The day today - Gay news

[@rightonrightonrighton]

"So see you there" had me howling

[@rachelar]

Mmm, I hope so. Seems like a nice boy

[@DrTune]

Enormously influential show. The writing and delivery on this is absolute perfection.

[@KevCraven]

Yes, influential on the actual news

[@franriding6473]

The pause between the gay elements gets me. It’s like travel news crossed with shipping forecasts.

[@Smoneey]

Just gotta wait a minute so the audience can write it down, its all very important information after all

[@SimonBrice]

Always loved that too. Pausing for the audience to take note

[@mucusmayhem1118]

"He's not gay. We wouldn't employ a homesexual" 😂

[@skeptisk]

loool. homesexual.

[@twitchygiraffe4636]

Ave it!!!!

[@heraldeventsandfilms5970]

'Not knowingly anyway.'

[@changer_of_ways_999]

"Oh, that's good. Because that would be gay."

[@BroadcastingCN]

Reply section getting sussy

[@adaml5796]

This is the kind of joke that family guy would butcher but here it’s genius.

[@c_n_b]

You think that's bad? Remember the time I hosted the gay news?

[@RayZappa]

@@c_n_b Cue Peter, dressed as a flamingo

[@MrShaneHardy]

@@RayZappa then making several crap jokes before simply stating "This is the gay news"

[@defectivepikachu4582]

@@MrShaneHardy and then cutting back to the original scene reminding us that had nothing to do with the actual episode

[@theshamanarchist5441]

That's because Family Guy is complete dross, as is EVERYTHING that comes out of America. Kiddie brain land.

[@CartersRetroReviews]

haha, you can tell this clip is old because they're telling us Argon is gay like we already didn't know that. We all knew. We've always known.

[@ayrshiresoundman]

argons not gay! They use it in welders.

[@okee9]

I’ve always had my suspicions

[@pezn2077]

Come on, it’s as gay as a window.

[@baldrbraa]

@JD Oooo, noble eh?

[@drippyspaff7616]

@@ayrshiresoundman idk being passed around to be used by welders sounds pretty gay to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@versioncity1]

I know Chris Morris would never do it, but I would love him and the team to revisit this show now. Christ the world needs it.

[@michaelcoull8590]

The satire is too subtle for the world today. Right-wing Twitter would be sharing out of context clips as “evidence” as if it was real

[@xPadge112x]

Would be cancelled before it aired

[@metube9541]

It would be carnage. I wish they’d do it.

[@massiveprogressive9488]

We had the Mash Report with Nish Kumar, but it wasn't that good

[@funkydanieluk]

@@massiveprogressive9488 the mash report was pathetic.

[@m.j.nicholls]

Most perfect comedy ever made. Not a single miss across six episodes.

[@russelledwards001]

I just rewatched it there’s a sketch with Graham linehan which is god awful. The rest is first class so funny!

[@rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700]

​@@russelledwards001it's not that awful but it is in a completely different tone from the rest of the show, very out of place.

[@mkprocter882]

which skit is it?@@rafaelfernandeslopesdeoliv1700

[@NJJ77]

@@russelledwards001 If the Graham Linehan sketch I am thinking of it was a piss take of late night 5 min cooking show for students called 'Get Stuffed' about how to cook meals on the cheap.

[@Jamesharveycomics]

@@russelledwards001yeah the Linehan sketch is funny if you know what it’s parodying. it’s also funny when you discover that people who are actually grieving their fathers find that clip on KZbin while looking for real advice

[@christschinwon]

Can't believe he missed Mercury - the gayist element of them all!

[@jaymeister4850]

It took me a year to catch this but damn, it was worth it

[@changer_of_ways_999]

@@jaymeister4850 Gay people do often come from behind.

[@Jamesharveycomics]

This thread is not really representative of the sense of humour of this show

[@christschinwon]

@@Jamesharveycomics It works. I remember a time when that was enough

[@Jamesharveycomics]

@@christschinwon how far back are we going, here

[@jak.masters]

The caught out laugh at the start - gold

[@9iam]

Quick roundup of today's gayness

[@kingbearslug97]

“Hadrians wall is very gay” that got me

[@Jmixup]

This particular sketch seems very apt right now. I still watch this show and it makes me laugh like it was the first time. So clever.

