Living Life as an Exaggerated Figment of People’s Imaginations | Erika Jayne Girardi | TEDxPasadena

If it is easy to sit in front of the television or anonymously behind a computer screen, and pass judgement on a celebrity, presuming that every ounce of what is presented over the airwaves is indeed true, then it might be difficult to reconcile the fact that what we see on TV, and what exists in real life, might not actually be the same things. Could it be that “reality,” as it is billed to the consumer, is instead an intentional manipulation of the viewer? In this heartfelt discussion about the tangled web of identity, reality star Erika Girardi, discusses how, by her nature, she is soft spoken, sweet and shy. She admits to hiding behind her wealthy husband and prefers to curl up on the couch in her sweatpants above all else. But, as Erika Jayne, the playful over-the-top fantasy character she “created as an art project,” she becomes a blond bombshell for her fans; with major sex appeal and some fiercely outspoken wit. In this sincere and genuine talk, delivered straight from her heart, Erika wrestles with the juxtaposition of her warring identities...and seeks to find peace with who she really is.
A natural-born entertainer, Erika Jayne Girardi has raked nine #1’s on the U.S. Billboard dance chart. The Atlanta native is a New York Times bestselling author, cast member and fan favorite on Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and virtual character in the mobile app Kim Kardashian: Hollywood. She has also appeared on major network television programs like ABC’s Dancing with the Stars, CBS’s The Young and The Restless, and Paramount’s Lip Sync Battle. Erika has been seen on Ellen, Good Morning America, Nightline, Larry King, Forbes, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, and People Magazine. The blonde siren’s always-perfect hair and makeup - on-camera and on the red carpet - has made her a marketing target for the beauty industry, scoring Girardi high-figure partnerships with popular brands like TooFaced and Beauty Blender for Sephora. It’s hard to believe that with all this, Erika Jayne is just getting started… This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@giuseppesarto3657]

To those who didn't understand the talk: She is opening up about how we hide who we truly are (out of duty, or out of fear), and teaching us that true flourishing comes when we balance who we truly are with who we want to be. Beware of forcing things, beware of hiding things, and always be kind to yourself but also your family. It was a really simple ted talk, I'm not sure what's confusing about it.

[@mattb1568]

I think people wanted something to the point and she kind of danced around it and made you think. Good talk

[@TruthSeekerFORJC]

Aaaaaahhh, thanks for explaining !

[@bettywith2girls]

@DelmezaRane Why would you say that? She's just talking about that you should be all that you can be...and to ignore the naysayers. She's overcame a lot in her life as a child of a single mother. Snagging a rich husband was *not* a forgone conclusion, yet she got a job as a waitress at a high-end place where the rich guys hung out, did what she had to do (and also got lucky), and landed one so that she could lift her and her son out of that life and into a better one. She's written a book, did this TED talk, sung & danced with her own dancers and on Broadway, and is on a major tv show right now; most of which was made possible by snagging that rich husband of hers. Yes, Tom, her lawyer husband, has gotten caught lately with his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak, having several lawsuits and charges against him involving money...but you and I know, even if Tom eventually files for bankruptcy and Erika & Tom get a divorce (both have side significant others now, BTW)...they both will be all right in the end. Tom keeping his lawyer's license, Erika is still gorgeous, and with both of them funneling $$$ and on-the-side hiding/selling assets that all is going into the soon-to-be-ex-Erika's bank accounts (untouchable by Tom's creditors) for later use, they'll be just fine. Even if Erika has suits against her, there's ways to protect the money...these people are lawyers. Rich people always protect themselves and rarely lose it all. Even with a divorce, Erika will live comfortably and I bet will never have to hold a job ever again for the rest of her life. Not bad for a girl who was raised by a single mother and has a high school education. Good for her.

[@Controversy1100]

Did she mentioned on how to convince her ex husband to stealing from the law suit victims.

[@april-tui3524]

@@bettywith2girls ha ha, Tom lost his licence, Erika will lose everything they didn’t ever really have- as it was stolen.

