The 18 Characteristics of Narcissists

[@RippleDrop.]

The being nice 99% of the time is with strangers. They are predominantly abusive with people who can't escape them, like kids and spouse.

[@lindamac45]

absolutely. I constantly heard how wonderful and caring he was... just not at home.

[@RippleDrop.]

@@lindamac45 *exactly*

[@julieschechter3995]

Very true.

[@harveymedia7]

EXACTLY

[@Odog78]

Preach

[@cicinomaden]

I only get 16: 1. Think they're better than everyone else 2. Think they're more important than others 3. They exaggerate their achievements, and expect you to acknowledge they're better than you 4. They have insatiable appetite for praise, attention, admiration. 5. Think everyone is jealous of them 6. Their value is on their image. 7. Arrogant 8. They must never be wrong. 9. Initially can act very caring, but as time goes you can see they feel entitled. Relationship is lopsided. 10. Think rules don't apply to them. 11. Exploitive to others. All about manipulating you to meet their needs. They play a long game, they will pretend to care to groom you and then they only get. 12. Narcs can be the nicest people in the world 99% of the time, until they don't get what they want. There is hell to pay. (Some triggers: perceived rejection, not getting enough attention, or anything messes with their image) 13. Jealousy issues. Get rid of friends, families, etc. 14. Control issues 15. Extreme sensitivities and tendency to easily hurt over the slightest things (stemming from their sense of shame) 16. Need constant reflection/mirror

[@Seekfind]

Sharing achievements thinking others are friends is not to put someone down.Some share because they think the other is the close friend.Then where comes the jealousy.Ok.when others donot reciprocate,I can take the other is not interested in updations and they want to be in distance.

[@healinginjesus2112]

Thank you.

[@natural3362]

They're also vindictive, self centered, callous. Be careful.. Those are dangerous traits

[@jerinpeter1390]

The 9th point! Yes, they change colors gradually! And feel so entitled. And their flying monkeys agree with them that the whole world should bow down to them.

[@Ranas-qm8vn]

thank you, I'm trying to become a better person and i share lot of these traits, especially the part when someone tries to mess with my image, the rage is real and they're done. its like you've built something all your life and someone is trying to destroy it, so you destroy the first.

[@2F098]

My parents were narcissists in different ways, and it took hitting rock bottom for me to realize that I was one too.

[@yellowdayz1800]

Do you realize that to be a diagnosied narcissist - it has to border, at the least, a mental illness /handicap, minimal of severe emotional disregulation for it to be a professionally diagnosed NPD. Or you are just a run of the mill "narcissist"..... And your parents. Some, a true narcissist, are downright sociopathic and or pschopathic in how they like to be cruel to people and truly get off on it, most of them, for as long as life will allow them. Till most of them, in their older age, no one is around them or a few more victims they manage to drag into their web.😮

[@yellowdayz1800]

Do you realize that to be a diagnosied narcissist - it has to border, at the least, a mental illness /handicap, minimal of severe emotional disregulation for it to be a professionally diagnosed NPD. Or you are just a run of the mill "narcissist"..... And your parents. Some, a true narcissist, are downright sociopathic and or pschopathic in how they like to be cruel to people and truly get off on it, most of them, for as long as life will allow them. Till most of them, in their older age, no one is around them or a few more victims they manage to drag into their web.😮

[@yellowdayz1800]

@@ItsAllFakeAndGhey you folks don't get it..... A true narcissist is a pschopath

[@aCarolinaGal]

I agree. It would be extremely rare at least.

[@laurem1274]

It must be hard to become aware of this.

[@jeryuen6563]

Narcissus was not in love with himself, he was in love with the false image he saw in the water. The idea of a false self is the true idea of what a narcissist is. False.

[@RippleDrop.]

Indeed. Narcissistic people loathe themselves behind the intense defense of grandiosity.

[@andriyandriychuk]

There is no authentic personality behind narcissist. They are simulacrons.

[@torasacramento4905]

RIGHT! AND they rely on the reactions of OTHERS to reinforce the false personna they WISH was real. They devalue and discard others when the others "supply" doens't "work for the Narc to bolster his or her false identity anymore. They need NEW people to refresh their belief in their false self.. and it goes on and on and on

[@caroleminke6116]

A mirror image is a perfect description of a narcissist because there’s nothing behind the mirror but a wall & the face is simply false

[@DevoidVoid]

​@@andriyandriychuk this is the best idea of what it is

[@jeffm8206]

Spot on Tim. And bingo on the they are never wrong and have no empathy. IMO, the vulnerable or covert narcissist is the most dangerous to deal with.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

Totally!!!!!