[@sayno2lolzisback]

How is it apt?

[@ianstoyan]

@@sayno2lolzisback LGBTQIA+ agenda everywhere these days.

[@sayno2lolzisback]

@@ianstoyan What's their agenda?

[@Rybo4]

You're interpreting this as a piss take on the "gay agenda" but it's really taking the piss out of right wing idiots who care so much about this kind of thing. Do you even know who Chris Morris is hahahahaha.

[@sayno2lolzisback]

@Paddy O’Shea if its deviant to love cock then sign me up x

[@PurushaDesa]

The intonations are 👌🏽 perfection.

[@Zongooo]

He's obviously right about the Mediterranean.

[@robertcreighton4635]

As a gay I miss the weekly gay updates that the BBC used to broadcast. They should bring it back

[@PaIaeoCIive1684]

Ironically, the BBC, western media and every institution goes gay on a daily basis to tick that box among so many. From almost ignoring gayness to pandering to its every whim in a few decades.

[@Smoneey]

No idea how you know what to drive these days

[@wishingwell12345]

You could offer to host it mate. Oh. Never mind.

[@patchso]

I guess it’s all done online nowadays. These young gay people don’t know they’re born!

[@thegoat5141]

Take your gay agenda somewhere else you librul

[@truandlapommedeterre]

Knew copper was coming when he started listing the gay elements... Had to be.

[@chrisf1600]

Total surprise to me, obviously I'd heard rumours but I never believed them

[@illeatthat]

Only the Brits can deliver comedy like this

[@krashd]

It's what all of our white vans are for.

[@user-vg1tt3vg9y]

@@krashd badum tss!

[@punkisinthedetails1470]

@@krashd 😉👌

[@punkisinthedetails1470]

@@crashtestdolphin5884 awesome name , just saying

[@illeatthat]

@@crashtestdolphin5884 the Onion isn't as dry

[@FrankBudino]

Peter Baynham and Iannucci are absolutely legendary comedy writers

[@marshmelows]

This aged like fine wine

[@Just_lift_anyone]

Love Peter Baynham, him and Chris Morris on the R1 music show is just fantastic. Also his pauses between each element I find hilarious 🤣

[@geckowithcamo]

Every year or so I listen to Chris Morris blows off a newsreader and goes live from the scene. Peter is hilarious in the leadup.

[@Just_lift_anyone]

@@geckowithcamo yes! that was incredible, the call to the newsagent is the funniest thing I've heard

[@MartinHiggins1972]

Yes! I just noticed the masterful pause for the first time!

[@FaxanaduJohn]

Also the way he says “argon”.

[@donw9483]

Colin Poppshed. The reporter names were genius..

[@chrisw4997]

"He's not gay by the way. We wouldn't employ a homosexual"

[@BanjoLuke1]

I can see now where Newsnight got their no-nonsense style. This show was the Velvet Underground of news. Its influence can be seen on shows that were broadcast up to twenty years earlier - and you can't say that about Bake Off.

[@catbat06]

it's incredible how it influenced the past

[@Hic_Rhodus]

@@catbat06 😆 Love your quip. But, ironically, that is pretty much exactly what revolutionary acts (and works of art) actually do!

[@Jamesharveycomics]

Bake Off hasn't been around for 20 years, you daft ha'p'orth

[@benjaminmorris7159]

@@Hic_Rhodus you probably already know im gonna ask you this - can i borrow your time machine?

[@Hic_Rhodus]

@@benjaminmorris7159 The revolutionary text/artwork *is* the machine that rewrites the past (and how we experience it).

[@immortalsun]

That was better than I expected.

[@MrBrynmair]

We would not employ a homosexual……loved that, so funny.

[@joannalewis5279]

It's so ridiculous it's brilliant

[@the5thmusketeer215]

Why didn’t “GAY DESK” cover the vociferous protests organised against “The Straits of Gibraltar”?

[@AndrewKay]

Because the joke isn't about wordplay, it's about how homophobes arbitrarily decide that certain things are "gay" in order to police each other's interests and self-expression.

