Dating Is Dead | Kevin Carr | TEDxWilmingtonSalon

Despite the possibilities of modern technology, the desire for instant results does not always translate well in the dating world.
Kevin Carr contrasts the expectations of relationships in modern day versus in previous generations. For example, what is considered a date today versus decades ago? And what exactly are “situationships”?
Even with today’s advancements and unlimited opportunities, we still can’t escape our desire for companionship.
Kevin Carr is an accomplished author, speaker and TV Host/Personality. With over a decade of experience, his perspective on dating offers a practical road-map to help navigate being single while learning to create the relationship you desire. Whether addressing millennials, college students or a group of professionals seeking a meaningful relationship amidst their busy careers, Kevin delivers a message that provides direction and promotes honest dialogue. His unique perspective and engaging delivery have made him a sought after speaker across the country including appearances on ABC, BET, CBS, FOX and TBN. As a contributor, his work has also been featured in Essence, HelloBeautiful.com, and The Huffington Post. In his first book, “If All Men Are Dogs, Then Women You Hold the Leash,” he shows women how to tap into their personal power to control the pace and direction of their relationships.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@jthymesthree602]

I hate how no one wants to talk on the phone anymore. Texting is so impersonal and just gives you more freedom to be fake.

[@yasminhabibti721]

Me too! I'm a millennial, who's considered old-fashioned. Texting can also result in miscommunication, arguments ("what did you mean why you said that...when you said that? what's up with the emoji?") and misinterpretation of the intention of the text.

[@runningshoes6253]

Same here! I grew up in the 80's,back when people had conversations face to face, people seemed to get along better. Just my opinion.

[@isambo400]

Texting makes you miserable!

[@lilgoldenbuddy]

This is why my partner make it a point to speak on the phone. We live far apart and without phone calls/video chat, our relationship would suffer. We also have a better level of communication than we would if we just texted.

[@crazyleaf257]

Yeah a phone call is easier when you have a lot to say and not enough time to type it out with your fingers. But it can also be an awkward thing. People think that if you’re on the phone you have to talk the whole time and have something to say, but it’s OK for it to be quiet for a little while. I think people are afraid of silence. With a text I think people feel like the pressure is off and they can answer whenever they feel like it.

[@dougdemurosautotradercolum6626]

I grew up with the idea of romance and relationships beeing the ultimate fullfilment. For me the opposite happened. It brought me heartbreak, misery, frustration and depression. The more I cared for a girl, the greater the pain was in the long run. Now i'm living in monk-mode and feeling better and reliefed. Probably I will never go back.

[@LuCkiiEsZz]

@@IRISARIA yea sure make the guy risk another depression

[@jackt7331]

Bro, having a nice companion with you while you get old is great, don't give up. Work trough the fights and arguments and try to make your girls a better person along with you. Not everyone can be that for you though, you have to be careful of all the crazy bitches out there

[@neurohackstv5723]

Doug Demuros autotrader column I’ve gravitated towards that social lifestyle quite often! :D

[@zitools]

The word "love" is redefined the moment you hold your child and it smiles at you.

[@KingKhan-123]

but you will

[@chantellemodisane]

There's no point in blaming one another for why dating is dead. Dating is dead because we killed it. Being unrealistic, entitled, narcissistic, toxic and unwillingly to compromise, communicate, respect one another and give without expectations. We lack self-awareness, responsibility, accountability and other emotional intelligence qualities.

[@candyxoxo19]

Exactly. All these people blaming it on the other gender when the reason so many men are single is because of hook up culture.

[@ceeIoc]

@@candyxoxo19 same reason so many women are single and stay on dating apps forever and once they hit the wall reality hits too.

[@BoricuaBoy88]

This part.

[@m.bennell3518]

"We", = Women.

[@SwitchMaxFX]

Comment should be way higher up. Good points all around.

[@coolxjl]

It's ironic that the term Social Media is used for things which are inherently antisocial.

[@peterdentice5725]

CoolJL cause and effect😐

[@koolhwhip2957]

Asocial*

[@Samurai7able]

Bro straight up!!!

[@allisonwaters716]

@@koolhwhip2957 I was about to do this! Thank you

[@robi6317]

its more about the media part than the social part

[@Benjamin-David]

Kids grew up in broken homes. Mom and dad bringing temporary step parents into their lives. They saw the fruits of dating marriage cohabitation.

[@frednil8304]

Her children 30 times more likely to get molested compared to father. Bad for everyone.

[@gentlegingie]

You didn’t have to be that specific to me

[@ELMATADOR364]

Dating isn't dead. What's dead is COMMITMENT....

[@walterhicks5520]

IRS, death, mortgage,....ummmm, nope. Commitment is very much alive. Not the problem there.

[@c.anders430]

Venus in Cancer and Pisces beg to differ friend.

[@HopperDragon]

Right, cause infidelity is new

[@prasantomahato805]

Why only men commit.

[@atheplummer]

What's dead is Male Familial authority. Men still have all the responsibility that we previously had, without any authority.... Feminism has given women all the opportunity with zero consequences or holds them accountable for their behavior... It's always men's fault, no matter what. That's why MGTOW exists, is growing, and is the ONLY way through this malevolent gynocentric culture, and legal mine field. Just get a doll if you can't keep it in your pants gentlemen.

[@tranceformerfx]

In the early 80's, all the way up the late 2000's - requesting/receiving phone numbers was fool proof for at least one date. In 2017, giving a girl your number doesn't do shit except get awkward silences and ghosting.....

[@jakehunter3839]

yup.

[@adamlindsey7591]

You are correct sir

[@Hayden-bs3oz]

So true...and they act as if your the weird one... wtf is wrong with people.

[@lisa9867]

You could get HER number and call her first. I hate when random guys give me their number that I didn't ask for. Some men need to get over themselves.

[@Hayden-bs3oz]

@@lisa9867 "sorry, I don't give my number out to people I don't know"...women want 3 things, attention, money, and what they can't have 😂 men too really...

[@77dotfoldpen73]

Dating isn't dead, it's just became very shallow

[@jillsanders7072]

Justin Granville good comment amiss so many dumb ones

[@yasminhabibti721]

YES! Exactly!!! I hate it, but it's true.

