35-40; Mark 1:44)

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

In a situation like this the safety of the children would be the priority. But the parents living separately isn't the same as divorce.

[@mommytwice1023]

Hi Laura :-) I'm wondering how much maternity leave you get from your "work" commitments in the Bruderhof? Can you be a stay at home mum if you like? Or are you expected to return to you chores as soon as possible?

[@Mjl449]

Mommy Twice they get 6 weeks of mat leave and when they go back to work they get to leave work several times a day to feed their baby.

[@alenalaetitia7394]

I live in Germany with my husband and my six children. I never would go back to work since I have a baby under 2 years, because I think, him or she needs mum or dad, not other persons since the day.

[@Mjl449]

Alena Laetitia I live in Canada where taking 1 year to 18 months off is the norm. I, too, can’t imagine leaving my baby at 6 weeks old. But, Laura is from the states where it is very common to go back to work when baby is 6 weeks so that’s the norm for her.

[@alenalaetitia7394]

how sad 😢

[@Titbitist]

@@alenalaetitia7394 How is a year calculated to be enough even

[@thekawaiicripple]

How does the community view situations like myself in which a woman cannot have kids? I think marriage is for more than just recreating 💕

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Not every marriage is given children (and some people also marry when they're older), but we believe that there should be an attitude of welcome to all children. Yes, marriage is wonderful in many ways!

[@kaleezinn5214]

Awhh! That fishing mobile is so cute!

[@oliviaa5559]

Team keep Xander in the videos- I love his joyful noises!

[@kylieholman3877]

I'd love to know how you get saved and how you stay saved according to the BH. Also what happens if someone leaves the BH. Are they welcome to join in and still be part of the community to the extent they chose or are they shunned?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

If someone leaves the Bruderhof we would try to keep lines of communication open - and they are welcome to come back.

[@johannesdekoning9521]

Yes we are all in need of grace and mercy! Our only hope is the all sufficient sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. Dankie vir jou kosbare getuienis!

[@TicketToLearning]

How are mental and chronic health conditions handled by the Bruderhof? Are new people with these types of conditions still welcomed as it could potentially put a strain on the community?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

The wonderful thing about community is that people with health conditions can be taken care of and participate in community life, the same goes for older people - no one ever goes to an old people's home, they are cared for in their home.

[@deborahgate965]

I really enjoy your videos Laura. Your baby boy is gorgeous! Hello from Australia 😃🇦🇺

[@diddl03]

Thank you for this wonderful video!💛

[@bethhepler3147]

May I ask how long is your hair?thanks

[@catherinegrant7890]

Hi Laura, are people allowed to remarry if their spouse passes away? Especially at a young age? Or is it considered the same as divorce?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

If a spouse dies than someone can absolutely remarry - marriage vows are "till death do us part."

[@emmib1388]

may I ask why you feel death of a spouse is the same as a divorce?

[@sharoncole8249]

Hello again hope you and all your family are keeping well and safe much love sharon from uk 💜🙏💜

[@brooklynn.y.2507]

Love watching ur videos. I love ur content. I'm a practicing orthodox Jewish women. I was brought up the reason divorce is aloud is because gods presence can not be in a home that does not have peace. We go to all lengths to try to work stuff out but sometimes that's not possible. Example a couple who marries young and one of them develope schizophrenia and refuses to use meds and is completely off the wall. What would the bruderhof say the young women or man is stuck for the rest of their life?? Also is it right to children to grow up in a hostile environment? Sometimes a one parent household is healthier.

[@brooklynn.y.2507]

Also doesn't a women or man have the right to divorce an ill/abusive spouse and move on and build a home with another person. Why would God want ppl to suffer? Especially if they are young?

[@luqicharmz]

I have a friend that grew up in a Bruderhof community and I’m trying to learn more.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Awesome! So cool. Welcome to my channel. Hope you enjoy 😊

[@zariballard]

My goodness! That little boy is adorable♥ Laura, I just discovered the Bruderhof and while I know that no situation or environment is perfect, I would have to say that the structure of the Bruderhof is as close to perfect as you could get. This of course is because it follows the teachings of Jesus. I am fascinated by the openness of the community and how non- judgemental you all are. I'm almost worried that an outsider could come in with the wrong intention and taint the environment and how awful that would be to have to kick someone out. I wonder if that has happened. I wonder how you feel or think about comparing with the Amish in beliefs and teachings. You have an awesome family and I find you delightful. 🤗

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Hi Zari, thanks for watching. I think that if we believe strongly in what we're doing, influences from the outside won't be able to change or affect it. We come from the same faith tradition (Anabaptist) as the Amish, the biggest difference is that we believe in full community of goods as practiced by the first Church in Jerusalem.