[@the5thmusketeer215]

@@AndrewKay “Fortunately” - we don’t have those issues today, though, do we, Andrew…? Because the people who, themselves, vociferously & crassly broadcast to the entire world that they are “Gay” - & ram it down our throats 24/7 - including appropriating AN ENTIRE MONTH of each Year for us all to compulsorily “celebrate” Gay “PRIDE with them… now police OUR interests & demand that OUR self-expression be monitored, so as to label us all as “Homophobes” if any of us should even DARE to voice our disquiet at this outrageous & relentless propagandist assault on our Society, our Children’s sacrosanct Education & our traditional Family Values… by one of the most overbearing & deceitful Pressure Groups in existence today, who are among THE VERY WORST practitioners of tyrannical “Cancel Culture” - while simultaneously **masquerading** as a poor, downtrodden minority, 🥺 who only seek to promote “Equality, Diversity & Inclusivity.” 🤞🤥 The sheer, unmitigated HYPOCRISY of such a malign (& wholly transparent… 🤨) methodology is, quite simply, *off the scale.* 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@robair67]

@@AndrewKay I think it was a rhetorical question.

[@tamhaswoods9056]

Is that the voice box guy from the Alan Partridge series - ("GET THE COW OFF THE BOAT!!")

[@CS-mo7xp]

yes.....

[@johnnibaz6883]

The Caspian Sea isn't gay. It's Lespian.

[@wege8409]

Potassium, all you had to do was stay out of bananas. But nooooo.

[@zephyr8072]

“Also, the Berlin Wall was super-gay.” Putin: “NOOOOOOOOO…”

[@dongomajor]

What does Putin have to do with the Berlin Wall

[@teej008]

The Berlin Wall was latent gay with a wife and kids

[@zephyr8072]

@@dongomajor Putin is an extreme USSR fetishist who wants things back to the way they were before the wall fell.

[@nackskott12]

@@dongomajor What does a Russian imperialist have to do with Russian imperialism?

[@smoppet]

Nice to know these places and things are so happy

[@iskye07]

I've stopped being gay, but I'm still off to the Caspian and the Mediterranean via the A48M. See you there :)

[@scsutton1]

Are you heading there in a mid-80s VW?

[@CrazyBrosCael]

“Hadrians wall is very gay” This joke flew over my head for the first few seconds.

[@wilhelmu]

I still don't get it

[@budomk9299]

@@wilhelmu me neither tbh. I wish someone would explain.

[@nooneinparticular3370]

@@wilhelmu Hadrian is a well known Roman emperor who was completely uninterested in women, the love of his life being Antinous, a young lad.

[@wilhelmu]

@@nooneinparticular3370 i didn't know that. interesting. I mean, I knew about the wall and about the emperor, but not about his sexuality.

[@nooneinparticular3370]

@@wilhelmu There's an even more fascinating case: Elagabalus. It's better if you look him(?) up on the Wikipedia, there's just too much for me to go off memory.

[@BarneyGuffle]

Peter Baynham. He was great on the Chris Morris Music Show.

[@cartoonhead9222]

Hang on, I saw this on BBC News last night.

[@cdname47]

This is his only on camera moment in the day today apart from that guy who says "it's nonsense" in another ep lol We should've seen more of him

[@AdjustableSquelch]

you see him briefly in Grimsby as the traffic warden who gets blown up, he co-wrote it.

[@13thcentury]

Maybe he turned gay, they don't employ homosexuals

[@cdname47]

@@13thcentury homosexuals can't swim, the attract enemy radar, they MUCK ABOUT...and aren't suitable for the navy

[@TheDrugOfTheNation]

I’m pretty sure he’s also Dumpy Currency Susan. Chris. Chris.

[@Pirosbor]

Isn't he also the guy with that weird-ass tracheotomy voicebox in Alan Partridge?? Him and Simon Pegg are the crew that film a boat commercial or something with Alan in it.

[@stevecarter8810]

The pauses for the elements so that we can update our records

[@chelseapoet3664]

2024 here. Regent Street in London is probably still gay, I'm not sure they're ever gonna take the flags down.

[@Struieboy]

This is outrageous! Zinc is not gay! I demand a retraction

[@pauljackson2409]

The gay community is galvanized into action!