[@catalinaortoljo2821]

It's now December 2020. And she and Tom are in hot water for, allegedly, embezzling. From the relatives of plane- crash victims. Not a good look.

[@gourmetthursday]

An even bigger “bamboozlement” than her first one.

[@catalinaortoljo2821]

@@gourmetthursday Amen.

[@michellemybelle2263]

Here from juicy scoop. This talk is madness, I guess TED is going the same way as Vice.

[@Keybumpz]

Same here! God bless Heather.. 😭

[@MrNikeSBs]

So first she was just hiding behind her husband, but now she's also hiding behind an alter ego...? What exactly did she overcome? She just admitted she is STILL not allowing to be her true self. She is a very interesting, dark character...

[@c.hudson8923]

The greatest bamboozlement of hers is to hide the fact that she's been living off the victims' money.

[@imflying2752]

It's all been recorded. Both in earthly and heavenly courts of law. Only one court will give righteous and eternal judgement. They can both choose to serve by repenting on earth, by confessing their sins, and coming to the FREE gift of Salvation of Jesus Christ (Romans 10:9-13). ~ OR not ~. Their actions, this day moving forward, will determine their final judgement in the Heavenly Courts of Law. ~ “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse" ~ I hope they choose the Free gift of salvation. None of us are promised tomorrow. 💜

[@cartierwhite_lasvegas]

Very true and sad

[@paulfrancisoneill7210]

Psychic: “you’re hiding.” Wow they already knew what’s up

[@ronnieroo227]

She forgot one word "you're hiding money"

[@imflying2752]

It was easy to create a 'repeat customer', on the Pychic's part, by divulging that. Psychics communicate with familiar spirits.

[@samarakiely2733]

Maybe the psychic was write but Erika had the time wrong.... she’s only just coming outta hiding so to speak..

[@sbellouk4146]

What ur husband should do was not stealing money from the victims that trusted him to get the money they need to survived!!! Tell that to your successful lawyer!! A simply crook!!

[@isahere7015]

This actually empowered me. I didn’t think it would, and I was just watching just because I was interested who she is, but when she was said that it was hard for her to be that character that she created, an aspect of herself and how her family disapproved, I felt that. I have the same situation in my home. I just cried in when she mentioned that. It struck home for me. I’m actually hiding who I really am just to make my family think I’m their definition of normal. It is no easy. But hearing this gives me glimpse of hope that I will be able to be myself - the person I am when I’m around my supportive friends. ✨💛✨ I wish her all he best in life, and I think that The Real Housewives show needs to show the better side of her.

[@whatarewedoing1057]

May you find the strength to let your amazing self shine bright! 🌟🌠

[@fakiola9184]

Mystéry Gold Star I hope you have a professional outlet alongside your supportive friends to provide you with sound advice for whatever it is you feel you can't show the world ... yet! I promise you whatever it is one day you'll get there but please don't leave whatever it is stay hidden for years, as cliche as it sounds life really can pass you by in the blink of an eye. You'll just end up feeling regretful that you left it so long so all you'll be doing is trading one negative emotion with another. Don't allow fear to hold you back in any area of your life it may sound easier said than done but I'm hoping you're young because the older we get the more life experience we acquire & things don't seem such a big deal as they once did. Good luck with living your truth only YOU can make yourself happy 🤗

[@yumyumkitty2104]

Mystéry Gold Star So, who is your true self? Maybe sharing it with your YT community will help you in some cathartic way. 🤷‍♀️

[@Hudpix16]

That’s great, now what you need to do is find an older man about 35 years older than you, with a lot lot of money and then you’ll be able to fulfill all your fantasies! You can do it !

[@luxxt.3408]

Certain points landed, and certain points she needed to elaborate more on. Do I wanna hear about identity crises from a wealthy person? Not really, but her story of hiding and then fusing her persona with her real self is relatable, and she was very well spoken about it.