[@FOX007-um1wr]

This is my late husband and my mother. My mother outright attacked me physically resulting permeant injury, which wasn't the first time, after her and my doctor got into it. I couldn't be around my mother, she wanted to kill me. I had been in fear all of my life around her. My father and two different doctors told me I had no choice be to cut my mother off. Her psychiatrist told me it was very dangerous for me to be around my mother, yet most everyone loved her, because she was so kind and had a big heart. None of these people knew who she was behind closed doors leaving me no where to turn, nobody to talk to. She would NEVER accept any responsibility for any thing she did to hurt people. Never!

[@natural3362]

Go no contact break free

[@jasonmuise7496]

I just sent my mother a good bye txt. Said 51 yrs old and can't be a part of it any more. I seek peace and joy. I must move on as hard as that is. My sister did the same a few yrs ago. Sad really.

[@shirleysiegrist552]

This talk seem to focus primarily on narcissistic partners. It would be so helpful to hear more about narcissistic parents. You can escape from a narcissistic partner, but as a young child, you cannot escape from a narcissistic mother and the effects of that last year entire life.

[@Rose_Smidt]

This is the best explanation of narcissism ive ever seen. Once they are called out on their deception and you need mountains of proof they turn on you like a serpent. My ex narcissist who i had a 5yr old son with & in a long term relationship and living as a family with, was having multiple affairs and when i found out his exact words to me were "I was only with you as a bet, because X said I could never get anyone like you!" I packed up my son, moved out within 3weeks and understood I would never get my youth and time back that was stolen from me and my son, but being the best single Mum instantly became my sole focus. My ex DEDICATED the next 12yrs to destroy me everyday & in every way you could imagine for me leaving him. I had 2 nervous breakdowns over that time as a result. My ability to trust never come back.

[@caryg4638]

@@Rose_Smidt I’m sorry you went through that. You had to be strong to endure it.

[@maarionOo]

@Rose_Smidt I'm so sorry this happened to you :( At the same time, I'm terrified because it seems that a similar thing is going to be in my case...it's just the beginning of legal cases (almost a year), but it was and still is a HELL. I don't think he would ever "forgive me" that I said it loudly that it was an abusive relationship and that he is an abuser. He is such a horrible person, worse than the devil.....

[@brettcordes3602]

Another characteristic is their extreme sensitivity to criticism…even constructive, appropriate criticism.

[@MarthaEllen88]

@@brettcordes3602 yes, can't believe wrong...

[@howarddavies782]

Cracking video, it isn't until you hear other people talking about it that you realise that others genuinely understand what you are going through and that you are not alone.

[@AngelWest58]

#19. They will NEVER apologize for anything no matter how small. EVER.

[@billevans4470]

Never ever

[@MarthaEllen88]

So true!

[@Invictus1970]

It's a phony apology because I was always apologizing then she would apologize.

[@joebloggs339]

My mother in many ways...later in life when I learned about what happened to her parents during the war and then the conditions she grew up in, it all made sense, and learning about it helped me not be so angry with her but it didn't undo the lifetime of having to develop a fake personality to avoid offending her every little sensitivity.

[@zenda.rawlings]

18 for 18. I wish I had known what a narcissist was before I got married, or even what manipulation was.

[@tonyd.9156]

Yep, the truth will set you free. Now, focus on healing your trauma.

[@jeffm8206]

Yep, same here, now it's too late for me in so many ways.

[@mariahwilliams5333]

What about stonewalling, gaslighting and blame shifting?

[@qbik911]

Exactly. As INFJ he just describing my typical behavior while i am literally afraid to ask people for anything because of how similar we are to Narcs on surface while dont do the dark deeds.

[@katrada]

find on Narcissistic PD in DSM-5TR p. 760

[@Erick-di9gm]

Exactly, like most dog owners.

[@kristinatidwell-su5zn]

IKR? I get this constantly from my husband of 38 years! Especially when it comes to things he hides online. Even when I have proof, I get "How do I know YOU'RE not the one doing it?" i.e. dating sites.

