The Crypto Scamming Pastor

[@SketchySquirrel]

He was told that he should 'pray for people' but he heard he should 'prey on people'

[@oOISekaIOo]

Instead of telling people to pray, he told people to pay

[@nerdoftheatre]

Those dang homophones. Instead of praying on people, he spent his time preying on people. Such an easy mistake to make as a pastor.

[@Dizzy8203]

Hate when that happens. Sometimes the Angels singing just muffles gods voice.

[@moth_freak]

Hehe I'm the 666th like (:

[@worstusernameintheworld9871]

not to mention, he thought he was being a prophet when in reality he was getting a profit from people paying him

[@pawsonalpetcare]

Funny how he missed the court hearing. Misshearing is what got him into the whole mess in the first place.

[@ErikaCartet]

lmfaoooo

[@wh1skeys1erra]

This pun is artful

[@disasterbi8610]

underrated af comment

[@cadyheron9951]

this is an impeccable joke bravo

[@imdamo8006]

HOLY S$&T 🤣

[@jitenyasu]

Bro straight up confusing his gambling impulses for divine intervention

[@Thebees21]

If god didn’t want me to gamble then why’d he give me this crippling addiction, huh? Checkmate atheists.

[@jakethepillowsnake5302]

​@@Thebees21Good point. I think god wants me to start drinking again.

[@jazmyndebono4927]

@@jakethepillowsnake5302and god wants me to drive afterwards

[@halatiny6537]

That’s like a man.

[@jam06]

@@jakethepillowsnake5302Jesus made water into wine, I think so too

[@drunkhyena]

As it says in the bible, "It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God (but I'll make an exception for Eli and his INDXcoin)"

[@Shoulderpads-mcgee]

For 2000 years this last sentence has been left out of countless copies of the Bible due to scholars being unable to identify what INDXcoin could mean, but today, we now understand the true meaning of this passage!

[@drunkhyena]

@@Shoulderpads-mcgee the biggest upset in theological academia since the discovery of the gnostic gospels!!

[@zix1257]

and yet large swathes of christians are obsessed with the rich or trying to be rich. fuckers literally invented virtue signalling.

[@NoMementoMori]

Its funny how christians into all those new get-rich-quick-schemes try to warp their minds around such verses...

[@TheDoomBlueShell]

@ntoMori In Brazil a pastor was caught in one of these schemes but was pure insanity like he promised that if you invested 25 bucks on him you would get millions back or even an octillion, and people invested +150 millions before he was caught

[@servnava6601]

Man heard: "you can either serve God or money" and said "thank you Jesus for giving me the option to serve money"

[@LuXClypse]

The rich man won't enter heaven

[@MissDraiha]

​@LuXClypse Hey, I'm THIS CLOSE to fitting this camel through a needle, then just watch me!

[@burdeegirl]

For real!!

[@kwowka]

Poor Jesus man, he was a poor Palestinian carpenter who hung out with the poor, disabled and homeless, and he’s being used by white Americans to sell… crypto?

[@austinbrooks2982]

@@LuXClypse”it is more likely that a camel will enter the eye of the needle than a rich man will enter heaven” Luke 18:25

[@tweetiedrawz8956]

Imagine going to church and instead of putting money in the donation basket, you buy the pastor's crypto

[@ToddHoward-gd4if]

That’s what we do at our Lord and Savior Logan Paul’s church.

[@DanielEarl]

Love how the pastor frames it as if he had NO AGENCY. It just happened.

[@Random-sk6hm]

How do you mishear an entire conversation 😭

[@kaldurskipper6821]

I mean, not like people have free will. Where in the Bible does it say...oh wait

[@alexisb3829]

He’s literally blaming God

[@Name.exeNotFound-pu1qt]

​@@alexisb3829 Thats got to be beyond blasphemous lmfao. At least blame Satan like a real man

[@CallMeVidd]

"Guys I don't know what happened I blinked and the body was on the floor just like that and I suddenly had a gun, I have no clue what happened but that's crazy!"

[@rockygroves4154]

Him blaming God is giving "the woman YOU give me forced me to eat the apple" energy

[@Jonathan-q7n2m]

She did not force it on him but she was the transgressor.

[@starcrier24]

him saying “this just happened” is giving aaron turning to moses and saying “this golden calf idol just popped out of the fire fully formed idk what to tell you”

[@burgerburger7975]

@@Jonathan-q7n2m Honestly I don't even blame Eve for the apple thing. She and Adam were completely oblivious to what was right or wrong because that's how they were supposed to exist, so her taking the apple should've been expected. It's like never teaching your child what's bad and then they do the bad. Like, what did you think was gonna happen, Big G? It is kind of funny that they were punished and cast out of the Garden of Eden for the sin of ''defying'' God and... gaining knowledge. With how a lot of christian leaders can be with their cults, that feels poetic XD

[@skeletonbuyingpealts7134]

*pomegranate

[@Viteaification]

​@user-yq1yh9rt8f so close! the issue here is adam is shifting responsibility to somebody else

[@GenderfaeCrab]

"Abraham, spread my word and prove there is no need for false idols. Noah, gather up two of every animal and build a gigantic boat. Mary, I want you to carry the saviour of humanity." And then God turns to another man and says, "Eli, I have a different task for you."

