How Apologies Kill Our Confidence | Maja Jovanovic | TEDxTrinityBellwoodsWomen

[@professormaja6624]

Thank you to everyone who watches this!! Thank you to the positive comments! I know apologies won't cure sexism, racism, transphobia or ageism. I know this. But I also know that apologies hurt our confidence. And if you only get ONE thing from this HIGH-energy talk (it's a lot of Maja coming at the screen!!) and that one thing is to start OWNING your space, or recognizing your value, or you start appreciating your accomplishments, then I have done my job. I am obsessed with getting people off the apology train.-- If the only thing you like from this video is how to switch out apologetic lingo for confidence-boosting lingo, then I have done my job! -- I am obsessed with learning and researching everything I can to get us out of COMFORT ZONES and reminding ourselves of our greatness. Say THANK-YOU to yourself more often. By the way, sequins is one way I wear my confidence!!

[@georgejetson9801]

I love the suit! When I realised how we women are conditioned from a very young age to not make waves, be quiet and pleasant, defer to others, (especially men) I started reminding myself to just stop; and over time, my language changed... as did my daughter's...and so did her daughter's.

[@raspberrykiss01]

@dev0n james what???

[@raspberrykiss01]

@dev0n james out of respect to the speaker since this is a comment of hers I will not continue entertaining this series of absolutely discriminatory comments. But thank you for sharing your feelings!

[@professormaja6624]

@@georgejetson9801 thanks so much for watching my first TEDx talk and for commenting. IT's true, over time we can change these habitual speech patterns we can switch out "sorry" for thank you. So glad you're spreading the word and helping more women to get off the apology train and own their accomplishments.

[@ShemoeIzeckson92]

Thank you for bringing up this topic. In my country, we use sorry just to be see as a polite person. And i just realize that makes us unconfident in everything,. Btw, since i want to spread this message, Can i make this topic become my Thesis?

[@stevebrown8924]

Maja kills it in this TEDx Talk - very proud husband

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks Steve!

[@robynkahle7240]

Steve Brown it’s amazing

[@charlottembabazi6757]

You're a lucky man

[@CelebrityCharityTV]

She surely damn did!!!! I love her!!!

[@sunset33533]

The mindfulness book "30 Days to Stop Apologizing" by Harper Daniels is helpful.

[@charlottembabazi6757]

First of all, THANK YOU for wearing that suit!!!!!! It's beautiful.

[@professormaja6624]

:) Thank you Charlotte! I appreciate you taking the time to watch my talk and for the compliment. I love sequins!

[@charlottembabazi6757]

You're welcome. I thought I was the only one that loves shiny things. Clearly not. 🤗🤗🤗

[@Nadi3Jay]

Love it!!!!

[@akbp8088]

I'm a serial apologiser with rather low self esteem and I'm fed up of hearing myself apologise!!!!!! Loved this, you're really engaging and fun to listen to, thank you!!!!

[@you54tube56sucks]

I am a Taoist and I get angry if someone apologizes to me, I am angry they insult themselves with the need to apologize. I take none and give none because we are who we are and our purpose is just that.

[@kristinedanton1014]

I was so fortunate to have had Maja as my Professor at McMaster last term. The confidence that she helped me find within myself has changed my life and career path for the better.

[@professormaja6624]

Wow! That's such a lovely message to read Kristine, thank you so much for taking the time to write this message of support! I appreciate it and I'm genuinely thrilled that I, or the course material positively impacted you in any way. And thanks for taking the time to watch my TEDx talk!!

[@Light-cy1gp]

wow thanks for this lesson👏, i even got into the habit of apologising to people who wronged me, now i feel so powerful

[@MTran0708]

Nice next time when I'm late for work I'm gonna tell my boss 'thanks for waiting'

[@danielswarovski6462]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@pyr1th1one53]

Lmao

[@selinayaqinxie6514]

I love Maja's style and love what she said! She is demonstrating the confident way she promotes!

[@professormaja6624]

Thank you so much for taking the time to watch my talk, and for posting this lovely comment Xie!