[@bad.chickie66]

@@qbik911infj is dumb lol you identifying as that pseudo crap is worse than anything else

[@DonnaMayStanish]

Shame is the key. Tim, you mentioned this, as did a psychologist on another KZbin video had explained the same causal factors of narcissists' development. Thank you. This is very important information. Awesome job 💯

[@andriyandriychuk]

Perceived rejection and not getting attention is HUGE triggers.

[@Pascale5625]

And criticism. They always need to be right or else.... Narc rage.

[@DevoidVoid]

Yeah but the issue is this isn't a good indication of NPD, it's very common in multiple different diagnostic disorders. Another form of this, is rejection sensitivity dysphoria.

[@tinkerbellUK]

@@Pascale5625yeh the rage was off the scale 😵

[@GoldhurstSpeeding]

people throwing around narcissist as a diagnosis when someone has conflict with them is just as unhealthy as the condition. videos like this are limiting understanding by encouraging people to label others as narcissists and abandoning them mentally

[@andriyandriychuk]

Narcissist is one part a child never fully separated and never able to individuate and other part is grandiose simulacron of a person constructed to manipulate and destroy others in an attempt for another part (child) to separate through other people which is only possible by destroying personality of others.

[@haddadiwanassa]

Truth is we have narcissism in different levels ... So there is no one person with no narcisistic traits at all... It is how far we go for our own gains self admiring vs other people So we naturally need to have that self love and go after our own achievements but narcisism goes to the extreme in deluting oneself into thinking that a person is better than anyone else and is entitled to use people to get whatever they want and generally it is validation admiration congratulations constantly

[@sunshinesunflowerz1647]

What I was thinking.

[@darrellbennett8027]

You should get an award for how spot on you are with your description of the narcissist!!!

[@leajianlanyu1581]

So true, this is exactly my experience of living with my ex. for 15 years! Blaming, calling me names, belittling and insulting me so that he got what he wanted, physical assaults, cheating and he said it was my fault, Calling me selfish and ugly, gold digger old bag, pouring coffee into my handbag, throwing my computer and breaking the screen, throwing my jewellery into a dust bin, blaming me that i was not there when he wanted kill himself several times, Saying to me “everyone says that you are cold!” “You never invite me to your club”, “you are so selfish”. Everything triggers him to blame me and to call me selfish, mean and send me 🤮 emojis. He calls me “having the victim mindset”. And he has found himself another attention and energy supply within 1 year. Thank you Tim for all your important work on this matter and this video is so spot on! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@digoldstone8263]

Same story. 16 yrs married. 8 months after I stopped feeding his supply he finds someone else.

[@lundsweden]

I have bipolar traits (not enough to be diagnosed but have a sub clinical version). When I'm in a near- manic state I become more narcissistic than usual. It's usually Just after I've been really depressed. My doctor calls this a "manic defense against depression". This is not real narcissism, of course. I don't want to put anyone down, and really my (temporarily) inflated view of myself is enough "fuel" for me. I guess what I'm suggesting is that being narcissistic is not the same thing as being a narcissist (as in NPD).

[@IndrasChildDeepAsleep]

This. I have temporary narc traits, they come and go, and leave me feeling really guilty and/or ashamed. I am told it's part of my trauma responses but believe it might be something else as well.

[@releasingendorphins232]

Oh my goodness! Best description I have ever heard.

[@thephantomeagle2]

They can be the sweetest, kindest, most empathetic person in the world when you’re out with them. If you, for example, say something they don’t like, but you’re in a public place, or with friends, they’ll laugh, and go along with it. The moment you’re alone BOOM. They explode and scream, rant, rave, and blast you till you cry. The difference between their image to the outside world and their image when alone with you is as big as a. Ocean. No-one can understand why you’re not totally happy with that person because they’re so amazing.

[@HeyCoachBarbara]

I experienced everything that he said about how they react when a narcissist is triggered. This person was someone I had considered a friend. It didn’t get too bad because she I could hold my own. Narcissistic people are often bullies and will go for people who won’t put up a fight and will let them have their way.

[@artluvr6170]

As soon as they realize that you have figured them out, it’s over. They will discard you like yesterday’s trash. You caused them a narcissistic wound - a mortal wound.