[@MissHannah2036]

what's the diff

[@mikitz]

I've never been on a date all my life, still hasn't affected anything. The best way to deal with a relationship turns out to be not to call the 'thing' anything. Just have common rules. This way you don't practically even ever have to break up, either :P

[@DanishCamp]

Along with friendships

[@brandonboss6868]

20% of milenials married? Damn that seems a bit high lol

[@user-gt3qc2oy1h]

dont forget they divorce in 5 seconds too lol

[@markigirl2757]

im part of the 20% and we are working out just fine

[@mgtow6683]

Marriage = Slavery Mgtow = Freedom

[@markone6861]

@@markigirl2757 you are one out of the millions

[@griz063]

Remember the definition of "marriage" has been re-defined several times to include unions that bear no resemblance to the classic definition both in composition and stability. Most are primarily committed . . to just their own feelings. And "the other" is only "significant" for as long as they can provide these for you.

[@coolworx]

Save your money and your sanity, gentlemen. It's a rigged game, and you don't have to play.

[@logisticstransfer2475]

👆

[@JRich165]

The presidential campaign is getting harder and harder these days. You just may have gained my ballot for 2020

[@coolworx]

@@JRich165 You're not listening... You have to stay away from ballads!

[@joygernautm6641]

Save your sanity, your bodily integrity and your money ladies, they will never truly love you, and you need to stop expecting them too. wGTOW

[@leftheodo]

@@joygernautm6641 I'm in love with gf and she loves me. I once got hit by a bowling ball on the head just to protect her. Through the centuries millions of men died to provide and protect their families. Men's love is so strong that sometimes surpasses the survival instinct, which is there to keep you alive. How many women died while protecting their husbands? Stop playing the victim all day. Men love more than women. You are just never satisfied because you believe that everything on this planet is created to serve your needs

[@marksmoothe]

It’s so disheartening to think dating and love in this generation is dead. I’m old school, I want to go to dinner and a movie or go to the lake and talk and eat something home cooked or store bought. It really sucks that even in a world where we have so much access to people via the web, love seems to be fading. 😞

[@kevinbetter4741]

The relationship you have with yourself is the key. Plant roots. Grow fruit.

[@sanjosemike3137]

Kevin, Please tell me why men should do that? And include a parasite woman? Sanjosemike (no longer in CA)

[@rachellove4221]

Kevin Bayat plain and simple

[@DaxSports1]

Spit dat knowledge kev...

[@SanderBastiaans]

Wow, what a great insight dude!

[@lindseye4300]

Spot on 🙏🏼

[@TheSpicyLeg]

I wake up every day thankful to God I met my wife as a strapping 21 year old man. We were both virgins and dedicated to God, which made all the difference. 15 years and four children later, still going strong. With Jesus, all things are possible.

[@DOUBLE0SEVUN]

Lucky man!

[@bernardlartims9114]

I mean that's the only way . If you are dedicated to God and stayed chaste in your young years uou get a vvip ticket .

[@user-jn1wm3tb8v]

So wholesome.

[@diogofarias1822]

With Allah too

[@zef1954]

Tom-A062 Lmfaooo I’m dead

[@liamwiltshire3400]

Jeez this is so accurate. Certified millennial here, and exactly what this guy describes is how it is. The other day I implied two of my friends were in a relationship, and they looked at me gone out, as though I was crazy. They are fucking, going on dates all the time and spend all of their time together but not in a relationship. It's scary really. Awesome ted talks

[@cryora]

Liam Wiltshire Sounds like it's the same for any generation. We didn't have apps when I was in high school, only Facebook, Myspace, and AIM. Wasn't much different.

[@mr.cifuentes1779]

Liam Wiltshire Casual relationship

[@dreadpiratelenny1348]

Liam- Yeah, this is painfully accurate. I'm a late 80's model millenial, and dating is nothing like it was just 10 years ago. Early last year, I started talking to the 26 year old secretary at my workplace. Soon enough we were sleeping together, going on hiking and camping trips, I met her family, and so on. This went on for almost 2 years. One day, we were cuddling, watching Netflix, and she was texting someone. I couldn't help but notice that she as texting a guy. Naturally, I asked her who she was talking to. She said.... "My boyfriend, Sam. You two should meet up! I bet you guys would get along great!" Apparently, there are many "stages" of "involvement" with another person in regards to intimate relationship. After heated discussion, she explained to me that we were not dating, and that for the past two years, we were just a "thing". I don't want to give up on love, but I simply have no idea how to proceed in todays culture. I feel old saying this, but "BACK IN MY DAY", you were either together, or you weren't. Best I can understand from my last few "things", Until two people decide to get married, even if they have children already, the relationship is totally open by default. That's just not good enough for me.

[@elizabethbennet4791]

that's so cold hearted, and no one is afraid they will be cheated on or abandoned? Jeez I dont know how they do it

[@elizabethbennet4791]

Should I leave my cam profile here? FFS everyone is marketing some dating profile in this thread.

[@goddessjnu6055]

OMG im 44 years old and I thank god I'm not young anymore and I grew up in a time when dating and love was good and genuine that damn internet and cell phone is the death of everything

[@Last_one_before_I_go]

and facebook has done its fair share too...

[@osmanguney7324]

Homertoeclipper Facebook is on the internet

[@Last_one_before_I_go]

yeah yeah ok I'm a drooling mouthbreather...but thank God I'm not on Facebook....

[@Y0UM4DBR0]

Goddess Jnu im 24. Cell phones and texting in class just began when i was in 7th grade. My first 'high school' relationship, i realized how terrible cell phones are for dating. I didnt have a phone but my girlfriend did and guys constantly hitted her up and flirted with her. One guy convinced her to basically meet at a park and have sex. She told me she wanted a 'break' to have guilt free sex with another person. So many other schemes happened because of her cell phone.

[@spacelyman9482]

Goddess Jnu Your absolutely right.

[@mabonhunts]

Personally I don't understand why the aversion to actually talking on the phone. Its actually harder to text someone then to call and talk to them. I would much rather have a conversation on the phone then to text.