[@TheLuag1]

This woman almost made me cry. I love her strength.

[@professormaja6624]

Thank you so much for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk on apologies and for this lovely comment!

[@karolmoore1076]

This has made a profound impact on my life, both professionally and personally. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. 🥰

[@nataliagallego8516]

Professor Maja always brings such tenacity in her energy and message for empowering women! Words can have a major influence on our emotional state, it can even affect our neurochemistry, which results in influencing how we behave, and altering our perceived reality. Since not everyone has access to a professional in order to dig deep to find the root cause for low self confidence, implementing positive words and eliminating the unnecessary (depending on the context) and debilitating use of saying “sorry”, can be an impactful way to boost your attitude and behaviour towards a more self confident person.

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks so much for watching my talk and commenting Natalia. I appreciate the support. I agree, we need to eliminate the unnecessary *(depending on context) apologies. I want more women owning their accomplishments and getting off the apology train.

[@meetajain714]

Thank you for raising awareness on this subject. Profuse apologizing is truly self deprecating. Your talk is so bang-on Maja!

[@professormaja6624]

Thank you Meeta for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk on apologies! I appreciate you leaving a comment.

[@ankitasuthar8989]

I would like to thank myself for listening to this amazing video and the message woven in. Thanks for the entire (start to end) team.

[@sarniamanager5004]

Congratulations Professor Maja, I have seen you speak at The Power Of the Purse, London, Oct 2018 and Sarnia. Because of your Keynote you inspired me to become Keynote Speaker. You are amazing and you ROCK!

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks so much for watching my TEDx talk Candace, and for commenting. I'm glad that my message resonated with you!

[@MeeLii2024]

Love this. I've worked in male dominated professions all my life. After one of my last projects I bluntly said to my male co-worker "I deserve a award for doing this" 2 weeks later I did get an award from my boss. In addition, I told a hiring manager that I was worth my weight in gold., I got the job.

[@professormaja6624]

Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to watch my talk and for posting a comment. I laughed out loud at your comment of "deserving an award for this", (wanting to high-five you) and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you UNapologetically owned your value/contribution/accomplishment. We don't do this often enough.

[@79lpcustom]

Good for you. Glad you had a receptive audience. I have tried using the same tactic with wildly differing results! Context is everything...

[@professormaja6624]

@@79lpcustom So true. Even when I use the tactics I describe in the video, context really is everything. Tone of voice and use of humor, all matters. Thanks for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk and for commenting.

[@lightonstillwaters6789]

@@professormaja6624 sorry, did you mean "unapologetically" instead of "apologetically"? (the "sorry" is to tease you or to assert my right to say it 😏)

[@professormaja6624]

@@lightonstillwaters6789 Hi! Thanks for catching that error. I just edited my answer to show that it should be "unapologetically"

[@KARENK72886]

Oh my life, I needed this, thanks Professor Maja. Wake up call to me and to no doubt, others.

[@saees8957]

This is so true... I didn't even realise I was apologising and I payed attention for one day and I say sorry for literally everything! Thank you, Maja!!

[@professormaja6624]

Hello Saee, thank you so much for taking the time to watch my TEDx talk and post a comment. Once you're aware of apologies, you really start to hear them everywhere you go. I'm not trying to get people to stop apologizing completely, but to be aware of how often and for what reason we're apologizing so much.

[@padmapriyadasarathy]

Phenomenal!!!! I will listen everyday early morning until I habitually change my sentence starters. Thank you for the wonderful Ted Talk. Mainly I felt I'm not the only one but I will work on this.

[@judiBOONE7]

I am saving this and will share it to every woman I so admire that says ‘I’m sorry”! Ugh! I was doing the same thing! thank you!!! Thank you!

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks so much Judi for watching and sharing my first TEDx talk!! So many of us have these habitual ways of communicating that undermine our worth. I'm so glad you're helping to get more women off the apology train. Thank you!