[@Yo-yo-dt5ze]

Yup I figured it out with my bf of 5 yrs he was a narc when he realized it he ghosted me and I haven’t heard from him since

[@sarahjmount9221]

Right on, Tim. You described the personality disorder perfectly. Thank you for sharing your wisdom so freely. I needed to be reminded today, especially. I’m grateful to you for all you teach in your videos. It has helped me heal, become aware of others, and most importantly self-aware. Most of my family were narcissists. I went no contact with them finally when I started my recovery process after I discovered what complex trauma was; and that was what was wrong with me. Funny, though I’m still stuck in a relationship with a narcissistic man whom I’ve been living with for the past 10.5 yrs. I’m still working around it, though and getting better. I’ve learned to detach and have a plan in motion to get out.

[@Lilmommabear4]

SO Spot on Tim!!!! Everything you mentioned in this video is exactly what I dealt with for 13-14 years and it affected me mentally and emotionally and I had to leave!! It was too much for me and extremely exhausting!! 😞😔

[@jsmith7240]

Yep, Tim nailed that one too. Thanks Tim for your work.

[@Crazynacky]

This'll be the video and video title that makes this channel go viral

[@Torkmastaflex]

It better be lol

[@jamescompany-xf6vi]

Interesting video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her..

[@coleman-zx9ne]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

[@jamescompany-xf6vi]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@coleman-zx9ne]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@jamescompany-xf6vi]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@turymuri]

@@coleman-zx9ne That is really dangerous thing to do. You did not get same person back. She is a shell of what she used to be. This is working with Intranquil Spirit aka dead ones. Yes it can bring results very fast , but that is not genuine love or affection that is obsession. It can really backfire badly. Here’s the catch. If the Intranquil Spirit helps and your lover comes crawling back, your payment to the Intranquil Spirit is to assume its role. After you die, the Intranquil Spirit is free to travel to an afterlife realm while you are fated to become an Intranquil Spirit forever or until someone invokes your help with an unwilling love. (And of course, the Intranquil Spirit who once helped you is now invested in your death.) Wish you good luck thou!

[@SheenaRea]

My friend you summed this up perfectly. 1000% correct.

[@andriyandriychuk]

Best lectures on trauma.

[@poppett.m4481]

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, poops like a duck, farts like a duck... then it's probably gonna be a duck...

[@DonnaMayStanish]

Tim, you are on target 🎯 Thank you for sharing your knowledge with all of us. ❤️

[@lblincoe2094]

I wish more sources included the covert/ vulnerable adaptation in their information. Some of these traits apply to both (have to be right, entitlement, no empathy, exploitative, double standards, for instance) but some are a direct contradiction. For example, a covert DOES think they're special and unique, but it's not in the context of their merit or being especially skilled or worthy or valuable, it's in the context of their misfortune and suffering; no one has ever suffered as they have suffered, no one will ever be as big of a victim as they have been, they are a special and unique kind of disadvantaged. A covert will specifically NOT believe they are awesome and perfect and godlike, instead they're the MOST incompetent and underprivileged and destitute and that's not fair. A grandiose narcissist thinks they deserve anything they want just because their inherent worth is priceless and owed deference and they're better than everyone, the covert narcissist, however, thinks they actually deserve everything because they're so worthLESS and so underprivileged and they've been SO deprived that they're owed recompense for all the wrongs they've suffered. They should never have to suffer a single frustration or ever have a single desire unfulfilled as a sense of justice to them, they are OWED privilege to make up for their underprivileged life and misery. Because life is supposed to be fair and equal for everyone, right? That's what they see; we were all given an even playing field, with the same advantage and privilege, and they were forced to start life at a deficit. We all were given the same opportunities and chances in their mind, and they've been left out. No one is entitled to have good fortune or luck, if they haven't also had the same luck and good fortune, and they were given a bum deal by the lottery of their birth, so now the world owes it to them to make up for that previous injustice. They are less than and worthless, but WE are responsible for that by daring NOT to be as weak and powerless as they are and for the offense of rubbing our advantage in their faces by way of our successes and happiness. We dared to commit the crime of being better than them and then we insulted them by refusing to acknowledge the injustice that had been done to them, now they are owed anything and everything they want and we are all sentenced to serve their interests at the sacrifice of our own. This is a VERY different attitude from the grandiose. They're both self absorbed and believe they deserve they deserve a place above all else, but for very different reasons