[@ocircles738]

1. I was doing something else when you called and my flow is gonna be dead until you hang up 2. A lot of people act weird over the phone (awkward/overly formal) 3. I have a way harder time making out what people say over the phone 4. No body language makes communication worse by a lot imo 5. That moment when everyone goes silent cuz ur phone rings and suddenly everyone is listening to your conversation Mm, that's all I can think of at the top of my head :)

[@yasminhabibti721]

Thank you! Personality, however, has a lot to do with it.

[@williamvandusen3751]

I agree, I also think it helps making the relationship or connection more personal. You dont text a job interview right? I always go in a week early to speak in person and introduce myself. In person is right no matter what, as personal as you can get the better.

[@MissHannah2036]

I grew up without mob phones until I was 26 but I still feel awkward talking on the phone. But when initiating a date with a person to make that connection, hear their voice and their intonation, is very important to me. It helps you make that final decision to meet someone I think, building a little bit of reporte, hearing them and knowing you have their full attention at that point in time.

[@MisyeDiVre]

Dennis McConnell women prefer text these days...

[@danhammond9066]

Your phone is your dating device. Swipe right. You never get to know anyone because you already eliminate them based upon looks. As you said it is immediate. You only take the time to read if they look nice and appealing to you. And if what they write is too wordy you swipe right again. That's not dating its match elimination.

[@osmanguney7324]

Dan Hammond swiping right is like in real life you sort people out by their looks all the time

[@yasminhabibti721]

Yep. It also shows that we want things now, the way we want them and we don't really want to know the true essence of a person. I once dated a couple of men who were...not that attractive, but their hearts were tender.

[@gbjanuary]

Dan Hammond 👍👍💯

[@TheBoeboe]

this is what i do in the real world... in the club, if she is not my type, i wont talk with her... if she wont stop talking it is unapealing.. stop acting like it is a new problem

[@bullfrogboss8008]

Actually I'm the one to get eliminated because of my looks lol

[@GreatBirdOfHope]

The problem is that social media gives women too many branches to grab. Its only a matter of time. Good luck fellas!

[@davidbolha]

MGTOW ? 😉

[@hunterkelly3833]

@@davidbolha men grabbing their own weiners 😉

[@davidbolha]

@@hunterkelly3833 Or wallets. 😅

[@SydneyGreenstreet1227]

Hunter Kelly Better than grabbing someone else’s,( like you probably ).

[@spheleledladla4741]

I like your comment but maybe b/c I look at it from a different angle. This applies to every gender. It’s just sad that it’s only getting worse and not better. One can easily lose themselves in the middle of having many options

[@saltymedpac3943]

I would date....but i dont want to end up in jail on false charges.

[@EnVee215]

Tinder isn't too blame, simps are to blame. Simps destroy the world.

[@Rubarb84]

Nathan136 simps?!

[@jakemf1]

Nathan136 who has the power! It’s not the simps- they are a product of the modern women not the cause

[@603solo]

roger gerritsen the only reason women were given the opportunity to vote is to introduce them into the workforce alongside men so they may be taxed just like men.

[@sirbigpappy]

Big facts

[@ImaSpace_Cadet]

I disagree, simps make it easier for us alphas to be distinguished from them,

[@kingc1198]

The reason dating is dead is due to shallownes,vanity

[@Melly16yr10]

Sad but true

[@cusny01]

V true

[@iamgabrielf]

Where's the why? Ridiculous standards. Relationships don't end because people are not happy. They end because people think they can be happier.

[@abusername1270]

Nailed it

[@gsofficial]

To me, the weirdest part of this video is when he says "my generation"... I have absolutely no idea how old this guy is. He could be anywhere from 20 to 50.

[@showmeyrkitties2335]

Is he bald, or did he shave his head?

[@Exxon300]

ShowMe YrKitties bald

[@Exxon300]

derp I know right I was thinking the same thing

[@danielf.6770]

He might 100 ha ha ha

[@SergioDumbrava]

he said he was a millenial aswell

[@CapnAkira]

He's missing one simple issue: people don't like each other. Women can't stand men for not being good enough (height, looks, income, etc) and men can't women for constantly telling them they're not good enough. A number of us basically tolerate each other for as long as we can and move on.

[@harrysmith747]

Women are never happy. They honestly think Prince Harry is just going to come bursting through the door and sweep them off their feet. It's like woman, you're 5'2" and 400 pounds...Prince Harry isn't going to divorce Meghan Markle for you lol.

[@kickster4u]

Hypergamy/80/20 rule, law of diminishing returns, ect the more you learn the less you want women.

[@Penelope416]

Women don't even like women

[@rubiecon6425]

@@harrysmith747 come on broo lets be nice lol

[@glassycreek1991]

well get better!!

[@ZealousAnubis]

Many times I've been involved in social groups, invited to events, etcetera. It's always the same pattern: it's all really fun, initially. But then after a couple of weeks, months, you realize everyone has moved on to other things, or you find out more about them and they don't seem all that appealing anymore. I wasn't getting those running hugs or enthusiastic "hello's", anymore, and I always end up feeling like I'm the one that should get a clue and move on. And even though I take care of business, exercise, look DAMN good, etcetera, every girl I've ever liked has used me as a shoulder to cry on. About their abusive mothers(quite common), their messy roommate, whatever. It's hard to TRUST people these days. That's why I like being alone, because at least I can trust myself.

[@cellyspeaks1062]

ZealGreymon im beat too

[@momyour69]

ZealGreymon they just want money

[@Rhekon]

ZealGreymon that doesn't sound all that bad. Did you communicate those things to them that you wanted in the relationship?

[@winnielovestrash2221]

Yourmom69 lol

[@ZealousAnubis]

Oh yeah, it's always the same: we get close, I spill my heart, then they lock theirs up and float about their days as if I didn't do or say anything. But not before telling me their stories of how sad or how busy it's been for them.

[@LoneWolf-vu6qy]

From my point of view getting a GF, and dating in general, honestly seems like too much work. Why would I want to stress myself out asking multiple women out over and over again? Dating just seems like more stress then fun.

[@jacobjacob4139]

It is

[@cinderea]

thank you! People forget that part. Sleeping around and creating babies with no parents. Yes you don't have a "wife' but you still have to deal with that person because you have a child with them. There are more single parents although lower marriages. Going on different dates is more stressful to me because there is no accountability with that person. People don't even know where they get their stds from. I'll rather be single and not date at all as it stresses me out. On the other hand, you get in a relationship and you get your heart broken. We can't win …..