[@prateeksprayogs]

Just finished the book Lean In. So many references I can see. Great context great confidence I think you are just shining like your dress. Best Pallav

[@jennifercoe2494]

I stumbled across this video, and I am extremely thankful that I did. Everywhere I go I am apologizing before I even know what I am saying, and you're correct about what it does to your self-image. Luckily I have a boss who always reminds me of my worth, tells me that I know way more than I give myself credit for, and to own that - to walk with confidence. Until now, I was unsure pf how to just suddenly gain confidence, or how I even got this way. It felt like a plagued way of thinking and being, and that plague had seeped into my veins - like I would always be this way. It has been overwhelming and defeating. This talk hit home. Apologizing is something we can catch ourselves doing and transition to different terminology. I'm excited to try the wording you've encouraged using, and I'm excited to see how this affects my confidence. It's time to stop apologizing, transition the way I carry myself and how I speak to others, and to own my successes. Thank you thank you thank you!

[@professormaja6624]

Hi Jennifer, Thank you so much for taking the time to watch my TEDx talk on apologies. Thank you also for posting such a heartfelt comment. Apologies have become our habitual way of communicating, and we can definitely switch out our apologetic lingo for something more confidence inducing. Confidence is something that you build and work at to maintain, if your confidence has been diminished or weakened, you can absolutely build it back up. If you would ever like to participate in my new study on women's confidence and apologies, please reach out. You can find out more information on my website, and then click RESEARCH. Or you can see information on my IG ( at professor Maja) Thank you.

[@kathy-annwalker7322]

Really great message!!!.To acknowledge one's achievements as well as showing gratitude isn't at all at the expense of being condescending towards others, it simply is recognizing your worth and living accordingly.

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks so much Kathy!! I appreciate your support.

[@kingster99me]

Yay!!! Middle aged woman me has been trying to work on this exact issue. Most videos I’ve seen I have to listen to 15 minutes about the personal therapy the therapist went through before they get to the the point. Which just made me want to say “I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry your life was so hard.” “I’m sorry people made you feel so bad you needed therapy to be a therapist.” “I’m so sorry.” So… THANK YOU for getting right to it. You are spot on and your intelligence and wit is just right. I could binge watch for hours, in fact I might. (That wasn’t supposed to rhyme, sorry.)

[@AvitalShtap]

This is so so excellent. I can't believe we've been conditioned to feel this way! I had no clue that, when I was telling my fans, "OH thanks for liking the video, it took me a year and i barely did this and i still have to learn this" etc etc, I was just apologizing without saying the word sorry. Jeez, there's a way to be humble without putting yourself down. I had always thought that was a bonding thing between feminine people, telling each other secrets via saying "Oh that old thing?" or making fun of ourselves. But honestly that was just invented in order to keep the hierarchy in place for masculine people. This speaker has the most enthusiastic tone ever and she is so fun to listen to!!!!!!!!!! LOVE HER! PS This reminds me of the great Barbie video where she rants about apologizing!

[@professormaja6624]

Hi Mag Magnet! Thanks so much for taking the time to watch my video and comment. Absolutely, there is a way to be humble without putting ourselves down....there's no need to point out the negative (planting seeds of doubt where there was none to begin with). Exactly like you say, instead of alerting everyone to how long it took you to do the video, or learn this skill, you could just OWN the compliment, and not deflect praise. I have not seen the barbie video where she rants about apologizing. I will have to google that. Glad you liked my "enthusiastic tone" ....cuz' that was a whole lot of Maja coming at you through the screen! ;) Truth be told, I was like "damn did I really sound like that?! - I was amped UP!!). Thanks again.

[@ryangandelman2877]

Professor Maja Made me cry reading the transcription, then made me cry again during the video. Thanks for the great Ted talk! 🕊

[@whydream1]

@@ryangandelman2877 yep tears of sadness and laughter ....what a speaker🙌

[@FrancesMcIntosh1064]

I love this video. As a leadership coach I share this often with female clients. Thank you for bringing this to our attention and doing it in such a succinct and humorous way. As a passionate ‘thrifter’ I’ve stopped saying where I buy my awesome outfits and how much they cost. Thank You!