[@yellowdayz1800]

No...... Not necessarily!!! Stop labeling.. We need to stop this. That is YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH A NARC. NARCISSIST ARE DIFFERENT IN HOW THEY GET CRUEL TO OTHERS..THIS IS NOT NOT THE NORMAL SELFISH WAYS OF A HUMAN. A TRUE NARC GETS CRUEL! AND THEY ARE AS DIFFERENT AS THEIR FINGERPRINTS. ONE GLOVE DOES NOT FIT ALL. THEY HAVE SIMULAR THINGS THEY DO... BUT THTAS IT!! DON'T LABEL ANYONE UNLESS THEY HAVE A PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS! THIS US CRITICAL. COVERT MALIGNANT NARCISSIST ARE ABSOLUTELY CRUEL TO PEOPLE... I SLY WAYS THAT MOST OF THEIR VICTIMS WILL NOT KNOW ABOUT FOR YEARS. ALL YOU PEOPLE CLAIMING THAT THIS AND THAT IS A NARCISSIST... HALF OF YOU ARE JUST DEALING WITH A NORMAL SELFISH HUMAN BEING..MORE IS MOST LIKELY. IF THE PERSON YOU CLAIM TO BE A NARCISSIST.... ISN'T AS CRUEL AS HELL BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.. FOR A 100% SURE... DON'T ASSUME YOUR SUSPECT IS EVIL. BE VERY CAREFUL. SAID WITH ALL DUE RESPECT AND CAPD FOR URGENCY. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOUR EXPLANATION OF COVERT IS NOT CORRECT... THEY ARE INSEDIOUS HELLIONS THAT ARE CRUELER THAN DAMN HELL.

[@aCarolinaGal]

Tim's Playlists go way back and are extensive to say the least, so you may find what you're looking for there.

[@frizzyrascal1493]

Covert Narcissism is a huge spectrum, but they all share at least five of the 9 traits that are needed to be diagnosed with narcissism.

[@Stellar_red78]

So true!

[@TallGlass-fh8qf]

This is always my issue with how NPD is taught. It rarely steps outside of the conventional and overt type of narcissist, even though there are many different manifestations of this personality disorder. I also dislike how the mainstream teachings tend to not explain it ultimately comes down to these behaviors being pathological, not just something you did for a short period of time or in a certain situation. The narc in my life is a covert narcissist that has crossover of vulnerable and antagonistic traits. So she is always in competition with you, because she cannot determine herself worthy without a finish line reflecting it (i.e. no ability to self-reflect). She is also always executing this behind a sweetheart, angelic demeanor that the public thinks is her…but only I know it is not. Unlike the overt, grandiose narc she will never explicitly state or bodily express anything…only her fleeting facial expressions and “I’m studying you” eyes give her away. So if one does not know what to look for, they will never notice she is a horrible person…

[@oliverhill113]

Brilliantly explained I think. Many thanks.

[@1timbarrett]

I needed this today, as I’ve been working to develop at least some compassion for two key people in my life who consistently demonstrated narcissistic behavior. Thanks 🙏.

[@OYensen]

Spot on.

[@braedenmckean375]

I had a psychotic breakdown in my senior year of highschool about a year ago where I was showing some of these symptoms to some very good people who didn't deserve it. But since I've recovered, I've felt so guilty about how I behaved when I was sick. Part of me wants to reach out and apologize and let them know im doing ok, but the other part of me thinks the best gift I could give them would be to just let the past rest and move on and live my life, and acknowledge that maybe the damage I caused is too much to be reconciled and it would only cause them more pain to hear from me again. I dont know... but im encouraged that given i feel literally awful most days about how i acted during that time, and i still try to hold myself accountable that i dont think im a narcassist 😅 so thats good?!

[@francestaylor9156]

You could always write a letter. That way they can read it on their own time. It gives them the respect for their own space but also that you want to apologize for what you've done to them. As long as you don't expect anything in return, I think that means you're not acting like a narc.

[@Pheonix1111]

My toxic narcissistic mother meets all 18 characteristics of a narcissist according to the DSM. She also gaslit everyone non-stop. Being raised by her and living with her was a nightmare. She hated and abused me.