[@angie4justice]

Spoken like a True Narcissist

[@azeei5448]

🤣🤦🏾‍♀️

[@drs2994]

👏👏

[@Cmc995]

She’s fabulous love her!

[@haute03]

This was actually pretty interesting. The idea of creating a character as a way to express a side of yourself, then getting swallowed up by that persona is really unsettling. We see it happen a lot with celebrities and now with social media regular folks like you and me are at risk of experiencing a similar thing.

[@cartierwhite_lasvegas]

It's hard to understand

[@GraceReport]

I love how much Erika does with her housewives fame!! ❤️

[@SK-ty8eh]

What she does is encourage an unsustainable, high polluting lifestyle that wouldn’t be possible without the exploitation of poor people all over the world. She needs to have a talk with Greta Thunberg

[@racp3476]

Osh Kosh What?! She is telling people to be true to themselves and do what they want -legally- that is the way to be happy. I am a huge environmentalist but love Erika too!!

[@SK-ty8eh]

Rac P There’s a difference between saying you’re an environmentalist and actually being one. I’m sure she even says she believes in global warming, but actually doesn’t care. People like her live a lifestyle that pollutes so much and for no reason other than luxury.

[@SK-ty8eh]

Rac P on another note, how did you get the word legally with the cross make through it? I can’t find that setting

[@racp3476]

James - I have no idea. I just saw that now when I saw that you had replied to me!! I honestly don’t know how that happened, it wasn’t intentional. I still love Erika - currently reading her book.

[@theresalwayshope5349]

I know people may think this is trite and narcissistic- but honestly, it’s about believing in yourself. Yes, her money helped, but nothing got her on that stage but her. It’s brave to perform for others. It’s brave to step out of the image people have of you, and be you.

[@soulsearchtarot]

Aint that brave. I used to do it all the time when out and about the city and people where staring, admiringly too, and I didn't care, was so much into the vibe and enjoying it and myself. If you're an xtrovert you do this on a weekend basis

[@haute03]

Exactly. This talk is very much about identity and becoming comfortable with all sides of yourself and your personality. This talk is just sharing insight into what it's like to grow into yourself and how difficult that can be for some.

[@haute03]

@@soulsearchtarot Okay? Your experience isn't one size fits all.

[@santinocala]

How was anything about this performance a departure from her "image"?

[@erikab3221]

She could of hid under her husbands money but she didn’t.

[@miguelpacheco2555]

I'm a very self sabbotaging pwrson and I believe it's because i havent reached out of my comfort zone. I am complacent standing in the dim shadows and I know thats holding me back. Inside im svreaming and dying to burst out. Thank you Erika, I'll put myself out there. I wont give up on my dreams and I will start putting action into my intentions. God Bless

[@rslily]

Maybe the alter ego she talks about here knew what her husband was up to? Those poor victims of horrendous circumstances. Stealing from a gas line explosion, plane crash victims and families 😭💔🤬

[@AnabananaBeauty]

I loved this talk. I feel like what I have taken from this is shes saying don;t hide, and dont hide behind a persona either. Be all of yourself every part of it let it shine, and live your true best life. And your never too old to do it either. Alot of people who experience fame hide behind an exagerated version of themselves to protect themselves and loose the real them. And then alot of people who arent famous, just living a normal everyday life, hide themselves behind being a wife, or a mother, or a student etc they never let the magic inside of them shine or do things they have always dreamt of doing. Their too afraid to. Erika I feel is saying she experienced both and has found a happy medium where she can live her best life but not get too caught up behind a persona that helps her shine with confidence.

[@eves5297]

Exactly.

[@jacada4891]

Lol you're response has not aged well

[@bonjakobsen]

If you stick to her message and leave her personal stuff alone. This is very educational spiritually. The struggling of being so you want to be, who people want to see and who your love ones want to see again. Thank you for sharing.

[@trance212]

Bon Jakobsen 👎

[@marygarcia456]

You can't be a thief and be spiritual at the same time come on man!