[@professormaja6624]

Hello Frances, thanks so much for sharing my TEDx talk with others. Ha! Yes, no need to tell people how much or how little we pay for our garments or deflect praise! (it's so common though!) Thank you for taking the time to comment.

[@keepingitrealwithemilie]

Wow what a powerful message! I’d like to thank myself for researching, discovering, listening, comprehending and utilizing what I’ve learned! I will be putting “thank you” and other fillers acknowledging others versus making constant apologies! I’ve always claimed to be a “humble person” because that’s how I was taught growing up… now I must unlearn to learn healthy habits for myself… MEEEEE!!! ❤ 🎉 I truly appreciate this Ted Talk, thank you!

[@hellyhe5558]

I love this Ted talk. I love the speaker Maja! Her passion and the way she talks. The idea of stopping apologies and own your accomplishments absolutely change my perception of communication with others. Not to make everyone feel good (or maybe not) by discounting myself. I'm the number one person responsible for my success and I own my success. I'll spread the concept to the young in my family and share with my girl friends. Again, thank you for the insightful idea.

[@professormaja6624]

Love the enthusiasm in your comment Helly! Thank you so much for watching my first TEDx talk and for commenting. I completely agree with you, we are responsible for our own success and we must be our own best cheerleader, we must believe in ourselves wholeheartedly and pump ourselves up. We've got to own our accomplishments and do everything we can to increase our confidence. Thanks again.

[@heshniphtaG]

I really love this! I'm watching it for the third time now, and I'm sending the link to it to every woman I speak to that apologizes habitually or if I feel they seem lacking confidence.

[@professormaja6624]

Hello! Thank you so much for watching my first TEDx talk on apologies and for taking the time to comment. I love that you're sending the link to others, I appreciate the support and want to see more women getting off the apology train!

[@raghdajaradat7235]

Wow, you're amazing! I love your speech. Many thanks for you're energy and this enchanting suit ♥ I counted how many apologies I did in the last three hours; more than 10; to the grocery girl, cashier, my husband, my mother, brother. Plus yes I'm always sorry for my own accomplishments I think being humble is an advantage for me. I believe it is time to stop doing this.

[@professormaja6624]

Thank you Raghda for taking the time to watch my TEDx talk and for commenting! I can totally believe that you apologized 10 times in the last 3 hours, because that's how common it is. I'm glad you're getting off the apology train with me.

[@elizabethcherevaty5202]

What a powerful inspiration! Professor Maja has given us a new permission (i.e. IMPERATIVE) to get UNapologetic as leaders, as people who ask for and achieve what we want. Thank you for ushering us into in the new age of the empowered feminine! It's time.

[@majajovanovic7886]

Elizabeth Cherevaty wow!! What a lovely comment, thank you 🙏🏻 so much Elizabeth for taking the time to watch my first TEDx Talk and for posting such a wonderful comment. I appreciate it. This talk of mine has taken off, and I am thrilled that the message of getting more women off the apology train is gaining strength. I want us to start owning our accomplishments and stop dimming our light. 🙌🏻💪🏻

[@professormaja6624]

Hi Elizabeth, thank you for watching my first TEDx talk and for taking the time to post a comment. I want more women owning their accomplishments and not dimming their light by deflecting praise. I want more women switching out "sorry" for thank-you. I want us to start thanking ourselves for our progress instead of cataloging our mistakes. Here's to stronger empowered women!

[@maryjunebrown]

Love this. Thank you! I have always wanted to be "ladylike" and polite and only in recent years have started noticing the difference in emails at work between genders. I never apologize in my email anymore. If something warrants an apology. I'll do it in person or over the phone. I also stopped using exclamation Mark's and happy face emojis in work email. I noticed men just don't do it. For a while, it was difficult for me. I felt uncomfortable...like the tone of my emails was rude or curt. But eventually, I felt more confident. Really glad I found this video. Thank you.

[@professormaja6624]

Wow, thank you so much Mary June for these kind words and for taking the time to watch my TEDx talk and post this comment. I agree with you, I was also including way too many exclamation marks (!!!) or emoji's because I thought my email was too curt (even though it wasn't) and I never, ever read an email from a male colleague that used emoji's and yet no one ever questioned it his emails were rude or curt. I wish you success on your confidence journey!