[@dennisdiede]

Narcissism is "ME ONLY". Selfish is Me First, You second. Big difference

[@andriyandriychuk]

They deal with false snapshot of other people. They don't see others as they are but how others should be and behave towards them. They don't understand why others don't treat them like they deserved to be treated. So everything is others fault.

[@lvncr]

This is such an easy explanation to tell the difference - thank you.

[@lauralynnmcculloch1186]

The nicer I am to my narcissist boyfriend the crueler he becomes. He will literally call me a whole, bxtch etc in my vehicle and get out and treat a stranger like gold.

[@jennacallahan1]

Please get away safely before it gets worse. Trust me I wish I would have.

[@Erick-di9gm]

But you still keep going back.

[@Chris-t7m5t]

Half of those 18 traits would qualify someone as a NPD Narcissist. However, almost every person you've ever met has at least one or two narcissistic traits. Therefore be aware of the label of "Narcissist" it's a generalized overused term that everyone is throwing around nowadays. Just because you recognize a trait in someone, doesn't necessarily qualify them as having NPD, or are a sociopath, psychopath, Narcopath, or suffering from severe psychopathy issues, it could be a number of other things. They could also be a scapegoat victim of a Severely NPD Narcissist who has learned how to recognize these traits in others and choose to not associate with people displaying these traits, whether or not they are actually a full blown NPD Narcissist or not Only real true qualified psychologists can actually determine if your dealing with a problematic NPD Narcissist individual or you have just identified some traits in someone that are part of their personality. Narcissism is a trendy key word being dropped on social media platforms for likes. Best thing is to get educated and understand that almost everyone you will ever interact with display some sort of Narcissistic traits. It's the psychological manipulative individuals that suffer from NPD, or worse, sociopaths, psychopaths and a whole lot of DSM definitions that you really need to watch out for.

[@4lex355]

It is true, the best way to not be in doubt is to ask if this person toxic for you. No one should carry the bad behaviour of others. If the person feels wrong to you and is not able to change behaviour, you dont need to know if they are narcissistic or not to move on.

[@LOVEISTRUTH300]

I understand this. Thank you again for another great video Tim Fletcher💖💖💖

[@delicatesoundasmr]

Please talk about counterdependence! It's so hard to find info on because everyone only ever discusses codependence.

[@anne467]

Great video thanks for sharing. He has every single one.

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

This is all true! I have lived with and around narcissists all my life.

[@eleanam4835]

This is one of the best summaries of a narcissist👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@tonywords6713]

This is specific to grandiose narcissism, would like to hear one on covert/malignant narcissism

[@DevoidVoid]

Covert is someone with less "skin", grandiosity is the false self, think of it like having LOTS of skin. So both exist in one person, the traits are the same. Someone in perpetual collapse or inability to get their "needs" met will be met. Malignant narcissists are a completely different breed, high psycopathic traits, ego syntonic sadism and excessive paranoia. Some literature implies malignant Narcissism is the "core" of actual psychopathy. Soooo the science is still not 100% on what that is.

[@harpazohockey2812]

Always remember, it's not a disorder, it's a DECISION!

[@nidaladil4150]

It's a disorder

[@joons3374]

Bullshit

[@joons3374]

How dare you even day that

[@IndrasChildDeepAsleep]

Wow that's wrong. Sure decisions are made, lots of them, but the ones that comprise NPD behavior, are, unsurprisingly, part of NPD.

[@Jessicahurst1]

Disagree.

[@Mary-lk8eq]

On point-Every point❤. Exactly.Thank you

[@theevolutionofandrea5153]

My God this is good!

[@mariophillips-k3u]

You have explained a person a I know perfectly.

[@feverandfret]

Narcissism also works in the negative, meaning, "No one said hello to me today. Everyone must hate me!"

[@i.ehrenfest349]

Wellllll….that’s insecurity, and while it can be narcissistic insecurity, it absolutely doesn’t have to be.

[@Jhuikopl]

That's cognitive distortion.

[@davidrosen3736]

Or paranoid disorder: such people always interpret everything negative

[@IRISHWINECOOP]

spot on Tim.

[@M_butterfly788]

I don't think I'm special or unique in the sense that I am better than others or smarter or can only be understood by prestige people. I don't get it though my whole life my mother and others used to attack me and say “you think you’re SO special!!!” in a very nasty tearing-me-down mean and emotionally and mentally abusive way and I never even did or said anything wrong to warrant that. And then rarely I would hear someone in church lovingly say “you are special.” “you are unique” “you were created on purpose.” I would actually begin to barely feel my worth. and now here in this video I'm being told thinking or saying that I’m special and unique is narcissistic.