[@haleemahsaida9772]

Come on, you don't believe that ??? Her message is separate from her personal life of living off stole money??? STOLEN from Windows and burn victims !!! Bon you need to re-evaluate your belief systems.

[@iu.5146]

Nobody knows the truth but them. Living with a psychopath is a nightmare. Living with an attorney as powerful as Tom Girardi … I don’t even want to start to imagine. I divorced a malignant narcissist and I have an idea what she may have experienced behind closed doors. Some of it was visible on RHBH. She got herself into a pretty mess and she will pay a very high price to get out of it. If she plays her cards right she will get out of the situation financially broke but with her name in tact. She will have to start over from scratch. If I were her I would make things right with the victims and pay back what is owed. In a way it helps her divorce that Tom is being exposed for who he really is. Nobody would have believed her before. I bet it was even hard to find an attorney that would take on a divorce from Tom Girardi.

[@haleemahsaida9772]

@@iu.5146 she's no victim, gyrating her middle age backside on a mattress with other thirsty girls. Nope nope nope not buying what you're selling.

[@Cwgrlup]

“It came from a lot of hard work.” ... she means it came from a lot of stolen victim’s money. Shameful.

[@dionnedunsmore9996]

Nah....she said what she meant. She's not a liar, u have her twisted

[@MsWaitrose]

Its weird cause I would say she's still hiding, maybe now even behind 'Erika Jayne'. doesn't seem she's found herself really. Pray she finds confidence in just being her without the constraints of anyones expectations of who she should be.

[@jennilang721]

Yup. A time and place for everything. Crafting your personality, is like setting a table for different occasions. You can change out the plates, the centerpiece, the theme... but you've got to always have a nice, solid table underneath it all.😊

[@yagurla]

Being a woman, privately and in the public eye, is riddled with contradictions. Nothing is ever enough it seems. I respect her journey. My advice is to realize your true spirit as much as you can from the start, and never stray too far from there. Create a platform AND a life that allows you to be yourself and also both challenges & nurtures you to grow.

[@gypsyvanneraddict]

“Smatter of success…” ya pole danced at SHAKERS in Jersey.

[@tula1433]

🤣

[@hamidkouba6113]

Exotic dancer who did some extra & become the New " Pretty woman "

[@imflying2752]

Hard work, courage (?) and lots and lots of plane victims, fire victims and other victims money. Millions and millions of it. Its Xpensive to be her.

[@angel555b]

He had about $80 million in cash & stocks, bankruptcy courts state that their debts are just over $100 million (for now). She’s probably spent more $ than 99.9% of women in America & STILL seemed to be miserable. Just shows you can spend all the money in the world (almost lol) & still not be happy. Many of us have that hole inside that we can’t ever seem to fill but, dayum most people just overeat or drink a bit too much.

[@AnnieFlorida]

Erika for prison.

[@lemlancaster1775]

You rock. I totally relate....being shy and interverted but loving to be a bomb shell at 50 ....love you and your struggle...love your older manand your loving presentation and protection if this family you love so much....watching every move ....shine erica you are good hearted person.

[@evelyndaly29]

Ugh! What a fraud. Amazing what you can do with a large cache of other people's money. The psychic was right, she will be center stage. She will not escape her crimes.

[@Rebecca-br2mw]

More in response to some of the comments here than Erika's talk, but I always think about a quote I read a few years ago when I watch a woman who clearly has chased some amount of fame, money, and the fountain of youth speaking of her inner world. Something along the lines of, "you painted Venus for your pleasure, then gave her a mirror and called her Vanity." If this talk is insufficiently deep for you, maybe it's because the speaker has felt the pressure to be beautiful above all else -- above cultivating that inner world. Because that's where she was (and is) told by both men and women her value is found. And now we point fingers at her and declare "shallow!" when she begins to speak of what she has learned about herself. I didn't get much from this TEDx talk, but 1. I feel I can't fault her for this. And 2. I don't think it's bereft of introspection and wisdom.