[@Made_on_marzzz]

This really happened, I was there

[@worstusernameintheworld9871]

can confirm, i was the boat

[@TheGh0st_Cat]

Can confirm, I was the animals

[@lowhplowhp]

can confirm, i was god

[@Random-sk6hm]

Can confirm I was Lucifer

[@heavenwaits]

“is he running from some previous con?” YES!!! DANNY PLEASE LOOK INTO IT, he fully admits in interviews he used to be a really high level car thief and forger and went to prison for it!

[@pandajesus5052]

Oh my god 😭😭😭😭

[@SourdoughHyena]

Oml

[@sammyjones8279]

I'm shocked, *shocked*, that when this man found religion his first thought was "hmm... Now how can I exploit this for profit?"

[@chrisp7044]

Poor guy just keeps mishearing God. I've been there, and you can only say "what?" so many times before you have to just smile politely and say "haha yeah!"

[@awesomesofar5963]

@@sammyjones8279 they told him to find god and he took it personally

[@sallyparker11]

*God very clearly in the Bible gives a commandment to not steal* “I think God is telling me to steal…”

[@meifennellysieu7510]

Thank you for making me laugh today.

[@GentM2015]

God in the bible gives very clear commands and a how-to-guide on how to own slaves, "I think God is telling me to own.." oh wait this one doesn't work as well.

[@johanahonen8627]

​@@cosas_de_gatosi agree, god don't exit, the bible was written by men.

[@kelza0]

​@@GentM2015God is not telling you to own slaves🗣🔥🔥⁉️ God is regulating slavery ⁉️⁉️🗣🔥🔥

[@boopsnoot163]

@@johanahonen8627well you’re correct about one thing, the Bible was written by men… most of the New Testament was written by Jesus’ 12 disciples who witnessed everything and followed God.

[@enigmadrath1780]

I will never forget the time I was staying with my aunt and she took me with her to her church and pastor was up there, in a tailored suit and designer sunglasses which he never took off, telling the congregation that they were being selfish because the church hadn't received as many gifts that month as they had the month before. Man was up there sounding like Dudley Dursley, and yet my aunt then took me into town to buy pastor an expensive handkerchief. This shit is rampant in black churches 😵‍💫

[@BlazingKhioneus]

Isnt... Isnt the whole point of being a pastor/priest/anywhere in those higher echelons of the clergy to have very little in terms of physical possessions to better devote yourself to serving the Lord in every waking moment? You cant serve God and mammon, my guy.

[@TheDoomBlueShell]

​@@BlazingKhioneus I think most churches only care for mammon nowadays I always will remember that a pastor asked for money so he could buy a private jet for himself, in my country one asked money to buy a private island with a mansion and now the congregation need to pay for taxes of said mansion because supposedly you can marry there so is part of the community and the worse part if you point out that he is just scamming you're called the anti-Christ and that you should take care of your life by his followers

[@Izzy_gee]

DUDLEY DURSLEY 😭😭

[@princessdollgf]

@@BlazingKhioneusREAL. When someone says “Pastor/Clergy” I think of some guy in a simple robe who keeps clean yet non-vain grooming habits. Not a wealthy bachelor with skeletons in the closet bunking with the expensive suits and matching shoes!

[@JamesMC04]

Difference is, Dudley Dursley saw the light (thanks to Umbridge, of all people) & changed for the better.

[@NovaBlueNova]

The worst part is his followers don’t understand crypto enough to realize what he’s saying is nonsense. They would genuinely believe the coin “turned out to be a scam” without realizing he was the one making it a scam.

[@JamesMC04]

When they heard "crypto", maybe they thought of Krypto the Wonder-Dog, Superboy's Canine Pal.

[@kingsleycy3450]

I can’t believe a pastor would exploit their congregation financially

[@emilyb.8219]

unprecedented, truly

[@asum7213]

There's always a first.

[@spelt722]

You're being sarcastic right😭

[@salis-salis]

Religion being used as a front for evil, who would have even dreamed of such a thing!! 😬😬😬😬😬

[@ioncekilledamanwithmyshoe]

@@spelt722yeah obviously 😭

[@rylierourke4031]

im gonna start using this as an excuse for every mistake i make. " I just misheard god :("

[@teathesilkwing7616]

@@username11346what

[@withatreat184]

@@username11346ima touch you so fucking hard 😊😊

[@Mafuyuassahina]

Gesus Goves Gou

[@felixiros]

@@Mafuyuassahinalmfao

[@skyhideaway]

"i didn't mean to set that orphanage on fire, i just misheard god!"

[@flurp2316]

I hate when I mishear god when he says “Jesus died for your sins boy.” And I accidentally hear “fill the local police station with noxious gas, destroy the ventilation and block all exits.”

[@mellow_mallow]

no god said that he cc'd me on it

[@baylorclark8489]

no no i heard that shit too

[@flurp2316]

@@baylorclark8489 oh! Maybe I heard right want to fill the local police station with noxious gas, destroy the ventilation system and block all exits together, bro?

[@Gunkerjunk]

@@flurp2316yes. go. act upon his divine instructions.

[@FowlsNest]

When god said "I want you to build this" he might've meant the ikea chair that's sitting next to the guy's pc, but he decided crypto was easier, way less steps, way more prophet

[@oliversmith6597]

Took me a moment to see what you did there.

[@yuki97kira]

The guy, sitting on a box filled with chair parts from ikea that he has yet to build: I may have misheard that

[@squidcoffee]

LMAOOO

[@d1fferen7]

You've heard of: "The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It". Now prepare for the sequel.