[@TheAngelina79]

Amazing speech and amazing confidence! I'm currently in Toastmasters working on my speech delivery, and you are GOALS! From the shy girl who couldn't even utter a word in front of more than 2 people :) Also, thank you for bringing this topic to the forefront and delivering in such an engaging way! You are definitely going on my role model list :) Third, I put forth a request to Athabasca University to look into adding you to their team (wishful thinking). Finally, I LOVE the hair!!!

[@professormaja6624]

Hi Angela, thank you so much for taking the time to watch my talk and for posting such a lovely comment. I'm genuinely thrilled that you're getting out of your comfort zone and practicing your public speaking skills with toastmasters. My whole entire WHY is to get more people taking action (instead of ruminating over their mistakes or doubting their abilities ) I want people to get out of their comfort zones and take action. Thanks for the compliment, my public speaking skills are completely attributable to practice, constructive feedback, practice, feedback and so on. After every talk I give, I immediately do a debrief about what worked, what didn't work, and then fix it, tweak it, and then practice it again. And when I mess up (which happens often), I don't dwell. Here's to getting more women off the damn apology train!!

[@yinyangwellness2045]

Great presentation! So very true! Will work on stop apologizing and saying thanks! Thank you! Joan

[@professormaja6624]

Thank you so much Joan for taking the time to watch my talk and for commenting! We're all trying to get off the apology train together. :)

[@oladaeyo]

Thank you. One of the best TEDx talks

[@highandmightyqueen79]

I can attest that saying sorry has completely disempowered me

[@tvmusinahama7655]

Thank you Maja for pointing this out to us women

[@matheusmilagres]

What a great speech! Such charismatic Professor Maja! Great topic. I'll apply the concepts, thanks for sharing!

[@snorreheimsund3404]

Thank you for a great talk!

[@PaulRussellexclusive]

Brought to mind, is 'Thank You' submissive also, when you know outright you're darned worthy..

[@devikagoyal745]

This is everything. Thank You!

[@whydream1]

Maja, THANKYOU for your presence and talk and making me see how amazing I am . I cried within two minutes of watching this as how true what you said how as women we often dismiss our accomplishments and minimize our experiences. You also made me laugh. So many lessons learnt. :-))

[@professormaja6624]

Hello Dreamaway1! Wow, thank you so much for this lovely comment and for taking the time to watch my talk! I appreciate it. If you would like to talk about confidence, apologies and deflection of praise, please reach out to me about participating in my new global study on women's confidence. If you go onto my website (professormaja dot com ) and click on "research" you'll see the advertisements for it. I chat with women all over the world over Skype, or Zoom etc and we talk about many of the issues I mentioned in my talk. Thank you again.

[@whydream1]

@@professormaja6624 would absolutely love to connect with you, yes 👍 . I am a woman (of diversity) building confidence in now creating my own reality and thanking me for my motivation to keep going . Thankyou for the opportunity Maja. 🙌🧡

[@ashibhargava]

Thanks for bringing this mistake and correcting it through a marvelous session. I was doing these mistakes especially in case of apologizing too much at times :-). It will definitely boost my confidence in day to day communication and especially in office work when I am working from home during these lockdowns.

[@avecherien]

This was painfully true

[@professormaja6624]

Hi! Thanks for watching my talk and commenting. It is painfully true for SO many of us, but we can start interrupting this apology train we're on. We can switch out this apologetic lingo for something more confidence inducing!

[@deepaswaminathan2342]

Excellent talk! Thank you so much for opening our eyes! 😀

[@올리버1349]

Was searching for Over Thanking.

[@inesbeatrizbrito2662]

AMAZING SPEACH! Love her style and confidence!

[@professormaja6624]

Thank you so much Ines for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk!!! and for commenting.

[@RachelHanson-f3f]

THANKS FOR WAITING!