[@overtimedemo4399]

@@cinderea shut up, yall got it easy

[@swiftkarma4436]

@@overtimedemo4399 you sound pathetic

[@willrobinson8846]

Its dead because nobody is really single anymore. Everyone is just walking around with a stash of "hook ups" to call when they want sex.

[@willrobinson8846]

Exactly... It is a disaster. Everybody is banging 3/4 people. Nothing is serious. Under age 25 crowd is basically an orgy in major cities. "thank you, had fun lastnight" 1 month later "Hey, you free tonight?"

[@unnderneath]

@@willrobinson8846 LOL if that ain't the truth...

[@mrsushicut]

No it's a hookup but not for everybody, it's became like our stock market, some have it all, some have a few and many have nothing at all

[@crescentmoondesigns7515]

Dating now is netflix and chill we are too afraid to ask eachother out because we don't want to look desperate

[@blackagent4754]

Lori J You basically said it, chief. Everything you said is true.

[@lur3950]

Lori J yeah, but also. What's in it for me. Can be a huge headache that never goes away.

[@silentlamont9196]

No men are afraid to ask women out it's when we were afraid to ask me now because they want the control

[@stephenb3402]

Women never ask men out lol

[@coldstreamer9574]

Lori J Absolutely, because people now are superficial and shallow. They’re more concerned with how others see them rather than being honest or even remotely sincere.

[@spencerjenkins4034]

I've been looking for something like this, I'm a teen and it seems like a "real relationship" is the ones in the movies that are fairy tales and would never happen. ima think this through

[@alishadurbrow9254]

Spencer Jenkins The movies do a very bad job of representing what real life love is like. My folks have been together for 50 years, they still love each other. But, I have not found love. Knowing what it is, what it looks like, and being able to find it are not the same thing. (Sigh)

[@cellyspeaks1062]

Spencer Jenkins you have time dude ..

[@14thivy89]

You have more than enough time. But when you do start seriously dating, remember....don't look for perfection, just perfect for you.

[@mexikunt]

Spencer Jenkins I met my boyfriend at 18. To be fair, we started hooking up after talking online and that blossomed into a relationship. So I guess you're right? But you have time. It's not as bleak as it seems.

[@rogerl.w.4299]

Spencer Jenkins

[@Jenkkimie]

Why worry so much about trends? Do yourself, be the person you want to be.

[@bucketfoot5306]

Because trends effect your life tremendously, the fact that you speak English is the by product of a trend. The fact that you are on youtube and watching a ted talk is because of trends that allow them to be popular. You should care about trends because your likely a part of a lot of them.

[@Rhekon]

bucket foot5 *affect

[@Jenkkimie]

Is that why we teach ourselves to talk English? Not to communicate in the world but because it is fashionable? Is that why people watch TED talks? Not to learn and observe informative and intellectually stimulating speeches but because they are popular and being popular is cool? No I do not care about trends. I do not quite understand why anybody would try to live their lives based on what other people do in life when you are the one you have to be able to live with in the end of the day. What use does it do to wear clothing other people want to -, have interests that other people have -, have a career that your parents probably wanted you to have but doesn't interest you particularly -, or anything of the sort? Why do that to yourself? Why not do whatever you prefer to do because that is truly you and bother less if some person agrees or disagrees. They aren't you, they probably aren't even part of your life anyway. So why bother trying to please their insecurities rather than live your own life for yourself and the people you care about?

[@user-ej3op3hm1d]

Jenkkimie , I agree! I think there is the difference between "I wish" and "I have to".

[@nandafprado]

Trends just represent the grow of a culture, the evolution of society and economical tendencies. We analise because is important so is not exactly analising people to be trendy but for social construct.

[@NarutoPiece]

Dating is a waste of time. Men are going MGTOW. Even men who have never heard of MGTOW. The juice isnt worth the squeeze.

[@ZombieNinjaTurtle]

you will grow old sad and alone though, not a life for me

[@NarutoPiece]

@@ZombieNinjaTurtle being alone doesnt mean unhappy. That's just a shaming tactic people use to shame men for being alone. Being alone can be freeing and help you become a stronger better person. And it's better to be alone than be with someone who makes you feel alone. People today just get into relationships just to be in relationships nothing more.

[@ZombieNinjaTurtle]

@@NarutoPiece I agree that being in a bad relationship just to feel less alone is bad... but I think being lonely is horrible and growing old completely alone, having no one who cares about you, would make me sad. But maybe it's because I'm an extroverted person

[@ZombieNinjaTurtle]

@Miller Time when you hit your 40s though most of your family and friends are either dead or busy themselves with their wives and kids... They don't have as much time to focus on you or hang out

[@ZombieNinjaTurtle]

@Blake Q true bro, I think no one should be in a bad relationship just because they're scared of being alone

[@mgtow6683]

Mgtow is the future!

[@thisisstraightcancerboi7063]

MGTOW is cope

[@ZombieNinjaTurtle]

incel

[@jesuschristislord7754]

MGTOW is a cope with an adharmic, gynocentric society. Nothing more.

[@senpaibushido7911]

feminism did not kill the dating - hypergamy did .... feminism just hastened it. Stay safe ... go MGTOW

[@Soul56293]

What I noticed is women want to be just like men these days. They don’t understand that it just doesn’t work that way.

[@RearAdmiralTootToot]

Gotta love how he concludes his speech by answering a yes or no question with a "maybe" leaving us exactly where we started before watching the video.

[@trumpit-yy5fn]

I'm here just for the comments.

[@supernova901]

Me too fellow stranger

[@mrsushicut]

I brought pop corn ^^

[@rani5083]

it’s full of incels 😃

[@SweaterSwagg]

It's a warzone lmaooo

[@endlesseyes149]

Most “relationships” these days don’t last 9 months.

[@tonika7543]

Probably last less than a month nowadays.

[@ricoamordavila7496]

Thank God. People are so entitled *cough* women

[@Maki-qw8he]

Feminism and social media has killed everything.... Yeah I'm just gonna stay single.