[@montymints]

The Conning: The Jesus Made Me Do It

[@kronemerj]

The Coinjuring

[@anniekurkovych9956]

God told me to do it

[@coko507]

Christian⛑⛑⛑According to the Bible it's somebody that trust Paul's gospel or what Paul calls "MY GOSPEL" three times in the scriptures⛑⛑⛑JESUS CHRIST gave Paul this gospel exclusively from heaven which nobody preached before Paul to be saved today for the church age❗ (Galatians 1:11-12 KJV) But do you know Paul's gospel ❓Do you know that you will be judged if you don't know it and believe in it❓ (Romans 2:16 KJV) Do you know if you don't know it you will without a doubt burn in hell forever according to the King James Bible ❓ Do you care❗ If not scroll on & we'll see you at the judgment before you get casted into hell forever❗But, If you do care and aren't sure at all if you know the gospel found in Paul to be saved according to what he calls "MY GOSPEL," (2Tim2:9/Rom2:16/Rom16:25 KJV Only) Then come press on the "Pauls Gospel" Highlight on my page❗ YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED❗ YOU are now permanently guilty if you die without it OR SOON TO BE INNOCENT if YOU go check it out and believe❗❗

[@zobizobizobi]

@@montymintsthis is so funny

[@kaboomer]

the goofiness, wackiness, and silliness of this video was off the charts. it should have been uploaded to 3 danny 3 furious

[@cosmic_entity06]

3 danny 3 furious is an immaculate name for a third channel

[@kerilzhiv]

what about "danny 4ever after" for the fourth channel?

[@username11346]

Jesus loves you

[@kyoryustar]

Underrated comment I hope it gets pinned and Danny says “😎”

[@3HUNNAGLORYBOY]

danny tokyo drift *

[@rivermichael4357]

"So it's like a Ponzi Scheme..." congrats, Danny! You have just accurately described the *entirety* of crypto and NFTs!!

[@IzzyExistnt]

depending on your religious views tithing can be viewed as a ponzi scheme too lol

[@thebadpoet]

Well, no, not at all. Tithing has no promise of return on investment, it’s purely handing over (traditionally ten percent) of your income to whatever church you belong to. There’s no promise of any money coming back to you, which is a core tenet of a Ponzi scheme.

[@oliviaburch7971]

@@IzzyExistnttithing is so interesting… especially christian tithing? do christian’s give their tithing to the church itself? i’m a jew and we just donate money directly to charity for tithing

[@BlisaBLisa]

@@IzzyExistnt wait how lol im not christian isnt tithing just giving money to the church to do church things? or to make the pastor rich depending on the church lol. but in either case thats not a ponzi scheme theres no "greater fool"

[@cam4636]

@@oliviaburch7971 They technically claim the church is gonna hand off the money to a charity, like you give it to the church and the church will spread the love...to themselves

[@amytrieger8283]

“I’m here to say that those charges…are true actually” that’s so terrible but also kind of hilarious 😂

[@dawn8293]

His lawyer is facepalming so hard, I'll bet.

[@samb.8134]

"I misheard God" is the new "The Devil made me do it".

[@catwell88]

Normally it’s just “God told me to…” then a new cult starts. The “I misheard God thing is pretty” hilariously pathetic 😂

[@SpilledTomatoSoup]

Honestly, people should just take accountability for their actions 💀 💀

[@DOCTORWHIMSY]

"the devil made me do it (but i also kinda wanted to)" - will wood circa 2020

[@SpilledTomatoSoup]

@@DOCTORWHIMSY That's what I thought of, too 😭 😭

[@Socialrejectjpeg]

but i also kinda wanted to

[@butterfly_walk]

As a christian, I hate it when I mishear God and accidentally orchestrate a cryptocurrency scam 😔 Edit: To the few people making fun of christianity and insulting people for being christian in my replies, let’s please respect each other’s beliefs. Nobody deserves to be disrespected and told their religion is a “fairy tale”, let’s love one another and not break each other down. It’s not many people but I figured it warranted being called out.

[@lovelysyd]

same here man.. it happens all the time! 😟

[@doodlebug_doodles]

It's so easy to do! Could happen to anyone honestly 🤷‍♀️

[@Fwloop.O]

yes! I thought I was the only one!!

[@_.-Midnight-._]

Sometimes I trip and it happens to me... it's so annoying

[@olivialund455]

The lord works in mysterious ways 🙏🏽 😂

[@xamuska]

Robert is becoming the best character in the DannyCinematicUniverse

[@Ṯaxəṣ]

the dcu. I like it

[@turtlefoood7831]

real

[@xamuska]

@@Ṯaxəṣ the GregCU

[@Kalebismean]

@@xamuska yes the greg cinematic universe perfect

[@1VB_Fan]

@@xamuska DCU sounds better.

[@beepk_]

“we love you danny” we all say in unison

[@v.xien.]

Me, the one voice in the crowd, the outlier: we hate you Danny

[@small_frail_midwestern_bird]

we love you danny

[@emmatotaldrama]

We love you Danny

[@dr.doofenshmertz]

​@@v.xien. No we love Danny and you will love Danny and you will like it.

[@grembitch]

​@@v.xien.SHAME THE HERETIC

[@dm9910]

Claiming to have misheard god is one of the most brilliant things I've ever heard. You'd think an omnipotent, omniscient being would be better at communication and/or cryptofinance.

[@lrizzard]

you just unlocked a new philosophical question for me is god good at crypto?!