[@nicbriseno1379]

This is almost identical in subject to an article in Psychology Today from about seven years ago (was gender-neutral.) It was a good read.

[@professormaja6624]

Hi Nic, thanks for watching my first TEDx talk and for taking the time to comment. I'll have to look up that Psychology Today article, thanks for letting me know about it.

[@vasudhapoddar3649]

Thank you professor . Really helped

[@professormaja6624]

thank you for watching my talk and for taking the time to comment! I appreciate it Vasudha.

[@DebraJMSmith]

We can be humble and still stop saying sorry all the time and actually say thank you instead and stop cutting ourselves down when complemented. These things really have nothing to do with being humble. When we are truly humble, we have no need to please others in order to get them to like us, because we are actually okay if they don't like us.

[@yournikt]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 This has added such value to my self-authoring mindset.

[@professormaja6624]

Hi Niki, thanks so much for taking the time to watch this video and leave a comment. Glad you're getting off the apology train with me!

[@anuanish4147]

yea....i lost my confidence for the first time in my life.....in front of my crush. coz i told him..."sorry, i love you"......🙁..now i feel pity of myself for saying sooorry....

[@mariannepheeb7921]

Thank you! But importantly also, id LOVE to know whos the designer of your fierce sequin blazer & pants you're wearing?

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks so much Marianne! I love my sequins. I got this sequin tuxedo suit at Maska Mode.

[@PatriotForThePlanet]

I love this. Thank you! Though, I LOVE the fact that I do not buy new clothes and get most via swaps or thrifting. Finding something secondhand is a positive achievement, so I tell those things to brag. :)

[@professormaja6624]

thanks for watching my talk and for posting a comment.

[@timi-2020]

I know that I have said these words, and most of the time I was apologizing on behalf of other people who work where I work because I felt like they would get mad at me even though I knew I wasn’t the one, but I was always apologizing for others, I will no longer be apologizing for my coworkers🤓

[@TeeRo617]

This was EVERYTHING!! Thank you!

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks so much for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk Tracey! And for commenting. Much appreciated.

[@marygraceque8040]

i have to disagree with not apologizing when late. there are people who are always late and dont seem to respect other people's time.

[@bonniebickett4520]

The more one adds excuses the more one convinces themselves their excuses are true! Just cut to the chase is what I say or "What's your point?"But she and I are redheads so we are bold women!

[@professormaja6624]

:) Redheads are bold, it's true. Thank you for taking the time to watch my TEDx talk Bonnie, and for commenting.

[@tofu64gamer]

I thought it was just me doing that.

[@professormaja6624]

Every time I give a talk about apologies, this is one of the most common responses "I thought it was just me", when in actuality it's SO many of us. We need to unlearn these confidence-killing communication habits, it'll take time, but we can do it. Thanks so much for watching my first TEDx talk and for commenting.

[@yunyunherbert6136]

How about flipping the behaviour changes the opposite way, appreciate the empathy shown by someone that says Sorry. Start saying 'thank you for saying sorry'. The consideration for others discomfort and thank you for your sensitivity.

[@ksbond7287]

I agree with many of Maja’s points, although the culture and vernacular of today will take some time to shift. I don’t agree that people should not be humble. Arrogance and haughtiness isn’t good for anyone and it can be diminishing. Being humble is awesome, and using power with grace is even more so. The commonly accepted definition of humbleness is defined in the MW dictionary.

[@sunset33533]

The mindfulness book "30 Days to Stop Apologizing" by Harper Daniels is helpful.

[@gabrielcordova9382]

I would also add that this problem happens to men as well, it happens to me.

[@jihadamcsween2677]

I have made sorry a part of my daily vocabulary.

[@ffireman]

VERY entertaining story teller!

[@professormaja6624]

thank you Terry!

[@littlesister7847]

I often find myself apologizing to people for having had the chance to go to a private school, or giving extra explanations for wearing a nice outfit (Like "yeah, I bought it in the outlet"). Once a middle school teacher told us to never apologize for having the chance to study in a private school, or for being financially stable.

[@christineboateng7584]

Loved this!