[@RealUlrichLeland]

I think zinc isn't technically gay anymore after they got filled up with d and stopped being a transition metal.

[@pauljackson2409]

@@RealUlrichLeland Those transition metals are a whole other issue. They shouldn't be competing in alkali metal sports!

[@Tao_Tology]

What's wrong with an element being gay, eh? If the good lord had wanted them all to be straight the periodic table would have been a line. #Science

[@iblame_nargles]

The amount of comments thinking this would offend the snowflakes/this is the news now or whatever else is absurd lmfao I get that you lot are out of touch but fucking hell

[@vooveks]

They lie in wait for something they perceive as 'politically incorrect', and before their little brains can analyze where the actual humour is coming from for a second, their little fingers are typing out a comment, devoid of irony and self-awareness, so that everyone knows how politically correct the world has become, and how you can't say anything these days, and how this generation are a bunch of snowflakes and you'd never get away with this now etc etc etc. It's very tiring.

[@Rybo4]

Legit. This was written by what they would class as snowflakes.

[@nakkadu]

This wont offend anyone, it just won't make anyone laugh

[@hotelmario510]

Came here to say the exact same thing. People love to drag stuff like this into their culture war bullshit and Morris's comedy is quite elevated above all that spiceboy shite

[@simonsimon325]

They're so boring. Every time you go near any of these sorts of clips you get knobheads going on about how everyone would be offended, not counting them of course as they're so amazing. But you never see one person complaining, just tossers imagining it. They seem to think because they can't tell the difference between clever comedy and the stupidly arrogant stuff, no one else can either. Just the fact they think people would be offended by this tells you they think gay people are the joke.

[@colinstewart1432]

Only a Pocket Shepherd can avert disaster tests have shown. 👍

[@ShadowHasselhoff]

The actual news is marginally less absurd than this - and that’s the point. 👍🏻

[@shinrarango]

the gay today

[@DCharlieAC]

Just levels ahead of everything ...

[@stephenborland4749]

Foolishly, I boycotted Neon in the 90's thinking IT was the gay inert gas. Boy did I feel stupid when I realised it was Argon.

[@jacderida]

"Gay cars next..." 😂😂😂

[@bl1398]

I unironically sold my Volkswagen because of this clip at the time

[@williama7124]

you do realise you were the butt of the joke. It's mocking people who called anything and everything "gay".

[@Telstar62a]

@@grahamwinston3692 If you had something and used it practically, before 'Hipsters' took it over and you couldn't stand to be known as having it anymore. Typewriters, vintage clothing, any manual tools, older, non-geared bicycles, things like that

[@budomk9299]

@@Telstar62a that's so sad

[@Rabbit_Hill]

@@budomk9299 right? Imagine getting rid of something you like and enjoy because other people like and enjoy it too. The irony being that, in this context, the people like that are falling into the exact stereotype that they put on “hipsters.” “I liked it before hipsters thought it was cool 🤬”

[@montypython5521]

@@Rabbit_Hill More like "Now everyone thinks I'm a hipster"

[@gadaboutunited]

Colin Poppshed as a name for this is brilliant.

[@stevensutton4677]

Any updates on the A39 between Bath and Glastonbury?

[@davelordythesecond]

Apparently it's bi with elements of gayness at the Bath end.

[@hatednyc]

This is kind of like the Onion when it was still a newspaper

[@davidkelly2]

Satire heaven, I'm there right beside you.

[@tiyas5378]

Here's to hoping that the onion can slowly shift back to the kind of content they used to make. If I was rich I'd give them all my money to help them out.

[@ralek592]

@@tiyas5378 If I was rich I'd find out who writes and makes all their ideas and also help them out

[@jaymeister4850]

Copper! I frigging knew it!

[@emanuel_soundtrack]

thx for the information! i wonder how youtube still allows this . Pls keep me informed about changes and variations regarding gays

[@richardchason]

Always had a feeling about argon

[@ExtraMaestro]

I believe Bismuth is a pretty gay element today

[@enderredacted112]

it's oxide is literally the pride flag how couldn't it be

[@ExtraMaestro]

@@enderredacted112 that and it’s symbol

[@darkashtar]

Great comedic work

[@SiOnara]

The gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean. So, see you there! 😉

[@mattlm64]

Sea you there.