[@johanahonen8627]

​@@lrizzardwell, if you believe in the doctrine he is the best at everything, including pooping, fucking and killing everyone in a flood (except Noah etc)

[@bazzfromthebackground3696]

@@lrizzard Nobody is "Good at crypto" it's just gambling with a different name, like stocks, or "sports betting."

[@kitten-whisperer]

​@bazzfromthebackground3696 are you acoustic? For real. Like, did your acoustic brain actually prevent you from understanding it was a joke?

[@CorgTea]

@@kitten-whisperer Did you just ask someone if they were acoustic? Like a guitar? 💀

[@irishjournalgaming]

That wasn't an apology video, that was the villain explaining how he got away with his evil plans just to rub it in everyones faces.

[@annadough5309]

The pastor really pulled a Victoria Justice with the “I think WE ALL misheard God”

[@emoelmo3189]

this is my favorite comment ever

[@amyya9377]

CRYING

[@bernadettebread]

“i think we ALL sin”

[@yoongiverse.]

i met victoria justice in an airport bathroom as a baby

[@teesh871]

'Look I made some mistakes...you made some mistakes...things were said...let's just all move on and call it even'

[@pezzable]

"love thy neighbor" "scam thy neighbor?" "what no" "whoopsies too late"

[@4postie]

Beautiful

[@geojjsoak4]

Aw darn it.

[@mekenna6214]

as someone who grew up in the Mormon church i can assure you that “Prophet” and “Profit” get mixed up ALL the time

[@jam06]

Same, Same. Though, nobody was smart enough to realize that paying 10% of their income was totally for profit

[@alb91878]

😂😂😂! I promise I'm only laughing at the word play but not at what it obviously means! The word play was hilarious, the reality of all the hurt people is f****** disgusting!

[@thatguytom3]

I grew up Mormon and honestly prophet is for profit

[@ur_l0cal_crypt1d_b00]

as someone who also grew up mormon, i dont even think "prophet" was ever distinct from "profit". theyre one in the same, i think 😔

[@fishthefish1063]

My mom was Mormon n my grandparents are still in it, its definitely an issue!

[@kyralander3730]

When Danny asked us to say “thanks Robert” and all that I imagined all of us Greg’s sounding like a creepy chorus

[@joshmiller3055]

I'm just going to say that "outlandish promises of wealth" is honestly super common, especially in mega churches that preach the concept of the "prosperity gospel." This, however, is a new tactic I would not have expected.

[@annelisemarier2588]

as a christian i loathe prosperity gospel, its not the true word of God but yet so many people preach it. you can’t promise wealth to people when it’s evident that wealth leads to temptation and sin. not to mention it also erases the idea that we 1) should thank God no matter our circumstances and 2) that we are supposed to give for God. It's not supposed to be for what we could gain- giving was never about ourselves.

[@ria57]

Agreed, Jesus literally said that it would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

[@zix1257]

and they wonder why Christianity dies more each and every year.

[@Name-k2p4c]

Really? Religions of all kinds have been doing this on and off throughout history.

[@lethfuil]

​@@Name-k2p4c That's pretty much exactly what they said. That some forms of religious institutions commonly use that kind of shit. In this case: "Christian" Mega Churches.

[@Mothcat.]

God afterwards like “sorry man I misspoke I meant to say that you needed to do charity work, not crypto work”

[@Pvtjoker122]

iconic comment

[@hiraethey]

I was just thinking God set him up 😂 or tried his hand at a pyramid scheme

[@prometheuszero9]

I heard god tell me to do the crip walk one time but now that you mention, he was probably telling me to do charity work

[@anodosarcade7355]

“God told me to do it” Not beating the “they think their desires and stray thoughts is GOD talking to them” accusations

[@romulusnuma116]

"True me" God

[@em5522]

Tbf, it probably IS their god.

[@lilysiandaza4296]

I'm Zambian and hearing my country come up randomly in a Danny Gonzales video is surreal. I live in the capital too,, imma try and keep an eye on the newspapers for this crazy story lol

[@King-of-Corvids]

I don't live in zambia anymore but imagining him preaching in Lusaka is so weird lol

[@emilyb.8219]

I'm not religious but I have to believe there's a special place in hell for supposed "faith leaders" who use their position and religion to scam others and enrich themselves. Those type of pastors could not be more antithetical to Jesus' teachings. It's sickening how common that type of thing is in evangelical churches especially

[@waffleauflauf4213]

Oh there absolutely is. As a Christian, the Bible warns about and condemns corrupt leaders, politicians, and corrupt churches multiple times, showing it's unfortunately always been common and an easy target for predatory people or those who let power get to their head easily.

[@deedaceopondo3520]

There is a special punishment for sure. They are held to a higher standard than everyone else

[@SeanSaju]

i usually call them pharisees

[@emilyb.8219]

@@SeanSaju I still remember the "I don't wanna be a pharisee, cuz they ain't fair, ya see?" From the "I just wanna be a sheep, bah bah bah bah" song from church camp 15 years ago 🫠

[@glarnboudin4462]

Do not take the Lord’s name in vain isn’t about saying ‘god dammit,’ it’s about shit like this. Big JC himself was VERY clear about monetizing the church being evil, too.

[@hammanmeatluvr_]

I don’t believe in Robert. I think he’s like Santa Clause. Robert is just Danny in a red suit with a fake beard.