[@karenhogan731]

I have never liked Erica as much as I do right now. Great talk! I’ve always seen little sides of her coming out through the show, the softer side. It’s beautiful.

[@andreaellerbeee]

Curious 2 yrs later what your take is now?

[@MissFaisa]

@@andreaellerbeee who is this woman? is there a link on youtube? or netflix? i really want to know what she & husband did , thanks

[@jorgethesitter127]

JAIL

[@annebonner9849]

Are you serious? I don't know if she has any real person in her. Dramatic pauses, the wink and point, or the voices she makes instead of emotion. But she's an angry, empty, and imperfect person who can't accept the ride is over.

[@yvettetorres7829]

"It is impossible to hide" Erika is hiding in plain sight now. Being on a reality show while your husband has transferred embezzled funds to your company must be the most exposure ever, there is no place to hide.

[@user-hj3sj2bc1r]

TED talk: marry rich

[@bettywith2girls]

Exactly...it works!

[@lumijones7316]

Ultimately her husbands money helped her famous. But i respect her in the sense that she is honest and straight. She is not afriad that she is not perfect... I like her personality.

[@Sarah-hu7iy]

She maintained being a wife to a powerful man. That's not an easy job. She's smart and calculated and shouldnt be undercredited. Balancing love and dreams isn't something that should be overlooked

[@ncwest1984]

I like how she made the connections. Erica Jane vs Erica Girardi Clark Kent vs Superman. It was really good, i was really surprised.

[@joyce7550]

hahaha

[@creativebrunette7742]

I think it's awesome she explored that side of herself she was afraid of and wanted to tap into. But there's much more to her and I hope she discovers it and doesn't back down from the journey.

[@callmepj4333]

She ain’t about that “back down life..

[@1beerman]

Raw yet polished at the same time. Very interesting talk!

[@MissValdostaFeedAndGrain]

Oh what a tangled web she and Tom wove😡😡😡😡

[@richeymayne]

I’ve waited months for this! Ever since it was announced she was going to speak. I’d have loved to have been in the audience. You did a great job Erika, there’s always going to be an Erika Jane inside of Erika Girardi & Some Erika Girardi inside of Erika Jane and I love that, it’s what makes you, you. As a huge fan, I don’t expect you to be on 24/7. A real fan will always appreciate there’s a normal lady behind the fierce alter-ego.

[@c.hudson8923]

She's miserable inside. No amount of cake, cosmetic procedures, cash, glitter, parties will hide that fact. She's an angry and frustrated person.

[@AyitaIam]

This is the tru tru

[@MissCane9]

I think so too,

[@AyitaIam]

@@NeonCherryBlossum she has a book Pretty Mess,but I don't suggest reading because it's terrible ,but suffice it to say she may have been born low or no empath. She makes it clear that she had trauma via her mother and that she always was just for herself with no loyalty to anyone because noone cane be trusted. She talks about how ,I believe she was like in 5th grade and she stole the lead role in a play from another girl with no regrets. If she wants it she doesn't care who she has to step on to get it..She makes it very, very clear she don't give two chits about anyone but herself. Sad really..

[@polly5961]

@@AyitaIam ..you call that a sociopath...

[@absolutelyfreestockshots1931]

Face it, she's a trofee wife.

[@Veromoi4]

I always see people on my Facebook who are miserable pretending to be so happy. Over compensating by posting every single thing they do.

[@stefankurlak9556]

Huge self of self importance

[@sandbach7195]

"so i STOLE it." Interesting verbiage.

[@andrew..89]

This has not aged well......

[@LunaNovaTarot]

That psychic in the first minute got it right “ you’re hiding . You’re hiding right now but nows a good time to hide because you’re learning but one day you will take centre stage”. Omg how ominous of what was to come .

[@annabelleharris1264]

Lol how true

[@MascaratoMidnight]

I did a review of her makeup collection and my exact words about her were: This is a character she plays. This isnt the real her. You know what? People dont know that! I know this was about more than that...but I hope people take that away too.