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks Christine for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk on apologies! I appreciate it.

[@wariaramaina8788]

Beautiful tips

[@PettyIshak-Bernard]

Society also expect women to be "more sensitive" to their environment and easily labelled insensitive or arrogant for not fitting in to the template imposed by both men and women. Time to stop the double standard and support each other to change the template, to confidently present ourselves as equals.

[@mettajennifer]

I was on a podcast where the two guy guy hosts were talking about imposter syndrome. They asked if I ever felt that. I said "Nope. Don't have that problem. I am confident in my abilities and experience." They were speechless! NOT SORRY.

[@professormaja6624]

Thank you for taking the time to watch my TEDx talk Jennifer. That's awesome that you're confidence in your abilities and experience, and that you don't deal with any imposter syndrome. I'd love to know how you built up your confidence. I'm conducting a new study on women's confidence and communication styles, if you'd like to participate in this please see my IG page where I've posted the advertisement for it. And you can find out more information there. Thank you. (IG @professormaja

[@domading2759]

I'm watching this as a result of trying to guide my girlfriend's 14 y/old daughter who literally can't speak a sentence without 3 apologies.. I've been trying to help her but she can't understand and I can't relate enough to make it understandable. She will say sorry 5 times in a 2 sentence text and then immediately send a follow up text that just says "sorry"

[@justballin91hitta14]

As a MALE I say sorry all the time, and get walked on daily. It’s a real problem I’ve been working on. We don’t need to make this a feminine thing.. Sorry ;)

[@constantineallen5107]

Wow, soooo true!

[@SanjaB007]

Hvala Majo :)

[@applejackzo]

This is GREAT!!!!!

[@amandavillatoro9900]

Loved it!!!

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks so much Amanda for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk on apologies! I appreciate the comment.

[@शनैश्वरअधापुरे]

I say thank you for your video after I thanking myself to watch this full video 😄😄

[@poojashri08]

Excellent!

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk on apologies Pooja!

[@poojashri08]

@@professormaja6624 Prof. Maja, you added such zing to it, thank you for taking care of our women friends. More power to you.

[@MJ-if3rd]

Hahah . I was just commenting that today with my friend that lm sick of that word "sorry " its been used for everything and very often and when its not needed.

[@professormaja6624]

Thank you for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk and for commenting. When you notice apologies and "sorry's", you really start to see and hear them EVERYWHERE! I can't go a few hours without hearing an unnecessary apology for something mundane.

[@marsysatala6471]

Yup, I am the ‘sorry’ girl 🤣 Ant it’s strange because I picked up this habit of apologising for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g (sorry for this overdramatised spelling 🤣) from women around me. I grew up in Poland where you would apologise if you were at fault or if you did something thst required an apology. But here in the UK, women constantly apologise for every breath they take, literally… I know another ‘sorry girl’ and I will share this with her!! She can say 5 sorry’s in one phone calling the customer who missed a payment and ignored our letter…!! Sorry for the length of this comment 🤣

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks so much Marsy for your comment! I appreciate that you took the time to watch my TEDx and to share your thoughts. You're right, so many of us over-apologize for everything, for asking a question, for needing clarification, or for not understanding something. We apologize just in case we might be inconveniencing someone (even though we're not). It's exhausting . In my current global study on women's confidence, I speak to women all over the world about their confidence & communication skills and culture, early childhood experiences, family unit, experiences of trauma, are just some of the reasons why we over-apologize. BUT, the good news is we can absolutely change our apologetic communication style for something more confidence inducing!

[@thatdragond6452]

Im a man and I behave exactly how you described a woman. :|

[@professormaja6624]

Thanks for watching my TEDx and for taking the time to comment ThatDragon. Not all women engage in over-apologizing and not all men avoid apologizing, it's true. In my research, I study women's confidence & communication styles and since it's an 18 minute talk, I didn't have time to get into the subtleties....but part 2 of my new study will be looking at how men communicate. Thanks!

[@thatdragond6452]

@@professormaja6624 Wow I really didn’t think I would get a response. Thanks!