[@j_Uy_8qwi8HbC9XLt4kpvQ]

I agree with your comment but men are also very shallow nowadays.

[@liamthomas2494]

Do feminists just want us to kill ourselves

[@mgtowbooboo8530]

Men support women and hold them up. Men work hard to give women better lives. Women are all competing to see how much they can get from men.

[@kellyjessielisa8849]

Women don’t need men for anything anymore, so if you don’t act right we leave 😌

[@Richjunior1]

I now treat my women like a bowling ball. Stick 3 fingers in them, toss them down an alley and they come back for more.

[@kaz9242]

@@kellyjessielisa8849 haha. I guess in America women leaves as you said. Taking everything from a man through a process called devorce. But you do need men in general. The most critical and scientific works and the most labour intensive life risking works are also done by men. Thus keeping the society running

[@danielf.6770]

And its sick too

[@rani5083]

kellyjessielisa PERIOD QUEEN

[@JCDenton2012Modder]

I can't for the love of myself envision a future where I can have a good and stable relationship with a modern Western woman. All I hear and see from women nowadays is the desire for men for the sole purpose of personal gain at the man's expense. We are viewed as the disposable bain of Western civilization through no fault of our own. We are to be used, sucked dry like the victims of a vampire, and then discarded once something better comes along. And the worst part about it, we are expected to be "thankful" for this arrangement. Is dating dead. Yeah, it died with romance and love.

[@markigirl2757]

then date a granny she can make u food all the time and do all your chores lol

[@ashael6894]

@@markigirl2757 Thats a good idea!

[@maxhouse2409]

Men marry for love; women divorce for cash and prizes.

[@k1lay]

As someone who was recently sucked dry and discarded. I can confirm this.

[@ryans413]

JCDenton 2012 I always get asked by a woman what do you do for work. It’s always there first question like why should that matter. Sometimes I feel like if I answer that question they will then block me like wtf

[@Achilles94627]

Just because you're 'friends' with someone on social media, that doesn't mean you're close to dating them. It means next to nothing.

[@adammada511]

Dating is dead and women killed it.

[@jmsantos1983]

This is a real and global problem in the industrialized countries. Also, getting married is looked too risky. Is not only individuals but the people around us. Is crazy. Japan will not be the only country.

[@WastedTalent83]

i think japan will be the first to find a solution , because if they don't they will disappear in a few decades. Also i'm all for robots and virtual reality, wish the human race plummet in numbers really..

[@Itiswhatitis90]

i like video games and star wars more than i like girls.

[@Itiswhatitis90]

Arie Ravestein yeah i cannot stand children anyway

[@xexkansichi]

Star Wars? Really? TLJ? Really?

[@zisha01]

It's always good to love something.

[@neurohackstv5723]

Don’t think of relationships as picking crops of girls. But I see what your saying. I am obsessed with Warhammer 40k so I cant spend money on dates lmao.

[@wileyhoran1450]

@@neurohackstv5723 girls are temporary, the emperor is eternal

[@obtryce7070]

I Like having my money in my pocket and not giving out free dinner meals.

[@jrose1999]

Yeah I don't get how women Dont see that as soft prostitution lmaooo

[@candyxoxo19]

@@frednil8304 lol. Wow I never expected that. Thanks for the laughs. What type of man relies on being a foodie over having a posterity and leaving a legacy with his wife?

[@frednil8304]

@@candyxoxo19 It's basically a way for men to meet and dine with women without the female 'pay for everything' expectation. Wife/marriage is later (when he pays for everything, lol).

[@candyxoxo19]

@@frednil8304 You're funny. I get your point though. Basically he can go to places where women are going out to eat in groups instead of asking for dates. Then he can save💲. Usually it's like meet up groups and it's always way more women then men.

[@frednil8304]

@@candyxoxo19 Yes, and for whatever reason it is about 2 women to 1 guy ratio for many of the Meetup groups that I go to.

[@coldstreamer9574]

We have evolved, dating has evolved but not necessarily for the better. The “tools” at our disposal have skewed how we socialise, interact or in fact show interest in someone we’re attracted to. Social media has made us more impatient, we no longer have the attention span to stick with building or nurturing a relationship, social media/online activities have conditioned us to expect instant gratification (in many areas). Too many people live their lives online and don’t spend enough of their lives living offline.

[@van2063]

So true Honestly everyone is so caught up in their phones right now noone really cares about mundane things like "dating" anymore You go out and see people focusing on their phones in their own little bubbles, noone seems to connect anymore, it's sad

[@AxiomApe]

Vân Thanh Sad

[@katarinabrezovar7644]

Vân Thanh that's all great, but you need to know how your friends that are not in a relationship feal. I know how I feel when two of my friends always text their bf and they are not long distance. In my opinion, you should spend time with people when they are with you, no matter if it is your friends or you bf. You can alwasy call or text your bf when you come home all the time

[@van2063]

Emma Elissa oh i'm just talking about the majority of people nowadays and please feel free to exclude yourself if my statement is untrue Best of luck to you and your gf i hope u guys will go far

[@jagu1143]

since when was dating mundane? I'm 19 and I love dates. I would rather go on a date with my boyfriend then skim through social media. dating is not mundane. school/ uni is mundane, chores are mundane, work is mundane. dates, parties, catching up for coffee with your friends are not mundane activities.

[@van2063]

Ja Gu i was being sarcastic

[@MrShaneVicious]

MGTOW is winning

[@lur3950]

MrShaneVicious YES, IT IS AND CONTINUES TO GROW

[@lur3950]

Johnny P G F Y Have you come across that one?

[@lavinder11]

Y'all are still miserable.

[@Sigmanovar]

@@lavinder11 shaming tactics I see

[@temich1985]

Than why do you have a pic of chicks as your avatar?

[@robbiebalboa]

I think the fantasy of perfection has created fear. If it’s not perfect, they think they’ve failed. So we hold back on relationships that back in the day they committed to.

[@Changetheling]

You have a point.

[@dragonslair951167]

Yeah, that was an issue in my last relationship. My partner fantasized about a perfect relationship, and complained when she didn't get it, saying she didn't want to settle for less than perfect. I'm sorry, but if you won't settle for anything less than perfection, you're going to be searching for the rest of your life.