[@JamieRHubert]

‘The greatest bamboozlement I’ve ever accomplished’. That hasn’t aged well…..

[@michelthor4117]

This is why I hate Tedx You'll have anyone that is irrelevant. Have someone that really accomplishes something. Tedx bahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣😏😶😑🤪

[@violetfairies]

She married for money, and when things didn't work out....she figured why not use his money to jump start career. She wasn't hiding, she was plotting...

[@Keybumpz]

I wonder if it was snowing that night in Pasadena? 🤭

[@pinkpostergirl]

I didnt understand the point of this talk. I found it interesting, but I'm an Erika Jayne fan.

[@yochin8849]

the overall message here is to marry a rich man 30 years your senior, I think

[@sundaylass6828]

As a 32 year old Theatre graduate that had got lost in family life and duties this is just what I needed to see. 😍

[@tragedygoddess]

I adore her, but I'm very confused about what the punchline is of this talk. It seems like she's still trying to figure this all out.

[@chrisg2788]

shes is reading from a prompt b her feet.....

[@just_because7372]

Agreed

[@tragedygoddess]

@@chrisg2788 and?

[@kantarguewidit193]

Yes! I very much agree

[@mayaSpielman]

Same thought here !

[@ffs5225]

OMG everyone clapping like "She's so brave!" SHE'S NOT! She is overprivileged, ungrateful, arrogant. A waste of human resources.

[@MitchellWiggs]

1:50 that lifestyle has a high cost 😒

[@Jays6926]

@indigosigh well they’re getting a divorce. Apparently they cheated on each other multiple times.

[@bettywith2girls]

@@Jays6926 They are hiding money from any creditors and both have significant others on the side...I don't even think they live with each other anymore, even tho the divorce is amicable. They'll both be fine, when everything is said and done, and Ericka will walk away to a comfortable life.

[@Jays6926]

@@bettywith2girls I don’t think she’ll live a comfortable life. They just froze his assets. He’s getting constantly sued ( the latest is his business partner)

[@Cwgrlup]

Yeah- the cost of plane crash victims, burn victims, cancer patients... the list is endless.

[@lizzymelinda3450]

How to marry rich and get your husband to buy you a career. But if you can do it, more power to you.

[@cheyenne_spring]

This hasn't aged well.

[@MiaMixx]

TED. We need to talk...

[@carlamarie110]

Mia Mixx ,😂😂😂😂😂😂 love your comment . Best one yet! WTF was Ted thinking????

[@gnocchipesto511]

I liked the talk. So many of us are shy and lack confidence. Her message is inspiring. Stay true to yourself, it's never to late to be who you might have been.

[@ArioPhoenix]

That psychic was right…. She can’t hide anymore

[@kymimos]

I did not get the point of this talk..other than just maybe cashing another check. Which is not a bad point after all. Happy earning Mrs Gerardi.

[@JockStrop]

I understand that eveything is bout thinking outside the box and being innovative,however when i come to ted talks i dont want meh talks. i want education. and i am a EG & housewives fan. but this didnt teach anything.

[@gypsysoul4683]

Breazie If you look at it on a personal and spiritual level. It’s very inspiring. Especially for those needing a nudge to do what they want. Find themselves. Be authentically then! You’re trying to read too much into. As if it should be a doctor on stage giving us science based facts. It’s simply about a woman who wasn’t living her authentic self. Living only for her husband minding her P’s and Q’s around her husbands friends and colleagues. Not really living at all. It’s simple and a lot forget that.

[@claudine1384]

Everyone who speaks whether it be in a platform like Ted or a child talking about their toys or whatever it maybe - you have to see it as a tool to educate yourself because you’re not the one in their lives, how else would you know if you don’t listen and educate yourself about who they are?

[@Keybumpz]

Who else is here because of Juicy scoop?

[@pepeeltoro4570]

I thought TEDx was only about smart people .