[@brianmurphy7962]

Hi Laura, I pray that you and yours are well. I have a question regarding the Sacrament of Baptism at the Bruderhof. I am a Catholic deacon, I teach baptism preparation and celebrate the sacrament. We teach that all sacraments have “matter and form.” The matter being materials present (for baptism, water) and the form, or formula/ prayer being, “I baptize you in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit (as Jesus told his disciples in the Gospel of Matthew).These two things are necessary to confer the Sacrament. I tried to find the form for baptism used at the Bruderhof. I can’t find it. Can you let me/your viewers know? Thank you and God bless you.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Hi Brian, after the person requesting baptism answers a series of questions they recite the Nicene Creed as a public confession of faith and are then baptized "On the confession of your faith, I baptize you in the name of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." Then they are given a blessing with the laying on of hands "Since God in his grace has been merciful to you, and through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, his only begotten Son, and through the intercession of his church, has forgiven and remitted your sins, may he clothe you with powers from on high, write your name in the book of life, and keep you faithful and true until the end. This I wish you through Jesus Christ. Amen." Thanks for asking Brian

[@brianmurphy7962]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof thank you Laura!

[@curtisangelamay1510]

If there is no personal ownership of any physical objects, are you allowed to keep pictures of family with you when you transfer communities, or are there no framed pictures of family, or family photo albums?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Hi Curtis. Yes, people have family albums, personal Bibles, and so on. We don't "own" anything but we each have (for instance) a wardrobe of clothes that is ours to use, and likewise household items.

[@curtisangelamay1510]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof I have the same philosophy with pets. I don't personally feel you can own another sentient being, you simply have them. I have a dog, I don't own a dog.

[@mollycole1581]

can non members attend bruderhofian weddings and funerals if they are friends or family of the betrothed or deceased?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yes, we often have visitors at our church services - weddings, funerals, or other occasions - looking forward to this happening again after COVID!

[@CatSchroedinger]

I'm wondering how you would deal with one of your children possibly being gay. How cut off from the rest of society is your community? Would your gay child be able to live their truth without being kicked out of their community? As a teenager would they be allowed to bring a romantic parner home with them? I very much admire your stance of non-judgement. However, I wonder how true that can really be if being gay is seen as wrong in your faith. Gay people often feel judged, even if they have a support network around them. Are you not afraid that a gay child of yours would feel judged by your faith? Have a nice day!

[@donnaalpenhaus5916]

I was reading some comments from the BBC video about Bruderhof. One of the comments of about someone who was “kicked out” for being gay. My heart goes out to them and also their families as it seems quite cruel.

[@groundcrw847]

Doubtful she will respond to this one

[@fiona9100]

Bert Clayton what is a domineering mother?

[@melfros7100]

Being gay is not the issue for the Bruderhof. Laura made it clear that gay people are welcome to join. The issue is a relationship other than the accepted biblical norm: one woman, one man. One union. Furthermore, I believe the Bruderhof understands marriage foremost for its procreative purpose.

[@CatSchroedinger]

@@melfros7100 But wanting a relationship outside the biblical norm that's what being gay is. You can't separate "being gay" from "doing gay".

[@victoriaortega1990]

LOVE YOUR BABY!, SO CUTE! AND your videos are really good!

[@suebillingham8181]

PS I've been married nearly 36 years to a wonderful Christian man but we have been through a lot together.

[@KatiePepperSpark]

Hi Laura (and Xander!), I really love your channel and I am considering visiting a Bruderhof community when the world opens up again. I have one main question after watching this video. Would a divorced person who joins the community be able to marry someone in the community (ie a second marriage)? Or would their first marriage still be considered to exist? Does the answer depend on whether the first marriage was a legal or religious marriage? Okay so maybe that was three questions, but they were all on the same train of thought! Thanks again for your videos and for answering our questions! I hope you are having a lovely day :)

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Hi Katie - we would want to consider the facts of each situation, but in general we do believe that a second marriage after divorce is wrong. Hope you can come visit us!

[@KatiePepperSpark]

Thank you @@LaurafromtheBruderhof so much for your answer! I really appreciate it :)

[@elygale2001]

Children can have two loving parents who are married and both female or both male. Also, many people are not born male or female, some people are born intersex. So, I identify as a Christian and have even found teachings about intersex people in the Bible (yes, we have been around a long time). I lived in a Quaker community for three years that I always wished was more Christian in practice and teachings and think that there are many ways I would be happy living in a Bruderhof community. But having been raised female and then finding out I was medically more male in my teenage years because of the way my intersex condition works, I am now living as male. I’m not producing any sex hormones (estrogen or testosterone) and having to take testosterone to survive. If I came, would I have to lived in secret or just be asked to leave outright?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Hi Ely! I don't want to comment on your personal situation but you should feel free to send an email to [e-mail] if you want to be in correspondence with somebody. All the best.