[@sunshinesunflowerz1647]

There's nothing wrong with having a good relationship with one's own self-love. I mean that's inevitably what therapy is doing, right?

[@TheLoneDrow22]

Everyone is narcissistic on some level, the only difference between the ones who really care and the ones who don't are the ones who recognize that they embody some of those narcissistic qualities and works towards changing what they can.

[@jasonmuise7496]

At 8:18 you mention the long game. It sounds like i'm the narcissist i thought we took time to build a relationship as friends ? I'm confused. I do the tests and score low so ?? I am male first born but the runt of the community. I figure i have lots of coping issues.

[@mariannekoroleva6495]

YES, in the language of the pride "I care really for somebody" calls "I am crapping in a sh*t" (=> case Lucy Fletscher)... Thank You!!:))!!

[@Erick-di9gm]

Knew someone tripolar, man what a hard worker!

[@joeycfitc2833]

Like when Brad got off the plane. Caused a narc injury. Now his kids no longer carry his name. Be careful who you marry. Narcissists are disgusting to the bone. This video is spot on. I also haven’t seen my kids in 4 years since I left my narc.

[@biancamichelle11]

😢🙏🏼🙌🏽

[@karascene13]

This is life changing stuff.

[@DJ-yj1vg]

This just described my sister in law.

[@lauralynnmcculloch1186]

This is excellent!!!

[@Relayzy1]

There's never 50/50 in any relationship...

[@i.ehrenfest349]

Well, some relationships come pretty close.

[@jonathanmun4180]

You will find yours someday.. sorry.

[@RippleDrop.]

No. It's only slave/master relationship. They take either side depending on the situation.

[@Erick-di9gm]

Same with pet ownership.

[@jennifergaughan7604]

Amen. I can't thank you enough. 100%

[@MarthaEllen88]

Anger, rage, cruelty when triggered. And yes, super sensitive when you hardly do anything. He rages, shouts, swears at me. I havea slightly frustrated tone to my voice and he is telling me off big time. Madness. I think stemming from over critical, shouty parents. He tends to get angry and shout himself, but also triggered by anyone else having a slightly raised voice. Plus no insight.

[@adele865]

You just described my ex of near 2 decades to a T!. I am still trying to recover from it all.

[@lynnschaeferle-zh4go]

It’s not exactly a decision when they are choosing cruelty for entertainment. We did fairly okay until the kids left home; they provided enough worship. Then I was boring and not 20 anymore. He was a professional covert manipulator and his goal was to be mean. At the beginning he was the nicest humble guy. He ended up a sadist who destroyed my life.

[@pohkeee]

The describes most people I’ve ever known…and 98% of the public nowadays…🥴 currently, labeling countless people with it also seems to be a very popular pastime on social media

[@IndrasChildDeepAsleep]

I've only met a handful of people that have most of these qualities, and man did most of them wreck my life

[@turymuri]

Love of my life left me two months ago.Two years of relationship ended so abruptly without any signs that it is going that way. She left me while i was at work. I kissed her in the morning for a goodbye as i always do, said see you baby in the evening. She said mhm and i went to work. Then out of sudden i got msg from her she is breaking up with me and that she is moving out of city .I never saw it coming. Refusing to give me closure. It hurts like hell getting no closure , funny thing she want no contact and i i want is closure which i will never get. My mind is in a bad state also my body but im getting better after two months,

[@bad.chickie66]

2 years is not enough time to be love of your life lol grow up lol 😂

[@AnPTsRoom7]

Sir, do you provide any counseling services ?

[@susannluckmann7705]

He does. Check the infobox, get well soon and good luck.

[@LouwrensVanTonder]

Sir you are spot-on every point ! Well done But pls realise , there are women like this not only men. Mine is a full blown NPD ‘ beautiful ‘ WOMAN master at ALL 18 points you stated , having various supply. Pls put it out there Thank you

[@Coetzeefamilystead]

My narcissistic ex and his narcissistic mother ended up destroying themselves and their home (he still lives with them at 40 - completely enabled) trying to destroy me😇

[@MJ-qb5ph]

Total lack of empathy and curiousity are dead give always of the covert

[@prancey227]

What is the opposite of narcissism? Like when you feel like you know less than most people, or like you're a dumber person than most people?