[@maxhouse2409]

Show me a perfect person, and I'll show you someone nailed to a cross. Too many people are letting "perfection" stand in the way of receiving "better".

[@yurihageshi8008]

@@maxhouse2409 I'll be happy to have someone pay attention to me for more then one text

[@getlostwithangelo]

There is no such thing as love for our generation. Our generation destroyed it 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@themilkman9412]

Get Lost With Angelo only in the western countries

[@karlangeloarcenas7626]

@@themilkman9412 not really but I'm in Asia men it slowly going downn there

[@jml19221]

Friendships are the same thing. There are things being done in friendships today that would be the end of the friendship 15-20 years ago.

[@majorpaindiaz]

*facts*

[@sampleowner6677]

We are in the text generation. Talking on the phone is seen as a chore now days. How do you build a relationship with text massages?

[@77Catguy]

He completely ignored the MGTOW movement in his presentation and the reasons why many men are avoiding marriage and even dating to begin with. Our laws are in serious need of reform in order to encourage the kind of stable relationship that would be best for all.

[@77Catguy]

@@Entrenched Mgtow I couldn't agree more as far as the current power structure and their propagandists--the mainstream media and entertainment organs--are concerned. That said, they have no future--although that is part of the design of the elitists as well. No society which is as anti-children and anti-family as ours could possibly have any future. Those who advocate on behalf of such values are tools employed to undermine and collapse our societies so that the elitists can reconstruct them for their purposes--and their purposes only. The "brave new world" is not far off--unless enough people come to their senses and oppose such.

[@Richjunior1]

as mgtow grows, gold diggers go broke

[@davidbolha]

@Strongj Spreading the disease. 😉

[@maxhouse2409]

@Strongj They (the MGTOWs, red-pillers, etc.) are looking for education to avoid being financially and emotionally taken advantage of. An example of this is "dinner whores".

[@awake5650]

Ive been on so many dates, hooked up with so many girls, spent so much time and money....all to still be lonely. As a 25 year old male im now realizing being alone is a beautiful time where you can truly get to know yourself, stop looking and the right one will find you.

[@joshuacashen7289]

Dating Is Dead Because it is so Hard to Find & Meet New People! Everyone is at home watching Netflix & posting about it! SMH

[@t_challathagod172]

Trust me you don't want someone in your life who loves being cooped up in their apartment watching Netflix and worried abort Instagram likes

[@BoundyMan]

This is not just Millennials. I'm a Generation X, or Xennial, and I'm in the same situation.

[@paulcooper5748]

True me too.

[@rifletwist]

Dating is dead for one reason and one reason ONLY...Women continue to devalue, discredit, and chastise men socially, politically, and emotionally. Men in response have made the choice to not treat women as having any value to be courted.

[@Drums_of_Liberation]

So hiding from women like ball less cowards and trying to pass it off as a movement totally makes it better?

[@westekforest1712]

@@Drums_of_Liberation to walk away from something does not mean one fears something.

[@Apaphis]

Dating is dead love does not exist and we don’t need each other anymore. As far as companionships go I’ll buy a robot.

[@ChristinaOstil115]

You need Jesus Christ first.

[@DarthVader-yi3gq]

You can buy a japanese doll lol

[@koolhwhip2957]

So god isn't real? In that case imma rob all of you

[@nickt1262]

Want a true friend? Get a Dog! :)

[@frednil8304]

Hypothetical: Lock your girlfriend and your dog in the boot of your car for 15 minutes. Open the boot of the car, which one will be glad to see you...and which one will want to bite your head off? Get yourself a dog.

[@snoopybishop]

I found love in a hopeless place. You guys can too. Just have faith.

[@bucketfoot5306]

Having faith is worse then having cancer. Its better to not depend on another person for your happiness.

[@clarityjj3115]

farrius dean gayyyy

[@snoopybishop]

Jonathan Briano thanks for the compliment

[@clarityjj3115]

farrius dean you're welcome , srry for being childish.

[@snoopybishop]

Jonathan Briano it's ok. I saw it as humor anyway.

[@mrrandomdude4291]

WHAT IS LOVE? baby don´t hurt me

[@dezmondboudreaux8913]

Don't hurt me no more

[@extremotionaltrouffas]

ahahahahahhahahahaahahaha.

[@WastedTalent83]

Even the songs say its women fault and that they hurt man ahhahaha

[@dissonantiacognitiva7438]

Women killed it 🤣 Now there's no point in it, might as well just screw around

[@bananian]

I'm so lucky I'm single. I feel sorry for the men in a relationship.

[@KellySmith555]

Can't speak for others, but I can speak for myself. I'm not interested in sex, in fact, when I see a man, I think of all the other things that come in relationships, conversation, sensitivity, handholding, hugs, and going out, getting together, and just hanging out....in other words. Dating. I don't get in a relationship for the goal of sex, therefore its not instant gratification for me to seek that and nothing else. I can't say I'm the average person, but the fact that I exist means dating isn't dead.

[@kemunapeace2441]

If you can find that in dating then good for you. There are plenty of us who relate to that but can't find the men who will do it with us.

[@zairagutierrez7538]

I thought I was the only one who felt like this.

[@DieterBuys]

That's fine if that's how you feel, but essentially what you're describing is a female getting her needs met and the male not getting his needs met. Most men aren't going to want to sign up for that.

[@lhoyt2886]

Dieter Buys She can get cats.

[@Kemkem-it]

You are asexual 😂

[@philipgraham2904]

Ok, I'm 17 and I far prefer it if someone called me instead of texting - talking to someone is far more interactive and personal. Also, dating isn't dead (ish). I met a girl at a party and asked her to go out on a date IN PERSON (she said yes btw, it went well :)). I think the older generations over exaggerate how a lot of millennials interact these days.

[@philipgraham2904]

Arie Ravestein how on Earth is that end of discussion, engage in conversation instead of acting like a child

[@hanagreg]

Philip, I suppose he reacted like that because you are not a millennial. Google millennial before you answer me.

[@JivanPal]

+Gergana Hristova In the context of this discussion, "millenial" suffices to refer to all people born from, say, 1990 onwards, does it not? Those familiar with technology, and who wouldn't have many (if any) second thoughts about alternative forms of dating/meeting new people.