[@elygale2001]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof would you be the one reading and responding to my email?

[@josephhanek7919]

I love the way you explain things thank you for doing these video's

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Glad you like them!

[@sue1263]

I see that you wear two rings, what does the other one represent? I know that you have mentioned that you and the community own no material possessions so I am assuming the other ring has some sort of significance? While I don’t necessarily share the same beliefs, I love that you are so devoted to living your faith. Thank you for sharing your life and answering our questions. I so enjoy your videos and one more question do you use cloth or disposable diapers?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yes, I have a wedding ring and the other ring I wear is for the lifelong vows I made to be a member of the Bruderhof - I think members of some Catholic religious orders also wear rings when they make vows. If you look at it closely, it's an open ring (there's a little gap in it) to signify that our circle is open to others, and the gap is in the form of a cross. To your other question: cloth diapers!

[@kalakakku7749]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof That is so interesting. I had wondered this also, since I saw others from the Bruderhof also wear two rings.

[@robinsdog1]

You have a lovely lilt to your voice. Where is this from?

[@georgepullman5304]

What a fantastic vid. Can't wait for the next one

[@delphinium5555]

The lovely Laura speaking so eloquently on Marriage despite the background squawking by her beautiful son!

[@ace-demiromantic-girl1129]

Would Bruderhof accept a in their state or counrty legaly married couple as a married couple?

[@emmib1388]

she answers your question in the video....

[@Alex-dk8dl]

I couldnt remarry a community member if I came in as a divorcee?

[@TheRawfoodgardener]

So, would a couple who are married, but had previously been married before be rejected to join the community?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Each situation is a little different and we would definitely consider the facts, but in general we believe that marriage after divorce is wrong.

[@H3arme3r0ar]

What happens if the relationship is abusive . Sadly there are some people who do very bad things and harm their spouse and/or children. Would the couple he allowed to divorce in this case and the abused members be saved ?

[@rachaelbakker5138]

Hi Laura, thank you for this video. I really appreciate how clear, honest, and nonjudgemental you are ❤ Having grown up in a Christian home and school I fully understand all the teaching regarding no sex before marriage and how any relationship other than a man or a woman is a sin, but I can't shake how wrong it seems to me and how unlike the character of God to condemn relationships that aren't a man and a woman. I did some research on the subject so that I could try to better understand it and found a really good seminar online. Its definitely worth a listen to. If you look up: Dr. Brownson Romans 1:24-27 part one the Reformation Project on KZbin it should pop up. I highly recommend watching it, its always beneficial to look deeper into the meaning behind why we're taught what we're taught. Thank you for your videos 😊

[@kellylorang6845]

Ok, I see people keep asking about the gay lifestyle. She has stated that the Bruderhof believe in marriage between 1 man & 1 woman, as the Bible decrees. Full stop. She does say that a gay person can join the Bruderhof if they live a celibate life, just as ALL single people are expected to do outside of marriage (as given to us in the Bible).

[@justinswanton287]

I was tempted to post exactly the same thing. Laura is diplomatic but clear. This topic is being pushed too often and too hard in the comments. Everybody knows exactly what the traditional Christian take is on the subject. The question is answered in advance. See Romans 1.26-7, I Corinthians 6.9-10, I Timothy 1.9-10 and Jude 1.7. Much less diplomatic but also clear enough.

[@donnaalpenhaus5916]

God is science. Religions get hung up on the fine print, while the earth continues to evolve :)

[@kellylorang6845]

@Matt Arnold The Bible is believed to be the inspired word of God/Holy Spirit. The problem is, either you believe it in its entirety, or you have to believe that God left man with no teachings at all. Because, if only part of the Bible is inspired by God, who decides what is truth? EVERY commandment or story is up for grabs. I mean, how would we know that Jesus is actually the Son of God & not just another prophet? We can't say the parts of the Bible we agree to are inspired but the other parts aren't! Either the Bible is true in its entirety or not. just my 2 cents worth. As for why God would 'make' a person gay if it is against God's will for us, we might as well ask why some men are interested in children, or why some are born with dibiltating deseases/birth defects, etc. God gives us all a cross to bear. Mine is an anxiety disorder, OCD & agoraphobia.

[@CitizenKatie]

@@kellylorang6845 So you shouldn't wear clothes made of two different materials? Or sit where a menstruating woman has sat? And if you drop grapes on the ground you have to leave them there for poor people? Literal like this?

[@chelsey9987]

@@CitizenKatie this! Funny how some “Christians” cherry-pick two consenting adults who love each other to be the most abominable sin when they also spout all sins are equal...

[@ashtonclark4039]

Xander in the background is precious. Please don't feel like you can't make videos with him, it's just like how sweet the sound of a child is to hear in church. Children are such gifts and always welcome.