[@teathesilkwing7616]

Least delusional Santa denier:

[@negligible_reality]

have you ever seen Danny and Robert in the same room? i didn't think so. wake up, sheeple! 😤

[@no_peace]

The Santa Clause 😩

[@sillynamedbilly]

I think you're forgetting that Danny IS Santa.

[@soup-enjoyer]

I dont believe in Danny. I think it's just Robert in a Danny meat suit.

[@GenderfaeCrab]

The idea of God being a crypto bro is so funny to me.

[@benjamincoco8602]

Check out the channel Zach Star Humself, when he does skits with God, God is kinda like a fratbro. He's respectfully disrespectful to a lot of different backgrounds and is super funny all around.

[@junklex]

when the commandment says "thou shalt not use the lord's name in vain", THIS is what it means, not just shouting his name with an explicative.

[@firstnamelastname6016]

“Thou shalt not use the lord’s name to sell worthless crypto, Eli” - the rejected 11th Commandment

[@walrus3460]

@@firstnamelastname6016

[@carlamoss89]

@@firstnamelastname6016 It only appears in Eli's books

[@HeyGrouch]

+

[@oilindaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Robert is carrying the weight of this second channel on his back and we stan him for that

[@completlynormalhypernova666]

God may work hard making crypto, but Roberto works harder

[@Jaderj1209]

Crypto and pastor shouldn’t be in the same sentence but here we are!

[@gershonford3513]

Well...religion is kinda of a scam tbh😅

[@v.xien.]

^ a scammy cult

[@King_Saurian]

@@gershonford3513not really, it has good moral values

[@woofee66]

HONESTLY the Church has been scamming people since the start pretty much

[@negligible_reality]

@@King_Saurian does it tho? 😐

[@amo_kura]

never thought i would see a pastor do a youtube apology-esque video

[@raccoonray]

He pulls out a ukulele halfway through the video 😭

[@kyliem5812]

even funnier is i dont think mans ever actually apologized bahaha (also quite youtuber-esque tbh)

[@negligible_reality]

@@raccoonray He's on the ToXiC gOsSiP TrAiN!!! Got a one way ticket to Hell. 😈

[@eat_appl3z]

@@raccoonraythe toxic gospel train

[@guyanomaly]

@@eat_appl3zThis made me spit all over my phone

[@jasonpark5906]

Been a Christian for over 30 years and I’ve learned that when anyone says God is telling them something that the person is either lying or experiencing some sort of psychosis

[@stupidmangoz]

So also lying Btw I have lived with someone who claimed to talk to him multiple times and I believe she was consciously lying AND having constant episodes

[@pablovirus]

Kinda like Jesus did, no?

[@stupidmangoz]

@@pablovirus no that was different, he "was" god's son and god sorta used him as a vessel. While I don't know how this didn't get him mauled alive for blasphemy, that's different

[@Thanks-bj1fo]

Was it just a prank god killed babies and burn villages down?

[@Volair]

"I hope I'm not bashing Christianity." As a Christian, not at all, you're right on. Regardless, this "pastor" is certainly doing a good job of bashing it himself.

[@bekahsierra7313]

My pastor has a policy where no congregant’s money ever enters his hands. He doesn’t accept tithing checks. He doesn’t see the records, just gets an overall summary from the treasurers. More pastors need to do that.

[@jake9107]

how many altar boy does he have???

[@luthientinuviel3883]

​@@jake9107a lot of churches has a staff or group of elders respomsible for paying the pastors sallary and make payments; my dad was a treasurer and her was the one managing accounts. Churches tend to have a system that makes for more accountability, if its run correctly

[@disasterbi8610]

​​@@jake9107Does it make your life worth living, using it to bother people? Do you think you'll be proud of yourself when it's time to die? Anyway, your pastor sounds awesome! What a humble man. (edited for grammar)

[@ethandominic-13]

This is partly why I think more organized churches (such as a Presbyterian congregation affiliated with the PCUSA) are superior to unorganized and unaffiliated churches (such as a non-denominational church). They tend to have better, more established, and more historic means of organization and accountability within their clergy.

[@Bigcadder89]

I’m not religious or all that knowledgeable about religion but on the surface that seems like a genuinely trustworthy action respect to them!

[@scottdassler3964]

I forgot the 11th commandment, "Thou shall invest millions in shady crypto for the glory of God"

[@toadynamite8141]

Actually it would be 12 because 11th is love people as he loved people

[@elk1827]

There’s actually 15, but Moses dropped a tablet (it’s a Monty Python think look it up)

[@RubenBirrittella]

“I’m here to say that those charges…are true actually” that’s so terrible but also kind of hilarious

[@headphones1458]

Thank you, Robert. Thank you, Danny. Love you, Danny.

[@jualizesteyn5625]

Poor Robert he didn't get an I love you request from Danny

[@BoxOfToasters]

​@@jualizesteyn5625Love you, Robert.

[@kat9261]

​@jualizesteyn5625 it's okay , I love Robert.

[@carrieteagarden3803]

your honor my client didn't mean to kill that man, he just "misheard god"

[@blackwolfpaws]

Abel and Caine moment truly

[@Belelelekake]

“We were *sowing* all this money” is such a gross statement. What a scumbag

[@derekw104]

Seed money and prosperity gospel is such a corruption of religion, its really saddening

[@Mari_Beri]

As a Zambian, I was NOT expecting our country to make an appearance in this crazy story, but it kinda makes sense, considering the insane things that happen here.