[@hanagreg]

In any context: Millennial - a person reaching young adulthood in the early 21st century. It's from 1982 onward according to some sources. Also offtopic, I understand it's normal for a 17 year old to think like that, but, dude, people 20 and 30 years older than you are still familiar with technology. :D don't mean to be rude

[@philipgraham2904]

Stuart Hollingsead wtf is a car phone 😂

[@stayclassic2361]

It’s more than technology and smart phones. Broken homes, slanted divorce laws, societal rejection of biblical/religious teachings, pop culture and music. When you got crowds of 10000+ people going crazy singing along at concerts to songs about side hoes and depression then there’s clearly something wrong. At its core we have a spiritual problem in our culture and the problems that causes for dating are side effects. We have people out here who don’t even love themselves complaining about other people not loving them right...

[@TakashiNippon]

its dead dead dead. hookup culture.

[@BrandonSeattle]

the woman chooses the man, that's it. he let chicks off the hook. it's not based on the man. chicks killed it.

[@chadthundercock1399]

Guys...enjoy the decline.

[@mizmusiclorikeetakakaral8142]

"If dating is dead, then who's to blame?" Well, I'd say, whoever invented Tinder....

[@the_letter_b]

@Angry Buddhist Most techies are Libertarian (capitalist) or apolitical, they're just less likely to be socially conservative (but not socially progressive either).

[@dranzerjetli5126]

Blame the womem

[@deyahdn3]

@@bladebison What makes you say that MGTOW is working? A sincere question.

[@XHitsugaX]

@@deyahdn3 well for one guys dont sell themselfes under their value and putting women on a pedastal for their happiness.

[@JamesJames-gc2kl]

the people who use the platforms are the ones to blame. if people quit all the apps, the apps would all collapse within a month. it's just a classic Tragedy of the Commons. combined with a sprinkling of the Gulag Archipelago. there's no "master jews behind the curtain, controlling society" there are only individual people, who repeatedly choose to sell themselves a short term lie instead of standing up for what is authentic and real.

[@karolinasocha-dusko2610]

Makes me feel lucky to be approaching 40 and really worried about the future of humanity.

[@brandonmorris9729]

do you know that in England if your unattractive and talk to a woman who doesn't want to talk to you, that you can be charged with a hate crime

[@brandonmorris9729]

how do you know what my view of women is? you dont! i was simply pointing out the irony of women in the uk complaining why guys dont ask them out, its because they can be arrested for doing so

[@arcticjoeya6622]

Wow is that true?? MAN TALK ABOUT DOUBLE STANDARDS

[@Makaprimewe]

is that actually true? LOL

[@leigh9807]

that's not true...

[@deyahdn3]

Do you have a source on that? A cautionary example with at least a bit of documentation? A sincere question.

[@googlebarbaralernerspectre2581]

I'm done with dating and marriage. MGTOW :)

[@danielf.6770]

@Mr X Ha Ha Ha!!!!

[@demonreturns4336]

Plot twist.... it’s a man who became a woman and now wants to be a man again

[@lifeafterhashimotos]

I’m an old fashion millennial and I can’t stand how dating works today.

[@vapeking466]

Yep it's sad. It's nearly impossible to find a quality partner nowadays or at least for us men.

[@thelastninja4825]

love is dead, being replaced by needs and goals about a decade ago, good luck to you all

[@shockinvybez6623]

MGTOW

[@thesummaryguy3911]

2007 happened. Social media caused societal stagnation.

[@swiftkarma4436]

Eliminate all narcissists and I will be glad to get back into the dating pool

[@randyvanvliet226]

"The man you deserve"... and dating.... what a sense of self entitlement for women. No wonder they are screwed up.

[@thecitizenjoan]

The problem lies with this idea that people are like the latest fashion trend, exciting to be obtained then dropped and given away when something better comes along. Us young people need to remember that people are not like that. People are not like their Instagram feed constant smiles and happy moments. People are not static. We are dynamic, we get angry, we cry, we fight, we hurt other peoples feeling sometimes, we'll will hurt yours, but at the same time, we can make you happy, we can make you feel like life's worth living as well. You have to find someone who's worth being loyal too through the good times and the bad and not give up on them when times get hard. You shouldn't just say this person hurt me I'm gonna find someone new. If someone is worth it stick with them, forgive them and ask them to forgive you. Don't swipe them right out of your life. Practice being more loving more forgiving. Don't take relationship advice from trap music.

[@DonovanAenslaed]

Well said miss, well said. 🤘😏

[@Azrael999]

Online dating did not make the world smaller, we still don’t date people who lives 80+ miles away. It just gave us an illusion of abundance.

[@davidbolha]

Excellent choice of words m8 ! 😎✋🖒

[@stevet6665]

For the most part, dating sucks for guys anyway . . .

[@tonika7543]

The kind of love that used to be romantic dinner, movie nights, traveling together, and spending quality time of getting to know each other is all faded and gone. This dating these days is more like fwb.

[@Galimeer5]

If the key to long life is meaningful relationships, it's no wonder why people avoid meaningful relationships.

[@JRich165]

Galimeer5 🤣🤣🤣🤦🏽‍♂️

[@danashaw8463]

I get depressed when I so-called date. When I stay to myself my mood is stable. I hate it!!!!

[@davidbolha]

Depends on how old you are.

[@e.l.norton]

Millennials exist in a world of instant gratification coupled with horrendous social and communication skills and an absence of work ethic. As soon as something isn't "fun" anymore, they lose interest and that's it. Because everything is supposed to be fun all the time to them, as though they're pre-schoolers. Related to that is the fact that most of them are utterly undeveloped as human beings. All their energy goes into perpetuating a social media persona that's really just a paper thin shell devoid of all substance. They view themselves as "brands" rather than people. And, as any brand is, they're all disposably the same and of no value in a real relationship.

[@CodHumors]

"bsence of work ethic. As soon as something isn't "fun" anymore, they lose interest and that's it. Because everything is supposed to be fun"... I'm going to counter this argument with we have been taught from a very young age that we have to be great at everything we do. The reflection of 'being great' is seen in entry level job positions. If a job no longer is offering quality work that helps you grow, then there is no point. We have been psychologically conditioned to believe we have to be continually improving, if we aren't we are failures.