[@annaohare8263]

It wasn't clear about single unmarried mums, can they join and eventually marry within the burdohof? Or must she live with her situation?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

A single mother married or unmarried mother (or dad) could become a member with her children.

[@kaycure8629]

I have noticed that a lot of the people there also have rings on the right hand. Does it signify anything?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

Yes! I have a wedding ring and the other ring stands for my lifelong vows as a member of the Bruderhof. It actually has a small opening in it to signify that the church is open to all, and the opening is in the shape of the cross.

[@kaycure8629]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof nice, thanks for responding.

[@deosaranharridath9899]

Good God given perspective.

[@Benstephan123]

The baby entertain himself 😍😍 soooo cute

[@mritchie85]

I'd like to get married, seems like the emphasis in today's culture is that everything takes precedence over family, marriage and home making with more and more people still single late into 30's.

[@anna-katehowell9852]

Xander is so big! Best of luck to him with the teething -- I know that can be rough on little ones.

[@emmabown9751]

Great video. Can you tell me do you follow the ten commandments and you also talk about the talk Jesus did on the mount. Thanks

[@GeekTrow]

Wait, the mobile on the bed, what do I see, but lures! So today our sermon for worship was on Matthew 19. Have a blessed week!!!

[@chefevilee9566]

Wonderful!

[@rebeccaspalding6132]

Such a beautiful happy baby boy, despite the teething...💞

[@elenaamberg5979]

What about those who would like to marry but dont find a spouse and would like to have children and they already are 37,38,39?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

People can get married at that age! And it's in God's hands whether they have children.

[@janajohnson5488]

the baby mobile is such a sweet gift to your son.

[@GreaterGood2024]

Can you start a Bruderhof commune in Asean countries?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

We have a little community in Taebek, South Korea - you can look it up on bruderhof.com. All the best!

[@thumper5832]

I agree with a lot of what you say. I would just add that Paul makes it clear in 1Cor. 7:15 that you are not to seek a divorce, but if someone abandons you, you are not bound by that covenant which they broke. Followed up by 1 Cor. 7:27-28 "if you have been loosed from a wife and marry, you have not sinned." This is biblical divorce and remarriage.

[@traceybooth5840]

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 4 TIMES, MOSTLY TO ABUSIVE AND VIOLENT MEN. I CANNOT HAVE ANY MORE CHILDREN, BUT I LOVE CHILDREN. ARE YOU OK TO LIVE WITH A MAN JUST FOR COMPANIONSHIP NOT AS A LOVER?

[@mommymum5696]

How old are you? Are members of the bruderhof able to merry people who don't want to live there and don't live there already?

[@UnPoquitoDeSal]

It's a good thing you can stop and re-watch parts as I kept getting distracted by the little kiddo! I especially like the part where you mention that you would welcome ANYONE, but who are committed to the same Biblical principles as yourselves. Being in agreement on certain fundamental principles really is one of the most important aspects community i.e. common unity. (I really don't understand why this is a controversial point. I mean, nobody is going to join Extinction Rebellion who wants to continue to defend fossil fuels and not commit to reducing their environmental impact.)

[@chazchillings3019]

To become catholic, we would have to write all our previous sins on a list ( like divorce etc.) and send it to Rome to be absolved. What is Bruderhof’s membership process on sin.

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

You can read about that process here www.bruderhof.com/en/our-faith/foundations/church-actions/baptism

[@janajohnson5488]

lovely heartfelt video. you worded everything great! Super cutiepie Zander!

[@888biblestudy]

Xander was adorable and definitely not too loud. I am sure he was louder to you than to the camera. :-)

[@lifeinnature1916]

❤️ sending love from Denmark

[@axlismypuppy]

I think one of the biggest factors in fights in a marriage can be financial issues so I think community living is a great thing to exclude that specific issue. These days it seems that divorce is too quick of an option rather than both parties 100% working towards their marriage. I'm curious on the community's stance on divorce within the community. There are some VERY good, Biblical reasons for divorce like infidelity, abuse of all sorts etc. Does the community approve of divorce within the community when it comes to these issues? How would they deal with the abuser or cheater?

[@LaurafromtheBruderhof]

A couple might be separated for a time, but marriage vows are taken for life. I don't mean to sound glib and I know there are many difficult situations that people find themselves in.

[@axlismypuppy]

@@LaurafromtheBruderhof I get that vows are supposed to be for life but in my opinion there are certain instances where God would call for divorce. There are things to me that are just too horrible to find forgiveness for. For example my mom is divorced from my dad due to a lot of infidelity, including with a husband and wife, as well as physically abusing me to the point where I am disabled for life (plus mental, verbal, emotional and sexual abuse). My mom tried at first but his family hid him when the Pastor came to speak to him. I don't believe God would want that for his children. BUT that being said I understand what you're saying to a point.