[@sofie-ow2mk]

I'm not surprised 🤣🤣🤣

[@em5522]

Hope news has spread that this guy is a scam and ppl can avoid him.

[@evieyoung3164]

his lawyer is just like "your honor in his defense god is a little silly like that sometimes"

[@drunkpaulocosta]

*Points to any verse in the bible as evidence*

[@nailedbyresi]

sometimes god's just in a silly goofy mood 😗✌️

[@gingerleamcwow435]

​@@drunkpaulocostaNAILED IT

[@yeoldegunporn]

“Sowing” is a term prosperity gospel people use. Basically, they believe as long as they make money out of it, it’s proof god favors you. This pastor is actually far from the worst example of these people.

[@zoesbv]

I cant say i've ever been as surprised upon receiving information that makes this much sense

[@emisformaker]

Came here to say something about prosperity gospel and found this gem. Thank you for saying it so I don't have to.

[@WhatExcellentBoiledPo-ta-toes]

Sowing isn't always used in relation to money. For example they talk about sowing the word of God a lot.

[@Caninemuffin766]

@@WhatExcellentBoiledPo-ta-toeslol but propsperity gospel types don’t like the word of God… they like money. So you sow money. And when you get nothing back you “didn’t have enough faith” 😐

[@yeoldegunporn]

@@WhatExcellentBoiledPo-ta-toes Seed faith doctrine is a popular belief in prosperity gospel communities. It states that you need to “sow a seed in faith” typically through a type of tithing. They preach that you will literally see a 30,60 or 100% return based on your faith. Like, they think giving money to a preacher because the preacher says so will give them money in the end, directly from god. This is based on a misinterpretation of Matthew 13 and Luke 11. That’s why I believe in this context, this is exactly what they mean.

[@mythman3008]

“To sow your seed” is evangelist talk for pay per blessing or give your money plant it so it can grow into a bigger amount. You hear it all the time with these mega church pastors. It really is sickening

[@cmcoy5982]

Always reminds me of the phrase "sowing your oats" and kinda grosses me out

[@thebadpoet]

Is pay per blessing like old school Catholic indulgences? What a wild thing for any Christian denomination to swing back around to

[@reljam655]

Catholic indulgences were to pay money in exchange for getting forgiven of your sins. The modern evangelical "prosperity gospel" "sowing seeds" scam is giving money to the church in exchange for greater monetary wealth supposedly being divinely bestowed on you later. The former is robbing believers when the believers want to avoid going to the wrong place after their life is over but do not realize that the way to achieve that according to their own religion is not to buy salvation, and the latter is robbing believers who are greedy and want huge amounts of money but do not realize that 1. What they are doing is the exact opposite of the religion they purport to follow, and 2. That they achieved having less money by being scammed out of their money, so are getting the exact opposite of what they crave, which is more money. The only people who get rich from the "prosperity gospel" are the preachers who take money from all of their scam targets, otherwise known as their followers and church members. Just like how in the 1800s "big tent revival" craze, 90% of preachers were atheists who just loved scamming money from all the believers they could fool into giving them money, most "prosperity gospel" preachers do not believe in God or anything supernatural at all, and love taking money away from believers that they can get away with scamming. This is just criminal scam territory, not genuine religion territory, even though a central part of this scam is to turn the targets of the scam into the most fanatical believers on the planet so they never question those scamming them or what they themselves are doing in their life.

[@addiesantics]

Robert is honestly such an angel for thoroughly researching random topics for a bunch of peoples entertainment lol we love both of yall

[@idriscross5658]

As a Christian, saying God told me im allowed to do things is my favorite joke. “God says im allowed to lie” “God says im allowed to commit tax evasion”

[@cur1ouscatf1sh]

It’s the Christian equivalent of “source: trust me bro”

[@TarrynGamesMC]

That’s not a good thing to be joking about..😟

[@ZaF4ran]

@@TarrynGamesMC tax evasion is my favourite 🤩😍

[@pissapocalypse]

​@@TarrynGamesMC It's the perfect thing to joke about because it's hilarious. Anyone can just be like "God said so" and give no explanation and people will just be like "oh okay carry on" lol

[@TarrynGamesMC]

@@pissapocalypse But as a Christian, we aren’t supposed to be lying, especially about God telling us to do things that are falsehood because it’s misleading others.

[@JellyBeanFanta]

"I was high when I heard it from God" Best excuse ever.

[@Priscilla-Prancercise]

Good story. Thank you, Robert. Thank you, Danny. I love you, Danny.

[@rinapop2681]

I’m gonna start saying “oh I misheard God” every time I make a minor mistake

[@kingkitryne]

never thought i would ever see a pastor make an apology video. this is wild

[@fregatopolitis]

True, most pastors don't ever apologize for their crimes

[@wilma678]

Thank you Robert! Thank you Danny! Love you Danny!

[@nakenmil]

In Evangelical circles, and especially in "prosperity gospel" circles, "sowing" money means spending money on some supposedly good project or other, like giving it to a ministry or pastor or charity or whatever. There's this idea that spending a lot of money shows your faith in god and will in turn make god look out for you, explicitly through salvation in heaven but DEFINITELY implicitly through good fortune in your life.