[@007nadineL]

*THE DELUSION IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE. SHE REMINDS ME OF MY EX BOSS WHO BANKRUPTED ALL HER FRIENDS VIA A MULTI LEVEL MARKETING SCHEME.* .

[@vee9882]

If you are true to yourself, you don't need an alter ego. Putting your best foot forward doesn't mean you have a different persona! Working on ourselves is the best thing we could do for us, our family and our community.

[@joyce7550]

i never thought that my guilty pleasure would merge with something i'm proud of watching...

[@grantev1199]

2:22 Girl, you tellin' on yourself lmaooooo. Started young!

[@Hoswendt]

TED talk as an SNL skit.

[@Meowlinaax]

I though you were meant to learn something from ted talk... I felt my brain cells dying

[@mjgreenidge]

That's a great talk!!! Learned a lot about the faces we wear depending on the roles we are playing... Good for her!

[@Marta-dn7qs]

Now we found out how she has been paying for her artist persona.... five the money back to the victims

[@kimandcaffeine5999]

And now she says she knew nothing. Not even how to deposit a check. She said on the show she knew so much about law she could probably pass the bar. But now she says she was a shiny housewife that knows nothing about business and her “business” made zero profit.

[@sandraaalbk7560]

Beautiful speech from a beautiful spirit

[@Marta-dn7qs]

She might got bored of being a "married a millionaire" wife, probably got a midlife crisis and boom... created a Persona. It's ok, it's her life and she needs to find her purpose and happiness but I get the feeling she's deeply unhappy. Good luck to her. This show you that money is very very helpful but still not fulfilling.

[@laurel1865]

She seems comfortable and very happy. She has a performer in her. I have that too. I get it. It's like you want to act/perform/transform into other people. You're either an actress or not. She's creating a persona like any actress. It's not as deep as you think.

[@bettywith2girls]

@@laurel1865 I agree...she was a singer/dancer before she met Tom, her husband...it just didn't pan out for her. So what she has never made a profit from it and her rich husband is funding it all the way. She's very lucky she got a rich husband who's good to her. I think she's happy and I'm sure she's very "comfortable"...good for her.

[@santinocala]

Most women hungry for "empowerment" are exhausted and stressed out from running on adrenaline , worried about the future of their children's healthcare and education. Many are living paycheck to paycheck, angsting over whether there will be any money at the end of the month for food, gas, or utilities. Many cant afford to maintain their own health needs, let alone have the luxury of sitting in a salon chair once a year. The world doesn't need more retired cocktail waitresses preaching about the importance of finding our innate anything while feigning charisma in a wig that costs enough to feed a small village. We don't need TED Talks performed by shiny narcissists pronouncing convoluted catch phrases designed to mesmerize other clueless women who think a weekend at Canyon Ranch will inspire them the same way it supposedly awakened this hungry hamster. Women aren't hungry for shallow performance art that offers not so big words that say, " Look at me pretending to relate and aren't you jealous?" I'll watch the next Erica Jayne talk that stars a woman that doesn't require a posse of union artisans to get her in drag, where the story is her account of her experience flying over Syria, marveling over how an entire country could be wiped off the map and women were forced to WALK their families to another country, only to be turned away or imprisoned. That's the talk women might benefit from. It's 2019, people. The Real Houswives aren't real. And if they were, you shouldn't believe that striving to become an empty vessel leads to real empowerment.

[@christianx8761]

scala someone’s got a lot of feelings eh

[@SoJustCool]

@@christianx8761 no scala is only calling out the truth

[@tinytile]

I have a feeling you're a dude

[@miamanning7871]

scala thank you ..I wanted to say this but couldn’t put into words

[@bree00osd]

@Scala 👏👏👏 Thankkk Youuu...

[@qll8840]

Do they give everyone a TED talk?

[@crypticvinforever6350]

This is thee ONLY video that makes her look ok...too bad shes secretly hiding being a horrible person, that's been now exposed

[@TheEyeOfTaurusAK]

So basically her WHOLE Housewife persona is fake.