[@adonttrip2109]

Wait no one got up and left?

[@minervaenterprises2392]

Whoop there it is!

[@vynnxa6416]

An increasing amount of dudes are always apologizing too. I've stopped doing that a few years ago... As a male it really helps, lost confidence leads to dangerous depression.

[@l.w.paradis2108]

Unfortunately, "sorry" meaning "I apologize," and "sorry" meaning "I regret that happened," sound like the same "sorry."

[@l.w.paradis2108]

Oh honey, just TRY not apologizing. If all of these women got to the top of their fields, they are already doing what they needed to do, to be where they are. I do prefer the choices Professor Jovanovic suggests, though. I use a lot of them, especially "thank you." But nobody likes me.

[@samar3634]

I love it💐🙏🏻

[@professormaja6624]

thank you so much for watching my talk and for commenting.

[@elalmadeuncolibri7313]

Every woman should listen to: I AM WOMAN a song for Emmy Meli

[@blackpaw3776]

Not fan of this message. Instead of trying to build up women to feel confident from the inside, she’s only telling them to stop apologizing. Which is like using masking tape to their problem so that way people don’t see them as insecure. If women are truly confident of themselves, they wouldn’t obsessed on how many times they say thank you or sorry. They’d just want to bring their point across (no matter if they use right words) and that’s it. Period. Her “solution” is to make yourself feel more important and to avoid being humble, but she doesn’t know that real humility comes from self- love.

[@CarlosdDP1968]

Love it :) very funny!!

[@79lpcustom]

'I'm sorry' is the most commonly used form of empathetic expression. It expresses courtesy and awareness of other's feelings and potential state. There is nothing antithetic about an expression of empathy/courtesy for others and a strong woman. On the contrary...I find approachable and empathic women some of the greatest leaders in the world...i.e. Madeleine Albright, Angela Merkel, Christine Lagarde, to name just a few...

[@Zetaraffix]

uhm... nope

[@bonniebickett4520]

I have a beautiful girlfriend and a guy would compliment her. She would blow them off. I told her to just say thank you and continue her day! Not all men are hitting on you!

[@fznwz]

Why not address why women apologize so much or say certain things? This is what the culture around them expect from them or else they are labeled with titles like “aggressive”, “bossy” or worse.

[@professormaja6624]

Hello Fauzia, thank you for taking the time to watch my first TEDx talk on apologies. You're right, there is a broader context involved in why women apologize. Since this was only an 18 minute talk, I didn't get a chance to discuss the broader implications around apologies or how racism, ageism and sexism all influence how often and for what reason women apologize. That's research that's also coming out of my new study on apologies. Thank you for your comment.

[@wariaramaina8788]

Thanks, av been a victim!!! Now I know.

[@mariumeplume9562]

The premice of this thing is "why are women apologizing all the time"... it could also have been "why are women the greatest drivers" or "why is Donald Trump the most important philosopher of our time"

[@hiredmuscle3049]

I dont get it, we Canadians are very confident

[@onefodderunit]

"sexism, racism, transphobia"

[@martinfoy8700]

I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner 🤣🙏🙏🙏

[@dignes3446]

I am sorry but I disagree. ;P

[@lancebeste9237]

Sorry but I found this very limiting and way over the top delivered in a hyped-up manner. Sorry has its place. For some people not just women it can become a habit. Lots of speakers use different ways of saying sorry at the beginning of their talk without even knowing it. Everybody has habits they aren’t aware of. It isn’t necessary to make a big deal out of it. The likely outcome of this talk is confusion for the listeners who become uncomfortable every time they say sorry even when it’s applicable. The statement “backed by research” doesn’t make something true. I know lots of men and women who say sorry when it probably isn’t necessary. My approach is to have a conversation rather than teach them someone else’s words. Over use of sorry is no different than the use of ums and ahs when speaking. The Cheeky Evaluator

[@HyperXism]

Did your wife's lover approve you write this?

[@lancebeste9237]

Has she got one? Are you on my planet or were you talking to another planet?

[@Zetaraffix]

...wrote the man