[@ia490]

So basically bribing god lol

[@headintheclouds4571]

LMAO that’s literally what the Evangelicals left the Catholics over 😂 Babe wake up new indulgences just dropped

[@storeboughtmilk8853]

it’s like in the Roman Empire right when the Black Plague was spreading around, the Catholic church told grieving families that their loved ones would be guaranteed to go to heaven if they gave money to the church. seems like heaven has been pay to win since forever

[@Chloe-rs1gy]

⁠@@storeboughtmilk8853defs not since “forever”, paying your way to get into heaven is so far from Biblical truths it’s not even funny

[@Viteaification]

​@@storeboughtmilk8853i wouldn't say since forever. since rich nobles got a hold of it

[@rubyssxo]

god told him to tell everyone to pray, he heard pay 💀

[@lovelydragon23]

What’s worse is they paid taxes on it. So the victims can never receive the full amount. The irs would never give back the money

[@bazzfromthebackground3696]

Did they pay tax on it? Maybe he put the crypto as part of the religious institution to render no tax.

[@piquetot2795]

7:54 imo you missed an opportunity to say "my brother in christ you made the cryptocurrency"

[@ClaireBrandt508]

I live for Danny saying which is just one guy, his name is Robert

[@whiteroseblossom970]

0:30 this is reminding me of when I was a kid after we got fast food my mom would make me and my older brother say " thanks mom, you're the best mom"

[@locust-4875]

bro the "what is he bigfoot?" made me choke a bit on my food, I never laugh these days but that line hit me like a brick lmaoo

[@cloudieboyo]

“lord wants money. trust”

[@abbycross90210]

The most abrupt ending yet. Gives off real "I gotta poop!!" vibes.

[@disasterbi8610]

could be the baby? babies always be needing attention

[@nnnnn2010]

10:31 it’s so funny how every con artist publicly says that they “love ppl” or “care about ppl” and they end up being manipulative and evil

[@justkay233]

I seriously appreciate that Danny went for the pastor's throat but was still very respectful of Christianity

[@jocelynecupcake]

Same! It sounds like that Pastor wasn't even a real Christian pastor. I'm a Christian and I think this story's so weird... it sounds like the guy's a fake Christian

[@xythrial]

Gullible people being gullible

[@hshehhsheh1699]

​@@jocelynecupcake no true scots; christian's favourite excuse.

[@ioncekilledamanwithmyshoe]

I’m sure many Christian’s are fine people, but organized religion in general has serious problems. But people need something to believe in a guess, the fear of the unknown is powerful.

[@jessica5470]

@@jocelynecupcake these type of people never are, theyre professional liars, it both saddens and really confuses me that millions of poor poverished people give their money to someone whos about to drive their private jet home and they still dont clock on that thats where their money went, that level of desperation and delusion is terrifying, id love to go to one of them televangelists shows just to cause mayhem, make people realise there are far better ways to spend money and these people are definitely going to hell using gods name for their own gain, im an athiest but fuck i wish there was a good so these people would deffo be in hell

[@savourypotato]

A church taking your money? Never...

[@Ray-ew7ro]

That would be crazy

[@OctaviaVega8]

Totallyy unheard of

[@probablypositivity8918]

Pshhh couldn't be

[@PineappleDealer37]

I feel there's a difference between a church taking money for the church work itself and a priest/pastor/pop/whatever they're called in Anglicanism taking his community money for himself.

[@yowtfputthemaskbackon9202]

hey at least the catholics build a realy cool looking church with it

[@sagejennings4342]

I feel like a consistent issue isn't a lack of willingness to question God it's a lack of willingness to question pastors. People are flawed and have the capacity to lie and do so frequently. That's why child abuse is so common by pastors, they have the power to threaten you with eternal damnation and *could be lying* and adults or children have been taught to be blindly obedient to that.

[@Millie-Million]

The only reason pastors have power is because of God though. If people just had a healthy amount of scepticism for everything they consume this wouldn't happen

[@TheAlSnowShow]

I think an important distinction for Christians who want to avoid these types of “Christians” is to have faith in God and not solely in the church. I wouldn’t encourage readers of the Bible to question God but definitely question the source of who is telling it to you if it doesn’t sit right with you; talk to others about whether what they’re teaching seems right or not.

[@NFrealStan]

@@Millie-Millionpastors have power? as someone who goes to church, pastors dont have power, they’re just like every human being. maybe you mean catholics?

[@Funkypotato13backup]

0:35 thank you Danny

[@Thegoobywooby]

Love you danny

[@theREALkevinthefirst]

thank you robert

[@Funkypotato13backup]

@ yes also thank you Robert

[@zacharymonroe94]

Christian Pastor here: No more dangerous sentence than "God told me." There have been moments in prayer where I feel God has set something on my heart - and even felt prompted to share something. But it is an incredibly foolish thing to put words in God's mouth (legit the bible ends by saying "anyone who adds to this is under a curse" to combat false teachers.) People eager to say they heard things from God, almost always narcissistic. Also the "sewing" terminology is big around a lot of scammers that call themselves pastor.

[@rowancook4369]

I'm agnostic, and I've always hated that line. Someone once told me like "god told me this and that about you and your situation" and I'm like oh? He did? You're sure? He came to YOU because he wanted ME to know something instead of trying to come to me himself? And it just so happens that he told you everything you already thought anyway? Fascinating. Surely there's no possible way you misinterpreted whatever message he sent you. Surely.

[@iniratagen9740]

I used to think God talked to me in my mind and told me to stop being religious because the guilt was making every part of my life feel bad

[@haldalas]

Pretty sure it’s “sowing,” right? Like sowing seeds? Not sewing clothes?