[@rlagusrlagus]

POV: You're J. K. Rowling

[@SpicyJohn69]

KZbin's algorithms aren't gay, however they do often recommend videos like this that are right up my alley.

[@davelordythesecond]

Jesus, are you calling it your 'alley' now ?

[@madmurdock100]

​@@davelordythesecondwhy are you blaming Jesus for this?????

[@davelordythesecond]

@@madmurdock100 He works for KZbin, they all do.

[@madmurdock100]

​@@davelordythesecondidiot

[@robertjsmith]

Argon isnt gay i met him in a public toilet,he said he was bi

[@carlhunton9516]

Very noble of him

[@TheoHiggins]

Surely he'd be asexual if anything

[@roberthudson3386]

How can helium not be one of the gay elements?

[@Bee_v0mit]

Is this what people used to use before the gaydar was invented?

[@icebear3034]

This is on my recommended 10 years later

[@coolbreeze6198]

This is hilarious 😂😂😂 the good ol days

[@skippysdead]

'The dust in this place!'

[@cavedweller2000]

I live close to the A48(M) and I always had my suspicions

[@mfelix3511]

SO SEE YA THERE

[@jp2003]

'Gay Unit' LOL

[@Hysteria98]

This will be strangely prophetic once again, come June...

[@Dave-kj4vr]

Judging by the comments, the Americans have recently discovered the Day Today, and it's completely gone over their heads.

[@logansimmons3199]

Gay and Fortnite in the same sentence

[@johnsrabe]

Ah. That explains Argon’s Canadian girlfriend.

[@jonnythomas4885]

Volkswagen's get the gay tag but campervans get off scott free!

[@EdJonesVideos]

i mean, hadrian's wall was pretty gay given what we know about Hadrian

[@thephoenixsystem6765]

You can tell how long it's been by how much the list of gay elements has changed. Good old zinc, though

[@Shoutatclouds]

"So see you there"

[@constantinosschinas4503]

i would never thought Argon is gay.

[@versioncity1]

I know I was surprised about that too. I mean Zinc I can understand, but Argon?

[@pauljackson2409]

Noble gases don't hook up with anyone, they're voluntarily celibate. Those halogens though, total slappers!

[@anonymouse740]

I always suspected the A48M was gay.

[@potato1341]

JK rowling looking back at Harry Potter:

[@sterobloc6645]

No mention of gentlemen’s toilets on Hampstead Heath then?

[@Tao_Tology]

Ironically the toilets themselves are very straight.

[@hailtothevic]

Chris looks a lot like Tom Holland

[@ayrshiresoundman]

Delivered in a similar style to Martin Brundle.

[@xoloesquincle]

Brilliant!

[@Lassemalten]

ohh damn I'm invested in zinc so I'm gay now

[@darthkahn45]

Copper?? REALLY?? Kept that well hidden I gotta say

[@thephoenixsystem6765]

It was a phase

[@mickeymcnaughton2555]

You missed the M69, and Toyota cars.

[@notthebody]

Shut that door.

[@fanda6122]

in my minds eye i know this inspired the gay man news from a very special podcast called ctown

[@TigerPrawn_]

I'm sorry, the only true gay element is Bismuth.

Antimony being a close second.

[@MCVessels]

...And it wasn't on the list due to Bi erasure?

[@Cracklemere]

The Gay Today

[@rugbynimbus]

See you there.

[@TheHutchy01]

I showed this to a gay friend of mine, and it confirmed for him the suspicions he's always had about argon.

[@markgoulden7851]

The people who wrote this show aren't mortal. Either that or they time travelled to June 2023.

[@urmaisgay6495]

usually ‘only in britain’ is an insult, but sometimes it isnt.

[@minimap1]

It’s Reynholm!!!?

[@wisteela]

Genius.

[@patchso]

I’m old enough to remember the day when the A48 (M) went gay.

[@spootot]

I have no clue how I knew copper would be gay

[@jacobzaranyika9334]

Really gentlemen. Lol 😂