[@desac2006]

so well-rehearsed....

[@yoursstrully202]

Mihnea Popescu well you don’t go perform without rehearsing do you?

[@50bruiser]

She hired three coaches, a masseur, a shaman, and the entire Special Effects Dept at Disney to get through this lecture. Then she bought a new Kelly Bag to come down from her performance high. She's a natural.

[@verynormalusername]

its a ted talk, not an improv show, dude 😂 you write and rehearse these beforehand

[@miendle]

So many haters in the comments. Jesus. Give this woman some empathy and understanding, y'all a bunch of hypocrites. Hate her either way. If she was a man y'all would be for real treating her like Bruce Wayne or Superman.

[@hellokolie]

What I got from this, marry rich and do whatever you want to do without having to worry about failing because you have enough money to keep throwing at your dream.

[@ginacrea7105]

Very interesting the bottom line though is if she wouldn’t have married a husband very wealthy I might she could’ve had the opportunity if she wasn’t married to money to do what she does yeah she’s talented but again that’s what gave her the opportunity

[@bettywith2girls]

Right...with all due respect to Erika, she tried the song/dance thing right out of high school and failed. She's very good at it but she's never made money at it over her expenses, and wouldn't have been able to do it if her rich husband hadn't completely funded it. She is also lucky her rich husband agreed to this, which a lot would not. Good for her for snagging that rich husband who turned out to be a really nice guy (to her, at least) and enabled her to follow her dreams. Why not live a little...we've only one life.

[@jorgethesitter127]

She’s guilty, your honor

[@leilasc4]

I did not think her talk would be this good and I'm pleasantly surprised. I actually had no idea where she came from but I feel like I'm hiding and this helps so much.

[@marygarcia456]

She's was spot on, 2021 is your year!!!

[@jenn8721]

Uhhhhh 😬😬😬

[@AyitaIam]

Lol...yeah the year hopefully the victims get their money..the universe knows the real her

[@ckwind1971]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@hsk2909]

Cruella E Jayne

[@cjthomas5196]

She has a good husband. He understands & knows what a incredible women, mom, wife she was all those yrs. Now her son has grown up n Tom is his own boss, & she's all alone at home she rediscovered something she loved doing once upon a time, performing. Then she had to learn to manage both lives to be one together. That's what I took from the message.

[@Flower4833]

Love how real she is....thank you

[@vegbeth]

Maybe she should have a life and marriage where she doesn't feel like she needs to hold back and be/look perfect all the time. She tries to fit in extremes - pop star or held back housewife - but seems like she'll find peace if she can just be her real self in her real life.

[@angie4justice]

Honey you were never “soft, sweet and agreeable “ . Not even at birth.

[@rubygold2242]

He bought her her fame

[@adrianflores581]

What in the world did I just watch, I feel like I eavesdropped on a convo I shouldn’t have I was just trying to find the best way to make scrambled eggs 😳

[@LouLou-bu2th]

Just found this. Admittedly, I'm not always her biggest fan ... but this is a side of her that I really like and admire.

[@MsCoconutconjurer]

I don’t know what she is talking about but these comments are hilarious 😂

[@laurel1865]

She's talking about being yourself and not being the character that everyone expects of you based on your socioeconomic status, or age, or culture, etc.

[@brib6046]

I thought this was Tana Mongeou from the thumbnail! I was so surprised someone invited her for a TedX talk

[@smcd0142]

She speaks well......

[@yochin8849]

but theres no substance

[@bettywith2girls]

in a round-about sort of way. The overall message is you can still "follow your dreams" even tho your family may not approve.

[@JUSTAMFG2005]

This is a terrible inspiration to turn to. A woman who married rich and was able to further capitalize on the benefits, is not TED-worthy or a feasible path in life to pursue.

[@lct8954]

the irony.

[@harmony331000]

And I can’t believe this is an actual TED talk either, I held them to a much higher standard and this definitely took them down some notches on the cool stick!