[@mspaint93]

​@@haldalas I was just about to say this. It was 'sowing', sewing doesn't make sense.

[@brianneb3118]

@@iniratagen9740 If I may ask, as someone who's trying to figure out religion, how did that go afterward? Because sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing this too. And I'm not sure if "follow God, not the Bible" is something my own mind is telling me, or something God, who is bigger than religions, sects, and denominations, is telling me.

[@tsarinaballerina4]

“He goes by Eli, oh thank god” 💀

[@JamSome]

As it says in Leviticus 10:15 "One must gain trust with their congregations so that they can swindle them in the future."

[@jimmythegremlin]

2:45 as an avid video listener, thank you

[@aubreyw659]

I love when non religious people are able to step up and say crap like this is wrong without disrespecting the faith. Good video man

[@negligible_reality]

of course someone with Team Jesus in their pfp would say this lmfao

[@DimityPockets]

It really is refreshing to have terrible actions called out, while not attributing them to unrelated details

[@kayladavis9440]

I agree. It’s also a smart move to not alienate any viewers.

[@idisplaypace2411]

Fax

[@realnookes6482]

@@negligible_realitywhat’s wrong with it I don’t get it

[@cravinguravity]

HELP the "oh thank god" after the name struggle. help me that's so real -- but yeah i hate when pastors abuse their privilege cause it usually hurts the entire community (inwardly and how they're viewed outwardly? if that makes sense)

[@Domo23_]

“Sure..Danny.” They all say harmoniously in unison.

[@alexandrajay2001]

this is becoming Robert's channel. Danny is just the mouthpiece.

[@hansyyy]

Thank u for verbalising the profit/prophet joke as i listen to your videos when i fall asleep and i was confused initally

[@alan-baird]

"Lemme see if I can Control-F God" is the best line ever delivered from Danny's sweet lips

[@ITSPENNYTHECLOWN]

I want "thank you Robert, thank you Danny, love you Danny" on a live laugh love sign

[@louloudaki_]

merch idea merch idea

[@ITSPENNYTHECLOWN]

@@louloudaki_ yesss

[@noraborabear]

thank u robert thank u danny love u danny 0:30

[@soggyrattt]

thank u robert thank u danny love u danny

[@LukeJaxson]

Only the kids actually said that shit lmao

[@LukeJaxson]

Good comment tho

[@crimsonstrykr]

​@@LukeJaxson Love you 😘😘❤️❤️💖💖💓💓💗💗💘💘🥰🥰

[@Gafafsg]

@@LukeJaxson??

[@nadia2882]

0:40 and you’re not even gonna say it back?!🥺🥺

[@MegaMonkeVr]

Yeah bro he has to get cancelled he didn’t even say love you too bro we love him he hates us he absolutely despises us

[@rotaryway]

0:30 danny learning to talk to us like we are his children

[@stephaniejoobern1001]

Exactly lol I'm not sure if it is as a result of his+Laura's little one but at this part I was thinking 'aw maybe his baby and baby related things peak through every so often in his comedy since the little bub was born.' I think he said something to that effect when he referenced Dr. Seuss in another video. Not complaining it's still funny as always! It's also wholesome if that's why.

[@ariwoodward]

i love how he says "you can get none of this back even though i have it all" like bro u got caught if u want any smidgen of respect ud give it back personally!

[@raulrojasdiaz7189]

I appreciate you leaving in the explanation of the high prophet joke I was listening to this video on my way to work

[@TrashyTrishly]

Crypto scamming pastor, I hardly know her!

[@nonameless2]

Same energy as meeting someone who's like "God said I'm gonna marry you"

[@gr33ngirlsea]

Lol, at my Christian college, apparently guys who wanted to break up with their girlfriends told them God was telling them it was time for them to part ways.

[@EmyN]

Sheesh 😂

[@EmyN]

@@gr33ngirlseaLOL

[@WalletWorrier]

6:49 Basically, he made a worthless crypto and sold it to everyone and now doesn't allow "refunds" So he made millions not by buy crypto and reselling it whcih then made it worthless, but by inventing a worthless crypto and tricking people into buying it from him with cash

[@naomi8420]

now THIS is what christianity is all about 😎

[@fartchungus]

god put us on this earth to get on that CRYPTO GRINDSET

[@youresooolastsummer]

@@fartchungusRAHHH CRYPTO GRINDSET RAHHHH 🔥🔥🔥

[@kubo7553]

@@fartchungus WERE GETTING SCAMMED AND LIVING ON THE STREET WITH THIS ONE 🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@DimityPockets]

In all seriousness, as a Christian, scamming is a sin, so this guy is legit acting against God lol

[@Vincisomething]

Then shift the blame 😎😎 You think God would've given him a sign to tell him he misunderstood if he ever did talk to him like that

[@jennysomething3666]

Smh god hiring pastors for his MLM scheme unbelievable

[@themusicaljunkie37]

What's pretty sad is that there are people in his congregation still defending him even after the charges were bought.

[@mcclainleong6557]

KZbinrs breaking the fourth wall to talk to their editors is my favorite form of comedy.

[@safehaven717]

“where’s this liquidity gonna come from” god: “source: trust me bro”

[@adzdrawss]

“people are charging us of stealing millions of dollars from people we exploited… and just to clarify we did do that… but God told me to… i mean i could’ve misheard this super in-depth conversation we had”