[@Heritagepostfarms]

Low self esteem?

[@2F098]

Imposter syndrome if you really arent as bad as you think

[@i.ehrenfest349]

It can actually be a part of narcissism, because the self esteem of narcissists can fluctuate wildly. Or any of the possibilities the commenters above have mentioned.

[@prancey227]

@@i.ehrenfest349 it can be narcissism if the symptoms are the exact opposite of narcissism?

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@prancey227 Well, narcissists are said to have an over-inflated self-esteem, right? But deep inside they’re insecure, they feel very small. When things go well for them in life the grandiose side shines through, but when they’re down on their luck they temporarily crumble or, as my psychologist niece calls it, go into victim mode. So for a while they may seem to be really modest and down on themselves. But…wait till their luck changes again…. Of course, a little bit of fluctuation is normal and most of us feel better about ourselves on some days than others. But if you see someone going from arrogant to needy/humble and back again, depending on how well life is going, something is up. I’m not sure if you’re asking for yourself, but my first (silly) impression would be you’re not narcissistic, or you’d have posted your question in an antagonistic way. I’m on Quora, if you know the site. Sometimes, or rather often, people get weirdly combative and personal. I like to look up their profile, and have found I can often guess their political affiliation if extreme, and strikingly often also the fact that, as their profile may say, they’re a diagnosed narcissist or borderline. It’s happened so frequently that I don’t take personal attacks seriously anymore - they genuinely say something about the person engaging in them.

[@KJDogluv]

You forgot to mention his sidekick Echo …a vital part of narcissism

[@honestandfair1572]

Live this 😢

[@hanifahal-amin3583]

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly!!!

[@arthurbalcita4851]

It also describes perfectly my divisive and meddling SILS. By Amelia

[@releasingendorphins232]

Is there any hope for the Narcissist's? Can they be helped?

[@myhalowithin]

Yes. Heal NPD' channel on You Tube.

[@gretenaaden7613]

They lie, lie and lie...have no consincessness... no regrets

[@xooq_]

What are the 18 things

[@Little_CuteBacon]

Watch the video

[@niclas889]

its not describing the neglectful, avoidant narcissist

[@andy.hello.6602]

He's just describing royalty

[@lindamac45]

Spot on!!!!

[@semperdecorus37]

You guys must watch Dr Sam Vaknin who is an expert in this field. His work is insane!

[@Angieglenn48]

Hit the bullseye

[@giannisk36698]

Also the myth ends with the death o narcissus..on his last attempt to admire more closely himself he came so close to water and as a result he drowned

[@shockjay]

"Only the right people understand my greatness" is code for "nobody but God understands my greatness"

[@gadoll11]

Correction. Not even God understands them.

[@jrsf222]

Gaslighters, Liars, keep copies and pictures

..or find out the hard way.. yeah

[@andriyandriychuk]

100%

[@dsheppard8492]

Some people are smarter, more capable and even better than ( many ) other people,,, just not everyone.

[@LouwrensVanTonder]

Correct sir

[@jorgevelez1809]

who isn't a narcissist?

[@daemonspring]

The vast majority of people.

[@Dawnarow]

It's all defense mechanisms because they are "confused" (halted development during childhood... sadly, these individuals were really attractive at some point / might still be......... and they'll die alone or trapping someone whom thinks they're hurt [most of em are psychopathologically unable to live their own emotions... not that they have none, but these are limited to faking joy and being hurt). I hope this helps someone. Sadly, Society is not equipped for this nightmarish stance they have against everyone.

[@nealwailing3870]

I have never known anyone who is any different...

[@nealwailing3870]

'What time is it?' 'How, fucking dare you, you bastard!'

[@marydonovan6681]

Everything said here is fact. I have an ex- husband Whois one. Unfortunately, a son too. I see that he feels less than, but I have to detach from his boasting and jealousies. I have insight of him, but the ex I see as a demon from hell

[@donnamogavero9212]

Omg he has just described my wife perfectly. I admit I get immediately defensive and it's off to the races ugh

[@davetdu]

You have your "swinger" shirt on.

[@hummingpylon]

Are women narcissists or just insecure?