[@amandafey]

Yeah..... I think I'll just stay single. I'd rather not bother and waste my time on today's silliness.

[@beazrichz973]

Great choice! But remember to eat healthy.

[@endthefed1448]

Yup, both men and women should go their respective ways

[@ibetternotseeyousimp556]

Same. Alot of people see lust before commitment

[@charlesthompson9889]

Its game over. Finding a good woman these days is proving very difficult

[@rani5083]

it’s game over. finding a good man these days is proving to be very difficult.

[@bmfitzgerald3]

@@rani5083 @Charles you two should date

[@silentthriller]

Whether dating is dead or not, I don't want to do it. I can find more useful things to do. More entertaining.

[@ShinkuGouki]

Everyone is lonely, depressed and heartbroken. Most of the girls I talk to are depressed because their true love failed. They are emotionally unavailable. They seek happiness in dating random dutes. I wish them happiness.

[@ashtonariel9086]

Dating is dead! Our ego has killed dating. Technology has made humans feel so superior that they get joy in rejecting / dumping someone. And that is why nowadays prospective relationships never go beyond first 2 "dates".

[@jonesameal1798]

Dont blame technology. Feminism and liberalism killed dating.

[@clairegordon2109]

True I cant get passed 2 dates

[@JohnVieiraact]

People put more importance on their phone these days, than in the human being that it is in front of them. Strong relationships mean for us to put intentional time with purpose to make relationships strong and meaningful... Blaming your date for not being in "your Zone" when you paid more attention to your phone than him/her i's very much steering away from your path before you get to the first real test. Or like my grandma used to say: You don't like my soup? How can you say that nonsense without trying it? Stop saying that nonsense already!! taste it, and them you can say whatever you want! (she was a fantastic cook, btw....so we always ate her delicious soup :)

[@jeffreystern5886]

I'm convinced that women today aren't interested in dating. I believe that women accept dating invitations to get free dinners and then add up the number of dates to compare notes with girlfriends to see who got the most.

[@BenDonahower]

though i think there are some redeeming qualities of this video, like when he said "building a life." a lot of what he said, however perpetuates the me-first attitude that makes meaningful relationships challenging in our current culture. things like: "meeting like minded people" "finding someone that deserved our..." and "create relationships that have the capacity to increase our quality of life and that's what dating is supposed to be about because that's what life is about." look, if you're looking for someone that 'deserves' your attention and stay with them because they are like minded and improve the quality of your life, good luck. big picture, marriage does increase your quality of life, but when you're in the trenches, there can be long periods of time where it doesn't feel that way... that's usually when people bail. when you're with someone for any length of time, you change and the other person changes and you change together. being like minded is at most a temporary position.

[@gfunkin2]

Heavy on platitudes and cliches, light on real actionable steps to navigate the modern dating market. The dating coach industrial complex is real

[@finngrant234]

98% of Ted talks and coaches say a lot and offer zero tools to overcome the things they speak of.

[@dannytetreault]

A woman is only faithful as her options.

[@2ice715]

I no longer have that problem. MGTOW

[@louiscyfear878]

*_I just love it when college-educated men gives out relationship advice._* •They'll never say that women are judging men on their social capital. •They'll never say that women have raised the price of female companionship beyond what some men could afford or even tolerate. •They'll never say that men have become disaffected cynical and opportunistic in the face of a rigged game that's not in their favor. • They'll never tell you that your height is the reason why women are ignoring you. Nooooo... It's all "look at me, I'm a Unicorn!!" *_♡Buy My Book♡_*

[@HolTukIj]

Louis Cyfear This guy gets it.

[@cryora]

Read The Red Queen by Matt Ridley. He will literally say all of those things and more. He will even go out and say harems are characteristic of many historic societies, where a few men do all of the mating, and that royalty marry 1st cousins to concentrate power by heredity. He goes into subjects average people find uncomfortable. He's also an Oxford Professor of Biology. I don't get a commission by recommending his book. I recommend it because I actually think it's freakin awesome sick and that other people should read it.

[@cuiet16]

Ive always had crushes on short guys... lol Maybe you are talking to the wrong women. You will have to look at what the woman values then go from there. Dont put us all in one group. We are not all the same. Also ... dont try to get into her panties soo quickly and you get bonus points lol

[@cuiet16]

I see :) I agree and think that women should do the same. However, when I was in my 20's I did enjoy dating and getting to know exactly the kinds of things I liked and disliked. I was in a 4 year relationship with a man who treated me amazing but we grew apart. Different experiences are great teachers and they helped me know EXACTLY what a want now in my 30's now that I do want children and marriage. I'm just "old fashioned" like that lol To each their own i guess...

[@papillonnoir3747]

Louis Cyfear -men judge women on their looks -men withold commitment -women are cynical and tired of being used for sex -men reject women who are overweight theres enough blame to go around here sir. everyone is just tired of each other at this point. lol

[@Stephan2P]

A small circle of family, friends, loved ones is all you need. “Meaningful connections “. Got it. Lesson learned.

[@georger6624]

So many young men are are from homes without a father and are angry,

[@abusername1270]

@NightWolf very true

[@LifeLikeSage]

Here I was thinking he was going to redpill the audience.

[@dezmondboudreaux8913]

I watched the whole video but don't think anything was really said...just "have meaningful commitments if you don't want to die young" and I'm here single and lonely thinking "gee thanks"

[@adongoa]

"Hello? Are you dying? okay hang up and text me." So true. okay let me finish watching this

[@yordlop]

Just checking in: did you finish watching this? Was there any part that struck you more than the bit you quoted? It's been over a year now since I inititally read this comment and frankly, I'm not sure what to think.

[@SunnyDoesLife]

😆

[@JiyuKishiParn]

I don't like being called because it's usually some sort of telemarketer.

[@askaboutRudyV]

Yep, and women killed it! Red pills for ya, MGTOW.

[@davidbolha]

You mean the Rockefellers ? Women are just weaponised pawns. 😉

[@majorpaindiaz]

@@davidbolha deflecttion